Finding Your Purpose in the Empty Nest Years (Part 1) - Jim Burns

When the kids are gone, couples can discover a richer, deeper, and more fulfilling life than they ever imagined! But that transition can come with a lot of emotions and realizations as you try to discover, “Now what?” As an empty nester himself, Jim Burns returns to Focus on the Family to give you help as you enter this new stage of life. He provides hope for your marriage, your friendships, and your future as you seek to pursue the next calling God has on your life!
Get Jim's book, Finding Joy in the Empty Nest: bit.ly/3MQeDF3
For more resources on this topic: bit.ly/3A3HaQb
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[@Viking-tc8on]

When our kids grow up, we become their consultants (if they ask!) not their managers, anymore! I love all their ages!! Motherhood is the best adventure I have ever had!!❤️😍

[@soon8727]

I had to mourn the loss of my role. Then I could run to God, who has always been the answer. He has been my Father when I was orphaned, my mother when I was verbally abused by my mother, my husband when my husband was not emotionally there for me (not to condemn him, he's only human...I mean, he can't be God) and my child when my boys went to university. That sounds strange, but Jesus said that we are his mother and brother when we do His will. By pressing into Him in my pain, I found that I adored Him like I did my boys. Now He is my boss and coworker when I need guidance and an ear at work from Someone trustworthy.❤

[@gailbleichner8526]

I love this Soon. It is encouraging to me and I am grateful that you shared it. I have experienced the same feelings.

[@soon8727]

@@gailbleichner8526 Bless you Gail with every spiritual blessing He has for you in Christ Jesus ❤️

[@Rapha-prayer]

I can’t tell you how much you’re helping me! Bless you all!

[@aliceevangelista8423]

The Big Five! I kept wanting to hold on to my adult kids…thankfully they lovingly helped me to let them go and live their lives reminding me that they love me and they’re grateful for how they were raised. I give God the credit!

[@tinamariedemerath7689]

Funny, you say "control." We speak out of love and wanting to help. On the other side, I am 55 years old, and had to deal with my older brother and a former sister-in-law "controlling" me, offering repeated advice about things I already know, recently. I jokingly reminded them both that I raised THREE kids, and ran an entire household for over 30 years. (They were married longer, but never had kids.) One of them became angry and told me off the next day, saying I had no business acting that way toward them. I felt so attacked. I'd been speaking in what I felt was the same way my former sister-in-law would speak in her own defense. Talk about feeling controlled! Still getting bossed around at my age, yet I'm not allowed to share the wisdom I've gained, with my own grown kids!

[@AntoineFinch]

My grandkids that have lived with us for 3 years have been reunited with their father and now live with him, there is nothing pleasant to us about them not being here with us even if being reunited with our son is great we still miss them! I dont know what pleasant about the feeling we have of them no longer being here! Its fun for them(the speakers on this video) not for us! At 64 yrs old my usefulness is nonexistence!

[@HopeWins777]

Imagine how single mothers feel. The church doesn't realize how lonely it can be when the kids are home and there is no spouse under roof. So when parent decides to stay single and the kids launch it is quite shocking and would be a great time for the church family to reach out for a season of adjustment to these smiling happy empty-nest parents who are transitioning into sunset years and everyone stops calling.

[@jacquelineshelagh]

It seems the single parents are just so overlooked. You have a great point. I gave up trying to fit in. And I feel better now. If those people do not call, I am just going to keep on keeping on. Lucky I have grand kids and another on the way, so am busy knitting. I have a business at home and struggle to keep the bills paid. I disagree with one of these men's ideas .. My dad offered advice all throughout his life, so did my mother. i thank them for the bits of wisdom they would hand out to me during rough times. things like :" Buy flowers, plant flowers... get the newspaper, get out each day for a walk, ... things like that.

