Fierce Self-Compassion: A Conversation Between Tara Brach and Dr. Kristin Neff

[@trishcovich1923]

So helpful. Something I've learnt around the subject of seeking validation from others for the abuse I experienced is this. Choose the people you tell carefully. Not everyone is equipped to support you and may even lay blame. This was a hard but necessary lesson

[@kailynembrack9110]

I love how you both value the movement of black lives and relate it as self compassion. You are excellent mentors

[@catherinecrea3494]

It’s refreshing to hear Kristen such raw and real complexities many of us face in the journey of life. Sometimes people who speak mindfulness compassion. Self compassion and other spiritually enriching or personal self development make it all seem too easy perfect and flawless. It can discourage the rest of us who still fall into the struggle which Kristen so eloquently demonstrates is part of the process and noticing that part being self compassionate when it arises recognizing our humanity is the point to take the step back into self compassionate talk. Thank you for sharing.

[@isobelm7416]

Omg you both are my biggest mentors. Self compassion saved my life

[@elizab3341]

Hello, I'm just getting started on the SC train. Did you make a daily practice of self compassion at first or just use it when you noticed you being self critical?

[@annakalapazana8461]

Thank you, Tara and Kristin for being so real and so you!

[@carrie7415]

Two of my favourite teachers together, what a gift. Thank you for all that you share! ♥️🙏🏼

[@alexandraleavin]

Thank you so much Kristin and Tara! Your warmth, your honesty, your wisdom were everything! Really made me feel we're not in this alone! 🤗

[@analogkid4957]

Thank you Tara and Kristen for a wonderful interview. I’m so glad this came up in my you tube algorithms. I totally resonate inasmuch as a 54 year old man in recovery from childhood/adulthood trauma self compassion and reparenting are a spiritual practice to me. I merge with the Compassionate universe or Great Spirit. I do want to convey that men struggle with self compassion greatly. The pressure to conform to the tough guy who can’t show his emotions or cry has greatly impacted men’s mental health. Moreover. Men also have gotten familial and societal messages that they are incomplete without a woman or they need a women to complete them ( speaking from a heterosexual perspective). The male suicide is very high because of some of these factors. Many men feel if their self compassionate it’s not manly or macho- these can be internalized subconscious messages. Thankfully there are more and more men on the healing path than ever before. Similar to what Kristen mentioned with women helping heal each other, Men also benefit from being a part of men’s groups. I will certainly purchase Kristen’s book.

[@thesleeper200x]

Thanks for this. Well said.

[@ShaktiJoyfulmind]

A brilliant, provoking discussion between two illuminating women 👏👏

[@michaelayamat9310]

Deeply appreciate the inner wisdom and rich insights both of you have offered, including your own experiences and journey on the path. I feel genuine compassion from both of you and you made me feel I am not alone. I just purchased both of your books and I also have it in audible, so I could listen to them anytime. So grateful for the teachings you both generously shared.

[@Beingyourselfnow]

What a wonderful empowering conversation I'm so enjoying listening to you both and learning how incredible, intelligent, vulnerable and lovable we humans are love to you both and everyone here listening to this podcast ❤❤❤❤

[@TT-sy5kj]

Thank you so much Tara and thank you so much Kristin! This talk touched my heart in so many ways, thank you, thank you, thank you! 🙏❤

[@SaundaryaLahari]

I really appreciate you bringing up the fear people have that these techniques, when brought into a workplace, are going to be a replacement for actual material changes to workloads, pay and other exploitive work conditions which have become so prevalent in our society. Many companies DO try and use these techniques as a means to continue to exploit their workforce. Currently this can be seen with Amazon not allowing employees time to go to the bathroom yet then they are going to install Zen Booths or Mindful Practice rooms for employees. A bathroom break, living wages, and reasonable schedules would do a lot more for them than a zen room they don't even have time to use. I hope you make it clear to the companies which hire you that these teachings - while wonderful - are not a replacement for wages, time off and dignified treatment.

[@jasmin1773]

The first 7 days I just felt like nearly nothing and now it's getting better and I'm starting to feel more connected.

[@triciashortridge2309]

Thank you! Listening to this opened my eyes to many new things about myself. Thank you.

[@jasmin1773]

Now it totally makes sense to have 2 books! Its like Yin and Yang self compassion.. that's incredible beautiful 😊. Beautiful message to feel uncomfortable alone, so much needed in this time! Self compassion is also about deconditioning!

[@silviagibbons3419]

Thank you Tara 🎁 this interview was amazingly useful and to the point ! I appreciated your deep and practical questions to Kristen so we can all put fierce self compassion into practice 😊 extremely useful for me to hear the “how to” do it !

[@lovelyella]

This is so relevant to my experience as a woman. Thank you to both of you 🕉💜

[@lynnehurley9665]

Thank you...this is a most informative and compassionate sharing from you both. You both do this from a place of so much wisdom and authenticity 🙏

[@brightnesslight542]

جدا استمتعت وتأثرت بالكلام شكرا دكتوره كريستن ❤ God bless you both

[@susieandrews3025]

2 beautiful humans coming together. Loved it, thanks so much 😘x

[@siennamay2499]

Thank you so very much, to both you amazingly beautiful women for sharing this with us all 🙏🏻 and thank you Kristen for sharing your personal stories with us, it very much helped me today to relate with all you have said, and to apply in my own life. You both are true blessings, thank you 🙏🏻✨🕊🌸♥️

[@solpractices]

Great book! I love the wisdom of the two amazing teachers.

