Florida Man Friday: Episode 8

[@ThatWriterKevin]

What a surprise, Simon didn't understand a single reference from my intro. Also, Simon, if you understand the appeal of paper airplane competitions but not pillow fighting, then clearly 1980s movies in the UK were VERY different from in the US.

[@thatderek]

KEVIN!? THAT Kevin? Who let you out? 😂😂😂 Thank you for all the excellent entertainment m'dude!

[@curtislindsey1736]

"There's 8 ESPN's????" Clearly Simon never watched Dodgeball 😂

[@baddman69]

Ah, but would he admit getting that reference? Love the work Kevin!

[@philippal8666]

@@ThatWriterKevin get back in the basement! Anyway Home Alone and Disney were our 80s films. The pillows and was there bed rolling?!

[@Baldevi]

Great script, Kevin! I hope Simon gave you some extra smokes and beers for this, and congrats on getting signal in the Basement!

[@user-ok4pk2mp3e]

I'm glad Simon went all-in on Florida Man Friday because it's my favorite series right now!

[@ace.l.w]

Lorelei is causing me great physical harm with these edits. I’m too sore to be laughing this much!

[@EveryFairyDies]

It's a good workout for your abs.

[@Im-Not-a-Dog]

"A machete is a _swish_ weapon." _Learning things with Fact-Boi_

[@jodycarter7308]

Yeah, the word should be slash.

[@Im-Not-a-Dog]

@@jodycarter7308 Just checked the DMG, and it says machete does 1d6 Swish Damage.

[@jodycarter7308]

@@Im-Not-a-Dog lol.

[@Lisa-fj1jc]

Oh my, the Supernatural "ball handler" gag. I see you. 😆

[@BirloCB]

THE “DUMB WAYS TO DIE” SONG HAS FINALLY MADE AN APPEARANCE!! THANK YOU DEAR EDITOR!

[@EveryFairyDies]

I knew it needed to be used in just the right place. And I found that place. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[@BirloCB]

@@EveryFairyDies I often sing this to myself throughout the Florida Man series and the Darwin Awards. Your gracious work does not go unnoticed.

[@Laurielism]

@@EveryFairyDies I'm sure it could be easily overused in this series. 😂 I really love the editing in these. Thanks.

[@EveryFairyDies]

@@BirloCB You and me, same page!

[@quinndunoon]

Its literally the best thing that Metro Trains Melbourne has ever done. 7:47

[@karenyee9812]

Love seeing Fact Boi laughing with joy as opposed to major depression following The Casual Criminalist.

[@purplesprigs]

Here in Florida, our power just came back on (the lucky few) so I get to watch this. It's real mess here. But, just so you know, with the flooding, there are gators hanging out everywhere. They sit perfectly still and pose for photos.

[@ecabe1793]

I hope the gators stay friendly.

[@TitularHeroine]

​@@ecabe1793 maybe they're just full 😬

[@jenniferlindsey2015]

Glad you’re safe.

[@Bacopa68]

Gators got everywhere after hurricane Harvey in Houston. The gators swam away from the current in the Brazos River flood, but then ended up everywhere in the SW suburbs. There are already gators there, but now there were more. Some were located back to Brazos Bend State Park. I always take visitors who want to see a gator out to Brazos Bend. Pretty much always a gator there.

[@mason7067]

Hi random person from Florida, let me be the millionth guy to explain the history of Gatorade to you! 😜

[@xessenceofinsanityx]

Dammit Lorelei, now I'm gonna have Dumb Ways to Die stuck in my head for the rest of the day 🤣

[@EveryFairyDies]

You're welcome!

[@TitularHeroine]

​@@EveryFairyDies great game tho' 😂

[@blackswan1900]

@@EveryFairyDies with me it had the opposite effect. I had this song stuck in my head for the past 4 or 5 days without hearing one note of it for many years and now it's gone! Thanx!

[@EveryFairyDies]

@@blackswan1900 Sometimes the way to beat an ear worm is to listen to the song. I'm glad it's gone!

[@MatthewDavis-p2p]

Well how bout this. I havent even heard the song yet in the video but, I read your comment and now have the song stuck in my head already.

[@OhioGal83]

Keep the Florida Man videos going!!! Absolutely LOVE them!!

[@keenhydraeft6734]

I wonder what Simon's neighbours think when he's just yelling things like "AAYYY FUCK OFF JANITOR YOU FUCKIN PEASANT!"

