Forgiveness Is Not What You Think-The Work of Byron Katie®

Byron Katie and Armin Rott of Germany talk about how forgiveness really happens through the meditative process of The Work. This interview was part of the first German online Forgiveness Conference in 2017.
"Forgiveness," Katie says, "is knowing that what I believed happened, didn't necessarily happen. I can put all of these negative thoughts on you like post-its. These are my thoughts; they're not you. And I'm blaming you for being the person I believe you to be. I've made you an enemy.
"I'm the one doing that to you; you're never doing it to me. That's forgiveness. Seeing that what I thought happened, didn't.
"Now I can put these judgments on a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet and question them. With this inquiry we can find ourselves not only in a state of forgiveness, but in a state of connectedness with the person we were judging.
"You didn't change. I questioned what I believed about you, and forgiveness happened. No one can separate me from another human being; I'm the only one who can do that. If I'm not connected, that's on me. I look to what I'm thinking and believing.
"And if I've done anything out of that unkind, believing mind, I admit it, apologize, and make it right when I can, but only when I'm sincere about it. And this can be very humbling. It's quite a turnaround for the ego."
"The hardest part,"Armin says, "is giving up the perceived need to be right, to attack, to judge, and to not feel how much it hurts."
"If I want to be right," Katie says, "that's my first clue that it's time for me to identify what I'm thinking and believing about this other human being, write the judgments and assumptions down, question them, and turn them around, so that I can see that human being for who they really are. If I have an enemy, that's on me, not them. So we're talking about complete and total forgiveness.
"It can take time,"Armin says, "to do this process of forgiveness through The Work. But it can be completed."
"Yes," says Katie. "When we ask 'Is it true?' we have to get still and meditate on that question to see what meets it. And what meets it is big. It will shift you right out of your identity. What meets the question is your own wisdom."
"Oh my God!" Armin says, with tears in his eyes. "Okay, I think I haven't understood The Work. Oh my God! This is deep! What a relief! Thank you, Katie. Then, in that stillness, you have access to what is true. Oh! Thank you. And now I realize that there is no way to forgive unless you have access to that."
"It's the beginning of the end of the war in you," Katie says. "Just now. It's a gift, this recognition. And your tears are only the physical evidence of the recognition, this flower opening and petals falling. It's beautiful."
Armin sits in silence, then gently begins to laugh. "Thank you...wow!" he says, wiping away a tear. "Can I ask one more question? What happened on the floor when the cockroach crawled over your foot?"
"I saw how the entire world was created," Katie says. "The world is nothing until it's named. And it's still nothing until you believe that name. The Work was born on that floor. I saw that nothing was true. How do you react, what happens when you believe that thought? I saw that the entire world was created in that moment. And who would I be without the thought is me prior to believing the thought. And the opposites are as true or truer. So it's all left up to the mind to determine.
"Many people have had experiences of realization. The difference for me is that The Work was given to me at the same time, so that the realization could be maintained and nurtured. The inquiry is alive in me. It's alive! Everything just naturally ends in a question mark. It's the questioning mind. For people who invite this into their mediation practice, eventually it becomes a part of their mind as well. It's a practice until finally it takes hold of us. But that takes a very open mind. It takes stillness. It's not about emptying the mind; it's about surrendering to the mind, and just offering 'Is it true?' to the mind."
"I'd say that's discipline in the best sense," Armin says.
The enlightened mind has nothing to forgive. - Byron Katie
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© 2018 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.

[@colski3333]

The WORK is like Acim in a nutshell. Forever grateful BK.

[@SamsaraD]

When I see the tears start in some of these videos, my heart is love exploding. I always envision Ego losing its grip and the crying is the release into and the soaring into the truth/relief/love. I love this experience into freedom. It is a trip.

[@bellagaia2796]

What a wonderful image. Thank you.

[@mtm00]

28:46 "... It's not about emptying the mind ... it's about allowing, or surrendering to, the mind; just offering up an "is it true?" to the mind is child-like enough to entertain it!" ... thank you Katie.

