First Trimester Hell | Ep 8 | My Journey to Solo Motherhood

Thank you to everyone who's been watching the series! This is the end of the "My Journey to Solo Motherhood" series, however my videos about pregnancy and beyond will continue on my channel. You can pick up where this video finishes by watching my first "Bumpdate" video and working through those and the other videos about pregnancy on my channel.
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[@aliciaswain9551]

I think it’s so amazing that you shared this side of pregnancy, as someone who is wanting their first baby soon and feeling extremely broody, it shows a really, raw insight into how hard pregnancy can be..so brave of you, it shows true strength and courage🙏🏼

[@marabanara]

This is very much truth. Wish you all the best for your journey.

[@Jimmynessable]

As someone who’s gone through this with all of my pregnancies thank you for making this. I felt so alone with my experiences of prenatal depression because nobody ever talks about it. Even now I struggle to talk about it when people ask why I won’t have any more children I just say “pregnancy was hard” rather than what I’m really thinking which is “I’m scared pregnancy will leave my kids without a mother”.

[@marabanara]

Same for me.

[@IonIsFalling7217]

I have bipolar disorder and oh goodness yes, depression and those horrible intrusive thoughts just ruin your life. I’m glad there’s support available and that you’re taking advantage of it!

[@meluvfriends]

Im so sorry this has been so rough for you. But thank you for still being willing to share this journey with us ❤

[@xeniadelsol]

I know it's been almost a year since this video but I must thank you for this video. Hearling what you were going through and experiencing what I'm experiencing now, this helps my mental health sooo much. ♥♥♥

[@SidneyRanger1138]

Thank you so much for your courage and honesty to share all of this. I can imagine it feels very lonely, especially when everyone acts like you're supposed to be "glowing" and all that. Wishing you health and much joy with your little one. ❤

[@Zerogreelynn]

Thank you for being so transparent. I'm 19 weeks pregnant with Twins and struggling a lot. Pregnancy is HARD. I know once they're here it's going to be hard as well so i'm just feeling a bit lost in the challenge. Hoping for positives as well

[@Salbertsson]

I really appreciate your honesty in all your pregnancy videos. It’s so refreshing to see someone talking about the less than glamorous side of pregnancy. I’m sure many will benefit from seeing your videos and knowing they aren’t alone in their experience of pregnancy.

[@WonderousAndWitchy]

I appreciate your candor in how you’re feeling, with your depression and questioning your decision. No one shows this side of pregnancy and I think it’s important.

[@Weartracy]

I am so sorry you dealt with such a hard start of your pregnancy😟 I, too, was sick starting week two till I had my daughter. It was then that I asked myself “why would anyone do this ever??” My second pregnancy was so much better!!! Hugs to you and baby🥰

[@victoriarose310]

I have just watched this for the second time- the first when you first posted it and it resonated as I had had such a difficult first pregnancy with Hyperemesis and depression. I am now 7 weeks pregnant with my second and deep in that again. It is SO hard to picture how you feel even when you’ve don’t it once but being back there is almost haunting. This is giving me the strength to keep going and know I’m not alone. It feels impossible right now, especially with my first one in tow who I feel I’m letting down every day. Thanku for being open about how hard it can be xx

[@stacieknits]

Such a validation to others that pregnancy isn't always Pinterest worthy! I, too, was quite ill at the beginning of both of my pregnancies and didn't enjoy much of the 9 months. Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing the hard parts of pregnancy.

[@JessikaRabbot]

I am crying watching this. As I am at week 11 watching your journey having the same symptoms you’ve had. I felt so alone before following your journey and your right no one tells you how hard it can be but watching this video has helped me today so thank you for being so honest and open. I’m sorry you had it just as hard ❤ you have a great support

[@jeaninevanzantvoort4042]

I love honesty! So happy to see a real person saying pregnancy is crappy. It's ok to feel shit. Thank you for showing Bryony!

[@aleeshaaleeshaaleesha]

You've changed your tune today 🙄

[@Nisalyn88]

Only women who have been through this can understand! I was nauseous and vomiting from 6 weeks until literally 30 mins after my son was born. It was hard for me to keep water down some days and I lost 13% of my body weight during my pregnancy despite having a 7 pound baby. (While other women were congratulating me on being so small and thin…WHAT!?) I never considered a termination but I honestly some days wished for a miscarriage. It was only the hope that the next week would be better that kept me sane. My son was 100% worth the physically worst 8 months of my life, but I do not ever want to be pregnant again because I am afraid my mental health would decline dangerously, without any hope that I would feel better until after the birth. Giving birth and taking care of a newborn was nothing compared to pregnancy!

