First Line Frenzy™ #10: An Editor Reviews Your Opening Line | Reedsy Live

First Line Frenzy™ returns to Reedsy Live with another opportunity to get feedback from a top editor. Any writer can submit the first line of their story for critique in an educational, fun, supportive environment. Reedsy editor Rebecca Heyman will reveal what makes an opening line successful and compelling.
Submit your first line: forms.gle/HJJe...
MORE FROM BECCA
Reedsy: reedsy.com/reb...
Instagram: / beccafaithheyman
Twitter: / rfaitheditorial
FIND REEDSY HERE:
Blog: blog.reedsy.com/
Discord: / discord
Facebook: / wearereedsy
Twitter: / reedsyhq
Instagram: / reedsy_hq
RESOURCES:
Book Editor: reedsy.com/wri...
Reedsy Discovery [indie book reviews]: reedsy.com/dis...
Webinars: blog.reedsy.co...
Bestseller Podcast: blog.reedsy.co...
Prompts & Writing Contest: blog.reedsy.co...
Plot Generator: blog.reedsy.co...
Character Name Generator: blog.reedsy.co...
Pen Name Generator: blog.reedsy.co...
Book Title Generator: blog.reedsy.co...
Writing Exercises: blog.reedsy.co...
Writing Contest Directory: blog.reedsy.co...
Literary Magazine Directory: blog.reedsy.co...
ePub to MOBI Converter: blog.reedsy.co...
Reedsy Learning [free courses]: blog.reedsy.co...

[@risingsun1604]

Some of us are trying so hard to get a review and others submit not only twice and get choose twice, but submit THE SAME LINE. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@e1ght_4rms_t0_h0ld_y0u]

Ikr!!!

[@alaa_1227]

😔

[@jennifervanderkamp9707]

yeah, I've heard many of these lines before, yet it's a new video. I'm getting deja Vu.

[@emmaociewrites7365]

This was an EXCELLENT episode despite the tech issues!! The lines were all so good or such great learning moments! Thanks again, Readsy and Rebecca!

[@sunnypetawriter9624]

I love watchiing Rebecca critique. I tend to agree with some of the comments suggesting a first line isn't enough. And, if you add more lines, that will reduce the number of lines reviewed, but MAYBE the first two lines? I'd like to know the genre. Half the fun of this is trying to do my own critique before she starts. Two more lines would add to the depth of the feedback, IMO. When I don't read the first line until I know the genre i.e. I've read the blurb on the back cover, so I'll be judging it with that in mind.

[@makennazornes]

Yes, I was like I totally remember the airplane line, how could there be one again so similar?

[@greychi]

I think they're way too harsh and over the top with "the no-no opening subjects". a lot of great books start with the character waking up, such as hunger games, "when i wake up, the other side of the bed is cold" and you immediately feel the sense of dread with that sentence, which is exactly what you need in a dystopian setting. and if the shining sun illuminates a corpse in the dark woods, then who cares if it started with the weather? they shouldnt be strictly against the rules and an automatic decline, they should have the same rules as everything else, which is that if it works then it works. also, given that chapter 1 is the day everything changes for the character, then I don't mind being there with them from the moment they wake up. like, that's their last "normal" moment, or it should be at least

[@Hoots522]

You have a beautiful home.

[@IanHollis]

Can we get a bonus episode where she deconstructs first lines from classic novels? (i.e. 'Call me Ishmael.' .... 'It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife'.) Also, you can blame Mercury Retrograde for all of the technical issues.

[@firstlinefrenzy931]

I will be blaming Mercury Retrograde, thanks much! As far as classic lines go, they've been parsed to death. FLF is for work the world has never seen before (except when we accidentally cover the same line twice lol).

[@katelynharrison3779]

For the "violet eyes" line, as a woman I didn't feel like she was objectified....how else do you describe someone's physical characteristics? As a reader I like to know what the characters look like despite their gender. What color are their eyes, their hair, do they have full lips or a thin slash for a mouth? As a writer I describe eye color and lips with my male characters just as much as my female characters. Also it says "with a silent 'sorry' on her lips" which makes me think maybe she mouthed the word, which is why the author drew our attention to her mouth. I think this was a little bit of a feminism reach...

[@annejia5382]

same thought

[@dsburton]

“Only one soldier died that day.” And she says “oh you need more context in this because we don’t know what that day is, so is that a good stat or a bad stat?” Isn’t that the point ? If you want more context, read the second sentence.

[@BlackMasterJoe89]

The line about the plane with claw marks on the doors was already done in a previous Frenzy.

[@judyshinohara]

Thank you so much for all the first line frenzy lives. I love them so much!

