Final Fantasy IX In a Nutshell! (Animated Parody)

Final Fantasy IX... the other big fan favorite of the series! This was a hefty task and is by far our longest nutshell to date! Can we even call them nutshells anymore? We really hope you enjoy!
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[@RABtoons]

Please support our videos by pledging as little as $1 at: www.patreon.com/rabtoons Once again... make sure you watch until after the credits, you might spot some familliar faces again! Follow us on twitter! twitter.com/RABtoons

[@user-no4di9ro7c]

I just realized: «Where is Amaranth?!!» He is gonna be with Outcasters (or Aftercrediters:) isn't he?

[@davedavidson3605]

it's about time...thank you

[@Napaeozapus]

What I notice could using improving is the recording quality and volume of the voices at times. Probably hard to get a bunch of people set up for high quality recordings. Figured I'd leave some feedback other than saying it was great. Enough other people seem to be saying that.

[@Ponakalaranjit456]

Why Did you Make Zidane into an asshole.

[@Zhuinden]

@@Ponakalaranjit456 he is the Thief of Tantalus and he has no soul. Ofc

[@harleytheapothecary7849]

"wow vivi, why dont you do that more often?" "because it blew HALF our CGI budget, now we have to fly to lindblum using in - game graphics" is the best line ever

[@4DeMS]

Yes! 😂

[@ThirtytwoJ]

Nah 2nd. The 7 opening where he pops off an AVALANCHE acronym is spot on hilarious.

[@amendozaofficial]

Hey everyone, I’m the voice of Vivi! Special thanks to RAB for letting me jump in on this! It’s always exciting to see how these turn out! Happy Holidays!

[@BJGvideos]

Awesome! You did a good job.

[@Cloofinder]

Nicely done!

[@peterlopez2388]

Sounds like you got the best mic quality as well. GJ btw

[@John-dd8kh]

Turn around girl!! I mean princess.. I mean BOI?

[@WingZX1103]

Angela Mendoza honestly I kinda expected him to sound like that if the game were to get voiced

[@erikstrasburg6411]

Beatrix pegging Steiner was the most canonically correct thing about this video.

[@andy56duky]

Will you do me!? I'll do me, I'll do me real good!

[@BlueGuise9]

XD

[@masonlee5866]

Yea she certainly wears the pants

[@billhagy4162]

Steiner agrees nowadays I've seen aftermath posts bold for you to think steiner was moral /pure he just has duty's just like you can't drink or duty first not sex etc

[@billhagy4162]

I mean look at the twenty first century I had morals till the world messed that up kid you not I was Steiner growing up I feared being immoral so...I wouldn't blame him look job first temptation ltr idk but I wouldn't blame him for his tastes I have a impartial appeal bond ngl to the core so Just to let you know this isn't how steiner was post disc 4 purely surely I know steiner was a gent but...idk search the web their is a post game post it opened my eyes realize steiner and me have a similar walk of life even love life yk not to go on a tangent but there is a accurate after post set that shows literally what thought steiner would be doing trust me I thought steiner and beatrix would go out drinking all that jazz so go check it out and I was right

[@zkart8038]

One line that's genius that goes unnoticed is when Freya says "I don't give a burmecian's ass about abilities right now" instead of " Rat's ass" lol

[@lordtullus9942]

I'd give anything for Freya's ass, though.

[@intensellylit4100]

@@lordtullus9942 fur e

[@ThorsShadow]

@@lordtullus9942 Nnnnnnnice.

[@4DeMS]

Subtle funny

[@4DeMS]

@@lordtullus9942 noice

[@kemix1006]

I think Freya got more lines in this parody than she did in Disks 3 and 4 combined. *cries internally*

[@RABtoons]

Square did her dirty, we did her justice.

[@chrishaynes599]

She's my favorite character I feel you

[@clarkb2697]

Yeah I always felt she was was waaay too useful to be resigned to the quiet corner. She is one of the few characters that can wallop an enemy with max damage.

[@namefirst4108]

I like this parody just because you make her shiny instead of making her blurry at the disc 3, 4 like Square Enix. And WTF Steiner did to Beatrix at the end?

[@namefirst4108]

@@clarkb2697 Zidane, Steiner, Quina too. Garnet can do 9999 damage but based on the number of Lapis Lapuli in the inventory and her level and boss level so her damage is not absolutely standard damage like Zidane thievery, Steiner shock, Quina frog drop, Freya Dragon crest.

[@annienunyabiz6627]

Poor Amarant. So forgettable he was left out of his parody and even the Outcasts didn't remember him.

[@supermariofan03]

Which is funny considering he was on the original PS1 cover.

[@MTtheHuman]

@@supermariofan03 Every time I saw the picture of Amarant, I will think that he's a chicken.

[@DaFro3713]

MTtheHuman to be fair, his hair is basically a rooster crown. I wouldn’t blame you if anyone thought he was some kind of chicken man. Especially since as another commenter says that he’s ON THE DAMN COVER!!!

[@lukkash93]

like no chocobo also :(

[@WiiSage]

@@DaFro3713 his hair is dreadlocks which is an actually hairstyle

[@villagernumber9233]

I love how Vivi sounds like he's pretty much done with everyone's bs

[@therealwilldalbey]

His first appearance, he was forced into slavery.

[@TheKpa11]

Youngest old person ever

[@davidgalan2140]

I died at the "biiiitch do i need to cut your HP down to 1 again?" xDDD

[@victicos7742]

The best!😂😂

[@xmurphinegaming6500]

AGAIN!?

[@WonderMaker72]

11:00

[@Jaybo1213]

"Oh and Vivi's dead" you had me laughing and crying and yelling expletives at your video. Bravo

[@namefirst4108]

"In a nutshell', that why you should prepare your mental ability before watching this because it could contain harsh moment content.

[@rodvaughnreynolds6859]

The

[@LunaP1]

Zidane: Awwwww, It’s a village full of bigger Vivi’s. Vivi: That’s racist! Zidane: They all look like you. Later..... Vivi: Awwwwww, it’s a village full of Zidanes. See?! Not so funny is it? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@WingZX1103]

Tania Bams it’s funny cuz they all are clones

[@mellishbedtime]

“I am not racist I just don’t like black people”- The Merchant from RE:5

[@antitheist3206]

To be fair, black mages are physically identical. Not supporting it, just an observation.

