Mistakes That Screenwriters Make On Page 1 - Brooks Elms

[@scottwatrous]

As happens in any craft or creative enterprise those who have earned their experience and knowledge will immediately parse out, perhaps subconsciously, work that is on the level. Show a plumber one solder joint and they will know if the person who did it was a DIYer, a 20 year master, a fly-by-night contractor, or an earnest apprentice. Show an illustrator a given work and they will know how much time with that medium the artist has. As a designer by day of about 15 years, I can look at sets of blueprints or 3D CAD files or design sketches, or even a finished product, and know with that 80% certainly whether that person is a serious pro, whether they are amateur, and to some degree what era they grew up in based on how they format thejr work or manage certain details in the design. The key is not to have shame in your own work if you are more novice, and accept it might be rough but focus on what you can do well and try to learn from every experience. And for those experienced not to take too much pride in their work or seniority to think the amateurs cannot still deliver good ideas, polish their work to a shine with the right guidance, and in many ways quickly catch up. We are all standing on the work of those before and each generation that enters a craft or trade will tend to learn the best of the state of the art quicker than the last. Just requires having the awareness and drive to really learn that material. Those who do will I think quickly get beyond the point where they can be singled out as inexperienced.

[@filmcourage]

Excellent comment, thank you for posting Scott!

[@DGFA-]

You're right, but if you ask these people what's wrong with what they see, I'm pretty sure they'll have an answer for you or can give you some advice or example of how the man here could not give a single sensible-sounding example for his thesis. He stammers something about "a man gets into a car" and argues that it's important to recognize what happened before or after without giving a tangible example. In my opinion, such people are those who have risen in their field through SOMETHING and make such statements through, as he says, EXPERIENCE, not through in-depth knowledge. For someone who sets out to judge others based on reading a page because he claims the status of word guru, what he said means nothing!

[@DenkyManner]

He's making me second guess starting my screenplay with "Once upon a time it was a dark and stormy night".

[@mr.b6789]

Don't second guess unless you have strong arguments to do so! Sounds to me that you first need to finish your script, then you can tune things down. Or up, if it's that original and unique 😉

[@CarminaIguana]

First sentence (aside): "Sitting at the laptop, I wasn't too sure about this whole screenplay thingy."

[@deva561]

@@mr.b6789 toxic positivism, sure.

[@mr.b6789]

@@deva561 How is it toxic? Where does it say a script can't start with "Once upon a time.."? There are some pretty strong examples made last century 😎

[@deva561]

@@mr.b6789 dude, LAST century. We're going through the first cuarter of this one. There only exists few examples, and that's why he/she should avoid the clichés. Nothing is original nor unique, just mixing preexistent stuff in a more creative way. But I didn't refer to that sentence from the beginning: your advice is not following any advise, to not change unless having "strong arguments". The first and only necessary argument is humble self-criticism, but what would you know about that? "😉"

[@gsparks1835]

Yet, crappy movie after crappy movie continues to be made. As long as it makes it’s budget back it’s acceptable.

[@OpenMawProductions]

That's because the question of quality here is not whether the story is actually good. He's talking about formatting, word use, and stuff that may not matter. Some of the most legendary movies you can name have fuck ups with words, weird formatting, etc...

[@jdee8407]

...But its a professional script, with professional word usage, that someone who's been in Hollywood for years can tell it was written by a professional script writer, which is the only thing that counts.

[@vernonkroark]

@@OpenMawProductions right, so why does he even worry about that? Why even bring it up?

[@OpenMawProductions]

@@vernonkroark Primarily for the sake of presentation. If someone reads your script you want it to be as close to flawless in the presentation as possible.

[@marsilv4319]

FACTS! Remaking the same movies over an over

[@froglifechannel]

Totally agree. I've read about 3,000 screenplays over 25 years. I can usually tell if there are going to be problems from the top of page one. Not always what the problems are, exactly (although, sometimes -- yes,) but whether the writer knows what they are doing. Sometimes a writer has a strong first 10, or 20, or 30 pages, and it takes a little while to see if there are any major issues. But I always emphasize: you gotta grab me at the top of page one. SENTENCE ONE. Show me SOMETHING.

