First Responders Reveal The Truth About Their Job | Circle of Secrets

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Director: Cole Bacani
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00:45 I feel like I can't be a good father with this job
05:09 I used to purposely get into fights at work just to deal with the stress and anxiety from my job
09:28 I want to save every patient, and have such a hard time letting go
14:51 I am desensitized to losses because of my job
18:17 Sometimes, I fear this job could get the best of me
21:22 My whole career, I never talked about the trauma I experienced because I didn't want my coworkers to see me as weak
25:34 The best part of my job is when people simply say "thank you"

[@stokes352]

Telling a secret and then turning around to see you aren't ALONE? Straight sobbing immediately 😭 what a great idea

[@Boy3ga]

For real. You could see the relief on their faces when they heard the chairs move and they knew others were there with them.

[@lamb414]

fr !!!

[@dorothytovio6975]

Yes, what a beautiful idea ❤

[@chocolate82467]

Awesome idea. I have so much more respect for all first responders. My daughter was an EMT and some of the stories she would tell me about some of the calls she went on were heartbreaking and eye opening. She’s a nurse now and I make it my business to be available WHENEVER she needs me, be it to vent, scream, cry, whatever - just to let her get everything out and support her. I wish I could hug all first responders and let them know that we understand and are there for them. 🫂🫂🫂🫂❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@deserollins]

🥰🥰

[@user-qf4sl6kf7s]

Massive respect to all first responders. Highly underappreciated and severely underpaid. Thank you for all you do.

[@taehyunslashes]

You haven’t watched the video yet tho

[@thebarringtonTV]

@@taehyunslashes That's called gratitude.

[@taehyunslashes]

@@thebarringtonTV english isn’t my first language and I didn’t know what first responders meant. I thought they just meant that they invited the first people who volunteered to participate in the video. I thought it was just random people with random jobs.

[@taehyunslashes]

@anne55_ english isn’t my first language and I didn’t know what first responders meant. I thought they just meant that they invited the first people who volunteered to participate in the video. I thought it was just random people with random jobs.

[@b4lde4gl39]

​@anne55_ you think it would be common sense

[@brandon8762]

Getting paid $20 an hour to risk your life, work weekends and holidays, and miss time with family is so disrespectful. Something needs to change

[@ambertresso7265]

Not only that, getting $20/hr (EMT in Michigan pay $15-$20/hr) to literally SAVE LIVES… For me as a nurse in Michigan the U.S government is saying when I give health care, advocate for human beings LIVES in the the hospital, help heal and possibly bring you back to life, all its worth is measly $25/hr… (not mentioning what nurses actually have to do and go through) This world is so backwards and disgusting... 🫠

[@nataleedenlinger635]

I got paid 16.75

[@mrobsolete530x4]

I make $13.98 an hour

[@emilyanderson5354]

I got paid $17 after 8 years experience. I ended up quitting and got my radiologic technology degree

[@ambertresso7265]

@@emilyanderson5354 I’m a nurse and only getting paid $26/hr, I know for a fact I’m not getting paid enough.(think about it, if a person end up coding we will be the first person to respond and the world is saying that’s worth $17 to $28/hr) I just looked up radiology tech salary and y’all getting PAID. Do you have any advice on schooling?

[@lucwijngaard8413]

These are the type of video's with deeper meaning that channels like Jubilee should put out

[@JosdaharaVillalpando]

I agree 100% not like some of the mindless content channels like this put out

[@gia.energia]

top 3 jubilee episodes ever this was tremendously powerful

[@phantompherek]

It used to be this way, but then they grew larger and fell off

[@mtyson3248]

COPS admitting to beating folk to relieve stress at work... I appreciate that level of accountability, hurt people hurt people.

[@Jackie-ek6gy]

They admitted to beating the ones who tried to fight them first. From my experience, getting your lick back doesn't usually drive people to therapy. These men seem haunted by other situations.

[@Luxordolls]

Yeah it’s also the reason why police brutality exists.

[@mtyson3248]

@@Jackie-ek6gy absolutely

[@mtyson3248]

@@Luxordolls thats implied

[@lluslenyvelazquez6645]

He wasn’t a cop. Correctional officer

[@ondrarosie]

The single mom that’s a firefighter?? You go girllll👏🏽🔥

[@ondrarosie]

@GkfndjdFnfjfnj Created an account yesterday to be ignorant. That’s tragic

[@ondrarosie]

@GkfndjdFnfjfnj an assumption. an ignorant assumption. yeahh

[@TheBrandonGrose]

@GkfndjdFnfjfnjjust because MOST men are stronger than MOST women does not mean ALL men are stronger than ALL women… being intentionally obtuse just to troll. Do better

[@illusio_]

@GkfndjdFnfjfnjyou wanna go ahead and do the job then ?

