Why Don't Black Men Want to Get Married? | KIngz with Kosine

[@keisdelicatesecrets]

People focus on money, stop sleeping with people and making babies with people you don't see a future with.

[@H1GHD3FF]

Birth rates are low so I think this is possible

[@sonyab2u974]

They use money as an excuse for lack of good character and being accountable and responsible!

[@trulyblessed5254]

Perhaps that why money was invented in the first place to discourage meaningful relationships and a purposeful life. After all the so-called founding fathers desire was to keep the institution of slavery intact at any cost🤷‍♀️

[@deedee4519]

Yes!!👏🏽👏🏽

[@gabrielle5701]

Exxxxxactly!!!

[@sundaibleu9515]

Please do not get married if you are not ready and stop having kids and not providing for them.

[@sonyab2u974]

Problem solved!💯

[@ftdcp4459]

Women, please stop having kids if you aren’t married.

[@Armed-Forever]

Ftdcp then they just won't have kids lol

[@sundaibleu9515]

@@Armed-Forever That might be best....

[@Armed-Forever]

Sundai Bleu they can't resist lol

[@Jebro439]

Yeah I need all my kids with me. I couldn't be a baby daddy

[@MrChelseafc2010]

Word!!

[@Jebro439]

@black wolf101 . I get it marriage is alot of work

[@piotrjeske4599]

Do you know that til the 1880s courts would automatically assign kids to the father during a divorce. And the mother would only get them , if the father was a danger to the kids or in prison or not there(for example worked in the navy, army or as a whaler) AND if there was a male guardian who promised to help with the kids, like the womans father/uncle/brother. If there was no such guardian and the woman wasn't extremely rich, the children would be sent off to the closest male relatives.

[@hgmtmusic]

These simps are not the reflection of most brother’s reality.

[@Fay1106]

This title should be black American men not black men overall, black men are still getting married worldwide except for in the USA

[@Tanyalapatrone]

Thank you!

[@Fay1106]

@Damsel do you have statistics to prove that? The vast majority of black men are still with and married to black women. It is actually still a small minority married to white women. Also in places like Latin America and Europe the ratio of black men to black women is not large. Also people leave out two whole continents which is Africa and the Caribbean which leaves us with billions of men married to black women lol who cares if some black men married white women the roles are being reversed with black women marrying white men as well but it's still not the majority. Let people marry who they want, who is for you will be for you and won't be looking for a white woman he will be looking for a black queen. Too many black women have this negative mindset and its not going to help u attract what you want.

[@Tanyalapatrone]

@@Fay1106 can't add anything to that statement. Facts! Black men aren't only in America. If they put it in context of Black American men I can understand. I'm an African girl, and not one day living on this continent have I had men make me feel unattractive because I'm black. My brother's partners are black. True there is interracial marriages and relationships in my family. But the majority of the men in my family have black partners.

[@mojo-eq4ln]

Marriage rates worldwide are plummeting, not just USA. Fornication is the new normal; marriage is obsolete

[@Fay1106]

@Quavion Davis negative, you Gunna tell me millions of black women hate black men? You are delusional. People like you need to stay away from the internet lol

[@Simlicity09]

I don’t agree...I feel the lack of representation isn’t an excuse to not get married...I think that’s the common line to fall back on. They don’t get married because they aren’t not disciplined in their mind or bodies or have self control

[@Yna-u3g]

As well, that lack of representation is the same for us women and it's a valid argument they're making, but, as you stated, still not an excuse, although the psyche is extremely fragile...We similarly lack the representation, for example, and typically end up like the women in our families...single mothers... Lack of representation has an effect on both sides

[@sonyab2u974]

Preaccchhhhhhh!💯

[@sweetcandigirl2751]

Yes I truly agree with you! And if you don't have that positive representation, be the representation! Don't look to others, be the example you want. Simple!💁🏾 ...to me it's just alot of unnecessary excuses nowadays! Smh...... I know a man who's parents have been married for 30 years and from what he's said they have always had a beautiful marriage, and that he admires them.....but yet he himself still don't want to get married, and really don't have a reason as to why, so that lack of representation is a bullshit excuse!!!

[@ronnie6696]

He actually said that as well “men cannot commit to one person” it can actually be both is what he said

[@Anti-democratChick]

Big facts

[@strawberryrain508]

Can you do a live about black fathers that are absent to some of their kids and only take care of the kids of the woman he’s currently with?

[@sickofit5547]

Exactly that truly the issue in our community. They destroying it with this mind set.

[@notesfromjmota5127]

@Brandon Somersall Facts

[@mariegarcia1108]

People don't get married because they're selfish and they need to be selfless the marriage will last as long as you make God your first in everything

[@ThatChainmecha]

Ah so I should get married, in which there is a 66% chance of raising another man's child and a 50% chance of divorce because that's gods will? Show me that passage in the bible anytime

[@trulyblessed5254]

mariegarcia1108- I agree with the latter.

[@Armed-Forever]

ThatChainmecha gods will with marriage is women being virgins, women nowadays have a dodgy view of marriage

[@Andrembramwell]

actually married men are some of the most narcassistic and greedy people i know. they love marriage because then they can gather other options on the side like they are single but they have the marriage as their backup option

[@DJnickels15]

Lies. God doesn't keep people from getting divorced.

[@lmbarnes3]

This is kid talk. Men don't see life in such narrow reasoning.

[@lmbarnes3]

@Gee Mo men vs boy

[@tiag298]

@@lmbarnes3 Exactly. Boys have a 8complety different logic then men. It's not even worth explaining.

[@mroie]

Like my grandpa said boy always have an backup plan just in case she goes cuckoo for your life.