[@peterholmes7440]

@@keenhydraeft6734 not the worse thing they heard him yell for no reasons NGL.

[@Ottobon]

He records at a office downtown that is half underground, windows towards the street, so its more a question what people walking by, or as referenced in other episodes renovators and or gardeners outside make of it

[@dex6166]

The Supernatural cutaways 😂😂 omg, perfect 👌

[@jenniferlindsey2015]

Long live Sam, Dean & Cass!

[@dex6166]

@@jenniferlindsey2015 best characters ever ❤️ also can't imagine Simon and Cas trying to have a conversation lol

[@Rekuzan]

The Horrible Histories cutaway was better!

[@1337LXD]

Please never stop making Florida man friday, it is the best thing i have ever seen on KZbin!

[@ThatWriterKevin]

No intention of stopping! And hey, you can support the writer directly on that site that starts with pat and ends with reon if you're ever so inclined

[@Daddyoh94]

Thank you Lorelei! Thank you Kevin! Allegedly Simon!

[@ThatWriterKevin]

You're welcome!

[@EveryFairyDies]

You're also welcome!

[@maranathaschraag5757]

i was ROLLING with this one! the stories, the editing (bonus points for supernatural outtakes and Astarion cameo), the befuddlement. *chef's kiss*

[@Hillbilly001]

@@EveryFairyDies I don't know how you do it Lorelei, but your editing is absolutely brilliant. You should be put in for work release from the Blazement occasionally. In my opinion. Well done.

[@EveryFairyDies]

@@Hillbilly001 Aww, thanks! But I'm quite happy down here. The dank is comfortable and I like my friends, the Void and Dolores the Sentient Talking Zebra Head.

[@matthewmerchant2038]

"8th Street Latinas aren't nearly as wild as Reality Kings would have you believe." Ah, Kevin. A man of culture, I see.

[@jasonjason2271]

5:40 was not expecting that song to ever pop up again in my life, but here we are

[@EveryFairyDies]

It's a good song.

[@anthonyorsini]

I'm loving this Florida series by my favorite 6'13" KZbinr.

[@ThatWriterKevin]

He is 6'8 sir

[@nicholasholmes1675]

Ah an OG reference. Good old Business Blaze

[@Pokebilities]

A reality kings reference is wild 😂😂😂😂😂

[@carsonm7292]

That flying right over Simon's head is the biggest sign he's married with kids. Absolutely hilarious.

[@maranathaschraag5757]

"don't get drunk and get your machete out" I see a new coin in our future!

[@MrSkydiverDan]

As a Florida-Man myself, these episodes only scratch the surface, lol

[@RoseJ1983]

Loving the Florida man Fridays!❤️

[@ThatWriterKevin]

And they love you!

[@minnymin8788]

Ah, the machete; my favorite Swish Weapon!

[@allisonbergh4429]

Since you capitalised Swish I now need a Swiss army machete please! With a toothpick and tweezers and at least 3 blades. No flashlight though, those are dumb 😂

[@ScarlettsWebb]

😂😂😂 oh my goodness just when I found it all, not machetes

[@ScarlettsWebb]

@@allisonbergh4429 Now that was funny 🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏 ! Best Comeback 🏆

[@FurtiveSkeptical]

If you swing it aggressively, it's a slashing weapon. If you kinda half ass it in your off hand without commitment, it's a swishing weapon.😅

[@FurtiveSkeptical]

​@@allisonbergh4429Also, the phrase "Swish Army Knife" has me grinning uncontrollably right now.😁

[@ecabe1793]

Simon not getting “the ocho” 😂😂😂 Dodgeball reference flying over his head. 😂😂😂

[@chewey1868]

Flying over his head...... like a golf disk

[@rawr51919]

i smell the pun already

[@EmpressOfExile206]

And him pretending not to understand the "8th street latinas/reality kings" reference 😂

[@jenniferclark9842]

I think he lives under a rock.

[@rawr51919]

@@jenniferclark9842 So essentially he's Patrick Star

[@SamuelGeist]

Love the Horrible Histories clip thrown in there!

[@kalagroth]

Disc hunters are also called squidys. I met one in clearwater that survived an alligator attack. He got my died disc back that I loved a lot. Thank God for squidys

[@mason7067]

Florida Man Friday is amazing, don't stop.

[@kbg6070]

I love FMF! Makes my week! So glad you have fully leaned into this!

[@assassination1nspace]

I've started getting excited for Flordida Man Friday,, it's so good

[@ThatWriterKevin]

Glad you're enjoying!

