Best techniques to STOP thinking about someone

[@not_yours_senorita11.11]

No more obsession no more desperation... Only a healthy detachment ❤

[@scottferguson9036]

Trade-in previous Obsession for Francesca the new obsession LOL. Had your joke. Very good information

[@s.k1127]

All I want❤

[@cartoonspace743]

How? Is this possible?

[@Deeepali_]

I saw u on shambhavi di's channel

[@adnan.one8]

us core

[@goofytunes1]

Out of dignity, I will not lose to my fantasy because I am too proud. Even if I'm obsessed, I will behave as though the other person does not exist. I refuse to sell myself cheap!

[@Rebecca-GLaines]

Tell ke you're a fire sign w/o telling me you're a fire sign 😂 lol, I'm earth, I CAN do that, but, I would rather say how I actually feel, that way, there are zero regrets on my end when they come back, I'm able to stand on my word. That behavior of not telling me the truth at the time I'm being honest will bite them in the ass EVERYTIME lol!

[@valleyofthedolls]

@@BL3SSed-Blissomg i am a water sign too! pisces and i relate to the op’s comment more than the first reply. i HATE expressing my feelings and my ego is HUGE lmao

[@valleyofthedolls]

are you a guy or a girl? i came across some of the comments you left in this video and they’re so relatable 😭

[@andreanavrg4415]

💯🤝🏽

[@shagynaz]

⁠@@Rebecca-GLainesI am too earth sign and clarification is very important for me so i say what i feel for my own peace of mind bcoz I don’t wanna regret in future that I didn’t put my point and no one can blame me later saying how would i know.

[@push_yourself_]

Brooo... This girl literally saved my life😢❤

[@nataliagonzalez6745]

Seriously

[@Vener349]

Same

[@knot_kisses]

For real

[@jolu1621]

True. Wish i knew this 20 years ago

[@samanthabv]

Me too!

[@noremac0123456789]

I don’t feel like I have to fight for love but rather, because I was mostly ignored as a child, I accept and feel more comfortable with that type of treatment in a relationship. Someone who is unavailable, disinterested, ghosts me, disappears suddenly is immediately on my radar and I “love” them, want to suffer for them…it’s sick, really.

[@vikramkanth8086]

My story is so similar

[@Cooltink101]

Same here

[@a_proud_hijabi_girl]

My story is so similar but I am tryna heal myself and my attachment style

[@arnowillekes7979]

I know that ‘sickness’ too but i refuse to believe it as more than a deeply ingrained coping mechanism…i have noticed more satisfaction in interactions when i and the other are not trying to trigger each other…outside of a the all-important joking relationships of course! 🙏🏽👍🏽❤️😋🤣

[@Woburngirl68]

I do the same thing!!!..so hurtful.

[@Rebecca-vt7rp]

woah, this has definitely opened my eyes. When you said "i'm sure this isn't the first person you've obsessed over" made it hit home. it really isn't. wow. thank you for opening my eyes. i've done a lot of reading and research and have studied psychology but the way you've explained this has been like a personal therapy session. Thank you so much. i'm going to give you a subcription

[@chrishaynes599]

Are you suffering from Limerence?

[@Rebecca-vt7rp]

@@chrishaynes599 100%, trying my best to cope with the pain and not reach out. It's really difficult but watching yt videos is helping me cope

[@KevvaPMcK]

It's SO different when you get older though. At this age you might obsess over that one person because everyone else has baggage or is absolutely NOT your type.

[@draapulus]

Summary/ Overview: 0:00 Intro 0:50 Why obsession happens - Escapism 2:02 Childhood trauma - Escapism, Everyone has something 3:03 Fantasy - Idealization 5:59 Everyone is flawed - Projection, goals, meaningful life, take care of yourself, have choices, escapism - savior from bad boring life. Social, connection, community, needs, wants. Validation. Work on your self-worth/ yourself. 14:27 How to stop obsessing 1 Become conscious, its not about them, its about you, your unmet childhood needs, your fantasy. 2 Start seeing reality, get grounded into the present, reality check them and you. Get to know them, 'un-mystify them', 'un-fantasize them'. 3 Meet your own needs, what brings you meaning, solve/ work on your problems, self-development. Goals, work, career, hobby, community. Grow. Get focused. 18:30 Summary/ Repetition of the three.