[@TheBrandonGrose]

@GkfndjdFnfjfnjalso, there are training programs that you have to meet actual requirements to become a firefighter, so if they pass that, they can be a firefighter. Secondly, there is an actual maneuver called the fireman’s carry, used specifically because there were MEN who couldn’t do it by themselves. Get therapy

[@Jadiexox]

My aunt has been a paramedic for over 25 years . She recently got stabbed during a work call! She has a lot of ptsd ! It’s such a scary job putting your life on the line .

[@joshuazatarain7967]

I work in a pretty gnarly city, things like this have happened in our system. I wish your aunt a speedy recovery, and I hope her, you, and your whole family well

[@ashleym.2981]

That is very scary!! I’m glad she made it through that situation! Hopefully she is getting help for the PTSD 🙏🏾

[@nowintroducinghertome]

She a G tho.. she's still alive. ✋

[@tisseflekk]

Wishing her a speedy recovery! Thank you to your aunt for her work and sacrifices

[@ellemmenn2930]

I hope you’re aunt is recovering, as a retired paramedic i can say the ptsd will be there for a long time, i hope she can get the help she needs

[@miresis]

Jubilee please do this for caregivers. They have a very stressful life and they are often not allowed to express their true feelings without judgement. It is so easy for people to judge others for expressing their anger, sadness, etc. about these types of situations without having a clue how it affects the individual's life.

[@xtc6206]

A video solely based on caregivers? Yeah, next idea pls

[@makenzieandreas6056]

@@xtc6206 you’ve clearly never been a caregiver. You could never understand the mental toll it takes on a person. So keep your judgements to yourself. I resonate completely with what she said. Your words are entirely disrespectful, insinuating the video wouldn’t be interesting. Maybe not to you personally, but it’s a topic that deserves more attention & discussion. I think you’d be surprised by what you could learn from those who take care of individuals on a daily basis. Maybe even gain some compassion!

[@babixsinner]

@@makenzieandreas6056seriously , one of the hardest jobs

[@blabla-eb8wm]

Absolutely

[@olivia251]

I agree. I know someone who is a caregiver for his wife with Huntington's disease. It takes such a large mental toll, and I think people with these experiences should be able to share their story

[@Alexusaka]

Jubilee should do one of these with people a part of the education systems teachers, principals, aides, bus drivers. They also get put into so many off putting situations and are mentally trying to push through.

[@music0cool]

Also mental health care workers!! I work in the field and you wouldnt believe some of the stories

[@rachelwayne4885]

Yes! Teacher of 24 years here.. I would take part in this.

[@angelicavigil2254]

@@music0coolI work in an inpatient psych unit and yes 🥺 it’s so hard

[@user-mp6mt8zg1t]

Yes!!!!

[@janaelove]

I would love to see this with teachers/childcare workers

[@andresperez2791]

My mom went into cardiac arrest in her sleep a little over a year ago. Randomly in the middle of the night, just like that. Long story short, she shouldn’t be here but she is. Statistically she should be in a vegetative state, but she’s not. Miracle? Maybe. Regardless, I wish I could say thank you to the first responders. They shocked her heart 3 times, on the 3rd time, she had a pulse. Bless their souls, I have my ma still. She’s 52.

[@bakedtofu420]

It's intense to think about how those first responders sacrifice precious time with their family, but it directly leads to you getting more precious time with your loved one... An aspect of humankind that makes me tear up 🥲

[@salma_Nella22]

@@bakedtofu420well said

[@SquidwardTentacles225]

Did you ask her where she went when she came back?

[@p4ry4h]

[@nowintroducinghertome]

Dam mine died at 52.. ten years ago. Paramedics worked an hour trying to revive her. 😢

[@sumaiya-ey5zc]

As a med student who was very lucky to spend time with paramedics I can wholeheartedly say that they are our whole life line.Seriously so much respect for all front line responders

[@bettysmith4527]

Thank you ❤

[@mmg8830]

Same! So much respect and love

[@NJatTheDisco]

And EMTs

[@sumaiya-ey5zc]

@@NJatTheDisco “seriously so much respect for all front line responders”

[@thelostcosmonaut5555]

​@NJatTheDisco a paramedic is an EMT...an EMT-P.