[@filmcourage]

That is a lot of screenplays read! Thanks for posting Richard!

[@Thenoobestgirl]

Wow that's a lot of screenplays D:

[@BrooksElms]

Yup. Thanks for backing me up on that, Richard. And for any new writers that are skeptical, just find people in the industry and ask them. See what they say. It's mostly a matter of time-on-task. Pay close enough attention to ANYTHING over time and you notice all sorts of nuances that other people miss.

[@antoinemclaurin6771]

I thought this an was absolutely flawless interview. Very insightful and not difficult to understand at all. It you put in the effort create a reader’s experience, your script wouldn’t feel amateurish at all.

[@adriasc79]

I find amazing how all this professionals speak so much about how much they know and at the same time express them so badly and inconsistent. Of course I've learned watching some of them.

[@GabrielZang]

I'm addicted to this channel. That's it.

[@filmcourage]

Great to see you discover this channel Gabriel! Spend a little time here then get back to creating your work!

[@GabrielZang]

@@filmcourage Oh yeah! I have related to many of the videos, and also plan to polish some edges on my work. I've got plenty already out and have won some awards, but the room for improvement is always endless, there's no limit for improvement. I'm sure a lot of things I'll find here will help me take it to the next level. Thanks for the awesome content, keep up the good job!

[@anavonrebeur6121]

Me too. It Is helpful and brilliant

[@chilidogcats]

Which means . . . YOU"RE NOT WRITING! 🤣

[@GabrielZang]

@@chilidogcats XD XD well, I cannot write while I cook, at least not until dictation algorithms get polished better :D

[@bluenoirpics]

"Professional" vs "amateur" is one thing. "Good" vs "bad" isn't necessarily the same...

[@chrisj3788]

I'm writing my first book. It's a children's book. This channel is helping more than anything. Thanks

[@jokester18business51]

There’s a lot of ignorant people out there that ignore this man’s advice. At the end of the day, the most important aspect is conveying your story in an interesting and intricate way. Which means having a good hook. That’s the main take away

[@jokester18business51]

@Daniel L. Phillips I don’t follow the beginning of your comment but Blair Witch worked because of its story and it’s uniqueness!! Not because it was formatted correctly and did things by the book

[@Ruylopez778]

Seems to me he was saying that an experienced writer can immediately spot craft in word choice, sentence length & rhythm, writer voice, white space, distinctive character voice. None of that has anything to with a hook, although of course a hook is crucial to getting someone to continue reading.

[@jokester18business51]

@@Ruylopez778 yes I agree and I was trying to say that. Crafting a good story automatically checks off all those boxes

[@hmicky-mickey]

@@Ruylopez778 ​@JokeSter18Business Listen guys, what are we talking about right here? A finely crafted, Hollywood screenplay or something that is artful and non standard and fresh. There are thousands upon thousands of well written pieces of shite out there. That's why we don't need screenplay degrees or screen play schools. It comes from the heart and soul. I'm concerned that this guy who can look at a screenplay from page one is a veteran script writer who's seen thousands of screenplays and knows what Hollywood likes and bases his criteria off of that rather than recognizing a FRESH VOICE and story that doesn't fit the typical audience previewed, board room breakdown of all the tics and tropes that they use for their business model. I can't stand 90 percent of the crap that comes out of Hollywood because of this insidious business model and scripts suffer right along with it. ​By the way, Bergman never really wrote scripts, he wrote out his thoughts as stories and handed them to his actors. Same goes for several other great auteurs. I'm a filmmaker and artist and this kind of stuff is like an early vetting point. These sets of "

[@hmicky-mickey]