[@marguskiis7711]

Just don`t be in love. Simple.

[@razz0dazzle]

Wooo thank you so much for this 😅

[@YukonFox1972]

“Shared fantasies” with narcissists are tough to break away from. This is probably why so many of us also develop obsessive trauma bonds. 😕

[@lasvegasplease]

Spot on

[@Magnificento03]

I always thought someone will come and save me and I still think. But I am trying to manage it by believing that I am that one person.

[@Ida-Adriana]

🥹

[@Ida-Adriana]

That is beautiful, my darling

[@Magnificento03]

@@Ida-Adriana thank you 😊

[@lbuzzmaroc8944]

One of the most subtle traps to fall in is when a person used to be attracted to you while you probably don't feel the same way towards them, but all of a sudden all the interest fades away, if you are not aware you can fall into a big obsession trap that is a mixture of the forbidden fruit and curiosity about why the interest collapsed this way? What did I do wrong? Is there a chance for me to win the interest over? If you start following these thoughts you will fall into quicksand and end up obsessed with that person and that's going to be a very bad plot twist for you..

[@SinfulGoddess1]

How do you stop it when your stuck in that trap.

[@SinfulGoddess1]

Cause the want isn’t really coming from the heart or real. Yet cant stop

[@lbuzzmaroc8944]

@@SinfulGoddess1 The desire is coming from your mind not your heart once you understand there's nothing wrong with you and stop seeing it as a challenge you will not fall, tell yourself that you already won their interest and that's enough the challenge is over nothing left to proof you weren't interested at the beginning why should you be now it's just a doubt in your self esteem you should fix it through your mindset and not by trying to recover the trash you've already thrown and were already picked up by trash truck.

[@ashwinisharma7593]

@@lbuzzmaroc8944 Can you please help me because I find myself in a similar situation. If you are willing, i want to share my situation with you. Please help me as I want to come out of this trap. Pleaseee

[@allyzamiesa]

​@lbuzzmaroc8944 wow.. that's rough.. but really helpful.. thanks for the tips..

[@cinextvisuals]

I finally feel released bc you made me realize that it's not her, she isn't a unicorn. She just resembled the same avoidant style as my mom. Now I see that and I can accept that I created a fantasy of trying to feel secure bc of my mom. Now there is less power in it so thank you.

[@arnowillekes7979]

My mistake is that i get triggered into a saviour complex; i couldn’t save my mom as a young child from her traumas and intense grief and will always try to replicate the situation with anyone who seems similar to her…sad but true…self awareness and ‘proper’ management of my triggers are becoming essential

[@Munchkinbaby777]

Oh God, you hit the nail! I used to believe that my ex had this fantastic life that he didn't share with me (because that's how my life is,but I always shared and tried to invite him into it) and then I realised- his life was hella boring 😂😂😂 Now when they act all misterious I just assume they are that boring that they have nothing to say

[@KhadijaRanjha-u2s]

This just helped me a lot thank you for sharing ❤

[@Kavitha2324]

😂 thank you same case🎉

[@mohammedadnan9503]

Needed this so bad.. Thank you.

[@sallytemraz8614]

You are very wise and I think your channel is underrated!

[@beulahveena]

Yes true

[@jemimaoduwaiye]

I agree

[@IAmMadMattDog]

I think this is exactly what I needed to hear. Framing it an issue with myself and not another person really helps put it into perspective.

