FIRST TIME HEARING Ren - Su!cIde (Official Music Video) | REACTION

[@sammyd8860]

Literally, Ren was five minutes too late to save Joe. It was around 3.00 a.m. on 28th December 2010. Ren got a phone call from a friend that Joe was on the bridge and about to jump. Ren lived closest and pulled on his jeans and ran. Joe's phone was engaged and a couple of minutes before Ren got there, the phone was "out of service". When Ren arrived the bridge was empty. Joe had gone. Ren has carried that sense of guilt ever since ( and the terrible sense of loss of his best friend, and his own innocence)

[@stewrmo]

R.I.P. Joe. 💙

[@AnotherFacelessDigitalNoOne]

Feels wrong to like a comment like this. But I've been on that bridge before

[@elliepascoe5954]

​​@@AnotherFacelessDigitalNoOneAs was I. Ren saved me.🖤

[@AnotherFacelessDigitalNoOne]

@@elliepascoe5954 💙💙💙❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[@Mhantrax]

As a therapist, my experience has taught me that any time we try to obscure or outright hide talking directly about suicide, people get the point very quickly that they shouldn't yalk about it, that it isnt ok. This leaves them very alone and in despair, with very little direction or actionable behavior available to them. Ren is absolutely courageous. He's also an invaluable conduit for people to communicate.

[@JerryPaulTreeCreations]

Yes! Agreed!

[@shirazzza]

Yup as a counsellor talking about suicide isn't going to encourage people to do it. It's worth it to make people feel less alone knowing people have felt that pain but somehow overcame it

[@MsCogan555]

This!

[@dropbarracuda]

New subscriber, been watching the Ren journey. Please, do yourselves a favor and either privately or for a reaction, watch "For Joe". It picks up the second part of this song, and extends it beyond the raw pain to a place of fond reverence and healing. "For Joe" along with "Freckled Angels" were both an important part of Ren's journey through this, and because Ren is Ren, he's transcribed that journey to music to help others find their way through. 🙏🏻❤️ A little "Fun Fact" if you will about Ren: on Joe's birthday in June 2023, Ren made a donation in Joe's name to the RNLI, the Welsh Royal National Lifeboat Institution, who had gone out to look for Joe. The RNLI is a volunteer organization that saves lives in the rough waters around Wales. Ren initially had a goal of donating $5,000, but due to the massive growth of his fanbase due to exposure to his music through Hi Ren, he was ultimately able to donate $22,000. Joe was Ren's first "fan", amd anytime you hear a "Swanton Bomb" reference, that's a nod to Joe, who used to say it.

[@leslieballard9709]

Everyone I’ll tell you all the stories so I’m gonna skip right to the point. I appreciate you guys appreciate the way that you do reviews and have become a fan. I’m 42 mother five struggling with an autoimmune disease that keeps in bed of most the time. So just wanted to let you know I really look forward to your reviews and appreciate your humor and knowledge of music.

[@LoutTsu]

Ren set up a fundraiser for the RNLI, and Renegades donated to it. Went over the goal he had set. At the same time, Ren set aside profits from Freckled Angels sales (I think, someone can correct this if wrong) and gave those funds to Joe's parents. During the visit, Joe's parents asked to see "For Joe" and they watched it together.

[@dropbarracuda]

@@LoutTsu you got it with the fundraiser, the original goal of $5000 was actually blown past in less than 24 hours! Freckled Angels was actually released and dedicated to Joe back in 2016, however you've got it right that during that trip visiting back home from Canada, he visited with Joe's parents who asked to see the live session he'd recorded in Calgary (i.e., the "For Joe" video). Ren said he'd never been as nervous playing a video for someone than he did then. By the end, they all shared an emotional catharsis, and Ren has said this helped to lift some of the heavy weight he'd been carrying for years. 👍

[@jorice5528]

He also gave Joe’s family some of the donations & they bought a caravan/camper I believe to get away from it all & travel a bit 🙏😊 just one hell of a human all around ❤ RIP Dear Joe x

[@tomaszbielak]

Musical continuation of this story is "For Joe", recommending as next Ren's song.

