Fi’s Fight Back - appointment day, biscoff brownies and more pasta!

Started off very positively but ended up having a wobbly day. But that’s okay. I took a deep breath and kept on going.
Another two pasta dishes (literally) under my belt. Biscoff brownie. Easter brownie. Just… kept on going.
I am sorry for the sound and video issues. This video is from a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been battling with tech which is why they’re taking so long to post.
However that does put me in a good position in some ways, in that I can tell you that things DID get better after this video!
I am trying to catch up at the moment, so thank you for your patience and as always, Thankyou for the comments of support ❤️
(The fantastic recovery podcast Is called ‘recovery talks’!)
#edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #dayinthelife #eatingdisorderrecovery #inpatient #recovery #recoveryispossible #recovery #autism #autismawareness #actuallyautistic

[@icecream_andcookies]

It's just a matter of time Fi, don't let it get you down. Think of how proud you were after finishing the week strong! You can do it again 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@Finding_Fi]

I really hope so, thankyou so much my lovely! xxx

[@lisanancoff3462]

Don't get discouraged, Fi ! You're almost there ❤️

[@Finding_Fi]

I hope so, thankyou Lisa

[@kateflack9968]

You’ve done so well this last few weeks your so bloody strong you’ve got this 💪💪💪

[@Finding_Fi]

Thankyou so much Kate! xxx

[@cyndicrawford8998]

Your hardwork is showing and paying off. So proud of you!!!

[@Finding_Fi]

I really hope so! Thankyou Cyndi

[@annabellenoblepi6684]

I’m SO proud of you for getting through the hard day you had and I’m finding it amazing seeing fi slowly re-emerge as you get your shine back and personality. I feel SO confident you will be out of the chair soon and can’t wait for the moment! You deserve to live freely 🤩 keep fighting lovely, you are incredible x

[@Finding_Fi]

Thankyou so much Annabelle! It feels good slowly getting that Fi personality back! Despite the difficult moments, we are getting there! So much love

[@hannavandenheuvel6963]

You are so SO SO nearly there Fi, you will get out of the chair so so soon!!! And you are an absolute hero for pushing yourself so much and releasing challenges need to be repeated to break fears. Deep breaths girl. So proud of you xxxxxx

[@Finding_Fi]

Hanna, thankyou so much. You're right, it will happen. In time, maybe just a little more time than I had anticipated. Thankyou for always being there

[@lisadicosimo9033]

You have come so far! You are working towards your goals and that is awesome. Proud of you!

[@Finding_Fi]

Thankyou Lisa! xxx

[@prayer_tent]

So close to coming out of that chair!! Keep pushing through hon, it will happen!! This is all shaping you into really pushing through hard things and not to be deterred. You are doing amazing and we are cheering you on. Prayers and love

[@Finding_Fi]

I am so close! Thankyou so much lovely. I know all I can do is keep on trying and keep moving forward. Time will heal. Thankyou for always being so kind

[@traceyrock5376]

Hi Fi!! I haven't watched in a bit- life has been busy- but I just checked in with you and am so proud of how you are doing!! You look great and sound so positive! Keep it up girl!!@

[@Finding_Fi]

Oh Tracey, thankyou my love! I will keep on going! xxx

[@jackieedwards7691]

You are so strong Fi.. you are doing great. Deep breath you got this. Hugs and love.

[@Finding_Fi]

Thankyou Jackie

[@annabellenoblepi6684]

I loved your animal themed , so cute but also they really hit the spot x

[@nicolaoffert4006]

It's amazing that despite your day being so difficult and upsetting, you found the strength to push yourself to have pasta AND the Easter egg bar ! Sometimes I think when things are extra anxious and stressful, it makes you want to meet it head on and show it who's boss. Well done Fi ! 💕

[@Finding_Fi]

Thankyou so much Nicola! You're so right, it isn't about not having those tricky moments, but learning to respond differently to them. Thankyou

[@lorenspath6538]

Dont give up Fi. You are doing a great job and continue to be very inspiring to me. I love to see you, and i feel so bad to see you so upset. I can relate i have many days like that. Its going to work out for you. i have high hopes! Love,Loren

[@Finding_Fi]

Thankyou so much Loren. It was a tricky few moments but I know all I an do is keep moving forward. Lots of love xxx

[@janetsheart3139]

You did good girl!!! Keep pushing, you are doing great!