[@cherry1816]

I love these kinds of episodes. Really shows the humanity in everyone

[@jennifertwede7142]

Agreed! This was vulnerable and tender. Watching those two cops hugging each other giving comfort; so special❤️

[@aminanoureldin3383]

the nurse's speech got me in tears

[@leonaw1022]

Super Proud of Kenny for speaking up and admitting he’s got help. I know the generation he was in it was a lot tougher to speak about these things

[@QuietSquirrelClips]

1:40. This was me, I had everything as a kid. Way more than my dad ever thought of having. He even bought me a car at 16. A dodge charger, because he knew once I had a family I would invest everything into them just like he did me. But, I misinterpreted what that meant. I grew up wishing I had more time with him. And wishing we would just say we love each other more. Or have that close relationship that I saw other people have. I grew to have resentment towards it. Specially as I grew up as an adult and had adversity. I never mended this with him. I never told him thank you and that I understand he did what he did for me because he loved me. He passed away last year. And I carry this guilt with me everyday of my life. I am so sorry dad. I love you.

[@arcanabunny]

He loves you too, he had the job he had to save others and provide for you and loved you so much.

[@610_Chxp]

Pops told me, “I can give you money but I can’t give you time” “if I give you time, I can’t give you money” he sacrificed that time because he knew you needed that money. If you still can call him, see him, or whatever you can do to reach out to him. Let him know he did his job as a father

[@QuietSquirrelClips]

@@610_Chxp that’s the part I struggle with the most. He passed away in September of last year. I didn’t start to reflect until he was gone…

[@oli_wia8069]

I think you even didn't have to thank him, he knew that you are or will be grateful for his hard work. Stop feeling guilty - it will just drain you. The only thing you can do now is just being proud of your dad. You learned some kind of a lesson. I wish you the best 💗

[@QuietSquirrelClips]

@@oli_wia8069 thank you ❤️

[@SarahJohnson-vr9vh]

Former EMT here. So much more needs to be done on demystifying and helping first responders get the mental health help they need and deserve. Many won't seek help for fear of losing their jobs and they also dont fully understand confidentiality limits. Their is still so much stigma to tackle within the workforce. Constantly being the person others rely on leads you to believe you can't ask for help because you're supposed to be the help. If you know a first responder, just know they will always underplay the intensity of their job. They have to in order to make it through the day/week. It's nice to offer that if they ever need to talk after a shift that they can always call you and you will just listen. Stay safe out there, and remember, even those helping others sometimes need help too ❤

[@ashleexc]

I think it would be very interesting if there’s was a video like this on morticians, funeral directors, embalmers, etc… As someone in that industry this video hit home on a lot of topics these folks talked about, even though I deal with the other side of life (death). Seeing others relate on something you feel so alone in, is a very healing thing and I think lots of people including myself could benefit from a video on it.

[@retrominz]

I totally agree with you! I'm in the funeral industry as well and I feel like talking about death and how we are impacted about it can be insightful and healing. Last responders are important too.

[@ashiverson]

and customer service workers that do years of calling people who curse them out and disrespect them 8 hrs a day 5 days a week They need an episode. they get the worst parts of America all day.

[@jayfalcon-rw3qc]

​@ashiverson I recently had an experience with online customer service, and they kept thanking me for being patient. At the end they said they wished more of their customers were like me. And I was just treating them like a normal person. I was glad I made their day a little easier. But it also made me feel legit bad for them, and it made me wonder what kind of abuse they're exposed to all the time

[@JG-sy8in]

I completely agree with you. I'm in funeral service too and an episode on this topic would be fascinating.

[@coviemorticianhappyvan]

Yep. It's a real life changer

[@ericastiff]

I would love to see a "Last Responders" video { Morticians & Funeral Director's}. I work in this field, and don't see many videos describing what impacts them long-term. I think it would be very insightful. I really enjoyed this one, as it hit me pretty close in the death aspect.

[@DianaDiana-dr6qv]

That would be super interesting! Thank you for your service! ❤

[@HardhatBambi]

I feel they should have included dispatchers in this. They hear a whole other side, and play a crucial role

[@haleycarson4129]

That’s exactly what I was thinking. I thought that was the people in the video

[@docmain999]

i wonder if they get the same vibe as drone operators tho, i’ve heard a lot of people who saw combat but were not actually on the ground feel like they don’t deserve the help because their trauma “isn’t as bad” since they didn’t see it first hand

[@holleestewart3330]

@@docmain999at times yes that is very true we don’t see it with our eyes, but we’re the ones who hear all the things said, radio traffic from officers, yelling they need backup, feeling you’re not quick enough etc. there is a ton, but you did pretty much nail it. It’s also like the retired NYPD officer said, you don’t want to seem like you can’t work, or unable to cope etc… hopefully this makes sense im quite tired atm😅

[@MsLove-co3um]

Dispatcher here, and you would be surprised what kinds of emotional abuse we experience daily all while just aiming to dispatch the most appropriate help on calls. Most people believe dispatching is just clicking buttons and delaying responses. They have no idea.

