Fifty Shades of Physical and Emotional Abuse, a book review by The Dom

[@PoisonBear-ms7oq]

if Christian Grey wasn't a billionaire and lived in a trailer park, fifty shades would be an episode of criminal minds

[@nichtoffentlich4142]

More like: Law & Order: SVU.

[@futurestoryteller]

What's really funny to me though, is that both of those shows are as equally terrible as this book.

[@DuskSunDawn]

+Locutette There is an Criminal Minds's episode where the criminal is a man who had a terrible mother (abuse, negligence) and decided to torture women as a way of relieving the pain and the defencelessness.

[@firewolfandrewb]

I thought that Criminal Minds was pretty good. Although I haven't seen the most recent seasons, so things could have changed.

[@futurestoryteller]

Andrew B Whatever floats your boat, I guess. But to me these shows tend to come off as what sheltered suburbanites think "evil" is like; and what they think intellectual, selfless, handsome heroes are like. All of the main characters are supposed to have different specialties, but you'll find that if you put their dialogue into the mouths of each other, you would never know the difference. They also tend to be canon sue types. It's all: I know three types of martial arts, sixteen languages, I have five PhDs in forensic and computer sciences, I know all the answers to trivial pursuit (because I'm pop cultured) I'm non-traditionally handsome, my dick is *six feet long* and I _know_ that the killer wore a red tie! **Gasps** "I'm just that good people, but I'm also... awkward... because I'm a tortured intellectual and no one understands my brilliance." The killer has a hard on. That's usually what it boils down to. He sets fires: it's sexual. He bombs buildings: it's sexual. Rape, rape, rape, rape rape. Rape everywhere! Mandy Patinkin actually left the show over this. I didn't watch it much, but people loved turning it on while I was on my lunch break at work. The show often seems to suggest there are no shades between the eponymous "Criminal Minds" and the minds of average people, or certainly law enforcement officers, to the point where the distinction might as well be genetic. They're just *monsters.* Which is a type of storytelling that I thought had fallen out of style because it's rote. It also had the _worst_ acting I had ever seen in my life. Seemingly dramatic scenes would often illicit laughter from myself and other casual viewers in the break room, while the people who'd turned it on as a thriller would become frustrated with our open dissonance. Sorry, I didn't mean to go on forever, but this is not even taking into account how unreliable criminal profiling is in real life. So in a word, I just think it's: stupid.

[@wallybirb]

To quote John Oliver, "Sex is a lot like boxing. When one person doesn't consent, it turns into a fucking crime."

[@violaseveri7931]

John Oliver FTW

[@taqu]

Hah, yes. John Oliver is both hilarious and insightful. I love Last Week Tonight and The Bugle.

[@use_alt_love_287]

+

[@KidSnivy69]

25:39

[@kristenhaller3188]

E H That video is stupid.

[@MichaelAarons1701]

What's worse is that if Christian is all about control and domination, he'd have actually learned that in BDSM, the SUB is actually the one in charge because the dom is only being granted permission to handle the sub however they want within the boundaries of the sub's terms and that the sub can yank the cord with the utterance of a safety word. Bennett the Sage put it best: It's a relationship based on trust. Trust in your partner to take you to a dark place that tests your limits and, with the utterance of a word, bring you back from it. Grey just wants to beat someone up to get over being molested.

[@MichaelAarons1701]

+Locutette In short, the Dom is the game designer and the sub is the customer telling them they've done a good job entertaining them and paying them only if they do it to their satisfaction. Really it's a reversal of fortune. The Dom is someone who is granted a moment of power to compensate for none while the sub is surrendering the power they usually have. The story would have been better if he were demanding Anna beat him up despite her meekness because he gets off being under which is still the dominant position I believe there's a term "Alpha bitch/slave/sub" where it's a person who's completely domineering in everything they come across but then wants to be totally used and taken advantage of in the sack. That would have made an interesting dynamic as well because Grey is hurt by the woman who abused him but is both surrendering to females while controlling them as if to take back the power while sorta teaching Anna to grow a pair.

[@Botandarun]

As a sub myself, this erotica short you describe sounds very accurate! I am so completely in control and assertive at work, not one of my co-workers would believe that when I'm home I like to curl up at my boyfriend's feet and surrender all my power to him :) But it makes sense, hanging on to control 24/7 is exhausting and it's a lucky thing that I have a place safe enough to let everything go and let someone else take care of me. My boyfriend and I also sometimes switch, and interestingly enough both of us describe the feeling of subbing primarily as one of being "cared for". It's a lovely thing :) I don't think Ana ever feels cared for.

[@MichaelAarons1701]

+Pangur Ban Sub sounds fun as an exhilarating release of inhibitions exploring both your own desires and limits. It's like jumping vs the person holding your safety rope pushing you into it (trusting their grip doesn't suck).

[@Botandarun]

A very accurate comparison! It's much like this trust game children play, where they close their eyes and fall backwards and another person catches them. It's a fun an exhilarating rush, but it also takes a complete trust in the other person and when they catch you, it's a very incredible and intimate bonding moment. I may give all the power over to my boyfriend, but I do it trusting that he'll use it only in my best interest, and when he does it reaffirms and justifies my trust in him. And just as in your example, the dom is the one holding the safety rope and they take that shit very seriously. I can't tell you the number of times I was recklessly enthusiastic and my boyfriend was the one to put on the breaks, researched and applied every safety measure in the book and despite my enthusiasm eased me into super slowly to be sure I really could handle it and really liked it. That's what a real dom does :) Wanting the control means wanting the responsibility as well. Most mentions of doms especially in mainstream media go into their sadistic nature or controlling nature, but gloss over their most fundamental attribute: their caregiver nature.

[@taqu]

Well put. Being a sub is indeed about exploring your own limitations and experiencing what feels like a total lack of control, when in reality you know you are always safe. If you're usually a control freak, you can actually learn to let go and know that you'll be fine even if you aren't in charge of every single thing, because you can never truly lose your agency. That's what I've learned, anyway.

[@crustaceandroolcube]

a character who threw a tampon in the toilet is written by a woman. good god. e l james' plumber must be sleeping on a pile of money

[@julietfischer5056]

Or every plumber in town has her on the 'Don't take her calls' list.

[@BooksToAshes]

My mother and sister always flushed theirs and I told them they're not supposed to. it's literally ON the box not to and they had no idea and my sister still does it so a lot of woman just don't educate themselves or care :/

[@alameachan]

@@BooksToAshes Or weren't educated properly. Which, considering how my own sex ed went, wouldn't surprise me at all.

[@d.o.m.i.]

@@BooksToAshes also most public bathrooms have signs telling you not to do that

[@somethingfunny5571]

My mom taught me to flush them…

[@francessmith5073]

As a survivor of domestic violence and sexual abuse, I can't anything romantic about how these characters behave. It took me a long time to stop looking for places to physically hide and realise that my husband and his family wouldn't let anything happen to me. It is NOT romantic to be tracked down, it is frightening and even when I went for a restraining order I was told by the first judge I had insufficient fear to get one. The second judge told my ex he could have no communications with me at all. I still live in fear that he will find me one day and it has been twenty three years since I last saw him.

[@monkeypandatank]

If I could give this multiple thumbs up I could. My SO is also a survivor of abuse, her parents unfortunately. The looking for someplace to hide struck a cord with me as she also has dealt with that. I won't go into details but I have never heard of abuse as severe as what she went through. It's been hard at times but we love each other more than I can state and she's doing better all the time. She doesn't seem to fear her parents as much as I do. I'm terrified anytime she has interactions with them, her mother in particular. I have one at least one occasion been scared her mother was going to kidnap her. Her mother showed up at my parents house on X-Mas eve. This truly disturbing thing about this is her mother did not know we were at my parent's house and did not know where my parents lived.

[@grantmoore8228]

Frances Smith that's the thing I hate about this book, not only is it written terribly but I almost wish it could have changed lives. I almost want a book that honestly shows what this type of action really is...abuse,plain and simple. we still don't have a mainstream book or movie that shows how terrible sexual and verbal abuse is and how it can linger even when it ends. if E.L James actually knew what this type of relationship is and wrote an uplifting story of a girl ending a spiral of abuse and slowly healing then it could potentially change lives. that's this books problem, it's wasted potential and sends a horrible message to others!

[@francessmith5073]

I'm sorry to hear about your partner. My parents were wonderful people. The problem was that they are half the world away from me. I sailed half way round the world with them but got off to stay with my ex boyfriend. How my self esteem and self worth was stripped away by him is scary. I can honestly say that my husband and his family helped me greatly. Now that I have reconnected with my family and friends through the internet my life seems to be steady.

[@grantmoore8228]

Sara Nightfire I'm so sorry to hear that. be strong

[@Mailed-Knight]

I don't know what to say except you have my sympaties. I hope things go well for you all.

[@mariakarolina7753]

As an avid fanfiction reader, the fact that these books were the ones that got so popular that they got adapted into movies is deeply offensive. You can find stuff that's x1000000 times better on AO3 that will never be taken seriously because now when people think of fanfiction, they think of this piece of shit.

[@grantkelly8696]

Maria Karolina Agreed. One time I read a fanfic that rewrote Spider-Man 3's script and it was actually really good and fixed a few problems in it.

[@yayyonder6717]

Maria Karolina I agree!

[@futurestoryteller]

I'm sure that's not your real name, but it sounds pretty cool anyway, "Maria Karolina"

[@pindrusha]

AO3 is my safe harbour. There are so many excellently written pieces!

[@futurestoryteller]

"There are so many excellently written pieces!" Are there? How do you find them? None of these sites have ratings systems, right?

[@axbrax5697]

"I will NOT be covering the sequels!" well this quote has aged well

[@Raetsmar]

Wdym?

[@skylx0812]

Thats one thing the author got right. Control.

[@josephdavis9234]

Also "I won't be covering Twilight any time soon".

[@savannahlehman3230]

Here a year after your comment and I definitely agree🤣

[@Strannik01]

@@josephdavis9234 I look forward to Dom's 3-part review of the Mister. And maybe Black Moon Rising.

[@GarlicPudding]

A common joke among BDSM enthusiasts about this book: "If you want to switch places with your Sub, say 'Fifty Shades' is good. They'll turn Dom right there."

[@tigaliyt]

Oh, I like that one! I'll be sure to share it.

[@Theracooninyourbasement]

That's a good hint😋

[@monarchminnie5827]

I don’t get it

[@NinjaGidget]

@@monarchminnie5827 I believe it's meant to indicate people who are actually versed in accepted BDSM practices hate the misrepresentation in this book so much that the mere mention of it will turn even the most timid submissive person into a tower of righteous fury.

[@irishsphinx778]

Haha I’ll share that with my Dom. He’ll get a kick out of it.

[@MinimalistTheatre333]

In other words, Fifty Shades of Grey could have been a very effective horror movie.