[@Finding_Fi]

Thankyou Janet! xxx

[@harmonyhope1709]

Sorry you didn't get out of the wheelchair this time. Good luck for your next appointment. Keep going and you WILL get there!!! Well done for turning things around quickly and not letting the disappointment derail you. Use it as motivation 💪❤️ congratulations on continuing with the pasta challenge xxx Love the rainbow 'kindness is my favourite colour' t shirt 🌈

[@Finding_Fi]

It was difficult to hear, but also made me realise I really just need to keep going with things to get my body in a better place! I really hope so. Thankyou so much for your kindness and support as ever

[@harmonyhope1709]

@@Finding_Fi aww bless you. Thank you once again for replying. Yes I know. It's frustrating when we are told no, but it's only in out best interests and all of these things will come eventually. We just need to keep going!! I think sometimes we don't realise how ill we have been and still are in real medical terms because in our minds we feel better than we did so want to do more. However it's better not to run by before we can walk so to speak. Take care of yourself lovely and stay focused on the bigger picture ❤️

[@akosuaarkoh-okyere2017]

You’ve got this Fi❤️♥️🌺🥰🙏🏿 I felt your discouragement and can totally relate. Just wanted to reach out and say thank you for being so vulnerable and honest!❤️ sending virtual comfort from the USA. I have been in my own challenges, similar to yours, but of course we are all unique in our journey.

[@Finding_Fi]

Thankyou so much Akosua! I'm sorry to hear you face similar struggles, it can be so difficult. We will get there though! Sending love from the UK

[@deniseanderson3835]

I’ve noticed such a difference in you Fi! You are very confident and even when you’re eating you are not nearly as hesitant as you were before. I’m so proud of you. Your struggles and your resilience helps me do much. We all are fighting something. Just keep going! Side note: I love the grenade bars, I really wish we could get the biscoff and chocolate ones in 🇨🇦, they look so good! Have a great week!

[@Finding_Fi]

Oh Denise! Thankyou so much. You're so right - I think it can be so easy to get caught up in everything that I forget how far I have come. Thankyou for reminding me

[@BuinidhMoChridheDoAlba]

I'm sorry you were disappointed, Fi. You will get through it and it WILL happen. You've got this, you're so incredibly strong.

[@Finding_Fi]

I really hope so. Thankyou Tasha

[@catherinemitchell3721]

Hi Fi💖 Well done for getting through all your challenges and then some.You are doing incredibly well. I'm so glad you didn't let the disappointment of the wheelchair completely derail your progress.Please acknowledge that that's progress in itself. I've been there, you handled it amazingly 😉 Thinking of you, and hoping you continue to be brave even when you're struggling. Be kind to yourself Fi 💓💟.

[@Finding_Fi]

Thankyou Catherine. You're so right - handling difficult news in a positive way is progress. Thankyou for reminding me and being so kind

[@donnalewis6323]

Hiya Fi lovely to see you! I find that if I have an appointment and I think it’s gonna go one way but it goes the other that blows my mind,with you with your wheelchair it’s down to someone else to decide what happens and sometimes that’s hard,you feel like you’re not in control and that can mess with your head a bit! You’ve made amazing progress and you continue to push yourself (not too much tho)you will get there and out of the wheelchair it’s gonna happen just a case of when! Keep your chin up sweetheart sending love to you 🥰🥰

[@Finding_Fi]

Hey Donna! I totally agree, I found it more difficult to deal with the fact that I was so certain it had gone much faster than I thought and the disappointment associated with that. Thankyou so much Donna, for always being so kind

[@kimunder1]

Keep going, kiddo!! 💜

[@Finding_Fi]

Thankyou Kim, I will! xxx

[@catherinemitchell3721]

Hi Fi💖 Well done for getting through all your challenges & then some.I understand your disappointment re-the chair

[@Finding_Fi]

Thankyou Catherine

[@hayleyrussell6601]

Oh my goodness, I actually haven't seen one of your videos for a little while- I think they probably just stopped being suggested for some reason😭 but the difference in you!! You are GLOWING xxx

[@Finding_Fi]

Aw Hayley! Thankyou so much my love! xxx

[@hayleyrussell6601]

@@Finding_Fi don't walk- RUN into your future... its ready and waiting for you xxx

[@foxyginger4700]

Despite how you are feeling you are doing great! Just think how close you are but how far you have come!

[@Finding_Fi]

Thankyou my love! A needed reminder

[@foxyginger4700]

@@Finding_Fi 😊 anytime, we all have set backs but it's just motivation to push harder. When the noise is too loud in your head have the fighting Fi become even lower and more fierce than ever! You've got this most definitely. My son kind of deals with the same thing with the loudness in his head and just finding that one thing to bring the noise down for him it's music and art. You doing great!