​@@jokester18business51 (I'll copy and paste my thoughts to you as well) Listen guys, what are we talking about right here? A finely crafted, Hollywood screenplay or something that is artful and non standard and fresh. There are thousands upon thousands of well written pieces of shite out there. That's why we don't need screenplay degrees or screen play schools. It comes from the heart and soul. I'm concerned that this guy who can look at a screenplay from page one is a veteran script writer who's seen thousands of screenplays and knows what Hollywood likes and bases his criteria off of that rather than recognizing a FRESH VOICE and story that doesn't fit the typical audience previewed, board room breakdown of all the tics and tropes that they use for their business model. I can't stand 90 percent of the crap that comes out of Hollywood because of this insidious business model and scripts suffer right along with it. ​By the way, Bergman never really wrote scripts, he wrote out his thoughts as stories and handed them to his actors. Same goes for several other great auteurs. I'm a filmmaker and artist and this kind of stuff is like an early vetting point. These sets of "

[@russellpuerini7573]

These interviews show how helpful and open Hollywood is. Overall listened to nothing but kind people in this business and it shows they just want good screenplays and aren’t trying to exclude anyone. So do 50 drafts and pour your heart into it and you’re get the attention and respect you deserve

[@Dunamis_010]

I would love to see this guy’s whole interview.

[@filmcourage]

We had a great interview with Brooks! Looking forward to sharing more from this series in the coming weeks and months.

[@BrooksElms]

Thanks! I'm really glad it helped. There's more coming from Film Courage and you can get plenty of my thoughts on my Twitter. But I have to admit, the format in the Film Courage interview allowed me to go deep. lol They're my favorite interviews I've done.

[@dustyhills8911]

Second that! Some great insight here that supports some of what I'm doing, and I know I can learn more!

[@BrooksElms]

@@dustyhills8911 We all can learn more. And if we stop, our skills atrophy. Sometimes quickly.

[@tappyoklahoma]

"your audience kinda wants a more cohesive idea" - ha i kinda wanted that from him!

[@karlimo4034]

Oh my God, this! Dude talks too much to say so little.

[@gopro_audio]

Hemingway rambles on with 22 commas in over 162 word sentence in Green Hills of Africa.

[@johnwgarrett1]

It ought to be exciting to identify on page one that the writer is not a professional. It's a fresh voice! Isn't that what moves the medium forward?

[@atTheHop]

This interview is good. He knows what he's talking about.

[@eddyjuillerat835]

Many questions comes to my mind: - Is there many "not so good" scripts that became great films? - Is screenwriting an elite activity on it's own? If yes, great, make scripts festivals for the litterature world. Films are something else. - Or if he's right to be so high level on objectively great quality, is this level of quality automatically linked to a great film in result? Because I see why a great script can be great in a text sense and leads to great shooting by all the matter inside it (great words can sparkle great visuals) but it will became footage taken on a stage or location, then edited. Two major steps after. So I wonder how much this text qualilty is so essential to the two-steps after result. One film is a 3 films process: written, shot, edited. - And if it's a way how the movie system works today, by filtering to get only the best writing, is there something crooked in the system itself? Because art is heart and soul, with the help of technique. Here I see maybe art in text, but many other non-art things comes into play. Okay, it's business and every profession in the world needs professionnals to get the best results (we don't build houses starting with the roof's carpentry) so: - How many scripts containing the potential of great films stood in trashes since the system works like this?

[@mr.b6789]

I used way worse words in my reaction to describe exactly the same. I deleted mine, but this one is spot on! 👍

[@albertmac1056]

If you have Netflix, I recommend you watch the Forrest Gump episode of The Films that Made Us

[@happythec1am]

