forgiving your parents

A case for forgivenesses being the most empowering option when holding childhood pain from our parents.

[@ayah3747]

When he said “they can’t fix the damage, u have to” I literally said “why, that’s not fair” and he then says “it’s not fair, it’s not ur fault” I immediately cried hard

[@pammypampam6920]

A hard cry can be very cleansing and healing to purge deep sadness in our sould!

[@taniapylypiv3323]

❤️

[@MissJessicaK-sl5li]

Please post new content

[@andrearush6209]

Thank you so much. This is very helpful.

[@brendapeterson7039]

Totally not fair, but in time we see there is hope. The choice to learn and change is ours.

[@kristabeni6037]

This is SO good, Matthias. You are helping me expand my mind and heal in ways I never believed to be possible.

[@MatthiasJBarker]

This is so meaningful to hear, I’m so glad!!!

[@CherieBaby1978]

@@MatthiasJBarker where are you located? My daughter (and myself) could really use some help. I know I screwed up as a parent for her, but I love her so much. I still make mistakes and disappoint her, and she's 22. I'm 42. I just want her to be happy and have a full life. She's an amazing and beautiful woman. I'm very proud of how she turned out despite my failures as a mother.

[@Heather.Nicole.]

Yes, me as well.

[@rokeithajacobs533]

Me too 👋

[@kylereeder4]

Everybody, repeat after me: "Today I don't have to fall apart I don't have to be afraid I don't have to let the damage consume me"

[@nadiaguled128]

My parents both failed me. And it taught me lessons I'd never forget.

[@natalinava4219]

I saw this intro on TikTok . And I just sat there and cried . I feel like I’m failing as a mom . This was a slap in the face but I am glad . I don’t want to be like that. Thank you

[@DScapo0]

I wish my mom would have done the same. You're gonna do great because you listen when you're wrong.

[@blenassefa8525]

I felt this a lot. @blenhomes is my IG DM me so i can send you the accounts that helped me (gave me the much needed guidance on parenting) and other resources that helped me. If you feel called to it ofcourse 😊

[@brieannac.6234]

I’m gonna be honest, I feel like coming across your content was really a sign from God. I’ve been really struggling with just this stuff lately... thank you so much for this

[@jacobscott7550]

Dear Lord, put this in front of the woman who needs to hear this.... I have faith that it is done. Amen.

[@abigailgallup353]

Honestly I feel compelled to just say this: I think that vulnerability and the fear of being open leads to avoidance as a coping mechanism to avoid pain/ feelings and this fuels resentment. This fear of vulnerability just furthers the isolation and avoidance from the parental figures and this leads to a wide range of unhealthy coping mechanisms usually in an avoidance format. This was eloquently put and I look forward to hearing the upcoming videos.

[@MatthiasJBarker]

Beautifully said

[@oliviarenae3326]

Absolutely!!

[@jesseandrewofficial1599]

The accuracy to this and the implementation of this towards my own life is there and is right. I dont want to show any vulnerability towards my parents as they dont accept vulnerability in their culture. So i was always scared and feared to be vulnerable in fromt of them. The thing is.. im always in pain, im always vulnerable.. the fear that I have towards them make me avoid them. Makes me not want to go home when they are home. Makes me leave the house when they are home. The amount of toxicity i feel in a house is too much. A house is supposed to be a safe environment. Why does it feel so hostile..

[@rochelle.dimovski]

When I say that I see your videos at just the right time, I mean it. I’ve been having a hard time lately, going back and forth with forgiving my parents and then I see this. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and advice. I couldn’t be more grateful.

[@nicolesnow7638]

As someone who has been trying to forgive adults in my life over the past few years while becoming an adult trying to raise two daughters and be a good wife... I needed this video tonight. Thank you so much for posting it.

[@stephanienicole427]

I grew up in a very violent broken atmosphere. Perversion, murder, no mercy, no forgiveness, no love. My dad was killed by his own brother and left me in the hands of 3 sexual abusers. Mom was there but mentally not. I lacked the nurturing and gentle touch of a mother. I was extremely insecure and self sabotage. I had a mother who cornered me and told me while she was drunk I was worthless and be dead one day like my dad. I suffered so much trauma and didn’t realize how bad I had until I recently seen your videos on TikTok. Thank you. I wept and wept in my car hearing this message. I KNOW Jesus is my healing and has been! Love you!