[@luxelinfernal4875]

Payback time at 20:46

[@K-oZ]

Anti Theist Due to racism they are just called A, B and C while fighting them.

[@DarksteelHeart]

The intros on these are all spot on "The final fantasy everyone hated, but now everyone loves. Wait that's all of them."

[@Adeiza]

People really hated FF9!? It's always been my favourite one.

[@daemonskycloak6818]

When I was younger after the edginess of 7 and 8 ff9 seemed goofy and childlike so no it took me a really long time to even give it a chance.

[@BigaloMax]

It was the Wind Waker of its time. Alot of people didnt like the art direction and the fact it was going back to its roots and just wanted FF9 to be like FF8 . which is funny cause people now hate 8 .

[@oktaya7717]

Ff9 was always my favourite! It was just the complete package for me FANTASY instead of political problems with realistic looking people.

[@HEYHAZE29]

Such a classic to me

[@skiddleops77]

Same I just bought the game on my xbox to relive it, I couldn't get past the monster that kidnaps Garnet and I finally beat it

[@raym1477]

Amarant: so unwanted, not only did he not appear in this video, the Outcasts didn't even recruit him.

[@kennethshiro9500]

amarant is actually pretty awesome.

[@Casp15]

Lol! I didnt even realise he wasnt in!

[@BJGvideos]

Amarant is probably the most useless character in the game. People cite Quina but Quina is amazing when you train it right.

[@Peeker-pq2iz]

You know what, I didn't even notice until he was mentioned at the end of the stream lol

[@ryanyap5225]

@@BJGvideos me no can eat

[@shaunmclorie5929]

I'm looking forward to seeing jokes about the insanely low steal rates and the ridiculous sidequests. "Shall we go and save the world Zidane?" "Hang on, I just need to play skiprope with these kids." "How about now?" "Sorry, I'm catching Frogs." "Now?" "I'm in Chocobo Heaven." "You know what? If you don't come right now, you're no longer in the team." "Fine... But can we deliver this Moogle mail on the way?"

[@brycearmstrong9370]

Meh. Could have been worse. Final Fantasy X-2 was basically this idea on steroids - and you even needed all that crap to get the true ending.

[@roseoflose6731]

Hhh yeah all life just gaming

[@williamlatham9246]

IMO that would've made it funnier. 'Gotta go to that new continent, but first I'll have this chocobo dig up some treasure' ;)

[@oxAkatsubakixo]

How bout playing card in Treno? My fav XD

[@williamlatham9246]

@Manek IridiusWatch your mouth kid, I was joking... Chocobo hot cold was fun, I dug up all the treasure spots.

[@Jose-se9pu]

I love how this Zidane is barely any different than the real one.

[@femcelfootjob]

he is beyond parody

[@LeKain08]

Shit, I thought you were talking about Zinedine Zidane (actually the only "real Zidane") and was wondering what the hell you find parody FF9 Zidane and the infamous french football player have in common lol.😂

[@isaacbailey3681]

"He can't even use swords!" Seriously, that "The shit I put up with!" joke is _so_ on-point for Cecil, he goes through a lot in these nutshells.

[@Ieatpaste23]

The marriage joke was the best in the video. I'm surprised the upside down castle didn't get a castlevania joke.

[@KazekiriLionheart]

"Aww look, it's a town full of Zidanes!" "That's how it feels... jerk." xD

[@misterfoxhound9092]

Poor Vivi he got robbed of his innocence from the 2 dimensional fat joke

[@namefirst4108]

This 2nd dimension is really a nutshell. Cute Vivi is transformed into a real Veigar. Many FFIX fans cried for his death more than FFVII fans cried for Aerith 's death and at the end of this video, they narrated about his death with a plain voice, no emontion and add a laughing.

[@HelloItsMikkan]

Considering the so called 2 dimensional Fat Joke is the most Versatile Character in the story that gives funny lines?

[@4DeMS]

Vivi was seriously not this much of a dickhead. Wth

[@astrisperspecto4130]

@@4DeMS that's... That's kinda the joke. Vivi was a push over for most of the time, dragged along since the failed kidnap attempt

[@4DeMS]

@@astrisperspecto4130 almost not a joke... Just innacurate. Lol

[@janetwallace9264]

Zidane: "Look, a town full of giant Vivis!" Later... Vivi: "Look, a town full of Zidanes!"

[@sielklavar]

Seriously though, how great were those CGI scenes back in the day?

[@ScrewFearMe]

really good, and then when ffx came out, i came in my pants xD

[@stopthrm]

I didn't have this game back in the day, but through RGB, it looks really good for a Video Game system that came out in 1995.

[@ScrewFearMe]

@@stopthrm RPG but yeah it really does, as does ff8, there really are gems on the ps1

[@stopthrm]

@@ScrewFearMe The fact that the PS1 has such a large library anyway and that many of those games are usually in the conversation of best ever, not to mention all of the hidden gems, makes it a collectible system imo. I've always been a pc gamer since the mid 90s, but other than some nintendo, the PS1 was the only system that I could see myself collecting games for.

[@ScrewFearMe]

@@stopthrm hehe, i've had all ps consoles and will buy ps5 when it comes out, i was a pc gamer since the last 90's since i couldnt afford one until then, but i went from nintendo 8bit to ps1 to ps2 and xbox(not that many games on xbox) to ps3 and 360 and now ps4 i miss the 90's though with all the wonderful games back then

[@anouk356]

Steiner Eyeliner joke = best joke

[@alexheider5484]

Goodbye Horses.... I'm cryin' over you....

[@wrayday7149]

Missed opportunity for some Steiner math.

[@superaaronglitchy597]

Can you guys tell me where I heard that before, that joke is kinda familiar

[@wrayday7149]

Well Seiner Eyeliner is the guys eys in the game. Steiner Math is from Scott Steiner Goodbye Horses is from The Silence of the Lambs, the guy dresses like a woman, and is killing women to make their skin into a skinsuit, also he puts on makeup.

[@jonmagic2328]

but whats the name of the song that plays during it

[@xelumbra]

"They attacked us with a giant frikkin mouth" I'm dead haha.

