Learning Your New Role as the Parent of an Adult Child - Jim Burns

[@awake13830]

I have a friend who has lost two out of three daughters in their 30’s to cancer. I value any time my two boys have for me now that they are adults. One lives 12 hrs away and has four children of his own. He raises them differently than he was raised. That’s his right. It’s easier for me to visit him the vice versa. I accept that. I will do anything in my power to make their life easier while I’m still breathing. My son has told me over and over he appreciates everything I offer to do for them. My youngest son lives with me and my husband. Over the years he has gradually taken on the majority of all our responsibilities and maintenance around our home. He has left several times throughout the years but has always come home when he wanted to, and he was always welcomed back. He’s a tremendous help and i feel very fortunate. Life is short folks. There’s no “one size fits all”. We don’t get a “do over”. Love each other as individuals and enjoy every minute you have. You don’t know when it will be all over.

[@cathyhamilton4718]

Perfect 👍

[@melindakeown7500]

Wise advice. I have two adult daughters with my husband of 28yrs. Our oldest is 27, youngest is 25. needed that reaffirmation.

[@fredawadeley6472]

Most of the mothers who have heard this, can find something they can identify with. It was honestly, a huge eye opener for me. Thank you so much. Eyes wide open now. ❤

[@Awnikamurra]

I hate to say this, but i no longer want to give my daughter advice. It's like walking on eggshells. My approach has always been 1. listened to her concerns 2. Acknowledge her feelings 3. Express how i might feel if i was facing the same challenge 4. Show her God's word, and what He says is the best action is. 5. Advise her the choice is hers. I never give her advice as an adult unless she ask, or it involves my grandchild that i have been raising for 10 year and i feel her actions might cause him harm. After learning, she is into witchcraft... She took him and has been blocking me for 3 years this month. Now, I learned she has given him to the father who never supported him or helped me in any way with food or clothing. She claims im some enemy and that she has always hated me. Wow, this is what I get for giving her life and taking care of her with love. I know she is being fooled by this witchcraft she's into, but once this life is over, MOMMY won't be able to save her. Pray for my grandson because i have been my only parent for 10 years, and we never had a chance to say goodbye. I refuse to allow her to hurt me just because im her mom. Im a person, and im someone's child too.

[@theresaalbano4363]

My 32 year old married son just turned around and took my grandsons from me saying I was not treating his wife respectfully and that I wanted to see my grandsons too much and now they haven’t talked to me in 8 yrs and I haven’t seen my grandkids in 8 yrs. I wrote letters of apology and finally just after 4 yrs stopped reaching out. I love them and miss them so much and live 20 min away but have no contact and they have blocked all communication. Worse pain my heart has ever felt and I don’t know what I did wrong. Didn’t think I was being controlling an don’t drink smoke and love Jesus. Sincerely broken

[@Carnivore1959]

I know a lot of women that are in same boat...BUT I can see where they were at fault . Reexamine your own actions ..even what you see as "innocent" may have been hurtful. I admire your son for being a .and and standing up for his wife and kids .

[@karenmcmillin9814]

Living a similar experience. I understand your pain.

[@KatherinePetty]

Steve Auterburn from New Life Ministries, says that this is an epidemic in our society…kids dising their parents. I totally feel your pain because we have lived something similar with our daughter. We had no idea what the issues were but just a lot of noise about what we did or didn’t do but nothing big. We were very involved grandparents and were there in hours if they needed us for anything (they live 5 hours from us). It is heart wrenching and i am so sorry for you. Just keep praying.

[@patriciacestare232]

I want to say...I believe adult children have a responsibility to help their elderly parents..period

[@rayleneveloz296]

In what way? They should depends on what you mean. Financially? Or ?

[@barbaras676]

As I age I agree with your statement to a certain extent. As a single, 60-something woman I moved across the country to be close to my son and his family both to support them and for their support. Mostly it involves occasional grandchild-sitting from me and rides to a few doctor appointments for me. But as I get older I appreciate having a younger person doing for me the things I can’t do for myself anymore!