There are a lot of 'bad writers' that don't have good cadance or flowery descriptions that make great films. But I think there is good balance that producers and directors appreciate as they want confidence the writer is experienced. This topic is of course very diverse with opinion and it is very situational based on if you have a name for yourself and who is behind you. One of my favorite scripts is Children of Men which has a nice balance. I have always learned that you should describe your action with as few words as possible. Children of men does this, but also uses interesting language. But ultimately for a screenplay - story and dialogue are what is important. Tarantino does not write pretty scripts with beautiful language, he writes his scripts as though he is explaining it in his voice. Shane Black is another example that just blurps out scripts saying things like "So it was kind of like this . . . " Almost like paper napkin scripts. Some writers think their scripts should be written as though they are fine literature. This is not what movies are and it is unnessiary unless you are going to pitch ego or are pitching to people that can not disern colorful writing from good story telling. Or you are pitching to people the guy in this video. I have read some amazing written scripts that were fun to read for the color of the description, but the story was boring. I have read some amazing stories that were terribly written. This carries over into literature as well with writers such as Tolkien. An English professor, he over describes everything, pages on pages of describing things, no real sense of pacing or cadance, sort of not a great writer in this regard. As someone with mild dyslexia and mild A.D.D I personally can't read Tolkien, I just get lost. But, he is considered on of the best for his world building and he defined modern fantacy, which is one of the most important elements of story telling. So it is all a little subjective. Writers are considered great writers after the fact, based on the influence and success they had on the world.

[@ComicPower]

Thank you for making these videos. I didnt know that Spike lee made a book about how he crafted shes gotta have it. I will find that on amazon like right now. I love that film because it shows what you can accomplish with virtually no money in your budget and he made the iconic Mars Blackmon character. This youtube is like a free master class for me as I gain knowledge on how to take my ideas and turn them into screenplays

[@carlajenkins1990]

Excellent advice--if you are writing the screenplay for a Marvel movie. A complex opening scene demands a lot more attention to detail. I believe "Letting the camera tell the story" is far more effective. A bunch of witty remarks for the sake of being witty remarks is the opening of too many so-so screenplays.

[@TennantMary]

This helps me as an actor. Explains why some scripts pop out to me and others are like hard for me.

[@flirtwd]

Blah blah blah. If I wrote back to the future , E.T., Raiders of the Lost Ark and gave it to these clowns they wouldn’t even consider them.Hell, Zemeckis was told PASS when he pitched bttf to Disney. It only got made because he did romancing the stone and it was a mega hit. I’m going to bed.

[@abhaythegodfather]

Exactly. Because based on "industry standards" he will be caught up in the formatting and choice of words and all that secondary things without actually reacting to it as an actual film lover.

[@g.panitikan1929]

tarantino: none of that is important

[@FiggsNeughton]

Yeah, I was thinking of that, too. Every one of his characters sounds exactly like him, lol!

[@trinodelpino1]

I have a friend and former coworker Charles Huntitnger that wrote a screenplay back in 2008. I remember vividly him telling me that he let a few professionals read this particular screenplay and they all told him that it was no good, unprofessional etc. Fast forward a few years later he sold it to Paramount and it was made with Al Pacino acting as the main character. The movie is tilted "Hangman" Believe in yourself and like this interviewee said , the industry is subjective.

[@darrengamer8189]

Basically he's just saying don't give a really busy person a reason to put down your writing and move onto the next on the pile by page one. You might have written the best story ever put to paper, but if page one has spelling errors and is formatted weirdly it'll probably get put in the junk pile. And if you don't care enough about your script to bother presenting it in the best possible light, they assume you haven't put that much effort into anything else either so there is no point in reading it.

[@rokkoperlifor5912]

95% of manuscripts send to agents that take random scripts are rejected for the same five reasons: 1) Non existing spellchecking, formatting, fonts 2) formatting, naming (people forgot if their character is named Pete or Peter) structural (overlong sentences etc) 3) the agent has a process how to submit manuscripts and people just don't follow them 4) the agent doesn't sell this kind / theme 5) your writing style is bad Before we even come to discussing content, people fail at the first 4.

[@filmcourage]

What did you like about this video?

[@clintcalvert9250]

Love movies from idea to screen. He seems spot on.

[@creativelycolouredcinema6828]

I got this . I have know doubts about my skill . I learned on my own .