[@hellenmwendwa8719]

Almost same story hugs

[@ashleymartinez602]

I'm so sorry to read this. I feel your pain. I had a rough childhood myself.

[@elenakendrick6279]

I want to say that you are extremely courageous for sharing a topic that is raw and vulnerable. You are not only strong, but you are a warrior. You fought like hell to salvage your sanity and for that I admire you completely. You are loved and appreciated ❤️

[@stephanienicole427]

@@elenakendrick6279 thank you friend:)

[@rokeithajacobs533]

@@ashleymartinez602 same here hugs to everyone ❤️🙏

[@blackswan4301]

"I don't need YOU to heal me, I need ME to heal me." Mom, dad thankyou. I know regardless of whatever happened between us, you guys loved me. When I came on to this world and when dad held me in his arms, I know, idk how but I just know, at that moment you guys loved me like there's no tmrw. And that's enough, that's more than enough for me. Mom, dad, I forgive you. I forgive myself too. And all am asking is for you both to watch me as I grow myself step by step each day. Just like how u guys were excited for my first baby steps. Watch me grow in this society. Watch me take my little steps towards you. Just wait for me, till I reach you guys and hug you and say "it's okay. Am still ur babygirl"

[@graceandfaith2481]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/m4mlpmNvm9yYaas I sing this to my daughter ❤I love your comment so muc ❤your parents done a wonderful job raising you

[@janetmoore5145]

Real pain does exist! And is so damaging, I’ll be 39 and my healing is just beginning. Thank you for your videos

[@ArmyCarat28]

7:40 really hit deep with me. I grew up with a mom who was exactly like what you described and to fill the void she used my brother and I as well as others. We were like her comfort stuffed animals she took wherever she went. Then 6 years ago, my father was able to take care of us. The thing I find hard about this is my father is a family oriented guy who tries to give us love but we never got much nurturing so we didn't know how to accept it. I still don't. My mother doesn't accept that she failed as a mother and grew up thinking of what everyone else thought of her so when I scheduled a meeting between us for therapy, she sat their stone faced while I cried my thoughts out to her and denied everything. If it's possible, I haven't checked yet of course, but could you do a video on learning how to accept love? Thank you for this video🙏

[@Tass1919]

Yes, I need that vid too !!

[@amber241]

I had to learn that. Early in life. It was up to me to heal. And stop waiting for my mother to fix it. She was incapable.

[@crystalmonroe3904]

Can you please expand on when it's healthier to cut ties with toxic family? Specifically different forms of cutting ties? Is not calling them but answering if/when they call..healthy? My parents are hurting due to their own trauma but I won't let myself go down with them. I find not contacting them easiest for me but I feel guilty for doing it. Like I'm abandoning them. You have helped me so much. I can't thank you enough. You have been a saving grace.

[@graceelson1146]

this is EXACTLY what i am going through right now. you are not alone.

[@rokeithajacobs533]

Me too like I feel weird to just call or even be around. Lots of adults act like their okay with the physical, emotional,& mental abuse from family, but I can't pretend so yeah I'm scarred! If I didn't have God I wouldn't be striving to heal myself & striving for better.

[@glorytothealmightycreator]

I think that you don't abandon them but you are self preserving yourself. I'm in the same situation. I believe that's it's time to not feeling guilty for self protection. May God help us. Pray for them, but maybe it's better to stay away and without contact. Father Almighty, please help us. And please heal us. Thank you

[@shil6819]

Watching this high AF and life has never been so clearer

[@MMoody-xh7fn]

After the divorce I never felt safe at home. My mother was so abusive I did every after school activity so I could to avoid going home.

