Fiance Is Angry I Put My Sisters Health Over His Family r/Relationships

[@kaykay8855]

Why do people say ‘You will never find another man/woman like me.’ Like dude, I’m breaking up with you because I don’t want to be with someone like you.

[@stellamccoy5259]

You are right. I can and will find better.

[@teddennison344]

Lol. I should hope not. Your lips to God's ears dude.

[@DemonAngel]

​@@teddennison344 I haven't heard that one in forever, damn

[@ebonynaomi1085]

So true😂

[@carlrood4457]

Because they can't think of anything logical to say.

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Maybe I’m a sadist but it does feel like cruel irony that the abusive dad turned his son into a misogynist, only for his son to turn that anger and violence back on him. They both sound like angry, empty people who blame everyone else for their own actions.

[@GuiltlessStudios]

It does feel like karma~

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I don't think that's you being sadistic. This is a classic case of karma doing its work. He chose to idolize his father and now he's lost everything.

[@13thMaiden]

You're not sadistic, that's 'Schadenfreude.' Deriving pleasure from his misfortune. Which he totally deserved.

[@strawberrysangria1474]

This is the most justified schadenfreude you'll ever hear of!

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@GuiltlessStudios It doesn't just feel like karma. It IS karma. And it couldn't have come too soon honestly.

[@heathermiller5765]

*Story 1* : Ironically it was his family that was more understanding. What a prick 🤨

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yeah. You know you dodged a bullet when even the family of your ex agree with you.

[@MatildeVallespinCasas]

Of course, because they are not monsters with the ego the size Empire State Building

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Dude was doing a Destroy All Your Relationships Speedrun (100%) challenge. He lost his fiancé, his mom and brother, his friends, and even his relationship with his dear old dad is on the rocks though that’s a good thing.

[@nekorei2023]

Bro was playing "Life Mission (D.A.Y.R version)

[@KCohere33]

One rarely sees someone so determined to wreck their own life. Why he thinks his awful father is someone to aspire to, I can’t imagine.

[@aubreymorgan9763]

and yet never once did he stop to think...maybe I'm the problem

[@MrJpaynebb]

​@@KCohere33it's the brother, who is older, and mom that really remember how the father/husband actually was when they were together as a family. Rob has vague memories and as the youngest didn't get to endure dad's toxic behavior like brother and mom. He's always missed his daddy and wanted to earn his love. All it cost him was a fiance, his friends, brother and mom and I the end he still didn't get daddy's love or approval. He did get some criminal charges though.

[@BersealiaDreamheart]

Only way to teach an idiot. Let them keep winning stupid prizes as long as they keep playing stupid games.

[@CGossRunnn]

Roger's Father: here's how to ruin your life Roger: Challenge Accepted

[@terricox3559]

Guessing you mean Rob?

[@CGossRunnn]

@terricox3559 whatever his name was

[@joy4210]

he was so insignificant you didn’t even bother remembering his name 😂😂😂😂 love that

[@terickastidbits2342]

@@joy4210😂😂😂

[@jancatperson8329]

Rob is probably one of those toxic people who will spend the rest of his life blaming everyone else for his problems. Like his dad.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

You know what they say, like father like son.

[@ZombieSazza]

He legit sounds like my bio brother who I’ve been strictly No-Contact with for about 8 years now, just a consistent cycle of BS, aggression and abuse and always blaming the world whilst refusing to look at his behaviour and how he affects everyone around him. Rob could see the one common denominator in every problem was him alone and still somehow couldn’t see that he was the issue.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

​@@ZombieSazza You know, people like that make me wonder if they are narcissists or at least have narcissistic tendencies.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Rob truly had a FAFO. His dad is his role model, but his dad doesn't give an F if he's even homeless. He doesn't need a room. He can sleep on a couch. Beggars can't be choosers. He had one job at Zach and Nat's house. The nerve of him to be misogynistic to the host of the house. The dad is single and friendless. Again what a stupid role model 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

[@ComaLies225]

Yea that’s what I don’t get. Rob still continued to see his dad despite daddy not even helping him out. He’s a sucker I don’t feel bad for

[@WhitneyDahlin]

​@@ComaLies225 yeah I don't feel bad after his behavior! He abandoned and betrayed his own mother and brother too. Some people have to learn the hard way. But some people never learn

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

​@@ComaLies225 Yeah. I've always felt sorry for children who grew up in abusive homes, even if it wasn't directed at them. But I lose my sympathy for them, THE MOMENT they act like their abusive parents and start hurting people.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

​@@WhitneyDahlin Sadly, you're right. There are people who are just too far gone and all the rest of us can do is stay away from them.

[@ScooterBond1970]

Dude got majorly red pilled.

[@TessuDraws]

It's sad how refreshing it is to see the ex's family be on OP's side and not excuse the ex's behavior in any way, shape or form.

[@toxicginger9936]

That abusive dad was playing a diabolical long game against his ex-wife. She and the elder son protected Rob from the abuse, so as soon as Rob stepped back in his life, he spent two years turning Rob into him. And then refused him when his poison worked. Like a new F-U to the ex-wife. Turn her son into a raging misogynist that will blow up his good life and then stand back and watch it all burn. Dad is probably at home laughing about. Was Rob acting like this to get his father's approval? Quite possibly. And his dad weaponized that child-like desire for his approval against him and his ex-wife. Why do I think this is so much about the dad's desire to hurt his ex-wife? Because this is how my dad acted. Us kids were nothing but canon-fodder in his misogynistic desire to hurt her. All the better if he screwed up our lives, as it hurt mom even more than directly hurting her.