[@sammyd8860]

Can I correct you guys, please ? How To Be Me was not performed on the Menai Bridge (which Joe jumped from) - a bit of an urban myth has grown up about it being on the bridge, it definitely wasn't. It was performed on the top of a building in either Brighton or London. Thanks

[@seana2646]

Its Brighton as the hills behind the city are visible.

[@sammyd8860]

@@seana2646 ah thank you, I wasn't sure which it was.

[@andrewdavidson665]

Hiding suicide and the reality of it and the suicidal ideation helps no one. I'm so glad he's tackling it head on. Hopefully we can as a society stop hiding the harsh stuff behind bleeps and trigger warnings.

[@docdurdin]

REn's song, "For Joe", picks up where this left off. It is a fitting homage to his friend years later. The lessons it taught Ren..

[@pepinosylvie8887]

You have to listen to For Joe guys ! Live accoustic continuation... Just him and a keyboard ... Powerful, impactful, wonderful ...

[@MoreKellBellPlease]

Such a beautiful juxtaposition with the first half and the second half. The first half is Ren's own suicidal ideation, and the tune is kinda catchy and upbeat, followed by the second half which tells Ren's side of being a victim to losing someone to suicide. Ironically, Joe probably saved Ren's life, because as much as Ren wanted to end it all through all of his suffering for years, he saw what it did to all of Joe's friends and family, and so Ren held on. Thank goodness. Joe and music saved Ren's life. And we are all oh so happy for that. Thank you for another great reaction.

[@LoutTsu]

Yes, such an important part of this. Knox Hill asked Ren how he got thru losing his dreams and his health and survived so much suffering without killing himself (without saying the word of course). It immediately brought up the story of losing Joe. Ren said he couldn't put his mother through the aftermath that Joe's mother suffered. He said elsewhere that at his worse, he begged his mother for permission to kill himself, which obviously she did not give him. I think social media does a disservice in "hiding" these discussions.

[@craigevans8912]

‘For Joe’ next. Not ashamed that I’ve cried to almost all of Ren’s music as a lot of it resonates with me.

[@colinsixhitter3303]

Hey born in 55. I shed tears listening to Ren missing past musical heroes. Tears for the subjects he covers. I weep in astonishment at his talent and cry for joy that finally a generation has a rebellious figure head missing for so long in the manufactured Simon Cowell controlled music industry. Long may his light burn brightly.

[@robingayle68]

I see a lot of people giving you details of the night Joe died. I'd like to give you other info. Ren credits Joe for saving his life. He said that seeing the pain of those he left behind kept him from doing the same. And in a short he put out for suicide prevention day last year he said that while suicide will stop painful things from ever happening again, it also stops things from ever getting better. And Ren raised something like £21,000 for the search and rescue group that searched so diligently for Joe's body even though they never found it. RIP Joe Hughes ❤

[@cas9065]

The mental health charity Mind started a new series of interviews with Ren because of this song. Check out the comments.

[@DanielOConnor-j7p]

Do the live version for joe next please lads

[@alancraig782]

Second that. It would help to do the song Freckled Angels from his 1st album as it contains some lyrics and updated additional lyrics that really make a lot of sense when you've heard it before For Joe. Spoiler alert. Get the tissues ready 😢😂😢😢😢

[@kathleenwincott5581]

Ren got a call that Joe was on the bridge. He ran to the bridge but was 5 minutes too late. Though they - including rescue services - searched for hours he was never found 😢

[@jiagforal]

😢

[@Ariel_Astara]

Ren made the whole internet cry with this song. The end of the song surprises everyone pretty much everytime.

[@garysherwin3316]

The night this dropped the internet cried 😢 🇬🇧

[@DarleneMiddleton-n3q]

Please watch “FOR JOE”heartbreakingly beautiful!!!!