[@travellover1566]

Hi Matthew , l'm from Zimbabwe , just wanted to let you know that you are inspiring people from all over the world with your words and I believe that your channel is going to blow up

[@only1c2night]

Wow this is incredible. I’ve been in therapy (and far more ) for over 30 years and your videos have been incredible. I’m currently grieving the loss of the parents I didn’t have but so needed and this was so relevant. Thank you

[@aysiacarstairs3950]

i forgave my mother almost instantly, but i was never able to forgive my father, and this video has helped tremendously in finding WHY i can’t forgive him and i appreciate it so much. this helped me realize i don’t NEED to forgive him

[@kenzieeblakleyyy05]

When you talked about the parent wanting to fix the damage they had done, it immediately had me think of my mother in law. I try to explain this to my fiancé and he doesn’t understand, sadly because I think he’s becoming codependent. The way you explained it made perfect sense. Thank you for making the time to make this.

[@gilliankennedy126]

Right now this is tough for me, who’s trying to distance myself at age 24. I can forgive my mom but I can’t forgive my dad. But they’re still together. And shouldn’t be.

[@sharnimcheyzer585]

I was there a year ago.. since then my mum has left him and I have no contact with him. I hope the same thing happens for you, I hope you can find more peace 💛

[@claudiamcbride5460]

There right now. Same age and all.

[@Dan-od6vs]

Going through the same thing right now (I'm 22). I have no idea what to do . . .

[@gilliankennedy126]

Seems like everything was maybe headed in the right direction this year but then boom... pandemic

[@benny8638]

I am in this exact same position. I hope everything works out for you.

[@mandywilbourn2545]

My dad died earlier this year and it was so sudden. A lot of things were left unsaid between him and I. He was the hardest on me because I was the most like him. My dad had a hard time creating open communication and validation for me. I never felt safe talking to him about anything and always felt that I was letting him down or doing something wrong. Red flags are hard for me to spot especially in relationships. Forgiveness is hard when it’s one sided. Thank you for these videos ❤️

[@cassidymayo1043]

I came across this video today, and it’s exactly what I needed to hear. Word for word.

[@ericareneerousseau7701]

This is exactly what I needed to hear at the perfect time thank you

[@crazyslots94]

This put a lot into perspective. Thank you so much for making this. That last bit about acknowledgement is something I really need to hear. I had to learn that lesson the hard way, but this encourages me to stop wanting that and to focus on my own healing by myself.

[@rokeithajacobs533]

Amen & me too 👋

[@kayw.8974]

“It’s not your fault” thank you, I needed to hear that

[@delaneygalloup2232]

15:38-16:32 was WOAH, so spot on for me.... it helps the healing by hearing someone else (especially a stranger) say what you’re feeling.. and that it is normal.

[@elliedittmar1441]

Thank you for helping me see how and why my parents are the way they are. I’m 15 and my parents fight every other day and pretend it doesn’t exist in the days in between. It’s detrimental to my mental health bc I try to make them stop, I try to make them look at me shaking from crying so much, try to make them see that I’m having a panic attack but they just ignore their own child falling apart RIGHT infront of them. Now I know I can’t keep trying to make them see me, because I can’t make anyone do anything. Thank u so much

[@lyllirager5648]

Literally this came onto my recommended page at the perfect time. It’s amazing how that works in life. Thank you for your perspective

[@adrianeedney3896]

I needed this series so much! I watched the trauma video last night, and this is one of the questions I asked!

[@gracegarcia484]

That last aside... brought it all together for me. Thank you!

[@annaconant7881]

You have seriously helped me so much! I found you from TikTok and you have brought me so much more understanding of why I am the way I am! Thank you!!

[@TannerAustin]

I really needed this. My Dad died a month ago and our relationship was left on a bad note. I didn't talk to him, I didn't see him enough. This helped me a lot.

