Finally Break The Push Pull Dynamic To Get Your Ex Back

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[@krisgi00710]

Hi, Alex. I broke up with my FA or DA BF after 9 years last October for stonewalling. I am SA, and it was a boundary. We have recently been back in touch after months of NC and then sporadic contact with him pulling back in the end when we built momentum at one point. We even had lunch the other day, per his request. It was great seeing him after so long. So great that I invited him to a party at my house this weekend. He said he would get back to me and even called me a few days later to chat but ended the great conversation by saying that he was still "unsure of the plans he maybe had" the night of the party and would get back to me (take 2). Since then, it's been radio silence. The party is tomorrow, so I called last night to remind him. He has yet to answer. Why is it so dang hard for these folks to do the simplest thing?

[@AlexisFriedlander]

It sounds incredibly frustrating when someone you care about sends mixed signals like this, especially after reconnecting. His avoidant tendencies might make commitment feel overwhelming for him, even with something as simple as plans.

[@MPR2007]

Been dumped by DA 30 days ago, she already announce to her family that we wont get married, and she decided to be alone for the rest of her life. She is honest to express about this break up, she felt free and happ (3 days ago) . I feel trashed and destroyed, but never beg or question about break up. But i told her about attachments theory and its dynamics, hoping we can learn something. I realise that i deal with a sick person that relieve half of my broken heart. Love her so much

[@womanhoodisnotacostume7648]

I'm so sorry... I'm going through similar situations. It's tough as F

[@sarakiara3470]

Did she came back?

[@MPR2007]

@@sarakiara3470 Well i got her back in June 2023, and she discarded me at Dec 2023. Finally i realise she is a covert narcissist. What i have to do is block and go for no contact for good. I am healing now.

[@twolf4920]

i been doing the opposite .. thats why its been a year and i havent got my ex back ... thank god he never blocked me .... i will do what you said in this video....and see what happens... finger crossed !

[@Marauder-kd8zi]

The hard thing is that after the breakup it was fine and then my anxiety got the best of me from her being rude to me and screwed up told to move on so now I guess it’s a waiting game I didn’t get blocked on snap tho

[@anothercat9600]

Alexis, about the vulnerability hangover (pull away for a week after great fun date), could you explain to us how this feels for an avoidant?

[@lionel1907]

Something that is not said here is that the dumper is always an avoidant. My ex is an anxious, I was the avoidant. We reversed our style as she is now avoidant and me the anxious.

[@siyafaith5615]

Why must we be the ones bringing ourselves down for them

[@lionel1907]

Very good but my ex is anxious and I was the avoidant. Now the roles are reversed. I'm anxious and she interacts with me daily but keep emotional distance. So what do I do ?

[@sadiqua7]

I did the anxious thing for a bit, but wised up and am in no contact - 2 weeks now. You’re right, he would respond all day if I kept it light. The minute I said I missed him, radio silence so I stopped reaching out. Not blocked or anything, he’s just not communicating. Feels like I’m in a game of chicken! 2 weeks ago he told me he was in my building and in my neighborhood, I didn’t say I wished he would’ve stopped by, tried to be mildly interested. Hoping no contact doesn’t last for months, this is torture. I’m lightly dating others but can’t get invested in anyone. Weirdly feel like if I did it would be cheating

[@skyt8327]

What ended up happening?

[@i8dan]

Thanks for the video! How should one navigate an avoidant social media stalking them? They have blocked me on social media, but have requested to follow me with fake accounts.

[@paugarciabcn]

What about a letter expressing gratitude for everything and remembering the good moments? Can it come across as emotional manipulation if I give it to her 1 month or 2 after break up?

[@user-qo1qg3us3p]

Dear Alexis....I need your help....my avoidant ex came back after 3 months no contact....we had a deep and emotional communication in person and finally we spent the night together....but in the meantime,she involved with a guy in a rebound relationship....the day after we met,she left for vacation with the guy but she told me that I will be in her thoughts....what I'm I supposed to think when she's back???.....is she mine or else???......I'm very confused....please give me a clue....

[@XBSA]

Akou mikre, 1) Oi gynaikes einai san thn skia sou, oso kai na akoloutheis thn skia sou den tha thn piaseis pote, allakse kateuthinsh kai 8a se akolouthei ekeinh. 2) Vges me ta filarakia sou k mhn tous prizeis gia thn gomena, an den paizoun filarakia den peirazei ksekina gymanstikh, phgaine gia treksimo, perpathma klp. 3) Afou pidixtike me allon,den aksizei na xaliese, MHN EISAI PROBATO. KLEISE THN PORTA GIA PANTA. 4) Gine Olympiakos na min vlepeis koupa 1 fora ka8e dekaetia. Eisai o kalyteros, auth exase. o MPAMPAS sou

[@bonton9441]

And stop calling other men " dear " if u want your ex back

[@MajaSafarova-dc7kr]

I