[@KittyInTheGarden]

Ren wrote about what happened in the description of the song. Tomorrow he releases a song about another friend he lost not long after, Callum, whom he names in the lyrics here.

[@lorihutchinson9485]

I’ve listened to that an unhealthy number of times and it still chokes me up.

[@RetrospectsToo]

The crazy thing that last part was added to the song after his interview with Knox. The song was already mastered!

[@davidkramer9873]

I highly recommend REN and Sam Tompkins “Blind Eyed” MC sessions for your next Rensday! It won’t disappoint

[@TaeSikCha]

One of my closest friends decided to take his own life on the tracks begind my house, it would take some effort, but i could whip a rock to the spot from my house. Hits different knowing he was right there. He knew he was always welcome, but pain is pain.

[@d2ndborn]

Love the real reaction guy's. The live acoustic version For Joe is deep also. Tomorrow he is dropping another named Mackay. about another friend he lost 6 weeks after Joe. I am sure it will be powerful also.

[@dougoneill7266]

They didn't perform 'How to be me' anywhere near the 'Menai Bridge' where the Joe incident occurred, I walked over it to school and back every day.

[@sympotaz2960]

This IMO is just a completely broken man, who has found a way to express his angry/pain/depression/helplessness/confusion, by a means of which he is comfortable. Music is his and many others therapy and not a single person will every take that away from us. And i hope this has helped everybody the way it has helped me!!!

[@MySnottyattaC]

Let it out - tears and sadness. And speak about it openly. Thanks for your reaction. Saludos desde Valencia ✌️💚

[@phreddalicious]

I've listened to this song countless times, and it brings me to tears each and every time. Props to you guys for showing your humanity and willingness to be vulnerable.

[@webcrawler2007]

Heard this a hundred times or more, and it still gets me, every single time.

[@alexiaspaedt-mcintosh5311]

This one is a hard one for sure, it breaks my heart every single time I hear Ren's voice cracking into tears and when you have lost someone this way it is even harder to hear. Thanks for doing it and not shying away because it is a powerful and beautiful song. RIP Joe Hughes!

[@DogDocKat]

I find it interesting that it is fine to call a song Murderer but not Suic!de. Ren has a gift of getting people talking about difficult subjects. This is a great song and such a wonderful tribute to Joe. The second half of the song was written much later than the first half. Thank you for reacting to this one, even though it is difficult 💜💜

[@joannewilson2395]

You never know where a Ren song is going to take you even when you're halfway through listening to one 😊😊

[@sunshynff]

The deepest lines for me, and the one that crushed me too, was......... What it felt like to look down and see tranquility One sudden movement in a world of possibility Only one movement to expose our fragility Ren is a friggin' brilliant wordsmith!! Great authentic reaction guys, keep up the good work! ✌💚

[@T_Witti]

The others already told you about For Joe, but in my opinion For Joe is even better if you already know Freckled Angel. There is a version from the Freckled Angel album and a live. I live the album version better but in the live you can see how nervous he is probably just hoping he can make it through the song. The instrumental song he'll release tonight will be for Callum ("I miss chilling by the pier cave and kicking back With Callum, Hugo, Sagar, Justin, Stevie and the fuckin' lads") who died only a couple of months after Joe.

[@albamartinez4987]

For a first time listen you captured a lot considering how highly emotional this track is. After a few listens of this you'll notice that this is a song of two sides: the upbeat part about Ren's feelings about self elimination after all the suffering he went through and the second about the experience of being a loved one left behind from someone who went through with it and the utter devastation it left behind. Ren mentions self elimination in a few of his songs bc I feel that he would've really wished he could go through with it at some point or other whilst in the midst of all his pain. But having seen and felt the effect it had on those left behind, he opted for the more selfless option. Please read the long comment Ren left in his For Joe song before you react to it if you can. It does give you great background. Also, probably something you misheard in the lyrics, but Ren didn't say he was writing songs. It's just that he was called by a friend in the early hours and he just ran out of the house towards the bridge (he only lived a few mins away) but he apparently missed him by a couple of minutes or so. Did you know, Ren had the first section ready to go but felt there was something missing and was nervous to release it. He then had an interview with Knox Hill and for the first time in a while he spoke about Joe. When he got home he started to write and Ren said the lyrics and music just poured out of him. He said the emotions were so raw because he was literally writing two lines, recording them and then writing two more and so on.