[@thewolfman751]

Zidane: "I've learned... that you all SUCK without me" 😂🤣

[@legendaryohope4670]

That 's what the parody said. In real game, he could useless for sure if went alone a long time before he learned auto-reflect, auto-haste, distract, auto-regen from item but how the hell he can did? Because of his long time journey before he has it - but if you used cheat, you could have all.

[@namefirst4108]

Sakaguchi after quitting the Squaresoft: "FF all suck without me".

[@FragmentedR_YT]

@@namefirst4108 so Zidane was a self-insert? Seems legit.

[@felixdumbravescu2725]

@@legendaryohope4670 I dunno i probably overfarmed unintentionally but Zid was the third unnoficial tank of the team and the best standard attack character i had.

[@leon5472]

@@legendaryohope4670 Wtf you talking about? Never heard of thievery? 9999 damage?

[@CvBurgundy]

"Whaddya mean we didn't have to consumate it!?" I died.

[@dbark09db]

Quina's face while smoking a cigarette. 🤣🤣🤣

[@MirandaWeaver]

Poor, Poor Vivi XD

[@ameliapaine]

Okay, Vivi’s attitude in this had me laughing so hard. I love it! Great job, voice actor, wherever you are.

[@Christian4life86]

Scroll up a little. The voice actor of ViVi is in this comment section as a commentor

[@namefirst4108]

Thing I don't like is they mention about his death in laughing scene. They don't need to talk about his death in funny situation like that.

[@m3gAm37aLmAnX]

Garnet: "I'm trying to have a moment here!" Zidane: "With HITLER! You are literally mourning Hitler!" Garnet: "Who's Hitler!?" Zidane: "I DON'T KNOOOOOWW!" XD

[@cacarot6020]

She found out the one she believed to be her mother wasn't and her real mom was no longer on our world, that day she lost two mothers, we returned to Alexandria on Queen Brahne's vessel, and we took with us Dagger's mom. To this day I still get teared up

[@pasqualembisceglia1989]

Zidane, Adolf Hitler is a leader of the Nazi.

[@callmeshaggy5166]

Actually Adolf Hitler is Dr Odine

[@kaneo1]

"Why don't you do that more often??" "We just blew half our CGI budget!" You actually did show nearly half the game cutscene total.

[@notaboutroses1710]

Yeah, gotcha!

[@oliviaoldaker]

As beautiful as the CGI scenes were in this game I felt some of them were a touch unnecessary.

[@Ratchet2431]

@@oliviaoldaker Why? All of them are like a reward after complete a part of the game.

[@Walamonga1313]

@@oliviaoldaker Unnecessary? For what reason?

[@justicecracker2445]

Drinking coke when Kermit appears did not help my nostrils

[@seancondon5572]

Yeah... it really didn't do me any good when I was snorting coke.

[@poppukonfilm]

Kermit killed me

[@andy56duky]

@@poppukonfilm did you O'D on coke?

[@edmasterson4588]

i'm really not seeing the correlation....

[@gabey6488]

I laughed the most when Zadain was saying “look at that pretty lady” when it was actually a guy it made me laugh so much! I loved it! I have a bad sense of humor don’t I?

[@rikustorm13]

"Princess ain't a country I ever heard of, THEY SPEAK ENGLISH IN PRINCESS?!" 😂😂😂😂 This was worth the wait

[@mitchellbarton7915]

Freya is fucking adorable in this art style.

[@stevenmorton2059]

ZIDANE: Ooo, soft! GARNET: That was a warning.

[@pasqualembisceglia1989]

Dagger, you should wear a diaper for farting at Zidane.

[@DutchDread]

The "Three homicidal mages" don't actually attack Garnet. Black Waltz #1 puts her to sleep. Black Waltz #2 Refuses to attack Garnet. Garnet doesn't join the battle for Black Waltz #3

[@user-od7hh8qg9d]

Mission... retrieve... princess... alive...

[@Someguyhere111]

Fun fact, during the second black waltz 3 fight, if Steiner and Marcus are (somehow) KO'd, leaving just Dagger, black waltz 3 will attack itself every turn XD

[@xoctavia1418]

BW1 was freezing everyone to "death" including dagger if i'm remembering it right, She clomplained about it getting colder. putting them to sleep, to capture her, but he was casting blizzard on everyone. Lets not forget Black Waltz 0 :D our boi vivi!

[@zensbu3434]

X Octavia Don’t forget the black waltz 3 almost blew up whole ship and was able to do it even before the fight with ViVi. Even though it was a joke about homicides mages the black waltz 2 was less lethal cause he casts sleep on Dagger if she’s the last person alive.

[@kamikaseiken5774]

@@xoctavia1418 black waltz 0 = vivi what a twist.

[@NeoWishblade]

Poor Amarant being left out but a fun watch regardless.

[@minetcrafty6450]

Screw that pretentious ass

[@masonj.5185]

Amarant wasn't even in the outcasts

[@danw91]

Amarant came so late to the party, he just mostly had no role to play.

[@bryandavis9671]

Would it have made a difference if he was in the video? xD He was barely in the game to begin with, I keep forgetting he was part of the cast.

[@wombochrombo3610]

@@bryandavis9671 I'm at the part when you first get him. Is he really that bad because so far he's cool.

[@Gumbocinno]

The voice actor for Steiner sounded EXACTLY like King Kai from DBZ.

[@patmalloy3569]

King Kais voice is higher

[@4DeMS]

Dude I could NOT think of who he reminded me of lol.

[@Arvedui12]

Homestar Runner, actually

[@jaeves007]

Brak

[@DruidsCalling]

YOU'RE BEHIND 9/11

[@ZanAzoth]

It's a shame this left out one of the best scenes in Final Fantasy history Bahamut vs Alexander

[@Zelink108]

You mean the scene that didn’t really matter since the Invincible just nukes Alexander afterwards and he never shows up again, making all the build up to Alexander in the first half of the game with the gem shards completely pointless?

[@Shaathurray]

@@Zelink108 I think it does matter. It shows how powerful Arc is. But remember the Invincible is an Air Ship from abother planet, for centuries ago. I don't think that given the time and how technologically advanced it was, that Arc really stood a chance. I mean you gotta remember it was built by the guy who put the whole lifa tree plan ibto action, and it was working. If anything it showed just how powerful the adversaries the party were up against were.