[@BonazaiGirl]

I would’ve thought that if Rob was younger, but I don’t think the toxic dad was in for the long-con on this; it’d be a bit too contrived. Especially given that, in the end, he needs surgery for a hip and sustained a head injury. While I do think he was purposefully morphing his son to be more like him, I sincerely think he was doing it just because he was a narcissist who wanted his son to have his mindset. After all, the son only wound up becoming a loser like his father.

[@elizabethescalante8114]

​​@@BonazaiGirl I think that's EXACTLY what the creep did. You may not think that someone can be THAT petty, vengeful or hateful, but they can. They REALLY can. And I got that impression from this post.

[@Zminator1986]

Sounds like the plan worked until his f-up of a son put him in the hospital.

[@jerriewyatt905]

It’s sad, but thankfully Rob’s true self came out before they married..

[@CouncilEstateRach]

@jerriewyatt905 I was scrolling for this comment, phew she had a very lucky escape and could've married the dude.!!!! What a close shave. So so close. Makes me shudder just to think if her sister hadn't have gotten ill she would have got married and THEN found out..... even had children...and then found out.... makes my blood run cold just thinking about it.

[@ecologytoday]

@@CouncilEstateRach I am really hoping that the OP gets some counselling to recognize red flag behaviour for future relationships. That BF was hiding a lot for years and being able to see similarities would be a good thing for her.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yeah. It's very lucky OP discovered Rob's true, ugly colors before she got married to him. Although it sucks that she lost a good family in law minus the Just No Father in law.

[@nekorei2023]

First story: what the hell is wrong with him? Her sister could have went blind & im glad she broke up with him.

[@MinkxiTes]

Maybe he doesn't like that Kim is queer?

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Yea. Who leaves their family member alone in a hospital right before surgery just to attend some dinner.🤦 Insanity.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

​@@Nathan_Bookwurm I know right? Did he really expect OP to just abandon her poor sister in her hour of need? ಠ⁠︵⁠ಠ

[@lindah3803]

​@@PrincessQ-fj9lyYes,he did. They were going to be married. Which automatically means OP is to cater to him and his family. She's to leave her family behind. She can only do things with her family if he says she can. I think OP forgot to mention that she was living in the 1800s.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

​@@lindah3803 Your sarcasm is hilarious. 😂 Lol

[@wendyduwe3995]

She had a lucky escape from this guy. She is really blessed with the family and good friends that she has.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yep. She sure is. And I think Kim inadvertently saved OP, her sister from marrying such a selfish A-hole. She's the unsung hero of this story. ❤ One of the best things to come out of different times is that you can get to see who's truly there for you. 😊

[@JW-vd4il]

​@@PrincessQ-fj9ly That's a good point! By the end of this SAGA I had kind of forgotten it all started with him just being weirdly wrong about her staying with her sister. That alone, of course, would be reason enough to dump someone if they didn't see the error of their thinking. But wow the way this guy doubled-down at every turn, even when all his family and friends were telling him he's wrong! It was oddly impressive. 😂 I too am just glad she found out and had support getting away before she was in deeper. Yay, great step-Dads! (I had one, too.) Loved HIS mother and brother doing right by her over their dumba$$ son/brother! I also couldn't get over how he acted when staying at his friend's place. You don't need to be TOLD not to bring a hook-up back to your friend's place with little kids, and still he WAS explicitly told not to do that, and STILL he did it! In one way it was satisfying to find out he succumbed to the bad influence of his dumb father. But, especially when he had so many nice & helpful people around him, I still want to know from guys who thought like this but we're able to turn it around, *WHAT were you THINKING, then?!* I'm GenX and it makes me really sad too see so many young men going this way, these days. Things were getting BETTER when I was a young woman! Of course there were always some creeps and weirdos and outright psychos, but generally most men I knew were nice and respectful. And even the ones who longed for barefoot and pregnant days knew to keep their mouths shut about it 😁 -- it wouldn't fly with most women AND men in my circles! well, I did go on but I really got carried away with more thoughts as I was writing. 😂 Here's to the good ones and stay safe, everybody -- EVERYBODY (I know there's cray-cray women, too)! 🍻❤🙂

[@HectoGames]

Bruh according to this guys logic, my apartment complex should pay me back all the bills i ever paid when i move out.. because i should be entitled to just get the apartment?

[@rachelryan84]

Not just rent, cable, electric, food.

[@ecologytoday]

It was my understanding that he only paid for some utilities, food and extras and not actual housing ( ie rent/mortgage).

[@18Hongo]

​@@ecologytoday I think he was only paying for the TV sports package... which only he used anyway.

[@poohbear4515]

Dude dug his own grave when he continued to stay in contact with the waste of oxygen he calls “dad”. It’s sad that he was brainwashed, but he was very old enough to know how majorly wrong it was to believe everything ‘it’ spat out after everything ‘it’ did… Even in jail, Rob would still probably never change if he gets out. I’m glad OP’s sister is still doing okay.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Sadly, you're right. Rob is too far gone and he's become just like the monster he calls his dad.

[@invisigoth510]

Man, I never expected further updates to this story I think Rob’s going to prison It’s almost laughable that the man who helped him ruin his life doesn’t want anything to do with him. He be kissed up to daddy dearest only to have daddy reject him after daddy’s advice blew up his life As to the friends who kept telling OP to let him stay with her-I have discovered I have no issues bringing the AH-“I already threw him out once. I’m not putting myself in a position where I have to have him removed again. But since you’re so quick to volunteer others to do what you want, I’ll let him know you’re willing to put him up on your sofa”

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

“He is talking about moving to be near his brother to get away from their dad so maybe he has seen the light.” See the thing is he doesn’t _have_ to move to be near his brother’s to stop seeing his dad, he can just stop seeing his dad, there’s nothing stopping him. I doubt dad is gonna be chasing after Rob for a relationship so all Rob has to do is not go to him, it’s that simple. I’m thinking that he’s just trying to weasel his way into his brother’s for housing, though I might be overreacting. Could be that he just wants a support system nearby. Either way, time will only tell if he’s actually genuine in cutting off the toxic influence from his dad.

