Fi’s Fight Back - BIGGEST RECOVERY WIN FOR MONTHS - I had my first hot dinner 💪🏻🌈

Today I managed my first hot dinner for nearly 6 months. It has been such a huge block for me for such a long time…
I’ve invisibly been having other nutrition at 6pm but this was the first step toward having proper dinners again.
It wasn’t perfect, it was hard and I really struggled, especially after. But we keep doing the next right thing.
Also answering some questions - what to say and not say to someone in recovery.
One hour at a time, we keep moving forward 🦋
#anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recoveryispossible #edrecovery #dayinthelife #inpatient #recovery

[@BuinidhMoChridheDoAlba]

So proud of you Fi! Your parents are right about the personality, it's visible in your videos. Even when you are anxious about your meal plan, you still manage to smile.

[@Meg-hz4pt]

Is it just me or does anyone else see Fi's personality coming back? That's the true magic of recovery ❤️ so proud of you warrior xx

[@sheenaaikins4939]

I see it too. The amount of smiling in this video alone is amazing :)

[@Rainbopagn]

You deserve to take up space and be visible. You have such an amazing personality; we’re all so lucky you choose to share you with us. I’m so proud of you for fighting this as hard as you are.

[@sheenaaikins4939]

My Mom had an eating disorder when I was growing up, but I was too young to understand anything about it back then. Now that I'm older and struggle with my own mental illnesses (not an eating disorder, but Anxiety & Depression), I feel like I can understand it just a little more. And while I haven't been following your journey very long, what I can say is that you are inspiring. The amount of honesty, strength, and vulnerability you show in your videos just amazes me. It takes true strength to fight THROUGH a mental illness, rather than hide behind it. And that's exactly what you're doing. You're fighting THROUGH it. Every meal, every appointment, every video documenting your journey...it's all part of your fight through it. So thank you for sharing all of it with us ♡

[@mausarma]

You mentioned how anxious you are but you have a twinkle in your eye today. It’s nice to see. It must be hard to not want to be seen and yet be brave enough to share all of this. GO FI!!

[@nicolewaring8207]

Fi I am a chronic illness suffer with a ED who is a bigger person . I found your tictoks and my partner commented that I always smile when I see your face pop up. You are honest about your fight. I am so proud of you and so happy to see you doing your increases each time even though you can see the struggle . It helps me fight my own struggles a little . Thank you so much for sharing you are such an inspiration

[@allisonhamilton1245]

I know the idea of being seen is your fear, I want you to know how brave you are by doing this online is. You are winning. The thoughts are the battleground and you are gaining the front. The internal idea of disappointing others is so hard. You have to learn your pure existence makes you worth anyone's time, thought, even bother. You are a miracle ❤️

[@ganiisness]

I was thinking in the beginning that even though I can see that you are still anxious and scared there’s just more energy in your voice now than when I started to follow your journey back. You got this, keep on fighting. Also I love your dress! That colour is lovely

[@vannasilver]

What an amazing day, I’m so proud of you for the strength you show hour after hour. As always, cheering you on virtually every step of the way. Way to go Fi. 🥳🥳🥳

[@patriciasheridan7]

You are bright and shining! Your extraordinary honesty in sharing your struggles is amazing. So, oceans away, I am blessed to see and hear you. Go,, girl!

[@aliflanagan7669]

I could really see how passionate you are about teaching people about psychology in this video. You're going to do awesome at uni and conferences and stuff!!

[@slhart]

I absolutely understand why you dislike people speaking about how you look. I'm the same way. My eating disorders are not the same as yours, but the feelings are very similar. I'd rather be ignored than have someone comment on changes to my body. It just sets me back. But yes, people generally mean well. One day at a time. ❤

[@erinsmall4319]

I’ve lost a lot of weight and gained it through my life. When people say “you look fabulous….or……my goodness you look sex or healthy or skinny makes me anxious as hell!!! I absolutely understand where you’re coming from 💕💕💕

[@lyricann3660]

You are such a beautiful soul Fi ✨✨Thank you for allowing us to catch glimpses of your life. I genuinely feel invested in you and your story. You WILL fight your way back 💖💖

[@prayer_tent]

Thank you so much for sharing your heart! Praying for you as you gain your goals one step at a time. There is a story in the bible about a man named Job who went through some horrible things and the short of the story is all he really needed was someone one to sit with him and ask him, "How are you today?" And to be content with silence or a long conversation. Fi, God sees you and He is with you and understands your struggles. He doesn't judge you but instead desires for you to know that He is right there with you, sitting with you and loving on you just the way you are. Call out to Him, He will help you to know that you are deeply loved and valued just the way you are.