[@Ershin666]

@@Shaathurray Im preaty sure Garland was on Invicible while eye raping Alexander, and arc was just a protoype of Invicible.

[@Shaathurray]

@@Ershin666 Of course Garland was on the Invincible. But Arc was not a prototype. Arc was definetly and Eidolon..

[@danterik9781]

@@Ershin666 No Ark is an Eidolon. He's ancient Think of him like Alexander. In fact, Ark seems to be Terra's equivalent to Gaia's Alexander, both are mechanical, both are the same and yet opposites. Alexander is holy and earthbound, Ark is shadow and airborn. Alexanders attack is 'Divine Judgement', Arks is 'Eternal Darkness' Ironically, had Kuja not sent Zidane to Oeilvert to claim the Gulug Stone, he might have found an eidolon to rival Alexander like his plan was(to screw Garland)

[@ArveEriksson]

*"They attacked us with a giant frickin' mouth!"* XD XD

[@pasqualembisceglia1989]

Oh, no! Cid Fabool IX Is now an Oglop or even an Bug-type Pokemon.

[@AlextheSurlyHealer]

Seriously the 'Sleep it off, you'll be fine' bit will never be unfunny.

[@tomasburian6550]

Vivi was SO awesome in this one. Props to the writer AND the actor. Could have the entire video just about him :D

[@Arrancar488]

Pretty accurate to the game but 2 things: the Black Waltz’s didn’t actually attack Dagger and the Alexandrian soldiers were all women except for the ones under Steiner. But I liked it!

[@yuyaricachimuel555]

Well the Queen did say bring her alive

[@QseftJohn]

I feel like FF9 has the tightest story in all of Final Fantasy. Focusing on Character growth and having a villain who's actions made sense (and easy to understand) can go far in making a great story. I surprised that you didn't make a joke about how powerful Quina can get. If s/he eats 99 frogs s/he get access to a move that does the damage cap and is cheap to spam. Making him/her one of the top 3 most powerful characters in the game. (Zidane and Freya have similar moves as well.)

[@Zelink108]

RedGoblin That is completely wrong, the character growth was badly done and Brahne and Kuja are just a bunch of annoying black and white, one dimensional, moustache twirling cartoon villains who are a-holes just for the sake of being a-holes, the only realistic, complex and ambiguous antagonist was Garland and he had to play third fiddle to those Saturday mourning rejects.

[@Zelink108]

RedGoblin Also this by “Final Fantasy? Whatever” (Note: translated from Russian so I apologize for the grammar): Part 1: “Aesthetically and ideologically disgusting, with a beautiful, but completely inanimate world, with exactly one decent character in the middle of an idol of idiots, giving even more idiotic answers to idiotic questions and finally forgetting what conceptual integrity is and finally merging in a series of daneny dragged in by the ears and tons of inappropriate, incoherent, indigestible undersight.“ “Frankly, I do not know where to start the review ff9. In the case of the eight, everything was more or less clear what exactly the problem was and where the developers took the game "in the wrong direction". In the case of the nine, I manage to vytsepit some glimpses of something good ... and nothing more. A huge number of people are jerking off on her, calling her the best finale and so on, but this is a catastrophic failure worse than eight. No, I understand, of course, there is a world there. Alexandria, Delhi, Treno, Lindblum. Maybe Burmetia. Well, plus the forest-swamp. Okay, fine, small tube nice continent with beautiful prerenderennym scenery and cool music. I can give you that. But no more. The fact is that this world is inanimate. The inscriptions that inhabit it are completely cardboard, and they do not care about anything; they, for the most part, have two remarks for the whole game: “everything is okay” and “oh neta, our city is razed, so what’s next”. The residents of Treno seem to ignore almost everything that happens in the world, Lindblum after the Alexandrian invasion remains a static picture until the end of the game, although the heroes have to visit it many times (if anything, on the 2nd and 3rd disks changed replicas of random non-records, and it was possible to get the opinion of the people about what is happening, at least). All that FF9 can offer as a world is cardboard decoration with musical accompaniment. And this is only half the battle. The heroes leave their lamp foggy continent and go to explore the planet, arriving eventually on the outer continent. There, too, okay - black magicians, strange gnomes, a fateful tree. The plot for this moment is also quite up to date, albeit slowly: in the first two discs we kidnap the princess, find out about the beginning of the war, try in vain to save three unfortunate cities from Alexandria, find out who the main villain is and go to find out where he is from and why. The plot as a tie. Only in the place where the climax was supposed to begin - in the confrontation with Kuja on the supertree - almost nothing happens, he only emphasizes his status as the chief villain and disappears. After that, we are introduced to Garland - and this is where the screenwriter's fantasy ends. The remaining half of the world is a forgotten continent and a lost continent. Feel the difference? The entire third disc passes behind the idiotic fetch-quests, which are given the most helpless explanations, and at the end of the scriptwriter finally breaks the roof, and he begins to smack the utter hell, juggling with the words "life", "death", "soul", "Gaia", "Terra" and "memories" in no particular order. Garland, spartan-cast off the stage, continues to weave a mad narrative, heroes roam the metaphysical world of other people's memories, Kuja affects to the banal "if not me, then no one," and the final boss of all this creative impotence becomes the final boss without a kind and tribe, the remarks and motivations of which make as much sense as in everything said on Terra. Zero. Final Fantasy IX is often tried to justify by saying that this is a “cute children's fairy tale” - as if it should turn away any claims to it. This is not a children's fairy tale, by the way, already on the age rating. This finalka, and finalki aimed at teenagers, and teenagers same, as you can see, ff9 and praise. It is full of empty and useless pathos replicas, inserted there for the sake of pathos, and a good half of the screensavers are there only so that Central Asia joyfully jumped up (I am sure that there are those who claim that ff9 is the best already because summons in headpieces), and on the relevance of this in the narrative and common sense are closed eyes. Even if we consider it from the perspective of a fairy tale, then it fails here as well. Kuja - the character is not fabulous. And Kashchei the Immortal, named here Garland, destroys the illusion of the deliberate simplicity of the plot here, twirling over and over the new coils of the unexplained and unintelligible varodot of facts, nothing of which does not take shape (hello, ff1). All this nonsense about Gaia with Terra does not fit into the fabulousness, which could be referred to during the first two disks. And is it worth saying that this attempt to look smart completely failed? Generally, Final Fantasy IX is a very silly game. In all. Attempts to the confusion of the plot are powerless and miserable, the drama is stark, the characters are empty, the central idea ... oh. The main idea of ​​the game, constantly promoted by the protagonist and repeatedly emphasized by almost all the dialogues with Amaranth, is “do different garbage without thinking about anything, and you will have everything fucked.” Actually, this is exactly what was in FF8, and what I said in the post about adulthood . Zidane is the maximum infantile that gets away with everything, because he is Maris, the author's favorite: he and the coolest dick on both planets, and playboy, and fucked all the women, and got the princess, and saved all his friends shit-brother nicely said goodbye, but he managed to get a show to his woman. Disgusting. Stupid and other storylines. Vivi suffers from existential problems solved by one elementary replica - cogito ergo sum. All the chatter about the fear of death is solved by a no less trivial answer about the need to leave your mark on life, to make a difference. In general, all these shouts of black magicians about mortality look enchanting. Okay, let them live a year or two, and people - forty times more. All the same, everybody dies, and the World Cup, unlike people, do not need long-term growth and upbringing, they can do everything at once. They are ready to begin, well, making a difference. In general, almost nothing is said about empty genomes - they are simply thrown onto Gaia, and all is a horse. In general, the topic of artificial life, self-awareness and its place in the world is quite interesting, and one can argue a lot about it. But Sakaguchi does not know how to reason. In FF9, there is not a single clever idea, and Steiner has the only more or less tangible dilemma. However, thanks to the incredible fatness of the local blackness, even the stupid Conservus quickly makes the right decision to spit on loyalty to the crown and protect Garnet.-“