[@deshawn1801]

Has nothing to do with kid talk just cause your a man doesn’t mean your obligations are to get married if you wana be a husband then do that but don’t bring down men who don’t want it and vice versa

[@mroie]

@@deshawn1801 Aman some people have to learn the hard way

[@keisdelicatesecrets]

People so quick to jump in the sheets with someone and not get to know the person

[@skyjack8541]

Some marriages out of that lasted for a very long time while getting to know someone only lasted a short time. Capitibility is what it is.

[@gorgeouslady5612]

My nephew got married at 18 He is 50 now and still married!.

[@melvina1992]

Fathers are given a special thing to give to their children. Y'all don't have a right to drop seeds in unhealthy soil. It's not fair to kids. Children are gifts from God. When we invest in them we invest in ourselves. Brothers take ur time with 💘. B blessed

[@TheMFTRUTH]

Dope gems

[@Cornbreadmuffin86]

Beautiful message ❤

[@Aisha_Davis]

Awesome

[@Anti-democratChick]

It's simple they don't want to be settled down and they want to do what they want to do and you can't do that married. No COMMITMENT. No self- control

[@garygreen7104]

What's the problem

[@jblackmel]

1. Divorce laws 2. Family court 3. No real measurable incentives for men.

[@femsareevil4410]

Marriage is legalized prostitution and family court is the pimp.

[@wiseguy240Winston]

Less kids born out of wedlock and not trying to get married before being successful.

[@slickwitdasticks4493]

This what I am on with my lady I plan on getting married this year. I was waiting till I landed this new job before even thinking of bringing up the topic with her. I can’t wait

[@olivionb]

Because for a man nowadays it isn't worth it.🤔

[@chrysanthemum3464]

This talk wasn’t long enough! It was such a sweet thing to see how much Poo Bear adores his wife.

[@LoftusBlake]

Why would black men or anymen in general want to sign a contract with someone who gets rewarded for breaking and the data shows that they constantly break it.

[@sheldonallison5014]

Black men come from broken homes, so either we marry for the wrong reasons , or religious reasons, either way, when it doesn't work, u get buried financially, men feel oppressed already by the system and police, and unfortunately marriage could be another burden.

[@Whatsyourproblem99]

Girl what????

[@MsKali05]

@@Whatsyourproblem99 right lol

[@sjlewis271]

Options to what?! 🤣🤣🤣 I think men and women need to be honest about what they want. Do you want to be a parent and monogamous?! Do you truly want children or are you just doing it because everyone says that you should?! Marriage is more than a business deal. But most people are seeing it like that. That's the reason that nobody wants it! In order for me to even WANT children, I have to have it.🤷🏾‍♀️

[@MrLeonrobinson]

These Brotha's don't sound like a good reflection of Brotha's.

[@lionheart3074]

@stryfetc1 EXACTLY❗

[@MrLeonrobinson]

@Raphie Stegall just off the top, it negates what Brotha's want and have problems with. Sista's have issues. It makes it seem like they're this surplus of great women out hear and Brotha's don't want them for anything but sex. Lets keep it real. The majority of the time Sista's don't want who wants them, until their options are limited drastically.

[@supersaturn956]

@@MrLeonrobinson facts

[@bjosh02]

@@MrLeonrobinson it goes both ways brother

[@sonyab2u974]

Preaccchhhhhhh! Full of excuses and deflections!

[@hawdarkshooter]

Not everybody wants to have kids tho, I sure don't. If you one of those people, the incentive isn't there to get married. If your goal is to build a family eventually, then marriage is something you should think about

[@josephbishara4791]

I don't want kids either. My opinion is that people are being selfish when they choose to bring children into this messed up world.

[@tamaracharese]

Marriage is the #1 factor to generational wealth. Love is dope, but non-Black people marry mainly for economic reasons. They know for their community, they MUST have prosperous families. We don’t get that. Imagine how much more wealthy a Combs family could be if Puffy didn’t split his wealth in all of those different households.

[@Cahluvca]

Marriages have to LAST to build many now do not last. That is older generations that had 20 year marriages at a higher rate. We have to really be honest.

[@tamaracharese]

KLUV right, and to LAST you have to weather the storms. I’ve seen my parents fall in and out of love a dozen times. They have 40 years in. Commitment to the union is key.

[@NoName-oh6dn]

Black people in America don’t marry that often cause of lack of family values, were raised by single moms and nobody explained to y’all about responsibilities and commitment! Simple .

[@lathanwheeler3925]

I can’t not be n my kids life every day either.dat shit hurts like nothing u have ever felt

[@yolandadiaz2914]

I like how they were so open about not being able to be in their kid’s lives.

[@spencerwashington2934]

I appreciate Leon Rogers honest and transparent statement on being a dad w long hours on job. Along with making adjustment time for kids.

[@designandart6808]

I think part of it is most men are hitting their peak in terms of finances much later than women. Even if we go to college. Women are getting better jobs and have better pay alot sooner than a lot of black men.

[@Kreeplifeinc]

So ?

[@designandart6808]

@@Kreeplifeinc so most women want financially stable men. If a man is not stable at a young age and “smart” he will put off marriage until it makes sense financially.

[@grandcanyon2]

these folks don't get it, when women are young the majority are very attractive to most men of all ages, companies are more willing to hire them because youth and beauty sells. Women want men who have more money then, the women themselves. Women peak much earlier in wages and money made. So when these brothers start to make more money they have more mating options and are less likely to settle down with one women. At this time the same age female peers, are concerned about their fertility window and want marriage and children NOWWW, while at the same time competing with a larger pool women. Because said male peer, not only has more money then her at this stage he has more money then younger women.