[@droppingtheweight]

That is one of the most logical and triggering comments we can have, but u are beautiful and we can see your personality shine through, and I’m so proud of u for continuing your battle it gives us hope and joy. Thank you!

[@kellihostettler8817]

So proud of you. As a fellow anxiety sufferer, I can tell how anxious you are but you keep pushing through it. That takes incredible strength that very few people have. Keep going, you've got this.

[@Lee-bv6qf]

This video of your really spoke to me. I found your channel through Tik Tok and even though I have never gone through a eating disorder, I really get what you have said throughout this video as I have had my very own struggles that I had to fight through. You really putting in alot of work and I can see it. I really wish you everything of the best during your recovery period. And on the day's when it's simply overwhelming and a little too much, remember the effort you made thus far has been nothing short of amazing. The recovery process is a marathon not a sprint and just by showing up to try again you are doing well. All the best.

[@ronnieshotgun]

Your comments are so applicable to other struggles people go through. The best validation and encouragement is tied to positive thought and not physical things. Although I do not share the same struggle as you, thinking of how you’re putting one foot in front of the other and pushing through has made me think “if she can do it, I can overcome inertia and do x, y, or x.” I have been really proud of some of my progress over the last two weeks since you first came across my FYP on Tiktok. Thank you so much for sharing your journey so that others can begin or continue on their own… whatever those journeys may be.

[@caroleleeboutilier7205]

Thank you for showing your journey. You are such an inspiration. You have a world of love behind you.

[@J3an3ttak]

Oh Fi… you have me in tears. I am so proud of you! You are so brave! Keep fighting and finding Fi! Hour by hour, bite by bite!

[@mkmousej6745]

You are right I have no idea what this feels like but you have done such an amazing job of explaining it to us that I feel so much better educated on the subject. And it makes me even prouder of you! You are tackling this like a champ. Not to say ithere are not set backs but you dont let them define you and that is amazing. Also video mark 9:04 "only 20% of the people with an eating disorder are under weight" that we can have eating disorders at healthy weights ... mind blown! Keep the info and the updates coming girl! You are creating a world of better educated more compassionate people by sharing your story. I am sorry this has had to come at the expense of your struggles. thank you

[@courtneymcguffee5753]

I have so many things I want to say but they all sound super hokey as I am a random stranger on the internet. I am proud of you for continuing even though it’s hard. You are amazing, you are worth it, and you CAN DO THIS!!! Keep going!!!

[@slacker13244]

You can do the hard things. Stay positive and do your best…that’s all you can do. Remember, small progress towards your goals is still progress. Live is full of peaks and valleys and is never linear. Unfortunately, with bad times, there is no way around, only through. And you will make it through.

[@taylormclaughlin1623]

So proud of you sharing your story. Your words are so inspiring. Thank you for being so open and giving us the words to communicate better with you!

[@maylingrace]

Thank-you for sharing about the aspect of the disorder that is about not being seen for you. So important for being to understand that EDs are not really about food at their core. I am someone who has struggled with being overweight all my life and there is something so ponente to me about the fact that as young woman whose bodies look so different, we have internalized the exact same message. "Be small, don't take up space, be invisible, don't speak, don't make noise, don't need anything, don't want anything." I have a quote on the lock-screen of my phone that says "I am allowed to take up space." For me that is not just about loving and accepting my body. It is also about how much I let myself express my personality and especially my wants and needs. I don't need to be less and want less to accommodate other people. I am allowed to take up space. You are allowed to take up space.

[@apriloconnor2250]

Remember Fi that the smaller you are, the more people are going to see you and notice you because they’ll be concerned about you. The better you get, the more you’ll blend in again. Keep up the good work 💞

[@charaharris5455]

I don’t know the old Fi but I think this Fi is spectacular. So brave and a great role model for others who are struggling I’m so invested in your story Praying for you and cheering you on every day. I think it’s also important that you show your good days and bad days. You’re an amazing young woman ❤️❤️

[@trisharchimbaud1658]

Thank you for explaining that. Your explanation really helped me understand more of how you feel and how comments made with all good intentions are interpreted. This makes so much sense.

[@sharontaylor9045]

Silence isn’t about an absence of noise in our head, it’s more about the quality of the noise. I look forward to the day that your happy is what’s loudest 😘

[@missydandelion6923]

OMG Fi, i cant believe how well you are doing! You can see it. You look so much healthier and better already!