[@mikegallegos7]

I have written several screenplays, drafts, and treatments and when I ever return to one "left on the shelf" I also can tell, even through cringe, I can do better and dearly hope I have never done worse. I am very particular about applying, "less is more", and rewriting until I get a sense of dialogue pace which represents a character's unique voice, personality, and purpose. When achieved, I begin to get a character's "approval" - they may "talk" to me, tell me where I am screwing up, even give me better lines! I have even gotten thanks; but remember no compliments. While working one story, I clearly remember being with my character who was thrashed in storm driven heavy seas. He popped through the surface to face the hard sting, the deafening rain, and crashing water. Then, rolling waves covered the sting and crash of rain by driving my hero under. Sound was thus more quiet, muffled. His body weighted with heavy clothes. The rise of the waves pushed him deep until a deeper trough found ways to keep him near the capsized boat in order to ram him. In such duress, one has no choices except fight fear, think hard, do not to give up. Or die. He snatched a line and pulled himself underneath and inside the fishing boat. The motion was still violent, but the sound of wave and huge rain drops hit wooden keel instead of my hero. He felt safe and envisioned being reborn from the boat's starless abyss. I was relieved he survived and realized, again, the amazing art of less is more: he had no dialogue.

[@FiggsNeughton]

While he has a lot of good advice, this insulated "professional's club" attitude really explains why Hollywood movies are, for the most part, absolute garbage these days. This man, and others like him, are looking for professional scripts written by people who have been "in the club" for long enough to know what's going to get picked up by studio executives. But studio execs are businessmen desperately following trends, they don't care about art, originality, or preserving franchises, or even just making something that will be remembered (and thus make money over the long term). They only want a quick cash grab, nothing more. So really, writing a script that has a particular professional "look" is kind of the worst thing you can do. Sadly, picking random people off the street to write something original would be a lot better than the flops and franchise-killers we see now. Hollywood has a lot to learn, and it's really hard to learn when your arrogance protects you from learning.

[@gimmehugs1615]

Good point.

[@jdee8407]

Hollywood has become a kiss each others butt club.

[@jimmybalantyne5545]

Figgs, are you seventeen years old because you sound it. Hollywood has a lot to learn? No, my friend, you do.

[@FiggsNeughton]

@@jimmybalantyne5545 Okay bud. Enjoy your diversity hire Disney remakes.

[@dsa513]

​@@jdee8407a😂😂😂youtube too

[@CraigHinrichs]

I love this guy! Going to "dig into" more of this stuff on here.

[@BrooksElms]

Thanks, Craig!

[@manlyduckling]

"We are talking" is NOT a passive construction. It is the present continuous tense. Why is there so much ignorance of grammar among so-called writers?

[@kevinreily2529]

I can usually tell "by the title page", if the writer knows what she/he is doing.

[@Md2802]

Pfft. I can tell by what envelope they deliver it in.

[@12booradley34]

@@Md2802 pfft, I can tell by what service they use to deliver it.

[@chrisboas5527]

@@12booradley34 I can tell by the weather the day the script arrives.

[@kevinreily2529]

@@Md2802 If they have a lot of unnecessary copyright nonsense and too much personal info, they do not know what they are doing. Pfft.

[@filmcourage]

What points do you disagree with?

[@mr.b6789]

I could mention the overrated importance of script formatting basically. How many words? And how many are muscular? I understand if that script has to compete with other scripts, one has to make it perfect. But I can't stop thinking that that particular aspect is not in the best interest of the movie..

[@samhardy2038]

Terrific series so much knowledge from all guests. Much can be applied to other arts. This guy is very interesting and smart.

[@BrooksElms]

Thanks, Sam!

[@losskopein]

I can relate. At least for my own taste, I can tell if I'm going to like the piece, film.or tv, by breathing in the production value the first few minutes.

[@jackhudkins542]

Great interview....thank you!

[@cristina7317]

To be honest I never heard a clear answer to this question. I can understand blocky, overwriting, bad choice of words, slow pace, clumsy, boring.... But that 'voice' is something that comes with experience and some self-discovery. it's quite intimate like that personal angle view that makes a film original. It's charged with very intimate emotion like a 'view' No one can really answer this question or teach you style or voice. The 'voice' is yours and requires some native talent and self awareness or depth. Writing doesn't always hone it nor gets you there. It's like lacking musical ear. No matter how much you play a violin you'll never develop a native music ear, at best by repetition you might get to reproduce perfectly Mozart. Garcia Marquez and Hemingway had very different writing styles, some prefer one to the other for their own subjective taste, though they both won a Nobel. It really is subjective and you hope your script will get in the 'right hands' :)

[@barrycook6603]

It just like listening to a musician. It only takes a few notes to know if they amatuer or professional.