[@manor-studios]

Trust you better be stable had to divorce my wife and the come for ever single penny you earned..best advice for blk men is pre nup. If she thinks u have something they will run you dry facts. Never will I marry again

[@nicitabridges-pinkston5565]

This was my first time watching the KingswithKosine conversation. This was a grown-ass Man conversation. I have been with my husband since I was 15 . together 37 years. Married 24. There are good men out there. A man who finds a wife finds a blessing.

[@rickrgg]

my wife was a night mare lol

[@rickrgg]

or a curse

[@mynameisnotimportant2854]

Are you lightskinned?

[@honeysmile320]

I think it's a fear of commitment and narcissism...not all black men are like this...im happily married to my husband(black man) for over 10 years and expecting our first child together...marriage isn't perfect. You gotta WANT TO put that work in. Build love together.

[@NorthPhilly-zr7xc]

As a black man's think it's because all black men think about is sex they think about it so much they can't commit

[@the8thchurch461]

@@NorthPhilly-zr7xc Womwn should STOP sleeping with men who are not maritally committed to them

[@H1GHD3FF]

Seeing generations of this bullshit. I think men of today understands what comes with it. It doesn't make sense to me unless you have kids.

[@highsocietypottery9381]

#ILoveit #Blessings

[@sym1531]

Congratulations 🥰

[@SONAAwareness]

Some have mommy issues or mental issues from childhood trauma. They may also look at marriage as black or white. All bad or all good! My husbands black and I’m happily married. His parents divorced when he was young and he wanted to do better than his dad so he choose to take a good route in life. On the other hand my brother in law has 3 kids out of wedlock and isn’t with either babymama. He has mommy issues and keeps jumping from one relationship to the next. Take your time to get to know anyone your interested in and make sure that they are mentally, spiritually and emotionally healthy. Their are many Good black men out their and don’t give up ladies!!

[@kmorris2371]

I attribute it to lack of commitment. A good marriage takes work. Having children here there and everywhere ain't cool.

[@melbuck194]

If you're in a relationship worth having, why not get married? You're building a partnership with someone you love. The flesh all over social media shouldn't impact your relationship bc that will definitely divide what you've built.

[@bigfellamike1913]

go watch divorce corp and then listen to men who've been taken for everything they have. FOH, no pussy is worth my sanity down the road. I don't condone having children you don't take care of, or breaking hearts, but I'll NEVER enter a long term relationship or marry

[@prettyloubey8411]

Did you get married to your girlfriend yet???

[@Oohesgotadirtymouth]

CUZ SOON YOU MARRY THE STANK SHE TREAT YOU LIKE THE BROAD MAN THERES NO BENEFITS IN MARRIAGE YOU WAS SMASHING HER BEFORE THE RING WHATS NEW?

[@musicqueen6617]

This is truly tragic. We have to do better than this. Children deserve and need to have the structure of a two parent household. Women and children need providers and protectors. Men and women need each other. The black community will never strengthen until we make a concerted effort to commit to marriage and stop this nonsense of having children with multiple partners. No one can effectively parent children who are residing in multiple locations.

[@Oohesgotadirtymouth]

I SWEAR I ONLY NEED A WOMAN FOR ONE THING

[@kellicrooms4485]

Some women make more than men. All women aren’t out for a guys money even if things don’t work out!

[@Jkon1993]

The vast vast vast majority of men make more than women in terms of a relationship dynamic The vast vast majority of alimony is rewarded to women. Child support is paid primarily by men. So even with some women making more. Society treats men as a working mule and the target of wealth Siphoning

[@kellicrooms4485]

I get it. But I have a girlfriend paying alimony. How do you feel about that?

[@Jkon1993]

Kelli Crooms it’s rare Tell me if I’m wrong there.. go ahead

[@sundaibleu9515]

Yes, black men can stop the lie of a black woman going after their money because most black women make way more money now so much so until they are usually wasting our time.

[@KMarie33]

I’ve always made more money than the people I’ve dated. I have girlfriends who are paying child support to their ex husbands .. that makes me very skeptical about getting married. I’d love to but I want to find my equal first.

[@smileyface4100]

Maybe some men are afraid of not being able to provide and living up to the standards of being a good husband. Most will never grow up and want to be with just one.

[@smileyface4100]

@Jamilla Dobson That's why I said most will never grow up and want to be with just one. They want to continue to mess around and make multiple kids.

[@sonyab2u974]

Some sure aren't afraid to impregnate a woman they aren't married to!

[@smileyface4100]

@@sonyab2u974 well good thing I didnt mention anything about impregnating any one.

[@sonyab2u974]

@@smileyface4100 No worries, I did😉

[@smileyface4100]

@MeTHoD then dont grow up and keep messing around and dont have kids. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Im not a therapist. Just me giving my opinion sir.

[@MisterGoodDad]

Because of divorce courts, easy access to sex, and the fact that most women are not traditional even though they still want traditional men.

[@MrChoirDirector87]

How about this, some men aren’t getting married because, that’s just our choice. There isn’t one specific reason behind it. Some men choose not to marry and that’s our choice. It’s not because we’re afraid of commitment, there’s something “wrong” with us, like women, men have the freedom of choice as well. If it doesn’t fit your narrative of what a man should be doing, to bad.🤷🏽‍♂️

[@jojosaylor8996]

Your full of ego and pride.

[@NorthPhilly-zr7xc]

@@jojosaylor8996 I think it's cuase all black men think about is sex

[@pinkroses6463]

Everyone does have a choice to marry or not... but when 70 to 80% of the collective of BM make a "choice" to not marry and not refrain from having multiple children that they aren't providing for resulting in debt to tax payers it's a big problem sir!!!

