first week after having a baby - depression, body changes, and pooping

Captions by Anita: [e-mail]

[@BabsBeauty]

I really appreciate you being so candid about your postpartum experience. I am feeling the pressure of deciding whether I want to have kids & being that I have depression & anxiety like you, it’s helpful to hear a real raw experience from someone who has similar struggles to myself.

[@tonyasullivan1164]

What up girl nice seeing you over here lol love your channel too

[@BabsBeauty]

@@tonyasullivan1164 hey girl 😁

[@elizabethdee7590]

Sorry that you're feeling that pressure, I hope it abates and you are able to make the best choice for yourself without basing that choice on the pressures you are feeling

[@nadiariggs5110]

I have depression and anxiety, and I have two kiddos 💕. My best advice - take the meds. If you need them, TAKE them. I didn’t for too long after my first, and it took a toll not only on me, but on all of my relationships. Sending you hugs!

[@Gorditavont33se]

Fancy seeing you here @babsbeauty! I am literally in the EXACT same boat right now. 😘

[@kaylanicolson]

Honestly so true when you said, “the first 24 hours you’re just literally getting acclimated to still being alive after having gone through labour.” That’s exactly how it felt for me; couldn’t have said it better 😅

[@DanielleNicoleMakeup]

Amen!!! Omg felt that in my soul! I honestly thought I was gonna die during labor and 2 mths to heal was rough while being a new mama

[@maggierobertson2962]

I think we should replace "just you wait" with "my experience was." We should be able to share our highs and lows both for personal catharsis and to help newer parents, but experiences vary and THATS OKAY!

[@lindseyduncan5097]

This!!!!! I have a three week old and I find the “just you waits” … well we don’t have time for that rant. I agree 100% with this

[@maggierobertson2962]

@@lindseyduncan5097 Congrats on your snuggly potato! My littlest is 9 months (and awesome) but I miss those tiny snuggles. But TBH I don't miss those middle of the night feeding sessions. I guess ever age has its pro and cons.

[@dora876]

Nah that’s not in your circle of control. Your feelings are. Don’t let other people’s word choice bother you

[@Afloyd1989]

I hate when people say “just you wait”. A lot of things that people told me would happen during pregnancy or with my baby never happened and some things happened that nobody told me about. Everybody experiences things differently, it’s not a one size fits all. I was the first of my friends to get pregnant and now I tell all of them just to take it one day at a time when they ask for advice.

[@darianalexi]

I noticed my scent was stronger postpartum than it had ever been in my life. It was extremely bothersome until I found out that our bodies do this for the baby. Your scent is strong so your baby can smell/find you more easily.

[@ipenky]

I felt like someone else's sweat was on my skin.

[@smilelikethes]

My boyfriends mom told me, “I didn’t feel that instant love, that everyone said I would feel.. so if you don’t feel it either. Don’t feel guilty.. the love and connection will come” and I’m not even pregnant.. but the fact that she’s telling me and that she is so honest about it❤️ is so sweet❤️

[@a.beaverhausen1140]

Can totally relate. Did not feel that instant love & connection. They asked me if I wanted to hold her and NO, I didn't. I was exhausted, in a ton of pain, and frankly just wanted to sleep. All that crap you see in the movies is not everyone's experience.

[@ashleymarieeee]

I was exactly the same. Didn’t feel it with either child. The first time I felt guilty, the second I handed the baby to my husband and took a nap lol.

[@intothedermis]

She's a good mum. I had a similar experience xx

[@jacquelinerodriguez6333]

I remember feeling so guilty for not having that instant love feeling for my oldest. I almost felt some kind of resentment because it is so difficult in the beginning. The love and connection does come with time.

[@stardewkitten]

Fantastic mother-in-laws make the world go round. My MIL is my rock, I’m so excited to give her a grand baby in the (not so near) future!

[@kyeluh]

I’m pregnant with my first and appreciate these videos from you SO much.

[@MarissaRenee211]

Congratulations!

[@lissaMJH]

Aaah I love you so much! Congratulations on your little bundle of perfect!

[@thislittlethingcalledlifea8586]

Congratulations to you and your sweet little peanut! I remember how nervous I was with my first 18 years ago and now I’m a mom of 5 lol. (Last pregnancy we were surprised with twins) With my first I had anxiety and felt a lot like Sam but got through it. Each woman has a different experience. Ask as many questions you need but find what works best for YOU and your precious baby. Don’t let anyone make you feel like what you are comfortable doing is “wrong.” Trust your mommy sense and intuition. Praying for a healthy you and baby!

[@a468291]

Congratulations! Its a wild ride 🥰

[@sharonlee2998]

Congratulations xx

[@ElsaRhae]

Would love more mom talk.

[@heatherrae901]

Same

[@SILzimb]

There is a reason that in “ancient, tribal” cultures older experienced woman surrounded young mothers to support and guide. What I don’t understand why this western culture of ours has been stuck in this system for decades.

[@alycat9186]

Exactly!!! I think that having Google has separated this need even further bc you can pretty much look everything up. And now there are women like Samantha sharing about their experiences so I feel like that also replaces having experienced older women around.

[@kandirain_1172]

I think the thing I felt the most for my 1st born after birth, was fear. For about a week, I was just watching to make sure he didn't die. I felt so unworthy that I felt like God would take him from me for his own good. But, at some point he put his little, big hand on my face 😂 and that was it. I couldn't love a human more if I tried. Now, he turned 18 on 10/1 and I look at his lanky 6'4 frame and I still think of him as that baby. I'm getting emotional 😭

[@gabriellagulyas3778]

Such a lovely story i love this ❤️❤️

[@kelseyboulos7955]

I'd love to hear you and Matt talk about his experience as well

[@steviebyers3161]

100% in support of this video idea

[@justinec1707]

yeeeeeeeeessssssssssssss if/when he's comfortable

[@makenziskellenger6308]

Yess!