[@vernonkroark]

The more of these videos I watch, the more confused I get. 95% of movies being made right now are garbage, yet readers reject 99% of all scripts after the first scene and some toss a script after the first page. Maybe there is a correlation? Show, don't tell, but use muscular, active words in your descriptions even though those words will never be seen by the audience. Learn as much as you can about the correct way to write a screen play and follow a set of proven practices and your script will be great. However, if you stick to a set of proven practices, you're doing it wrong and your script won't be original enough. Certain things have to happen at the exact right moment in every script, but if you do that stuff, your script won't be original enough and no one wants the same old boring scripts, they want new stuff that is shocking. There is a right way to do things. There is no right way to do things. Maybe this art has been analyzed way too much and we aren't letting it be an art anymore.

[@jimmybalantyne5545]

Great stuff. Thank you.

[@brotherbrod]

out of curiosity what has this guy done? i looked at his IMBD and didn't see much. i just wanna make sure i'm getting genuine advice from people who are proven.

[@RaoulEnoiu]

Great advice! Love the videos and looking forward to more

[@frenstcht]

F.C. "Give us an example of differences in cadence." B.E. "I read a book!" F.C. "Give us an example of muscular language." B.E. "It's like active- vs. passive voice, only not flowery and not plain unless it's not flowery 'cos then it's okay." I'd love to take one of his classes, because there's no better experience than coughing up a couple paychecks in exchange for hours of facile rambling.

[@chriskoch9829]

And he is the reason Hollywood has been stuck making shit movies. Need less people like this and get some creative people who are willing to take chances. Someone with some vision.

[@abhaythegodfather]

It feels like this guys eats writers for breakfast, lunch & dinner. His job seems basically to reject people based on his opinion which was formed only through assumptions.

[@davidlanier2290]

1) what do you use to define beginer intermeduate pro? E.g. $? Discipline? Structure? Training? 2) if we don't have film school $ or funding etc then what? 3) i write every day. Have been and continuue to be paid for what i do and was born to do it So again what metric? 4) everyone has likes / duslikes etc. So again what about slug lines etc you hated but were professional and maybe you passed on but regret? That would be valuable information imhop... 5) as a writer and artist etci create be cause i am called to do it then there is refinement of craft... Again imhop Folks watching these vids are professionals or on their way so maybe instead of spending 3 min 25 secs about slug lines etc maybe give an example? E.g. 19:06 vid of .... Now with 3:25 min of added ego boosting....

[@myrongunnar1518]

Solid real world, common sense input, right here!!

[@khakimzhanmiras]

If you get paid for it you’re a pro

[@bb_Boofus]

Excellent

[@johnhansen1501]

It might be more helpful if he actually said what it was he looked for, instead of going on about how good he is to spot it.

[@paulmurphy8993]

There is so much deep and insightful commentary on the subject of screenwriting on this channel and yet year after year the movies Hollywood produces are awful. Sigh.

[@greyeyed123]

I always write my first page in crayon. Is that a mistake? "This is the story of a killer robot driving instructor who goes back in time for some reason."

[@serberus5233]

Does it have a shifty-eyed dog as the antagonist?

[@greyeyed123]

@@serberus5233 Don't steal my ideas you fifth hound from hell!

[@CARONIHOMEBOY]

I'm hooked

[@monmorelord6368]

Writing by numbers ..the hollywood way....do it my way or else we wont accept it...no wonder real creativity is stifled

[@meesterexit1969]

The first line Brooke Elms said says it all...

[@Drudenfusz]

Thank you for that vey last question, I was wondering about what he meant by muscular words.