[@JenniferManley-wp1ce]

Fuck yeah Florida Man Fridays! 🤘

[@Laurastar2009]

Lorelei, your edits are the best. Loved the BG3 clip in particular.

[@olencone4005]

5:55 At my first job after college, we had an office next to a nature preserve, so there were multiple gators in the retention pond by the patio -- a lot of people would watch them swim around while they ate lunch there. We did customer service training for service professionals, like stewardesses -- and one week a crew from Ontario was onsite for training. They had never seen a gator before. So, despite the dozen signs saying "do not do this," they started throwing bits of ham from their sandwiches to the gator, laughing as it bounced up in the air to snap the meat up mid-throw. They were completely oblivious to the fact that it was getting closer and closer to them each time. Their trainer heard them laughing and came out to see how they were doing -- and nearly had a heart attack as she saw a 12 foot (3.6 meter) gator leap up to catch some ham about three feet (a meter) from them. She took a few quick steps, grabbed them by the arm and very firmly said "Time to go. NOW." as she dragged them back inside and locked the doors ^_^ Those stewardesses had no idea how close they were to becoming a Canadian entry on a Florida Man episode :D

[@katsmeow6946]

Worked in geriatric care for 50 years. I have had two deaths caused by sex accidents. Have that conversation with a family.

[@teleiosdawyz4044]

I almost feel bad for laughing at that situation so quickly. But darn it, that's why we're grateful for professionals. Trying to do that with a straight face requires such aplomb.

[@jobymahon2871]

"there goeeeeeessss myyyy HEEERRRROOOOOOO WATCH HIM AS HE GO"

[@jodycarter7308]

Stop having sex with your geriatric patients. Jk

[@luizagrillo668]

OKAY, I NEED DETAILS

[@jobymahon2871]

@@luizagrillo668 it's not the same but my grandpa overdosed on Cialis and had to spend 3 days in the hospital. (Not anything sex related he just tripped and fell down the stairs at his house in the Bronx and dislocated his hip

[@mikeh892]

"The voices in his head were instructing him on how to make his pizza!" I like where this is heading.

[@Josh-fo5fd]

Best part of friday! Perfect timing for my drive home😊

[@Nissi4061]

Not me filtering a pivot table at work whilst listening

[@ThatWriterKevin]

Honestly I'm surprised Simon even came up with the phrase pivot table. That's a lot more advanced than anything I'd have expected him to need to do in excel; that's what accountants are for

[@Nissi4061]

@ThatWriterKevin l'm an accountant and that's the only way I know about them lol

[@guidorotunda1321]

I love these videos I live in Florida & I enjoy hearing about the crazy misadventures of Florida Man & Florida Woman

[@fiction-]

Absolutely adore that Lorelei seems as obsessed with Supernatural gifs as I am.

[@callievaughn9955]

As I watch more videos from this channel, the more I begin to love seeing Simon enter his unhinged era

[@aveleziii]

i appreciate the rage against the machine/ panda cheese clip. thank you, lorelei

[@ThirdLeftTurn]

Love me some Florida man Friday!! I look forward to it every week.. my dad lives there, I’m waiting to see if he pops up on an episode 😅

[@StephenKwasek]

I love Florida Man Fridays. Please keep it up oh slayer of the boredom!

[@zorianthornton6698]

My Alma mater at 1:01 😂 go Hokies!

[@jc6800]

2.40 I'm pickling it up bish 😂 my neighbors probs think I'm crazy I was laughing so loud 😂

[@margaretthatcher6828]

Florida man will never let us down...

[@RolandHazoto]

How you know SImon is actually married? He doesn't get any of Kevin's "Florida references" 🤣🤣

[@MannFace51]

Thanks John Wick wearing a Tiara from Payday 2

[@darkermatter125.35]

Dear Lorelei the Metal Goddess, Queen of the Metal Memes, Thank you, for once again being here to comfort me when I am sick (my body is so broken lol). I didn't even get the chance to ask, and yet, you were there to comfort me. To the best of all the deities! 🥂 PS- I like that Wayward Winchester is getting some love, they have a great channel 💙

[@EveryFairyDies]

Dear DarkerMatter, greatest of disciples, You are more than welcome! Sorry to hear you're feeling poorly, I'm glad I was able to make you feel a bit better for a short time. Wayward Winchester is a great channel and I'm glad I could feature them a little bit! Take care of yourself and keep on keepin' on. ❤🤘

[@nanoglitch6693]

Lorelei the content thief, least creative on the team, Where would we be without her stolen jokes? (enjoying a clever script uninterrupted by the same dumb clips copy-pasted over and over in every vid..)