[@TheNicolevertone]

...Could have been? I was dragged into watching the 50 shades trilogy and can honestly say it's one of the scariest things I have ever seen.

[@Xehanort10]

Like The Room's an unintentional comedy that tried to be a drama 50 Shades is a bad horror film that tried to be a romance.

[@Jenna2k]

It is kinda. It has the creepy stalker. Only problem is the final girl loves the stalker.

[@c.d.dailey8013]

That is a good idea. I would think of the story as a nightmare. Horror movie works too. Christian Gray is even based on a vampire, named Edward Cullen. Vampires are a staple of the horror genre.

[@sugaryheaven4089]

You guys should watch this TV series called "You".

[@MagusSartori]

"I just feel that it's important that we hate it for the right reasons" man after my own heart

[@xmilax96]

Same

[@megamage911]

Agreed 100% Honestly that's true for so many things honestly. I know we're all probably tired of hearing about him, but that's the same way I feel about Trump. While I don't neccesarily hate him as much as many others, I also don't see him as perfect in any way, but I'm tired of news outlets making up shit to hate about him, instead of focusing on the facts we already know.

[@obliviousotterI]

@@megamage911 Yeah, there's more than enough material to make him a massive asshole

[@yyoveltube]

I LOVE THIS QUOTE

[@lindiwengwevela524]

I LOLed SO hard cause he's right!

[@tasha8591]

"If both people are into it, it's a sport. If one person is into it, it's assault." A+

[@HawkinaBox]

XD

[@redfyresasoiaf]

I'm not going to force my vegan agenda on y'all, but this is applicable to animals (hunting, farming etc.)

[@DopeioThePhoneBoi]

StarDust Stables "I'm not going to force my vegan agenda." **passive aggresively forces vegan agenda**

[@OneWingedHoneybee]

StarDust Stables This is the best example of a vegan inserting their agenda where it doesn't belong and wasn't asked for that I have ever seen

[@lavendercowboy2499]

StarDust Stables you can't consent to being killed what you on about. if you want to be vegan, then that's great! i wish i had the time and energy to be able to give up meat etc but I can't, so good job, but don't force your beliefs/practices on others.

[@bicarbonat1]

My first thought was "All of this would make a lot more sense to me if Christian Grey were an incubus." The weird sex hang-ups, the fondness for contracts (a classic hell/demon trope), the controlling, the inability to speak like a _human being_ ("I'm 50 shades of fucked up" S I R), the staggering wealth, the physical Gary Stu-ness of it all, Ana's drained personality, the fact that Christian just ~can't leave her alone~ (because she's intoxicating and oh my God we've come right back to Twilight)

[@biasedzombie6819]

So the cycle is complete it appears

[@emmad4308]

That... That actually makes sense.

[@leek.3671]

Would have made for a waaaaaay better plot idea or twist than the original book at least! At the very least it could have made things more interesting but no, it’s just a plain fucked up story.

[@pauliedoodle1939]

It is a Twilight fanfiction after all. All E.L. James did was change up the names (barely) and added in some Mom porn. I’m surprised Stephanie Meyer didn’t sue lol.

[@jery3385]

Fuck, we're back where we started,aight let's wait a decade or two for one more shitty 'love' story to drop.

[@bethanyangelstar]

I honestly thought that Fifty Shades of Grey was a HORROR story, with how it's written. The only thing it's missing is the hidden bodies in Christian's closet.

[@hemidas]

Bethany Angelstar Christian would be a perfect Cenobite.

[@Hekateras]

Would it make you feel better that "50S reimagined with Christian as a serial killer" is a fairly popular niche in the anti-50S fanfiction community? :)

[@bookwyrmneducator]

Always have said if he wasn't rich, it would be an episode of Criminal Minds.

[@danynes4710]

That actually might have made it interesting. Well, more interesting. I honestly couldn't get through one page of the book.

[@alexisflores6678]

Fifty shades of red huh?

[@popoyoy13]

I've read porn written by 16-year-olds. They're better than 50 shades.

[@whensomethingcriesagain]

I could WRITE porn as a teenager that would be infinitely better.

[@ResidentMilf]

Maghfira Pradipta I wrote porn better than 50 Shades when I was in middle school.

[@christopherguglielmana132]

If you've ever read twist and shout, a destiel fanfiction.. woaaaaah its good. If you haven't watched Supernatural, it doesnt matter, because the fanfiction works just like a book ;O! Its one of the best 'books' ive ever read.

[@haru-zc3hb]

gotta get that stucky r18 angst fic

[@leethegaygeek]

Grace Guglielmana Yessss

[@Neko141212]

Yet another thing to hate Christian for: Wrongful disposal of tampons! You do NOT throw those in the toilet, sir!

[@Aztyph]

As a janitor that has had to deal with this problem on the odd occasion, I wholeheartedly agree with this. Those things do *not* flush down the toilet, and getting them out is just gross. Well, back to eating my pizza.

[@jessip8654]

Dealt with a flooded basement because of this (wasn't me, a roommate did it). Put 'em in the trash can, man.

[@Neko141212]

ew o.o

[@DocKrazy]

Amen to that!

[@FeyPhantom]

Glad someone brought it up! That's all I could think about when he was talking about the scene. "Seriously, he threw it in the toilet?"

[@amypatterson7395]

Dominic in 2017: "I WILL NOT be reviewing the sequels." Me, in 2020, looking at Dominic's 11-part Fifty Shades of Grey Playlist: "Hm."

[@heyitscj7726]

Not to mention he also said in this vid that he would never do Twilight... hehe

[@shinyagumon7015]

@@heyitscj7726 He said he wouldn't do it anytime soon and he didn't do Twilight until 2020.

[@geomania8533]

@@shinyagumon7015 least Twilight isn’t as bad as this. (Even though I hate Twilight with a passion due to how stupid they make werewolves and vampires) BECAUSE AT LEAST EDWARD ASKED FOR CONSENT TO MAKE LOVE WITH BELLA

[@stardustworlds1493]

​@@geomania8533 they are both stalkers though

[@erikbihari3625]

​@@stardustworlds1493. Good to see Robert Pattinson is in a better place now.😊

[@jessicafuller7359]

"This author doesn't know what words mean" can probably sum up the entire trilogy tbh

[@iwakeupandboomimarat]

“Do I afraid you?” he asked as he licked his eyebrows. she definitely doesn’t know how words work

[@rolosilver3256]

IS THAT IN THE BOOKS?!​@@iwakeupandboomimarat

[@susanscott8653]

She clearly doesn't know the meaning of the word "romance". 🙄

[@jebediahhonker-tonker5901]

When you're a 16-year-old virgin and you've written better fanfiction than this

[@batmangeek1019]

Jebediah Honker-Tonker right 😂 XD

[@malcfoy]

Mood

[@yyoveltube]

Major mood

[@missmoxie9188]

Thank you

[@joshuasweetman4903]

Fan Fiction Account? 😂

[@jpelletier03]

I can say, as a woman, that tampon scene freaks me out for one very straightforward reason . . . WHO DOES THAT??? I swear EL James has to be the only author in the world who could so casually believe yanking out someone's tampon is a nice slid into an erotic scene. Edit: Bonus? You don't throw tampons in the toilet . . .

[@CaribouGutSludge]

"Babe... you don't mind if i...?" _yOINK_

[@jpelletier03]

@@CaribouGutSludge lol you . . . made me laugh.

[@sagepressley7351]

My friend read me the scene saying it was sooooo sexy and I actually almost puked thinking how uncomfortable someone else pulling out my tampon would be... 🤢

[@emmad4308]

All I can think of is that teen Vogue or similar story where a teen girl accidentally had her tampon string hanging out of her shorts, boyfriend thought he was being helpful by getting rid of the string from her shorts. He got a bit of a surprise.

[@franziska9260]

@@emmad4308 pretty sure neither of them thought that was sexy though, gods almighty. I'd never have sex much less a relationship with a guy who'd mess with personal hygiene products

[@briar5]

My sister is a dom & was PISSED when this book got popular. She’s followed my moms footsteps in educating us in embracing our own sexuality at our own pace & being safe in experimenting. The biggest thing that has been drilled into the very fiber of our beings is *CONSENT!!!!!* Like damn I knew this book was shit but THIS IS JUST HORRIBLE

[@ajl2232]

The whole thing is a messy I don't understand how it took this long for people to figure it out.

[@geomania8533]

Most people don’t realize what’s healthy and unhealthy til they see it on the big screen how unhealthy this relationship is. Relationships take time and care to form over 2 people. They have to understand each other and learn about one another. Finding their likes and dislikes and comforts and discomforts. Relationships aren’t a game, their meant to be cherished and respected. It’s not about the love making, it’s about understanding each other on a deeper personal level that makes you happy and loved when you have someone who can understand your hardships and goes out their way to help or comfort you if your in a situation where you feel these hardships take hold.

[@dajtoad1]

It was when the idea started to emerge that a BDSM ‘kink’ had to emerge from some kind of trauma and was curable with the love of a good woman that I put the book down, red with rage. That is NOT what BDSM is (as most eloquently expressed in this video). It can be hot AF, provided BOTH parties are into it.

[@erikbihari3625]

​​​@@dajtoad1. Basically this type of relationship requires someone who loves dishing it out, and another who can take it? I searched real bdsm people react to these!

[@dajtoad1]

@@erikbihari3625 Exactly. It’s a fun and desirable activity for BOTH. In fact, many fairly ‘vanilla’ people like to dabble in a bit of simple bondage for variation. Again, only exciting if BOTH want it.

[@margarethanetherton7273]

Wiat so he flushed the tampon down the toilet? First of all ewww. Second of all....ladies, do not flush ur tampons. U know the little trash can on the side of every stall? That's what its there for! E.L. James should know better.

[@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick]

Margaretha Netherton Yeah, it’s like flushing paper towels or sponges down the toilet. Generally, it’s not smart to flush things down the toilet if they’re meant to be absorbent.

[@petercross1879]

She's probably one of those feminazis that eats period blood pancakes

[@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick]

Peter Cross Never use the term “feminazi”.

[@petercross1879]

@@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick why not?

[@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick]

Peter Cross Because. There’s nothing about supporting the rights and dignity of women that’s remotely similar to a Nazi. It’s a derogatory term used by the alt-right and anti-feminists, neither of which are mutually exclusive, and neither of which should be taken seriously or encouraged.

[@niamhcorrigan3972]

I hate that "trigger warning" has become a joke to people. I've stopped using the word "triggers" when talking about my panic attacks bc people always stop listening and assume I'm just whining after seeing that word in there. THIS is what trigger warnings are supposed to be.

[@msjkramey]

Niamh Corrigan do the trigger warnings ever upset you more than the videos? Because that's how I am sometimes. Like this main video was fine because it was totally fictional. But the warning was upsetting because I'm like "oh yeah, this stuff is real, too... Now I'm going to have to remember real things I've been through"

[@aeveos]

Niamh Corrigan ok I have a question. I'm a fanfic writer and a few of my characters are abuse survivors. I put trigger warnings on any chapters where that comes up or the effects of that. Is that the right way to use triggers? Like, I'll trigger "panic attacks, mentions of self harm, abuse...". I want to make sure I'm using them correctly.