[@aurawilming6047]

Well, if we're speculating, I would say what is happening is this Rob is a low-confidence man, who is probably more effeminate than he lets on and hates himself for it. I think he's in the soy-boy closet. Notice how OOP keeps mentioning how he's not a fighter? And his mate was a boxer? And then he starts to fall for the man-is-the-ruler-of-the-household shit his dad spouts....This guy is trying to surround himself with macho men in order to become, or at least be seen as, more manly.

[@RequiemPoete]

True but if he stays the ONLY contact he'll have is with his dad, so moving away will force him to build other connections.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

​@@RequiemPoete I doubt the dad will want him around! Rob put him in the hospital! Dad's going to have permanent affects from that broken hip. So Rob doesn't have a relationship with his dad anymore now either. So he isn't going to have contact just because the dad didn't care about keeping in contact before and he will want no contact from his son now. AND he will most likely demand and be awarded for any bills the father has from missing work to recovery. Or maybe just compensation for a permanent life altering injury. Rob deserves all of this. I hope he has learned his lesson and changes. But he might never learn

[@MatildeVallespinCasas]

​@@WhitneyDahlinI feel the father never wanted a real relationship with him, just to get back to his ex and the family with her

[@carlrood4457]

It's weird how mom and brother are rational and reasonable people, but OPs BF is psycho.

[@myounakami]

I'd say it's due to the mother and older brother taking the brunt of the father's abuse; they protected Rob for the most part, so he's probably living under the assumption that his father 'wasn't that bad' since his dad never got the chance to physically abuse him.

[@MatildeVallespinCasas]

​@@myounakamiGod knows what his father told him, taking advantage of his lack of recollection from the facts

[@n.g.l.]

OP’s friends: Dismissive and don’t care about her safety OP: I can’t get rid of them because it’ll cause drama US: BUT OP THEY TRIED TO CONVINCE YOU TO WELCOME DRAMA INTO YOUR LIFE!

[@mythogenesis4788]

I don’t think the friends were being malicious but instead ignorant if the change in Rob was really that sudden. Even OP admits she didn’t see it coming after seven years together because it was so drastic. If I were her, I’d have sent them all the footage of him aggressively yelling at her from her doorstep and all of anyone wanted that man around their families.

[@n.g.l.]

@mythogenesis4788 OP should be putting more time into being safe than validating the thoughts of others.

[@BlankPageEmperor1334]

Glad someone else brought this up because I was thinking about her comments here. A friend group that enables and excuses abusive behavior is not a friend group to stay in. Sounds like her ex's friends are better than her own, based upon how many actually kicked him to the curb once they realized what living with him was like.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

​@@mythogenesis4788 I agree with you. OP should show her friends the footage of her ex being a nasty, selfish A-hole. It might cause them all to realize that she was right to keep her ex away. If they retain their feelings or disregard the evidence, THEN OP should ditch the friends.

[@AngelaVEdwards]

Her sister was at huge risk of LOSING HER EYE. That is worlds more important than some family dinner. Fiancé is a a hole.

[@CareyBilley]

OP's fiance is trying to isolate OP from her family, get out now because this is a huge red flag.

[@terramarini6880]

Clumsiest, failed attempt seen so far. What a blundering idiot, so far up his own ( . ), he can't see what he's stumbling into.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Don't worry. OP was quick to ditch him. And good for her for doing so.

[@thebladeofchaos]

This guy saw his old man, tired, alone, poor, just.....a miserable mess, and decided 'I want to be like that'. I can understand wanting the validation of your parents, and I can understand it....but at the point his old man went 'I'm not housing a grown man', why didn't he reconsider anything? 'my old man is great, he's my hero' 'my hero is leaving me on the street' and even after he lost EVERYTHING, he still went out for a drink with him. He knew what he was doing. there's no way in hell he didn't, he's a grown adult after all. 28 was it? 29 at the end? and back in contact with his old man at 26. that's a full adult there. in 2 years he was twisted. that says less about the old man and more about him. I can't say people don't change that fast because hey, look at the States right now, people went from closeted racists and bigots to wanting to see anything not racist and bigoted burnt to the ground, but to go from 'I love my partner' to 'FALL IN LINE WITH WHAT I WANT!' is just him showing who he really is.

[@Nicholem718-1]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽THIS☝🏽

[@RequiemPoete]

As far as his dad it's called The Sunken Cost Fallacy. Generally there comes a point that it no longer is positive in "sinking" resources into something. ( like repair costs for a paid off but old car.) However, emotionally, we see everything we put into that something and think, "It was all for nothing. I can't have NOTHING to show for all that effort." So you keep putting resources into that thing as it bleeds you dry. And as far as that being the true Rob, yes and no. People are like gardens. We grow into what is nurtured. Rob was described as selfish. In a genuine and loving environment, that aspect might just grow into him treating himself to a luxury occasionally such as a video game or deciding to do a guy's night without op. Minor selfish behavior that's okay. But by going to his dad that selfishness overtook him and his garden basically become overrun with thorns and brambles.

[@BlankPageEmperor1334]

Hard agree. I have no sympathy for him, especially as a grown man blaming his dad (who apparently hates other men even more than he hates women lmao) who HE reached out to. Parody of a person. I don't like saying that someone might /deserve/ to be homeless, but he's sure trying to be!