[@whizbang7130]

That's not what they hear from counseling. They are told they owe us nothing, and we must earn their respect. Very damaging to parents 😢

[@perspectiveiseverything1694]

I agree. We, each of us, have a responsibility at least, to the generation before AND after us. (Assuming abuse or neglect didn't lead to estrangement.) NO amount of "modern" advice changes the responsibilities of these familial bonds. (But it definitely changes the outcome!) Be there for your children, to teach them HOW to be there for *their* children. Be there for your grands, so they benefit from two generations of experience and wisdom, & will be there for *their* parents. Be there for your elders to set the example for your children and grandchildren. Consistently modeling and setting the example, you make the biggest investment across all generations & nurture the best potential to be cared for in kind.

[@kendelwindsor7680]

@@whizbang7130 secular council is all me me me

[@barbaragaona7785]

Excellent advice. I have a 40 year old son that "launched" when he went to college. Married with two children. Done everything on their own. They love Jesus. I always likened it to a mother bird letting her baby fly away on their own. God has richly blessed them and thry know it. 🙏 ♥

[@debbylee6329]

You are blessed but plz don't brag when there are others out there who are suffering with adult children.

[@nccrchurchunusual]

At the end of the day, no matter the circumstances of the child rearing- our kids grow up and choose Jesus or not- they choose what they choose, just like we did (& still do). Become a prayer warrior, ask The Lord for "divine appts" with ppl who CAN give your kids Godly advice and fellowship they will receive. 2

[@reneepark6711]

@@nccrchurchunusual true!❤

[@lindalee4437]

My youngest in her thirties and addicted to Fentanyl. It’s a nightmare. She weighs about 60 lbs. homeless living in her boyfriend’s mom shed in back yard. My granddaughter has moved to another town with her dad’s family. The more I pray the worst the situation becomes. Now she’s stealing from me and I consider her very dangerous. She tricks me out of money, it goes on and on. She even checked herself out of hospital after being treated for sepsis against physician advice. Law enforcement says nothing they can do because she’s an adult. Please pray for her and also for me as I’m elderly with lots of health problems. I did the best I could raising her as a single mom. She had lots of opportunities to excel in life but chose this road.

[@focusonthefamily]

@lindalee4437 Our hearts and prayers go out to you and your daughter. Please know that we're here to come alongside you in any way that we can. If you think it may be helpful to talk things over with someone (at no cost to you), please give us a call at 1-800-232-6459. -Luna H.

[@patriciabrisley8893]

I will keep you and your daughter in prayer. ❤

[@lindalee4437]

@@patriciabrisley8893 thank you

[@lindalee4437]

@@focusonthefamily thank you

[@Bonnieuxful]

🙏🏻Ing for you two💕❤️💕

[@sum_saifainna]

If I send this video to my MIL or even my mom. They’re not gonna be happy. I’m gonna take all these advices and work with my own children.

[@Jomamacita]

Maybe realizing that they are people too and don’t always make the right choices or say the right things. Kids these days have no empathy towards their moms. We are just people learning thru life as well.

[@JeanC-jt6qs]

This is very good and timely advice! I have just shared it with some of my friends. I am now 71 years old, but it's never too late to learn!

[@orborn3580]

I don’t want anything from my three adult children, all in their thirties. I don’t need them to need me. I want them to want me just every so often. They don’t have to call me daily, weekly or monthly. A three minute call just to say hello, hope things are going well, miss you, etc., would be great. Unfortunately, we never hear from them. If we want to see them and the grandkids, we have to make the financial and time commitment to go to them. Unfortunately, this one sidedness often falls flat and feels empty because their lack of effort of any kind in the relationship is not reciprocal. They are not living Christian lives although having been raised in a Christian home. I believe this is the great divide. We now have no shared values upon which to continue to build a firm foundation. The hard reality is that people make time for those things and people that matter to them…period

[@Nisha-y3o]

One understands what you must be going through. However I like to tell you that you are not alone. I have no idea which country you are from, but it's a human trait nowadays to forget parents. Well our children are now in our shoes, they are parents and will experience the same. So we Bless them and release them. You take care of yourself.