[@katharineeavan9705]

As far as I'm aware, that is the correct way to trigger warn. Some people go an extra step and use a vague warning like 'PTSD' and then more explicitly describe the potential triggers in an end note for people who have triggers but may be fine with the content. It's really pretty discretionary, use your best judgement and be mindful of your readers, taking on board any concerns they express to you. No one can really ask more.

[@AshenAlbaz0079]

Niamh Corrigan I think why people get annoyed so much by the addings of trigger warnings is cause when the sjw crowd got a hold of it they killed the idea of it so now people think of other using trigger warning as radfems instead of legit trying to warn people about suggestive content (like another form of parental advisory or viewer discretion)

[@moveslikemacca]

Niamh Corrigan - I have epilepsy & I am very appreciative of trigger warnings lol

[@floppy280]

One of my favorite pieces of advice about writing sex scenes: "Giving a reader a sex scene that is only half right is like giving her half of a kitten. It is not half as cute as a whole kitten; it is a bloody, godawful mess."

[@jaysea5939]

Haha, that's fantastic.

[@sarahgent2674]

floppy280 YES! How NOT to Write a Novel is one of my favourite books!

[@Asset80]

floppy280 which half would be most traumatizing to give :(

[@PhyreI3ird]

+Sarah Gent TerribleWritingAdvice is a great KZbin channel that you might like then.. or maybe not because it might have a lot of the same stuff X3

[@Asset80]

Locutette lmao u rite

[@crazycookie4645]

Some lady I work with likes Fifty Shades of Grey and actually argued with me when I told her about Grey constantly demanding to know where Ana is by saying, "Well, I always tell my husband where I'm going." She walked off before I could tell her that there is a massive difference between telling your husband where you are of your own accord, and you're husband DEMANDING to know where you are at all times.

[@Xehanort10]

And there's a difference between a woman's husband and a guy she barely knows who's obsessively stalking her.

[@geomania8533]

Yea one is someone who they know and the other is a creepy person who would likely knock you out and steal your kidneys.

[@erikbihari3625]

​@@geomania8533. Or do any other number of despicable things like physically abusing her, oh wait!

[@amandawade7803]

@@Xehanort10 Even a husband can stalk a wife obsessively, turning him into a creep. For me the main difference is she openly consented to tell her husband where she is, instead of her husband figuring it out without her consent behind her back.

[@Xehanort10]

@@amandawade7803 Yeah there can be creepy obsessive husbands and wives too.

[@MrsManics]

As someone who has been abused by her own Christian Grey, THANK YOU FOR THIS. It breaks my heart every time someone tells me they think Fifty Shades is a love story. I've even had fans of the books tell me that I wasn't really abused, if my ex was anything like Christian. One even told me that I "just wasn't good enough to change him." I honestly despise EL James for these horrific pieces of garbage and I think they have the capacity to be incredibly dangerous, given the abhorrent myths they promote to readers.

[@marieverdi4063]

As the daughter of a woman in a terrible domestic abuse relationship I wish you nothing but happiness and an online hug (Yeah I'm weird xD). But honestly they have such NERVE to say such things. I wouldn't wish bad upon anyone, but if they experienced this, they would change their tune.

[@MrsManics]

Completely agree!! I tell every person who says they wish they could find their own Christian Grey, that I hope they never, ever meet him. They'd be changing their tune, pretty fast!

[@tiaramizu]

[@MrsManics]

I'm in a much, much happier place, thank you! :-) I had extensive support from an amazing abuse charity and now I use my spare time helping to raise awareness of what abuse actually is. I even wrote a semi-autobiographical novel in response to Fifty Shades, telling the story of what life with someone like that really feels like. So, I'm doing loads better, now. :-)

[@lissawho4974]

I am so glad you are in a batter place. Stuff like that makes me sick. That's one of the huge issues with this book.

[@bethanynorris1287]

I think what really angers me is that the book treats this like a romance, you can write a book where horrible abusive relationships happen, but at least acknowledge that it isn't love, and that people in real life should not want this kind of relationship.

[@topidopey262]

Bethany Norris I agree. Btw I love your profile pic

[@bethanynorris1287]

Thank you!

[@fr4225]

100% agreed and your pfp is giving me life

[@michael3263]

Bethany Norris Where do you get off assuming that you know what's best for everyone! I know couples like this and they would be deeply offended by your characterization of all dom-sub relationships as "abusive". Why don't you worry about what works for you and let others figure out what works for them. Believe it or not there are plenty of loving, successful relationships out there that don't fit into your vanilla cookie cutter idea of what love should be like.

[@juliamavroidi8601]

It's not so much that pulling out a tampon without asking is emotionally invasive (even though I totally get that stance), it's that pulling out a tampon that isn't fully soaked through HURTS AS FUCK

[@annscott1926]

Julia Mavroidi Right? I totally cried the one time I was dumb enough to pull a dry one out as a teen.

[@kellymoran7644]

Julia Mavroidi Also, he throws it INTO THE TOILET!!! That's not what you're supposed to do! Even my dad, who refuses to acknowledge the fact that I get a period, knows this!

[@lyricbot8513]

Julia Mavroidi wait what's this about refusing to acknowledge you get a period...?

[@kellymoran7644]

Yo Kennedy My dad and I just have an unspoken agreement that I go to mom about stuff like that, and leave him out of it. stuff like that squicks him out *rolls eyes*

[@somedragonbastard]

Julia Mavroidi That's why I still haven't used tampons for more than 7 minutes. Thankfully, the 2nd time, I waited until I bled enough to pull it out easily.

[@ellendallanora7404]

You know, my mother used to read these books when I was a bit too young to know what they were, so she made me believe that it was about a serial-killer billionaire who had fifty personalities and committed murders related to this number. She also told me that Anastasia was the police officer investigating the killings. I was so disappointed when I saw the real book summary on the internet about some months afterward... Edit: I am so surprised this comment got track! I recently showed these replies to my mom, and she had a blast!

[@skyslasher2297]

No gonna lie that sounds like a much cooler book

[@Xehanort10]

What you thought it was sounds better than it actually is.

[@chloeclover4223]

This just begs the question of why your mother would read that mess instead of writing an award winning novel that actually deserved a movie adaption and massive fanbase

[@WalkmanWillWalkAllOverYou]

Tell your Mother to write THAT.

[@catandrobbyflores]

God I would love to read that!

[@japanesemyth]

wow, a legit trigger warning, non-demonization of asexuals, and actual knowledge of consent in kinks within a few minutes? book reviews!? I am sold sir.

[@mollymcdade4031]

japanesemyth I don’t think he was right to call Anna asexual, because I think he meant either a celibate / virgin. I’m asexual and it means we don’t feel the need or desire to have sex, while Anna apparently does

[@japanesemyth]

Tilda Adade I am also asexual. The possibility seems more likely that Anna is grey or demi but I'm just happy that a decent KZbinr doesn't view us as disgusting, inhuman, or unnatural. Or villainous. The amount of media that contributes to that viewpoint is fucking disheartening.

[@japanesemyth]

Tilda Adade I'd also like to clear up that asexuality only means a lack of sexual attraction. There are asexuals that enjoy sex and some that don't.

[@ASMRBookclub]

I'm late to reply, but having read the book, I think he meant that she seems to have been asexual up to that point in her life because she explicitly says that she's never been attracted to anyone in her life. Never had a sex dream, never masturbated, never had a sexual thought in her life. Then Christian walks in and bam! She's a sex machine. It's not impossible, some people have sexual awakenings later in life, and at 21 is perfectly believable, but given that "young virgin falling in love with an older experienced man" is already such a cliché in romance literature, it's frustrating that she turned that cliché up to 11. It also makes Ana seem VERY immature, she can't even have a conversation about sex without blushing and wanting to leave the room, so when Christian wants to introduce all that kinky sex in her life, it's even more disturbing because it's clear she doesn't have the sexual maturity to consent. Sorry about the long reply, but it's been a common critic of FSOG that Ana did seem basically asexual until Christian waltzed in, and emphasizes how much our society values women being completely "pure" until they meet the "right man". Le sigh

[@sophiagoodman-merel7453]

The true definition of asexual is not what the first two people said, actually. Asexual means you don't experience *sexual attraction* . It *does not* mean you don't want sex. There are asexuals who do have and crave sex. This is a common misconception. I'm asexual and I have discussed this with many other asexuals through forums, making sure to educate myself well, so you can trust my information in the subject. E.L. James probably didn't have asexuality in mind for Ana as the "author" clearly is entirely ignorant of the topic of sexuality and kinks, but in the previous video where The Dom describes the plot, he says that Ana was never aroused or sexually attracted to anyone, nor did she ever have an interest in sex until she met Christian Grey. This is consistent with asexuals up until the Christian Grey completely changing that part. Perhaps Ana is grey-asexual (she's definitely not demisexual since she doesn't know anything about Grey so there's no emotional connection), and yes I see the irony in grey-asexual and Grey. Grey-asexual simply means sexual attraction is rare.

[@rosienut]

If a guy tore out my tampon I would genuinely never speak to him again like absolutely not

[@gandalfisverypissed4391]

I don´t understand how a woman could write that, and how other women could think that it is endearing in anyway. it crosses the line so much i genuinely want to curl into a ball because it is so envasive

[@rosienut]

Sofia Bergström like thats my tampon man. Its there for a reason. I need it

[@bodomfucked]

I'm sorry if any man did that too me I'd break his fucking face.

[@jasfay7219]

Rosie haha did that happen in the books?

[@jasfay7219]

Rosie oh never mind, I just watched the rest of the video

[@czardeaner7713]

He's the Dom, we're the subs lol

[@Aztyph]

If that was intentional on his part, then that is absolute *genius*.

[@ThierryRocksTV]

*Slow clap*

[@StCerberusEngel]

Whatever you want to believe, bud. ;D

[@arianafox365]

Gold star!

[@star3catcherSEQUEL]

OoooooOOOOHHHH!!!

[@6WaysFromNextWed]

The Beatles: "She was just seventeen, you know what I mean." Me: "I don't, actually, but I'm worried I'll seem sheltered unless I pretend that I totally know what you mean." Avril Lavigne: "He was a boy. She was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious?" Me: "I feel like I've been given insufficient information to reach the conclusion you want me to reach." E. L. James: "I'm gonna make his sweat pants hang *in that way*." Me: "I'm starting to feel like the whole universe is full of secret knowledge that only I am not privy to."