[@H1GHD3FF]

Who hurt you 😂. Facts bro. There are some men who don't see marriage as an advantage. Most of us don't want kids. It's the same for women too

[@ThatChainmecha]

@@pinkroses6463 30% stop aggrandizing

[@highsocietypottery9381]

It's about the conflict of sharing or being responsible for assets. Most Women don't want to marry because they don't see the benefit in assets i.e. taxes, homeownership, income-economy. Men have fear of loss on all levels. I've seen women use it for destruction and her own benefits till she realized years later, it wasn't worth destroying community. I hope this make sense, been a paralegal for 24yrs just retired on my oldest son's birthday.

[@GiGi-wm9ec]

👋🏾👋🏾👋🏾 Well said

[@NorthPhilly-zr7xc]

it's because all black men think about is sex hypersexual is what mess up black marriage that's all we think about there's no love or communication in between

[@ThatChainmecha]

This is iy

[@JezzyChristakathrilla]

You’re absolutely right how much is my peace of mind worth... if I find myself asking that question early on then it’s not worth marriage

[@delisadawnmariee5189]

I really enjoyed listening to this conversation. Thank you, Guys!

[@menaj2954]

Well it I think it's down to priorities , at this point the black woman should spend her energy on a like minded man whether he is black or not. It's hard to be a family man when you have no idea what that is, and was only raised by single women. The cycle is repetitive and unfortunate. Ongoing conversation with no solution.

[@tjandcj123]

So true. I tell the young black girls in my office all the time...if you want to be married leave pookie and Ray Ray alone....they don’t get access to you and especially not your womb. Focus on men ( preferably those who grew up with a father in the home) who are family oriented, doesn’t matter what color he is. Ladies please leave these men alone who want to keep you as a girlfriend for 3, 4, 5 years....they don’t want to marry you so stop fooling yourself. Also this comment is for women who want to be married...I know we have lots of women who don’t want marriage and don’t mind being a baby mama and you have a right to that choice.

[@menaj2954]

@@tjandcj123 Very true I think the true difficulty and challenge is the WAIT, which seems forever it is worth it. It is better to live and grow alone then to be in a relationship and sink lower. I pray for black women it is just harder for us, for those who want a husband I pray God will answer your heart desires and I pray mine will answer one day soon. Amen!!

[@kalebnbrown]

I enjoyed the conversation.

[@prettyloubey8411]

@@menaj2954 Hi hun , your comment is two years old , did you find your husband yet? I agree with your comment 100 percent

[@prettyloubey8411]

@@menaj2954 I’ve been by myself for so many years it’s so hard for us black women. Especially those of us who want to get married

[@FlavoredGenuine]

You can encourage us black men to get married and build strong family units and at the same time some of us aren’t interested in relationships voluntarily or refuse to do so because of courts being biased against men in divorce, family court, and child support. They are best explained why we are opting out instead of following the status quo.

[@Oohesgotadirtymouth]

AND A TON OF BLACK WOMEN WAS HXESSSS

[@tjandcj123]

It makes me laugh when black men talk about “ she gets half” in most black marriages the black woman is contributing half to the household monetarily during the entire marriage. Most black women who are married work. Most black men can’t provide for a household by themselves, they don’t make enough ...not knocking them, but it’s the truth and there are many reasons for it.

[@tiag298]

Exactly. Black men act like they are giving so much more to the world than Black women. It's not a competion, but I am gonna need them to be realistic so we can stay humble.

[@gunit06yardy]

Facts! I just saw a statistic that 60 percent of black women are paying half or the majority of the bills, so I am quite confused about this taking half conversation.

[@dontwatchmyvideoace1383]

Yall do oprah is the only black women to become a billionaire in the US? The richest black american is a black male. Yall do know black women are the most in debt women? There has been 8 Black american men billionaire in the US. 7 black american men billionaire currently in US . The first black male billionaire lost half his wealth to his wife and he is currently worth 600 million and his former wife is the second richest black women. There is only 1 black women american worth 800 million while there is 3-4 black american men that is worth 800 millionaire. Black men american have a better chance of getting rich than black women. Their are 3 black american men running fortune 500 company. There are 0 black american women fortune 500 company.

[@tjandcj123]

Quavion OfficialChannel no not bottom of the barrel dudes, just everyday regular dudes. If I’m making 40,000 and he’s making 60,000 and we combine we are making 110,000 together which is great. Him making 60,000 and trying to float a wife is very possible, him trying to float a wife and 2 or three kids on 60,000 is going to be a bit stressful. I still wouldn’t consider him bottom of the barrel.

[@oscarclarke2653]

It seems that most marriages (black, white, asian etc) have both partners working. Today's economy is too shitty to have only one of them work

[@the8thchurch461]

Women, STOP sleeping with these men before marriage!

[@sonyab2u974]

True!

[@habibawest9253]

Bottom line! 💯

[@the8thchurch461]

@Mansoor Ali Khan Only men are desperate. I haven't had sex for over 20 years and have no wish to.

[@clare2002]

Peace of mind is the key to a better life....how important is it to you?

[@TheMFTRUTH]

We fall for anything. It says based on census, how many people you know fill those out?? I work at an event center that marries black couples EVERY WEEKEND!!!! who not getting married???

[@genxnomad1978]

@Stanley White the host says it is because of all of the options of IG models😩🤷🏽

[@TheMFTRUTH]

Msgenxr Empath once again no shortage of thirst. These IG models (practically anyone with a phone) not special and you don’t have to be their friends for them to pop up on your timeline. My girl IG got more girls on than mine and she only post marketing stuff. That’s not real options. Most of them direct you to their only fans page.