[@Panikmannen126]

Ren - Freckled Angels (Official) - a 12 year old song about Joe. Bring your beating heart of stone, cause anything else will brake with this one.

[@ian9033]

nice reaction guys, whilst you've gone down the Joe story line might be worth checking out "for joe" rounds this out nicely and with some positivity. love your work.

[@AskiFin]

Nobody is ready for the "2nd verse".

[@TobiiRheaStarr]

Sending you guys lots of love across the pond. You should follow this up with “For Joe” live. This ends up quite positive. Tomorrow he drops a song for his other friend Callum who was mentioned in this one, he passed away a few months after Joe. RIP Joe Hughes and Callum Mackay 🖤

[@cas9065]

Saw you reacted to this, so here I am to check that you guys are OK. Ren releases an instrumental song tonight(Thursday), also for a different friend he lost, but I think more positive.

[@cyclops60]

There's so much irony in that we're supposed to talk about it to remove the stigma while KZbin's arbitrary censorship has made people scared to write or even utter the word! Like you guys I love the way he has the balls to address it full on. In being so open and vulnerable about Joe's death and it's impact, I'm sure he has started many conversations that will help a lot of people. I almost forgot to mention the amazing creativity in yet another direction! Cheers.

[@AndaraBledin]

The first half of this song is about his experience with suicidal ideation, but it had always felt unfinished, so he sat on it. Then, after an interview with Knox Hill, it came to him how it should go, and it's his experience being on the other side. He credits losing Joe with convincing him that he could never take his own life because he could never cause anyone else the sort of pain he's experienced. You should absolutely move on to listening to For Joe, and after that, check out his latest release, Mackay. Callum, one of the lads he mentions here, drowned along with a friend who tried to rescue him less than a year after they lost Joe.

[@AnotherFacelessDigitalNoOne]

Couple things... just from bouncing around for a while. First 2 verses are his visa vi ren looking at himself whilst saying "resist the feeling when it hits ya"... last is obv about joe as previously described but other posters and it was written after the first 2 by some margin to finish the song. Ren "mackay" is about another friend. Same situation. i hope you get to that too... because its purely instrumental... and when more than one of your best mates kills themselves.... sometiems all you have left is music ❤

[@richardhuff1256]

This song was not originally meant as a tribute to Joe. In an interview with Knox he talked about Joe for the first time in a long time. This was due out but it felt incomplete so he sat down at his piano and something like a week before release he added the second half.

[@Claudia9-3]

As a suici dal person this song it is well 🖋️. And yeah looking at the river ( deadliest in my country) but I felt calm but also I still didn’t jump ( for no family so nothing to lose ) also rip JoE and to all men and women that aren’t here anymore 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@lisabell2395]

Well done guys. I can't listen to that song without tearing up. The genuine hurt in Rens voice gets me every time. But that said also a masterpiece song on the subject

[@suesee4855]

Ren gives us permission to be human. Much love ❤️ Sue

[@kevinmundis1281]

You def need to do “For Joe” after this one. You won’t be disappointed.

[@paulajardine5566]

Watch the live version of Freckled Angels - his first tribute to Joe. It's raw

[@paulagate9295]

The Brutal and Sometimes Savage Honesty in Rens music is beyond words , Especially when its underlined with such Pure Genuine Compassion and Empathy ..Rens use of Rthyms,Melodies ,Beats wow.He is A Genius ,Im 59 yrs and music is my thing and has been for as long as I can remember, no one has captivated me moved me impressed me more than this amazing human being .