[@Sam._.8]

I don't know why I'm crying while watching it😭😭

[@celestial5036]

Because you are hurt and not ready to let go. You know she is right. You will heal too ❤

[@Lavenderfairy1905]

Me too I cried for my inner child❤

[@Thesebibbles]

We’re going to be okay :,)

[@arnowillekes7979]

You’re inner child is wounded and it recognizes this narrative as authentic, wish you courage 🙏🏽

[@AmritaMallick-nv9uj]

How are you? I'm in same situation😢

[@twinsoul5156]

This has been …. Surreal. Every single thing you said was like someone put a mirror to my life and I was made to see it through your words. Every single thought pattern, actions and behaviour matched with what I have been doing all life long. I guess acknowledging it is the first step, then comes the acceptance part and then hopefully I will be able to believe enough in myself to even try to change this. Hopefully 🤞🏻

[@twinsoul5156]

Also, forgot to say - Thank you. As painful as it was to discover this about myself, I needed to hear it.

[@Vener349]

It was the same for me 😊 … good luck to you in your journey

[@nekotamo1851]

same. it sucks

[@msbonni3408]

This is so clear and true and when you said we look for distance because we didn’t have closeness as a child. It’s not about the other person. #wakeup

[@FragmentOfInfinity]

For me the person in question is a coworker. She is happily in a relationship (with the PERFECT man, I must say) but she stops by daily so we can have deep meaningful conversations and also just laugh and share our day with eachother. She's an amazingly compassionate and gentle woman and is almost like the workplace therapist, and she's loved by everyone. I think she sees me as her brother due to our similar childhoods and trauma, and so we often talk of therapy or aelf therapy and our methods of coping and healing. I love this woman from the bottom of my heart and I want nothing but the best for her, flaws and all. But when we leave work everyday I see her walk off and I can feel my heart ripping open in pain from her absense. This is definitely obsessive behavior, and I just try and remind myself that she is taken but I cannot help but feel intense affections for this girl. Because I havent ever really had a girlfriend, there are probably needs I have that arent met. And the internal struggle to ask her to give me space at the risk of disclosing my real feelings and alienating her permanently is always looming. But I'm trying my best to heal the inner child and move on

[@emanuelmajstorovic9457]

Just wow . I was wondering why I am obsessed with her even after seeing her flaws and red flags and her being completely emotionally detached most of the time ,now I get it . Thank you

[@dmegamanful]

I never noticed that I was obsessed until I started to think of someone constantly and fantasizing. It made me uncomfortable but also curious. But when it started to make me feel sad, I felt it wasn’t healthy. After watching this video, I know what I need to do now and I really thank you for that. Everything seems so much clearer and also it did play apart from stemming from my childhood. I’m shooked 🤣 we humans are something, huh?

[@sal_onii]

Girl you literally saved me! I had been consuming so much crap on the KZbin such as Soulmates twin flame and manifestation shit I myself do not believe in but gave into it. I just needed to hear the advice you gave! Thank You so much! It all does stems from childhood as I look back now and yeah its NOT the first person I am obsessing over😢

[@midoriokuizumi3381]

You have no idea how you helped me. How you "openned my eyes", I just had a "mind blowing". This video is AMAZING!

[@albertpelletier9415]

This is the most valuable video I've seen on this topic. I wish I had this knowledge 50 years ago. It would have helped save me a lot of needless suffering and heartbreak throughout my lifetime. It's not turnkey. It still takes conscious effort and work. But my God, this is valuable information. Thank you, so much for producing and publishing this video.

[@paris_310]

You just healed part of me and that is very hard for anyone to do. You’re brilliant thank you 🙏🏼 ❤

[@charade9971]

somenone had to put this in such a simple and straightforward way without overexplaining for it to finally register in my traumatized thick brain. Thank you! You have made the next steps easier

[@APP6327]

Thanks you for explaining exactly what is the root cause of obsession. Thank you so much 😊🙏🏻

[@marcellaoreilly2730]

Keep thinking about them until it makes you feel ill you will literally be “sick” of them x

[@ramzirouhana6680]

Lool... doesn't work for me

[@marcellaoreilly2730]

@@ramzirouhana6680 give it time x

[@suncat9]

You hit the nail on the head for me, Francesca. You know exactly what you're talking about, and everything in this video applies directly to me. I think you're a gifted psychologist.