[@MatildeVallespinCasas]

​@@RequiemPoeteexactly, it's the sunk cost fallacy. He has no friends, fiancée, family or home. Just a grumpy old man who was ready to kick him out

[@AndyyWithAY]

This is quite an old one. This was a genuine medical emergency vs a stupid dinner. It was all the ex too. His family was supportive and lovely. Why should one family come before the other? Esp in an emergency with permanent consequences

[@alsinakiria]

He drank his dad's coolaid. His family matters more because he is a man and therefore an actual person. The family of a woman does not matter because she is just a blow up doll that should spend her time not in bed devoted to his existence.

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

So what if it’s old to you? Comes off very entitled and whiny 😂

[@CaitlinKelly-mo1ld]

​@ZombieQueeen way to judge a stranger by imposing tone to text... I'm familiar with part of it too, but now it's got updates... calm down 😅

[@rochie4865]

​@@ZomBeeQueeenyou know what sounds entitled and whiny? Whining about something someone stated as fact. It is an old story, they didn't say anything else about it.

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

@@rochie4865 what a lame come back hehe sounds like you’re also the same type 😂

[@Songbirdstress]

So, boss was more empathetic than the boyfriend. Marry the boss.

[@teddennison344]

I know many aren't like this, but it is literally a supervisors' JOB to care about their reports' well-being.

[@moonlightauras1]

This is the best Fuck Around and Find Out story I've ever heard. Rob really was his own downfall and he has no one to blame but himself.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yup. Even if his father played a part, he chose to idolize him and it cost him the life he wanted.

[@FinnishLapphund]

Seriously? I know my autism makes me bad at last minute changes to plans, but I'm quite sure that "My sister's eye just perforated" would make even me reluctantly, but instantly realise that plans would just have to be changed.

[@crowdemon_archives]

I have ASD, but medical emergency tend to take precedence over whatever the hell I was doing, unless I'm stuck in a different medical emergency 😅

[@averlinbc5680]

To be fair with my ASD l think i’m okay with unavoidable change …because I’m so used to having it feel bigger and terrible when nothing actually happen… when it’s all legitimate I get to focus on someone else and my brain just calms down and focuses on how to help..😊

[@trashotaku]

same here

[@selinesbeau]

OUR families should be of equal importance to US, and a medical emergency comes ahead of pretty much anything else.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

So true! People need to get their priorities together.

[@BonazaiGirl]

I remember the first story. OP’s ex managed to destroy his own life and relationships so spectacularly that it was the karma of a century. And he has no one else to blame but himself.

[@JSainte17]

Yeah he sucks but my question is if it was so serious, 1. They wouldn’t let her transport her because they’d need an ambulance to do so and 2. OP can leave her job because it’s so serious but her own wife can’t?

[@BonazaiGirl]

@@JSainte17 With a perforated eye, all it takes is a matter of a few hours for it to be rendered blind, and the longer it takes, the smaller the chance it is for you to make a recovery. Plus, I don’t know if it’s America or not, but if the former, it’s cheaper and even faster to drive some days as some emergencies aren’t going to warrant an ambulance if one’s life isn’t an immediate threat. Plus, no free healthcare so… We don’t know the sister’s wife’s job. Some jobs will not let you leave even in the case of an emergency or, depending on location, it might be too far to help (especially if someone needs to take other forms of transportation like trains and buses to get there). My dad was my immediate contact but when I had an emergency, he was in DC at the time and it would’ve been a 90 minute commute to get back in town. There’s also the cases where you have to wait for the next person to cover you or fill your position, especially if your job is understaffed.

[@ecologytoday]

@@JSainte17 1) In my area, if someone is ambulatory, it is cheaper and faster to transport them in a private car to get to the alternate medical facility. 2) The sister's wife *was not contactable a s her phone was off*

[@BlankPageEmperor1334]

I don't like to say that someone might /deserve/ to be homeless, no, but man sure was working hard to become so!

[@BonazaiGirl]

@@JSainte17My first comment disappeared, KZbin has been acting up lately. As I said before: 1. If the injury isn’t life-threatening and the person is capable of being able to walk without huge assistance, then it’s easier to simply drive them there yourself. Also, I don’t remember if this takes place in America or not but healthcare isn’t free and it’ll be significantly cheaper to drive than to get an ambulance. But she was in danger of losing her sight in one eye, so it couldn’t wait. 2. The wife’s phone was off. She couldn’t be reached at the time. And we don’t know the specifics of her job. A long commute, a lockdown or simply needing someone to cover are some obstacles in the way of leaving a job. Edit: She’s from the UK, still sometimes driving is the better option.

[@emasters8619]

It's kind of karmic that one of his sons is the one who finally cracked his azz in the end. That's what he gets for trying to train him in his bad behavior

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yup. In my opinion, bad parents deserve any karma that comes their way, even if it's violent. If you can't be a good partner or a good parent then don't expect lady luck to smile upon you.

[@jmac5951]

For him to veer so wrong so quickly, the possibility must have always been there. Frankly, I think this is who Rob really is.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yup. Me too. It doesn't help that his sperm donor father has been dripping poison in his ear so he shares his way of thinking.

[@lesleygreen273]

Dodged a nuclear missle here. Rob has wrecked his own life.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yeah. This is probably one of the fastest and biggest ways I've ever heard someone fall from grace.

[@kateemma22]

His family seem lovely. Shame he hit every branch and gave himself a bad case of the walking red flag when he fell out of the family tree.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yes. Very much so. Although I don't think he fell too far from the family tree since he takes after his awful sperm donor father.