[@Arkylie]

You have just encapsulated a significant chunk of my life. I actually played *Kingdom of Loathing* for several years, enjoying it specifically as a barometer of how well I could "get" (and analyze) media references: The game is a giant ball of references and word play, and I love word play, but the references made it somewhat of a crash course in popular media (and innuendos). But yeah, the world having a baseline understanding of Things I Don't Get has been most of my life to date (and I typically find a lot of boundaries only after someone is mad at me for not knowing in advance that the boundary exists -- tact has been a hard skill for me).

[@valhund2629]

Honestly a mood

[@niai69]

I get this kinda thing a lot, but I'm starting to suspect I may be autistic.

[@SingingSealRiana]

Sounds both very relatable and slightly autistic .... Since I am autistic

[@justaghostinthesea]

Felt this one spiritually

[@randomname3790]

Oh my god… Do you guys realize what has been done?!?! We found a love story… WORSE. THAN. TWILIGHT.

[@user-ib2pt9vt3g]

Random Name the only story that could ever be worse than twilight would be that which is based on Twilight...

[@iwakeupandboomimarat]

oh my goooOOOOOOOOD

[@dadgbe4834]

holy shit

[@arrowthearcher471]

*DRAMATIC GASP*

[@ferchii13]

Lol both are as bad i wonder how can this be NEWYORK TIMES BESTSELLER i can understand if this book is treated as like crime novel not romance 😂

[@nelixsulu6201]

Just from reading the book, Ana seemed very.... drained. Emotionally, mentally, and especially physically. That’s not what love is.

[@brokenpieces5852]

Nelix Sulu I’ve been in a toxic friendship and that alone could be draining.

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

I blame Wuthering Fucking Heights and Byron. And at least in Wuthering Heights they were both essentially awful and deserved each other. I just can't stand romanticising twits like these. Jane Eyre (the book) can go suck it as well. And Mr Darcy can just go drown himself in that damn pond, to boot.

[@bicarbonat1]

@@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 And _that's_ why Wuthering Heights is still one of my favorite classics. Everybody was fucking miserable thanks to nature and/or nurture, and Cathy & Heathcliff were the prom queen and king of "This Isn't Going To End Well".

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

@@bicarbonat1 LOL nicely put. It's such an angry book. I never understood women swooning over that pair, but I guess both then and now they represent the absolute spirit of rebellion. In that sense it's really quite subversive - and, unlike this Twihard/Fifty Shades nonsense Cathy and Heathcliff ARE basically equals in mood, desire and contempt....

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

@@Talisguy Don't worry, you're speaking with an Austen fan. Your last paragraph more stands with my own opinion of that book in particular - I don't think the endless adaptations which really sensationalise his early behaviour (the sexual tension of it all! Look, here he is literally walking towards her sexily clad and dripping wet! Metaphor, anyone?) have helped matters. I hope you could see the humour in my OP too ;-)

[@remingtomi8212]

The one "love" story not better than Twilight.

[@Linhdoesstuff]

It's also a fanfiction of Twilight, so...

[@truebornseeker9767]

For once

[@haydenpatterson4720]

Edward in Twilight is just creepy and emotionally abusive. Christian Grey in Fifty Shades of Plagiarism and Abuse is creepy, emotionally abusive, and physically abusive.

[@Linhdoesstuff]

@@haydenpatterson4720 Not any better but Edward didn't physically beat Bella? He's still a dick though...

[@depressedbreakfast2614]

Fuck Edward and Jacob. I’m team Bella, she doesn’t need no man! Twilight is a nightmare.

[@adam_nathan]

Bisexual mn here: wearing sweatpants “that way” almost certainly means the way men sometimes put their sweatpants really low on their hips so you can see the space between the obliques and the hips.

[@M11969]

I call them thumb slots.

[@beriasims1869]

@Cassandra Where is that line from? Because I would love to read that book.

[@julietfischer5056]

@@beriasims1869 - Unless that turns out to be the best line in the book.

[@beriasims1869]

@@julietfischer5056 I would read it just for that line.

[@choronos]

The "dick root." I've heard some women call it "the 'v'"

[@Leechwife]

You know who gets away with telling men "You are like a brother to me"? Cersei Lannister.

[@agneskaasnielsen3828]

Terrible Katherine That was beautiful

[@Leechwife]

Ginny Weasley All I can say is.....facepalm.

[@LukeZwarteVacht]

Yes, that is the joke.

[@l.tc.5032]

This isn't a joke.

[@Leechwife]

L. T C. Fuck off 👍

[@Scheherazade-pr4jt]

You know what's weird? I remember once reading a Twilight fanfiction where Edward and Bella had a BDSM relationship. This was before Fifty Shades was ever published. I was only 15 at the time and had no idea what BDSM even really was but I remember enjoying the story nonetheless. At the time, I thought it was well written, I remember Edward and Bella being way more interesting and complex than Stephenie Meyer had ever written them and this fanfic even introduced me to a new poet. When The Dom made his point about aftercare being an important aspect of a dom/sub relationship, I remembered that fanfic because I remember there being scenes where Edward bathed and treated Bella after any spankings, clearly showing that this author knew something about BDSM. I can't remember the story title or author but it just makes me sad thinking that there was once a much better version of this type of story out there that never saw daylight while this steaming pile of dogshit sold millions.

[@agirlinsearchof9057]

A good Twilight fanfiction? Hm! I’m pleasantly surprised!

[@Emsicle3D]

@@agirlinsearchof9057 There's definitely some good Twilight fanfics out there, you just got to look in the right place. It helps that the fandom has had a recent resurgence and now everyone just fixes the saga in various ways.

[@TemariNaraannaschatz]

@@Emsicle3D Considering how many interesting side characters the Twlight Saga has, I'm sure there is some amazing fanfiction covering those alone.

[@TemariNaraannaschatz]

@ I have read more fanfiction than actual books at this point (I mean they are free after all) and there are complete novels out there that sometimes have little to do with the source material and that are better written than published novels that are far better than twilight. Also a lot of authors put out original content on fancition sides aswell. Actually the only common base that has explict content on fanfiction is ao3 and the explict content isn't even a lot if you compare it to the other parts (not rates, general audiences, mature and teen and up) with generally teen and up making the majority of all fancition in general. So it's mostly small stuff like non-explicit shipping. Aka what if they lived today, what if they were at Hogwarts or right now there are a lot of trick-or-treat/ Halloween party storys. Not saying there isn't smut/pwp stuff out there, because there is a lot out there, but it's not even a quarter of the fanfictions out there. Most sides also completly fobid publishing any postive take on child pornography. Most actually don't allow any explicit sexual content. Like you can write about horrible things happening as part of the story, but not in a postive light, aka the child likes it. And isn't mlp my little pony? How can that even have child porn? Those are literally ponys.

@@TemariNaraannaschatz I seen a picture of sweetie belle, a Definitive Child kissing fluttershy who's obviously a teenager! Who has an angel named(ironically) white rabbit, wanna see how deep the 🐰/🕳 goes? Darker=perverted.

[@annacarolin8087]

Books like this are so freaking dangerous. A friend of mine (she's 17) is in a relationship with an absolute douchebag who treats her like garbage but hey, getting "spanked", forbidden normal interactions with guys and constant harassment is portrayed as normal in her favourite book, so everything's fine. I'm so upset over this novel, the hype around it and the complete blindness some people have in regards of the emotional and physical abuse. (Hope what I said made sense, english isn't my first language)

[@cupcakelolita7890]

It made complete sense. I also had a friend in high school who said that stalking was cute if it wasn't a creep because it just means "he really wants to be with you." Her favorite book was Twilight....

[@Crimson_Cheetah]

Anna Carolin That's awful! This poor excuse for a book is awful! And I think your English is just fine. 😀

[@LukeZwarteVacht]

MSU studied 650 women aged 18 - 24 and found that fans of "50 Shades of Grey" were 25% - 34% more likely to be in an abusive relationship than non-fans. The study was published in the Women's Health Journal.

[@zigaudrey]

The same effect hapenned on the source the book was inspired, Twilight. There was an article about Woman's shelter. twilight-sucks.livejournal.com/511586.html#cutid1

[@Hekateras]

I had a similar experience, though thankfully brief. I was in college when the movie came out and everyone was talking about it, and we ended up in a (mostly girls) class discussion about it, including with the (male) professor (it sort of made sense for the class topic).They kept trying to tell me that Ana "comes to enjoy it" and "consented to it" and that's why what Christian does is okay. I tried to bring up the clearly unequal power dynamics and how Ana is clearly only just tolerating the BDSM for his sake but was talked over. The professor even made jokes about how Christian was the real victim because he ended up being "roped into marriage" (even though HE is the one who pushes for tying her down). Disgusting. It was this weird moment of "wow, you all seemed like nice and normal people before this day, but clearly I can't actually trust you not to have fucked up views of relationships and men and women".

[@MailOrderNerd]

I remember my mom reading these when I was like 14 or 15 and she casually mentioned to me that she was reading a book about BDSM. Now, my mom is borderline ace so I couldn't imagine her ever being into it, and she actually said something along the lines of "If you ever treat a woman the way Christian treats Ana, you will no longer be my son." So, me being curious, I looked into the books and I was just as appalled as my mom was. Glad to see I'm not the weird one here.

[@katethemathnerd]

Your mom sounds like a badass!

[@SingingSealRiana]

Brutal, but she has a solid point!

[@my_girl_seraphine5294]

Your mother sounds absolutely amazing, my friend

[@radschele1815]

And it's not bdsm. Just wanted to add this. This book is the opposite of it

[@erikbihari3625]

@@katethemathnerd. We'll see.

[@annienunyabiz6627]

You tearing this toxic and disgusting book apart is a thing of pure beauty. I have never found a man sexier in my life.

[@thomastakesatollforthedark2231]

I did, two. Onr has one eye and is in ravenclaw and the other has a hat, magic gun, and is only when he does a yugioh cosplay

[@lolnahnvm208]

Looks like the virtue signalling worked!

[@RileyRivalle2]

@Jacob Campbell I don't think that term means what you think it means.

[@Skye_Writer]

AGREED!!

[@lolnahnvm208]

@@RileyRivalle2 it means exactly what I said it means, but you're the kind that likes to redefine terms until they mean what you want them to mean.

[@Valkyrie_Thorn]

If Fifty Shades of Grey is a love story, I'm a bacon sandwich with cheese and guacamole.

[@aliyah2393]

Valkyrie Thorn yeah and I’m a MAN!

[@saschamayer4050]

Hmmm, bacon... 😋🥓

[@BigMamaDaveX]

Guacamole extra. 😏😉

[@aidoll3692]

No offense but now i wish it was. Late night munchies man...

[@MisterMike101]

Can I eat you ? Wink wink

[@Boogidy]

This book would make a better psychological horror than erotic novel.

[@Toneill029]

Sarah Luckie It would be so much better and it has elements of a potentially dramatic and heart breaking romance but it's so poorly structured and designed that it falls flat and comes out as garbage. Honestly take out a ton of useless and frankly horrifying parts, and add in actual good character development and interesting plot structures it frankly would be deserving of its best seller status.