[@aliceevangelista8423]

I’m divorced. Was a single mom of 5. When my youngest son moved out I felt a loneliness. Helped take care/babysit my first two grandchildren for 5 yrs and that helped. Now they’re older and in school. I now have two younger grandchildren 4 & 6 and I just love being asked to babysit now and then but I’m 63 now and I feel like I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m disabled and physically limited when looking for jobs. I’ll get excited about getting out and doing something for myself but I get to the front and turn back around. I don’t have “close friends” as I’ve had to weed out negative friendships. No knowing what to do with myself my life has been depressing.

[@focusonthefamily]

Hello, Alice. We were very sorry to learn of your divorce. We can only trust that God has been faithful to see you through the difficult times and has supplied you with the comfort only He can provide. Did you know we have a staff of Christian counselors here at Focus? If you would like to discuss your situation with one of our counselors (at no cost to you), call 855-771-HELP (4357) weekdays between 6 A.M. and 8 P.M. (MT). In the meantime, we encourage you to check out this helpful link (bit.ly/3ULivcB). May God’s grace and peace surround you and sustain you now and in the days ahead.

[@tinamariedemerath7689]

I facilitate a GriefShare program at my church. It offers Scriptural help and encouragement for those who have "lost" loved ones. It would be so helpful if there were a Grief group for parents of grown kids. There were so many things we experienced that we never anticipated. All four of our parents have passed into eternity, so we do not have them to talk with. I pass back and forth through the various stages of grief, about my kids' moving away, not calling or visiting, and rarely responding to our efforts to say hello. We don't want to control them...we just want to be in their lives. We miss them so much, and they don't care whether we are alive or dead. Lol! Currently in the "Ok, I now have to learn to live with out them," and occasionally the "Eh, I'm glad not to have any drama thrown in my face, anyway" phases. This period of our lives is just not playing out the way we anticipated...AT ALL. So lonely and painful.

[@ellen5276]

Closing the chapter is SUCH a big key thing. And I think it is more common not to! I am going to work to close the chapter. Thanks for this advice.

[@annwarneka868]

Helping my son find new mentors outside of his parents.

[@traciebrooks7498]

I am so glad you are speaking on this topic. I have thought -there needs to be a book on how to parent your adult children. I will be purchasing it. Praise God, you were led to write this book.

[@irenes.8731]

This platform is a breath of fresh air! You share stories, insights, and practical tips on successfully managing the dual roles of being a dedicated parent , a career professional, as well as a dedicated spouse. The speakers are all inspiring, because they are all so real, and transparent, leaving themselves open and vulnerable to the public. This allows them to showcase their unique perspectives, offer guidance, and build a supportive community with practical advice and tips to apply to your marriage. I instantly feel apart of a loving and supportive community thank you so much! I didnt know how much I needed to hear such uplifting and loving advice.

[@focusonthefamily]

Thank you for your kind feedback, Irene! God Bless you!

[@ladymuscat2483]

Thank you for your talk. The empty nest syndrome is extremely painful, listening to your talk gives me support.

[@helenh5260]

Thank you Jim for your honest and open communication. You have been a great help to me.

[@stephaniefranklin2569]

Don’t ever give up!

[@JLatzMD]

Thank you for this.

[@tanyalauritzen1854]

About to become an empty nester … 3 graduating college .. last one .. graduating high school….and all will be moved out & gone …this May ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@rlgrlg1672]

Thank you

[@GG-kx5dz]

Listening to golden advice. Letting go, When you drive on a road with lots of potholes, barriers, traffic, you warn your loved ones, colleagues, friends to avoid it and take another road. One of a ton examples. Why on earth, are we not allowed, to warn or married children, about the potholes of marraige life? Who on earth invented the rule that parents should go silent. Marraige is beautiful and dangerous. We do not tell our children this. Now I am not coping, while watching the tribulation of my son's marraige. 30 years old. Paul said: I want to spare you this. 1 Cor 7. So most married people perish, due to no training. There are tons of videos for them to watch, but I am not even allowed to encourage them to watch 1 a week. I am stunned as an empty nester single mom that married people, do not welcome any advice.