[@PacificMidwest]

Yes! He needs to give everyone out there advice about how to be a good supportive postpartum partner.

[@orfaelia3636]

true! would love to hear it from a man's perspective too!

[@MariahLeonard]

HARD YES ABOUT THE UNIQUE PAIN OF BREASTFEEDING LOL. Like, why the ~*fuck*~ does it feel like a small vacuum of McDonalds Sprite.

[@morgan5923]

•fights urge to punch the tiny face every time it latches on• Eventually I was like “Y’all, my nipples are like thumbnails now. I can go to war with these bitches.” I totally understand why some people go straight to formula. I was cheap and fortunate enough to have the means to moo and ruminate; not without guilt, shame, and a sense that I couldn’t produce enough.

[@aprilgurr2526]

Hahaha that is the most accurate description ever, I never felt I could ever describe it correctly, but will be forever using this. Thank you.

[@kristysimon1866]

LOL this is so spot on

[@katherob]

In addition to once reading someone describe a c-section feeling like "someone washing dishes in your stomach", this is one of those descriptions that I will always remember and can feel despite never going through that experience haha. I've always thought breastfeeding would be cool to experience but now I'm thinking... maybe not.

[@mallowhawk294]

I'm thankful I don't understand this, more power to everyone who does, sounds very uncomfortable

[@Taylor-Swift-2]

I had my baby at 21, was cheated on while I was in the hospital and ive been a lone parent for the last 9 years. Thanks for mentioning us single parents. It always makes me feel seen. I appreciate your honesty here. Thanks for the raw information and experience shared here it really makes a huge difference in how we as a society talk about these things. Sending so much love to you and your family!!

[@mariansmartt]

I’m so sorry that your partner cheated on you at that incredibly vulnerable time. How awful. Bless you for being so strong to parent your child alone.

[@lvaz1248]

Oh man Jules that just makes my blood boil! When you needed your partner the most. I hope you and your child are happy and doing well.

[@itsmochicakes]

This is so scarily the same as my own story! I had my daughter at 20, was in a terribly abusive relationship and became a single mother 9 years ago too. Also good on you for being strong enough to walk away, all of us single Mama's have got this girl 🤍🤍

[@nicky25294]

I feel you girl happened to me had my mum come to tell me in hospital but we Did it alone 🙏🏻

[@Taylor-Swift-2]

@@nicky25294 so proud of you 👏 ❤ sending all my love!

[@lipstickcats2047]

It's parents like you who were honest about the realities of pregnancy and parenting that helped me realize I legitimately would not be a good or successful parent. Thank you for everything you're doing to bring awareness to the realities of this situation. You're not just preparing future parents, you're helping people realize this is not the path for them *before* a brand new person is conceived and born. Blessings to you and your family as you grow through the years 💚

[@jenevarider3316]

THIS!!!!!! I 100000% support people who experience motherhood, because it’s hard as hell, but also solidifies for me that being childfree is the correct choice for my life.

[@KaylasPlants]

@@jenevarider3316 I wish I had more things out there to warn me of childbirth and motherhood. I feel no one is ever truly prepared for creating a life you just figure it out as you go and it is hard as heck. Depressing most days. It sucks though because we shake ourselves for these feelings even though they are completely normal. It’s ok to not have kids. Never feel pressured! 💚💚💚

[@StealingSunsets]

I think it’s amazing that you have the foresight and understanding of yourself, your goals and limitations that you can make this decision for yourself. Blessings to you and your child-free family through the years ♥️

[@jenevarider3316]

@@KaylasPlants Mothers need SO much more support and education than what they are receiving right now. It still baffles and infuriates me that in the US there’s still so few resources available.

[@jenevarider3316]

@@StealingSunsets thank you so much 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@aloragrainger]

I truly don’t understand how our parents & grandparents gave birth and took care of newborns without the power of google .

[@starfallow8607]

Why else do you think our parents and grandparents are so messed up??? lol I’m just kidding

[@aloragrainger]

@@starfallow8607 hahaha no but actually . Also if i didnt have my phone for entertainment during night feeds i really dont think i could stay awake.

[@iloveicecream127]

@@aloragrainger in the past people lived in smaller communities and were much more personally connected with neighbors and extended families/relatives. People took care of other people's kids without being asked to. And a lot of cultures lived with the extended family members so grandparents are usually just there to help and teach new moms. This is still true for a lot cultures. Western culture is much more individualistic in this sense.

[@aloragrainger]

@@iloveicecream127 I get that, and I was exaggerating a tad. Different times obviously had different ways to cope with things. Just knowing how often I google “is _____ normal?” In a day, I couldn’t live without google lol

[@iloveicecream127]

@@aloragrainger oh yeah totally lol. Much bigger pool of people to ask questions. Pros and cons to everything i guess haha.

[@noellewright2470]

I would literally break out in a cold sweat when I'd hear my baby's 'hungry sounds' because I knew how much it was going to hurt. And then finally, one day it just didn't anymore. But you're so right -- nobody tells you these things! Thank you for your honesty.

[@amordiaz2489]

I shared my postpartum experience with my coworkers who don’t have children & they were SHOCKED

[@morgan5923]

I’m going to hell for this: I loved my first born when she first arrived and I felt like I invested so much time in her that I HAD to keep her alive and feel some love for her but everything was so one sided that I just felt used and unappreciated. That with the lack of sleep and stress and inability to adjust to change and this tiny pathetic larva yelling in my face every 2 hours and inability to relax enough to sleep instead of staring, making she didn’t suffocate or choke or have SIDS (not to mention breast feeding anxiety and “will I even produce enough” just broke me down. I didn’t actually LIKE my first born initially. The love was just out of duty. I didn’t actually like her for about 3 weeks. The change: she smiled. I mean, it was gas, but I was willing to take whatever I could get at that point. I just feel like nobody ever actually says there’s not always an immediate bond and you have to work on it and just give it time. I don’t know if it was postpartum depression but I didn’t have any urge to shake my little larva until she was quiet or anything. I guess my point is I wish people would have told me “you won’t like the baby immediately but really, you’re not a terrible person. It’s just a one sided relationship for a while, everything will be okay.” If people don’t experience this then they are fortunate, but my point for new moms is, “it will be okay.”