[@focusonthefamily]

Hello, @Orborn3580. We're sorry you are going through this. If you feel it might be helpful to talk more in-depth with one of our counselors, please don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-232-6459. In the meantime, know that we are keeping you and your family in our prayers. Grace and peace to you! - Julia J

[@mariamiller4035]

🙏🏼I’m seeing this happen with my young adult kids. I say be strong in The Lord, remain joyful and hopeful. This to me means keep living for Christ and do my part . When they do reciprocate in small ways it means so much to me. I hope they never give up and stop loving us which some family members have 😢

[@susanangelilli6018]

Yes, the adult children in my life continue to ask for help when they make bad decisions. They don’t call unless they need something. It is frustrating and hurtful.

[@mailywong9612]

I am in the same boat with you , it’s a sad reality 😩

[@ninam.3803]

I’ll listen to this over and over until I get it right! Thank you I really need this.🙏🏾🙏🏾I’m 62 with 5 grown kids🤯

[@shirleymaina1663]

Me too

[@bettymacallister3475]

@@shirleymaina1663me too

[@isagoldfield7393]

Me three💖

[@suej4430]

Me four!😊

[@heathermurphy1852]

Me 5 🤯

[@dlopez7517]

Their children will treat them as parents the way they see them treat their own parents. After it's all said and done, we all just do the best we can.

[@Catherine-1968]

I really needed to hear this. Thank you to FOTF for supporting us struggling families out here.

[@focusonthefamily]

We're glad you enjoyed the video @Catherine-1968. God bless you! -Luna H.

[@susanangelilli6018]

It is difficult to parent an adult child that is constantly making bad decisions and expecting help from you. Enabling vs. Helping is an important lesson to learn as a parent of adult children.

[@RD12349]

This was very uplifting & helpful but parents have their breaking points. Idk how much I can give when I am on empty. I have been hurt by their actions & no acknowledgement no appreciation nothing. Struggling to keep afloat. That’s tough. Thank you.

[@focusonthefamily]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, friend. If there's any way we can assist you, please feel free to call 1-800-A-FAMILY. May God's wisdom and peace be yours in the days ahead!- Jocelyn C.

[@pauladavis2425]

Try to fill yourself up....then just send your love to them. That's all....just find something of them to love.

[@lrplante5602]

Such an honest discussion..; so very real and true…30 years of child protection… I have had … what would I recommend…be patient with our youth… they are are still learning and so very vulnerable. Be patient with them!!

[@KarenHarcourt]

Good message! Been praying for yrs for my situation. Glad I'm not alone. Thank you for your message.

[@tammynicewander2991]

My parents abandoned their responsibility of taking care of me during my childhood. I have spent 2 decades of my adult life trying to have relationships with them and finally came to the realization that neither parent valued me as a human being or their daughter.. They pushed me away all my life but once they got to the age of needing help, tried to pull me back in to take care of their needs. Not getting myself entangled again in their toxic lifestyles.

[@rhoadestraveled]

Thanks for the message. My son is 22 graduating from college in May and has a job lined up 5 hours away. I'm so sad he's leaving but I'm so proud of him. Its so weird to have both emotions.

[@Kindisbetter]

Parenting an adult child is far more difficult than young children and teens. Helpful hints ... the sooner you let go the more sanity you preserve. The most useful term is "whatever." Give them enough space so they can leave. Yea!!! Two weeks after they leave, you get used to it. DON'T BAIL them out financially. If you do don't expect to get a "loan" paid back. Kids think what's your is his/her's. Treat yourself to a nice vacation when they leave ... don't include them either.