[@Zelink108]

RedGoblin Part 2: “-And that's all, yes. The same Garnet is also supposed to be a central character, but she is a dummy. It consists entirely of mummies about the mother, continuing even after Bran’s death, and rare snot against Zidane. It is ridiculous that she wanted “ to manifest herself not as a queen, but as herself ”, but in fact there is nothing to show. Frey is generally worthless in the flesh. Amaranth, as mentioned earlier, was created only so that someone would go after Zidane and hunt for how he succeeds in his randomness. And almost all the time there is a character in the frame, exuding streams of concentrated uebanism (even if you close your eyes on Quin, then the first half of the game is Steiner, the second is Eiko; in fact, the best segment of the game is just between Ravavenky’s departure from the team and her undead). This is not a comic relief, there are too many to write it off. Yes, and successful jokes there is zero. They are not funny, they are annoying; these morons have an idea fix, and they ring about it in every second replica. Princess princess princess, zidanzidanzidan, food. I don’t understand how the nine-podrochers generally turn their tongues to blame some dvenashku for the insufficiency of the local characters: from the local cohort of morons only one character can be called tolerable - this is always looking for answers Vivi. All the others are, as it is now fashionable to say, the bottom of the fucking. Well, yes, what is the result of this game? About friendship and mutual assistance? Zidane himself, who sends all fuck before a visit to Kuja, refutes this. And, in the end, isn't it in the absolute majority of the finals that this topic is overburdened? Do heroes gathered in the party not support and help out each other simply by default? Is not this promise in itself worthy of Leopold the cat and the preparatory group of the kindergarten? Oh yes, many people still like to say that ff9 is a “return to the roots” of the series. It couldn't be farther from the truth. Yes, in ff9 full references to the previous parts. Mostly so thick that after them you need to wash hands with Fae. Wow, Gulug volcano with music, fuck what reference. And Garland and Sarah are ff1 characters, did you know? Nothing, what about their other roles at all? Ramukh gives the heroes a test - to hear a retelling of the story of Joseph from ff2. Just a retelling without any relevance to what is happening here. And at the end of ff3 and ff4 all the Dartanyans prayed, and the heroes resurrected to otpidd the last boss, who got out of nowhere, what a fucking move, let's repeat. And what, this is called a "return to basics"? A bunch of poor easter eggs? True? Because the origins of FF are, for example, Amano, and not the disgusting art design of the nine (I myself do not like Amano, but he also has something better). The origins of ff is a developed system of professions ff5 and an open world ff6. Nine, on the other hand, limited herself to returning four characters to battles, and the rest degraded almost to the level of ff4 - the fixed roles of heroes, the inability to change the game for most of the game, spoiled by the fuckin 'ATV. The latter, of course, infuriates to horror. Hiroyuki Ito, who created the final warrior, then re-formed it into ff4 at ATV and finally developed it to the proper level at ff5-6, in the nine in an incredible way he got into a puddle, trying to make the fights more dynamic. It turned out anything, but not. For the slow-witted, I will explain: in ff7 and ff8, for example, commands ordered to a character are executed immediately: if you wish, you can go to the menu and wait out all the animations (of course, everyone has ATB-Wait, I imagine who you need to be to choose Active ). In ff9 - no. In ff9, teams start to run only with the running ATV scale, and enemies can interfere between ANY party animations. Moreover, the game has statuses that work on time - for example, Poison, Venom, Doom - and they often kill characters right during their animation. That is, the Persian is alive, but poisoned, he throws an antidote at himself, and while the animation is on, he dies, and all for nothing. In general, all fights consist of tedious busy animations, and the characters spend almost as much time in the ready position for an attack as they wait for the ATV scale to be filled. And this is wrong. It’s also wrong that we have to suffer because the assholes have drawn long animations, during which the characters die and which I, for example, do not want to watch at all. By the way, the return to the real origins would have been marked by minimalism: Persians on the right, monsters on the left, a move made, damage passed, monsters killed, three seconds for the winning melody, ran on. However, in ff9 the hand of the game designer is still felt. The idea with ATE is excellent - it's a pity that the local characters are shit, and the scenes with their participation are extremely empty. A variety of danjens are also good, in theory. In practice, the sand palace turns out to be zilch, because all the boss's power packs gather by themselves, Oeylvert simply does not represent anything special, Ipsenovskaya heri - on the contrary, is just annoying because there is no understanding of what principle the damage starts to be calculated, and all cases wildly besyat random battles. In general, well done, that tried, but still the gameplay remained a complete shit. What remains? Mognet - good. Weapon synthesis is good. Card game - terrible rubbish without adequate motivation, without prizes and without sensible landmarks. Moreover, it is all built on a random house, even the rules say that there are no guarantees, and everything depends on luck and nothing else. Chocoly is also completely random muck. It is clear that the process itself is successfully delays, but you stop somehow and think that you are hammering the ground for hours in the hope that this time the random chopographer spits at you. It's not okay. And the secret boss, Ozma, is also made of a bad random. I killed him once, ten years ago, at the 66th level. The first couple of times he just demolished my team cleaned up, not really giving anything to do (statuses, animations, aha), and on the third he immediately took off himself twice for 9999. Necron also dabbled with me for 15 minutes with permanent Grand Cross, from which I did not have time to be treated. In short, if you like random, go leave the cube until you get bored. And here we come back to what we started from: what about the good nine? MMM: World, Music, Mugla. Well, and, perhaps, a variety of gameplay, which in itself is not ok. And a legitimate question: how can one give a game in which practically everything is “bad” or worse, an estimate ... at least above average? Because I tend to 4.5 / 10.”