[@delanijoubert3939]

My larva 🤣🤣 So much yes to this comment!! I felt so guilty for not having that immediate overwhelming love. Thank you for your honesty ❤️

[@imjustanasshlesometimes3488]

Thank you for this. My son just turned a month... and the first week was spent in the NICU. I feel *exactly* like this... but haven't expressed it out loud. Women definitely need to know this is ok.

[@morgan5923]

@@imjustanasshlesometimes3488 I’m glad that he was released. It must have been extra hard for you if he was in NICU and we were mid apocalypse. Hopefully your loved ones were supportive and able to help you through the unrequited periods. Sometimes “It will get better” isn’t enough and “This is common” is what needs to be heard.

[@melissam7379]

Yuppppppp. My first (who’s 15 now) was in the NICU so I didn’t get that initial bonding experience with her and very much didn’t like her for the first 3 years of her life. I DESPISE toddlers and it was no different when it was my own. I had no desire to breastfeed and have this annoying little shit constantly clinging to me and demanding to fed when they felt like it. I enjoyed being able to sleep at night while my husband did a night feeding. My daughter also didn’t sleep for the first 3 years of her life and never (and i mean NEVER napped) so there was that but now we know it’s because she has ADD and a developmental delay. Thank god I had my mom, grandma and husband to help me because idk if me or my daughter would’ve survived lol. Congratulations to all of us moms who get through it

[@hilarygarstang5066]

@@melissam7379 3 years is a long time...how did you decide to have more kids after that?

[@TheBerryPurple]

Please don’t ever stop talking about this, so many of us appreciate you’re honesty immensely! ♥️ also: screw the person who said you would be a bad parent 🙄

[@katlynnwilliams6332]

You’re amazing. I feel like as women, we’ve been taught and trained to portray every aspect of femininity as so glamorous and beautiful and making us stronger but at the end of the day, a lot of it sucks… and I really appreciate you keeping everything so real because this is actually what pregnant women, new moms, or any women needs to hear. Not everything is rainbows and sunshine and you shouldn’t have to feel like voicing your distress or sadness or concern is immediately going to be chalked up to “baby blues” or post partum depression. Sometimes thing just suck because they suck and that’s okay.

[@tove_sofie2388]

I had an absolutely horrific birth/ post partum situation...and I am cry-laughing at the honesty and accuracy of these videos. Healing my soul ❤

[@elmy026]

You saying, “until fuckin’ next time” as the word “bonjour” floated on your computer screen over your shoulder made me laugh way harder than expected.

[@lindsayp8131]

The "just you wait" comments are RELENTLESS and so rude. Someone told me my baby wouldn't be this cute forever and just wait for a few months from now...like...thank you? What a rude thing to say. Every stage has its challenges and lovely moments. I won't stop enjoying my child when they become a toddler thank you very much.

[@deejawhitegrass]

Weird, I think babies only get cuter over time…until they learn to talk back 😂

[@hanr7488]

In my opinion, it seems like those people don’t have a personality outside of being a parent. Like ok, I get that you’re bitter about whatever, but you’re a) projecting and b) gatekeeping when you say things like “just you wait, you’re not a real mom until x!” Like bite me

[@meganhardwick1598]

Wtf who thinks they have the right to predict the cute level of your child at any age?????? What an asshole.

[@msi8311]

Those are the people I tell “I guess for you the hardest part of the fucking business is minding your own”

[@michelle-fn5jm]

I so appreciate that this video came up on my recommended, I could cry. I’m currently pregnant unexpectedly and my family has been very hard on me. It’s been hard to feel connected or loving towards the baby inside me and I’ve had no one to talk to, no one to tell me if I’m evil for that or not. Thank you so much for talking about these things. People glamorize pregnancy and becoming a mother so much more than they share the realness behind it.

[@angielott83]

I hope you’re doing better than when you made your comment ❤️

[@thaterinb245]

I remember sitting on my 8 day old son’s bedroom floor with him just sobbing saying “I can’t do this. What have I done?!” The postpartum experience is by far the trippiest thing I have ever experienced. It’s horrifying, beautiful, awful, and wonderful. A real clusterfuck 😂

[@kw1535]

This is one of my biggest fears of having a child. I know it’s temporary, but that feeling has to feel SO real and permanent at the moment

[@thaterinb245]

@@kw1535 it feels like it will last forever but in reality it’s a short lived phase! I’d do it over again a million times to end up with my four all over again ❤️

[@kristinj6298]

TRUTH. I sobbed in the shower, having decided that my son would never love me. Postpartum hormones are the aboslute worst.

[@madisonbaxter9906]

I’m pregnant rn, it’s my first baby and it’s been pretty rough. I was tempted to not watch this video because I didn’t want it to make me feel negative or give me anxiety about postpartum, but this was probably one of my favorite videos of yours. Thank you for this ❤️ it’s nice to see you so genuinely happy 😃

[@carlyriley4144]

It’s so crazy, I used to deal with SEVERE depression before I had my son(who’s now almost 7.) And having him almost made me not have time to even think about me being depressed or sad.. and I haven’t really dealt with the same kind of depressive episodes I used to have, since after I had him. I mean obviously yes, I still get sad, or have rough days or even a week here and there.. but I think the purpose that becoming a parent gave me, in my life, has changed me forever within my mind, body, and soul! 💜🙏🏻

[@Darian--]

Here's to hoping!

[@davereynolds78]

I watched this whole video. I think you're just fuckin' great. My gf loves your channel. Not really into makeup of course, but this real life shit is what's up. Good job.