[@sahraa.6246]

thank you so much for your work! you are really saving lives out here.

[@goofytunes1]

This won't change anything in my life. I just have to struggle with this shit all my life. I think looking at myself as the priority is the only way to go for 3 reasons 1. The other person does not care 2. I'm indirectly telling the other person that I have no options and life (humiliating) 3. Their is someone out their that is not on my level the other person is obsessed with but was aloof enough to win. So I cannot afford displaying neediness because I refuse to be a plan B in comparison to an inferior person. It's a disgrace to my ancestors.

[@ContentWithNoContext]

How do you know if the other person does not care?

[@goofytunes1]

In every interaction their is always someone that cares more, and the more the interactions go on the more the other looses interest, so it's like a trend that eventually places person A or B to not being interested, one has to always place themselves as the one who truly does not care, and whoever does not care about you cannot be an ally, so looking the other way becomes the only option. imo.@@ContentWithNoContext

[@valleyofthedolls]

@@ContentWithNoContextwe just assume 🤭

[@Kressa1111]

@@ContentWithNoContext Wouldn’t matter if they cared or not. You care about you and obsession is an unhealthy, delusional state of mind. Making excuses for it is only going to keep you in bondage.

[@Cherry-mp2qn]

Really love how you explained the root cause, needed this reminder. Thank you!💕

[@suzuissushii]

got real hard reality check 🤦🏻‍♀️ thankyou I really needed this

[@cj-gc8gt]

Right to the point. I realized that i need to love my self first and find my self worth and not fantasizing or obsessing someone.

[@keniaoliveira4048]

😢 my whole life in this video ... now I understand perfectly what happens with my relationships ... and can get over this poisoned dynamic which controls my life and made me so unhappy! From the bottom of my ❤ THANK YOU SO MUCH ❤😊

[@apekshagandotra6104]

Best video I have ever seen👏 A nice slap of reality and much needed. Thank you❤

[@nih1107]

you are extremely intelligent plus fluent with your super conventional thoughts and opinions ❤

[@alessandracamaro443]

This girl is amazing, I see her videos and it’s like she saved me

[@clementeruizgordillo758]

You explain the first subject between 8:18 and 8:58 concisely.

[@darrelltaylor-zv1wy]

I'm so glad I found this channel. You are helping me see myself.

[@Juan-hd8lh]

Francesca, your videos are so good I may begin obsessing over you! 😂 But more seriously, thank you for this and all you do, excellent content and incredibly useful..!!! God bless you always..!!! 🙏🏻

[@paskalaleid9718]

The way you described it and explained it is just amazing.

[@shagynaz]

Aw thanking you so much i needed this, in initial part of the video i got very emotional and i cried and then i explained everything bit by bit now it makes sense. Although deep down i knew it but i needed someone to clarify that to me.

[@MuhammadAliRaza-t3o]

whatever she says really made an impression on me and made great sense for me At first I thought it would be impossible to get rid of her and her imaginations and love i had in my heart but after listening to her videos about two weeks i changed upto 95 percent and could kick her out my mind now it doesnt make any difference for me if she comes back or leaves me anyway

[@Sicpuede]

This video is pure gold, with the exception of #2. Because after talking/spending time with the person I was obsessing over, it made things. She really is amazing 😢. But anywho, I still have to remember that this is about me and not her.

[@samanthabv]

Thank you Francesca. I think this is the first time advice actually SINKS IN. You are a pro!!

[@jojobee0401]

You are an amazing person to save and change many people’s life! Thank you 🙏

[@Separo1]

Thank you, someone so young so full of wisdom.