[@neekyboo77]

The NYPD cop crying touched me so much. My heart goes out to all first responders.

[@carlosini2920]

the "thank you" portion at the end hit me so hard becuase thank you is sooo rare and it throws you off when someone says thank you, it kind of catches you off balance. Heavy stuff

[@fabtv2890]

That Sheriff who was seeking out fights….. I think a lot of cops have this same mentality but they’re ok with it.

[@nateciakimika5068]

Pisses me off. It’s hard to feel empathy for people like that.

[@ilikechicken5524]

The correctional officer? He was talking about the times when inmates are caught with weapons and they raid the cell, or the times where inmates are fighting and they've gotta deal with it. He just wanted that adrenaline high of being in the fight.

[@fabtv2890]

@@ilikechicken5524 I definitely said sheriff but hey

[@ilikechicken5524]

@@fabtv2890 yeah i know, but I don't remember a sheriff. Maybe I missed it. I only saw the nypd officer and corrections officer Edit: we're talking about the same guy. I just didn't read his job title, but he was working in corrections.

[@nataliesnowden7148]

Love Kenny’s vulnerability, and everyone is giving such unique perspectives

[@amyjordan7882]

My brother has been a paramedic for almost 40 years. He has PTSD so bad that his wife can't sleep in the same bed with him. He has terror nightmares about babies he has literally had to scrape off the major highway near his home. Even so, he came out of retirement to go back to work. I don't know how he does it. Idk how any of them can survive mentally. And let's not forget how extremely underpaid they are. I commend my brother and all who put their uniform on each day to save other people's lives while trying to keep their own sanity. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ I love you brother ❤❤❤ Edit: The girl who said she was desensitized to death is something my brother said as well. And that's heartbreaking 💔😢

[@neekyboo77]

My brother as well. He's a police officer.

[@annagardner8172]

As an EMT myself, this was such a needed video. Desensitization and vicarious trauma are so common, and yet rarely discussed. Thank you to all these individuals for being willing to start the conversation around mental health!

[@mindhackz]

Thank you for all that you do

[@pamstuckey8349]

As a nurse I really resonate with the very last message. I loved being a nurse and working with people but it was a lot of emotional labor. I so rarely received a thank you (although I know the people I worked with appreciated what I did.) I can't even put into words how much that occasional thank you meant. Decades later I still have the one letter I received from a patient expressing his gratitude

[@seeguul]

18:52 you can really tell when they start zoning out and truly think of what they've experienced

[@lboyk1d]

I would love to see one with social workers. Our jobs go unnoticed so much and people do not know how many job roles social workers are a part of. We all do not just work in CPS. We work so hard and have many difficult but rewarding days in the field.

[@ravenstigall9010]

I couldn't agree more. I'm a social worker and we hide what's going on in our lives in order to help others.

[@AndersonLissa284]

Same. Social Worker here. I work in a hospital and it’s a lot ❤

[@ryanbradyjohnblack19]

As someone that thought about becoming a social worker when I was in the 7th grade. I would like to hear from social workers.

[@KD-ll3bh]

As a Firefighter/Paramedic, this video resonated with me. I personally try to be at my best, knowing that the people we are responding to are having their worst day or moment in their lives. I don’t speak for everyone, but I try my best to be in the best shape possible physically, and mentally. I do this because if I was ever in a dire situation, I hope the person who comes to save me would have that same mentality. Shoutout to all the cops, firefighters, nurses, EMTs, and Paramedics that understand that 24 to 72 hour grind with no breaks.

[@hallasnackbar1865]

28 years as a firefighter has taught me that the key to mental and emotional resilience is as simple as choosing to only spend your emotional and physical energy and focus on things you can actually effect change on. It also helps to be mildly sociopathic.

[@ElPapiRio]

To put it in perspective. Everytime something BAD happens.. these are the people you call. Now inagine how many times u call them. Now imagine how many times they’re called to witness certain events on a DAILY basis. We experience somethings a couple of times in our life time. They experience it DAILY. They live it daily. You were traumatized by 1 event. Imagine it DAILY or weekly basis. You have to detach yourself which could lead to desensitization. Yall plz get into psychology so you can learn about self and the people around u 🙏🏼. Its what saved and changed me from my previous job

[@tristewalton]

I absolutely loved this. Shedding light on our back bone of society and the angels that walk our earth with us. First responders sacrifice so much of themselves for everyone and I could never thank them enough and now I just want to do something kind for them. It’s just a beautiful thing to have such strong people to rely on in your worst moments where you need help! I wish I was that brave and strong to be a first responder.