[@missydandelion6923]

So sorry Fi. I wrote this comment before I even watched the video. I have followed your journey for so long so I comment and like before even watching it because I am so happy for you

[@missydandelion6923]

I hope you can use your healthy, real and true self to know I mean it in the best way possible. These comments are to FI not the ED. Dont let the ed make Fi think bad things!

[@shellybrown8631]

Thank you for sharing your journey with us. We see how difficult this is. We respect your strength, determination and the battle. One small step at a time ❤️

[@theresatrenck9972]

Your Ed is a lot like my anxiety and depression. I also like to be hidden in the background. I’m sorry for struggle. Stay strong.💪🏼

[@dianemitchell5363]

Dearest Fi! I am so very proud of you! Thank you for sharing your journey. You have the most amazing soul! You truly are an inspiration and I'm so very happy to be part of your cheering section! 💜💜💜

[@heatherconnolly8658]

You are doing so well, stand tall and be proud of yourself.even 1 extra minute without anxiety is a great step forward. Your eyes light up when you talk about your friends, you are lucky to be in each other’s lives. 👏 👏

[@kristinscarboro7093]

This was a big step in your recovery. I know it had to be difficult, but you did it! You claimed another piece of your life, and got a little closer to who Fi truly is. You have such a good heart, and you deserve all the good things. Thank you so much for educating us and sharing your recovery. You’re helping a lot of people.

[@wendychristensen5361]

I’m so incredibly in awe of how amazingly strong you are. Thank you so much for sharing your story and educating us on your struggle. Sending hugs.

[@harmonyhope1709]

Love your new dress. It's so pretty 😍 well done for pushing yourself out of your comfort zone xx however you don't need to hide away. Be proud of who you are as a person. Not in terms of looks but because you're a genuinely lovely person and you're getting everything right because you're helping others, despite struggling yourself and that's the most selfless thing to do ❤️ ps your hair looks pretty in the ponytail... Not a mess, although I know you're used to it being in plaits. Also love the colour of your nails 💙💙💙

[@ksabat9]

I'm so proud of you, Fi! I didn't know the "old" Fi, but i'm so looking forward to meeting her as you find her again. It sounds like you have amazing friends who are there for you in person, but know you have some friends here as well who see you for you. Even on harder days, just know there's plenty of us who are there with you and support you and all of the ups and downs. We're here with you, one day at a time. One hour at a time. One minute at a time.

[@teenayoung7449]

You are so brave Fi. I have never experienced an ED. So, I can only imagine how hard the struggle is, but you are doing it each day, bite by bite. You are an inspiration to others who are fighting!!! Keep up the hard work!!

[@missievanoordt1717]

I can see the struggle this still is but I am so proud to meet a bit more fi each day! You are strong and resilient

[@JessMichael150]

I'm sorry hon. I did say something of that sorts. A while later after thinking about it I had deleted it. But you must've read it. I appreciate how sweet you are, thank you. ❤️ And looking back at videos from October your smile is so beautiful and genuine now, so much at a better place. You're doing so good, and I'm so happy you have your parents at every step too. 💪🏻

[@donnalewis6323]

Hiya Fi lovely to see you thank you for sharing what not to say.Hugo looks like he’s enjoying his cuddles 🥰. I can see what your mum means there’s more of Fi to come and I’m looking forward to seeing Fi.Much love to you sweetheart

[@skipper7216]

Fi you are an amazingly intelligent and strong young woman!! Keep advocating for people with eating disorders and mental illness because you are amazing!!!

[@katespalding2134]

I can so relate to your anxieties concerning clothing colour, shrinking, not being a problem, getting things wrong constantly. It’s so hard, so many continual twists and turns and the battles, oh the battles. ❤️

[@suethompson6512]

Thank you so much for sharing and educating us. You're helping a lot of people.

[@mojcapokraculja5416]

You look so much better keep going ... we are with you

[@ashleywithers2969]

So glad you have a great support system around you and I’m honored to be even a tiny part of your support team! You’re doing great.

[@jessannear7152]

Yes ! When I get told your looking well or something it automatically makes my mood go even worst and everything so I get you! You’ve got this girl ♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@pidohuntress7385]

Awesome! you are doing great.Recovery is hard, but I promise its so worth it.