[@Shiroar]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE check out Freckled Angels BEFORE For Joe!! It makes the latter even more special. I usually recommend the studio version, but after the story you told, I think you definitely need to see the live version of Freckled Angels. Ren is a movement. He is showing us all that it’s okay to vulnerable and share our stories. And he is getting us talking about things we don’t talk about enough. The man even made a chorus so catchy that we’re singing it! 😅 The ending was written much later and it really completes the song. In an absolutely heart breaking way 😢 He recorded it bit by bit as he wrote it which is why it is so raw and emotional. Ren puts it all out there and the vulnerability is beautiful 🖤🐰🕳️

[@colinsixhitter3303]

You do not confront a problem by hiding from it. Ren hammers it home and its affects. This is from the heart, you cannot fake that sort of emotion.

[@andrewdavidson665]

That was your first time listening to it btw. Its my dozenth... and I'm in tears. Each time. I know its coming. I KNOW ITS COMING and I still can't stop. Tears every time. Beautiful but brutal song.

[@smashmouthleonard]

How how very sweet and kind Ashley. Just lovely. ❤

[@jkoll42]

You've got to do "For Joe"

[@craigevans8912]

100%

[@sistermoon1970]

Ren pointed out the fact he had to disguise the name of this song, yet the next one titled Murderer had no issues. This clearly hit you hard, but if you could handle doing For Joe next I feel it is strangely healing 🫶🫶

[@Shiroar]

Gotta do Freckled Angels first 🖤

[@Dr.Brummel]

There's another video (not only a song) regarding this topic I wanna recommend: 'Disturbed - A Reason To Fight [Official Live Video]' Makes me cry every time. Not an easy song either, but it's important that they exist.

[@barbarahatcher5942]

Wow guys, thank you for sharing this reaction. It is so intriguing to me how a song about something so tragic is so beautifully crafted. The music is soothing and catchy at the same time. The lyrics are thought provoking and personal and haunting. The end bit is so raw. This is a beautiful song. I hope you will continue this leg of the Ren journey and react to For Joe. You will not regret it. ❤️

[@jiagforal]

I knew that was coming. Happens every time and when I see reactors it really nails me. Rens sincerity is off the charts!❤❤

[@juliem660]

I see the comments are filling you in on the circumstances referenced in the song. Ren posted about it in his Community notes just before the song dropped. Callum... mentioned in the song... apparently passed 6 months later. Ren is dropping a song about Callum tomorrow. 3/28

[@Well-in-the-garden]

Hard song to listen to and I cry every single time I hear the monologue at the end. Every time! And I think it’s the kind of song once again you can relate to from both sides of the coin or the Angel or demon or your shoulders because you can empathise with all of the first part if you’ve ever been in that dark place like I have - all the things he says about how feeling suicidal makes you feel - deeply, he just expresses it so profoundly how it makes you feel yourself personally when you’re physically going through it and I mean I’ve been going through it recently because I’m going to be homeless come Monday. But then he also expresses what it feels like from the other side as someone left behind to deal with those emotions and regrets and what ifs and the grief. And that’s what stops me committing the act - every time I’m feeling that urge , that itch to just end it - is my children. My grown up beautiful children and friends and other family members that would always be haunted by it. But my God it’s so damn hard to stay out of your deep darkness and remember that when you’re in despair and desperation for the pain to be gone! Sorry that was a long one but I just felt I needed to respond. I would recommend watching “Dominoes” and “For Joe” also as an alongside this one. Thanks guys. Love watching your Ren reactions. One day I will watch some of your other videos too. 😘🌹❤️

[@marianneszijj]