[@TheMFTRUTH]

Msgenxr Empath in a way he right. If IG shows the type of women they are to choose from then a real dude is like ok she smashable but she got her goods up for all to see. A king is the only one privileged to see the queen naked. If everyone can see it then it’s no longer royal. It’s basic.

[@genxnomad1978]

@@TheMFTRUTH If marriage or even any type of commitment is what u r seeking, why blame IG and the 'models' for ANYTHING?? If u CHOOSE to spend your money on the internet on a woman who just looks a certain way, who you most likely will NEVER see in person, WTH is ur point?? A lifetime of paying IG thots is less expensive than being with 1 woman??

[@genxnomad1978]

@@TheMFTRUTH WELP🤷🏽 Guess u n ur girl got too many 'options' then LMAO😅 I actually have 4 IG accounts. I do not get that many ads. If I do, I delete that ish, even though I have no more man😎 IG and most other social media send u things based upon ur interests. If u pause on a pic or click on something, they are going to send u more like that. Thank me later👌😘👍🏾😒

[@lesliemartin2901]

You wouldn't have to worry about child support if you didn't have so many kids all over the place! Men, stop sticking your dipsticks in all those different oils before your engines burn out! Ladies, work on making sure that you're YOUR BEST SELVES before falling for the okee doke. I wish men would stop using "there were no positive examples of love when they grew up." Okay then, if that's the case, why do you need a previous blueprint when you can be the start of something new? That's like almost saying, "I've never had any examples of fatherhood before," but did that stop you from having children? C'mon now... we have to do better. I DO love the fact that these men are being transparent during this segment but my statement is for the men who keep using excuses as to why they don't have their "emotional houses" in order (i.e. don't have their shit together) and why they're not getting married. Women would respect you more if you're honest up front and say that you're not ready for that type of step instead of stringing them along KNOWING that in the long run, that's what most women want.

[@Yna-u3g]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@genxnomad1978]

👍🏾👏🏾💃🏾💃🏾✊🏾👏🏾

[@lesliemartin2901]

@Jamilla Dobson And then they'll be the main ones complaining about how they're always broke, don't have any money for retirement, etc. Pathetic...😑

[@angelicjames]

If you think Instagram models are options, then, you definitely need to stay single 😬 Lance Gross is forever fine, btw 😄🥰

[@tjandcj123]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾. Most black men are living in “lala” land. Some would even leave their wife and child for an “imaginary option” knowing they don’t have the money it takes to have an IG model...who only wants money by the way.

[@nikkione9901]

@@tjandcj123 if you aren’t a rapper or athlete, IG models don’t want you.

[@TheAlkebulanTrust]

Correct or correct?...They actually do. Just because you don't see it don't mean it ain't happening. Remember there are other Black men across the globe. And if Black men weren't getting married then explain other Black male celebrities that are married or are scheduled to be married.

[@itsrelativ3967]

Every woman I've dated and came close to almost being committed to came to a halt because I didn't like their peer relatives at all. So it's smarter for me to focus on my craft and business. I don't need no woman gossiping with her relatives about our marriage/kids. Putting personal business out there is what these Jezebels do all the time. So I guess no kids for me until maybe late 30s. I'm 32 now.

[@Princedrummaboi]

im 28 years old. from what ive seen out here, im slowly becoming more of a rizee everyday. jezebel culture is ruining our options. and they dont stop just bc theyre married. dont indulge in fantasy. Believe YOUR EYES. then to keep us on the shyt plantatiton women always say, 'all women are not like that' you knw what, its not worth looking to find out. you lose more than you gain

[@blakebarberi4828]

Really enjoyed this discussion. Glad they kept it simple and to the point concerning the pain you feel when you have to leave your child. The pain of having only court ordered visitation. Get a vasectomy and use protection. That covers it all. Case closed. I enjoyed the comment about having peace of mind is worth cutting that check in half. Be blessed

[@lisalove4183]

I was marred for 20 years now that I am divorced there nothing out there but players. Dating myself till God times.

[@deedee4519]

A lot of black men that were raised with single mothers do not want to get married. They were raised with no man in the house so they never had the opportunity to grow up in a family where two parents are married. Another reason which is mentioned in the video, black men in America have the highest fear of commitment out of all races and nationalities. And honestly i was not surprised. And they are known to have multiple kids by different women, which is a huge turnoff to me. As a black woman, i love black men and always wanted to date black men. But they never want to commit and was there just to waste my time. And i never wanted to date a man with kids but i took a risk twice and i would never again. NEVER! And im not saying they all are like that, im just talking about my personal experience. So i decided to date outside my race, it was so amazing! I currently date a hispanic man from a really good family, and its like im in heaven. He's all about family, works hard, has no kids, and practically committed to me right away. This is just my personal experience. Im sure there are a few good black men that don't fit a lot of the previous issues i mention.

[@patrickpepin8577]

God bless all my black brothers on the panel.

[@awareyah6146]

No disrespect but god is just a title plus there are many gods but only one TRUE GOD and HIS name is YAHUAH...listen to this video I did called GET READY TO PAY

[@inkyandthebrain]

Perspicacity no disrespect but this post is disrespectful

[@pauloskidane2819]

✊🏾 we need to show each other love

[@coachingwithkee2817]

Why can't more men think like Lance

[@drislady]

They aren't socialized to do so.

[@nakianadia7865]

But black women who date outside their race have the longest lasting relationships

[@wonderful49]

Not a lotta black women can do that..