[@e3jen153]

I think its totally unacceptable to ever comment on another persons weight at all. Its so rude imo Keep up the good work, you are inspiring so many with how brave you are being. Sending lots of love 💖💖💖

[@jul62187]

KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK! I completely understand the struggle. I understand how the thoughts are always there. I understand how comments can be triggering even even the person saying them means well. I understand how the word "healthy" can feel like the word "fat". I am glad that you were able to be honest about it on here so that others can hopefully respect that , and not comment on physical aspects about you. Because you are SO much more than that!!! It made me SO happy to hear you say that you parents said that you were singing again! Music can be so healing and it can speak to the heart! Keep on Singing!!! Maybe one day you will make a video of you singing!

[@maddiem2460]

Fi, one question I always wonder about when you discuss your increases: I know it's emotionally difficult when your meal plan increases, but do you ever battle physical discomfort and fullness with the regular timing and size of your portions too? As always, you're an absolute rockstar. I'm so proud to watch your progress with each video, even when it's not linear, babe!

[@kecrn4132]

I definitely struggled BIG TIME physically, with increases …. It can be horribly uncomfortable and painful.

[@jaclynnstrawinski6626]

Super proud of you! It’s been so wonderful to be let in and see different facets of your personality shine. Love seeing you and your dad together 💜. You’ve got this, you’re a boss lady!

[@BrightStar699]

So proud of you! I look forward to seeing your videos so much😄 Keep fighting!💜💜💜

[@mustonle]

I know it feels like sometimes it's two steps back for every step forwards, but look how far you've come. There is a confidence in your voice that is lovely to hear, even on the hard days. You've met every challenge head on and I know you're going to absolutely master this one. Embrace that amazing support system you've got, and keep going!❤

[@robinjoy2789]

You're doing splendidly and we're all rooting for you Fi . Sending love light strength and encouragement

[@cassiesmith8828]

Hang tough Fi! You can do this! I believe in you and you are so deserving of joy and happiness! ♥️

[@lucydiaz8939]

So proud of you for taking a huge step, you have the strength inside of you, keeping digging for it, and keep moving forward, you are super awesome

[@donnagiroir9114]

So very proud of you. Keeping moving forward. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@ashleyruggiero5805]

I really love seeing you succeed in getting Fi back and reaching your goals, you've got this!

[@nicolapettman8310]

Thankyou for this post, you explained everything so well! I'm definitely going to share this post with a few people as your right, comments about your appearance can be so detrimental. By the way your dress is so pretty 💕

[@rosiemariee1341]

Wohooooo so proud at you doing the increases keep it up so you can get the old fi back I know it’s hard but you can do it

[@leaarcher6971]

I am soooooo proud of you, Fi! Your lovely personality shined though as you helped us all to understand ED’d more. You will succeed, get back to Uni, and you will be able to share your SUCCESS story with so many more people! Much love to you!

[@sharoncarroll4103]

Fi! I’m so proud of you ! You’re amazing,beautiful, and kind! Great job ! I love the dress ! I love black too! Either way it’s ok !

[@candaceshura1461]

Sending you so much support 💜 keep going! You're doing so wonderful

[@JenniferWallen]

You deserve to shine Fi ❤️❤️

[@mimiewing922]

Unbelievably proud of you, Fi ❤️ you’re fighting so hard!

[@lemonlime8363]

You’re so well spoken, Fi. Thank you for sharing. I am curious if you Do you do your own nails. They always look so nice.

[@aureliaabcouwer574]

Keep going, Fi! And thanks as always for sharing your journey. You sharing this experience is so powerful for so many people. You giving voice to this struggle is a beautiful thing. I know I feel seen hearing you talk so eloquently about something that is so hard to give language to. You've got this! Hour by hour, day by day, you've got this. So, so proud of you.

[@lauramahoney6546]

Thank you for being so honest and opening up - it really spreads awareness! Keep going, you got this!

[@TheBrunetteTheory_]

that’s totally understandable that those comments make you uneasy, it makes perfect sense ❤️ one bite at a time and one hour at a time love ❤️ Fi is still there x

[@shanosullivan12]

Fi, I love your new dress! 😍 Amazing work with the hot meal! One of the biggest hurdles to climb, in my opinion! You are so strong and resilient to keep fighting! We are all so proud of you! 💗

[@brigittemcclure4099]

What an amazing day for Finding Fi!!! I’m so proud of you! You seem to have more energy and it’s really nice to see. Thank you for answering questions and helping us understand how to help you better:-). Keep on keeping on. 💪❤️

[@kellybeiter9486]

Thank you for sharing your advice on commenting! The dress/color is lovely on you!