[@brettdelarosa7083]

I really learned alot from you both over the years and help me get through more challenging times. Perfect moment and really needed to hear this today and really identify and dealing with this now very inspiring me and not alone. Truly grateful for all the above. ⭐👼🙏💖🌎☮️🌅🌈

[@shanacolburn8538]

Thank you so much for this conversation.

[@lindahebb4832]

Thank you for posting

[@krisamara1111]

Interesting. Thank you. I just wanted to add, that at my level of consciousness, I perceive myself to be very authentic, yet greatly lacking in self-compassion. 🙏🙏🙏

[@LUCIALOVE8]

Beautiful !!

[@Movingmts111]

Thank you both so much

[@mariabonitastudio81]

Great video, saw her Book (auto compasión Fiera, Spain sh edition) at the supermarket, just bought it.. this video is Lovely introduction 😊

[@kikachinchilla894]

Thank you both ❤️

[@dianelulanet4649]

Tara bought your book yesterday looking forward to getting into it thank you so much for writing this

[@paperprincess1050]

Such great conversation, thank you

[@teres1523]

Honoring the care of the self, by acknowledgeing our boundaries , Validate when there's transgression and self empowerment is one of the thing that is lost on some " spiritual" practices where the took the idea of individual/ ego as a "bad thing". Another way to desempower and deny our beingness. Yes we are one and yes I am a holy , precious ME , one does not take the other out. Thinking in polarities is old paradigm to me.

[@earthpearl3790]

I am glad you posted your perspective! I like your attitude of inclusion as opposed to either or. I don’t believe spiritual practice should ever exclude practical considerations like safety and protection. The way I see it, most of us live in the world and not in ashrams or monasteries. Keep glowing! 🔆

[@jasmin1773]

My biggest self compassion challenge is to forgive myself for past "failures"!

[@DrMusicStarr]

soooo gorgeous. Thank you both

[@onewomancircus]

How beautiful 💖. Thank you!

[@ncn141953]

Having a strong back and soft front as put by Tara conveys clearly what is needed. Kristin Neff seems to almost border on self centered and violent approach which is to undermine what compassion is meant to be - not just me versus others but me together with others where the ‘other’ is as important as me.

[@Ciskuss]

Talk about these moments Kristine. i feel that only one other can make me feel ok

[@charlienicely7878]

I love this work and am so disappointed that it doesn’t include all gender minorities. I find myself guiding my gender queer and trans clients into fierce self-compassion and it’s so so important and helpful for them.

[@earthpearl3790]

I’m sorry for the violations Kristen experienced. I appreciate her need for safety and protection. It is essential for self care.

[@GrowWithJustin]

As a person of color who seemingly is always always floating and impacted by the soup of systemic issues like racism and white supremacy, how do I feel/create peace with this dynamic? How can I have a "relationship" with what feels like a narcissistic energy that does not want to budge? I can soften with the individual, but the systemic harm feels constant and it seems like the only solution is to disengage and distance, but with white supremacy, it does not seem possible. I find myself isolating and it does not feel good, but I also don't know how to engage in constructive and personally healthy ways. Any insight or guidance would be deeply appreciated.

[@danielleleclair1125]

My background is Metis, Danes, Doukhobor and French. This clash of cultures makes it a constant confrontation in me. There is no escape...believe me, I've tried. There's only compost. Compost are the life lessons...the constant confrontation. Yes, that compost stinks...but it also helps me grow big and strong. A suicide attempt at 11 and my early 20's, homelessness, abuse... Crappy relationships, heart surgery at 19, my parents' divorce... Mental illness, the stigma, the institutions, the lies of government... It all tried to take me out and every time I refused...it's compost. I write music and play guitar and one of my songs lyrics are: The good will rise through the pain... Every though you may think it could never happen andd all your life feels like It's not enough But it is And you will live And it'll change And it'll be the greatest Day of your life again I know that hope is a tree With every dream Sealed in a leaf And everytime one of those leaves fall away Here comes the pain But your roots hold you your roots, hold you roots, grow you Roots hold you You look inside you and you hate all you believe It's hurting you and it's killing me You look around you and hate all you see It hurts you and its killing me You think about things Until you start to drown Your dreams are dying Just lying alone on the ground But I know More will grow Over and over and over While your roots hold you Yes your roots hold you Your roots hold you Roots hold you There's another verse and stuff but you get the drift...the most important work we engage is the work we do on ourselves.