[@julissacastanon982]

This was a good message 😢. I have 4 adult children still living at home. I’m worried about their failure to do real life. And their walk with Jesus. “This my family it will is little and broken but it’s still good!”

[@rayleneveloz296]

Their failure to do real life is because they are still living at home? Depends on their age though.

[@QueenOfHillCountry]

Well said. Give them notice- a timeline (not too long- 2 weeks/1 month), and then launch them out of your home. Charge Rent and living expenses and they may decide to leave on their own. Just because I did "real life" and worked hard does not mean I have to share my umbrella with my adult kids. They need to get their own umbrella. I kicked my daughter out and now she's doing her life.​ Tough Love. @@rayleneveloz296

[@emmapadro8053]

It’s very hard not to give input when you see them making bad choices that involve the grandchildren. This has taken a toll on me and my relationship with my daughter. I am burnt out.

[@LORISELONKE]

🙏

[@wandahamlett1843]

I needed this info. Best advice as a new Mom Coach of 3 adult children.

[@lucyheary6930]

💝I check with my adult sons that it’s ok to ‘mammy’ them every so often. 🤗. It’s great to openly acknowledge that they are grown ups now, yet I still have a little need to mind them! Awareness is everything…💫

[@davidleonjr5688]

Amen, great advice! Let go of control and have a respect base relationship with our children. ♥️🙏

[@zeenapaynter9150]

Thank you so much. You actually hit the nail on the head. Terrific guidance

[@brina-ly3nq]

So on point. I’m in my 40s and dropped my daughter off for college in August 😭It’s a relief to know I’m doing a few things right. This guy’s advice is perfect for me now, and for when I hopefully have g-babies one day ❤ I need this book. 😂

[@focusonthefamily]

We're glad you found the video encouraging, @brina-ly3nq! God bless you! -Luna H.

[@audreylim1256]

Thanks for the powerful messages.. indeed it is a good reminders for ourselves to land our helicopter and focus on building a legacy 😊 of course, as parents, we need to keep them in constant prayers that God will grant them wisdom, stature and favour from men and God🙏

[@meileevaj]

Thank you for this beautiful session! Appreciate it so much!

[@trishcovich1923]

You can't want it more than your kids. I love that.

[@isagoldfield7393]

Me too💖

[@rachnatawasthi44]

Thank you for making my burden that I created for myself a better world ❤

[@Eleanor-ec8qp]

Thanks for the very useful comments im 77years my adult children live an another country from me I raised them alone in that country my son is married he has 2 children I miss them just one time I have met my granddaughter and grandson my heart is broken at my sons attitude I have no contact with him he is completely detached from me my life my daughter who is 44 years old likes to stay detached emotionally and is not in touch unless she needs something I don’t know how to relate to either of my children I’ve travelled days to see them and my grandchildren while I’m there they are happy to see me but when I get back to where I live all communication stops I’d like f to feel that they would learn to be kind loving people be compassionate and caring people so these days I’m doing my best to move on and have no expectations it’s very difficult but it’s all I can think of doing

[@shireenpaul2017]

This is the modern life they are too busy with their lives ..but we need to ve occupied with our lives.. detachment is the key sister

[@focusonthefamily]

Hi Eleanor, Thank you for sharing your heart with us. Being estranged from your adult children must be difficult. Please know that we are praying for your heart. If you’d like to talk with one of our counselors (at no cost to you), call 855-771-HELP (4357) weekdays between 6 A.M. and 8 P.M. (MT). Grace and peace-Ella L

[@ezebuneayoyemi2166]

This message is so instructive and liberating! Thank you 🌹

[@judithkellerman612]

loved the teaching. Thank you

[@katherineburkholder]

Should have heard this sooner but I’m learning!

[@debbiearnold6230]

How I love my three adult child and two grandchildren. ❤

[@jerridavis6462]

Wise words from my brother, best friend and neighbor! Excellent video thank you so much! Enjoyed from Texas!