[@michaelluong6484]

I've only watched 8 minutes, but thank you to Jubilee and all the participants. As a former first responder, I really appreciate this topic.

[@willard4886]

I could relate to Leilani. I’m a paramedic and single mom (my daughters father isn’t in the picture whatsoever). It’s so hard. I go to work to care for others while she’s at home with her grandparents reading her a bedtime story to sleep. I feel like I’m letting her down. But whenever I’m home with her and I see her face light up I know that we’re doing okay. Thank you to those involved in this video.

[@DianaDiana-dr6qv]

Thank you for all that you do ❤

[@dakotac180]

Yes more of this Jubilee. We need more honest conversations. There shouldn't be a problem with the person helping everyone also needing HELP. It's important to let it out because people are losing it.

[@natalyahatchman2952]

When the older law enforcement officer talked about holding back your own emotions, and seeing things people should never have to see. I bawled. I'm an RN and although my experience is probably very different to theirs, in healthcare, particularly in my area, we have to put our emotions aside completely, and put on a mask so we can nurse other peoples emotions. Some of these emotions are volatile, sometimes in devastation, the most profound depths of grief, we have to hold that space for people. It is an incredible privilege to experience humanity in this way, but you do also see the worst of it too. It is easy to lose yourself in it. It can completely inhibit your own ability to experience and regulate your true emotions and compassion fatigue is a real and very troubling experience.

[@wolftears13]

I have worked in ICU for over ten years and my dad passed recently after being terminally ill since 2017 and I had my mother yell at me that I didn’t love my father because I was so calm and emotionless when he died. That was a massive stab to the heart 😭😭 but I relate to this video 100% and we talk regularly in ICU about how desensitised to death we are and our dark senses of humour we have adopted as a way to cope, to the point that I have forgotten that what I see and experience on a regular basis in my job is actually traumatic.

[@cryonsjr]

I was a Corrections Officer for 20 years, this resonates with me. The biggest issue I have after retirement last year is all of the stuff I pushed down is coming to the surface. I thought just leaving the job would fix me, there's a lot of work to be done.

[@kristynkazumi]

Is there any advice you’d give to family of COs to better support them?

[@shateriashannon4544]

When the nurse said the patients thank you before taking their last breath as well as the family 😭😮‍💨 I would be tore up

[@khonkhosilelihle7414]

True it's sad ey.

[@thatyaoilover]

a single simple “thank you” can truly turn around a absolutely horrible shift. it’s rare to here it because yes it is our job and it’s what is expected, but it makes me feel so human in the moment.

[@maleyahrae7495]

This segment is heavy but touching… I love how vulnerable everyone was

[@alyson1029]

As an EMT with a mother as an EMT, a father as a sergeant at the police office, and now a boyfriend as an EMT/FF, this video is really touching. Especially the first gentlemen, my mom, and dad weren't really there growing up because they had to work so much. My dad had different hours for his shift every time he worked and my mom would leave randomly to take calls from my house to help someone else. Videos like these also spread the light of what we go through every day, to try to cut off the emotions because, to be honest you can't let the bad calls get to you as much as it hurts, you just have to keep pushing. But at the end of the day, it really does help me as a person to know that at the end of the call, I could have made someone's day a little better, and to help them through their sickness or whatever they might be going through.

[@wuv3y782]

8:30 🥹🥹🥹 he deserves a big hug

[@alannarose5873]

I’ve been in the medical field since I was 18. Now I’m 21 and a nurse. There’s so much that happens in this field that people can’t understand (especially being young in the field) so you just have to push through it. Major respect to these people for sharing their stories

[@gabbymc23]

2 mins in and already feeling grateful for the job that i have now

[@samu-chan]

mcdonald’s?

[@gabbymc23]

@@samu-chan close, starbucks lol

[@SmileG333]

Same I'm a software dev, I feel so coddled

[@Jayjay_07]

Kev'ann's speech was super impressive. Emotional and powerful. They all deserve so much resepct for doing their jobs AND for opening up about it. And to all those first responders with kids: they will understand. Maybe only later in life but they will and they will be immensly proud of their parent.

[@djoelle1807]

hearing about the pediatric child constantly in pain made me cry.