[@BrandiBcrazy]

You are ENOUGH. You are amazing, resilient, strong and able to battle your mind which is a tremendously hard battle. This is hard & you are excelling!!! We are sooo proud of you and I admire you so much!! So much love to you! 💕

[@serenityhillsfarm1798]

So proud of you for sharing your story - your strength amazes me, even when you struggle you push through. 😍😍😍 you ARE enough

[@123bex4]

Congratulations on doing such a hard thing. I’m so proud of you and can see how hard you found it but you did it! Beautiful new dress too x

[@joannecurtis7286]

Really proud of you darling, this is such a candid and honest conversation about your life. Thank you for the explanation of your feelings and experience. Keep smiling, sending hugs of strength and support xx

[@lost_illusion3951]

Just seeing this video now, stopped to pause to put this. You are beautiful and so incredibly strong! You are doing a brilliant job! Even though its been a tough time recently, you're still doing sooooo well!!! Good job Fi, you'll find her again ❤🥰

[@dianagreen4483]

Thankyou so much for sharing your day Fi, and taking the time to explain how it really feels for you. You have such great family n friends around you, and a troop of us loons keeping an eye on you too! Onwards Fi..! Xx

[@meganmarlin2115]

You’re taking all the steps to be able to do the things you want to do and achieve your goals. That demonstrates tremendous strength! How you articulated how comments translate for you was so important to understand the why behind how comments can be helpful or harmful. Thank you for your explanation.

[@Helroses]

Your eyes and smile seem brighter even in the short time I’ve been following you on here and TikTok! You’re fighting such a hard battle and we are all so proud of you for fighting even when it’s is and has been tough.

[@xristinas2767]

You are so well spoken. You can explain difficult things and make them understandable. Also what i know is that stracciatella is a kind of ice cream! Its my favourite along with cookies and cream ice cream. :) I hope you find these bars somewhere near you.

[@WittyOneMN]

Thank you for answering these questions, Fi! It definitely helps me understand your fight. You are a Warrior, Fi! And we are all here standing behind you, cheering you onward! Ps. Love your dress! 😍

[@loisstoneking8709]

I cannot imagine what you are going thru!!! I have the opposite problem of eating my feelings. Eating disorders are so hard to understand. I wish you well! I am praying for you!!!!!

[@Mycraftyshack]

I'm so proud of you fi your so bubbly and I'm so proud you made it into London to go to the theatre,the smile on your face says you was proud too. Keep it up fi we are always here to listen and take the journey along with you.

[@barbienostrant11]

Thank you for educating us in this video!

[@anne-mariesullivan3174]

What an amazing video, I’ve just forwarded this to some of my friends. I am now a healthy weight and people, with the best intentions, just don’t understand. You explain the illness so well. Thank you - keep going you are doing an amazing job! xxxxxxx

[@ttinthetdot]

You should be so proud of yourself - I’ve been following your journey for a while now and am very proud of you!! Keep it up - you can do it!!

[@blessedmommy7349]

wonderful video Fi. I can relate so much. I've struggled with anorexia from the age of 10, and I'm now 48 and still struggling with not wanting to be seen or "obvious" in some way, which makes me feel unsafe. I'm working hard, and your videos help remind me to just keep going even if it's uncomfortable. I can't wait for you to get your recovery box, I'm almost finished it. Much Love to you Fi -Danie & Finlay xo

[@shannond2201]

That looked difficult for you but look just how much you smashed it! Be SO incredibly proud of yourself xx

[@jackiewhite7855]

Your smile reaches your eyes and its such a beautiful smile 😍

[@melissascabarozi3888]

Not sure if you'll find this strange, but I find your voice to be very relaxing. I do not have an eating disorder, but I do experience some anxiety with food. Two years ago I was extremely unwell and lost loads of weight. After tons of tests, I learned I have Celiac disease. So my anxiety comes from not being able to eat out safely, or if I get invited anywhere, I can't really trust the things people serve because it could make me very sick. Sometimes people have trouble understanding why I won't eat. Does the food on your meal plan ever hurt your stomach, like when it increases, or is it just a mental issue for you?

[@charaharris5455]

That’s a great explanation. Thank you for informing us. ❤️❤️

[@docgrace]

I started following your journey on Tiktok, and now following you on KZbin. Congratulations on your recovery win!

[@moonysmistress]

I’m so proud of you for working through your meal plan increase! You’re strong!

[@sandee1000]

Thank you for sharing this journey with us

[@abigailjanuary]

Oh my gosh! You're doing amazingly well. 👏🏽 A huge well done hug to you 🤗

[@katherineelizabeth3542]

I know it's difficult, Fi. I'm proud of you for taking this one step at a time! 💕