[@oliviarenae3326]

This video confirms exactly what I’ve experienced/feelt around my trauma with my mom. When I lived with her in an abusive toxic household and addressed my trauma and her role in it she was defensive/unsupportive. it made it INSANELY hard for us to live together. As a minor I had to move out and figure things out for myself bc I couldn’t stand living with someone who had abused me so much but couldn’t admit it. ALL minors plz take his advice to go to a school counselor/trusted adult bc often times ur parent may not be able to handle that confrontation in a manner u will like. DO keep loving yourself, telling yourself what happened to u is not your fault, but REALIZE your healing journey must be done by YOU. YOU have the power now. ❤️

[@jessleigh2430]

I am 36 years old and you just completely buttoned up my every single interaction that I have ever experience with my mother and all of her siblings. We were forced into close relationships with her brothers and sisters. Not one was ever a healthy relationship. Recently I moved 800 miles after realizing that this cycle was completely destructive. I was tired of being emotionally used and discarded as a way for others to hide from their own guilt and pain. Looks like I have some work to do on myself... AGAIN! Lol I swear when you heal one area another moment of healing presents itself to you. Thank you so much for the work you contribute into the world. You are appreciated!

[@savannahzenor6745]

I’ve definitely needed your videos. My mom and I have always been rocky and she’s done a lot to hurt me and betray me yet wants to force forgiveness yet when I say no to forgiveness it’s all hell. I appreciate this!

[@kellylee9296]

Thank you for this video, Matthias! I’m really looking forward to more on this. I eventually just cut my parents out of my life completely for my own sanity and peace. I’ve been in therapy for a year and 3 months healing from my childhood trauma. I seem to have no issues forgiving some people, but I REALLY struggle with forgiving my Mom. She hurt me sooo deeply. It’s really hard! I know forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to trust them, it just means that you are not letting them own you. But still, I find it so hard to forgive her.

[@amayahb7504]

I can absolutely relate, you are not alone. I too have soo much rage & resentment towards my mom. Therapy is slowly helping but it’s going to take a long time.

[@sweeeeetcaroline]

I find such comfort watching your videos. Thank you.

[@shannonchuang5412]

I cannot express how much I felt like you knew my life. You explained it completely on point and you helped me break it down why I’m so angry at my parents and why I cannot tolerate them sometimes. I love them but sometimes I have a short fuse with them because I have this debt you described. I believe they know now that they screwed up as parents and now they are trying to be involved in my life and criticize what I do, which isn’t shortening my fuse with them. I have vomited that anger on majority of my relationships and I was so confused why I kept doing this. I was basically vomiting their debt on my relationship. You’re right, I need to forgive my parents by starting with me. Please make more videos. You are helping me understand so much and I wish you made these videos 15 years ago lol. You are the greatest! I thank you so much!

[@katymccully8664]

I had a mother that I was never good enough for and a dad that didn't have much to do with me. I'm 39 and haven't talked to my mom in years. A couple of years ago I decided to forgive her, not for her but for me. It does give me freedom and yes the pain sneaks up on me from time to time.

[@alittlejohn8516]

Mathias, thank you. I needed to hear this in the exact way you explained it. Thank you.

[@i_am_emma_g633]

I really needed to hear this. Sometimes it is hard to put things into perspective which makes it hard to cope so thank you for helping me get one step closer to healing.

[@nicoler7440]

This video was incredible. I am in therapy right now and seeing a therapist weekly but this video just expanded my mind so much. You made so many things make sense for me. Thank you. You are a healer. ❤️

[@Hiraeth92]

I was about to close but then the very end killed me. Cuase while I never needed to hear the yea I fucked up. I always just wanted "I am proud of you." I am happy I found your videos. Since I moved cross country I lost my therapists and it's been hard finding new ones. Your videos are helping me get through right now.

[@lolli23560]

Thank you for finally explaining what I have been trying to explain to myself for so long. “Its not your fault” made me ball my eyes out! You’re so right. This isn’t my fault and never will be. Its time to let go. Thank you 💕

[@willvbill1]

I'm so glad I found this. I still care and love my parents but I have a lot of unresolved resentment in this area.

[@YellowViper9]

As someone who is battling trama and working on myself to forgive my "sperm donor", this hit me so hard. It was very eye opening. Thank you for giving me another way to look at a situation and a teaching tool to help myself forgive, for me. Not for them, but forgive for my own sake.