[@emmae2520]

That sounds like the idea behind Killing Stalking

[@svnhddbst8968]

the story of things surrounding this story is a psychological horror.

[@Toneill029]

svnhddbst Yep and people want it to happen to them.

[@whensomethingcriesagain]

Like a role reversal of Misery, whether the kidnapper is the famous one

[@sarasthoughts]

Say it with me : NOT SAYING "NO" DOESN'T MEAN CONSENT CONSENT HAS TO BE EXPLICIT AND ENTHUSIASTIC

[@lizanna6390]

I'm so sick of hearing consent is sexy, no it's necessary. Enthusiasm is sexy.

[@thequeenofcringe1585]

@@lizanna6390 things that are necessary can also be sexy.

[@Ghalaghor_McAllistor]

Not being able to say your safeword because your "dom" keeps your mouth shut or prevents you from talking at all is sexual harrassment bordering on rape.

[@jadecoolness101]

@@lizanna6390 Consent requires enthusiasm, honestly... It's sad that the BARE MINIMUM is considered "s3xy" and not... just.. THE MINIMUM

[@phishcatt]

Amen.

[@shellithomas7222]

I hate to say it but I was that naive girl who believed this shit was romance and ended up in an abusive relationship for years... Thank god I finally realized the truth and got out!

[@g.strobl4458]

Glad you made it out. Hope your next relationship works out better. :)

[@missdanae1992]

I'm happy that you're ok

[@emiledlund9559]

Glad you’re doin’ better

[@j.c.2240]

May your example help others too

[@dididogster9994]

story as well, there's a younger chick in my school who has boasted about "watching a girl sleep" at camp as well as stalking her. Weird shit.

[@mercop1472]

Respect for the trigger warning.

[@ButtercheeseYay]

About that bit were a woman tells a man they are like a brother to them: I do understand how certain men would not want to hear that, but on the flip side (and that is obviously just my view on it and I don't claim that most if even all women feel like this) this is an effective way to establish borders. Way too often have I found myself in a situation were a male "friend" of mine made sexual advances towards me even though I never even remotely felt about them that way or even suspected them to feel about myself like this. So if it means that I have to ever so slightly hurt my friend's ego by calling him my brother just to make abudantly clear that his chances of potentially scoring with me is basically zero, then so be it. It's not about telling someone they are not generally sexually desirable, it's just that I feel platonic love for them and want to only keep it platonic. So if the person in question thinks that they are less sexy for it, then it's on them. You know, sender and receiver communication model. And let's not forget that me considering a friend family of mine is really rare and that they should feel fucking honored about that.

[@kajamiletic3223]

Yeah, now that I think about it, his argument is "We hate it because it sounds like we don't have even a theoretical chance of scoring with you" and that's *exactly what it means* so, yeah.

[@mastermarkus5307]

Agreed. I thought that complaint was weird. Not to mention that saying "You're like a brother to me" to another man is like, the most intimate thing you can say to a friend without it being sexual, so why should it be the absolute opposite with a woman just because you're attracted to women? What Dom said kind of made me think of "Friendzone" memes, to which my response was almost always "Oh boo hoo, a girl doesn't want to fuck you, like that never happens!" Even if a girl didn't call a guy "like a brother to her" it doesn't mean that he's definitely on the table for sex when she wants it. If you're in a friendship where you're just passively waiting to have the person agree to have sex with you, you're not being a good friend.

[@RoseWaltz]

I told a guy friend of mine that he was like a brother to me, and he appreciated it. I didn't tell it to him to shut him down sexually, since we both don't feel that way about each other. I told him because we have a good, strong friendship of support, a love of bad '80s cartoons and mutual insults. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb and all that. (Don't get me wrong, I still love my sibling brother.)

[@fayettevillain1171]

I told my male best friend this and he was happy because he's not a creep and he doesn't want to get with me. He actually was the one who friendzoned me first haha!

[@ThierryRocksTV]

I don't mind girls seeing me as being like a brother I find it complimenting :)

[@pokaay3163]

“I’ll address the infamous tampon scene” Me, who’s never read or watched FSOG and never delved into anything about it until now: *0.0*

[@kittyjeany]

I never saw a man, that uses trigger warnings correctly, was sharing my opinion on 50 shades and screams about it half an hour with classical music in the background and somehow is insanely charming while doing so until this video. I love it. Youve got a sub(scriber *cough*)

[@2000Quatsch]

Exactly my thoughts.

[@ashmondthesoutherntrashmon2210]

This. This is what we nee more of internet!

[@orestis9575]

ITS JUST MALEDOM PORN,AND A LIGHT MALEDOM TO BE HONEST,ITS GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH ABUSE! ITS GOT EVERYTHING TO DO WITH SEX!

[@user-rr8yi9zg2k]

@@orestis9575 Bruh so many members of the BDSM community has called the actions in this book abusive idk how you still haven't got the memo

[@thelostonetxt8450]

Damn my future comment verbatim!!

[@JamieBarrington]

"His sweatpants were hanging off his legs...that way. What does that mean?!!!" This made my day! 😂😂😂😂😂

[@dustyrose192]

@Brina Owens I fucking dont! I have no clue what this cluess moron means at all!

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

@@dustyrose192 I know! Is she talking about some kind of pitching a tent scenario? I just don't get it! I mean, there's a waistband, so maybe it's a low-rider situation... goddamn this makes my head hurt! Sweatpants don't hang, they just sit there! That's, like, the point of sweatpants! Aargh!!

[@CM-uq8ro]

Pretty sure she's talking about v lines

[@americangamer7661]

I busted out laughing when he said that.

[@skylx0812]

As an uncle and former babysitter that tells me his diaper is full and I have to change it before his mom comes to pick the kid up.

[@leonardoives7076]

I disagree with "never tell a guy he's like a brother to you". I feel really chuffed and special when a girl says to me that she feels safe enough around me and trusts me enough to consider me a brother.

[@asherikamichaela8425]

Agreed. Not to mention that allowing them to have that "possibility" hanging around can lead a lot of desperately infatuated people (since anyone with sexual/romantic drive can experience this) into thinking there might be a chance someday, so they keep holding on to that "hope." Which, of course, not only inevitably damages their relationship with the person they're nuts for, but just about any chance of a healthy relationship outside of that, since that aforementioned hope usually interferes with moving on.

[@leek.3671]

Good on ya mate 👍🏻 I say this as a lady with a mate whom I consider my bro, it’s always a blessing to have you lot as mates. Keep doing what you doing man 👏🏻

[@geoffreysorkin5774]

Especially if she has a Souther Drawl, or its British equivalent, the Swindon accent.

[@eduardoumanzor8506]

I would prefer that over being what I seemingly I'm; the gay friend, and I'm not gay, just sensitive

[@asherikamichaela8425]

@@eduardoumanzor8506 Anyone can be sensitive, non-hetero or both, and there's nothing wrong with that. 🤗 There is, however, something wrong with being labled as something you aren't because of stereotypes.

[@supermomma634]

Listen my boyfriend is completely comfortable with periods, but I'd end his life if he touched my pads or tampons. No normal person would do that

[@rainworldenthusiast]

Genuinely a worse love story than twilight.

[@arithearies1211]

Irony that it started as a Twilight fanfic where Edward wasn't a vampire but just an abusive billionaire.... And then all the "author" changed was the names of the characters... I'm highly convinced that the only reason Meyer hasn't sued James is because Meyer refuses to read Fifty Shades. Lol

[@thomasraines1396]

Avichal Kaul it started out as a twilight fanfiction.

[@athenajaxon2397]

@@arithearies1211 I'll give Meyer this she's taken all of this like a champ and let the material speak for itself 😂

[@Jenna2k]

At least twilight had vampire fights this didn't.

[@daniboy4153]

Twilight had a plot at least and had stuff happening

[@jamiemcdonald9589]

Whatever your Hogwarts house is, you have earned 50 points for your excellent review of this "novel".

[@kittygoblin2377]

I think he's in Ravenclaw.

[@pennysmith2822]

Devon Greear he is

[@ironicjoke6190]

He is a Ravenclaw like me!

[@jessicaable5095]

More than that, surely!

[@janina2126]

Jamie Blackmarr Dumbledore at the end of the year: For 'The Dom' 100 point to -propally Ravenclaw- for the great Review about this horrible book. * then he Starts talking the whole meal about it being a pitty how it reflects on FanFictions and 16 Year old virgins writing better storys *

[@anonmouse6337]

The best worst thing about the writing is how Anna screams ARGH! during sex, like she's a pirate or something.

[@xRaiofSunshine]

Annie Brown She's probably got the worst booty of all the pirates :P

[@iwakeupandboomimarat]

RaiOfSunshine savage

[@Little1Cave]

Or Charlie Brown. XD

[@bodomfucked]

OMG. I laughed hard as fuck when I read that. Just picture it! Arrr... gimme that booty! Lol

[@KTPinto]

I worked at an adult store when this came out, and I spent a lot of my time explaining what BDSM really is about and how this book was wrong in basically every way possible. Thank you for making this video!

[@haggisa]

Thank you for your service!

[@SingingSealRiana]

as an aro ace I get offended by the inacuracy and misrepresentation for it is jut that bad

[@geomania8533]

Full disclosure, if y’all wanna do something crazy while making love ALWAYS HAVE CONSENT. Otherwise ud get reported and jailed… wait why didn’t Ana ever call the cops on Gray in the book? Why didn’t the people who saw Gray carry Ana to the hotel call the cops when she started screaming? Then again the book only cares about making this look romantic… but it’s not… it’s weird

[@redbeast13]

'If I see anyone seeing posting anything hateful or unnecessarily argumentative they will be permanently banned from the channel'. I just wanna say I think that was very fair and mature of you to start out the video this way. The comment section can be vile at times and actually letting ppl know you'll take no shit is a good way of keeping it civil. Good on you Dom.

[@VforVivaci0us]

I agree this was an incredibly decent thing to do. Next to the reasons you mentioned, I would like to add that this gave me a sense of safety going in to read the comments. I have survived a shitload of abuse myself, and usually comment sections on videos lie this one, are a vile cesspool that make my stomach turn. Due to the Dom mentioning this at the beginning of the video, I felt perfectly safe reading comments here. That is a rare treat for me. :)

[@blinkb4ido]

Redbeast13 it shows he doesn't care about views and subscribers if that means someone is feeling hurt

[@KellieDoll28]

Redbeast13 I agree. Too often comment sections here on YT are trolled relentlessly, and nothing is done about it.

[@alaxel3222]

21:56 You know, if you're masculinity is threatened by a girl offering to buy you pancakes, I'm pretty sure you never had it to begin with.

[@legzfalloffgirl5148]

That's some damn good logic😻😻😻😻

[@chrismanuel9768]

Real men let their daughters put bows in their hair and put makeup on them because they wanna make daddy beautiful. Weak, spineless trolls masquerading as men have to say no homo before wiping their own ass. Christian Gray is the latter. I bet he's afraid to use Siri because he can't have a woman giving him directions.