[@SuperOmarcena]

Muscular words are words that pack an emotional punch/image in and of themselves. Strong verbs, most prominently, are what most people mean when they talk about muscular words. An amateur writer would write: John runs into the room crazily. A pro would write: John bursts into the room. Not only is the latter more economical, it’s also a mental image. BURST is a strong verb. "Running crazily/in a hurry" is a weak expression.

[@roathripper]

white space flowing on the page - thats my screenplay!

[@jasonnicholasschwarz7788]

Like in most brains nowadays....seems to be a growing trend.

[@travisgames6608]

Even though there are a lot of crappy movies that go straight to streaming, DVD bargain bin, or what's left of cable/satelite tv; people like this being hardcore gatekeepers is astounding tbh.

[@Michaelmuq]

Brooks is the man

[@ashleyjones1519]

Not to diminish the relevance of what he's saying, but he's got a lovely husky voice, doesn't he?

[@Md2802]

Sounds more schnauzer to me.

[@BrooksElms]

Thanks, Ashley! 🙂

[@aresaurelian]

Now its a challenge.🧐

[@joshuacollins7470]

Ripped into the cinematic grip

[@passdasalt]

I dislike this guy's vocal rasp. After one sentence, I made up my mind and turned off the video and gave it a thumbs down. No, of course I did not do that. I hope there are script readers out there that can overlook small format issues, or an unconventional style to give everyone at least half a chance.

[@20blockrecords54]

Basically write like you are telling a fable or poem so use big words and strong sentences

[@pamelacarboon7976]

Hi Brok, just listening to your interview something you said really struck me. (every word counts). I've decided to start my story using V.O., the protagonist's voice-over, he's introducing his dog. Could you give me, if you have time, your thoughts on the dialogue if used? Does it sound authentic, does it make the audience want to see more? Script: WE SEE A PHOTOGRAPH OF A PUG. V.O JOHNNY (11) Meet Charlie, he's cute right?... Yeah, I know, everyone loves a cute rollie pollie cuddly little PUG. But that’s not who Charlie is. To know who the real Charlie is, we have to go way back. So, I suppose the best place to start is the beginning, but, let me warn you, you’re probably not going to like the way Charlie's life began. I know he didn't. How do I know that? Well, he told me.

[@terencecote7224]

Any examples of these first lines of page one ? Anyone

[@amrgalal6143]

I totally disagree.. I hope the people who are filtering all these amazing scripts don't think this way because It's not necessarily about the grammar or the way the first or most sentences are structured, it's about what this story is about (if it's timely or about a certain topic or characters that is unique or revolutionary at the time) and what this person wants to say there. And I believe that is why we are seeing all these generic films around these days and one wonders why these crappy repetitive films are getting made in the first place. Well, guess what the writers who wrote them are "experienced writers" and know "patterns" when they see them. Not all writers are experienced, yet they could write about a subject that you or anybody else have never heard of.

[@cosmicdownload2025]

its the same as a movie, in the first minute i can tell if its good or if it sucks balls

[@ItsBriezzy]

So nice that when it comes to authenticity he has the privilege to play around with British characters in his head! When it is someone else's script, "If I'm not satisfied in the first sentence you better go get F#$ed..." True gatekeeper, and these are the types of people that keep me from submitting any of my work or ideas because they are so pretentious! Art in film is subjective and can't be realized within one sentence of a screenplay, I don't care WHO you are but your ways of thinking may be academically inline but creatively they seriously miss the breakdown of an artistic vision. Structure only goes so far, imaginations make films that are remembered. To me this conversation is rooted highly in industry and so far away from auteurism, I guess my question is what is a "Successful" film, one that is rooted in big box office returns or one that is remembered by humanity as a piece of art?

[@oliviu-dorianconstantinesc288]

By the amount of crap movies they're churning out, it doesn't look like the "producers" take these criteria seriously.

[@amaljamal5703]

with advice such as these no wonder there is so much free floating generic shit

[@harshvirsingh6959]

Keeps on going in different directions and can’t stick to one thing … he can’t able to say what’s his brain is thinking .

[@manhattanboy69]

Just write...