[@lizade3814]

I have several coworkers who have had babies over the last few years and all of them struggled and had a horrible time while pregnant. Women have a tendency to not tell each other the bad stuff. It's different for everybody, but for the most part, it's horrible. My OB and I had a chat about that and we decided that if women told each other what really happens nobody would have babies.

[@MinimumViablePicnic]

I think we also don't remember it after, the bodies way of tricking us into having more

[@animearigatoo]

I'm sad to hear how hard it have been for you. I had a horrible pregnancy myself and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I was nauseous and threw up from week 6 to 1 week on overtime 😅 Periodically threw up once an hour for days 😔 I was hospitalised 9 times, for approximately 3 months in total. Lost so many kilos instead of gaining. So glad I'm living in this time and age, or I probably wouldn't been alive today.... Love my daughter with all my heart, she was worth it, but I'll NEVER be pregnant again.

[@SoulxSpectre]

Have you considered the possibility that you may have some ptsd from being so unwell with Lyme? Chronic illness can absolutely cause ptsd, so it isn't surprising if being reminded of it and nausea could knock you for six mental health wise. Love you, thinking of you, you're doing so amazingly at capturing all the realness of pregnancy. You got dis mama! :)

[@shelleyjones4146]

Hannah Witton and Colleen Ballinger are two youtubers who come to mind who have semi recently had babies who didn't have it easy in their pregnancies. Also I was just talking with friends last night about how every symptom seems to be a thing in pregnancy as a friend developed asthma just while pregnant and apparently that's a thing.

[@katepearson1277]

Thank you for being so real! I suffered with hyperemesis gravidarium during my eldests pregnancy and it was absolutely awful, i was completely bedbound, I then also suffered with SPD and wound up on crutches and I cannot tell you how many times I would sit and cry questioning what I can do and debating a termination and then regretting not getting one as i was further along and suffering still and like you I also suffered with severe depression. I am so glad I didn't let my brain/depression win on the termination as my little girl is now 7 and has two younger siblings! Not many people talk about when it's really bad, it's usually just people saying ooo I feel a bit sick and it's just really reassuring to see someone who has also gone through that same thought process that I did even if it is 7/8 years on! I know I'm just a stranger on the Internet but if you ever needed a listening ear I'm happy to help🤗 x

[@incy_eliz]

I am so happy for you lovie!!!! I hope you have a terrific pregnancy and delivery ❤️

[@rhodabuker8736]

Thank you for sharing your story. You are not alone. So many of us women have a dreadful time in the first trimester. It’s brutal. Sometimes makes us all second guess or momentarily regret getting pregnant. I love a quote I heard recently-it’s okay to hate pregnancy and love the baby. Hugs

[@oceana3070]

Ohhh Bryony, I empathise with your HG experience to the max! I am nearly to the day the same gestational age as you, and also had onset of what turned out to be HG, at 6 weeks. By 8 weeks I was vomiting all day, even waking up out of a sleep at night wretching, at my worst throwing up 12+ times a day up to 20 weeks. Nothing helped, I’d take meds and throw them up. I’d get IV fluids and feel ok for 12 hours, then it’d happens all over again. My baby was also planned and is so loved and wanted, but the experience made me question everything. Luckily I made it through, and so did you. Give yourself a huge pat on the back; it’s not for the faint hearted.

[@daneenkosa9962]

Briene I am so proud of you for sharing. I felt the same way you did nausea, tiredness depression, and anxiety. I was miserable! I was too afraid to share because I had gone through 2 years of infertility and 6 IUIs. I am also traveling the solo mama route and I felt like I did have a right to say anything negative. I was pregnant with twins and that seemed to double my physical symptoms and worry about the future. Pregnancy is NOT a neutral state of being. I know that now but there wasn't anyone at the time to tell that. Also for the future B6 25mg 3 times a day with Unison (Tablet only No gel) did wonder for me. Wishing you the best.

[@susanb.8285]

I also had a horrible first trimester. I ended up losing 9lbs and begging my provider for medication. I was literally surviving on chicken noodle soup and watered down Gatorade. Everything else I would immediately throw up, including water. The medication didn't solve everything, but it at least allowed me to tolerate more foods and stop losing weight. I also was diagnosed with pregnancy related thyroid issues. But it finally got better after 14 weeks, and now I'll be 36 weeks pregnant with twins tomorrow.

[@denisei5367]

So sorry to hear about your difficult time. I might know a little bit about how you are feeling. My pregnancies were certainly not enjoyable. I literally could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. Which is ridiculous because you can only be pregnant for a set amount of time of course…. But my brain was just not working right. Thank goodness for your family’s help. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Your hormones are all over the place, as well as being exactly as they should. Keep telling people how you are doing. Don’t be alone in this. You are doing amazing. Even though people will say that women have been doing this for centuries…..it’s is your first time. Everything you are experiencing is validated. ❤

[@Madreministry]

Thank you for being so honest ♥️ My experience with pregnancy is always absolutely miserable. It’s hard when it seems like everyone else is living in baby bliss and I’m struggling to even survive.