[@anthonym9494]

Hey Matthias, I found your tic tok tonight and I watched one over why parents fail. I pretty excited to learn from your videos my guy. I’ve hit quite a rough patch in my life and I’m emotionally growing very rapidly and your videos seem really fit for understanding the struggles that life throws at you. So thank you for the wisdom and I wish you the best in your life :)

[@jadamccovey4307]

how do you forgive a parent that repetitively hurts you

[@SillverSpoons]

WOW this is incredibly well said. Thank you for putting words around this and a whole new level of understanding. Keep doing what you’re doing - you’re making such a positive impact on people’s lives with this!

[@M1JACupcake]

That first sentence hit close to home. I'm so glad I found your channel

[@M1JACupcake]

I really don't want to fail as a parent.

[@mind.over.madness8462]

You unpacked for me in 20min what my therapist has been trying to do for almost 3 years now..🙏THANK YOU!!! My 2021 is already looking better!!❤

[@rickiversen9813]

Thank you Matthias, this is validating, true and wonderful. We can and do heal ourselves and then we are the most grateful parents, we understand what we didn’t have but now have the tools and willingness to give, nurture and love our children authentically. What has really surprised me is that the deepest healing for me has come from the unconditional love of my child, that I am capable of accepting. What you are proposing is an excruciating and beautiful journey and you are right, we are best equipped to do it ourselves. I love what you have to say and how you say it.

[@perciousmatter7001]

Hey Mr. Matt I hope there are more people like you that I can look up to. You mean alot to me. I have never met many people like you. I wish you are healthy and have people who love you.

[@rokeithajacobs533]

Perfectly said ... I've dealt with this all my life & I talk to God, go to church every Sunday, plus sing in the choir!😭🙏❤️ All I can say is hey you are right no one can heal me but God & myself. Thanks Matthias 😘🙏🙏

[@enyataylor6081]

I have been considering approaching my father for several years. I was very angry because of things relating to me but also how he treated other family members. Your video has helped solidify the reasoning that I need to heal myself, and that approaching him might not be the best idea.

[@rachelsteele8676]

I am so glad I stumbled upon your videos. I needed this video more now than ever. Thank you for allowing me to see things from another perspective.

[@XxMiMiDaViSxX]

I'm thankful I found you on tik tok and it lead me hear. Watching tour videos daily is truly helping me heal on my own and help my mind to understand how to process my life.

[@monicac2466]

Thank you for this. My therapist has constantly mentioned that my healing is up to me and my parents won’t change more than maybe 20-25% at this late age. But I couldn’t grasp the debt portion of that point of view. Your video has honestly opened my eyes and it feels like a missing piece of the puzzle she and I were working on together was found and I can complete to actually start, and WANT TO let go of that debt. Thank you again.

[@twilights187life]

It took me well into my mid 20s and alot of prayer to be able to forgive. It was some what of miracle but all of a sudden the resentment was gone and that wasn't my story anymore.

[@BenefitBaby329]

I really needed something like this right now. Thank you.

[@aliasreed1266]

Thank you so much .... you inspire me to be the best person i know i can be

[@andiesmonster]

Couple things. Do you have a podcast? Also I was raised by my grandparents. I was abused in that household.I was offered an apology out of guilt when I was younger and when I was finally brave enough and realized I needed to set up boundaries I was offered another apology but again out of guilt and it felt like a bandaid. I know forgiveness is for myself to move on however I’m still working on wrapping my brain around that. Because I’m used to forgiveness being something to just move on from something. What you said about “you are the best person to heal from your pain” this was so validating especially since I’ve separated myself from my family and set up boundaries. YES about the avoiding their own pain. Avoiding that her spouse was an abuser. Avoiding how much harm that’s caused to her family. Avoiding how her decisions affected someone so greatly. This was SO incredibly validating and helpful for me thank you. I finally was able to mentally connect that the boundaries allow me to HEAL for myself and not communicating with them or try to make them see the severity of it is the right choice for me.

[@jamies8991]

Wow! The second portion is my relationship with my mother to a tea. Our relationship has become so toxic. And I am definitely an adult, I have tried setting boundaries. Unfortunately, it has resulted in having no contact with her because it’s what is best for myself and my marriage. ❤

[@rlylownick6383]

My mom stepped away from my family emotionally when something traumatic happened and it's taken her 6 years to get back. I live with my dad now and i parent myself. I just recently started forgiving my mom. It's hard and my dad helps in a friend way not a parental way.

