'Fiancé Wants Prenup but Won't Sign Mine' -- Reddit Story

[@komma3366]

Divorce aside, prenups can also help with legal protection of assets in the event that a spouse dies. Often times without a prenup the remaining spouse has to fight the banks directly on top of grieving a partner.

[@xpurpletearsxbla]

but this also gives rights of claims to entitled MILs to take whatever the deceased owned. Prenup might give the MIL too much power, without a prenup in case of death, all goes to the spouce or children if no will is provided

[@camcam794]

Happened to one woman when her husband died of covid. It protected her

[@morganmcgown9234]

@@xpurpletearsxbla if you are writing a pre-nup you are probably writing a will so you would be able to decide who your assets would go to, e.g. Maybe to your kids instead of the new wife, etc.

[@MelaineT]

I never knew that tbh

[@fowlerpowerr]

Yup… that’s what’s happening to my mom rn. Wish my dad had something planned for his passing, but we are left dealing with the banks and jumping through hoops after his passing. We haven’t been able to mourn properly cause we’ve been so worried about making sure we keep everything he had in his name.

[@Emily-ck9ji]

"My money is mine, but so is all of yours" is not a great way to get your future husband to trust you. Lol. Postpone the wedding until everyone is on the same page. Her hypocrisy is ridiculous here and I wonder if she can see it. She already has it in her head that she isn't going to consider him "family", even after marriage. Sign both prenups or don't get married. Personally, I'd be debating whether or not I'd want to be in the relationship at all. He seems totally fine with signing as long as she does, too, and her refusal would make me second guess her intentions.

[@turtlelovw]

honestly so simple

[@silviasuppo6450]

Postpone the wedding? break up! why marring such a person! this man is so lucky, he realized her true face just in time!

[@Emily-ck9ji]

@@silviasuppo6450 Lol. I tend to comment first impressions of a story and edit as I listen through if my opinion changes. By the end I was thinking "get out, quick". Wow. That girl needs help. She sounded like she was preparing to walk away from the beginning.

[@Kaylz29]

Divorce can turn people into what you thought they’d never be. A pre nup, if you have things, is a great idea and should just be a sensible decision between two people who understand that with all the will in the world, things can go wrong

[@jessicaelle0988]

Exactly! You think you know a person but you'd be surprised what anger, resentment and money make to a person....

[@shannonburke5565]

The dudes prenup sounded fair. Your previous assets are yours but anything you earn with me COULD be fair game. Did I stop working to be a SAHM? Then I definitely deserve some of your earnings while married. She should sign his and I am sure he would have no issue signing hers

[@TheDecoCottage]

Yup! I’m a paralegal who drafts a lot of prenups. OP’s prenup was totally reasonable; I’ve drafted lots of prenups similar to that.

[@notaperson6646]

it kind of sounds like she plans to take everything and leave him penniless

[@paige7341]

I've also seen so many videos from lawyers recently about prenups protecting so many couples from medical debt which has really opened my eyes when comes to prenups

[@emmyjulianne6850]

I would INSIST that my partner signs a prenup BC of my medical debt. It’s extensive. I would feel SO BAD if he ended up being responsible for 1/2 of my debt when 1/2 is like $7,000

[@briannahatcher9422]

Good point. I'm going to need to look into this

[@daisyfaye3630]

Don’t marry her dude. Now I ain’t saying she a gold digger. But she ain’t messin with no broke …

[@BabyGirl-xo2vj]

There’s this lawyer on TikTok who’s gone over a couple scenarios of women signing prenups that actually protected her clients from financial ruins. I think one example was like her husband lost all his money and went bankrupt and it could of hurt her had she had not signed the prenup. I know I’m summarizing but yea

[@AngelVocal]

Oh pls find her name

[@k9doctor898]

17:47 Fun fact: Divorce went up because women were finally granted the ability to file for divorce without needing the husbands consent, those high numbers are just women stuck in cheating and/or abusive situations and finally can escape.