[@Brianna13Rose]

Thank you for this🙏🏼💖 Just had my first Grandchild & it’s been a challenge🙏🏼💖 But keeping my mouth shut & the welcome mat out is perfect 👍🙏🏼💖🍼 It helps me focus on my Grandson🙏🏼💖🍼🤗

[@drtv887]

wow this was highly valuable and relevant! thanks! yep! my daughter was 11!

[@FaithMuthoniWagura]

Absolutely great advice. It takes time to fully release our children but it is inevitable, no doubt.

[@sharonlarson9506]

If my kids need me now, I would feel I did a poor job raising them. At least when I am gone, I know they can take care of themselves. I have four, now two men and two women; I keep having to tell myself they live in a new time frame and they know more about it than I; who am I to tell them how to manage things? They seldom call - unless they need an honest opinion, they know I will tell them the truth.

[@4leafclover258]

On children by Khalil Gibran..❤beautiful poem

[@vintagebeliever5023]

This was wonderful encouragement! 15 years as an empty-nester and never heard this! Thank you so munch!😊❤

[@tleonard9693]

Yesss I needed this talk because I was so controlling, but they didn't want that ❤

[@surindercheema5663]

Thank you -appreciate you sharing your experiences

[@ruthirwin8222]

I know someone who has adult grandsons who are all still living at home, failure to launch really seems to be a thing

[@joycewatt8289]

Yep 👍 Got one back here; a Full grown adult step child. It’s a thing but it’s not my thing!! 😬🤦🏽‍♀️

[@christinaswaney2150]

The answer I’ve been looking for for 10 years! Thank u so very much!

[@Xhar308]

Thank you, this is excellent advice, I really needed to hear this. I will take it with me

[@lalgardner1236]

Q😊

[@Lisa-sp5if]

What would you say to parents who raise their kids up in the church and knew the gospel and lived it the best they could …one of the kids had mental issues in her team years, the younger one was just trying to get through all of it… both of them ending up at Christian colleges, but walking away from the Lord? We want to have the best relationship we can with our children, but both of them live far, one lives in another country, and the other one lives really far from us in the states. We all have very different views on basically everything, but we still have a relationship, which is amazing. It just feels exhausting to avoid so many topics!

[@focusonthefamily]

Hi Lisa, We are sorry to hear about the direction your children have decided to go. Please know that we are praying for you and your children. We also would like to encourage you to check out our adult parenting resources. Here is the link bit.ly/43bjOnS However if you would like someone to pray with you, we would like to invite you to call us and talk with one of our counselors (at no cost to you), call 855-771-HELP (4357) weekdays between 6 A.M. and 8 P.M. (MT). May the Lord continually bless you, Ella L.

[@rayleneveloz296]

Just spend time with them. All you can do. It is hard.

[@levans3447]

Yes when the kids take a different path and their values become completely different than yours It is hard to feel like you have a very great relationship It is quite superficial in many ways and so naturally it begins to just basically fade away. Just remain who you are and enjoy your life doing things that you believe in and that you enjoy and be the person that you've always been.

[@RachelShapiro-xt1nu]

Chris Rock did the same thing with his teenage daughter when she got in trouble he made her deal with the consequences! Great parenting

[@susana1002]

Love!

[@rewindthelesson]

Great video, please explore the topic on - Learning your new role as an adult child to your parents.

[@levans3447]

I see what you did there and appreciate it so much 👍

[@DonnaBurke-p7b]

That was nice.. I feel like I’m on your right path but it was a turbulent experience.. thank you for sharing.

[@Deba7777]

Wonderful presentation that I NEEDED! Thank you so much! I need that book!

[@ingert1441]

Solid advice that is so on point. Every point resonated!!