[@jeanneanne458]

You are remarkable thank you ❤️

[@jennaraven7592]

i struggle so much with going to therapy because i didn't hit my child. i didn't have a sugar daddy around my child. i didn't choose meth over my child. i didn't go in and out of my child's life. I am doing EMDR therapy which is hard work, it's so hard and every week i have to relive my trauma. my family dismisses my diagnosis and my mother and father have never admitted guilt. i am eighteen years old and have been on my own since sixteen. that is not fair. this video helped me recognize my own cynicism. thank you.

[@andyirodriguez1026]

I saw the snippets on TikTok and this was just to beautiful.

[@christineallen2709]

Awesome talk. Puts many things in to perspective!

[@frizzie123456]

Thanks for that last bit. I keep hanging onto the want for acknowledgement that I know I'll never get. Mostly because I can't even verbalize what happened well enough for him to take it as fact instead of feeling. He's never helped me before, so I should stop wanting him to help me now.

[@angelasanford5808]

Wow first video I’ve watched and I have not one of the 4 things a parent is supposed to do and my life has been scrambled and nothing but trauma after trauma . I currently am dealing with bipolar 1 disorder ptsd depression suicidal ideations and thoughts ( second attempt victim) sever anxiety being stuck around a husband that triggers me daily a mother that does what you said treats me like a child and blames me for all of my life . I have a little boy who’s 11 he’s developing anxiety he doesn’t want to go outside he’s changed and it’s killing me . I’m so lost , I believe the answer is leaving this world I’m so ashamed because I was a great mom I gave my kids all of the parent expectations but the past year I’ve fallen apart . One just one lol aspect of my traumas is forgiveness thank you for this video .

[@virtuousmama6089]

Hey Angela all is not lost. I’m standing with you

[@oliviajae298]

God i hope this goes viral. Thank you for the last part. I keep thinking I need them to understand their role in my trauma. My biodad is humble but isn't able to be self aware and hold capacity. But he is willing and has suggested family therapy. And he's 65!! So there is hope. But my mom is trying in her ways which are very aloof and hurtful.

[@carmentyson8086]

U always hit the nail on the head. Thank you 😊

[@carmentyson8086]

@Discussout hi. I don't want to bother you. Your therapy is amazing. I tried to contact you with a text number you gave me when you were on TT. I try to move forward from all the trauma but it's impossible. I hate dwelling on the past. I can't seem to get it out of my head. Ok I'm done. Again I look forward to seeing your videos. Take care.

[@11layona]

This literally helped so much. Thank you.

[@mmeowningstar1240]

WHY ARNT YOU SUPER FAMOUS AND POPULAR YET?!! omg

[@aureum_]

Too many sit through the pain and ignore ways to heal because there are parts of healing that can be just too painful

[@kikipapagergiou9601]

You said all I wanted to hear, thank you ❤️

[@Xeno1997]

Thank you so much for making these videos and reaching out to people. I really needed this video and I don't have the money to see a therapist so these are so helpful! Thanks Matthias!

[@sliceofpiedudes]

Please put these on spotify. I'll listen to all of them. Promise♥️

[@elleabeille1479]

Brilliant. Thank you for sharing.

[@tedd6151]

I hope we can hear you from spotify too. Your channel is very helpful, I suffer childhood trauma too PTSD and diagnosed with Bipolar 2. I saw your video and as soon as you start the topic about it, the way you explain, talk I feel like I was the one talking. Actually, this was just what my therapist was asking me this afternoon, if I already forgave my parents, and then saw your new video. Very timely. Thank you. Stay safe. 🙏

[@kristinametrich4710]

This is great! Thank you for taking time to share!

[@andyirodriguez1026]

I want to say school thepaist help. I sought out for therapy myself in highschool. The school therapist brought in my mom to meet after school.. and realized there was a deep problem. She referred us to a WRAP AROUND PROGRAM that provided therapy for her and myself and a mentor for us both. Honestly, it's good for you. My mom is an old school latina where she believe therapy is for crazy people.. but she came around to loving it. And our relationship had improved dramatically. Please talk to someone 🙏❤

[@sterfry8502]

I want to say so much more and feel like saying thank you isn’t enough but. Thank you. Thank you so much.