[@northernsupernova1]

80% of divorces (in Uk) initiated by women. The majority of the time it is because woman already has another man. Look at the statistics befoere claiming bullshit

[@TheDecoCottage]

As a paralegal to drafts a lot of prenups, the OP’s original suggested prenup was super reasonable. He wants his individual assets to remain his individual assets and any marital property to be fair game. I’m drafting one right now that states the husband’s ownership interest in his family’s vacation property remains his individual property; everything else is fair game.

[@dawnschoonover662]

I've heard a prenup described as a promise to give everything that you can while you love the person the most and trust that they want the best for you. I love you so much right now that I want you to get everything you deserve and what will make you happy even if something happens and I don't love you anymore. And I don't understand why more people don't get that.

[@gab1888]

because people don’t work like that, it would be lovely to live in word when everybody is perfect, nobody cheats, nobody falls out of love, nobody hurts the other person. My aunt divorced her husband because he became an alcoholic, spend all of their money on alco while they had little kid. He sued her for the apartment that was on her name but it was her fathers, she never had money to repay for half of a apartment. She bearly had money for her child and her exhusband wanted them to sell the apartment, make them homeless, just because he was hurt

[@dawnschoonover662]

@@gab1888 I feel like your example just proves why a prenup would be a good idea. To protect her assets from vindictiveness later on

[@julieboulet3693]

OMG the red flags! My husband and I actually don’t have a prenup, but we got married under French law which is completely different. Hearing this is so strange! In France, if you get married without a prenup, everything you owned before your marriage remains 100% yours, and any inheritance you get, even after your wedding, also is yours only. Basically, all you share with your spouse is income/investments/properties acquired after the marriage. If you die without a will, and you have no children, your spouse inherits your half of the common goods + everything you may have also had before or inherited!

[@animefangirl5271]

Waiiit im French and I didn’t even know that! Tysm for sharing this !!

[@tealablu3759]

Makes sense to me. Except if, God forbid, I die, my family might want some of my stuff back. Family, sentimental stuff

[@kendrashae3614]

I think his fiancé should definitely be more understanding about where he’s coming from since his last relationship and what happened to him already. He already had a wife take everything. He would obviously want to protect that in the future? It’s not crazy of him. It’s crazy to think he’d sign her prenup without her singing his?

[@phoebetripp4645]

I love these you guys should do like a couple updates on previous stories. Like looking through the stories you have gone over and see if there are updates.

[@hiruki8]

Generally they will post if there's an update. Edit:my brain substituted prenup for update

[@thatonedog819]

I remember in one of my classes, my sexuality and relationships I think, said that love isn't a feeling. It's a choice. And people change and grow over time. Sometimes they grow apart and you make the decision not to love anymore. But really,most divorce lawyers and relationship experts say the signs for a healthy relationship isn't love or communication, it's respect. And I'm not seeing respect from the woman here. Also, in the 70s, women could finally divorce without the consent of her husband. That's why there's such a spike.

[@cindyfroese245]

Pre-nups are a must. I won’t get married if the man I am marrying won’t sign one. It’s not that I am super well off, but I am a parent and I have to make sure I have something for my daughter just in case. Plus I have student debt and wouldn’t wanna burden a partner with that 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@TaraGruette]

💯

[@tealablu3759]

Actually though…. my bf just got divorced, and he took on all of the debt besides her student loans. I couldn’t imagine. My student debt isn’t that bad, but I still couldn’t imagine him taking it on. Or anyone else for that matter.

[@redram5150]

"I would never take that from you" You say that right now when you like him. Divorce can bring out the worst in people. Normally easy going people become spiteful and vindictive. Promises made with the deepest intent become ignored in a heartbeat.

[@dawnb8123]

As a stupid person, may I suggest you/everyone protect yourselves. Good intentions aren't legally binding.

[@quinifer3622]

I would definitely rethink this relationship in it's entirety.

[@lais.v.m]

I absolutely love prenups; I always say to anyone who’s still on the fence/considering it or doesn’t like it at all: if the person loves you and is the minimum amount of realistic, they should and will want to get a prenup (regardless of who’s making more or less money). a prenup recognizes that, although obviously divorce is not the endgoal of marriage, it is a possibility and ANYONE who truly loves you would want you to be protected if you were to split up.