[@wendykruk1288]

Needed this

[@maryanitha5043]

Thank you so much for this....still learning here n praying for wisdom on this matter

[@annekercher7]

Appreciate prayer for 21 yr old only son who I have stunted by doing everything for him and now he's gone astray. Thank you

[@levans3447]

He chose it. Don't beat yourself up. Our Father in heaven is the perfect father and look at how His children treat Him ! Psychology tries to put all the blame on the parents but that is a lie in most cases yet the cause of so many people not taking responsibility for their own decisions. Your 21 yr old may just need to mature and realize the error of his ways . It's not all on you 💯

[@annekercher7]

Thanks ​@@levans3447

[@totheotherside5603]

I disagree with one thing. If your adult child is living in sin and you "expand the relationship" as he said, you are making it too easy for them to stay in sin. If you allow the relationship to suffer, you are allowing a consequence to manifest that will create pressure for them to come back. Of course you don't want to hammer them with judgment and condemnation to achieve this! But speak the truth in love as often as the Lord creates the opportunity. They can choose to withdraw or lean in. The choice needs to be theirs. The bible never gave an example of God drawing in closer to someone who is in active rebellion to mu knowledge. On the contrary. The prodigal sons dad let the son go to run wild and then embraced him when he came back. Jesus came into our dark world to create an exit for us who were lost... He came to walk with us *if* we repent in order to walk the same direction as him. Paul said we are not to eat with people who claim to be christians but are living in sin. That may not be the exact, one size fits all answer to every single situation but its a principle to really consider. As long as we remember that Jesus began every relationship with every sinner by dying for them so they could become a saint... we should continue to love and lay our lives down just as he did. But he spoke the truth while also reaching out at the same exact time. Delicate balance!

[@dirkbrunner2281]

Romans 2,4 God's kindness leads to repentence!

[@stephcallicott593]

You can let them know truth. But keep the door open because of you slam it they won’t come back. You aren’t as important to them as they are to you.

[@ronihayes9840]

You mentioned the prodigal son, I'm sure the Dad did not remind him of his sin daily..I know the son never returned as a perfect child. Jesus showed us unconditional love, just like we are to show our children. You.makenit sound as it's conditionally based on whether u, as their parent, feel their in sin, or not.

[@nancipellegrini7089]

​@@ronihayes9840yes, I agree with the Father,not bringing up his son's sins. The son came back knowing his own sins

[@nancipellegrini7089]

Both father and son were given a Willing heart

[@teddyaribisala4372]

Bravo! Honest conversation about relationships with our kids.

[@loridrumm5201]

Love this message

[@focusonthefamily]

@lori amen! - Treasure H.

[@yvettebennett6170]

This was profound. Thank you for this.

[@apecosner]

I have 2 children I don't have a relationship with. Ones an addict and the other one is angry at the world. I pray for them both all the time and wish for reconciliation. My son thinks I think I'm better than him, and my daughter wants to live in the gutter with a needle in her arm. I've asked for forgiveness from them both, and it doesn't seem to matter. We don't have much family so it gets very lonely for all of us. I don't know how to heal their hearts.

[@rosemarykelley3078]

😪

[@LORISELONKE]

🙏

[@ruthirwin8222]

Im divorced and my children now in 30s and 40s and they are not just wonderful......they understand that at times i revert to 'put on your coat'.....but its just my care, i do try mot to and im definitly getting better at biting my tongue

[@juliejackman2649]

After my brother passed I would be very careful with my words around my Parents - not wanting to say anything that would accidentally upset them about my brother. One day while I was visiting, Dad told me about a family friend who also passed from suicide and told me all the details and such. I very much got what message he wanted to send me.."I'm not treating you like you can't handle anything and I don't want to be treated that way either."

[@aliciatweten4885]

Very, very good!! Thank you all!!❤

[@focusonthefamily]

@Alicia Absolutely! We are so glad this blessed you! God bless you! - Treasure H.

[@lisac4375]

I wish my parents would have let go of me in college, but they never trusted in the Lord. I'm in my 40s now and they still hold on for dear life.