[@mschellylove3588]

The last guy did not share his secret about his job instead the best part about his job. I could tell he wasn’t ready to be vulnerable. I could tell he’s a jokester that’s probably how he deals with stress.

[@cassidysoller]

my husband is a police officer & he's not able to go to therapy or anything. it'll put his job in jeopardy. it's insane. his co worker committed su*cide with his own duty weapon. It's awful. oh & MOST cops don't make any $ btw. i already told him to quit. it's not worth it.

[@dramonmaster222]

Major respect to all First Responders.

[@honeybee4361]

I’m retired NyPd I did 20 years and have been retired for 22years. I had a lot of stress as a female , the public tested you and your coworkers also. I became a Sgt. my fifth year in. I did 17 years of patrol, one and half as investigator with CCRB and my last 18 months as training sergeant. I knew I needed help but I didn’t want anything recorded are my guns taken away, nor embarrassed my family. I retired 7months after 911. The day after I retired I saw a Psychiatrist the very next day. I still have nights where I can’t sleep and my mind replays events so vividly.

[@haleycarson4129]

Thank you for your service

[@jaslyn5501]

Praying for peace that surpasses all. Thank you for your service and dedication 🤍

[@maki1404]

My heart aches for their stories, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the sacrifices you’ve made and the hurt you’ve had to deal with. Irreplaceable guardians on earth, I love you. Truly.

[@isab3639]

As someone who wants to be a first responder, this was really important and informative to see. I knew how these things might be a possibility but hearing real people talk and be vulnerable just made everything more real and intense. Thank you to all of them and all other inspirational individuals and much love and appreciation from a future first responder. ❤

[@jbaby007]

I'm not crying! You're crying! I do want to say thank you to all first responders though. I can't imagine what y'all go through on a day to day basis and still show up for work. We really appreciate you all. 💜

[@itzsusanx3]

Being a first responder literally gives me so much life. I recently worked an event and this family treated me and took are of me like i was their own and ive never felt so loved and valued by a family trying to take care of an EMT. IT is a thankless profession, but this profession is everything to me. I'm so in love with the work and care that i provide and i wish i could do more. Shoutout to all EMS, healthcare workers and those who were called to serve in this line of duty. It is so empowering to see people come together and talk amongst each other about what we're going through and have the support needed. thank you xoxo

[@brookeanne8591]

my first code was my very first call. not even on my own yet. i was supposed to do nothing but observe that day… the call came in male in his 20’s shot in the face. he still had a pulse when we got cleared to be on the scene. he coded as soon as we put the truck in drive. the whole drive i was bagging and saying “i’m sorry” “it’s okay” he was already gone. at the hospital the dr heard it was my first day and asked me to go touch the pt to feel that the bullet smashed his spinal cord at the base of his head and there was nothing we could’ve done. i still let the pt now i was going to touch him. he reminded me a lot of my brother.

[@neekyboo77]

Omgosh what a way to start your career! 😢

[@nataliaspamer9745]

Doctors can be such jerks! I'm sorry

[@carolinegemini1463]

This is by far one of the best videos you guys have made, this made me tear up each time someone came to talk.

[@DavidRussellM]

This segment is always so heavy, great work Jubilee, and thank you for your service to the responders! 👏

[@michaelcarter3699]

This is one of the best pieces of content on this platform

[@rachx3126]

Massive respect to all first responders. You guys are unsung heroes

[@khonkhosilelihle7414]

True.

[@meliamckenzie3416]

As a kid of a first responder that first question did strike me in the heart. My dad was there, because we made it work. When we were little my dad would call us to say goodnight most nights, we would wake up early in the morning to snuggle and watch cartoons with him, and holidays/birthdays might not be celebrated the day of but they were always celebrated sometime that week. He couldnt be there for every single event, but he always made time to be there.

[@amandalupacchino6728]

After hearing the last secret, I just want to say “thank you” to every single one of them. They are the strongest people I know.

[@harpershadron]

I’m an EMT and actively in the fire academy, and this is exactly what I needed to watch. A little reminder that the thoughts I have going in are valid and will happen, but also it’ll be so worth it in the end. Thankful for all my fellow first responders for all their sacrifices!

[@Mysterio1412]

This is one of the best groups Jubilee has had in a while. Not jjst random people but professionals ranging from rookie to retiree in a field thats underaddressed in what we see.

[@riahxlee]

First responders are some of the most selfless people i’ve ever witnessed. They really deserve the highest respect.

[@ldyridr805]

Thank you, Jubilee for providing such meaningful and thought-provoking content. I got a little teary eyed on this one. And, THANK YOU! to each of you who participated and shared with us what is in your minds, hearts, souls, what's underneath the uniform... Really special episode.