[@fingerprint5511]

What a blessing! I wish all males would allow their hearts to crack open loke this man's did. My witnessing of his heart opening has restored my faith thank you

[@LizJohnsonVoice]

“These tears are part of the leaving.” So touching to see someone be innocent and vulnerable. That really helps! ❤️

[@sukhmanicambridge]

If we are in fear we feel we are protected...YES. This is so helpful. Our fear is not a position we want to hold onto. No matter how “right” we feel.crying too here.

[@mtm00]

17:50 It's so moving to see (and hear) realisation hit ... the beautiful self is exposed through the tears of our joyful aspect at our finally understanding/recognising. 20:00 "... through the beautiful gift of now ... flowers opening, petals falling ..." Thank you Katie: it can't be said any better.

[@kittenpawsbb]

Really powerful, "This is why we can't end war in the world". We have the way to peace, and it so simple. I just want to cry. I choose to let the things in life take over and keep myself closed from this enlightenment. Thank you for uploading these videos, with you r teachings.

[@trishsavagemusic6933]

I am humbled by the silence and pure recognition that they share at 29:07. This is just beautiful.

[@DrEdithUbuntuChan]

What a beaaauuutiful transmission - from Katie and Armit both. Thank you .

[@GoldenHawk441]

exquisite presence shared - thank you both of you.

[@carlchen2338]

Danke für dieses schöne Video mit Katie, lieber Armin. Der Moment deiner Erkenntnis war sehr berührend . The Work ist der beste Weg zur Freiheit den ich kenne , täglich wird man mehr zu sich selbst und es braucht niemanden außer mir selber um mich zu befreien. Totale Eigenverantwortung ! Wie Du so schön sagtest, sehr radikal.

[@user-cx4ln7zr9r]

Soooooo greeeeat , God bless you katie and your friend. I’m Arabic and I follow you

[@sheilakirwan9462]

each - every recording seems apt and brilliant - without a past or future, nothing happens and there is nothing to forgive - yes radical - thank you so much BK, thanks so much Armin and thanks for uploading ...hope this really really spreads and gets really really integrated by 'me'!!!!

[@Vlatka211]

Wish I understood!!!! Thank's so much for this.

[@bvaughn777]

19:10 "there is no other way". True.

[@garasu106]

This is so beautiful. Thank you!

[@elflosangeles4020]

One of your best BK!

[@kennethteo7974]

Beautiful and amazing realisation.

[@gabyinoz3868]

Wow. Beautiful. Thank you!

[@arcadia309]

Trank You for sharing!

[@main1314]

Thank you !

[@rawangharib7429]

I needed that (I needed that?) ❤ Thank you!

[@bobcrozier4047]

"If I have an enemy, that is on me; not the other way around." Sometimes that is true, but not always. Almost always, when there is an 'enemy' relationship, both (or all) parties have done wrong and helped to create or at least worsen that relationship. But that is not *necessarily* so. "The enlightened mind has nothing to forgive." How can that be true except if one were to say that they have actually and truly *already* forgiven all of the real wrongs that have been done to us by others *and* all of the real wrongs that we have done to ourselves. I agree that we absolutely *must* examine our thinking about others and questioning the post-it notes we stick on them. But that is not the whole story! Others DO do wrong sometimes, and real, honest, costly forgiveness is *required.* I have come to understand that real forgiveness means "the one wronged pays the price for the one who did the wrong." And there is *always* a price to pay. Forgiveness means "to cancel a debt," and the debt is as real as the wrong that was committed. Neither the debt nor the wrong are *necessarily* imagined. They are often very real. "The slap only hurts in the past." That is just not true! "There is nothing to forgive." That is just not true either! Physical slaps do *not* just hurt in the past. And just like physical hurts can and sometimes do leave lasting - and even life-long! - scars and wounds that do not fully heal (to a place of full restoration), social/emotional hurts leave lasting scars and wounds that do not always heal fully either. That is part of that very real *price* that is paid for forgiveness. "If I see you as an enemy, I am insane." Sometimes that might be true! It is entirely possible for someone to *imagine* another as there enemy when it has little or no bearing in reality. But that is certainly not *always* true. "I saw that nothing was true." Please help me here: what does this even mean? If *nothing* is true, then how could you "see" that (perceive that, understand that)? If *nothing* is true, how could you even think such a thought? If *nothing* is true, then by what standard do we judge something to be untrue? I am not asking this rhetorically! Please explain this.