[@bangeryun94]

Rob was on a mission to sabotage himself and everyone who cared about him. I knew the OP was going to be okay but I was shocked at the level of disrespect he showed to his friend Zack and his wife. He had a room to himself but he just had to go and disregard their boundaries.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yeah. Some friend he is. 😒 19:25-19:29 and 19:57-20:07 Not surprised he got his sorry butt kicked out. 20:27-20:34 and 20:42 And I don't even want to discuss how cruel and disgusting he was to the poor girl that he took advantage of. 🤢 19:33-19:38-19:41

[@gazman2626]

As someone with 2 terrible parents. The level of coersive control can be horrible 😢

[@phantomflower6749]

Dont be toxic and challenge someone by saying 'you'll never find a guy/girl like me'. Because you know that person is gonna upgrade.

[@dune3001]

Oh, I remember this story...dude was next level delulu.

[@ChristopherClyde12]

Fascinating video, Let's stop taking relationship and family for granted. I have battled depression since my wife left me. I have tried all I can to make her see that I love her with everything I am made of but she has insisted on leaving. This has made me so empty, and I do not know what to do. I can barely function properly at work. I am frustrated and miserable. I really miss her.

[@ChristopherClyde12]

I'm keen on meeting the counsellor you're talking about. What steps should I take?

[@ChristopherClyde12]

Thank you for this information. I have just looked her up on Google. impressive.

[@MmMm-yd4rn]

I already heard this one before but still find funny he was scared of op's step dad Ex is intimidated by a better man

[@alyzu4755]

Pretty sad when your boss is more empathetic than your fiance. His behavior is extremely alarming. If OP had stayed, how much longer before his yelling turned into fists? He's already emotionally abusive. Update: Thank goodness for Sandra, Rob's brother, and, especially, OP's mom and stepfather. Second update: Wow! Rob just keeps getting worse and worse! I hope everyone around him stays safe.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

OP's most recent update has her explaining that her ex ending up in prison due to an altercation with his garbage father and honestly, I think that's exactly where he needs to be. Especially for everyone else to be safe.

[@spikeoramathon]

This was sadly so common in the Silent and "Great" Generations (the ones before the boomers). I remember my grandfather's wife (who drank the patriarchy's koolaid in gallons) talking about a friend of hers who wanted to go visit her dying sister (they were in their late 70s at the time), and her husband wouldn't "let her." My step-grandmother then said, "Well, she married him, she has to do as he says. He is her husband and that's the way things should be." Even as a 13-year-old, I knew that this was terribly, terribly wrong, but I also knew that nothing I could say would result in anything other than getting yelled at, or worse. EDIT: I know it wasn't all that generation, and apparently a lot of people's grandparents were nicer than mine. I base my observations not only on my grandparents but a stint working in a ultra-conservative religious nursing home in the Midwest. I was probably biased. I'm glad that folks are better than I thought. Whatever folks from my generation say about the younger folks now, I say you kids have done way better and are a lot more fair, open, and tolerant, and you all give me hope for the future. I'm glad to see the human race coming to its senses and wish I could live to see the world your grandchildren will create. Just a bit of philosophical waffle from this GenXer.

[@Wulfyr]

I'm a Gen Xer and that would have made my entire family shake their heads. I mean, I know it was expected back then but most husbands wouldn't (that I knew in that generation) wouldn't have stopped their wives from visiting a dying relative. That's unusually mean. Men of that generation did have the final say but I never met anybody who wielded that authority in such a mean hearted manner. I guess there were some men like that out there though. That's a really sad tale. That would have sounded unjust to my 13 year old ears in 1986 too.

[@paden1865able]

My parents were born in the 20s and 30s but neither one of them acted as you described, nor did their parents. I think it's a mindset that certain people of a generation have, not an entire generation. And yes, my siblings are Boomers while I was born in 65, the first year of Gen X.

[@spikeoramathon]

@@Wulfyr My family had an interesting dynamic, to say the least - my mother hated her father's misogyny (and his homophobia, racism, ableism, classism, etc, etc - you name it, he was it) but did not support us arguing with him about it, to "keep the peace." I'm glad not all families were like this.

[@spikeoramathon]

@@paden1865able I'm glad not everyone of that generation was like my grandfather. Of course, I didn't mean all of them were like that, it was just depressingly normalized, or, at least it felt like that when I was packed off to visit him and his friends for a week.

[@andrewmildenberg4210]

"WE ARE NOT OVER". Lol, yeah buddy, cuz thats how relationships work.

[@peggyperkins208]

Hearing the guy's story just get worse and worse as time went on since reconnecting with his dad to the point of putting him in hospital, just wow. Talk about falling off a mountain top, he went under the sea and jail. Happy OP and his family and friends are moving on from that bag of mess. I hope OP's sister recovers well from her eye surgery.

[@livaugirard3383]

i really can't think of any occasion that would be more important than saving your siblings eye omg 🤯

[@samvoss6697]

Even if Rob sees the light and realizes that he messed up big time, I don’t see any of his family or friends who cut him off agreeing to have him back in their lives. It seems like those relationships are gone for good

[@crowdemon_archives]

He's going to have to work very hard to prove he's not a fuckface again

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yeah, Rob is going to have to work his butt off in order to prove he's changed and repair some of those relationships. The others are destroyed beyond repair and the best he can do now is leave them alone.

[@natural4lifemiss]

She got out of that relationship because he'd end up hitting her and isolating her from her family and friends!

[@vSpade]

With the slang I learned from a certain reality TV show, we can call him Rob the Knob.

[@Swnsasy]

1st story, oh yes, heard this cluster fluck of a story before and man oh man, poor OP!! That dude lost everything good that he had just to be tossed away by the toxic low life he thought he should change to be like...

[@CRSB00]

and to add the cherry to that the toxic low life that sired him tossed *him* when he wasn't useful to him anymore

[@Swnsasy]

@@CRSB00 It's like dude, you see your father has no friends, no family, is single yet that is who you take relationship advice from??!