[@teeriaprather443]

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@colviolet4066]

Free pancakes? Yes please.

[@geomania8533]

Feels stupid to be offended by a girl offering to buy u pancakes. I mean I’ll happily take those pancakes and kindly repay the favor by paying for her food next time.

[@robodragonn9506]

whenever I feel discouraged about the quality of my writing, I think of this review and I'm like "frick man at least it's better than fifty shades"

[@Toneill029]

RoboDragonn Dude I'm basically trying to write my own novel for fun and believe it or not listening to criticism like the dom actually fires me to write. I don't know what it is but hearing people like the dom roast this book really gets my passions following. And no that is not a euphemism.

[@pikapower_kirby]

On the subject of writing and writing advice...I don't know if you watch her, but Jenna Moreci has a KZbin channel all about writing if you ever want tips. I've learned a lot from her videos!

[@Xehanort10]

@RoboDragonn. If bad fanfictions like 50 Shades can get published anything can whether it's good or bad.

[@g.strobl4458]

@@Xehanort10 esp. since there are really, really good fanfic authors out there. It would be disheartening to see this woman's success if there weren't also high-brow novels on sale to even it out.

[@haydenpatterson4720]

No offence, but it doesn't really take a lot to write better than any Fifty Shades books, or anything by E.L. James for that matter.

[@Juliett-A]

"My fear is that some young inexperienced person will read this garbage and think that it's acceptable or romantic." Welcome to the problem with porn.

[@AuroraLalune]

Yeah... I had an ex who did exactly this. ...............

[@dysmissme7343]

* *sighs* *

[@18Hongo]

Not just porn, sadly. There's a wider problem with Hollywood showing unrealistic relationships. Perhaps we shouldn't be so surprised, considering that men like Harvey Weinstein were making these films...

[@DustyyBoi]

@sara gomes i really dont think any mental stable person does

[@cythonyheart3579]

@annaquartz okay no but LGBT wattpad, Tumblr and ao3 fanfiction actually helped educate me on healthy relationships. Especially the lgbt Wattpad authors, ripped the blindfold right off my eyes and forced me to see some hard truths

[@user-tx9fl7lm9z]

This book was so horrible. It was horribly written, horrible plotline, and a horrible "representation" of bdsm. It was just awful and idk how people actually enjoyed it. It is very dangerous and people should not see this as a romance novel.

[@jaybeebartolome8386]

Kids with low self esteem I guess

[@sierrastevens8035]

@@jaybeebartolome8386 and 40 yr old white single moms who don't know what good literature is and can't get any good dick either.

[@riripari2042]

The people who actively went to see the movie were probably a bunch of people who hadn't read the book and thought it would be a sexy movie to watch. Basically a porno one could see at theaters. I think I remember seeing a post somewhere about many theater workers finding all types of penetration items like cucumbers among the trash left behind in these movie playings. No joke.

[@sleepingArisu]

Dom screaming with a calm classic music in the background is beautiful

[@tinakushner1758]

my aesthetic

[@anna-flora999]

Then you might like shoddycasts "the SIENCE" videos, although they are... Faster and shoutier

[@amberrizzi1207]

"I would like to reiterate that all of these characters are scum." For some reason, the look on his face and the way he said it cracked me up!

[@aliyah2393]

Amber Rizzi what scene?

[@anna-flora999]

@@aliyah2393 19:14 for the moment he says it, scene starts slightly before that

[@brenna_marie]

Yay fellow Adam Young fan!!!!!!

[@Gaming_With_Elfie]

"I will *not* be covering the sequel." * looks in my recommended feed * **press X to doubt**

[@AuroraLalune]

Lol

[@thegentlemanwiththemustach1087]

X

[@c.w.simpsonproductions1230]

Fun fact: In 2012, Time magazine named E.L James as one of "The World's 100 Most Influential People." Yeah, let that sink in.

[@whatteamwildcats4033]

StarKiller 56 oh....oh no

[@SamaritanPrime]

TIME Magazine also named Adolf Hitler as Person of the Year for 1938. Let THAT sink in.

[@haydenpatterson4720]

WTF?

[@haydenpatterson4720]

WTF?

[@13swabra]

Little bit late, but as far as the Hitler one goes, I can actually see why they did that. Influential isnt the same thing as being a good person after all, and I think most people can agree that Hitler definitely caused a major change in the world, a horrible change for sure, but it definitely was a change that I think does make some sense as to why he has that spot. (Repeating for Clarity once more, this is NOT saying that I agree with him, just that during that time period he did have a lot of influence that's still felt to this day)

[@mattneff]

"Suffice to say, this was not my only pair of handcuffs." That sentence alone was sexier than anything in the 50 Shades trilogy

[@sadies8100]

Yes it was, and I was not prepared for it. I literally threw my phone. Also, the lack of explanation has left me with so many questions.

[@Kitsune-ld8ry]

Can someone explain please? I didn't get the meaning

[@sadies8100]

@@Kitsune-ld8ry he's saying that he was did BDSM at some point, and that handcuffs were involved.

[@NinjaGidget]

In fairness, that's not a very high standard.

[@chrismanuel9768]

I mean I feel it's pretty obvious he's been in the scene considering his knowledge and passion of the subject

[@dramatischegestalten]

My secret fetish? Hearing people rant about fifty shades.

[@Karategirl5947]

Mine too

[@somethingfunny5571]

Especially English guys

[@cameronjadewallace]

Kinky

[@simonakatsman974]

Same! I listen to this series plus the folding ideas videos at least 5 times a year.

[@chocomelo454]

Steamy.

[@KiteBlackthorn]

As a sub myself it is SOOOOO satisfying seeing someone who actually knows what they’re talking about picking this apart, seriously it’s ridiculous how many people are still defending this drivel even today😫 Edit: my god I adore how angry you get about this, it’s like me arguing with Grey apologists and getting so angry I want to make them eat sand

[@sadies8100]

I know! You'd think if you were going to publish a book and use BDSM as one of the main plot devices, you'd do a bit of fucking research, but apparently not!

[@irishsphinx778]

It’s infuriating that this became so mainstream as a kinky trilogy but had absolutely zero context or understanding for anything BDSM related. Did she get all her information from a bad wiki article? This doesn’t look anything ever remotely like real kink. I get so frustrated trying to reason with those vanilla people that think this is the best thing next to sliced bread.

[@SEReina-gk1kx]

It sounds like she did zero research and only wrote what she THOUGHT bdsm is. I’m a psychology major with an English minor. This entire book infuriates me from the bad writing and grammar to the horrible implications that a bdsm is a mental illness that the right person can cure. No no no. Not to mention that whole scene in the later book that Grey’s counselor tells Ana that she curing him just by in a relationship with him is so disgusting and that counselor should have their license revoked.

[@mophead_xu]

@@sadies8100 honestly from what i heard seems like the actor who played grey (and maybe even the rest of the staff involved in the movie adaptation) did a lot more and better research than james did. i mean, apparently he got in contact with an actual dom who agreed to show him a session with his subs. something that i'd imagine was highly uncomfortable for someone who probably wasn't as familiar with the scene.

[@thequeenofcringe1585]

@@mophead_xu that actor also hated that role, like how Robert Pattinson hated his role as Edward in the Twilight movies. And so the cycle continues.

[@hoyer]

so..this is offensive to, men, women, bdsm, the dom, readers, the English language, muggles and adults?

[@ThierryRocksTV]

Summary: this book sucks ass

[@brodiecrain13]

hoyer don't forget God and other fictional characters. edit: not calling God fictional.

[@ThierryRocksTV]

Brodie Crain I thought you were some edgy fedora tippin' atheist for a second there.

[@brodiecrain13]

I'm meant other famous book characters, God is offended we alliwed 50 shades to exist along with pure flicks

[@toomuchawesomeness5886]

its also offensive to all Slytherins

[@Rikku147]

No sequels, Dom? You'll miss the part where marrying your abuser and accidentally getting pregnant by said abuser turns out to be absolutely emotionally crippling and DANGEROUS to a woman! YES THAT HAPPENS IT GETS WORSE I HATE THESE BOOKS *sigh* My point is... I don't blame you, Dom -_- You've suffered enough.

[@ezelfrancisco1349]

*Re-watching his Fifty Shades Darker videos* Yet, he continues to suffer for us

[@viralknight4602]

And yet he suffers more, as he just put out the fifty shades free review and we shall remind ourselves, that the only one free now is dominic from touching any of these books again.

[@kalainreinard8421]

I just feel it's important that we hate it for the right reasons. Wise words to live by.

[@stareyedwitch]

This might have been said already, but the contract wouldn't help Gray defend against rape charges. Any decent criminal prosecutor would be able to use it against him. Also, writing a contract like that could be grounds for the lawyer to be disbarred in some states. (dis-barring means the lawyer can no longer practice law in that state, and will be brought up any time they attempt to join the bar in another state. Being dis-barred can destroy a lawyer's career.)

[@ImmortalBroken]

I'm pretty sure E.L. James found the contract online and just copied and pasted it (someone searched at one point and found it word for word), so I like to think Grey did the same thing. Also it was a slave contract, not the submissive contract he claims it was. 😡

[@haggisa]

What lawyer? It wasn’t a legal contract, no lawyer would ever write something like that. Dom/sub contracts and master/slave contract are sometimes used in BDSM relationships, but obviously they aren’t legally binding, which Christian knows (even though he of course tried to hide that fact from poor, dumb Ana.)

[@utopua4all]

@@haggisa Um, I never read these books, but maybe the lawyer wrote up the non-disclosure agreement anna signs without reading (and breaks anyway), not the dom/sub contract.

[@wyrmoffastring]

Yay! Proper use of trigger warning!

[@isabellahass7313]

Yoggy Arts nice TES Morrowind profile :)

[@wyrmoffastring]

Yeah, I swapped his colors when I drew him xD so dumb. The speedpaint is on my channel :)

[@celestinenox]

As a person with a uterus and who experiences menstruation, here is what I would find endearing from people of the penis persuasion: --Being unafraid to discuss menstruation and menstrual-related topics, or at the very least not acting like a five-year about it whenever the topic comes up. --Being unafraid and unashamed to buy menstrual products for a uterus-persuasion partner should the need arise. --I've seen reports about teenage boys trying to start a movement where teen boys carry around pads and tampons for their teen girl buddies, if needed, to be helpful and I think this is fucking awesome and shows an incredible amount of maturity. --Being supportive and caring during the bleeding days, taking cues from the person doing the bleeding. Things I would not find endearing: --Plunging one's hands or any other body parts unasked into my bleeding vagina. For any reason.

[@kateworkman921]

"From people of the penis persuasion." I love it. That phrasing is gold.