[@isobelm7416]

You can use your self compassion to allow yourself to express your feelings and listen with patience. What you are living as a person of color in this world is hard, it is ok to feel angry and sad about it. It is frustrating and many times almost impossible to just get away from the horrible hate scene in front of our eyes. You are allowed to get angry, to get sad, to have all this feelings. That doesn't make you bad or uncapable of dealing with it. You are dealing with it your way. Be there for yourself and you will find ways to then make a change on the outside. Everything counts, everything you do to protect yourself and others, every ounce of happiness you find when you allow yourself to feel your valid feelings counts too. I hope this helped. I send you a hug

[@danielleleclair1125]

Maybe a support group, The Work by Byron Katie, or Bach flower remedies. There are many ways one can fulfill their purpose. Remember work is how we make a living, giving is how we make a life. So how can you give back? What particular story is yours alone, that you can share with the world?

[@GrowWithJustin]

@@danielleleclair1125 Thank you for the gentle reminder there are supportive paths that are already being walked. I enjoyed your lyrics and resonated btw 🌳

[@GrowWithJustin]

@@isobelm7416 Thank you for this, I'm finding acceptance is a windy road but one I'm walking 🌿

[@marikorhonen8382]

Two bright ⭐'s 💛

[@lovelyella]

Empathy gets a bad reputation because it’s rarely returned… but I think it’s a critical point to compassion

[@tahiyamarome]

I'll have to read the book because assessing it without reading is silly. But I'm struggling with the sense that this is a very anglo take on gender socialization. I've lived with roommates from all kinds of cultures for most of my adult life so I have close up experience with women and men coming from different gender training. In my own experience anglo women are more like their training behind the closed door. Women from other cultures seem a lot more free with their fierceness behind closed doors. I'm not talking about patently abused women or cultures that deify misogyny. That said, I can wholeheartedly endorse the idea of fierce self-compassion and fierce compassion toward others. It strikes me that this quality of compassion may be an output of authentic love, in the deepest versions of that.

[@flaneurgalicia]

Dr. Neff you yourself said your son was disruptive at the public lecture. It was your responsibility as your son's mother not to turn into the "fierce protective mother bear". As the mother it was your job to help lovingly quiet your son so that he did not interfere with everyone else's right to listen to and enjoy the program

[@carolynm7480]

Is self compassion really possible if one has no compassion for those weaker than us?

[@名誉ために日本人天の祖先]

I am going to reward myself more

[@orahzamir3562]

I was raped. The police caught him the next morning trying to strangle someone. I did everything I could to help put him back in prison. My motivation was to prevent him from hurting anyone else. He had killed his wife, been in prison and paroledl. He had disappeared until this incident. I believe Patriarchal culture is coming to an end and is on self-destruct. There are people who don't want the change to take place. How do we stop them from causing so much destruction as humanity strives to move on.

[@donsforever1462]

Tara speaks of self compassion in a more compassionate sounding voice .just my personal opinion 🙏

[@lindahebb4832]

🤗

[@suzemidwife]

I wished when Kristin was talking about experiences of all women that there had been some discussion of the experiences of trans women within that. Otherwise I thought the conversation was warming, encouraging, hopeful and inspiring

[@raneeranatunga5692]

The self compassion first introduced by lord gouthama the buddha preaching buddhist doctrine which is notblimited to buddhists onlyn but to all worldlings,.he was born in india 2600 years ago compassion meditation by doing concentration and doing insight meditation. Pirifying mind to reach nibbana peacefulness in death andbafter death. starting compassion with yourself then to your loved ones in family then to freinds then moderate people and to enenys and whold world . Buddhist compassion direct to all living beings icluding animals and envoirement we live .

[@joanjettboy]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@baNkzFortnite]

Kiss each other please

[@upendasana7857]

Its funny to me how Kristin is explaining to Tara some of these self compassion principles...its abit like selling snow to Eskimos...sorry,I'm sure Kristin means well but honestly Tara is a well seasoned supreme teacher of these things and I found Kristin's explaining some of these ides and insights to someone as practiced as Tara to be a bit laughable...but anyway Tara is much more patient and gracious than me which is why she can sit there and not react whereas I would be !!! Literally everything Kristen mentioned including the scientific physiological responses Tara has mentioned in so many of her talks. It really makes me wonder if she has actually read or listened to any of Taras work or talks at all or people like Jack Kornfield who talks deeply about energies such as kundalini and other "spiritual phenomon"and the mind/body/spirit continuum.

[@onewomancircus]

The way I'm hearing it is as a conversation between equals.

[@jbeansky]

Um. There’s an audience listening that hasn’t heard all these things.

[@NtathuAllen]

Beginners mind and being present because everytine we hear the "same thing" we are in a different space and things land differently. It's a conversation.

[@johnmmurphy439]

Dr. Kristen Neff is the premier researcher of self compassion. Her work is foundational and has contributed deeply to the standard of practice in modern meditation. Metta ( loving kindness) practice aside, which came directly from the Buddha's Metta Sutta -she's been doing her thing for over 20 years. As a huge fan of both Tara Brach and Dr. Kristen Neff I recognize the influence of her work in Tara's own work. It's very likely they've very much influenced each other. Either way I'm not sure it matters as much as getting the message and the practice out to as many hurting souls as possible. In that respect two seasoned professional voices is way better than one. And two of those voices in one interview is amazing. May you be Peaceful.