[@CRSB00]

@@Swnsasy "But he's just misunderstood" that's what he said when someone pointed that out, and like no, he is understood that's exactly why nobody likes him

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

​@@CRSB00 People like Rob don't want to accept the facts and the fact is his father is alone and miserable due to his own actions and he essentially did the same thing.

[@CRSB00]

@@PrincessQ-fj9ly and he did the same thing to please him, the man who abused and cheated on his mom and abandom them (his mom, him and his siblings) and now, by his own actions, he has no one on his side, not daddy dearest whom he so hard wanted to please

[@laurenjones9924]

Dude already threatened to make it hard for OP to kick him out, shows up at her house and acts like a crazy person because she won’t allow him to move back in after that snd her ‘friends’ who don’t want to deal with him mooching off them are trying to convince her to let him move into her guest room.

[@crawdaddy2004]

17:43 One thing I just don’t understand is why restraining orders often require violence to already have occurred. Like, I get that you shouldn’t be able to get restraining orders against people just because you don’t like them, but if you can show that you have real evidence of threat, that should be sufficient.

[@tatkkyo9911]

Judges don't like granting those if all they have is word vs word.

[@crawdaddy2004]

@@tatkkyo9911 Hence “real evidence.” The OP has ring doorbell video.

[@335chr]

Because crazy people have abused the system

[@crawdaddy2004]

@@335chr And for a third time, “show that you have real evidence of threat…”

[@335chr]

@@crawdaddy2004 because it depends on what exactly the evidence you have is. Someone sending regular harassing internet messages is less likely to get a restraining order than threatening phone calls which is less likey than a trespass warning from the police. Its less about having evidence and more about how likely violence is to occur based on that evidence

[@ariannafischer9205]

Jeez, I'd heard the first update but had no clue about the second. And since I haven't seen anyone say it yet on this, good on OP's stepdad for being there for her, glad they were able to bond through this nightmare mess.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yeah. Stepdad rocks! 😎

[@katwiltz1134]

It's so cool that I imagine your stepdad waiting there for this role he's been training his whole life for😂 and he did not disappoint. At least you have a reason for why he was acting like that so you don't have to blame yourself or look at things you might have done or any of the weak things that we do when things end. I hope your sisters doing well who will appreciate you your family until your future Boo's family

[@jbgra2566]

The fact that this was 29 years old man makes this even worse. He should have known way better by that age

[@paulclay4229]

Marks reaction to this story is why I love listening to this channel. Whilst being clear that Robs behaviour is unacceptable Mark manages to be sympathetic to a person who threw his life away. There aren't many people who can be this kind

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yeah. He sure is. There's a few occasions where even I lose my sympathy for someone when they destroy their lives due to their poor choices, especially if they've been an A-hole. Mark's super kind, that's for sure. ❤

[@coreymartin6486]

Its amazing to see not only how severe brain washing can be....but how the person can continue on being that way when their life is destroyed. Rob lost his girl, his family, his friends, a stable place to live,....and still continued on...

[@Davtwan]

“There ya go, son. That’s how you control a wo-WHOA, stay with me? No can do. I don’t want a grown son under my roof!” This is the part of the cartoon where the ex’s head turns into a sucker lollipop.

[@trashotaku]

The schadenfreude I feel hearing Rob getting rejected by the one person he ruined his life for 😈😈😈

[@colleens1107]

Oh NOW I remember this one. Wow this is an oldie. Exactly how many times will Rob double down and lose ANOTHER person before realizing his dad ain’t the person to use as a role model for healthy living and relationships? Like you lost your fiancé, brother, mother, myriad of friends because of you taking on your dad’s misogyny. When will you get that dear ol dad sucks? And couldn’t care less about you?

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I think the latest update had Rob and his dear old dad ending up in a fight. I don't know what the cause was, but it might be a sign that he's lashing out at the man who gave him these misogynistic and narcissistic tendencies.

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

Story 1: Ahh yes the "my family is more important then yours & should always take precedent. My family comes first. Period." This man is bonkers. After Update: "WE ARE NOT OVER" Dude a break up can be one sided. She doesn't need permission. Also demanding £10,000 for bills he WILLINGLY paid for while living together... fuck off. Him being butthurt that OP involved his mom & brother... well what else was she supposed to do? All of this because he decided to listen to his abusive dead beat dad... Like, he's not in your life for a reason. Ever thought of WHY? This man is pathetic. Showing up at OPs house because his mom won't take him in because he's been in touch with his father & dad won't take him in because he's an ass. Did he REALLY think OP would just let him waltz back into her life after everything he put her though? As for her "friends"... she's needs new ones. "Well we feel sorry for him. Just let him crash with you until he gets back in his feet." "Why won't you do it?" "We don't have the room! But if we did, absolutely" 🙄🙄 Give me a break!! Get new friends! Sooo... dudes still hanging with his dad & burning every bridge along the way... good to know. He'll end up sad, miserable, & alone just like dear old dad.

[@ZombieSazza]

With them being from England, that means there is legitimate homelessness support, Rob could’ve very easily spoken to his local council but decided to harass his ex. That’s not including ignoring a genuine medical emergency that could’ve left permanent blindness, trying to isolate OP from her family, trying to control OP, being in contact with his abusive dad knowing how much that would hurt his mum and brother, allowing his dad to poison his mind and brainwash him as a grown adult, destroying his relationship with his mum, brother and ex. He’s deffo gunna need the local councils contact details for homelessness because ain’t no way anyone will want him near them,

[@lexiburrows8127]

You can be waiting years for the Council to come up with anything. The best he could have hoped for was a B&B, which he was in already. Don't run away with the idea that Councils put you in a flat/house straight away, especially as a single man. BTW, for our American cousins and the rest of the World, the law for assault charges is:- Section 39 - Common Assault. Section 47 - Actual Bodily Harm. Section 20 - Wounding. Section 18 - Wounding with Intent. The latter two being G.B.H. (Grievous Bodily Harm).