[@thomaswkeogh]

So I got an email from Reedsy asking for an evaluative review of #10. I followed the link to Eventbrite, signed in, and found no option to do that. I went back to my inbox but couldn't find the email. I just wanted to say I found the session informative. I very much appreciated Rebecca for sticking her neck out. Her task potentially created frustration or anger from people who didn't get their lines reviewed or were critiqued and found weak. It required spontaneous critical thinking combined with grace, which she performed superbly. She answered the "snow" question about her fence with the verdant trees behind it for like the tenth time without blinking an eye. You're a champ, Rebecca!

[@firstlinefrenzy931]

Ha! Thanks, Thomas. Appreciate you being here!

[@alexamurray1800]

Thanks for the event! I think it would be better to focus on lines that Reedsy really likes, and the editor sees as only needing a little pruning.

[@ar4203]

Huh? It's really educational to see the less great & pruned ones, it teaches alot.

[@shaekitchentales261]

This was very educational. Wish we all can get a review through our emails.

[@the_weal_mawa]

Thank you for the stream! It was really informal and we look forward to this again!

[@manymusings]

I love these! So fun and informative! Thank you.

[@afaandalvi5056]

How to submit?

[@skywa7183]

Downturned eyes is an eye type

[@nikkinewbie6014]

Hmmm. I just thought it was a way to describe when a person doesn’t want to look someone else in the eyes for a specific reason. In this case it foreshadowed to me that the one with “ downturned eyes” was about to tell the other person something they knew they wouldn’t want to hear. In other words, the speaker is avoiding eye contact with the other person. I liked the use of this visual since this is a common real world thing most of us have experienced - from both sides of the eye lashes. I envisioned it and related to it instantly. If it’s a kind of eye type too, then bonus points for multiple layers of meaning! 😂😂😂

[@suzanneballantyne8494]

Watching the replay… sorry for your technical woes. You sailed thru them. 👌🏻 I’m learning a lot. I’ll keep submitting my first lines… hopefully a better variation that catches your eye. ✌🏻🙏🏻

[@o_o-lj1ym]

The Navajo line had too many directions. Out of ... got inside ... beside

[@bkjackson8092]

Thank you so much for First line frenzy. Always enjoy watching them and learn a lot. And since I don't usually catch them live, it gives me a chance to make my own assessment of the first line then see how my evaluation stacks up to your responses. Thank you!

[@suzanneballantyne8494]

P.S. clearly rebecca’s tech that was crackling. Again, great job with all the glitches. C’est la vie!

[@jimmccleery5305]

Good stuff maybe next time they will read mine too. Cheers guys awesome stuff.

[@andreabknight]

Yep- it would be pavement in the UK :-)

[@victoryjo2283]

What are your thoughts on one-word first lines?

[@firstlinefrenzy931]

A sentence needs a subject and verb, so I think a one-word line is...less than ideal??

[@victoryjo2283]

@@firstlinefrenzy931 Thank you for your response. So would this whole thing be considered a first line? Silence. Hmm. This is odd. There was always some kind of background noise.

[@firstlinefrenzy931]

@@victoryjo2283 For the purposes of FLF, first line = first sentence. "Silence." is the first line here.

[@AllLinesAreBeautiful]

Love the smart & honest observations!

[@profitableinvestments4769]

Thank you so much. So much to learn

[@o_o-lj1ym]

These are so helpful

[@commentoria]

Very helpful!

[@doreenstevens8852]

Up to date

[@imia9334]

A note on the French dialog in the second line. Shouldn't it be 'Qu'est-ce qu'elle est belle!' ?

[@brumleymorgan5945]

"Qu'elle est belle!" would be correct but not what any French woman would say, particularly not in that situation.

[@kellyb.johnson5300]

Smoother operator at the helm. Lol.

[@firstlinefrenzy931]

We were plagued with tech malfunctions on both sides of the pond, but I couldn't ask for a better host than Martin!

[@beccabee1958]

😭😭😭 I missed it.

[@clairecayson7053]

I think my first line got chopped i am a techno dummy my line. Pain came hard aunt mae came running pulling up her sleeves her long dirty nails reached twisting and pulling past the brine to let life go . J ust need a helping hand is this a possibility I am a dumb dumb sometimes rebecca may blessings reign on all of your exciting sharing kindness and work

[@nandoflorestan]

You guys should upload an edited version of this. And definitely bring her back without the technical issues.

[@johnhansen1501]

Thanks, these are fun and instructive. One confused me: general rule: because of show don’t tell, don’t write someone has a feeling, but describe their physical reactions. But now also: don’t mention body parts and facial features because it’s objectifying 😮

[@littletodger7008]

An 'editor' who did not know the meaning of a word (doona) and didn't look it up! Seriously!

[@ImaginaryMdA]

Martin did know what it meant. No need to consult a dictionary, if you have a person with the knowledge on hand.

[@firstlinefrenzy931]

It's true, "doona" is part of a dialect I'm not familiar with. Not sure why this is surprising, given the global nature of FLF. I don't see the lines in advance, so looking it up wasn't an option in the moment. Seriously!