[@recklessoldier]

Also if you trust your partner and your relationship and believe that you're never gonna divorce anyway, just sign it and you won't need it !! What's the problem with it then ?

[@JB-qf5ep]

People so often forget that marriage is a legal agreement and with that comes certain financial responsibilities. It makes much more sense to me to work out those details while we are at our best so that it minimises any potential ugliness down the line. You never really know a person until they don't get what they want.

[@accio_firewhiskey8256]

"my money is mine but so is all of yours" ah yes very healthy way to start a marriage.

[@velmamay7658]

Here’s the thing. I get the thought of you thinking your partner doesn’t trust you, but even if they do. Then you like have a really rocky divorce over something really bad. Even if you promised not to take something from them, that doesn’t mean you’ll break that promise cause of the situation. Your friends might even egg you on because ‘they deserve it.’ Then because you’re so hurt, you don’t feel bad about breaking that promise.

[@nyaradhiambo]

She's totally the type to after all his property. He has a type

[@shootingcomet082]

The way I see it, the couple who says "we'd never do that to each other." is speaking from a place where they both love each other. If you're getting a divorce, it's typically because, for at least one of you, that feeling of love is gone. You can not accurately speak to what you would do from a position where you feel differently about your partner.

[@kevincrosby5991]

She’s shady af. She’d sign or I’d leave.

[@KE-hr4sb]

"The person you marry is not the same person you divorce" is sadly true in too many cases. In my case, it was partially that I married young and didn't know at the time what certain red flags even were. But my ex definitely tried to screw me over in every way that he possibly could just to hurt me, and the ONLY reason he didn't succeed was my badass lawyer got so pissed at his dirty tricks, she gave me the same divorce terms she wrote for herself.

[@teenelf]

He should run. This is a massive red flag. What's mine is mine and what's yours is also mine? GTFO

[@Koleys]

Someone that gets defensive over a prenup are the exact people you need a prenup for.

[@venecianita5013]

Prenups are like life insurance, you don't wanna think about the possibility of needing it but doesn't mean nothing will ever happen. I don't think anyone gets married with the idea of getting divorced, yet it still happens, I think prenups are a realistic way to prevent potential problems down the hypothetical line. Because if your marriage is strong enough, you'll never need it and if you do, that means your marriage wasn't gonna last in the first place so it's a good thing you protected yourself.

[@annikamerz]

you know what, everything he wanted is basically german law. You keep what you had before you wed someone and everything after is shared earnings.

[@emmyjulianne6850]

Your understanding of inheritance is correct. I’m not a professional, but I did graduate from the paralegal studies program and had to take a family law and contract law classes. As well as like, every other law lol. Disclaimer: I’m in Ohio, so I know the Ohio law (and pretty well).

[@TheDecoCottage]

WI law is very similar. As long as you don’t co-mingle the inheritance with community property, it’s considered individual property. I’m a paralegal who drafts a lot of prenups (we do estate planning and probate though, not family law, but prenups can be a part of estate planning).

[@SheyDeCo]

In the War of the Roses questionnaire you mentioned I wonder how many people would end up sending the roses to their mom

[@poppyseed5270]

Anfisa was legitimately my favourite cast member on 90DF ever. Such an icon

[@anishaannurary8185]

Who is the other couple they are talking about though?

[@wendynecaise2499]

I think women are trained to be wary of the idea of a prenup because there's the idea that you're being accused of being a gold digger and, also, that your partner is trying to get out of taking care of his obligations when most women realize that, by having children, they're slowing down their career progression and putting their future earnings at risk.

[@taylorolson8025]

war of the roses!!!!!! my mom and i used to listen to this all the time when she drove me to high school brings back so many memories lol

[@rebeccalewis6343]

The Bert Show also does it! They’re on KZbin as well and are so funny

[@mindyshowing1414]

…. he should not marry her 🚩🚩🚩🚩

[@loud_hailer6240]

Anfisa got wronged so bad. Im so glad she has kept her studies, worked hard in body building, and lives within her means.