[@peggyskyler3283]

Yes

[@ReptilianTeaDrinker]

Yeah, 50 Shades is just a story about the abuser and the victim. I have friends who are in the bdsm community and they've told me this is a bad representation of bdsm. Though, even if I didn't have friends who know more about this stuff than me, I'd still know that these books are rubbish and that bdsm isn't really like this.

[@ztslovebird]

InSomniaArmyCheshire MooMooReveLuv To quote Wanda from Fairly OddParents - “I may be naive, but I think she’s doing it wrong.”

[@LarsBlitzer]

My personal headcanon is that Grey worked his way into the BDSM community and was going to events, dated women from there, and participated in scenes, but he went on for far too long while ignoring any correction of his practices. He had the money so he threw his weight around. Eventually he just became "That guy" and was frozen out of events, as well as new people were warned about him. Eventually, no one would do more than talk with him, and even then if they were a young woman they wouldn't talk without someone else as backup. So he concentrated on his "Red Room" and actively looked for a young woman who wasn't even in the scene.

[@gibsonn2018]

LarsBlitzer I like this headcanon but unfortunately E L James is a horrible writer and would never write that because Christian Grey is a Gary Stu who can never do anything wrong.

[@katherinemorelle7115]

The “sweatpants hanging off him that way” thing did immediately make sense to me- basically, low hanging pants that show off the top of his hip bones. Some women find that very attractive.

[@MinMinn192]

She could have just written it like that, then. "His sweatpants hung low, showing off his (insert steamy adjectives) hip bones." Her writing that very simple yet effective description as "that way" is not only immature, but also vague, implying anything from them just being low-waisted to Christian using his dick like a coat hanger.

[@silcrow4045]

Hip bones nice!

[@redjed100]

Then why did she mention his legs as opposed to his hip bones?

[@OverdramaticAngel]

@@redjed100 Because she's a terrible writer.

[@aaroncabatingan5238]

Why didn't she describe THAT then?

[@cermet7276]

_finally someone said it_

[@fr4225]

Aaron Burr AARON BURR, SIR!

[@pallama2255]

Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, sir?

[@RayZerno]

He doesn't want to be in the room where it happened.

[@cermet7276]

FridaysBFun QuitSobbing That depends, who's asking

[@sannaselander1790]

Aaron Burr oh, sure, sir I'm Alexander Hamilton, I'm at your service, sir I have been looking for you

[@Ganychan]

In the Huger Games, Katniss being unaware of the boys' affection for her, is NOT to make her endearing like in other stories, but it's to show that unlike other typical female leads, she doesn't have an interest in romance to begin with, AND she's has more pressing matter on her mind, like her sister, surviving, a war, etc. But I agree with the general point you're making.

[@eyelessbun5785]

Ganychan Thats one of the main reasons I hated the ending of the books. It was litreally the exact opposite of what Katniss wanted.

[@Ganychan]

Actually I disagree: she wanted to survive and be away from the capitol and the games that people played with her. Sure, she didn't get to save some people, but that's the tragedy of it. And she was so caught up in the war and surviving on a daily basis, she never got to think about other things. The ending gives her something new and shows that finally she can afford to think about the future and having kids and being happy, and survive for herself.

[@nicorich2047]

Usually you can say 'at least it was a better love story than Twilight' I don't think this applies here, considering the level abuse.

[@BG12sofia]

This started out as Twilight fanfic. And if Twilight is already fucked up, this takes it to a whole other level.

[@naanmelon7386]

I find it sad that this is a love story and a fan fiction. Although Twilight is hated by almost everyone, it's still a light read for me because a ton of the books I read are very graphic is the form of violence and horror. Compared to Twilight, this is NOT A LOVE STORY at all!

[@SamaritanPrime]

No, you are correct. You cannot make that joke here.

[@littlemissmello]

I remember reading twilight and thinking the behaviour was very much bordering on abusive but this seems to be that times ten

[@LadyLenaki]

When I'm totally stressed out, this video makes me feel better. Having someone rant about how this is abuse, not BDSM, is weirdly soothing.

[@giulianaavila4966]

Omg ME TOO

[@SingingSealRiana]

Yeah, having a man be so pissed about consent and treating your partner right is such a nice break

[@sarahwalter7198]

Nothing is hotter than a man who uses consent

[@ArcadiaSilver]

"How relaxing would it be if some super hot member of the opposite sex was insanely attracted to you." As a lesbian, this is my worst nightmare, frankly

[@krispiecakes9485]

Agreed except I am bi but with a girl freind

[@camelopardalis84]

As a heterosexual, this would also be quite nightmarish to me if I were not attracted to the person myself. I mean I have seen many (stereotypically) super hot men but I wasn't attracted to any of them. I am attracted to men I am attracted to and it has not that much to do with looks.

[@carloszapata847]

You get the point. Right?

[@camelopardalis84]

+Charly III In case you're asking me: Yes.

[@scp--297]

XD Hope it doesn't happen to you then.

[@overwhelmed_cactus6820]

“It’s protected by law... or at least it should be” That made me really sad to be honest, but thank you for making that point.

[@ConversationBomb]

Considering North Carolina just recently made withdrawing consent legal, Dominic's comment is really poignant.

[@bugeyedmonster2]

@@ConversationBomb In Europe, there have been two cases where men took off a condom during sex. Their sexual partners had requested the use of said condom. Both were convicted. (One of rape, the other of 'just assault'.) www.cnn.com/2018/12/20/health/stealthing-germany-sexual-assault-scli-intl/index.html When I read it, I remember thinking, "That wouldn't happen here in the States." The women would probably have been slut-shamed.

[@chrismanuel9768]

It's sex when there's consent. It's rape when there's not. If they say three thrusts in "I've changed my mind", guess what? There's no more consent. So now it's the choice: Stop, because they're not consenting anymore, or continue and be a rapist. There is no reality in which continuing is not rape.

[@honeydew75]

lol when women say "you're like a brother to me" to men the purpose of that more often than not is to do exactly what you said, kill any potential attraction or pursuit and make it clear that there's never going to be anything happening but friendship. especially when men unfortunately tend to develop feelings for their female friends because of seeing friendships with women as a means to an end rather than worthwhile platonic relationships or/and treat normal friendship things coming from women as romantic and therefore develop feelings, it's a great and safe way to establish boundaries, that and calling them bro dude and stuff like that although even that can backfire so calling them a brother is a sure way to do it, very often there are women online asking how to stop the whole "I become friends with men and they end up falling for me" thing and calling them bros and stuff is probably the most common advice given, just wanted to provide another perspective haha

[@leek.3671]

It’s language I use a lot as a female with no interest in relationships but who still wants friends like any person. With male friends it’s extremely common for me to call them bro, or sometimes dude, man or fam. Never really had issues with it aside from two occasions, first was because I was younger and didn’t even know the guy was flirting with me until it was too late (I was EXTREMELY shy, socially awkward and had never actually interacted with a dude in a friendship setting so I may have been a little at fault) and second because the guy couldn’t take a hint even after I explained it to him bluntly. Otherwise this kinda language is probably the best way of setting those boundaries without just being unnecessarily mean or blunt and gives the dude the opportunity to either decide that they want to continue a plutonic friendship or if they want to back away: Good for both sides.

[@Theracooninyourbasement]

Exactly!

[@billuraral1870]

This👏👏👏

[@zaramikazuki8374]

Yep - calling a man "like a brother" is a favorite go-to, to explicitly tell a guy that it will never happen. Of course, coming out to them as gay aro-ace would be the other way... but that's incredibly personal, requires nuanced discussion, and definitely not the preferred first option. If I cannot get it through to them that they have no chance whatsoever, then I'd resolve myself to it, blatantly stating that their entire gender is a no-go. I've been a bit lucky in that I haven't run into any guys who tried beyond that (unlike other lesbians or ace women), but I'd rather not risk it unless I really had to. But alas, I value platonic male friendship (just as I'd value friendship with women and people of other genders), so what am I supposed to do to develop male friendships while killing off any and every chance of them hoping for anything non-platonic?

[@SingingSealRiana]

@@zaramikazuki8374 telling them your aro ace would not help either, I can tell from experience. Even if they know you are never ever attracted to anyone, you smiling at them twice often leads to them getting this mad idea, with them it would be different. That they would be the magic key It is redicioulus, that kinda bs happened to me so often it would be comical if it was not so hurtful for all involved

[@sarahb1862]

I absolutely HATE how James writes about Anna's subconscious and inner goddess. UUUGH... I don't think James understands what subconscious even is.

[@RedHatClub]

Is soo, WTF a woman wrote it but does not have a clue what really goes on in a woman's mind

[@helenanilsson5666]

Well, one woman can't really be representative of all women. And if you're a sub-par writer too shitty to research the BDSM you're basing your entire plot on then you may have some trouble conveying abstract things in a reliable way (such as the going ons in any mind, female or otherwise)

[@laurenbarnes1020]

I don’t think she understands what consent is, what psychological physical and emotional abuse is, how the subconscious mind works, what after care is and the importance. He doesn’t understand a lot and it’s Pretty sad.

[@laurenbarnes1020]

Keelan Barron thank you

[@mightiesttsundere3547]

Not every womans mind is the same so maybe some women could relate

[@9Zandra4]

I just find it amusing how The Dom talks about BDSM. I'll go home now.... *walks away*

[@LadyJaggerX3]

Alex Jones This vid was recommended to me. I thought it was a kink channel. I was seriously misled.

[@nonah908]

Alex Jones same

[@antheathetiefling8581]

Sir Dominic Noble. I am currently Studying Community Services here in Australia (its its kinda like social worker, but not quite. ) My class is currently covering Domestic and Family Violence, i have told my class about these videos as part of how abusive relationships can be highly romanticized in media. I know this is years late but Thank you for all the work you have done into researching this dangerous thing called a book. Including how thoughtful you are in using trigger warnings, being non judgmental about ppl who engage in BDSM properly, as well as your support of shelters. You Sir, truly are Noble.

[@c.w.simpsonproductions1230]

Fun fact: Emilia Clarke(aka Daenerys Targaryen) was offered the role of Anastasia, but ultimately turned it down because she was afraid of being labeled as a nudity actress. This is her direct quote on her reasoning for turning down the role: “Well, Sam is a magician. I love her, and I thought her vision was beautiful. But the last time that I was naked on camera on Game of Thrones was a long time ago, and yet it is the only question that I ever get asked because I am a woman,” Clarke said. “And it’s annoying as hell, and I’m sick and tired of it because I did it for the character-I didn’t do it so some guy could check out my tits, for God’s sake. I did a minimal amount and I’m pigeonholed for life, so me saying yes to that, where the entire thing is about sensuality and sex and being naked and all of that stuff, I was just like, ‘No way am I going to voluntarily walk into that situation.’

[@stansman5461]

To be fair, Emilia is very attractive and it doesn't help that she was portraying a very popular character. I mean, imagine not only seeing your fictional crush be portrayed on TV but also getting the nudity.