[@SerechII]

Agreed man, that's one of those stories that stays with you for a long time and you have to replay like once a year to feel the nostalgia of every moment Game's real good

[@dLzzzgaming]

Quina actually needs more than 99 frogs to do 9999 with Frog Drop, but her/his blue abilities are really strong nonetheless. Lvl5Death, Lvl4Holy, Mighty Guard, White Wind, Auto Life and Angel's snack are almost always useful, and then there are some situational ones that can be usefull too, 1000 needles, bad breath, Pumpkin head, mustard bom/frost, s/he's just a beast honestly

[@RecorderArcade]

::Zidane carrying box of treasure:: “We can never visit this castle again.” -10 gameplay hours later... “Crap”

[@NeoWasami]

Quina smoking a cigarette to Vivi's outrage is the best scene in all of the videos lol

[@joshuakent5821]

You missed a joke: Every character: "Ah yes, Kuja. That guy on the silver dragon." Cutscene: shows Kuja on a dragon that is clearly green

[@jacobmonks3722]

It's just the 4th Horse of the Apocalypse where nobody can agree if it's green or white.

[@Zanji1234]

i'm actually happy that in the german version Garnet calls herself LILLY after this cutscene since Zidane had a "Liliendolch" which would be a Lilly dagger sooo.. at least it's a name xD

[@Toni7926]

It never made sense to me in the English version how being called "Dagger" is good when trying to stay undercover. However Lili/Lilly is actually a real name that would help in that situation.

[@mosesbrown4126]

New name for Garnet. Thank gourd.

[@SilentGin]

Even Necron makes more sense there and in FFVIII they actually translated the right sentences from Japanese and not all those countless "Whatever..." 's

[@csargent31]

Actually, I always thought Dagger sounded like a cute female adventurer' s name when I first played ff9.

[@kingsarverjr502]

Why didn't she ever go by, 'Sarah'?

[@CaptainAstronaut]

RIP Amarant Gone & Forgotten So forgettable I literally had to look up his name despite having played FFIX twice

[@jacobmonks3722]

He really doesn't add much other than being a foil for Zidane. But Zidane didn't really need that.

[@hornyanddepressed6805]

@@jacobmonks3722 He should have been a temporary party member rather than a permanent one. He took Freiya's Screentime and ended up being less memorable than Quina, who was a completely optional Party member.

[@L3vi4th92]

@@hornyanddepressed6805 actually Quina is not an optional party member

[@namefirst4108]

@@hornyanddepressed6805 Quina is not. Sometimes he/she leaves the party but comes back again at right time and till later disc 3, later disc 4, he/she never leaves team. Not like Locke and Terra in FFVI, not leaves team intentionally but still miss the team.

[@DopestDany]

Same loool

[@decusq]

6:53 "Come on now don't be so dramatic! I left you all with One HP... I'm not a total bitch i'm just morally conflicted!" Best line in the damn video, has me laughing every time!

[@thephoenix7242]

I was expecting the tailed alien fights his evil brother to lead to a DBZ joke

[@glennsperling736]

Well, Steiner did sound exactly like King Kai

[@biancaarmstrong5097]

Dear voice actor who voiced Zidane in this funny nutshell video, my name is Bianca Armstrong and I think you did an amazing job voicing as him and having that awesome motivation. You see Zidane is my most favorite final fantasy character and I wish he was more loved and appreciated. Maybe Brynce Papenbrook seen this funny video and thinks you did a great job voicing him. Keep up the great work Kougakun7 and I hope you achieve amazing things. Stay so happy, Bianca Armstrong *PS, I wanna see a MMD version of this someday.*

[@_dippydocus]

Vivi's voice and personality are perfect

[@AC-xt9ut]

Vivi's 20 second rant about the competition is golden. Havent laughed so hard in a long time

[@decusq]

09:07 ok whoever played the Queen your voice acting was spot on, i honestly feel like that would be her voice in a fully voice acted FF9

[@BJGvideos]

Brahne's voice here. Thank you so much! That means a lot.

[@juanmarailgun7783]

Amarant: I'm coming with you. Zidane: cool what do you do? Amarant: well remember that claw you got in disc one that nobody could use? I can. I'm both the Monk and ninja character here so I can reach 9999 with moneythrowing. Zidane: yeah um.... Shock and Flare don't cost us all our money, sit at the back and don't bother us.

[@BurningAzure]

Amarant, so much of an outcast he isn't even good enough to be an outcast

[@megasean3000]

Was I the only one who loved this game when it came out? Loved the story, characters, music, gameplay and those epic cutscenes (Rather surprised the Assault of the White Dragons was cut, arguably the best scene in the entire game, right beside You Are Not Alone and South Gate chase). It is the one of very few games I play multiple times and was my very first RPG. Easily one of my top ten games of all time and number one Final Fantasy game.

[@Jose-se9pu]

A lot of people hated the style back in the day...

[@laurencebrown3822]

I liked how, after the technology heavy games of 7 and 8, that they went back to being mostly fantasy in Final Fantasy.

[@Chelaxim]

@@glidingfalcon4370 Oh even on this video you said X was the last Squaresoft FF,care to add all those adjectives on this comment as well? You say that IX fans are obnoxious when you are just an obnoxious X fan.