[@tealablu3759]

Uhhhhhhhh……… she was a bit cray cray

[@loud_hailer6240]

​ @Tea laBlu Yea, she was. She was also lied to by the guy who brought her to a new country. She has said she did play up her "Russian B!tch" character in her 90DF solo interviews. It made for a good show. Its so sad that years after the show pewdiepie watched her episodes, completely out of order and without context, and that obviously made her out to look worse. She got a lot of hate for that too. She likes the attention like all the "reality tv" people. But has been working on her life off camera, that is respectable and commendable.

[@shhd2105]

She said what's yours is mine a d what's mine is mines.🙄

[@taylorolson8025]

i just need to let you know how much i love this podcast, i’m from oakdale mn and currently living in kansas - it makes me feel so at home listening to you!!

[@TwoHotTakes]

Awhhh 🥺 so happy you found us

[@MelaineT]

I think EVERYONE who gets married should have a prenup even if you think or know you’ll be together until you’re 90 in a home. It just protects both parties if something god forbid would happen

[@soya9287]

I'm only about halfway through the vid, but it sounded to me like she's the one who refused coz she sees the possibility of divorce, not the other way round. if she was so confident that nothing will ever happen, she could simply sign it and it wont matter if they truly age together till death do them part or whatever. it sounded like she wanted to be able to fight for his money if they got divorced and so she refused just in case, and then when she suddenly 'became rich' now she's like nah I want to protect my property?? especially since they BOTH got divorced before so i dont get why she wasnt understanding when he asked to do the thing

[@beultra3083]

My brother asked me if he should get a prenup before he got married and I just started laughing and said "What for? Your 2009 Honda Accord?" I agree that spouses contributions are sometimes underrated. My father makes most of the money in my family, but my mom did most of the childcare and other life stuff that allowed him to focus more on his career. He makes quite a bit, but wouldn't have as much if my mom hadn't handled all the savings and investments.

[@MarniCollier]

I never understood the "you don't trust me argument" like if you wouldnt even think about screwing over your ex then signing shouldn't be a big deal

[@Shawn-rq4py]

Money changes people. Seen it too many times. Then when it comes to divorce it also changes people. No matter the cause of divorce some people become vindictive and hateful for no reason.

[@thesunnyleo]

Don’t get married. Simple. Edit: my boyfriend and I have been together 4 1/2 years. We have children. We were engaged at one point but now neither of us have the desire. We wear rings but that’s the closest to marriage we’re getting.

[@msgabrille5620]

Some people have to. IE I’m in the military and to join I had to be married or lose custody of my son. Granted my boyfriend and I wanted to get married but never really got around to it. Glad we did. My husband has a serious health condition and is being married make it so much easier. If my husband needed a surgery I can give permission and not have to wait and hope his parents agree.

[@RealToWonder]

either both get signed or neither get signed. that's it.

[@michellerichardson3090]

If you're going marry someone who has been divorced, do not give that "you're preparing for a divorce" line. They've been through the "what if". Either sign it or move on

[@curlymom08]

reading between the lines, there could be a horrible clause in his prenup. remember she didn’t want it before grandma’s money.

[@katwelch3042]

I like a prenup including something regarding additional payment if there is cheating in the relationship.

[@MelAfile225]

I would call it off. Someone who can't see how selfish this is and DARE to be mad that you're not okay with that is very manipulative and very not emotionnally intelligent. This will happen in other situations. Marriage or not, these are the signs we ignore and end up being the reason the relationships ends.

[@MarniCollier]

I think prenups should be automatic honestly

[@aimeea5528]

If a prenup is preparing for divorce then don’t have a will because that is preparing for death. There is no logic there. Prenups are smart and fair. Having a prenup is protection in the event of a divorce which may never happen. I just sold my rental property that I owned with my parents, I would have 100% protected it with a prenup, if we still had it. As I would expect a future husband to want to protect his assets too.

[@katiejohnson86]

If I was him I’d say sign both prenups or wedding is off

[@thesunnyleo]

I think divorce rates are down because no wants to pay for one. Out of my 3 best friend’s 2 are married and separated. Refusing to divorce because they want their husbands to pay for the divorce.