[@amyduong9423]

The author is kind of messed up to write something like that. She must actually think rapists are hot.

[@unicorncrossing6376]

Amy Duong EXACTLY

[@trequor]

Ummm she's not alone in that. Ever check out those grocery store romance novels? They feature a lot of rape. Hell, vampires originated as a analogy for rapists and women seem to be super into them

[@starwarslegendscanon4001]

She claims this was a midlife crisis project

[@revolvingworld2676]

Amy Duong Umm...rape fantasies are actually pretty common.

[@rachdiva]

@@trequor WTF👎💩

[@augustkrantz7476]

"I will not be covering the sequels." Oh The Dom, my sweet summer child...

[@akanesaotome5924]

"Love story" so good that even Stephenie Meyer said she don't want to have anything with it, and don't want it to be connected with her book.

[@PolevayaMysh]

AFAIK, Stephenie Meyer didn't like it, because there was "too much sex". Her books were very adamant on that "waiting till marriage" thing. But she didn't comment on the quality of the writing or anything else.

[@akanesaotome5924]

Yeah, but it's still funny since that was twilight fanfic.

[@amberheath6111]

I wrote an essay on the legality of fanfiction and as I recall Meyer didn't have any problem with it on a copyright basis because she saw it as transformative. Since EL James published in the UK whether she could have pursued a copyright violation claim is debatable because the only element from her work that James actually took were the characters, and in the UK characters alone aren't enough to claim copyright. And if you tried it under US law fair use comes into play. But fanfiction in general is a legal grey area because few works have actually been taken all the way to court - at worst all a content creator has to do is send a cease and desist and the fanfic writer usually gets scared off - its what happened back in the day with Star Wars

[@star3catcherSEQUEL]

To be fair, that's likely because Meyer is Mormon as fuck and looks down on kinks, not because she actually understands abuse.

[@lyricbot8513]

akane saotome a Mormon that supports vampires?!

[@scafleet]

I feel like someone should really give him an extra soft and cuddly plushie to help him recover from this series.

[@veravucic3182]

I’m pretty sure Calluna will.

[@SingingSealRiana]

Yeah, he needs aftercare

[@susanne431]

The plot of Fifty shades of grey could easily be rewritten as a thriller. It could be about how Anastasia has a short relationship with Christian Grey before ultimately dumping him because of his abusive behaviour. However after that he just keeps randomly appearing wherever she goes (stalking her) and even starts threatening her when she tries to move on and date other people. Heck it could even be somewhat decent like that!

[@sugaryheaven4089]

You should watch this TV show called "You".

[@bethbaxter2891]

Now that book I would have finished

[@zinkheroofyoutube8004]

Kind of sounds like The Invisible Man reboot

[@justinemoore469]

I feel like 50 shades did for bdsm what 13 reasons why does for teen suicide. God I hate both of these books

[@sarahgent2674]

Justine Moore I read 13 Reasons Why - I thought it was quite good, though to be fair my mental state was much better (so maybe I would notice more inaccuracies if I reread it now) and I was much younger. I'd be interested in your opinion, if you wouldn't mind.

[@imibee5184]

StephenKingfan555, being raped is "everyday, regular teen life"? 13 Reasons Why was flawed in many ways, but calling someone a pussy because they were in such a dark place they killed themselves, that's low. Until you've walked in that person's shoes, please don't judge. And that's coming from a woman who was bullied, sexually and emotionally abused, and who is still having nightmares and anxiety attacks 10 years after. All I'm asking is: don't be too quick to judge.

[@BaeCat872]

Imi Bee How is it low? Sorry but in my mind anyone who kills themselves doesn't deserve any shred of respect. It's always a cowardly and selfish act that doesn't really deserve sensitivity, especially having seen and known people who would have given everything for the time left others just fucking toss away.

[@imibee5184]

BaeCat, I hadn't thought of the people who want to live so badly but don't have much time left, so you're very right here. Thank you for bringing that to my attention. On the other hand, until you've walked the walk of someone who is so much in pain (physical or mental or both) that every second feels like torture, all I'm asking is: don't be too quick to judge.

[@naanmelon7386]

Justine Moore I tried watching the TV show 13 reasons why. I had to stop because all I wanted to do was kill Hanna.

[@hannaholmberg3054]

40 seconds in and I'm already so thankful that you recognize that REAL trigger warnings definietly can be needed for real when discussing sensetive topics.

[@Xehanort10]

And at least he knows the proper meaning of the word triggered unlike the ones who use it as another way of saying offended because they can't handle being called out for saying something shitty and when they get called out start saying people are "snowflakes" and "SJW's."

[@luminamoon6761]

I've literally read fanfiction that has better and more accurate understanding of BDSM than 50 shades. It was even there that I found out that it is CRUCIAL to have things like absolute trust, consent, after care, and stuff like that when it comes to BDSM. This book is such a bad and inaccurate portrayal of something that has and could've been written better.

[@pedroguerrero3862]

That is so true, there a fantasy bdsm series called Mated with a vampire. The series has a more realistic relationship between the couple and the bdsm scene are accurate and are achually exciting compared to 50 shades.

[@talieateste2405]

SAME! I have read so many fanfics that actually describe BDSM very well and have clearly come from research and dedication. It is infuriating to me that the one fanfic that actually became mainstream was something so talentless, ill-researched, and just plain awful. I literally understood the concepts of BDSM better at the age of 15 (when i started reading fanfic lol) than this grown-ass woman does. Ugh!

[@SingingSealRiana]

Honestly, ff is the best source for a lot of things, like proper depictions of healthy and sweet romances that are nut just the same boy meets girl bs media mass regurgitates

[@SingingSealRiana]

I read a better bdsm rep in an star wars ff between a double agent and a villain where they where both used the sex to get information out of the other and when that came out if took a deep dive into noncon..... But in the beginning when both played their role... Informed consent, clearing up kinks and hard limits and all, it was both fascinating and terrifying that something that was waiting to go very very badly did a better job at representing healthy bdsm for 2 encounters, then a story claiming to be a romance that makes bdsm approachable .....

[@tieardragon4919]

Peter Parker was extremely smart though. He was impressive because of his brains not only his power.

[@Alphasnowbordergirl]

Yes, but he didn't usee those brains to become a super hero. If he didn't get bitten, he would have just continued on as a scientist living a quiet life. Batman and Tony used their brains to become a hero

[@cassualtea2040]

Tbh Peter Parker was v book smart but another reason why he was super appealing to young people is because he still does dumb stuff and shit because he's young. His impulse and lack of experience is hilarious. Unrelated but yknow, Spiderman. Loveable dumb genius.

[@anna-flora999]

@@morinomajou Tony's and Batsies money definitely helped them, and enabled them to be heroes, but they also had to put lots of effort into developing their skills and powers themselves. Spiderman, meanwhile, got his powers (and those alone) by accident. Yes, he also put lots of effort into it as well, but he didn't have to work for the things the other two had to work for and vice versa. The rest of what you said of course is still true, I just wanted that Tony and Bruce still put work and effort into it and didn't just ride their inherited money, which I'm sure you didn't mean to imply, but I already wrote this comment and I'd be a waste of time to delete it now, sorry

[@brokenpieces5852]

Blobfish and Cat Studios actually a student in my class discovered the reason why Spider-Man is so relatable is because anyone could be him. Because people don’t know what’s under the mask, it could literally be anyone (yes I know it’s Peter Parker but hear me out). with the number of different spider men and the different people under the mask, it makes it possible so anyone can be spider man and his personality is one that many people can relate to by taking situations seriously while also wise cracking.

[@andrewb6194]

Alphasnowbordergirl Batman only became a hero because his parents got shot. Had that never happened, he’d have turned out differently!

[@Ilikefrogs..]

I haven't actually read this book, but I do have experience with abusers so I know exactly why Christian was so attracted to her. Because abusers choose their victims extremely well. Were Christian Grey a real person, he would've seen Anastasia shy awkward personality as a sign that she would be easily manipulated and controlled and would've chosen her for exactly that reason. I've been lucky enough that the majority of the romance and YA fiction I've read has featured pretty egalitarian relationships between the main characters, but this review has shown me that the majority of them don't, and that is incredibly problematic. What does it teach young women (the majority of romance/fantasy readers) if psychologically and even physically abusive relationships are normalized in mainstream media??

[@MegaKhelditia]

And that actually makes Dom's point about people with low self-esteem much more terrifying--the less value you find in yourself as a person, the more abusers will find value in you as an object of their cruelty. And these are the people finding themselves loving Twilight and Fifty Shades! At such young ages, no less!

[@CyberWarezz05]

I speak from experience too,and you are right.I am a shy and social awkward person,but I am married,and few months ago I met a handsome guy(this Mr.Grey type)that liked me like Grey liked Ana.I liked him too,but not that way,and when I told him,he started to act like a douche.I don't want to offend anybody,but usually beautiful/handsome people can be very manipulative,because they know they have the looks and they can,especially with less attractive people.

[@smritiid3697]

Exactly!

[@brifox]

@@MegaKhelditia To be fair, and I know I'm committing the cardinal sin of the Internet by saying this... Twilight doesn't deserve to be compared to 50 Shades. The prose is far better, the male love interests come off as stupid immature teenagers as opposed to serial abusers and stalkers, some of the fantasy stuff is actually pretty cool, and at least Twilight was more or less an original idea. Also, a fantasy world where vampires sparkle and werewolves shapeshift at will is a far lesser evil compared to the myths and misinformation about real life subjects that show up in 50 shades.

[@MegaKhelditia]

@@brifox True. It makes more sense that the main love interests are predatory in Twilight, since they're either a perpetually youthful centennial bloodsucker or a half wolf. The former gets a pass on acting creepy, since he's not close to human anymore, nor has he been for decades, his only real companions being immortal siblings (kinda). The latter... eh. That scene where he forcefully kissed Bella was unacceptable, but at least Meyer wrote it plainly as such. I have mixed feelings. Lindsay Ellis (Nostlagia Chick, if you knew her by that) has a good video essay regarding Twilight and Stephanie Meyer. It tweaked my view of the series.

[@electricmagnetic]

This book needs to be taught in sex ed classes so that boys and girls both understand the meaning of consent. I would want this book banned but it's not completely useless, it can be used as a bad example of so many things. Edit: just a thought on consent. If a person you're having intercourse with is not making any noises of pleasure just stop for a second and ask if they're ok. They will jump on the opportunity to stop if they're not, usually making an excuse that it hurts or it's uncomfortable.

[@CagedTroll]

Regarding the Edit: Women in particular often increase the sounds they make during sex when they’re trying to get their partner to finish, meaning, ironically, that the more into it she sounds, the less into it she is. Definitely do check in with your partner if they seem to not be enjoying themselves, but don’t just assume that they’re having a great time just because they’re making a lot of noise.

[@lcc2348]

Fifty Shades of Grey: exists The Dom: Peace was never an option