[@universaltruth2025]

I don’t feel much control over anything. I’m a sahm and just make dinner, clean up, take them to where they need to go, pick them up, feed the cats, rinse & repeat. I want them to have good lives but feel unfulfilled in this role now I’ve been doing if for 13 straight years (worked before that). Kids have health issues - allergies, autism & adhd. Husband seems to have aspergers. He rarely talks to me.

[@focusonthefamily]

We're sorry you're going through a difficult time, @universaltruth2025. If you'd like to talk things over with someone, please give us a call at 1-800-232-6459. We're here to come alongside you in any way we can. -Luna H.

[@Goldiloxandthe3bears]

Thank you for this. I have a good relationship with my 3 adult sons and I want to keep that going! I am eager to be a grandparent and fully jump into that role as much as my kids allow. I ordered the book! Thanks again!

[@focusonthefamily]

We're glad you enjoyed the broadcast, @Goldiloxandthe3bears! God bless you and your family! -Luna H.

[@Katmandu29]

I really want to communicate with a mom with sons. Need advice for my delicate situation- in general, I didn't stay in the home most of the time. Addiction to alcohol broke our connection which occurred when he was 3,4 years old. I was the visiting parent as I didn't want their dad to leave. He was the stable parent. After 30 years I'm still unable to accept this, guilt, loss, regret haunts me. Can't afford a therapist. I'm a born again believer.

[@christinalanalucille8322]

Thank you for this. I needed this.

[@joanzach4859]

Our Life Group did this book together.

[@susanwhitbeck4210]

Good advice

[@sumahomes-i4i]

wonderful.. Enjoy your life.

[@mmp495]

This book helped me with my adult daughter. ❤

[@SuperZiad1000]

I loved this❤❤❤

[@mr.taylor3664]

Jesus said Who is my father or mother or brother or sister is he who does the will of my father in heaven. If my adult child was living contrary to the word of God. I would treat them as any other person who is lost and tell them to repent for the kindgom of God is at hand. I would not wink at their sin. Because tomorrow is not promised, today is the day of salvation. If they choose reject me then they are choosing to reject Jesus. And that is the cost of being a disciple of Christ. People will reject you because they have rejected Jesus. But if one person repents, there is much celebration in heaven. God is no respecter of persons, and neither am I. A servent is no greater than his master.

[@cindyglass5827]

@mr.taylor3664 .... Absolutely 100% Correct - DEAD ON Comment Mr. Taylor !! Well said & Thank-you for 'speaking' TRUTH !! : ) ~ Especially ''Don't wink at their Sin'' ! & of-like ...

[@cynthiastinson7059]

Oh this is hard.

[@marilynmiller5075]

What happens when the adult children don't want advice, they insist on a bad choice. They then come to parents to help pay for the results. Since they're making their own choices, are they responsible for dealing with the outcome?

[@AW-jx4td]

My kids are all grown, and from my point of view ,as much as it hurts to see them suffer , they need to live with their choice and not you.

[@Nisha-y3o]

Yes. Experience is the Best teacher. Let them learn they will grow. Don't interrupt their growth.

[@focusonthefamily]

What a great question, @marilynmiller5075! Here's an article that may help provide some insight- bit.ly/47dB3s1. Additionally, if you'd like to talk things over in more depth with someone, please give us a call at 1-800-232-6459. -Luna H.

[@rayleneveloz296]

I'm sorry I'm not able to help out. They are responsible for their choices. It's part of their maturity and growth. You can listen and reply I'm so sorry to hear that. I know you'll work it out. End it there.

[@evaszonyi4384]

Wouldn’t it be nice to have problems like in this message? I have a father who doesn’t love his children and actually wants bad for them. Oh well, I have a good Heavenly Father.