[@msgabrille5620]

Idk I paid $150 for my divorce from my ex husband. Did it all online and did t have to go to court. So easy.

[@lorenaamade8211]

Pre nups can also help protect in other situations, a friend of my dad worked for a company and was their legal representative. So when the company went bankrupt, he started to loose everything in name of this company, his house, his car, other properties, even his parents' house, and he was also going to jail. His wife had to divorce him in order to protect their daughter. It was a really messy situation. A pre nup would protect their house and other stuff. I'm not from the states and english isn'y my first language so excuse me if something doesn't make sense.

[@marinannaxo-7121]

Only one choice; do not get married with this woman.

[@hollyholfeld]

My husband and I don't have a prenup. A few reasons: 1. When we decided to get married, we also decided beforehand that divorce is not an option. It's just not a thing in our minds. 2. Neither of us had anything before getting married so everything we have now we built together. In this situation though I totally get it. He has stuff he wants protected and so does she. She's the @$$hole for not signing his.

[@msgabrille5620]

It also helps if your husband or you ever die. It’s not always about divorce. I would suggest getting a power of attorney just incase. I leaned the hard way. It’s worth the hard/sad talk.

[@nikkilovepunk]

I have a family farm and my dad/uncles made it a requirement in our contracts for buy out that we have prenuptial agreements made with our partners. I am super lucky to have a fiancé who saw nothing wrong with it he comes from a badly broken home background. Although neither one of us thinks we will ever need it we didn’t see the harm in having one just incase so we added personal assets into as well not just business ones.

[@jennt5307]

His prenup sounds completely reasonable, why should she potentially have access to assets from before they were together. Yikes.

[@accio_firewhiskey8256]

Frankly, I don't give one if it hurts her feelings, it's a damn prenup not a personal attack, is he really naive enough to just let this go? There's no damn way that marriage would work out and there's no damn way she wouldn't take his stuff.

[@turtlelovw]

its a legal protection when you have assets. if not the state divides it for you

[@gracieloufreebush4899]

you should know after mark Anthony and A-rod, let´s hope ben is the one for you

[@turtlelovw]

@@gracieloufreebush4899 😂

[@jadlad9666]

a marriage is a partnership, right? so having conversations about assets, whether or not a pre-nup is involved, is really important--sometimes relationships end and marriages don't always work out, it happens! having these difficult conversations beforehand can help you dodge a bullet or help keep things civil during a divorce or separation

[@NiamhLMac]

There's no such thing as a prenup in Ireland.. what a great thing to have

[@reneeprice8459]

Honestly they can either be under the states prenup, or their own. I think both need to sign both.

[@BeeeccaaaMaaariiieee]

So basically to her "whats yours is mine what's mine is mine" yikes

[@NotimetoVero]

“I would never take his grandfathers land, and I also have heritage properties” bro being Caucasian is wild. So many of you guys have whole estates and farms just for being born. Werk. It’s just that I know multiple people who are expecting homes or land as inheritance when their grandparents and parents die, now I’m seeing it on my screen- and I’m also seeing a pattern in the type of people who have this privilege.

[@carlie12B]

Everyone should get a prenup. They need to have a conversation on what their marriage is going to be like. But also they have to disclose depbt. Imagine marrying someone and finding out you married into a shit ton of dept.

[@dianalaura3789]

See if I was him that would have left a bitter taste in my mouth. I see her entitlement and I don't like it. If you do love each other deeply then why can't you sign the prenup that's reasonable to both of you.

[@0-0_kyh16]

I’m for a prenup it seems like a good way to ensure that a divorce can be clean and easy on both sides

[@candyoagles1263]

If your assets are large and your spouse has no ill intentions, there isn’t a reason to deny the prenup, but don’t be a jerk to leave your spouse nothing if you do split

[@yothiga]

The laws in my country is actually similar to this prenups. Asset before marriage belongs to original owners and assets after marriage should divide 50/50. Sound fair to me.