[@chanelr6975]

As a soon to be Emergency Surgical Tech, thank you to everyone in this video for your services. First responders, massive respect & extremely thankful for everything you do. As hard as it is, I am excited to make a difference in so many lives ❤️ i grew up knowing this is the field I want to be in for the rest of my life.

[@egginmynog]

i’m a huge jubilee fan and i’ve silently watched almost every video. this video is my favorite by far. i love that this video format allows people to share a personal struggle or feeling and realize that they aren’t alone. there have definitely been times where i just wished i could let go of a feeling but didn’t have anyone around who would’ve listened or better yet understood. and this one is just so special because it’s a room full of selfless people who go through some of the darkest things a person can go through and yet they continue to work for others and support each other in the process. thank you for making this video jubilee, and thank you to all first responders.

[@lauracru]

I have never been so moved by the beauty of humanity by video before. Thank you for sharing your stories 🌎

[@crystallaffan8825]

Thank you to the first responders in this video and to all first responders out there. As a daughter of a NYPD officer, Kenny’s story hit me hard. My dad had a very similar experience where he wasn’t able to show emotion when he was in the force and now that he’s retired, he’s allowed himself to feel. He clearly has seen and experienced a lot, and it breaks my heart knowing he kept so much of that inside for so many years. I hope all first responders attend therapy to help them process their incredibly difficult job. You are all very special people who are doing the hardest work there is. Please be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to seek help when needed. We love you!

[@mesututjikembeuserua133]

Too real! As a Registered Nurse in a few months time. We got to give ourselves so much grace cous it’s really not Easy.

[@yosedylilly]

What the woman said about thinking back about our parent being absent is so true. I did feel that hurt growing up but as an adult I feel externally grateful ❤

[@trevordickson8617]

I worked with many people who just cut off emotionally to cope with some of the horrors we dealt with in hospitals & out on the roads etc. Sooner or later it catches up with you though. Unfortunately when you drop your bundle, the culture in these jobs is not supportive of you. I think it is slowly changing but the reality is people look to you to take charge & help them. You have to be the strong one & able to cope under great stress. I wish I could have been more loving to people but doing that can be dangerous. We need some sort of emotional shield or we would be of no use. I was just here for a casual look at this video but it has really hit me. I understood completely what these people were saying. The smell of blood & death, the sound of weeping for wasted & sad lives.

[@tachaherbert8765]

worked in the ER for 10 years. i understand their concerns all too well. thank you all for your time and service and stay strong.

[@Ordinarily_unique]

daughter of a newly retired fire chief here! While being the child of a first responder comes with its challenges, at the end of the day I know my father made all these sacrifices for me. One thing I will say to any potential first responders reading this; please seek therapy or mental health help of any sort even if you don't believe you need it. I saw a pattern in my father and his colleges of being present but not really being emotionally present during their off time. You see and go through so much, you deserve to take care of your well being. Thank you for your selflessness.

[@Truth_Tella]

As a truck driver starting a family i can relate to the not being there but being able to provide sentiments. Im gonna have to make a decision soon. I feel guilty every time i have to leave.

[@espressoshot21]

I cried so hard while watching this. Thank you to all the first responders for providing the community with your sacrifices

[@robinthornton8282]

As a retired nurse, you end up having a morbid sense of humor in order to deal. I've seen a lot of deaths and I didn't cry when my uncle, my dad and stepfather passed away. I tried to make it easier for everyone else. I still haven't cried. It feels like I'm a shell sometimes. But I know I still have feelings cause I cry at commercials still. Lol.

[@karenalves1156]

Circle of Secrets is the best idea ever, I just love all the videos

[@anneshelley2222]

I worked 4 years in a level 1 trauma and burn ICU. The desensitization to losses is very real. One day, I had a breakdown because it hit me like a truck that the patients I took care of every day were likely going through the most traumatic experience of their life. And I was just clocking in and out of work and going home to my family. It’s like I had compartmentalized that reality in my brain. Loved this video and have such respect to all first responders

[@brookewilson5848]

Thank you to all the first responders 🥺you guys are so strong and im proud of what all you guys have to go through.

[@_cyy023]

THANK YOU EMT, NURSES and ANYONE else who is part of the team

[@stargazing1515]

nurses aren’t first responders 😭 sorry if it sounds rude

[@annabellewhitney1388]

⁠@@stargazing1515ever heard of a flight nurse, mobile intensive care nurse, transport nurse? All first responders

[@stargazing1515]

@@annabellewhitney1388 are they there FIRST?