Thank you for continuing to showcase our Sick Boi, Ren. It is great when reactors share some of their personal stories and how the song relates to their own experiences, like you have. I see the RENegades have filled you in on a lot of the back story. Ren did a live Twitch when he posted this song, Suic*de, that is definitely worth watching. He mentioned somewhere that he is breathing hard at the beginning of the transition to signify how he was out of breath when he reached the bridge and Joe was gone… 😭 I also suggest you listen to his tribute song, “Freckled Angels” before moving on to “For Joe.” There are a couple of versions- the studio version is beautiful! There is a version with a very brave and young Ren struggling to get through it without breaking down in front of a live audience as well. Both are incredibly touching. He released, the live one-shot, “For Joe” last and it seemed to give Ren the closure he needed so badly, as well as everyone else following his journey through grief. Ren also has a song called “Pocket Full of Pain” that is often overlooked! It deals with suic*dal ideation but has a really hopeful message as well. Finally, Ren dropped a new tribute instrumental song he composed for another friend named Callum, who sadly ended his life a few months after Joe. He said he will post it tomorrow, 4/28. 💔❤️‍🩹❤️

[@jacks9624]

This is a powerful one, guys...

[@analisasmith7927]

Now you need to listen to For Joe - it moves from the darkness of Suicide to somewhere more hopeful. X

[@sanfordgfogg]

I find it ironic that Ren puts up this song with the modified title for the purposes of avoiding algorithm issues, while the song is about the loss for this reason. Yet Ren also can put up Murderer that some could argue sorta pushes in the opposite direction without worry on the algorithm. Ren also opens his song "For Joe" with the second half of this song. If this one makes you leak tears, I suggest "For Joe".

[@darena55]

Ren is making it ok to say the word

[@CreativePhotoWS]

This is a topic far too hidden in Western Society. Thank you Ren for bringing another tough subject out into the open to start discussions. Thank you guys for being your genuine lovely selves in this. For us who have lost friends this way it hurts every time but it also heals a little too. You need to complete the trio of songs with For Joe and the live performance of Freckled Angels. IT's part of Ren's journey and helps understand the artist too. His song released tomorrow is for his friend Callum who took his life 6 months after Joe.

[@lynette.]

Its taken years to remove the stigma associated with suicide so people are able to open up and talk maybe preventing suicide. Trying to turn back the clock to where it was a hidden subject is so wrong and dangerous. The authorities that do that should be ashamed.

[@eturfrey]

This I believe is Ren saying although he suffered years of physical pain and the pain of losing his best friend to suicide he never considered suicide, he saw what his friend Joe’s suicide did to family and friends.

[@salishseamermaid]

I LOVE that Ren takes these taboo issues and drags them into the light.

[@saragates2255]

I think that's the beauty of Ren's art... His storytelling takes us down a journey that we FEEL. It's like an out of body experience 🌟❤️‍🩹

[@williamparrish9954]

this is from Ren community page Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write. Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday. I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again. This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary. Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe. Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then. On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left. Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late. Joe’s body was never found. Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe. As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since. My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew. Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came. This will be my next release

[@francescavandaele985]

Ren wrote this without the ending, then after an interview with another KZbin reactor he sat down and wrote the ending, recording each line as he wrote it. I tear up every time I listen.

[@snakecharm13]

The prelude to this song was a song called for Joe. It’s the song freckled angels with the poem at the end…. And it’s live, just Ren and a keyboard.

[@petebrown6356]

I can't think of another song that invokes so much emotion. I remember hearing it for the first time....damn Ren, you made the internet cry.

[@francesdoll4039]

Ren did a twitch the next day to check on everyone and to talj about hiw he experienced grief and assured us he was ok and would nevet consider doing anything, though in the midst of his illness he wanted to. Becase of what he wrnt through with Joe, ge would never do that to his family snd friends.

[@stephenneeson5194]

If u dont shed a tear when u hear that your not human

[@dubbayabird6680]

No, didn't dhu away at all. He wants it to be talked about. It needs to be talked about. Then maybe someone hearing this or talking about this song will be able to relate and not do what so many people have (,myself included) tried or thought about. Sorry, this comment is an absolute mess in the grammar dept. Forgive please. awesome reaction guys and never be afraid to be real.

[@beverlywest7627]

Ren forces you to hear the word .He always seems to spark a conversation.