[@badassoverlordzetta]

Nah, 9 was amazing when it came out and is still amazing today.

[@shadowknight1121]

I loved this game and still do.

[@macabre_and_cheese]

9:35 "Okay I believe you" Deadass I instinctually shouted God dammit Sora!

[@Sora-xm5xe]

17:04 Cloud and Barret spoted! Ohhh myyyy-Cloud Looks so happy and proud :3

[@CraftyMatt]

The time has come, and so have I. Thanks RABS for letting me voice the great and legendary airship frog, Cid!

[@mythiel507]

Loved how steiner was presented here haha, great voice actor too

[@claiborneowens3492]

Same

[@gydorack]

Amarant "I'm on the cover and literally contribute nothing to the story."

[@4DeMS]

Mist ships can't fly without mist! Cargo ship and Zorn and Thorn's ship: "hold our beers"

[@mr.battle20]

There was enough mist in the engine to get them through the South Gate safely. Other mist ships do it all the time. The only place where it would be problematic is if they tried to travel to a place without mist at all, like the Outer Continent. The engine would run out pretty quick and they'd be screwed.

[@MrAuthor3DS]

Weren't Zorn and Thorn using the stolen steam-powered Hilde Garde?

[@4DeMS]

@@MrAuthor3DS remeber when the Black Waltz commandeered their ship on the way to Lindblum? I guess technically that was a cargo ship... Hmmm. Fuck.

[@jackhye7785]

Zidane: Who are you? Necron: A poor implemented final boss Damm that cracked me up big time. God those joes never gets old. Really love this series :)

[@IAmHotSau5]

Steiner: as voiced by king kai

[@BJGvideos]

My thoughts exactly!

[@AetheriusAri]

And Queen Brahne is Frieza!!!

[@roccaflocca4312]

Yeah, I'm a little confused... If this the actual voice actor making this? Or just an obnoxiously spot on impression?

[@Chaosfox04]

King Kai was the first voice I thought of.

[@BJGvideos]

@@AetheriusAri Oh goodness. I was going for "cranky old lady" but that works too.

[@notaboutroses1710]

Vivi's attitude cracked me up. Amazing job on this!! You really show Final Fantasy IX from the more funny and unlogical part. "Wow Vivi why don't you do that more often?" "Because it blew half our CGI budget, now we have to fly to Lindblum using in-game graphics!"

[@notnownorman]

‘What, active time event? Ah Zidane must of pissed someone off’

[@nesoukkefka1741]

Necron : Hey so are we fighting or what ? Zidane : Huh sorry but who are you ? Necron : A poorly implemented final boss. Zidane : OH Men LOL Necron in a nutshell XD

[@nesoukkefka1741]

@SuperSimba6 Necro's difficulty isn't the point here.

[@nesoukkefka1741]

@GKP Trashcorner Dude I was just quoting the video nothing else ^^.

[@heyitsjustjacob5308]

Yes finally someone agrees

[@Kanerudo]

It's kind of sad that a final boss, that doesn't have anything to do with the story is way stronger than a final boss who is the main antagonist of the whole world, who created his own religion, is over 1000 years old while being inside a more or less unstoppable whale and who always possess the aeon who beated him (Yu Yevon)

[@TheRealTricky]

Purely as a boss (so I am purely speaking now in terms of gameplay) Necron is worthy of one, but storywise.... He's just there for the sake of being there, so yeah "poorly implemented" is certainly true. Not to mention that in the scenes directly following the fight with Necron he's mentioned as much as before the fight... which is ZERO times.

[@jamesestridge7885]

Zidane: “No seriously, am I close to getting some tail or what?” *Rim shot*

[@alesiamarchenko2918]

7:39 - 8:08 And then three, no, six girls jumped in jacuzzi with Zidane... It just killed me😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@andrewjoyner3450]

“Oh no we lost the two dimensional fat joke.” 😂

[@Cloud-dt6xb]

And sadly he's not wrong, that's really all Quina is in the game and the fact that your forced to use her/him is my only gripe with the game.

[@djayramos2331]

When your magic takes more CGI budget than actual MP

[@jackiestewart8376]

Was that actually what happened?

[@coolguy02536]

@@jackiestewart8376 The battle animations were pretty exaggerated.

[@quinaquen298]

Personally this was always my favorite final fantasy the soundtrack is everything. Also Quina has always been by favorite final fantasy character. With all that said this is absolutely hilarious and painfully accurate!

[@mero4732]

do you intend to stay here and watch? Steiner: *Y* *E* *S*

[@ivangass7770]

Lmao!

[@Ammdar]

"The one final fantasy fans hated" Naw I owned it when it first came out, I loved it then and still do.

[@coolguy02536]

Hey, all the games have fans after all.

[@13crystals61]

@@coolguy02536 Then where are my fellow FF2 fans?!

[@nesoukkefka1741]

To be truth yeah during his release this game had some dumbass who were going around, telling thing "OH This game is to childish, it's not as dark and mature as FFVII or VIII" -_-, glad these days are over and these dudes just shut the fuck up nowadays.

[@juliocosta2944]

@@nesoukkefka1741 FF9 is one of the darkest, if not the most dark games in the series, with serious themes being talked about

[@nesoukkefka1741]

@@juliocosta2944 Well thing is this game is indeed dark, I mean the main theme is Life and Death after all, oddly tough it also has a lot of lighthearted scene and funny moments which balance with the more serious and dramatic moment, my guess is the dumbass that were saying this game is to childish only play the first hours and nothing else.

[@stephengrenleski1972]

"Abilities don't matter!". I took the time to have all my party members acquire Auto-Haste, Auto-Regen, Reflect, and Reflect x2, and after that, every battle was basically won already before it started. Hell, Kuja even killed himself for me because he kept casting spells on me that did lots of damage, but because of Reflect and Reflect x2, all his spells bounced back onto him and did 99,9999 damage for each spell. Auto-Haste and Auto-Regen basically healed me for attacks that weren't magic and weren't affected by Reflect and Reflect x2.

[@thugmouth5251]

Cool?

[@legendaryohope4670]

Ability really a big matter. You need it to encounter some really bad effects that strong bosses, strong regular enemy(like Grand Dragon) give you during the battle. Actually, you could cure many of them by medicines but imagine every members in team is infect and enemies do it from time to time, it takes time to cure and no time for counter.