[@Lauren-lawless]

✊✊✊

[@SarahFernandezPlus]

It's wild how fast your brain switches to "my baby is the most important thing and I have nothing else in my life to talk about," even if you don't want it to be that way. Your life recenters for a while, and that's all good!

[@Abrichens]

Yes this is soooo true!!

[@emilymcbee653]

Maybe it's the brains way of getting you ready to make you wrap your life around someone besides yourself to make sure they don't die.

[@j0slyn1]

The fact that you touched on not feeling that connection made me cry I went to therapy thinking there was something wrong with me and the mum guilt I felt because I wasn’t doing the “right” thing by feeling that . I mean yes postpartum depression was a thing for me but it’s something you have to learn like ANY relationship . This babe just came out your body … you’ve never met … yes you carried them and you can physically feel that connection but it’s sooooooo different once they are earth side . So so so different and I wish someone had told me before that feeling that way was okay and more often than not the case . It’s not a movie .. this is real life . Love you Sam !

[@heatheroneill3479]

I’m a mama of 2, now ages 26 & 22. I LOVE being a mom, wouldn’t trade it for the world as it has been the most fulfilling, rewarding experience of my life. For the first year or so though, I just didn’t feel like I “fit“. I was never a confident, glowing, healthy feeling pregnant woman & I had terrible postpartum depression. In the 90s, mental health just wasn’t as spoken about or taken quite as seriously as it is starting to be now. I almost felt like a fraud because I felt I had to put on a smile but I also felt like I was breaking inside. Just because something is slightly more spoken about or slightly more accepted in society doesn’t mean it’s any easier to go through though. In my experience, I started to feel more “myself“ after about a year but that was a VERY TOUGH year! I wish you & every single new mama out there all my best. Please know that even though it sometimes might not feel like it, there is support out here. There are so many people who DO want you & your baby to thrive & succeed. There are many people who DO have your back. You can & you WILL get through all the ups & downs. I have so much faith & confidence in you ❤️💚💙

[@gigi2k326]

The 90's was a rough time for ppd! The only advice was to suck it up!

[@kathrynhamilton860]

Congrats on making it through that despite your mh not being taken seriously!!

[@lorenaemerson4825]

Same Heather! My kids are 26, 21 and 17. I didn't even know I had PPD until I came out of the haze 6 months after I had my first child. No one said anything about it. I was very aware of how I felt with the second two, though. And made sure I asked for help if I needed it.

[@ghost.girlfriend]

As someone 11 days postpartum with my first I have found so much appreciation for your honesty in these videos. After the first 24 hours home I was mentally and physically in such a crazy place and struggling. I could find a million answers to any questions I googled but none of them were very honest, they were all just overwhelmingly optimistic "it's all worth it for your baby, right?" And I feel so judged and invalid for just about everything I'm doing and going through. Your experience and mine have a lot of parallels and I'm happy to see that just because I'm struggling doesn't mean I'm a bad parent. My fiance is also feeling very validated by the fact that he's not head over heels in love with our baby yet also. Thank you for sharing your experiences, throughout the years you've never let me down. And can I just say... Immaculate timing. Chef's kiss for you sharing this right when I have a baby. Absolute goddess of realism and discontinued makeup. 🖤

[@hayleyr9060]

Nobody talks about what happens afterwards. When I had my first I spent pretty much 2 weeks just permanently horrified by all the new discoveries. Why aren’t we told! That bit lasts way longer than the L&D. People need to know. It would be 100% better if we just knew.

[@DanielleNicoleMakeup]

Also I feel like nobody, including the doctors, give 2 shits about the mom after birth. Don't get me wrong prioritize the baby but can we ALSO care about the mom's physical and mental state after your body going through absolute hell. Also I wish I would've known that it takes 2 mths to heal afterwards while you are taking care of someone new. Love my daughter more than life itself, but it doesn't mean post pardum doesn't exist as well

[@kalishajnz]

Exactly!! I wish someone had told me that milk would shoot from my breasts, lol.

[@DanielleNicoleMakeup]

@@kalishajnz or that my breasts would blow up like cement blocks and hurt 🤣

[@kalishajnz]

@@DanielleNicoleMakeup 🤣🤣

[@callmedeborah1]

This is the first video I’ve ever watched of you. However, this is the most healthy outlook on pregnancy, postpartum and mental health that I’ve seen from a woman going through this stage of life. Keep it up

[@loniebrown351]

As someone that doesn’t have kids and doesn’t want them, I still stan for these videos. It makes me so empathetic to my friends or people around me. I’ve learned so much from you and Kristi that makes me more understanding, while being in awe of people that give birth. I truly appreciate that you have always been honest and candid about so many things and I’m telling you, you have taught me sooo much over the years of following you 🤍

[@steviebyers3161]

💯

[@Visibletoallusersonyoutube719]

Really, really, really great point!

[@meganapple8805]

me too!! I feel just an interested and investing in these videos/journey as I would if i planned on having a baby :)

[@vickytime3855]

Same!

[@rebeccavendela]

Same

[@charlottelast2278]

“It was at that point I realized how truly disgusting I was...I was a trash bag” Oh my goodness that was exactly how I felt when I saw myself in a mirror after birth. The image still haunts me 😂

[@NicholtheJournalist]

This makes me so sad! After every one of my babies, I felt like a warrior

[@charlottelast2278]

@@NicholtheJournalist I wish. I was a hot & sweaty mess. I felt like the devil himself beat the shit out of me but by some miracle I still had a pulse. But I’m pregnant again so I guess it’s round two now lol

[@elizabethepp9507]

@@charlottelast2278 oh God. Good luck!

[@LD-gk5pr]

Same !!

[@warriorthu]

I burst a lot of blood vessels in my face during labor, so I really looked like I had some sort of plague. And this was summer 2020.