[@tinyzap]

Found you on tiktok, your words have helped me immensely, thank you for sharing and making content.

[@kailablake6308]

I just had multiple break through watching your videos. You’re doing amazing!

[@nyaarya8805]

Literally found this on a night my own parent told me I’m a lowlife shit stain of a human being. It took me years to repair and heal myself from years prior of abuse (emotional and verbal) and to forgive by helping myself starting at age 11. But being 21 now and having this I just don’t know anymore. This video is honestly what I needed.

[@nyaarya8805]

I honestly didn’t know the flood gates would release so hard when you said “it’s not fair, it’s not your fault”

[@loggedout8572]

Here because I’m ready to forgive my parents even with everything they have done. I really don’t wanna leave my parents house with hatred in my heart towards them 🙏

[@julian072006]

I’m so thankful for discovering you. I’ve been in therapy for years and with your content it’s pushed me over the top. I’ve plateaued in my mental heath for a long time and just now recently made strides. Also on another note what’s your filming set up? Audio wise?

[@allykaty1997]

I NEED the video of how to set boundaries with parents!

[@micheleleveillegirard1015]

Amazing! Thanks so much. That's something I really needed to hear in that very moment.

[@milenam648]

It seems like my dad completely forgot everything he’s done while I was a kid, and it makes me so angry. How can I move on on my own? Do u have any tips for that besides talking to a counselor Bc he would prob laugh in my face if I mentioned it and I could prob never get myself to in the first place.

[@Apollocircles]

I'm in no ways a therapist, but sometimes when people regret their decisions, they just pretend they didn't happen. They're not ready to admit that they did wrong. They're not ready to accept the responsibility that came with their actions.

[@dimimousa3147]

My dad completely forgot everything he did to me too. It used to make me furious because I wanted him to acknowledge , to apologize. Now that I know that that will never happen, I am not waiting anymore and I am trying to heal my self.

[@alyssapuga288]

I feel the same way. I have brought up stuff with my mom and she said she doesn’t remember doing it or she was mad when she did it so she doesn’t have to apologize....

[@meganward4255]

BTW I go to therapy but I wish u were mine.. ur so passionate. And honest

[@katherined5964]

A step mom here. I know this was meant for children forgiving their parents; this so relevant for our family. My husband is acting codependent with his daughter who was 18 when she came to live with us. I tried to explain that feeling you are talking about/the chasm. I encouraged her to seek outside help and supports. She refused. It was almost two years of watching her punish him and him trying anything to make it right for her. It has been heartbreaking for all of us. Maybe worse of all; I am not sure, it helped her healing and it might have made her trauma more complex.

[@peterjohnson3592]

Thank you😭

[@judygalvez7888]

What is a parent to do when you recognize that you were insufficient and you feel really bad about it? How do you ask for forgiveness and mend the relationship?

[@GoogleAccount00]

Yes, children are looking the the parent to be the parent. The parent is the elder. Man up or woman up, and be vulnerable with your own child. Your child wants you to take the initiative. Just contact your child and confess, ask for their perspective; be ready for their feedback. It’ll be worth it!

[@karlacerbito3401]

You are helping me a lot Sir more than anyone else. Thank you for your vids

[@backspace12399]

Gosh iv been really struggling with this topic. I still live at home and I’m beginning to feel like it may be time for me to leave. Many excuses hold me here I guess but I grow ashamed of still living at home at 23. But I can feel the tension I hold for my father, it used to be pushed all the way down there but I started trying to be more of a self advocate. But anyway i guess I always used to just accept my dad for him as a person bet lately iv acknowledged him as a father and I guess I realize all the ways he let me down. It wouldn’t be such a big deal but it’s just I perceive that he wants praise, but I just really don’t feel like giving fake praise.

[@ibrahimabdullahi6898]

Hi Matthias. This is really educative and inspiring. I went through life mostly not knowing why I turned out to be the way I am, but your videos made me be self-aware and even push me to take steps to address issues that are within my control