[@alicewilloughby4318]

Story1 - What's that big red thing? Oooh, it's some kind of flag! Oh, hey, there's another one! And is that one, over there? And.... Also, I like Sandrra. 😀 Finally - Wow! That escalated!

[@Donald43]

What I don't understand is, even if Rob didn't bear the brunt of his dad's abuse originally, surely he would've been aware of the reason why his mother left him.

[@georgeprchal3924]

Well that escalated quickly...it really jumped up a notch.

[@AAAforshort]

It's mind boggling to me that someone can get so low so fast just because they got daddy issues Their mum said she saw he was selfish from the start so somewhere his personality was already somewhat twisted but seeing how his dad lives, how his dad dropped him like a hot potato the first time he tried knocking on his door for a place- it looks so pathetic, how desperate are you to see that as your role model just because 'I wanted a father figure growing up' so what?' I'd be appalled seeing that that man was biologically related to me. I do like that there's some karma in that Rob beat up daddy dearest in the end. See how he likes it.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Unfortunately, some people are so obsessed with getting their garbage parents' approval, even that means destroying their lives. I've always felt bad for children who have been abandoned and/or brainwashed by their garbage parents. But Rob lost any sympathy I had for him when he started becoming like his A-hole dad. That's usually the moment I lose sympathy, the moment children act like their toxic parents and hurt others. There are plenty of people who grew up in toxic environments and turned out just fine, so there's no excuse.

[@CouncilEstateRach]

Rob knows its wrong but he likes it.

[@stevenwalker4923]

It's obvious Rob has abandonment issues with his dad. Even though Dad was abusive. Sounds like Rob holds his Dad in high regard. OP and Rob's mother and brother are doing the right thing. Rob and his brother needed therapy after the abusive situation. Too late now.

[@toxicginger9936]

This! So much this! Rob was protected from the abuse but mom and bro, and therefore he doesn't have that understanding of how abusive he was... and then because of abandonment issues, he was seeking approval. And being the abuser that dad is, he weaponized that need. I'd bet anything that the dad did this as a new way to hurt his ex-wife. She took his sons away from him as kids, and now as an adult he can take away the man she raised from her and replace him with a man like himself.

[@marcsando]

I've always felt that it's not a question of MY family and YOUR family, but more WE (the couple) are to be prioritized (WE are THE priority) and in function of this to support one another regarding BOTH sides.

[@Mglay556]

You know when people say misogyny hurts everyone well here’s the perfect example of it lol Merry Christmas Rob

[@CanvasCulture-of2vn]

Thumbnail threw me off, thought it was an LG video at first, still great to see another of my favorite redditubers😍

[@Iflie]

Yeah my father tried that with my brother, my brother was easilly influenced but he was also a young teen. He didn't really manage it in the end because no one else was going to approve that view of women, not his nice dutch friends, not his mom and not me. But he still have selfish tendencies. If he was actually raised by our dad and my dad didn't move to another country it would have been a disaster. He really wanted approval from his father for a long long time.

[@AusExplorer]

Gaol/prison update was chef's kiss worthy.

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #1: Fiance would be an ex as soon as he started giving me the silent treatment. I wouldn't have even waited until the "My family comes first" nonsense ultimatum.

[@jessicadixon2270]

I'm willing to bet money Rob's father said something that basically revealed to Rob that he is exactly the man his mother and brother warned him about. Then said something below the belt, Rob reds out, and boom, altercation breaks out.

[@snake5solid]

I doubt it. It doesn't seem like the father was hiding who he really is and Rob appeared happy to let out his awful side flourish and go in his father's footsteps.

[@jessicadixon2270]

@@snake5solid Totally valid point. I just can't comprehend why anyone would strive to live the way Rob/his father does. How can they not be exhausted holding all that hate all the time?

[@jazzie-sanbelle99]

Op really dodge it there. I hope the ex will get some therapy and op will overcome from this trauma.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Agree. OP seems good, but I think she might need therapy to unpack the stress her ex brought her just in case. Rob on the other hand? I don't think therapy can help him now. If he's anything like his dad, he won't get help because in his mind, everyone else is the problem. A lot of people tend to do this, especially if they have narcissistic tendencies.

[@bluebeanie561]

Fiance's name is Rob...so he "robbed" her time and emotions in the end.

[@clarissagafoor5222]

What i found so disturbing about this was the fact that OP knew she'd need help getting her ex out of the house! There was a lot more to this story that we didn't get to hear/read. Well done OP in getting out whilst she could!

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yeah. And I shudder to think what could've happened to OP had she not have taken the steps to get him out as quickly and safely as possible. >⁠.⁠

[@Zminator1986]

Oh I remember Story 1! It's sad and pathetic that Rob destroyed his relationship with OP, his family, his friends, and any future relationships all for daddy's approval. I wonder what happens after his dad dies and the approval stops? Will he wake up and see how horrible of a person he was and try to seek everyone's forgiveness despite no one wants anything to do with him? Or will he continue to further become like his father and end up dead alone in a back alley with no one crying over his grave? Last three updates: POSs like Rob and his father got what they deserve. And no I don't think Rob has "seen the light". He may be saying the right things to gain sympathy from everyone, but will still be the same raging, misogynistic a-hole and continue to burn bridges for daddy's approval. I hope those assault charges don't lower, he needs to learn a very hard lesson. And he better not return to OP on his hands and knees begging to take him back, he's already an embarrassment to men. Good to hear the sister is healing well and wish her and OP the best 😊

[@KadeStringer2.0]

He will probably just move on with his life

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I hope it's the former, but I know the latter is more likely.