[@melissamorris399]

Please don’t stop talking about this stuff. So many people need to hear this. I wish whole heartedly that I had a person like you around when I was young and pregnant. Thank you for being so authentic and sharing.

[@ritaalves1064]

If I was your parent or your husband I'd be so freaking proud. The wisdom. Shit hits deep. (Btw 36 weeks and 4 days here and thanks for the actual raw experience)

[@zillamandy]

Sam! I took my son out to dinner tonight, he turned 21 last week. But if you see this, or anyone else sees it, I just need to say out loud how amazing you are. You’re gorgeous inside and out, you obviously adore your baby, but you’re honest. My birthing experience was not easy, & after one week of pumping I burst into tears at the pediatrician appointment and went to formula. I had my reasons, but the way you just looked at the camera and said if you really don’t love or feel committed to breast-feeding, it’s OK to quit? I wish more people had said that to me. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, being a mom. But also the hardest. In many ways. I appreciate your honesty, and also, your body is amazing. I know that’s shallow, but Jesus. 😩❤️ And so many young mothers who admire you will benefit from this honesty! I’m so impressed by you.

[@MaliiSaiidWhaa]

I don’t have children and don’t see myself ever having them, buttt I love watching videos like these from my favs because it helps validate what my friends who either just had babies or are preggo atm feelings. I always show them these videos and they really appreciate it.

[@judijanoudi]

I love the raw real humor you bring to your story. I’m due in two months and I’m so scared and watching this was both both realistic and comedic relief. Love your mom videos they are realistic and helpful. Please keep it up!

[@fairliefricke]

For me, postpartum was hands down the hardest part for all three.... breastfeeding, leaking, exhaustion..... I was a mess but would do it again in a heartbeat. My body was never the same again and that's perfect for me; I love my body and all the extra because it nurtured and carried my beautiful children. I wish you were around 22 years ago when I was first postpartum.... this video could possibly be the best you have ever made..... and I have watched a lot of them. Thank you doesn't seem like enough xo

[@allisonmarie2647]

I feel like I’m seeing a really good therapist every time I watch your videos. You are really smart and strong & I really look up to you as a human being. You just seem like you’re the coolest

[@lindseyduncan5097]

“Get acclimated to still being alive somehow” haha I feel that so hard. I have a 3.5 week old… it’s still really real for me. Im just getting over having a hard time seeing really pregnant women and thinking “oh you’re about to go through some shit” and then cry for them and for me

[@mykayuuki]

The things you said resonate with me so much. I hate how people keep saying "just you wait" when you say you'll be fine, I hate how they say "everything will be unicorns and sunshine" as if you aren't allowed to feel bad or tired or insecure, I hate how everyone knows everything better, I hate how they only keep talking about insignificant things that's there in every single article online, but no one answers the real questions. I hate how people talk about "losing the baby belly" when our bodies are CONSTANTLY changing with or without being pregnant. 9 months passed, your body would look different anyways even if you didn't grow a human being in it. I'm going to give birth to my first baby in 3 weeks, after being treated with infertility for 9 years. I'm 37 now, kinda terrified, I know it will be hard but I'll do my best to survive. I wish you the best and thank you for this video!

[@lindsaywilkerson3114]

Awww all of my love and best wishes to you and your sweet new baby to be! 9 years of trying is so wild! So happy for you ❤️❤️❤️

[@marimarimar]

As someone who isn’t particularly interested in having kids I love hearing your experience so much ! I just generally love your humor and the way you express yourself and I’ve just learned so much. You’re an incredible person and I feel like sharing these feelings that are different to what people “say or expect you should be feeling” is so important 🖤 ily queen

[@stardewkitten]

Once again, here I am commenting about being a student nurse, but I have such a passion and drive for OB/GYN care and helping moms and babies postpartum that I can’t help but try and put my two cents in to hopefully benefit someone. Being ambivalent to your baby during the first majority of pregnancy is a COMPLETELY NORMAL AND VALID FEELING! Sam you talked about it in such a great way- you don’t feel that bond until later when you can actually feel what’s going on (and baby is constantly punching you in the bladder). As providers, our goal is not only to make sure you’re on track physically growing a human, but emotionally too (of course, like everything this is unfortunately dependent on resources/staffing). My OB course was great in that it had a huge section on mental health both ante- and postpartum, and they were big on teaching us that it’s completely normal for mom’s to feel neutral at first. Thank you for sharing your reflection on your journey into FEELING like a mom Sam, I’m positive that this will help a ton of people and you made great points! Wishing you and lil peanut all the goodness in the world. 💖

[@mahevawilson645]

Hey I had twins when I was 19years old and they are now 19years old themselves. Being à mum is the hardest and the best thing in the world. So happy for you xoxoxo

[@chillith926]

I'm hearing a lot of information I've NEVER heard before and I'm in my late 20s. thank you for being so honest and thorough.

[@cassieeees]

The first week was such a blur of intense emotions, confusion and anxiety for me. There needs to be a mandatory postpartum educator at the hospital before discharge.

[@kristinj6298]

That is genius!

[@kathleenhochstatter822]

When I had my baby I literally said so many times, how does anyone talk about anything else??? Glad you feel the same. Love these. Keep sharing.

[@yeneka713]

I never had any of my four kids put on my chest directly after their births. That precious first hour was for me and my husband to just be together and process everything that we just went through and accomplished. I just wanted the medical team to focus on the baby and me, and i needed that time to decompress from the trauma and work of childbirth. Also i had no desire to have all the bodily fluids and yuck all over me. Also, while our local hospital policy was to have new mothers stay for 24 hours after the birth, i had complications each time that led to me having to stay for a few days. I treasured this each time. I really found value and comfort in having the nursing staff close by, for the reasons you mentioned, but also for the specific companionship and support. My husband is truly wonderful, but helping me directly after birth is a bit outside of his wheelhouse (though he tried each time like a knight in shining armor). I always felt a bit sad and apprehensive leaving the hospital.