[@soccersinger101]

I've heard that Rose thing! It's called Rose Wars or something, a station I used to listen to did that. Idk how real it might be, but S-P-I-C-Y

[@momedusa]

It kills me that y’all think Dr Dre is famous from the beats headphones 😆

[@TwoHotTakes]

I know that’s not why he’s famous 😂 but beats sold for 3 billion and made up a large part of his network

[@charmarie9561]

I say whatever you make you can, no one gets anything they didn’t make or come with in the first place.

[@melanieluft4955]

They ended up getting married. He wrote another post about something else and mentioned they were married

[@neza1337]

did they end up signing the prenup?

[@Luceroluna_3]

As someone that couldn't get any financial aid and had to pay out of pocket and got scholarships due to my high grades, I went to a public college (less than 4k per semester), I will never understand how people get into student loans. I left school debt-free because of my decisions and hold on to the same jobs as those who came out of Havard or Columbia. I want to understand the mindset of someone who got tricked into them. I've never been able to see it. Not judging, it's just hard for me to understand. I think it's the belief of the "dream" college that is sold to people. In the end it doesn't really matter the school you go to.

[@Beeboidani]

I was literally just talking to my SO about the war of the roses thing bc an episode of Lucifer did the same thing and it also reminded me of it😂

[@shannonbrophy3687]

If marriage isn't thought of as permanent, one would quickly divorce as soon as a serious issue arises. Marriage is supposed to be for life and shouldn't be thought of as a temporary agreement.

[@merykhan97]

His idea of pre-nup is actually the law in most parts of the world...

[@BlessingAMusic]

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩RUN. RUN. RUN.

[@maggiemccormick6088]

Icky and red flags on her part. Like ok prenups are something I used to be against but now it’s so important. But this is weird and goldiger ish. She should be fine too especially when he agrees to her prenup conditions but now she can’t except his? Like she got a good deal she won’t be poor if they divorce. Plus he has every right to be scared because he had experience in the past about losing so much.

[@TheAlicia149]

For me, not wanting a prenup is a red flag 🚩 If you do not have bad intention, you do not have any issue with signing a prenup which is fair.

[@DaniK0903]

Divorce rates are down because the rate of marriage has gone down

[@zazdut2536]

You can also get post nup agreements.

[@jenniferlopez602]

I love your podcasts!!

[@talikatz3287]

divorce rates are actually pretty low. if you get married you are pretty likely to stay together. what drives it up is that if you do get divorced you are more likely to get divorced again.

[@seosarang]

At this point they shouldn't have gotten married

[@thesenutz777]

I love the intro music !

[@miguelv2588]

War of the roses is also in AZ lmao

[@Khanji743]

These two chicks will do exactly the same as fiance did , if you put them on her shoes. 😂😂😂

[@madiegreer7641]

I think the family comment about the grandma’s money being the family’s money probably means others in the family are tacitly entitled to the money but the responsibility and rights are left to the granddaughter for distribution to the rest of the family. Basically, it was not the grandmothers wishes for the money to go to this fiancé or even all to the granddaughter ultimately, just that she was given the responsibility. I still think both people getting a prenup is in order but the $800,000 is not for the fiancé at all.

[@Es9954]

I am going to make a prenup in the case we marry a non-negotiable term of my relationship

[@Shahdae2001]

People become bitter during divorce. Honestly I think a prenup is not an issue.

[@cfamillytravelgroup3318]

Bequests are not subject to divorce asset division anyways.

[@_xMx_]

Juliana said, "Men's don't control me." She and Michael split up, too.

[@ludmilamaiolini6811]

I didn’t know they had split up (though I’m not surprised). Do you know what happened?

[@_xMx_]

@@ludmilamaiolini6811 He was hit hard by Covid and she was the only person working. I know she put something out on social media.

[@katiethomas8852]

Pre nups maintain civility for the unforeseeable events or business failure. Pre nups are deal breakers

[@clarabarbosahernandez6282]

Very ignorant stance on 90 day fiancé

[@chelseywickham650]

I’m wondering why she feels that way. All I can think of, is he cheated on a previous spouse. Definitely brings up a trust issue.

[@yvettebellar7846]

That radio show sounds similar to my moms Spanish radio show excluding the legal side that does that but with chocolates