[@asdfghjkl3003]

Thats only because it's very rare and black women who date out tend to be in a very high earning bracket. Wealthier individuals divorce less.

[@MsLotusBlooms]

​​@@wonderful49So weird that's the case.

[@laj4186]

Options? Hardly. Two people meeting with connection, love, values, morals, shared thought processes and lifestyles,creating new worlds together. Meeting someone you want to live life with everyday. There aren't as many options as the silly ego would like you to think causing you to waste your life/legacy and play yourselves with so called options.

[@sayvay1933]

Brothers DO get married and I'm sick of us using racists statistics to determine how we move. If the rest of the world went through what we have to burden they wouldn't get as much either.

[@pauloskidane2819]

I definitely feel like black people believe these “censuses” to much...

[@sickofit5547]

Jamilla Dobson they trying to gas light. Almost all my friends had single moms and knew their dad of course but they weren’t financial or emotionally their. Let alone a marriage. They don’t want no type of relations

[@goathan4975]

There’s not enough benefits in marriage anymore for black men in the age of feminism. It’s not a coincidence that before 1985 BW had some of the highest marriage numbers in America “coincidently” before feminism blended through to the community

[@MsKali05]

Why y’all keep regurgitating the same exuses? The benefits are family wealtj and having a legacy for your children and descendants

[@michael10613]

@@MsKali05 you can't have a legacy if the average marriage lasts 7-8. All your family wealth will be destroyed and scattered as well with the government taking a huge share

[@mimithomas]

I don't want be married myself I don't want stress and dealing with my soulmate family. I been through this before it was hot mess. Thank God I am free.

[@josephbishara4791]

I don't want it either. People are trouble. It's a huge undertaking to ask someone to permanently move into your house and stay there for life.

[@goonn337]

have fun living alone

[@katherinewelton7286]

Need more spiritual GOD fearing men. 🤔🙄

[@Cahluvca]

@Love 23Amazed Alot of deflection Olympics in our community. Too much battling and being competitive energy. In my opinion its the reason those that do marry barely last anymore

[@amp7420]

We have options as well!

[@TheMFTRUTH]

You think you have options.

[@neesha918]

That's RIGHT Lance Gross #realmanspeaks

[@Yna-u3g]

@@TheMFTRUTH What are you implying? Please expound

[@TheMFTRUTH]

Yana C Just cause dudes sliding in your dms don’t mean you have options love. Speaking as a married man, I see women I would sleep with but not marry. Even if I was single I wouldn’t waste my time. It’s a sesspool out there. Plus of casual sex but no real commitment or building.

[@TheMFTRUTH]

There’s always someone around to smash. Doesn’t make the an “option”. You got two millionaires fighting over you then you got options. Let be grown about the situation.

[@drislady]

Great conversation fellas!!! Rotimi, you are very wise.

[@tracynichole_c]

I love how the men talked about building with their wives, loving their children and being accountable. More of this please ❤️

[@Princedrummaboi]

are theere any panels of the women doing this on fox soul? i just would love to see the contrast

[@Oohesgotadirtymouth]

IT'S FOR KZbin SOME OF THESE DUDES PROBABLY DONE BEAT THERE BROAD B4

[@MichaelMichael-np1ev]

All of you gentlemen have a pointbut what's even sadder is that these we as a child you go through things with your mom with your dad when they're not together but also you have to deal with attitude specially when the dad is not in the household because their mom is angry with them so therefore does a kid get double the trouble and then on top of thatnot having that other parent in the house or around you to show you love you look for love in all the wrong places which is another situation in another incident that's going on in the world today is with these kids it's just a sad situation all the way around because some women have a lot of issues and don't understand what they do to children is horrible

[@genxnomad1978]

@Michael Michael I am so sorry that you went through what you did in childhood. However, this is really not the norm. Most of the time, yes, it is the woman who ends up a single parent; but also, it is most of the time that the mother has unconditional/more love for the child. It is really not typical for a mother to abuse her child due to the absence of the father, although I do know that it happens. So hurtful to hear that you went through that. Wish we could talk more.

[@MichaelMichael-np1ev]

@@genxnomad1978 it's okay it just made me a stronger person

[@lynnbland4524]

This was amazing

[@CatCat-hc8dr]

My partner at the time said he always wanted a child and he kept begging me,I really thought he was agood man. He supported me throughout the pregnancy, untill when the baby was born he became distant and his family had to beg and push him to visit the baby. And it continued for months, one day I moved far away without telling him. He now messages me every day begging to know where I am and he deeply regrets neglecting us. You don't know what you've got till it's gone.

[@sharonjo7630]

This actually reminds me of Michael B Jordan. During his interview with Lance in 2016, he stated he eventually wanted a wife and family. This was before he filmed Black Panther. However, 2 years later while promoting Creed 2, he stated in a magazine article that he wanted to accumulate generational wealth to make sure that he, his future children, his parents, his siblings, and his future nieces and nephews were set for life. He made no mention of a wife.

[@reneebenotmusic]

Thanks for having this discussion.

[@amanofgold38]

The first lie married couples tell each other, "till death do us part".

[@yourstrulytonya3002]

It’s great to hear this advice. I advocate for doing the extra work, research and self-examination as much as you possibly can, to make the best decision for a spouse. If you believe you in the Bible, you know Marriage is till death do you part. So, make this commitment with wisdom, knowledge, Love and joy.

[@jbadams56]

Because we want peace. We can do bad by ourselves.

[@frankwhite000g6]

Why black men not getting married all you got to do is look at the rules in family court

[@genxnomad1978]

WOW IG models are OPTIONS?? So you would rather keep paying for randoms than...nevermind. Some hotD guys will never understand or grow up.