[@stargazing1515]

@@annabellewhitney1388are they there first tho..? No

[@JessicaLopez-wc4oh]

Would love to hear a therapist one! (social workers, counselors, psychologists, the gambit)

[@bettysmith4527]

❤ I have been a paramedic for 20 years, and in EMS for a total of 26 years, and I really appreciated this video! It does help to hear others in the same field speak in such a way, and it also opens the public's eye to what we experience as well. I wish there were more forums for this behind closed doors, and not just after a critical incident.

[@heathershields5476]

I feel that, Kev'ann. Utterly sobbing. I want to save everyone, ever animal I meet, and I can't. I think you're hyper empathetic and altruistic to break down like that in front of the family WHILE still being there for your patient AND them. And as someone who has lost numerous family members, if I met a care provider who cried over my loved one, I wouldn't feel so alone. My grief would feel valid and real and I think it would honestly help heal ME. Thank you for doing what you do.

[@kylaalbisser264]

This was a hard watch but very much needed in the world. My dad was a fire fighter who passed from ptsd. The statistics are scary and no one is really talking about it. Thank you

[@DianaDiana-dr6qv]

I’m so sorry for your loss ❤

[@britneycruz8000]

I’ve been in the medical field since I was 17 and seen a lot I couldn’t imagine everyone else that has been there for 10+ years thank you all for your selfless service ❤️

[@bamjohnsonbam14]

The work and care they provide is LITERALLY priceless. They deserve mandatory psych evals, therapists/those in similar professions on a 24/7 hotline for them to speak to, MANDATORY CAPS ON SHIFT TIMES (I think it’s honestly crazy nurses and paramedics will literally work a week straight, how does that not violate labor laws??) and tbh it would be an adjustment, but those things are not THAT hard to do. I think a lot of people forget that when you are signing a contract to work for a company, you are signing to work for this company yes but they are also in that contract promising to provide you a safe, healthy work environment. I feel like if they looked at their contracts , a lot of these organizations would be in breach, but again they know these people care so much about taking care of others that they exploit them and basically count on the fact that they will always overwork themselves if they know it will end up helping somebody else. they deserve so much better than what they get.

[@watersj5]

Mental health is so important. I wish it was something we took more seriously. Having these services for free on a regular basis for first responders would be a game changer.

[@browsbybillie-jean7866]

Wow that nurse got my heart and my tears, I will Never forget the nurse who cried with me and my brothers when we shut down my mums life support, I wish I could thank him every day x

[@ElPapiRio]

100% felt this. Especially being around death and getting desensitized 💯 so real. Theres no reaction. It led me to psychology once i got out of that job since i wanted to find my humanity and learn “self” and others around me

[@SarahJohnson-vr9vh]

Hey! I went down a similar path cool to meet someone else who did.

[@kbp1233]

This was seriously one of the most moving videos I’ve watched in a long time. For the first responders to submit a secret, acknowledge it was theirs, and to turn around and see they are never alone is deeply transformative. Even if you’re not a first responder, the concept is heartwarming to remind us all we are never alone in our struggles. Thank you for this video ❤

[@MissBloodShotBlue]

Thank you all for your service and for being so vulnerable and sharing your experiences with us.

[@crissytinaa]

to everyone participating in this video, thank you for your service in protecting the people around us. and props to everyone for allowing themselves to be in a vulnerable mindset and to share their feelings- especially the men there. they should all be very proud of themselves:)

[@mikaonthemoon]

I was lucky enough after my first code to have a couple coworkers check in on me and offer to chat. Did I take them up on it? No, of course not lol. I really wish we could lose that stigma that it makes us weaker to talk about it. My dad was a first responder growing up too and rarely did I ever see the feelings he brought home with him. It’s bittersweet to understand it now.

[@martinaforbs1448]

At 14:40 when the lady mentions her transition in perspective w/ people passing on, she said, "...they are dying with dignity" and tbh that really struck me, what a powerful way to view the circumstances! ♡

[@minamohkami4364]

thank you for all you do!

[@brifoust4736]

As a paramedic I resonate with this video I so many levels. I won’t touch on my experiences but will say this is accurate. Every person is different but thank you for this video. This gives others a view into what our world is like.

[@binzbb5688]

i went to emt school i was one of the top in my class but ultimately i had to choose myself and my own mental health.. first responders are the real life angels they sacrifice themselves for others in every way i will always hold them at such a high regard

[@BluntKing0420]

moral of the story: THANK PEOPLE WHO HELP YOU

[@BluntKing0420]

thank you all in the video, thank you to anyone and everyone helping others.