[@namefirst4108]

But reflect abilty is a two-edge knife. It made FFIX boss want to use AOE damage then 1 target damage so I remove all the reflect. Actually, it cannot dodge flare, flare star, doomsday, meteour, counter meteour.

[@casehyndman2289]

Steiner getting pegged at the end was NOT what I expected in this video but god damn it if it wasn't funny all the same.

[@jules5215]

And the point of that was "I am letting go off my past and moving on" "No you just cut your hair" Every girl ever.

[@vibra7]

Serena from Pokémon, If you know her, cut her hair for some reason only god knows and became less appealing for the rest of the season

[@jules5215]

@@vibra7 I think I've done that like 5 times in my life so far and i am not even 30 yet

[@galaxier3543]

Also Serena from dragon quest 11, although I think in that game it felt WAY more influential for some reason...I think she got special powers for cutting it or something

[@michaeljames6737]

@@vibra7 alteast she looked nice

[@hiddenbutdeadly]

'what is a potion supposed to do?" Beatrix -"well it's your fault for not paying attention to information so secluded and unimportant about Alexandria guards back in disc one" "I WAS RUNNING AWAY FROM MY MOTHER!!!"

[@biancaarmstrong5097]

As much I love Final Fantasy IX, this is funny. Also the person who voiced Zidane for this funny video did a good job. By the way I love Zidane Tribal

[@bandito241]

Zidane was supposed to be a parody of the real Zidane, but I don’t see much difference here. 😂

[@bover-5]

I wouldn't have gotten the "Greg" joke at the end if I hadn't just done the Manderville quest line last week, so kudos on the timing of that..!

[@rydiaofmist8190]

17:30 Regent Cid is _literally_ Kermit the Frog 😂

[@myLitanie]

Best part of the video. I come only to hear Kerbit/Cid place weights on a scale. Love his voice. Lol

[@pasqualembisceglia1989]

Wow! Kermit the Frog is from The Muppets and Sesame Street.

[@BJGvideos]

Hey guys! Brahne and Kuja here! How did you enjoy this? I also have a partial playthrough of FFIX on my own channel where I do ALL the voices if you want to watch, and I do fully intend on finishing it!

[@molonlabe1509]

It was really goddamn funny actually. And weirdly nostalgic. Really well done with the actual cutscenes and all.

[@BJGvideos]

@@molonlabe1509 Wait do you mean my playthrough or this video here? Because I just did the two voices. I mean I'm still glad you liked it.

[@zekdom]

Your Kuja is hilarious! Well done

[@BJGvideos]

Thank you! I'm glad you like it. It's a very fun voice to do.

[@namidosega7961]

You should say Bitch more often, i really like it when you say that. WAIT WHAT NO! i mean, yeah i very enjoy them both

[@BigSisterNeko]

I loved FF9. Plus I love Steiner’s voice. He sounds like a southern drunk lol

[@lonestonergaming]

19:35 Pissed-off Dagger is the funniest thing of an already hilarious parody.

[@banmendoza2994]

Thought amarant would be part of the outcasts at least 😂

[@leonfurry]

I came for the outcasts. It’s like the marvel bonus to your nut shells.

[@dri_him]

Haha "your nut shells" what are you referring to exactly?

[@lvaldivieso04]

Dude I'm playing FFIX again and I hear RaBtoons Kuja's voice when I read his lines. I won't take him seriously anymore xD

[@BJGvideos]

As Kuja's voice in this, thank you...?

[@MasterKnightDH]

10:06 NOOOO! IT'S A LADDER! OUR SKILLS AND WEAPONS ARE USELESS AGAINST IT!!!

[@michellekristolia3758]

That "AAAH look! It's a town full of Zidanes! See that's how that feels, JERK" Literally killed me 😂😂😂

[@zellodine4708]

Rip

[@Aquaghost302]

I remain irked to this day that the scene with Zidane riding the vines down to Kuja at the end was done with in-game graphics rather than getting its own CGI clip.

[@RABtoons]

Me too buddy!

[@yuyaricachimuel555]

Really? It looked like it’s own cutscene

[@mattwatson1974]

@Aquaghoat302 remember they blow most of their CGI budget when Vivi destroyed black waltz3

[@xmurphinegaming6500]

I don't know why, but Zidane hitting on Kuja had me. HAHAHAHAHAHAH.

[@marymartinlucy]

August 2023, I'm a 35 year old replaying FFIX waiting for Starfield to drop early access this Friday. Found this gem of a video and enjoyed every minute of it. Amazing job, thanks to everyone involved for making me laugh my head off.

[@tenbutts]

Been waiting for this. "No Zidane don't leave" "naw she's hot" "But we're your family. We need you" "Hot girl" "We grew up together Zidane. You don't even know her" "No, hot girl "

[@RABtoons]

Haha should have had this in the video

[@tenbutts]

Sorry that was worded poorly. I have been waiting for this video. The rest of the comment was how i described the game for 2 decades.

[@ajnapalm]

6:30 The awkward moment you remember that's his Brother.

[@4DeMS]

I know right? what a fuckin weird-ass family... Garland is like the worst dad ever

[@Kahanami]

"I'm Kuja, BIIIIIIIIIIITCH!"

[@fictionschmiction4478]

I know this is an old joke but....Steiner sounds like King Kai. Been watching the playlist of FF for the past few days now. Great work.

[@MEBlueHatGuy]

Calling Gilgamesh Greg.... You know I'm gonna hold out for a Hildebrand video now right? Show me what only a Manderville man can.

[@Saiharachii]

Pinky 010 shinu gilgamesh

[@danielevans7439]

Cid VIII was Robin Williams and Cid IX was Kermit the Frog. So what will Cid X be? Bruce Willis?

[@allenhernandez3350]

Just watch out for CID xiii

[@jeffreymijares2494]

Probly or the rock lol

[@chrispage5535]

Now I can properly THANK you !!!!! This is my FAVORITE FINAL FANTASY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!yes that many exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@RABtoons]

Thank you my good sir!

[@Ninjacookie75]

I'm writing the truth, I'm writing my truth! Definitely is my favorite part of the whole thing.