[@philguzman6932]

Molesting an alligator... You have to pay extra for that, Cotton.

[@Metallica4Life92]

Time to crack a cold one, and listen to what crazy adventures Florida Man has been up to

[@ayowtfyoutube]

Okay the editor deserves a raise! Very impressed and delighted

[@Fiddlers-Green42]

"it's number 8, the ocho" a writer with culture, i see

[@jjscalf]

They need enough sports for ESPN 8, the ocho

[@ResDogsMrPink]

It's a bold strategy cotton, let's see if it works out for em

[@onebritishboi9892]

SIMON WE LOVE FLORIDA MAN FRIDAY but also general stories of tomfoolery are great also!

[@starrywizdom]

Having voices in your head that tell you how to cook something sounds so very useful!

[@chriswarr641]

Florida man Fridays is great! I'm mostly just commenting to boost the engagement on the video!

[@ArchangelXCI]

Last night the KZbin algorithm recommended me armoured MMA. That shit is wild. It’s like knights with blunted weapons in the octagon

[@maryford3243]

I love Florida man stories😊

[@amemooress6291]

The memes. 😂😂😂 Kevin's commentary. It's all particularly fantastic today.

[@philippal8666]

And episode 8 and KZbin algorithm gives me this as it’s best offering 45minutes after upload. The algorithm likes Florida Man Simon.

[@GtaSpartan7596]

Florida man Friday is my favorite part of Friday

[@bradthompson8934]

Swish, (faster) swish. Simon and all the writers are awesome ! Definitely the editors, Definitely

[@Snipe4261]

"molest an alligator..." - so, here's the thing - it's actually not possible to tell the sex of an alligator by looking at it, and this leads to an interesting issue. Alligators have what's called a cloaca. If a wildlife biologist, or someone else with a legitimate need to know, wants to determine an alligator's sex then they have to insert their fingers into the cloaca and they can then tell by feel what the alligator's sex is. Which is to say that there have been many Florida men who have molested alligators and had a legitimate reason to do so.

[@tmutant]

Thank you, Lorelei, you're a Legend.

[@Thromash]

"You're an old man, stop making 90 minute videos" Simon talking to his future self I see.

[@benhac]

"All these Florida references' 😂😂

[@curthensley3265]

I can't wait for Florida man Friday after the hurricane

[@ScarlettsWebb]

Goodness 🤣🤣🤣I keep being amazed . We have our own Florida man stories here in the states dig a little deeper they get grosser 🤣🤣🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ I love your content and your writers. Thank you for making it.

[@TalentlessCooking]

Lorelei, 2 of my favorite gags, thanks for that! Steve on south park is a great one, I have been thinking about it a lot lately.

[@Tango246]

Simon love your content. I had these new glasses!

[@Bjwuv]

Ngl, I was giddy over the supernatural reference 😊 hehe

[@d4mdcykey]

The memes had me rolling, that is some top shelf entertainment.

[@Smurffies]

Thank you for all the dodgeball movie references. I love it

[@0o0ification]

The gator molesting digression reminded me of the old NOFX album art for "Heavy Petting Zoo". Now I wonder if that disasterpiece made into the AI scrapers...

[@goosenotmaverick1156]

Tell me this man didnt just miss a Dodgeball reference.... Edit; bruh, TWICE?! and moved right into a dodgeball story even. Writer is just messing with him at this point 🤣 Edit edit; three... and now hes talking about it further at the end.... dang FactBoi 😂

[@NealWilliams]

Apparently, he can't dodge a wrench

[@Ravenforce3]

If he can dodge a reference he can dodge a ball.

[@goosenotmaverick1156]

@@NealWilliams well then, he definitely can't dodge a ball!

[@allisonbergh4429]

Can he dive or duck though?

[@goosenotmaverick1156]

@@Ravenforce3 🤣🤣

[@cripplious]

Largest number of STIs is in elder communities

[@Rekuzan]

Shuffleboard is the perfect fusion of Hockey and Curling.

[@Hillbilly001]

Let's go!!! Kevin is the greatest in the Blazement!! AM I RIGHT PETER!!!!

[@ThatWriterKevin]

Why thank you!

[@xionmemoria]

I love this series!