[@VySharieff]

Yep that’s how they are😒 plastic surgery is a thought now😕😂

[@bigfellamike1913]

What are you talking about? The fella who said it was currently single, of course the models are options for him...??

[@ChrissyAnn85]

Lol yeah they are options to celebrity men like them 😂

[@EmpressRi5in]

@@bigfellamike1913 EVERYONE HAS OPTIONS SO THAT ANALOGY IS PRETTY MUCH IGNORANT

[@kalebnbrown]

That was a great discussion!

[@heathernelson8560]

I think that 1st w need to understand just because we can have kids don't mean we are meant to be parents. What can you teach them if you don't take the job seriously. Being married is also a serious step. I just feel that we don't do enough research on our significant other or pay attention to their flaws. If you can't do that you already failed. Everything that is worth lasting will take work. If you don't give up watch what you can accomplish. (With in reason though)

[@ThePurplePillPerspective]

There’s something not being discussed here. Many men look at women for means of pleasure. Once that is your main goal it’s hard to shift to husband. It’s deeper then this. Which is why I will be doing a few podcast on the subject.

[@drislady]

Awesome, looking forward to it.

[@anthonysparks9910]

Smh you brothers are talking my life yes it hurts no being in the household with your kids I'm going through this right now

[@antares3097]

Let's be honest, the real issue is the marriage/divorce laws...🤔

[@marlonbrown5763]

Why am I going to give anyone half of what I earned I don't even like paying taxes

[@twilightstar9973]

And on top of that if you divorce* and you earnt more during the marriage you have to pay your divorcing* wife's lawyer's fees and give up half of your pension too lmao

[@chicosworld]

The person u marry isn't the same person you're going to divorce so always protect yourself if u do..be damned if i lose all my income just because u not in love or bored...plus imo its easier for a man to be single than a woman

[@Yna-u3g]

What income?? Are you a millionaire???

[@chicosworld]

@@Yna-u3g no but im living great comfortable and enjoying life ...and what i worked hard for is mine to keep....are u a millionaire?

[@docshay7328]

@@chicosworld And like that, they disappear...🤣🤣🤣 They really think all black men are broke.

[@deshawn1801]

@@Yna-u3g what does income have to do with being a millionaire 😂

[@Yna-u3g]

@@docshay7328 Collectively you are...

[@perrykeshahwalker5321]

Man I really dig the transparency in this program. I've had the privilege of being married to my wife for 24.5 years. When I met my wife she had two children and we went on to have two more. All of of my children see me as dad. I never had an issue with the two oldest biological fathers because they weren't around. Even if they were I would not have prevented them from being apart of their children lives. But on that note of why brothers seem to not want to marry, I think it's fear that they may fail if their parents marriage had failed.

[@perrykeshahwalker5321]

@Material Girl thank you.

[@MsKali05]

Love your personal story but thats a cop out about why men don’t wanna marry

[@perrykeshahwalker5321]

@@MsKali05 I understand what you are saying however when I discuss this topic with young men, fear of having a failed marriage is the number one reason they give. It may be a cop out but one thing about males is that they don't like admitting emotions of fear. I don't agree with them but I try to empathize with them

[@MsKali05]

@@perrykeshahwalker5321 its a cop out cuz most these men did not see their mothers married they use that as an excuse and this is why i tell BW to date internationally We need to stop WAITING for BM to marry us i have friends went off to date African and getting married within a year

[@tocool2x27]

You married a woman with kids u dumb asf

[@kuunami]

Because a lot of the women see men as a backup plan rather than a husband and partner. Not very appealing to marriage minded men.

[@MomsBusiness74]

Scary cats 🐈

[@Gigilovehugs]

I started dating a 50 yr old black man that never been married and his brother is 53 never married my boyfriend not wanting marriage until now has been on my mind a lot

[@jmjenkins97]

nurse with a purse

[@nonilovechild5524]

Due to an feeling of entitlement to sex without commitment so they can brag about being a player at the expense of our daughters. Parents get involved in vetting our daughters dates about their intentions like in old days.

[@shan7180]

This is the issue, black men don't want to get married, when I was single with no children, even in a long term relationship; men did not want to treat me right and they did not want to get married. Men always had a issue with maintaining basic things like a roof over their head and a steady income.

[@kresivarivkah612]

As black women, we do not have to marry black men. We do have options. I am married to a white man. My parents were married. My grandparents were married. My great grandparents were married. My Uncle is married. Essentially, marriage is the norm in my family. But, we do have other options besides black men.

[@ojohns969]

Hm.. are you really black... suspicious.. I'd rather black men

[@Oohesgotadirtymouth]

GOOD WE DONT MISS YA

[@Crtiphe]

Y’all only have sexual options considering y’all are the reason the average African American has European ancestry. Wm don’t even marry y’all at 1%

[@MsLotusBlooms]

Very true. I am engaged to a white man. He put a ring on it after only 1 year. 😊 But I'm not eager to save other bw. They choose their outcomes.

[@midnightvelvet8077]

8:28 poo bear sounds pathetic. "It was so attractive to see my wife work and not ask me for anything" then why the hell she need you? Many bm think like this. They like women to be go getters but complain when we are too independent. Make it make sense.

[@sturmbreakers7817]

Midnight Velvet No the broke think like this but most black women are too masculine and black men have been taught all their life to like it. I once told a group of guys all the things my wife did for me and they replied they don’t want no woman they can control but a real man doesn’t have to control. I called them bi**ch and they shut up 🤐 I wonder why?

[@Yna-u3g]

@@sturmbreakers7817 .MOST Black women are FAR from "masculine"...🤦🏾‍♀️

[@sturmbreakers7817]

Yana C no they are masculine. Been around the world and have yet to see any difference.