[@joanncooper3521]

Awesome

[@lucybell1487]

Pondering your childrens choices in prayer helps land helicopter

[@TheGodsgal]

Oh perfect that is great advice. I’m living it now. Oh Lord I’m trying. Only with the Lords help

[@orianam9835]

I do not know how this video poped on my KZbin but this is the exact subject I thought about recently. I am 40 back to my country of origin and I struggle to see my parents treating me like a child . Telling me what to do or how to do

[@inezwatson6192]

I am learning so much from this video.. Where I thought I was giving constructive advice, I probably came across as criticism.. how do I fix this?

[@shb8212]

My mom never calls me. She's Anaya in her phone but never checks in, it's always up to me. We visit one another a couple times a year but she's always so distracted with her phone. If she's not on it you can tell she's just waiting to be able to go sit down and scroll. She misses so much with her grandkids, its so sad.

[@focusonthefamily]

We're sorry that you're going through that, @shb8212. Please know that we will be praying, asking the Lord to intervene in this situation and remove any distractions. Don't hesitate to let us know if we can come alongside you in any way! -Luna H.

[@EC-yd9yv]

✨❤🕊️🙏✨

[@theresaford8848]

So good!!!

[@maryannekendall3344]

One of the things that I miss the most about not having my parents, who were born in 1929 and 1935, are the values of family, marriage, work ethic, respect for elders, honoring God as well as many other aspects of life. If we continue to not pass on our values in order to get along with the kids, won't the truths and wisdom of the past generation be lost? I realize there is benefit in understanding what their culture is because we can't control where the world is going but we are to be salt and light and be different thant the world.... However, I don't have a good answer for that.

[@madeleinefombad1895]

Amen pray for me and my adult child

[@focusonthefamily]

Thanks for sharing, Madeleine. Please know that we'll be praying for you and your adult child, asking the Lord to draw you both closer to Himself and to each other in the days ahead. We serve a compassionate, loving God who knows and cares about every detail of our lives. If you ever need a listening ear, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1‐800‐232‐6459. May God's wisdom and hand of grace direct your steps as you look to Him in faith. -Mia J.

[@psychicmediumtree8743]

Learning about their culture...one of my clients daughter donated her eggs, and she found out she has grandkids she never gets to see. Culture.

[@marymensah6233]

My 21 year old says college is not for him. He dropped out of the plumbing program he had us enroll in. He just got fired again from his job. Idle in the basement with no clear goals. He ignores every opportunity to communicate with him. What can I do

[@focusonthefamily]

We're sorry to hear you're facing a challenging time with your son @marymensah6233. Please be assured that we are here to come alongside you in any way we can. If you think it may be helpful to talk things over with someone, please give us a call at 1-800-232-6459. In the meantime, you may find these resources useful in providing you with some guidance: bit.ly/47H2M43 bit.ly/3XH2t6s bit.ly/3XEewBz Our hearts and prayers go out to you during this time. -Luna H.

[@lucifoster5273]

You take away all of his resources that you have paid for. Couch in the basement? Sell it. Video game console? Sell it. Did you buy him a car? Sell it. If he’s comfortable, he’s not motivated.

[@lambsauce1468]

I think this starts in their teens. I've got 4 adult (90s) children and one 16 year old. I'd really like some advice on dealing with parents in their 80s 😅

[@joanncooper3521]

Amen

[@PaulaDOTK]

great msg! right on time & point. I claimed Isa. 43:18-19 for my son (youngest) years ago, now for my prodigal daughter (oldest).

[@cindyglass5827]

It would be good to make a Video on - Parent / ''Adult'' Child (un-healthy) Co-dependency vs. (healthy) Interdependence ; )

[@ellenyih8611]

The message is very helpful to me. Thanks for sharing this. It’s time to land your helicopter. I really like that.

[@Gina-dn6xm]

What if they have mental health problems. We have gotten him help with counseling and medication. He has a hard time holding a job for a long period of time.

[@Margaret-sv3lo]

Love it

[@davidblack5394]

What was missing from the lecture was the line in which the tough love is too tough. Every consequence doesn’t allow for a rebound.

[@artdenattic1]

Ty