[@Jazzmine1]

You are going through a constant trigger of being sick because of your experience with Lyme disease, and that makes you so strong, every day you battle it, and you make it to the next day, which means you are winning. Keep strong, I know it’s easier said than done, but remember why you wanted to start this journey. You are getting the mental help you need and that’s great! That will help a lot. As well many woman don’t feel connections to babies and pregnancy right away, even if it was planned, that’s ok if it develops over time. There doesn’t have to be that initial spark. You are doing great, and thank you for showing another side of pregnancy many women go through.

[@chloetownsend7329]

When I was pregnant about 2 and a half years ago I had severe sickness and nausea I ended up going to hospital because I was seriously dehydrated and they put me on cyclizine and metoclopromide together and they knocked off all of it which was nice to be able to live normally not just be in bed all day xx

[@jucijuicy]

The episode you described at the coffeshop sounds like a drop in blood pressure, I have those pretty regularly (because I have vasovagal syndrome), if you are still having those I would suggest drinking loooots of water, avoiding staying on your feet for long periods of time, avoiding heat and crowded places and try not going long periods without eating anything. It reaaaally sucks, but those tips really help me to avoid the episodes, I hope they're helpful to you if that is really what you are experiencing!

[@arlascott]

Oh, Bryony… :( just wanted to give you a big hug! I really do hope you’re feeling better these days ❤

[@nessaren01]

I’m so intrigued with this. It reminds me of the documentary “First comes love”, it relates to a woman in NY also documenting her journey to solo motherhood. Please watch it, you’ll be very moved by it!

[@l.squared]

I'm sorry your pregnancy is so hard, and with deciding to be a solo mother I'm glad you have such wonderful supportive parents. I cannot imagine going through all of that alone. Just remember when you have your little one in the end it'll all be worth it ❤

[@The3GMom]

I’m still praying that your excitement and joy for this pregnancy increases.

[@joannarobinson4149]

Thank you for sharing such an honest account - it's easy to think that people just get a bit of sickness and otherwise love life being pregnant. I was thankfully not especially nauseous with my LO but I was definitely depressed. It was horrible. I think one reason for that was that I had a pregnancy loss before that, and so I just shut off any positivity about my pregnancy. Wouldn't accept that it could well work out, that this might be different, had no energy and no drive or interest in anything or anyone. I was just under such a dark cloud. Thankfully for me second trimester and beyond was sooo much better. I felt a big weight lifted after my 12wk scan and the fog started to clear. It was honestly night and day. Hard to know whether that was just a change in my mindset knowing that my pregnancy was going well, or if it was a change in hormones. Probably a bit of both. So if anyone is struggling with things in 1st trimester I encourage you to just be honest and speak to someone - your midwife, your partner, family or whoever. Let them help, even if it's just asking them for their understanding and patience. Hope things are improving for you Bryony! X

[@ihatebananas6468]

Thank you for showing such a raw and honest true account of pregnancy. I dreamt of starting a family and after being told we would never have children I was over joyed to discover I was pregnant with our miracle baby. My sister was pregnant at the same time and was breezing through so I thought my pregnancy would go the same way. Oh no I had prenatal depression sickness from 7 weeks until my daughter was born SPD pre eclampsia I was on bed rest at times you name it I had it. I felt robbed of this magical pregnancy television and social media portrays. I was definitely not glowing like the pictures in magazines. I wish I had of seen something like this to know how I was feeling someone else was going though. My daughter is now 2 and the most amazing little girl. Xxx

[@margaretbancalari4261]

I hope you the best ❤

[@FourThousandMilesTogether]

Bryony you said it perfectly when you talked about the sickness triggered Lyme memories and that is not to be underestimated! I know you're through a lot of this early stage now but i still wanted to highlight how trauma is triggered and shows up as anxiety and depression symptoms. That tearfulness at leaving your parents too. I HIGHLY recommend looking up emotional flashbacks as that's exactly what you're describing. It's a good sign for you that when you're on stable ground weather it's in a month or a year to maybe seek some therapy on that period of your life so it's not so triggering in those early days of postnatal recovery or another pregnancy etc. Trauma is stored in the body and so talking about it may hae been okay before but feeling those same bodily feelings is a whole different ballgame! Much love! xo

[@amagr1990]

I’m watching this video so late and I feel so sorry that I did not catch the meaning of how you felt bad in your IG stories, I thought you referred to the usual nausea pregnancy has, but I now understand that you felt REALLY bad!! I’m sorry and I hope you get better soon!! ❤

[@bilong92]

some of these comments are shocking. I really enjoy seeing all your updates! I think some people are struggling with seeing your honesty - we live in a society where pregnancy has to be the best time of our lives and we must be so grateful and grin and bear it and never ask for help, and anyone going against that is apparently worth endless criticism.