[@ThatWriterKevin]

And it loves you!

[@gweebara]

🫦🤌 beautiful episode I love your Florida man series.,. The editing was superb and I am so glad to see the return of chair. ❤❤❤🫶

[@anonymousrex5207]

ESPN 8 started out as a gag in a (great) movie and has actually turned into something fairly popular over the years... you have to love that. I remember watching the tetris championship a few years back in a bar on ESPN 8 with one of the guys who was in the tournament and it was really fun.

[@jorgelotr3752]

Shuffleboard is that sport that often appears in old cruise-themed flms and series, where you use a stick with an U-shape (cue) at the end to send a disc/puck to a grid with numbers.

[@Crioten]

Starfishes love you all, happy Friday!!!

[@robsquared2]

Thanks past Simon, these are great.

[@vicarious_cringe]

We all have a Florida man inside of us…waiting…some are lucky enough to never meet their inner Florida man, but believe me when I tell you he is there.

[@takeohtyme]

I'm amazed that there isn't enough to do a full Calle Ocho episode. I used to live on 8th St, shit goes down on the daily there.

[@olencone4005]

In proper Florida Man fashion, I survived without power for five days after hurricane Milton, just so I could catch Florida Man Friday ^_^ On a side note, watching ducks do duck things and live duck lives in the duck pond out back is NOT a good substitute for the internet 😅

[@jenniferwalker2940]

Lol thank you Lorelei for the SPN insert ❤

[@EveryFairyDies]

I mean, how could I not?! 🤣

[@markbrown2640]

You can potentially beat someone with the FLAT of a machete.

[@sparkplug1018]

That sounds like the plot for a Florida man adult film. Machete: The Spankining!

[@AG-fs8yn]

RIP Rockstar. He was a real Florida Man

[@josephsollender8487]

Keen observation Simon, the machete is more of a chopping slashing weapon rather than a stabbing.

[@allisonbergh4429]

I had never considered a machete a particularly “swish” weapon but I’m now picturing all the dandies and fops armed to the teeth 😂 Dropping a like specifically for the writing and editing! Simon is also fine 😉 Also my great grandpa spent his last years in a retirement home where he had a girlfriend on every floor. He would stay in the dining room through all three lunch services - by floor - so he could eat lunch with each of them 😆Respect.

[@FurtiveSkeptical]

Swish weapon applies because those fop dandies didn't have the forearm and wrist strength to wield them properly so it fits.🤔

[@thehistoryvideogameandgame4730]

Okay now we need a Florida Man Friday about crazy stories in Miami, That sounds simple

[@RikSaunderson]

Cooper's Hill Cheese Rolling is the greatest sport of all time!! How do you not want to watch that?!?!?!

[@hbeachley]

This topic just keeps giving!!! (As an American, but not a Floridian, I do want to stick up for them a little bit and point out that Florida has an unusual number of stories like this because of the Sunshine law. (Might have the name a little off.) It’s basically that anyone can call a police station/non emergency police line and just ask what happened that day, and they have to tell you like all the arrests that day, or all the traffic stops that day, or whatever you were asking about. I think Simon might have even mentioned this once, but I thought I’d drop in a reminder, out of embarrassment.

[@jooleebilly]

Love the retro protein drink shaker - very Trapper Keeper 1985!

[@j0wwify]

Omg I knew was a lorelei edit about 1/4 way through but managed to restrain my self from googling it so I could the payoff at the end. Lorelei your my fav editor if BB. Julian you are neck and neck my dude

[@EyesOfByes]

Friday Friday!

[@JeeVeeHaych]

Me wondering who edited this one: **sees clip from Disenchantment** "Ooh, Lorelei!"

[@gingercornishhillbillyuk]

helps him out with chorus🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@carsonm7292]

The MS Excel competitions are actually pretty cool. They basically give you a bunch of increasingly complicated math puzzles, far too many/complex to solve by hand in the time limit, and you have to flex your Excel skills to create advanced functions that automatically solve and fill out the answers for you. Not exactly a spectator sport but for the math-brained Excel wizards out there I see the appeal. Excel is such a complicated application; some of the stuff people can do with it is wild.

[@Jeepscreeps90210]

"this wasn't some 5 dollar frozen pizza you throw in the oven for HALF AN HOUR"? That's not even my only question about that phrase. Kevin, dude, who hurt you?

[@Rekuzan]

3:24 ~ OMG, Horrible Histories!!! Never thought I'd see the day one of those memes showed up here!