For Men Who Have a Closed or Guarded Heart - Smart Couple Podcast Episode

In this episode I explain how society and culture play an massive role in the indoctrination of men from a young age, which keeps their hearts behind a giant wall. From a young age, boys learn to repress and hide their emotions and their sensitive side in order to belong to the peer group, their family, and avoid rejection and abandonment.
SHOWNOTES
(0:48) Recap from last episode.
(2:28) Why some problematic behaviors of men are caused by a closed heart.
(4:05) How his environment trained Jayson to repress emotions in exchange for approval from others.
(5:55) Indoctrination of kids into the “boy code”(9:30) How men put other men down using sexist terms starting on their childhood.
(10:40) Practical examples of how men keep each other in this “gender box”.
(10:53) Artists using sexist language.
(12:03) Jayson tells how hazing culture is part of male behavior in fraternities.
(13:03) Males bullying other males in competitive situations.
(13:20) Entrepreneur men using sexist language to motivate other men.
(18:48) Granny shot - Sexist language in sports.
(19:35) Will Chamberland not using the “granny shot” even though it’s proven more effective, for fear of being judged.
(22:12) Jayson shares how people around him used sexist terms when playing golf.
(23:20) Do not judge men that have a closed heart.
(24:08) You can become a better man and help other men and step out of your “gender box” if you choose to open your heart.
(24:55) Humans have both masculine and feminine in them.
(27:13) Why you should stop using misogynistic language to motivate other men.
(27:23) How men keep themselves inside their own prison.
(29:48) This is not your flat, but it is your problem.
(30:15) Action step(31:27) Upcoming Webinar.

[@angiemorris2493]

Thank you for challenging and sparking the light of growth and awareness. I really enjoy listening to you and your wife

[@JaysonGaddis]

Amazing. Glad you liked it!

[@Naythaflylady]

This was a super duper great video! I too am a therapist and I will recommend all men to listen to your video to understand themselves emotionally!!!

[@JaysonGaddis]

Thanks for sharing!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@jimmalone5851]

Thank you Jayson, I so much related to your story as a child being conditioned & deadened by society to the male condition. What other podcasts do you have to open up my heart??

[@JaysonGaddis]

thx! plenty more here relationshipschool.com/relationship-school-podcast/

[@meganroth1893]

I felt some regret listening to this. I can see how I have played into this as a woman. I wanted my partner to open up, and yet when he did sometimes I found it weak or I felt fear. I'll need to unpack why! I can see how that made it hard for him to feel safe sharing with me.

[@JaysonGaddis]

Stay strong!

[@nissaguestpsl7750]

Wow I got those same things from my mom, even though I'm female. So this resonates. You are so brave to speak your truth so loudly and so boldly. Kudos to you.

[@JaysonGaddis]

thank you

[@chadteigen7699]

this was my experience growing up to a T. I lived in fear of my own emotions, my demeanor, and i had only my sharp whit to be defended. Thanks for addressing this. I am often still guarded in relationships, trying not to appear feminine or "gay"-ish or less than. I was called all sorts of names you said.

[@JaysonGaddis]

Thanks for commenting!

[@simeonhuntsman9136]

This is just brilliant insight. So helpful and useful. Thank you.

[@JaysonGaddis]

Thanks!

[@Shangrila37]

Incredible. 🙏🏻🙌🏻

[@JaysonGaddis]

Thank you!🙏🏻

[@devonlovemusic]

Jayson, I am late watching this video and catch up! Just wanted to say you are doing an awesome job! As a woman, I don't think we realize how much is truly going on with the men in our lives!!

[@JaysonGaddis]

Thank you!

[@jeanpaul8220]

Thank you Jayson, I'm gonna deal with my closed heart

[@JaysonGaddis]

sure!

[@kathysutton2631]

Great.

[@JaysonGaddis]

Thanks!!

[@anikabrett8414]

Amazing video! Thankyou

[@JaysonGaddis]

You're welcome

[@melissabailey1]

Please change this KZbin video setting so it autoplays on social media newsfeeds; I'd love to share it on my Facebook. I love your work ❤️🌎✌️

[@JaysonGaddis]

Thanks for the feedback!

[@keyannalucky506]

What about women that use the language, not towards men but to describe themselves or that's the majority of the music they listen to?

[@JaysonGaddis]

what do you mean?

[@patfar392]

Why?

[@JaysonGaddis]

Why what?

[@Sunlight-zx2ur]

“Don’t act gay” umm..I am gay, and I don’t need no woman in my life.

[@JaysonGaddis]

✨

[@jackstod]

Women think your weak for having open heart so.. This is all your opinion boy.

[@JaysonGaddis]

Thanks for your feedback!

[@VladWielbut]

Hi Jason. Your argument makes a lot of sense. Two comments: first, you almost lost me after a few minutes when you used the term "toxic masculinity". The term itself is toxic, probably concocted by man-hating feminists and now being used as a cudgel to beat and denigrate men, who are the only social group in Western societies left to freely criticize and ridicule, especially if they have white skin - the rest are taboo. Second, I wonder if this phenomenon of men "closing their hearts" is not a consequence of dismantling of the "patriarchy" (another toxic buzzword). Some of the issues you have been describing have been with us forever: men being conditioned to be hunters, warriors, killers - strong mentally and physically - but also providers and protectors of those under their care. In a "patriarchal" society where I grew up, men were chivalrous and respectful toward women (with exceptions, of course): they would give their seats on a bus or train to a woman, would kiss their hand in greeting as a sign of respect and admiration. This is slowly but surely being excised from men's hearts as one of the vestigial signs of the maligned "patriarchy". Men are no longer allowed to see themselves as providers and protectors, so they revert to being primarily hunters and warriors. Women are not the "weaker sex" worthy of compassion and respect, but ruthless competitors who claim to be equal to, or better than men in everything. That creates bitter men who feel (not without reasons) that cards are getting stacked against them, so they close their hearts, form the MGTOW movement and veer toward misogyny. I am not optimistic about the future of Western societies, as this is bound to get worse.

[@JaysonGaddis]

Thanks for your feedback!