[@desseray81]

I truly appreciate your transparency, I feel like people glamorize this experience or just don’t talk enough about it. I’m so happy I found your channel!

[@kathrynleedoggett9822]

“I guess I’m gonna go research fuckin wake windows now” Relatable. I agree 1000% that postpartum is dis-serviced. In America there is only 1 appointment postpartum and then nothing. Not enough support is provided! Love your shirt

[@Jayceeangelloslawson]

I cackled when she said that 😂

[@katiedemski2419]

Please keep talking about it!! We’re the same age. And I’ve thought for most of my 20s that because of my mental health I wouldn’t be able to handle pregnancy/motherhood. Seeing you on this journey has given me so much hope

[@Doseofa]

Me

[@daniellelewis9899]

I wish this content was on the internet 6 years ago after my first child. These videos need to exist and thank you Sam for putting this out there.

[@Mary-em3cb]

I’m so glad I found your video! I’m 9 weeks postpartum with my first baby and I wish I would have watched this before I gave birth. But I love that you made this and I wholly identify with everything you say! Thank you for sharing your story❤ and hugs!

[@user-bq7vu1qq6b]

I know this might be insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but could you talk about how introducing your puppers to your baby went, and how your dogs are getting along with the beb?

[@VassoulaBlackKitty]

That would be indeed very interesting!

[@theirmanager5204]

Yes please, this!

[@orfaelia3636]

yes pls!!

[@theesweetie23ca91]

This is NOT insignificant at all. This is one of my biggest fears, I’m 12 weeks pregnant now and I think about this often. I hear so many times that often new parents end up surrendering their pets because they can’t handle the baby and the dogs and that breaks my heart. We would never do that, so I’m definitely going to be doing tons of research on how to get them used to the idea and help us all ease the baby into our family 💛

[@twintorials2462]

@@theesweetie23ca91 I had two large dogs when I had my daughter, they were gentle with her but they did whine like there was a squirrel in the house for a couple of days (i was ready to kick them out LOL). They adjusted well after that, I put her in her crib and let them sniff her for a while. Not sure how helpful this is, but best of luck! Motherhood is a crazy, beautiful journey.

[@Mimilove0214]

Thank you, THANK YOU! I can’t say it enough. Thank you for being so honest. Everyone has their own experience but to be honest about it is truly eye opening and helping moms feel like they are NOT ALONE! You are right there is so much info about labor and not enough on postpartum! I did not know I wasn’t going to be able to sit comfortably for a couple of weeks, I never saw anyone talk about it. All I would see is pics and videos of women sitting up right and walking around the first 24 hours. It made me feel like I was alone. Anyway thank you for touching base on everything you talked about. I also did not feel a bond with my baby at first to the point where I didn’t sit in the back seat watching over baby the ride home bc I was in too much pain when I was sitting down. Thinking about that now makes me feel guilty…she was only 2 days old and I wasn’t next to her making sure she was okay. But we all love and learn. And thank you for bringing light to that. 💗

[@DanielleNicoleMakeup]

Giiirl. Felt this in my soul!! Not only did I not know it was going to feel like a cheese grader had a field day down below and not being able to sit, I don't think anyone told me it would take 2 mths to heal. Was rough for real

[@Mimilove0214]

@@DanielleNicoleMakeup yesss girl rough af! We got through it tho 🙏👏💪

[@DanielleNicoleMakeup]

@@Mimilove0214 haha we sure did because we HAD to lol 🤣

[@hanmarie6104]

I absolutely pissed myself when you mimicked how babies breathe 😂 my son was born 5/21 and so we are pretty much on the same timeline!

[@heidimalm3341]

Relating SO hard to this video. Thanks so much for being so candid with the world.

[@Mandy251985]

This is some of the most honest content I’ve seen in a long time…. And I’m here for it. Thank you 🙏🏻

[@kellyluis3904]

As a mom of two little ones, this is the most accurate, realest description of postpartum I have ever seen on youtube. Thanks for this.

[@summerandlouis]

I recently was diagnosed with severe ocd and have been medicated for two weeks. It has already changed my life so much for the better. Your openness and honesty around your mental health and especially how it is playing into pregnancy and motherhood has had such an impact on me and I really could not thank you enough.

[@3shantelle]

I’m due in a month and can’t tell you how much I appreciate this video. So scared and someone talking true experiences and feelings really help my anxiety with everything that comes with postpartum. Thank you

[@meredithlinzay823]

I had my 1st baby 26 years ago and I can STILL REMEMBER the postpartum depression..it was horrific and people kept telling me how happy I should be and I felt like i was being ungrateful. I now know I needed anti depressants. I'm not saying that's what every woman needs but I definitely know that's what I needed... my body hurt so baaaadd as well..not sleeping, breastfeeding, stitches from the csection..ugh, it was rough. With my 2nd I was more prepared and had a better dr who helped me so much..I was also sent home with my 1st without being told anything about caring for myself..no instructions about all the blood, stitches, how often to feed my baby..zero instructions..they just pulled my iv out and wheeled me downstairs with my baby in my arms to our car and we drove away...we were lost and my in laws bombarded us with pop up visits..We should prepare new parents so much better. I wouldn't wish what happened to me on anyone..I'm in no way not grateful for giving birth to a healthy happy baby, he was and is one of the greatest blessings of my life

[@lorahb20]

Your talks have been the most honest about the first few hours and days after having a baby that I have ever heard online. I know a pregnant first time mom probably wouldn't take this all in, but it should be required viewing. When I got home with my baby, I worked myself up with so much anxiety from googling and second guessing myself about my baby's health and my own health, that I literally went numb. I couldn't sleep, and I couldn't feel my body from the waist down, and I had to get up and feed my baby seemingly every hour since it took an hour to feed. I truly was not prepared.