[@Yna-u3g]

@@sturmbreakers7817 ...No...I am a "they" and I've apparently known a lot of OTHER Black women in my life and nobody can convince me that Black women are masculine, not even most of the Butch Lesbians who are more feminine, ironically than any of us...Unless we have 2 totally different perceptions of masculine, I don't see it...Now, if you're talking about roles, then most Black men are feminine because they're always comparing themselves to Black women and worrying about what women do instead of worrying about men things...I've never even heard non-Black men complain about how much make-up, hair, hair clips, attire, accessories, etc their women wear, nor have I even ever heard of them refer to not even their feminists as masculine...This notion is ridiculous unless I'm missing something🤔...How are you Black men complaining about Black women being TOO girly AND too masculine simultaneously??? Make it make sense! If your idea of Black women being masculine means they are doing things Black men should be doing, then why aren't Black men being more masculine and taking back their roles instead of, as Cynthia says, resting THEIR femininity?? Why are Blacl men so comfortable being feminine, if that's the perspective??

[@sturmbreakers7817]

Yana C I’m sure I have been around way more women than you. Black women do tend to be more feminine with white men than they do with black just as black men tend to more of door mat with white women. If you think butch lesbians are not masculine is probably why you don’t understand. You can’t be feminine when you got the boy hair cut and thuggish. If you think, talk, or look like Cardi B and the like then you are masculine.

[@sonyab2u974]

Taking half of what? How can someone take half if you don't have anything to take🤔...but yet those same men will create kids out of wedlock and abandon them!

[@sickofit5547]

They don’t see how this is connected to slavery and it’s sad. Sisters tried to tell them but now they not having kids anymore or just dating out.

[@sickofit5547]

Dont watch my video Ace lies lol. Tarji p, Sana Lathan, Vanessa Williams, vivica fox, Ryan, rihanna, most black actress and singers. You just like ghetto love and hip hop life styles lol

[@dontwatchmyvideoace1383]

@@sickofit5547 True I will give you that they are famous. I barley hear about them. Rihanna and tarji p , and maybe sana lathan is probably the only ones I mostly hear about but the rest I don't. I look at the shaderoom, hollywood unlock , baller alert and more. Baby mother gain a lot from these social media blog. I even see tv commerical and I never see most of them. I don't watch love and hip hop or ghetto shows.

[@bigfellamike1913]

you may not have money now but you may one day and if you divorce she can take half.

[@gck_replayzz1029]

LOVE THIS ❤

[@DBrown-vg1fi]

Well I work for the census and I am so surprised how many married black people I meet. I had no idea. I think the thing with citing the census is I find a lot of black people don't actually do the census. Thats why alot of census advertisements are black people telling us to do the census. So im not really sure about the 29% percent being married hopefully its more we just don't know about it

[@pauloskidane2819]

Thanks Sista!! We gotta be more conscious of all these “census data”.

[@DBrown-vg1fi]

@Jamilla Dobson Pretty sure they're telling the truth. There's no need for a mass amount of people to lie on a government sanctioned database that offers the option of "unmarried" partner. I know that you may meet certain black people who may call their partner husband/ wife and not be married legally but others who are affluent with certain socioeconomic status won't find themselves doing that, especially when it comes to a government based organization that can easily verify the information.

[@blackmanhoodeconomics1497]

The point made @7:25 was right Marriage is about generational wealth. That’s why married men are better at accumulating it. If that’s not what you want STAY SINGLE and PLEASE, don’t have kids.

[@amp7420]

We as women get scared as well!

[@NaNa-pp6bt]

Nobody asked

[@marvihara7279]

Then don't get married! Nobody asked you

[@joysimone6616]

You have to pay child support whether divorced or never married.

[@crooked52h]

Yeah but no alimony and no splitting of your assets

[@jmjenkins97]

@@crooked52h what percentage of BM are in a position where alimony is awarded please stop making statements as if they apply to the average BM these are wm issues

[@crooked52h]

@@jmjenkins97 median net worth for a black woman in America is $5

[@crooked52h]

@@jmjenkins97 and I literally just found out yesterday a friend on mines who’s a firefighter in NYC has to pay his ex wife $2200 month and $600 of that is alimony ! Just because you have a poorer circle of friends doesn’t mean we all do

[@antwandawson3275]

Not everyone is a conformist and prescribe to societal standards! These toxic heteronormative ideologies has so many people living in misery. I can do bad all by myself isn’t just some cute adage thrown around loosely. 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@omarbarnes6665]

Marriage has nothing to do with a man making the choice to stay with the mother of his child to raise the child together. A man job is to provide and protect his family bottom line ....

[@MsMeeSee]

Woman got options too it just comes down to will power & self control

[@MsMeeSee]

@Love 23Amazed Yessss

[@Oridginale24]

Love is grand but divorce is 100 grand.

[@biancalord488]

Not when there is zero in the bank

[@bigfellamike1913]

@@biancalord488 Then I doubt you'd marry that guy in the first place???? lmao

[@biancalord488]

@@bigfellamike1913 usually, people marry others in their social class unless they marry up which is rare. poor people do get married

[@shan7180]

When the guy says 'they tried to keep me from the hurt'. This is a big one. I knew a guy that was married, had a child and decided he didn't want to be around and left. Strange behaviour to say the least.

[@Slim545]

We don’t wanna get married because our woman aren’t marriage material just like Kevin Samuels said just watch his show every black woman that calls in wants to argue think there’s nothing wrong with them and they got a bunch of baggage ! I’m sorry I love black woman but there the problem