[@Kaatje04IJ]

I suffered a lot with depression in the first trimester, going into the second trimester. Now I'm at the start of my third, and luckily the depression has gone away a bit, but I do get counseling and I will also get counseling after giving birth, which is really making me feel better.

[@patrycjaoledzka5922]

I’m so sorry that you’ve had such a tough time during the first trimester 😢 It’s scary what the hormones can do with our bodies and minds… I’m 7 weeks pregnant at the moment and yesterday I had my first craving that was so strong I was going to the supermarket with madness in my eyes. Feeling quite okay so far, except for the constant burping and feeling bloated. Not as tired as the weeks before and had only 5 days of morning nausea that got settled after I had breakfast. Oh, and since week 4 I have barely eaten any sweets (which is weird for me and was one of the things that made me do the test).

[@charlotte1715]

I live on cyclizine, not pregnant i just suffer with nausea all the time and it really works for me. Glad you tried a few and potentially found something that helped. It's good to see a real look at a hard pregnancy but hate that its been so hard for you

[@BourbonEtAl]

Honestly, anti emetic drugs terrify me. I had a complete breakdown (talking months of extreme can't even get out of bed anxiety) due to taking prochlorperazine. It's now on my notes that I had an "adverse" reaction to it but from the research I did, a heck of a lot of people do. As soon as you mentioned that word I knew where your mental health blip would have come from. Different drug, but same effects. No doubt a huge part of why you've not enjoyed this pregnancy. That drug group really messes with you. Even for a while after taking it!!! Think it's really brave and inspiring of you to share this xx

[@kat_trabue]

I felt a real lack of connection with my baby early in the pregnancy as well. I even felt very awkward at some of the early scans because everyone acted like I should be crying or something and I just felt very meh about it. Once we got later on and I could feel movement and the scans really showed her features (esp noticing some features she got from me) I started to feel more excited and attached. But honestly it wasn't until she arrived that it really felt more real and even then I think it took a bit to feel as connected as I had expected to. As she grew and got a personality that's what really made the biggest difference for me. Now she's 5 and just the most awesome person to where I would like her even if she wasn't mine.

[@sarawilliams9025]

This! 100 percent how I felt too. I felt like something was wrong with me for not crying at early ultrasounds.

[@tisha1109]

I’m in my first trimester and when you said it sucks I honestly felt someone understands because it truly does suck. Im nauseous, tired and depressed. I get headaches and cant take medication. Im very excited but honestly no one warned me it will suck being pregnant.

[@TheEarthtoemily]

I’m unable to take the Metoclopramide (reglan) due to it causing me extreme depression, anxiety, and intrusive thoughts. This is an extreme reaction, not super common, but worth looking into if you think that could be causing you any issues. Edit: and the more I watch you do mention that. I’m so glad you mentioned it. It was horrifying for me. I had about 5 episodes with it before I knew what it was.

[@maddiejoy6619]

Uncommon opinion I have: Pregnancy is harder than having a newborn. People told me having a newborn is super hard (for some people it is!), but for me, pregnancy was harder. At least when I had my newborn, I felt pretty well and all my birth-related anxiety was gone. Keep asking for help whenever you need it. You and your baby are worth it. ❤️

[@workingmumsneedgin6505]

I completely agree, the minute my babies were out of me I felt a million times better! I had three c-sections and the recovery plus having a newborn was a walk in the park compared to pregnancy xx

[@ralbynb158]

I know these vlogs have been uploads d in a funny order so we know things haven't been easy for you as mentioned in more recent videos but this video was so raw and real and I cannot thank you ebl8gh for that, its really soimportsnt to recognise that pregnancy can be an absolutely awful experience for some and that's normal and that's okay.

[@kittypanda10]

Yes i have chronic illnesses and my pregnancy 2 years ago was sooooo hard but i wanted my rainbow baby so i struggled through

[@chantellsenekal2641]

I was also so nauseous between 6 and 12 weeks. My entire life came to a halt except for going to work and back home. My wonderful husband had to sort everything from food to the house. I survived on plain carbs for those weeks. 13weeks brought relief that I could not believe. I would not wish it on anyone for a second.