[@jodieh7963]

I think the “just you wait” comment is rooted in the thought that parenting is an ever changing rollercoaster. The moment you figure anything out everything can change and those feelings of insecurity and self judgment come back full force. Only my experience, my son is now 13 💖

[@KLM113]

Thanks for speaking on the body changes. I’ve finally started accepting how my body is changing, not only from having kids but with getting older

[@gugulethuhlophe1947]

Am i a mother? No I'm not but i still enjoy this content and love being informed.

[@Viennafly1]

As a med student, especially one that wants to do obgyn, this was incredibly helpful to hear your story. I’m sorry you had to go through a lot of what you did. There definitely needs to be more concern for how we leave people after they deliver for their dignity. But I also really appreciate that you had students in, as awkward as it was for you. If it weren’t for people like you willing to have us, everyone would be making mistakes and bumble f-ing their way through everything as someone with power later. And we’re so worried we look stupid in front of you, so we’re not at all concerned with how anyone looks, just how to help you in whatever way we can, because otherwise we feel useless. 🙏🏼 thank you!

[@TeetoTiana]

I’m so proud of you, you can see how proud and happy you are with everything you’ve been learning and doing. I love how honest you are being, i found that no one was really honest online when i was looking. Thank you!

[@caitlincunningham1361]

Please keep making videos like this! I’m 20 weeks pregnant and you’ve helped me so much already with what you have shared.

[@pretentiousindiekid]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience Sam! I'm a medical student who will be on my ob/gyn rotation soon, and I hope that I will be more empathetic and knowledgable for my patients because of you.

[@hklcutie]

Please make more videos about this. I'm pregnant with my first kid and even though I work at an OBGYN office I find your experience so helpful. I literally couldn't wait until you made another one. Thank you for sharing!

[@tonyasullivan1164]

I love that you're okay with saying everything especially towards the end of the video it is so refreshing to see honesty when it comes to kids and parents online and the advice and whatnot you are being so honest and that takes some really big ballz!!!! Thank you

[@fave525]

people fully commiting to this are fucking superheroes. women who want to/have children i admire you so fucking much, i could never.

[@_anicholson]

I have never really struggled with my mental health but damn. The level of anxiety I had for the first 6 weeks after giving birth was insane. I completely didn’t expect it.

[@sarahmullard5432]

I’m currently 6mths pregnant with baby #3 and I’ve researched and watched soooo much stuff throughout all my pregnancies and postpartum periods and never have i found a video so honest and accurate to what I have gone through! So Thankyou for sharing your experience and thoughts xx

[@amberl7773]

I watched this a few months ago and I’m a week pp today and I came back to it because it is so relatable and made me feel less alone

[@AshlynM850]

This is so refreshing. I had a very similar postpartum experience as you, and I am so glad someone is talking about it on a widely seen platform. People really need this perspective!

[@MissChristopher98]

I’m 36 weeks and this is my first pregnancy and I’m so thankful for your videos. Truly, it’s a breath of fresh air. I love how explicit you are about everything and this feels like the realistic prep I need for postpartum.

[@TheTwizz96]

My sister just had her first baby. & as someone who has yet to have kids, your videos have been so helpful for perspective & teaching me the best ways to be supportive for her. Thanks❤️

[@mariansmartt]

Yes Samantha it is great that you are using this platform to talk about all this stuff. There are so many young women that need your reassurance that what they are feeling is normal. Bless you for being there for so many other pregnant girls and young moms! Love you❤️

[@annak3388]

The “it came out with like a little poo swirl on its head” has me laughing so hard

[@curlaque]

I don’t think I have ever heard a mother refer to her baby as an “it”. I cannot understand that.

[@annak3388]

@@curlaque from what little I know it’s because she is trying to keep the baby itself as private as possible. She has only slipped up and said the gender once and I don’t even know what video that was in. I just remember seeing comments about it.

[@derppeppa1966]

@@curlaque Sam has said before that she wants to keep the gender and name unknown to us because really.. it doesn’t matter. So “it” and “they” are what are used when talking about her baby :)

[@curlaque]

@@derppeppa1966 ohhhhh! Well thanks for explaining!

[@derppeppa1966]

@@curlaque You’re welcome! :)

[@monica1436]

Not having a baby anytime soon but I’m invested in these videos. Stop apologizing we love hearing you talk about literally anything

[@JustBec2122]

I loved being pregnant, but I think it’s also important to say it’s okay to NOT love being pregnant. It doesn’t mean you won’t love your child or be a bad mom.

[@gigglebeebox]

Okay, I'm not even half way through this, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate this video. Not a mother (yet & maybe never), but in the last 10 years I've gone from thinking I'd have kids, to realizing just how much we're not told/taught/exposed to - I don't have a sister, my family is small, so I really have not had any experience with pregnancies & birth. I just want to say thank goodness for people like you, willing to discuss the topics that typically aren't openly explored. My brother recently had a kid and he spoke on how stressful the hospital was (and rude - he was sick and the nurse made him feel even worse about it). From what I understand, so many people go home (in Canada anyways) without anyone really explaining anything to you, and then make you feel silly when you've google'd worse case scenarios & call the hospital for help. Again, thank you for taking the time and effort to discuss what you've experienced. As someone who likes to know what I'm getting into before I endeavor (especially with a lil human), this is helping me to decide if trying to conceive, in the future, will be for me.

[@edqja32]

I will never forget after having my first baby. The whole feed your baby every 2-3 hours was absolutely not working for me, well for my baby. No matter what I did, undressing them, tickling their feet, running an orange on their back (supposed to be cold and would wake baby up), nope not mine. I was in tears everyday. Called the pediatrician and was like I cannot get my baby to eat. They told me and a nurse told me something in the hospital also that just helped me so much. Babies are incredibly resilient. When they are hungry they will let you know. If your baby wants to sleep, then they want to sleep, that's okay. Saved me from a mental breakdown and feeling like the worst parent in the whole wide world! Congratulations! You're doing wonderful!