[@foxyginger4700]

Sorry it should say louder not lower

[@arthriticwarrior5291]

As an Australian, your koala socks are by far my fave pair that you have showed 😊

[@Finding_Fi]

Aww yay!!! I adore them! :)

[@alisonlaird6996]

You are doing so well even if you sometimes don’t see it. X

[@Finding_Fi]

Thankyou Alison

[@carolthomas3593]

Well done for sticking to your recovery plan after you disappointment. 👍🏻

[@Finding_Fi]

Thankyou Carol. It was tough but I know I need to keep going in the right direction!

[@Kladlze]

Well done not letting emotions drive your decisions!

[@Finding_Fi]

[@allisonhamilton1245]

As always proud of you. Little idea for you. This helped me after years of therapy and struggles. We all have an image in our minds as to what our lives will look like. Too often our path leads us differently. The image in our minds battles with our reality. Best solution... Take that image out of your head, frame it, hang it;(metaphorically) then live in reality". For those of us who battle the perceptions in our brains leaving those images is very important. I always thought I knew what others wanted from me when really it was my own brain voice lying to me. You will succeed Fi. We are here to support you

[@Finding_Fi]

Thankyou, as always, for your kind comment Allison. I really like this idea - it really removes the ED from me. Thankyou Allison xxx

[@allisonhamilton1245]

@@Finding_Fi forever in your corner. You've reached across an ocean and connected with me. I want to see you succeed and thrive. That is not additional pressure (I know it could seem that way). I will just happily keep supporting you. ❤️

[@gemmi1]

Hi Fi, I have a question. I know you don't normally reply to comments so maybe someone else can help me out? Fi a few weeks ago when you were unwell, did you have a tummy bug? My question is how does the meal plan work if you're physically unwell? My sister was in an ED inpatient unit, and a tummy bug went round. The staff was insisting the patients stuck to their meal plans, some staff actually thought they were pretending to have a bug to get out of eating. Only when several members of staff went down with it were the rules relaxed and bland food and drinks put in etc. I'm curious about others experience? Usual rule of thumb - no food until vomiting has stopped, bland food occasionally until you feel better. But in ED treatment, are you expected to keep eating a full meal plan? Anyway sorry long comment, just curious Fi as when you were poorly you were still eating, just wondered if you were able to keep it down etc.

[@Finding_Fi]

Hello my love, yes I did atch a tummy bug (really not nice!). It was very difficult to deal with because I knew how important it was to stick to my meal plan and not let the ED take over. It can be so difficult when there are factors outside of our control that impact our ability to eat. For me, we made sure I was still achieving my calorific goal for weight restoration but adapted the foods to bland foods. I ate more porridge, digestive biscuits and weetabix than I ever have done before! Generally, yes, you are expected to and should stick to the plan. Though it may be difficult, the ED will only use it as a catalyst to taking hold again. I hope you are okay, and your sister managed okay too

[@gemmi1]

@@Finding_Fi oh Fi thank you so much for replying! Very helpful. My sister is fully recovered x

[@mf-fb4bt]

Your moods swing. Remember. Life will be full of good and not so good. Release your emotions and learn to say "oh well" . And move ahead with whatever life offers. :)

[@Finding_Fi]

This is so true! Thankyou

[@susannahdouch7275]

You’re doing so amazingly well 👏👏👏 just wondered if they’d suggested drink supplements as well?

[@Finding_Fi]

Thankyou Susannah! I am desperately trying to avoid it. In the past it has been the way I've restored weight so rationally I know it is something to consider, but I want to keep trying with food as much as I can xxx

[@susannahdouch7275]

That makes sense. I’m sort of stuck on that issue at the moment so in awe of your progress and hard work. So great that you have your mum and dad to help and support xx

[@elizabethcardelli]

Hi Fi. I love your nails. Do you do them yourself?

[@Finding_Fi]

Thankyou Beth! Yes I do :)

[@tootsla1252]

Just curious: are you comfortable with telling us how your readiness for getting rid of the chair is determined? It’s obviously such a huge goal for you.

[@Finding_Fi]

It is dependent on my physical health. There are a factors that need to be attained for it to be safe for me to be able to walk more.

[@Natalia-sw8me]

❤️🤝👭

[@Finding_Fi]

[@hollyevansss]

What’s the name of the podcast?☺️

[@Finding_Fi]

Recovery talks with Amalie :)

[@dassydoodles]

Can you do a segment talking about body image and how it effects you

[@Finding_Fi]

Yes I had planned on doing so