[@hattygardner4437]

Amazing that you were able to go to work 🧡🧡

[@LotusBlack5]

My son is now just about to turn 4 (in 3 months). I am from Australia, but was pregnant and had my baby in the UK. I grew up with the knowledge that having children would be extremely difficult to impossible unless I had medical intervention and even then the chances were quite small. So, at 32 years old, in the middle of my MPhil degree as an International student with an incredibly abusive supervisor and struggling with severe financial hardships (rationing meals, etc.) I was socked beyond belief to find that I was pregnant with my new-relationship partner. I was alone in the UK, but I was used to living abroad on my own for many years by that point, but this time was different because my mother had unexpectedly died not long before this time, so I had zero support. My pregnancy was high risk because I have endometriosis, a bicornate uterus, and it is tilted backwards to quite a significant degree. All these issues made getting pregnant and, more importantly, sustaining a pregnancy quite tricky. I struggle with severe emetaphobia, which is the phobia of nausea and vomiting. Many people who suffer with emetaphobia cannot have children due to the mental health aspect of it. Unfortunately, I experienced extreme nausea, which kept me so anxious and triggered the whole time. I also had really bad condition where I'd suddenly black out any time, anywhere. I experienced what you described as losing your hearing and then it becoming like a pin point sound in your ears, etc. It was just awful. My nausea lasted the entire 9.5 months and my doctor refused every anti nausea medication other than a mild antihistamine, which did bugger all. I hated pregnancy, every single moment of it from beginning until end. I was so grateful that my body was able to fall pregnant and sustain a pregnancy despite my fertility issues, but the whole experience was traumatising beyond belief. My partner at the time was so emotionally and psychologically abusive and I ended up with a high risk labour and delivery. I was in latent labour for 4 days and active labour for another 18 hours with serious complications that ended with me in an emergency c-section and nearly dying. Throughout all this, my partner was so abusive and continued to be years after. Bonding with my son after he was born took about 1.5 years and I felt so trapped because of the abuse I was experiencing, the isolation due to being alone in the UK as well as my son being born 5 weeks before the first national lockdown with COVID, etc. The whole thing was absolutely awful and the worst time of my life. BUT, I love my son more than life and although I stupidly kept fighting for my marriage with my ex at the time and ended up pregnant again, I lost the baby due to his emotional abuse and my pre-existing fertility issues, so really truly unlikely able to ever have any more, despite this, I'd go through it again to have the chance to have one more. I won't be able to, but I look at my son and so thankful I was able to have him even through all the pain and heartache. I'm proud of my body for managing to hold on to his little embryo and then when he became a real little human before birth.

[@EnglishVirgo]

Dizziness and fainting is horrid. It has stolen the majority of my independance from me. Mine isnt from pregnancy, it is because of some health conditions, but basically I am constantly off balance and dizzy, it has become my default state for around seven or eight years now. That has meant that I had to give up work and socialising, because my concentration is on being concerned that it is going to build up and make me pass out in public. I also get sudden intense extra dizziness, which I HAVE to stop and lay my head down when I have. I also faint sometimes too, which luckily I get a small amount of notice for and am able to lay myself down in a safe position until I come around. But it has meant that I can't work, I can't go out alone, I have to walk with a stick to help me feel a sense of balance and support. Long story short, I feel for you with the dizziness and fainting, it truly sucks!

[@ec2497]

My goodness your local GP practice sounds so much more organised than mine! 😂

[@drabby7925]

I have a 15 month old and i really want to be pregnant again! Watching this really reminded me of how hellish it was and now I know to wait until my child is older so I don’t suffer so much

[@macbump]

Overall how long did your nausea last? I have 4 kids and the first 3 (same dad) it lasted ~4-6 weeks. Mostly evenings. Only 1 major food aversion with #1. #4 threw me for a loop. New partner and the nausea was like projectile vomiting multiple times a day level from about 5 weeks to 6 months. Then the heartburn kicked in when I could finally stop taking the nausea meds. 🙄 I went off tea, herbal tea, and coffee. (Oh by the way: I didn’t drink coffee during any of my other 3 pregnancies but to an extent so much of what you’re careful with with your first you end up slacking off on later with others. I took zero meds with 1&2, but did take allergy meds for spring pollens with 3, and did NOT stop drinking coffee until bub #4 basically forced me to! 😅) Also tbh I was happiest with my 1st pregnancy, really wanted that experienced. #2 was kind of “ok we’ll get through this but maybe that’ll be it”. #3 I mostly hated being pregnant. Was an oopsie and really not into my relationship with the dad and therefore it was pretty awful. Best birth experiences of the 4 were 2&3 though with #1 a close 3rd. And then with #4 I was kind of “excited for the future” in a way but the nausea was SO pervasive. I was on diclectin which is B6 plus another anti nausea med (not the metoclopramide) and I found some limited research that that anti nausea med may be linked to craniosynostosis which my little one was born with. 😢 Also I was early in the relationship with his dad (who has been nothing but awesome and supportive) and bled a LOT (maybe a miscarriage of a twin? I’ll never know!), and I was “geriatric” by then so lots more tests and ultrasounds and I didn’t actually tell my partner until 19 weeks. Told my parents at 7.5 months and their reaction was AWFUL (I expected as much). So, on the one hand I was happy about a potential future with my partner, I was anxious he would not be interested in the baby, nervous about the bleeding, and SO OVER the nausea.😅 And then his birth was absolutely awful, trauma I could write an entire book about. Ended in a c section due to the craniosynostosis, but before it became an “emergency c section”. I wish you a birth like any of my first 3 (all fast easy labours with no pain meds!😅) and nothing like the last. Little one is good now but it was a massively rocky start in so many ways! 🥶