[@brittm2636]

These videos mean the world to me! First time mom and I’m due in March and I’m the type of person who needs all the info, good or bad! Your pregnancy/post part in videos have that. So thank you!!

[@jessicaripko]

Ugh I totally agree. The doctors are always checking you during pregnancy and while you’re at the hospital, but once they send you home it’s like “Okay see you in 6 weeks”. I didn’t know anything.

[@DanielleNicoleMakeup]

Omg so true. And it seems like immediately after birth not many also care about how the mom is doing

[@HannahWeseloh]

Never stop these videos, I love them soooo much.

[@marilynedrew9339]

I’m five days post partum today and I feel like crying watching your video 🥲 it’s so great to hear someone talk so honestly about this and that i can relate too… It’s so hard to feel human in those first few days 😫

[@GeekyCupcake]

Hi Sam. I struggled with perinatal mood disorders after my pregnancies and felt so isolated and that there were such unrealistic expectations of parents and so little information about what might happen, which made me feel gaslit. I really appreciate, admire, and respect your transparency about pregnancy and postpartum and using your platform to educate others and provide some normalcy to the things we experience that we’ve may been made to feel bad about. I’m currently using my experiences and studying clinical mental health counseling and plan to provide therapy for pregnant and postpartum people at university, and it makes me so happy to see others using their own experiences to help and support others 💜 thank you

[@alikat8221]

Wow, this is such a trip! In Australia, it’s “normal” - with hospital births - to stay in hospital for 5 nights postpartum (with a c-section), and 3 with a complication-free vaginal birth. I was fortunate enough to go through the private system, and so had access to a night nursery (where these ridiculously magical nurses put the baby to sleep, and brought them to me for feeds every 2-3 hours), and for the first night - I gave birth just before midnight - the nurses took my baby so I could get a good sleep, and facilitated a LONG post-birth shower, within a couple of hours of delivery. I cannot imagine how hard it would be not to have a few days with lactation consultants to help you figure out breastfeeding, and not having a bed for your partner, so they can stay with you 😢 Edit: pregnancy was a s**ts**w for me; the burden on women to “enjoy” it (especially if they have HG/health complications) is BS, and has no bearing on the kind of parent you will be. Also, it would be nice if being a mum weren’t always prefaced with “just”. It’s never “just”.

[@amygrant1368]

Im in Aus... the longest I've stayed in hospital is 2 days post 4th birth due to complications. I went home the same day my 3rd was born🤣..

[@alikat8221]

@@amygrant1368 Really?! Did you have the option of staying longer, or was it standard to go home so early? The private system in NSW definitely has a 3-5 nights as standard, although patients can obviously go home earlier if they prefer.

[@Yolanda8419]

In Greece it’s the same. There is no option for less days than that. Three overnights for natural births and four for c-sections. Plus they don’t leave the baby with you unless you say it and still the nurses change it and bathe it and on the night before you go home the show you how to bathe it. Plus every professional is there to show you. Still you learn on the job kinda, despite what they tell you. You are never prepared for the baby in my opinion.

[@amygrant1368]

@@alikat8221 i could have stayed if i wanted but i felt fine, baby was fine so i went home. I was in a private room too. But home is always more comfortable ❤

[@philippa5101]

@@amygrant1368 I reckon 48 hours is quite normal for an uncomplicated birth. I'm in Canberra and most of my friends had that in the public system.

[@samanthasoto1859]

Honestly so thankful for an honest non "idealistic" conversation about not just mental health but the different views of pregnancy. Anything YOU as a person feels is VALID and I pray you are able to talk about it with someone. Thank you Samantha for just being YOU and being honest about you're journey into motherhood and for all the things you share that help some of us feel more comfortable with what's happening during ones pregnancy. I'm not a mom nor am I pregnant but hearing you share your experience comforts me into knowing that it's going to be ok. Please continue to share your mom chats💕

[@amandabanks281]

It amazing me that people are bold enough to tell others how they should feel think or act and that they can make a sound judgement about your abilities. We see you over the internet for 20 to 40 minutes, thus we have no right to tell you anything. That said, thanks for your honesty

[@helenwalker716]

Your explanation is absolutely precious. Now I have a baby. Now what. Wishing you well for every day with your new baby. ❤️

[@reblyn14]

I love how candid and real you always are, thanks for not holding back. You are totally relatable and the lack of talking about the aftermath of the birth process isn’t talked about enough!!!! I myself went through hell, Tore during delivery, full time nursing trying to keep a baby alive with jaundice, also infection in my uterus set in within a week that lasted 3 months. So painful I’ll never forget. The whole thing with you talking about not being able to do anything but try to breastfeed Is exactly what I had. I love my daughter but, Thus ONE AND DONE.

[@emilylerman9028]

I don’t have kids but find motherhood very interesting so I love getting to learn about it more through your experience!!! ❤️ hopefully people learning more about postpartum will spread awareness for parental leave!!! I think the reason why people say “it’s all for the best” is because society in general only wants to talk about the positive things in life so when people bring up hardships they don’t know how to respond.

[@erintrolley3074]

sam you make me feel so much better about having a baby. I'm wanting to sometime over the next couple years and like you just relieve so much stress and answer so many questions.

[@annanderson2047]

I will never forget stumbling into my first shower and seeing that my breasts were square (they were engorged - cute word huh.) I called my older sister, who told me what to do. As I complained that nobody warns you about what happens after the baby is born, she responded, "if they did, probably no one would get pregnant when you add this to the birth itself." I laughed and somehow felt better. You making these videos is providing other women with the same warm, loving, practical advice that Joan gave me. Keep up the good work. Never forget, we are all in this together :-).

[@DanielleNicoleMakeup]

So true 🤣 I was NOT prepared for labor and post pardum and I think her comment was spot on