[@MissMeKate]

💔 I think he deliberately made the hook catchy like an earworm, to echo the way those thoughts can be intrusive.

[@itsayswithoutgoing9571]

Sweet Maui No Ka Oi shirt. Had the same and lived in Hāna for 5yrs. Awesome reaction as always!

[@MalcolmMXTaylor]

Great reaction guys! I don't know about now, but when this was first released it had an adult warning click through KZbin added to it which definitely suppressed it for views

[@JoeYo77]

Wow, this is only a day old and he just released the song today about his other friend that died who is 21 to drown. Did you guys do that? Wow what beautiful composition. Freckle angel also about Joe who jumped off the bridge. Sad stuff but unfortunately poor life, the song that he wrote today well it’s a musical piece. His buddy died at the exact same age. My best friend died 21 1/2 different ways though.

[@winterlady10281]

He removes the stigma of the word.

[@yilomina2047]

Shortly after this song dropped, Ren posted: "Is it just me that thinks it's weird that you're allowed to have a song called MURDERER without censorship issues but call it Suicide and it gets flagged??????" He definitely did this on purpose! It's so important to be able to talk about our pain; otherwise, we get the message that our pain is shameful, and we just suffer more.

[@carlahelin5203]

Not shy about the subject as we need to be able to open up much needed conversations regarding the S word. Not sure if this will get flagged. The end part gets me every time. Great reaction guys. Love the synchronization about the ocean of tears.

[@KitstormUno]

This one is hard but needed.

[@Emilie-one]

I cry every time I hear this. The end when he breaks down, it kills me. Thank you for an honest and raw reaction. This one hits deeply for a lot of people. ❤

[@optimistinmyprime]

I appreciate how this song and a few others (actually, more than a few) show him processing this grief. Some people just don't don't know how to grieve. ❤ Thanks guys. (In the follow-up, For Joe, you can see him coming out the other end... from grief to hope)

[@timishere1925]

First!! Great reaction, guys. Especially considering the subject.

[@Jason_xofilos]

You also need to hear “For Joe”.

[@PoliticallyPink]

He captures the grief and guilt so well, I re-feel it every time. The last part.

[@kmking421]

If you havent heard it yet, you guys should checknout his cover of War Pigs

[@davidhasson1594]

Ren has another song for Joe called freckled angles but he preforms lt live just after he passes away. And you can see him really struggling to keep it together am guessing just like yous did for ur friend. Its also a great song

[@leighhewitt5476]

Your insight is worth the pauses. I'd take more pauses from you both anyday ❤

[@Dr.Brummel]

Thanks for this reaction. And never be ashamed of beeing human. ❤This is simply a brutally heartbreaking song. In the beginning, the song only consisted of the first part and Ren wasn't entirely happy with it. After an interview with Knox Hill, where Ren talked about Joe, he had the idea for the second part. In June 2023 Ren donated 21K Pounds to the RNLI (Royal National Lifeboat Institution) on Anglesey, who helped find Joe in that night and the following days. He collected the money via the JustGiving platform. 'For Joe' is a kind of continuation of this song and gives the loss a slightly different twist. Absolutely worth listening next.

[@mldkenny]

Thank you for doing this tough one,

[@snakecharm13]

This song is extremely brave.

[@Penddraig7]

Ren has a habit of making songs where the music is a juxtaposition of the mood of the lyrics, so a song about a dark subject he uses light upbeat catchy boppy music, the whole yin yang, light and dark thing. The part at the end of this song was a last minute addition and is the start of a song he did called For Joe which was a live performance and it expands on the end part of this song in a really beautiful way, it’s definitely worth a watch, one that seems to get overlooked by many but is absolutely up there as a standalone song and a fitting tribute to Joe

[@jorice5528]

Appreciate your heartfelt reaction guys, it’s a tough one, and a necessary one - so thankful for Ren providing us the pages to keep writing our own stories despite our pain. Much love ❤️

[@mrsainsburys1]

Many blessings, thank you for this 🙏🦉❤️🐊👍