[@melissaf2763]

I'm just a couple weeks behind you in my pregnancy. We had some pretty hot days during my 1st trimester too, and we only had a portable ac unit. Some of those days were ROUGH.

[@melissaf2763]

Different issue, but I experienced a loss before this pregnancy, and it definitely made the 1st trimester harder in general. You feel so yucky and I had a hard time connecting with it before I knew it was viable. Ignore the people who give you a hard time about it. I'm so glad you're being honest about how it's been for you!

[@madelinejohnstone9950]

The nausea/vomiting was so hard for me! I got to the point of not being able to keep down water and sobbed to my OBGYN, begging for anti-nausea meds. Thank goodness he prescribed it with no resistance- I lost 25 lbs in 1st trimester and I’m 35 weeks and my nausea/vomiting has only started to get better the last month. My best description of 1st and 2nd trimester is “a slow death crawl” because every minute of the day was a struggle to keep food down. Plain cold oatmeal and ice cubes were essentially all I could eat for a couple of months.

[@user-bh7uc7iy5u]

I'm so sorry it has been so hard for you ❤❤

[@amysettle85]

Is there anyway you can take the pill at night every night and it still help with the morning sickness maybe.

[@kawannahardy2924]

I really wanted this to be a happy, wonderful experience for you. Hopefully, it will get better soon. Btw, I'm not sure if I just missed you saying your due date before, but Pisces happen to be Wonderful people. My birthday is on the 26th, and my grandson's is the 28th😉.

[@bryonyw4739]

That first trimester is ROUGH, I had constant nausea the whole pregnancy with my first, it was horrible. Sometimes it was so bad it was like I was on a really rough boat and the only thing that stopped it was going to sleep for the night, then it started again the next morning. My second I actually threw up but it stopped about 14 weeks and I definitely preferred that! 😅

[@ideaalaa]

Sending hugs ❤❤❤

[@hoggelifejerseychannelisla5591]

In some ways I wish for you that you had shared this all sooner, So that you knew you where not alone, in 2020 I felt very similar with my very much wanted 3rd pregnancy! It was so awful in that first trimester and I so wasn’t expecting it as I’d not felt like this with my others. I had the same thoughts on if I could continue because I felt so awful. 😢. I can promise you that it will all be a Distant memory once you have the little precious baby in your hands.

[@karinseaman4060]

I had all day sickness throughout most of my pregnancy, which made it pretty miserable 🤦🏻‍♀️ and my medication never really helped..

[@jessicaf9486]

Me too! But luckily unisom and vitamin B6 at bedtime helped keep it under control, I only had a handful of days through pregnancy where it was bad enough I just wanted to lay down. Luckily never actually threw up though.

[@bea9631]

I have very bad anxiety and IBS which means I feel sick basically all the time and I genuinely don't think I'd be a functioning human being without cyclizine, I've been taking it for about 3 years. and as a very non science brained person it blows my mind that some drugs do absolutely nothing for some people but can work miracles for others

[@jenpringle6402]

Girl same same same. Pregnancy is rough.

[@LR-ux4fh]

My pregnancy experience was shit as well, I felt ill. I was vomiting a lot for 21 weeks until they prescribed me zofran and that helped. It got a bit more bearable later in pregnancy, I could eat more, had more appetite, etc.

[@claudiajade624]

😥 I'm so sorry had such a tough time 💜💜

[@LETMino85]

I have to say, that the only thing I know about pregnancy is the sickness in the early weeks 😅 Could it be that it gets worse than what others experience when you have/had chronic issues? Anyway, hope you feel better soon ❤️ You're totally a hero and brave to discuss abortion like this.

[@claram9120]

I went to Portugal at the same time as your parents and got covid there lol!