[@pamhall6635]

Op in the last story dodged a bazooka

[@loganjoh1]

Dude really just ruined his life in such a short period of time

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yeah. This is arguably the fastest way someone ruined their own life possible.

[@jpbaley2016]

You know your fiancé was crap, when his mother and brother side with you and move all his stuff out of your home.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yup. If your ex's family are on your side, you've definitely dodged a bullet.

[@1tiptip187]

Last I checked when you move out landlords don't pay you for the bills you have used while living there.

[@maxwellmukwevho1383]

Ehhh... Well that escalated, I heard this story before but it didn't have the update on the fight with the dad but that guy is messed up... People tried to help him but he just listened to the guy everyone hates and he knew why but damn, that's so wrong

[@rogrove6325]

After the very first post, it seems like everyone is treating this absolutely normally in the family except him. Like it sounds like the mother and brother are just absolutely understanding, as most human beings would, while Rob finally found that dusty "Traditional Values" switch that he could flip on the closer they got to marriage.

[@nutty77]

I think despite it all, Rob will always be looking for validation from his dad. He has a long way to go before he can honestly say he has changed, those 'doctorines' from his father will be very deep, especially as he's been under the father's infulence for longer than first thought. He obviously was able to hide his thoughts and feelings through his relationship with OP, until the incident which set the dominoes falling. OP has had a lucky escape and should now give herself some self care and time to sort through all her emotions.

[@sergeipohkerova7211]

"Gee, one is literally a life or death situation, and the other is a social event. Am I wrong for prioritizing the mortal situation?" 🙄

[@elizabethescalante8114]

Rob should right a book! "How To Burn Bridges By Listening To An Abuser!" I worry for his brother and mom. If he REALLY wants to change, they should tell him that if he's serious about cutting off daddy dearest, then he should have no qualms about going with them to therapy!!! His reaction should tell them all they need to know. Because if his sexist and hateful views were learned in a misguided need to have a dad, then he can just as easily UNLEARN it, but only if he's willing! Also, does anyone else think his Daddy was using his stupid ass and just to spite his mother and bro?

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I agree. These would be my terms when it comes to a toxic relative, even if I'll be seen as the bad guy. No therapy, no contact.

[@susanlosey9511]

OP, NTA. He’s trying to be controlling of you. In other words, “ I’m the man of the house! You do as I say”! That type of crap. Good for you to dropping him out and kicking him out!

[@charlottehancock76]

Wow 7 minutes after upload. Going to listen while i crochet some baby booties to sell

[@poohbear4515]

I’ve seen some that have adorable teddy bears, kitties, and tiny wings on them for decoration on Pinterest. Hope you sell a lot!

[@charlottehancock76]

@poohbear4515 oh nice, i think i have seen a few too. Thank you though 😊

[@Shockingstories618]

That person doesn't deserve to be by your side!

[@goatkiller666]

Story 1 - This story just show me that we all should take a look at our significant others. If we were to break up with them, would we feel the need to install CCTV, and have some burley men around. If the answer is Yes, maybe just break up now. ‘Cause that’s not cool.

[@Salazarsalsa]

My stepdad was a Ranger. My husband isn't scared of him. If a dude is scared of someone's dad, they're bad news

[@Sunari]

Agreed. Sounds like he figured it was a matter of time, which says a lot. I’m guessing it’s also because he didn’t view stepdad as a potential ally since he didn’t seem to hold the same fear over his friend, but he was also drunk so maybe he was too emboldened to consider it.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I don't know. My sister's boyfriend was initially intimidated by my father and he's a really sweet guy. ❤ But you are right. Bullies are usually scared of people bigger and stronger than them.

[@christianthrasher8677]

I really hope op remove herself from her friend group that supports Rob if I was op id tell the group the truth then leave them

[@liyo210]

Cut off those friends who tell you to let Rob stay with you. They are 100% not your friends.

[@andrewthomasprism9388]

I wish these people would stop using that dumbass line when they refuse a breakup. "You'll will never find another man like me!" "You'll never find another bitch like me, none of those other girls compare to me!" AND MY LIFE WILL BE SO MUCH BRIGHTER FOR THAT VERY REASON! I DON'T WANT ANOTHER YOU!

[@Chekedaki]

Mark, I have a crush on your voice and sweet sweet words and empathetic perspective! ❤

[@Onewith24]

Well, there's thing called homeless shelter. He can go over there instead of pestering her in the first place.

[@katraylor]

Dude emptied a whole clip into his foot, looked at the damage, accepted another clip from his dad, emptied it into his foot, and continued until he landed in jail.

[@tunatofu63]

Clue: missing dad urged Rob to get the 10k pounds which he hoped to take and when it failed he tossed Rob to the curb. He is an abusive user and devised an opportunity.

[@WereDictionary]

"You will never find another partner like me" YEAH HOPEFULLY, THATS THE IDEA This isnt the flex they think it is lol

[@crystelthewolf]

Damn, i forgot this all started with a sister needing eye surgery. Halfway through the ex going to prison drama, i was like "am i even listening to the same story as before??" Absolutely batshit. What a piece of work, worships his terrible father only to almost kill him over some argument

[@RevWarRev]

Story 1: When someone shows you who they are, beleive them the first time... Yes, he would have expected OP to put him and his family first in everything. People movong in together in any circumstances need an agreement on what happens when the relationship -romantic or roomate - ends. His actions after the breakup showed she made the right decision. He had no rights to any money, they were part of the cost for him living there.

[@fendisugiri1247]

Thank you for my daily dose of Schadenfreude a la Instant Karma 👌 Heard this story few months back (in my playlist titled "Stupidest Shit"), glad to see an update. Hoping to see further update to see the conclusion to Rob's story.