[@BusterScrugss]

This is one of the most powerful videos I have ever seen on this topic. Great work 👏

[@YusufPeeally]

Thank u Francesca for opening my eyes, now I know exactly happening to me during many days.

[@TerriSloan-g1v]

This was the most healing video I’ve ever watched in my entire life, and I’m glad I found your channel Thank you SO Much

[@ofe2780]

Most Wise Helpful Clear Advise ever.... scientifically and everything with great personality to really make a difference the way its explained 🎉

[@colleensandland4851]

THIS completely opens my mind

[@tithi214]

Explained well! Thanks

[@julianapaiottischychof]

this video was damn helpful right now. thank you sis, your calmness is sooo inspiring

[@wf4983]

Very good video. Where this becomes tricky is when this fantasy object is not just that. Most often there is something that they did in reality that met a certain childhood need. It can be that the person just did it once (but it made a big impression)- or that the person just stands for this one (but very important) childhood need. e.g. there was a man once that protected me in a certain way, but then showed a very inconsistent behaviour regarding staying in contact: deep discussion and then no word from him etc. But this protection was something I missed so very much in my life - and I am still thinking about this person (even though I cut ties - because I just know now that this inconsistency is toxic)

[@xiaoiifyy]

"start building a life that brings you meaning." start meeting your own needs. damn.

[@ganeshr4371]

absolutely correct. in just one video i could find all root cause of my obsession and solution. you are spot on. Love the way you connected childhood to adulthood

[@bree9097]

This was truly put together so well. Thank you

[@itslabuhere.646]

Resonated with me.Thank you very much for this video.❤❤

[@cinamonanderson-ou1ej]

Omg 😱 absolutely escapism 🙌🙏😍 so glad I found this video thank you 🙏

[@bluestarseed]

OMG ! This video just clicked in my head ! It was a turning point ! Specially when it comes to having the need to fight for love when I was a child ….

[@karenbell9641]

Brilliant!!! So true! Exactly!!

[@bartmarettlanzal7270]

I am in this current situation but slightly different but similar. I am married and met a girl online, we got to know each other over two months quite deeply and then met once, it began as her not minding me being married and now she won't have anything to do with me until I separate from my wife. I am suffering intensely from my obsession with her and fantasing escapism of my toxic relationship with my wife which I am deeply unhappy with.

[@kinxahasan5982]

Best video I’ve ever seen… Really needed it

[@Anon.hydrin]

Basically we are like Homelander

[@mansijain4258]

Thank you so much for this video. This will help me overcome 8 years of obsession. Keep sharing your work ❤

[@Monika-zp4ci]

Thank you so much for explaining all the real matter. No more obsession now ❤❤❤

[@flipperlady72]

Thank you for this video. Now I fully understand what my problem is. The last technique to build my own life is very exciting! I will be positive about my life.

[@lovetippi]

This is gold. Thank you. ❤ from Beijing China.

[@user-ub8iq2td3e]

omg this video was so on point it gave me clarity on a lot of things about myself thank you so much 💗

[@sajanpatel7285]

I totally agree with all you have said. This is great information for those who are stuck in obsessive thinking. However there is another aspect to being "obsessed" with a specific person. Sometimes we come across a person where we have an intuitive knowing that the person's essence or essential nature resonates with our own you feel drawn to this person and it's mutual this could be coined as a soul connection. There is a recognition of unity. If this for whatever reason werent not able to fulfil this connection and it's left unresolved, this can lead to fustration and constant thinking of this person and it could even go both ways. If this specific person had to move away and what was felt was unexpressed this could make one think obsessively about that person as this kind of connection is rare. If a person is as you mentioned projecting then once that person has gone from their life they could move onto projecting into another repeating that same pattern, why would they continue to think about that specific person months after they left? But I do consider everything you said.

[@carmelfaithvirtucio469]

I can relate but thankfully I am now doing this recently to cope up , so much better than my past self , so proud of you selfffff

[@BrookeLyn39]

I usually got the men I fantasized about. Some came with money, and some did not. I don't believe my fantasy was unrealistic, as they became my manifestation. I have never been a lonely person. I love being alone.