[@Antonia_s1921]

I had the exact same feelings when I first became pregnant with my first xx

[@terriandlola]

The 1st trimester and actually the whole of pregnancy was 1000x worse than the 4th trimester and having a newborn! Hang in there ❤️

[@nicoleharvey257]

You poor thing hunny….I know this is an older video, I’d been on that metaclobimine before and it made my depression much much worse as well, to the point I had suicidal thoughts but as soon as I stopped taking them, all those symptoms completely stopped! Hang in there ❤

[@SuperMontagner]

I’ve had two babies and felt terrible with both. It isn’t spoken about enough.

[@alexandraaskew6622]

Thank you so much for your raw honesty my love. It's so helpful and refreshing. Wishing you all the best xxx

[@amysettle85]

I have depression and when I was pregnant it was worse but the statistics have shown those of us that have had depression through our pregnancy are more prone to post partaum depression so please please keep a very close eye out for that. Notice if you start to cry for no reason or feel sad for no reason and reach out to your mom or a friend it's ok to get someone to take baby for a couple hrs to give u a break. It's ok as long as baby is safe to sit baby in their crib with nothing in it to go in another room for a couple of minutes don't allow anyone to tell u different

[@cheryaltry5346]

I don't know what's worse pregnancy depression or menstrual periods depression

[@sehryn]

My first pregnancy first trimester was a breeze. I had energy and felt well in every way. But the second pregnancy was absolutely overwhelming till after the 4th month. I couldn’t stand at all from very early on until almost 20 weeks. In the afternoon I’d manage to crawl from my bed to the lounge for about 10 minutes, but felt I would collapse any moment so slowly crawled back to bed. I could have only one glass of fresh juice and 6 fresh oysters a day. I’d been a healthy eater of a plant based diet, but during that second pregnancy I couldn’t tolerate the smell of salad veggies and that lasted until after the birth. Once my baby was born my diet thankfully went back to normal. Pregnancy is unpredictable, but worth it in the end if you can hang on through the bad times 🥰

[@arlascott]

Hiya, I thought you weren’t suppose to have oysters during pregnancy?? Especially not 6 a day🤯

[@arlascott]

Hiya, I thought you weren’t suppose to have fresh oysters during pregnancy?? Especially not 6 a day🤯

[@sehryn]

@@arlascott well it was the 70s - before microplastics and toxic polluted waterways. I’m Australian and the oysters were fresh from clean cold southern Australian waters. I wouldn’t recommend anyone eat oysters while pregnant these days 😳

[@MinimumViablePicnic]

Hey, yeah, kindof similar experience as someone who had chronic illness in the past, however, I don't think it's 100% that, I think it's alao a mix of expectations being so high and reality being so crap. 1st trimester is horrible!

[@somethingsmatter]

As a foster parent are you allowed to let your mom look after the foster children?

[@rebekah3483]

I hate that you weren't fully prepared for the hardships of the 1st trimester. I've heard of a few people not feeling ill in the 1st trimester but only a few and I don't personally know of anyone that has been that fortunate! I am glad you stuck it through (since you're now happy to be pregnant) and gave yourself the ability to see if the medication had any role in the depression earlier on. I can't believe you're already past half way through! Now that we're all caught up I'll be anxiously awaiting the next video! Congratulations again Bryony!

[@georgiesmith966]

If your taking pregnacare supplements they are known for making nausea really bad. Try just taking separate folic acid and vitamin d hopefully that will help

[@JMPschool1]

For anyone who suffers with nausea please try the Upspring Stomach Settle Relief Drops. I don't work for them but I've suffered with nausea since I was little and now have terrible anxiety if I even think I'm feeling off and of course serious emetophobia and I've tried ALL the things lol I'm telling you these drops always get me through. ✌️&❤️

[@louisa9374]

It's very admirable that you've continued with pregnancy when struggling with these thoughts! I had a little girl in July and have struggled with postpartum depression since, it's super sad how these issues can really effect how our pregnancy/parenthood journey feel.... However I highly recommend doing a Hypnobirthing course to deal with any anxiety and really prepare you to know your birth rights and how amazing our bodies are during labour!!! I did a course and it definitely impact my daughter's birthday soooo positively !!!!