[@UnknownUnknown1]

This veered off topic quick

[@bethkemp7515]

🙏❤

[@thehappymommyguide4u]

❤❤❤

[@garypless7156]

My wife and I are both 48 with 4 grands, 1,2,3,4. She recently pasted. How do you enjoy being an empty nester after that?

[@carla7657]

I’m so sorry for your loss, praying for you 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@morganhart4552]

I will prayer for you

[@blondek767]

My kids constantly visit. Define ‘empty nest’. Lol.

[@jacquelineshelagh]

Right. My parents as well, 8 kids, always someone staying there or visiting, Summer camp in the summer for all the grand kids. We LOVED being there.

[@charlescox290]

It's odd, do you schedule the two parter interviews pack to back, or do you get to the end of the first part and realize you need the second part and their schedule is freed up enough to come back for the second part the next day, or do you schedule one, then schedule the other a month later, and then edit them together so that the can come out on consecutive days? Yes, I know, I'm kinda asking about the mad behind curtain, and revealing some of the magic of radio.

[@focusonthefamily]

Hi, Charles, thank you for your question! Broadcast interviews are all done in one session. The length of time the interview takes will determine if we need multiple days to air the broadcast. We hope this information is helpful. Blessings to you!

[@mercyphilip2303]

I’m not retired yet. 2 more years to go. My children are married and moved to another state. Why I feel so lonely while living with my husband and have a job ? I can’t imagine how I will feel when I retire. Please give some suggestions!

[@lolaalaniz9620]

Become a book reader, enjoy programs like this more.

[@daughterofthemosthigh5724]

Focus on what you can do for others ❤

[@dorothyeldridge6122]

How do I continue a healthy relationship with a daughter who is in witchcraft and engaged to a woman? We are a Christian family and felt God had said we needed to separate her from our home due to demonic influences. We are trying to show her love but she has disoned us. We do now text on service level. How do we show her we love her without condoning these aspects of her life

[@focusonthefamily]

Hello, Dorothy. It’s obvious you care a great deal for your daughter, and we can certainly understand the concerns you expressed. We have counselors here at Focus who are available to talk with you by phone to offer encouragement and guidance (at no cost). If you'd like to discuss your specific situation with a caring individual, we invite you to call us at 1-855-771-HELP (4357) weekdays between 6:00 A.M. and 8:00 P.M. (MT). The Family Help Center staff member who answers the phone will arrange for a counselor to call you back. One of them will be in touch just as soon as they're able. In the meantime, we encourage you to take a look at the following links: bit.ly/2lNuauN bit.ly/3GYNWuh bit.ly/3N3B6P9 Please know we’ll be praying for your daughter, that God will lead her in His best plan for her life. We're praying for you and your family, as well, asking Him to strengthen you and give you the guidance and wisdom you're seeking during this time. May the Lord bless and comfort you, Dorothy.

[@funmilolaadenugba8242]

It's also a cultural issue...

[@lawrencefoster5608]

You people know nothing about evil in the world. The men have been completely separated from the land and resources God intended for them. If you can't articulate what ENVY is you are not small in your own eye's or agaping, loving your neighbors,other men. Cain killed Able because of his inability to have good will for other's."THE OPPRESSED AT THE GATE". "RIGHTEOUSNESS AND TRUTH ARE THE FOUNDATION OF HIS THRONE". "THE RIGHTEOUS CONSIDER THE CAUSE OF THE POOR"why the poor fail. How can you know evils if you don't know what sin's are? What righteous judgements are from the Lord. "Open your hand wide". You really don't see the book of revelation, that the evils being done by athorities. The Lord had to confuse the language at BABYLON because the devil could do whatever he wanted,kill all mankind. You don't hear from the Holy Spirit?

[@chrissyt6959]

What is exactly your point? I am not sure.

[@hirokocoughiln6407]

Talking about empty nesters and still talking about the kids… 😅