[@marionskinner4168]

It is in the past but we keep rehashing it in our own minds. I don't believe we have to be friends with someone who hurt us but we stop suffering when we no longer carry the burden of resentment etc... you can forgive knowing that that person must have been suffering to do what they did or they simply did not know any better and move on from it. As the Buddha said "anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get ill" Non-forgiveness hurts you. I don't think forgiveness means tolerating more abuse or whatever it is it just means freeing yourself. I don't agree that you can see the person with a whole fresh new look and just forget what they did, that would be naive, expecting them not to behave in the same way again and even giving them the opportunity but I guess it depends on the situation. Maybe the next time they do the thing you perceive as being wrong you will act completely differently and the whole situation may shift

[@mandaravasundari6520]

Bob Crozier : there’s 2 types of forgiveness. Quantum forgiveness (it never happened) and forgiveness to destroy (you injured me, I will forgive you conditionally because of my superiority and wait for you to f it up again, cuz I’m keeping track....) The 1st One is the cause of peace. The 2nd One is the cause of pain, and defense, and defense is the 1st act of war. ;)

[@carmenl163]

I think you ask some very good questions, like you ask how it can be true that the enlightened mind has nothing to forgive. You say that is only possible if that mind has already forgiven all of the wrongs. I think the answer is something Katie is adding to that remark. She says: "It's beyond judgement" 9:55. I think that is the whole issue here. Good and bad are relative things. The only thing you can do, is see for yourselve what is good or bad and The Work is a very powerful tool to help you with that. In my own expierence, it turned out that a lot of bad things that happened, weren't so bad after all. And then there is nothing to forgive.

[@mariabackstrand1394]

Wonderful

[@katya1031]

Dear Katie, It is all wonderful in the theory. I guess I need to watch this video about 100 times more to get it. With perfect intellectual knowledge about forgiveness, I still cannot forgive someone who I perceive as attack me. I wish you can help me.

[@magnificentmask9601]

katya there is no theory...there is nothing to get. Intellectual knowledge is your our the worlds "problem"

[@sheilakirwan6900]

katya korolkova i don't think I would also get it just by watching ...doing the worksheets works .....if that doesn't work, there are facebook groups where people ask for help when stuck and get some great suggestions ☺☺

[@nadiasalvarani]

I loved! Where should I email you guys to get an online session with Katie!

[@contemplativecorinne8018]

"the enlightened mind is beyond judgment." Is that true? Can I be absolutely sure that's true?

[@colski3333]

Contemplative Corinne exactly

[@Gif7ed]

i love my thoughts about katie ^_^ namaste fam

[@chilichickSantaFe]

What meets the question is the answer to the question? He's crying and id don't get it. I thought I did before.

[@theveganroot7896]

i think the realization that the answer is within you. I think he reconnected to the light within him at the moment and the shell just dropped away after that.

[@AndrewLoui]

Unconditional forgiveness?

[@jacquifenn9928]

Moving

[@anneking8980]

I don't get this one

[@magnificentmask9601]

watch it again and again...then a few times more...Me too at first KATIE AND ARMIN GO SOOOOOOOOO DEEP HERE just incredible

[@sheilakirwan6900]

Anne King hi in my experience listening to these you tubes can just be an intellectual understanding unless we do the worksheets .....💙☺

[@Shoshanim222]

Put your faith in God, not in any one person.

[@markmarshall7972]

No consequences?

[@ArmstrongMarks]

Good work but Adi Da Samraj is the ultimate liberator

[@jnewmark41]

yummy