[@sojabursche]

An extra long “cold” even if negative Tests was probably COVID, also because you say you are more tired now and it seems to not have went away and seems to have been gotten more when you exercise and being out of breath from doing nothing For me after COVID I was also more tired all the time, and couldn’t sleep, also I had nightmares, If you still feel tired what worked for me was to just do nothing for 6 weeks, yes it’s excruciatingly boring but after that the tiredness seemed to have stopped for me and studies show that it’s like that for others as well. Getting a COVID booster shot can also help with long COVID and persisting fatigue. just so you know and can be aware you might now have higher risk of blood clots with pregnancy and all And they don’t like to prescribe anti nausea medication during pregnancy because they don’t like to prescribe any medication to pregnant people, after what happened with contergan and other medication

[@Zara-ib9xb]

💙💙💙

[@MsFweet]

Aw, so sorry you had such a hard time. I wanted to give you a big hug. They needed two you the realities of pregnancy! All i knew about it was morning sickness and needing to pee. I think it's cos we are made to feel like we can't complain because "we got ourselves into it" 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 which yes we did but that doesn't stop us from feeling like a garbage truck had just run over our insides!

[@mirandarudzki]

In my experience Metoclopramide is a horrible drug, especially for young women. It caused me to have a severe and terrifying muscle reaction in my neck & eyes when I was about 19 years old.

[@SoulxSpectre]

Tsk, sorry you had gp's telling you to just muscle through, that isn't their job. Anyone who says just deal with it has obviously never been on the brink of projectile voms night and day for days and weeks on end , which is bad enough when you're able to just rest but if you have the demand of little ones already or work or something then oh boy. Thinking of you, and happy your meds are working a bit x

[@oceana3070]

This! It’s really not on anyone - doctors, other Mums, mothers in law - to tell anyone just to roll with it. There’s hollow comfort in the ‘it’s normal’ or ‘it’ll be worth it’ or ‘it can’t last forever’ platitudes when you are so ill with no reprieve to the point you’d consider termination or harming yourself. Most people in this comment section seem to get it, but I’ve read a few comments saying she should’ve just been more positive, or practiced mindfulness or just accept it as part of pregnancy. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@caroldobbin7558]

Keep your chin up sweety X

[@beckytownsend1839]

I think it’s really great you chose to share your thoughts on termination. I had an awful first trimester this time round, I was questioning if I could continue on up until a couple weeks back and I’m 21 weeks! It’s so unfair that the people who want to be pregnant the most often have the worst symptoms 😔

[@tvmom]

I remember sitting at the dr office 35 years ago so sick with nausea I had lost 40 lbs in the first trimester and he grabbed my thigh and said it wouldn’t hurt me to lose weight. I feel your pain.

[@nikki9278]

Yeah totally agree about the chronic illness thing. I’m not pregnant and haven’t been but really worry about what will happen if I do because I get pain flare ups in my knee, back and knee which would all make pregnancy and raising a baby\child quite difficult. But at least other people can help with the child, you can’t take a break from pregnancy.

[@ashliewalston3561]

Depression definitely is worse ehen you are low on vitamin B12. To bad your doctor didn't suggest that. Ot even st. Johns wort. Both helped tremendously with depression

[@brilliantbutblue]

Your vlog mirrored my First pregnancy 31yrs ago!! I would have got rid of that baby if l could of for what it did to my body. Your brutal honesty is so important. THANKYOU for sharing 😊

[@ankra12]

Anxiety and pregnancy is not a good mix.

[@justathumb]

im so so glad you got through it ❤️ (as someone who has very recently struggled tremendously with VERY unexpected postpartum depression) - imagine if you killed your littles because you were feeling sick and it was very hard work - it's utterly unconscionable! but i totally understand the lack of perspective when you're in the thick of it. i think we can tend to get the impression that depressive episodes are just brain chemistry anomalies, but in actuality can be a very understandable reaction to being under immense physical and mental pressure. the difficulties of pregnancy and newborn care i feel are so underestimated. hang in there mate!

[@carlyrowland1640]

It's funny as I went through the same symptoms as you however I just rolled with it. I excepted I'm growing a baby and if I need to rest, I need to rest. My sickness was horrendous even with anti sickness. Constantly sick. I didn't fancy food and couldn't keep water down etc. Sometimes as hard as pregnancy can be, it's how we look at it that makes a difference also. It's temporary and doesn't last forever and you will have something so beautiful at the end. Mindfulness has helped me massively. I feel low also but I rest or go for a swim or just lay on the sofa, whatever I feel. If I need to cry, I cry and I laugh about it after as I recognise its hormones and it only last a little while. Its a journey and journeys never go as we plan and that's OK. Roll with it. I hope this helps

[@oceana3070]

This comes off as quite dismissive of others’ experiences and holier than thou tbh. It’s great that your experience wasn’t bad enough to make you question everything, and that mindfulness and ‘rolling with it’ was useful. That’s certainly not true for everyone.

[@MinimumViablePicnic]

Also I had a friend who had "no pregnancy symptoms" e.g. morning sickness and she was really upset about it! So there you are x

[@crazymumlife8735]

These episodes are so chopped up. Concidering your way way further along now