[@greyeyed123]

Telling a story well is much like telling a joke well. If you have to explain how to tell the joke, what's the point?

[@zzaghi]

“muscular words” (throw up emoji)

[@jasonnicholasschwarz7788]

turd emoi!!!!

[@murphybnn-ninja1808]

Anybody think it was weird that the Mario movie has very serious satanic undertones? Is there 1 professional screenwriter that wants to talk about how that’s not appropriate for the audience yet? 66 minute mark of the Mario movie look for yourself. Tell me if that was a good idea for the movie, BEFORE, LIKE WAY BEFORE, you tell me about Line 1 and Line 2 on EVERY amateur script. Ha! Please.

[@EasyZee69]

Makes little sense disregarding a script because the writer may not be as professional or experienced, the wording may not be as tight, the formatting may be off, or whatever other issues may exist, especially when it is going to go through re-writes by other (more experienced) writers. The studio can always get a professional script writer to tighten the wording, fix the formatting, and get the script to where it should be... if the idea is worth it. But you have to read more than one page to know if a story is worth it.

[@joabbott8845]

Has Brooks made any films?

[@matthewgordonpettipas6773]

He has made a few shorts and has a feature in pre production.

[@BrooksElms]

Wrote, directed and produced two indie features. Made a skillion shorts. Wrote 25+ screenplays. Sold a bunch. Consistently working as a WGA writer and loving it.

[@jerrywilliams3416]

But couldn’t answer her questions well. Confidence is sexy. Arrogance is repulsive.

[@BrooksElms]

@@jerrywilliams3416 Wait.... "Sexy" was even on the table for me? I'll take that as a compliment! :-)

[@mr.b6789]

@@BrooksElms I hope you don't mind me asking this question. It's not to prove a point, just so I understand how things are. I understand that it's nearby impossible to sell an "amateur" script. But are there producers out there who know there might be a gem (of a movie) underneath? Or is it safe to state that if an "amateur" script is being produced, the writer is probably very close with the producer or even actually is the director or producer themselves?

[@therealmogod]

😎🤞🏾✍🏾✍🏾✍🏾777

[@tobiasskudstrup3313]

How about this for a slugline: Bald, know-it all-type person is interviewed about mistakes on page 1 in a screenplay. He fails to come off as the expert he thinks he are and wastes everyons time.

[@frozen1762]

I don't think you can actually summarize interesting stories in just one sentence because you cant express anything else besides a simple idea in such a short informational format. Looks logical to me that is the reason most movies are crap because they are based on a simple pitch. I have an idea for a psychological erotic thriller and can tell in one sentence what its about but that wouldn't actually tell you anything about why I think its an interesting idea.

[@mbricolage]

Five minutes in and no helpful advice. And by the way, a real professional would be able to tell not by the first sentence, not by the log line, a real professional would be able to tell by the first word. Actually, the best screenwriters would know by the first couple of letters of the first word.

[@terencecote7224]

Kinda over does it a bit .

[@remylebae3395]

This comment section is precisely why so many amateur writers stay as amateur writers. The guy gave all the nuance necessary for why professionals/execs know a good story by the first page, and yet people are still being contrary and bringing up Hollywood's recent failures as if that's somehow an argument. Anyone who's read a couple of stories on Wattpad or Tumblr can identify objectively bad writing by the first paragraph (or even first sentence). Yet people here are complaining about rejection and failure and gatekeepers, instead of focusing on improvement. As he said in the video, you don't know what you don't know. Truth be told, you have to be at least a little egotistical to write a story in the first place. Good writers put their ego aside and care more about perfecting their craft than they care about being right. Bad writers are simply ignorant, refusing to accept criticism and seeing rejection as a personal attack.

[@patnor7354]

Scripts are meant to be revised. How many times did Rowling revise Harry Potter? Would rejecting version 3 show a super-skilled exec or a fool who couldn't recognize a great story in a rough version? And poorly written crap can sell well. See 50 shades...

[@fredrikstrangadventurer]

This guy is all over the place... He talks about losing interest from sentence one. He can't even coherently phrase one sentence himself...