[@chaboki]

Damn girl talk to me like THAT 😍

[@jaspertanxy5753]

Thank you for helping me...I've had this problem for a long time,years to be exact.So when I stumbled into your video yesterday,I was saved by all your explanation,so now I'm going to work on myself.Thanks a lot❤.

[@theanikiforovich]

My God this is so true. As child my parents always argue and every day and night it was a nightmare to live with them. As I was going to sleep I was imagining a beautiful better life with tranquility and peace. Now that I'm an adult I found myself fantasizing over some situations or men that I liked. As almost none of my fantasies become reality even if i worked hard i start to be very sad. I don't like when I'm obsessing over a man knowing nothing out him and knowing nothing will happen yet, sometimes as I go to sleep still like to immerse myself in that fantasy world I created in childhood. I tried to stop doing it because is only causing me pain. I can't afford therapy so this video helps so so much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart 🙏🏻

[@Lucyxozxo]

Don't worry you are not alone . I also do this.

[@theunexpressedable]

You are amazing thanks for talking about these things they really open my eyes each time to why my mind works the way it does.

[@Someoneonearth-t3s]

Your this video is going to change my life .... thankyou so much for being the guiding light✨

[@elenacai5632]

I love ur podcasts,they are very useful, helpful !! I like something based on experience ,science and psychology

[@edgarhilario0989]

Thanks a lot Francesca, this was eye opening for me. I just found your channel last night and it’s been really helpful 🤩

[@mydearisyours]

The most useful technique video I’ve ever watched. Thank you.

[@TimothySmith73]

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

[@Dpesh.Jadhav]

Thank you very much for this wisdom. Truly Life saving. Very much appreciated ❤

[@maplesap]

Francesca, thank you sooo much for this amazing lesson

[@yourhealingjourney9824]

This resonated however, there's a point I observed. I have a purpose and a meaningful life and hobbies and I earn amazingly well and I still get obsessed with certain people

[@hadriusreznor3247]

Probably you don’t get enough attention , it could have happened maybe as a child or something like that

[@ma.jenniferjoaquin8041]

Thanks Francesca! I was feeling anxious all week, but your words of advice really meant a lot to me; I needed to hear that.

[@gaytrivashisht00]

this is a very good video, I feel better now. you're doing a very good thing. thank you so much and keep up the good work ❤️

[@JazzyJ96771]

I like how you logicise it, it helps to put those feelings into perspective and detatch from these unwanted feelings and sensations. I have a very obsessive personality so it's extremely hard for me to detatch, but once I finally do, it's rare I let the person back in.

[@marcalarca]

Same

[@AntoniaMargarita-z7m]

YOU ARE SOOOOO RIGHT. CONGRATULATIONS.

[@geenejames875]

That was extremely helpful! Thank you!!!

[@godsbruh]

also make video for people with great childhood. coz its really hard to find non traumatized person these days

[@zhongxina8533]

best video I ever came across ❤❤❤ Thank You

[@aksha-w4d]

Omg this is literally the best video out there…I really needed to hear all these:)

[@joedonlan2979]

Sooo good! This really helped a lot! Thank you.

[@audio-video-stereo]

I’ve been looking for this video all of my life.

[@supremexz6130]

God Bless you for this GREAT video!!! You helped me so MUCH!!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!❣❣❣

[@bartmarettlanzal7270]

This video helps me alot to deal with the emotions, thoughts and physche of what I am going through, Deep bowts of depression, sadness and confusion all powered by my mind but also feels deep in my heart (broken)

[@EricRice-p2e]

This really helped me think things through!

[@vyshna2906]

Thank you so much!!!.. I haven't been more touched 💖 Now I really do understand.

[@tcharlesrajan]

Very well connected to escapism and simple workable suggestions to detach