I left the Hasidic community. This was my experience. “The Gett”

The name in this essay has been changed.
This is a reading of a very personal essay that I wrote in 2010, shortly after leaving the Hasidic community. It does NOT reflect my life today, and how I feel now. Many years have gone by, and many old wounds have healed. But the essay remains a time capsule of those hard times as I transitioned onto a different path. I read it for the camera when we had a camera set up in our home for a different project, and I found the experience of reading out loud those raw, heartbroken moments to be deeply moving.
Please be gentle. I've been agonizing over whether I should publish this as it's extremely personal and would appreciate your kindness.

[@JW-yt7lr]

Frieda , so many of us who sought divorce shared your feelings . So many of us , like you , were stubborn women . We stayed stubborn, we made our way , sometimes stumbling, but it was our way . Stay stubborn Frieda , and all the women who have chosen that path . Stay stong .

[@FriedaVizelBrooklyn]

❤️❤️💕💕 I’m staying stubborn and sending love

[@charlenenelson16]

I don’t see any of you as stubborn or willful. You are simply souls answering the call to freely express yourself. Determined and strong. Your passion is not a detriment. It and you are an asset. Thank you for sharing what so many of us need to hear.

[@plainandsimple2576]

Tears are flowing , streaming down my face. I understand, though I’ve never been there… I am Widowed 4 years, stubborn to the core! Hugs❤

[@JW-yt7lr]

​@plainandsimple2576 Stay strong sister ... I've been where you are now and it wasn't easy , but every day is a chance to get up and push forward . It's a cliche but , one day at a time worked for me .

[@plainandsimple2576]

@@JW-yt7lr I try.. G. D is with me daily♥️

[@latinagringa]

Frieda, this was absolutley one of the most poignant and moving videos I have ever seen. You were able to convey such pain, strength, vulnerability and hope all at the same time. Please know this really touched my heart and I know a lot of people like me will relate deeply... you are truly helping to make a community that seems so foreign to most people relatable through your work and your words here in this essay. Thank you!!

[@karajarvis2254]

I can't agree more. I know the pain is real. I, too, had a divorce 😢

[@karenoquinn4702]

Thank you for sharing such a personal aspect of your life in such a beautiful monologue. You are a brave and courageous woman, following your life’s journey on your own terms. Mazel Tov Frieda .

[@jacccaro]

Frieda, your essay and presentation touched my heart. So heartfelt and honest. Shalom.❤

[@VioletACordy]

🩵💙🌳🌳🌈🔆😇@@karajarvis2254

[@VioletACordy]

🩵💙🌳🌳🌈🔆😇@@karenoquinn4702

[@HK-Light]

This made me cry. People really don't understand the pain. Not all marriages end in misery of abuse like the media wants you to believe. Some end in the misery of abandonment filled with love. So much love to you sister.

[@isaacf1055]

As a Hasidic husband myself, I understand more than others what you went through. חזק ואמץ! ס׳וועט נאך קומען גוטע צייטן. איר זענט א הייליגע און לויטערע נשמה.

[@kippykate9905]

Beauty from ashes.

[@tecora7419]

❤

[@lesaym5871]

❤💯%

[@boropark12]

💯!! Very touching to hear you say that!

[@Aham-Na]

Oy vey do you look at ALL as pure and holy souls, … ???

[@CK1000ism]

So beautifully relayed. The line about the Rabbi and his "acknowledgement of my presence" being seen as an act of kindness speaks volumes.

[@collettefassettschmidtke9582]

That was beautiful and heartbreaking. I can’t imagine the strength that took you to do that.

[@christinas8071]

Frieda, your words have touched me so deeply. I'm sitting here in bed, on the other side of the world in Australia, coffee in hand before the work day begins and suddenly i have tears, silent tears trickling down my face and without realising it, i am holding my breath, transfixed by your words. This was simply so beautiful - i thank you for sharing.

[@debstanyer812]

I'm in Australia also and this gabbed my heart also

[@myriamlip1198]

Your honesty and without putting anyone down is on another level. You're so genuine. I wish for you to find your place and be happy.

[@FriedaVizelBrooklyn]

Thank you. Amen.🙏

[@hindapally7969]

Frieda, I went through the GET experience many years ago, and even though I’ve moved on just like you did, your essay put me right back into the dreary basement room where the “ceremony “ took place and I got the chills. You’re smart, strong and beautiful and I wait for your videos every week. Love your courage. Hinda

[@agarfinkel]

That’s not an essay, it’s a poem. And it’s beautiful. ❤❤

[@kindnessmatters604]

Dear Dear Frieda, I was moved the first time you posted this. I am so happy you are sharing this to the wider group as well. You, my dear, are a writer. A beautiful writer. I can feel every second of this.

[@kevinbentley3790]

I'm moved by how poetically and vividly you describe your pain and sadness, and even more so that you do this without rancor or animosity. It shows your goodness, and is an example to me.

[@brianlawson363]

I am honored that you chose to share something so personal with me and the others on this channel who follow you. Your kind and endearing spirit are what keep me looking forward to each and every time you post. Thank you for sharing. Peace, happiness and blessings to you.

[@loridocter2144]

I am divorced, too, and I have carried the guilt of the divorce for almost 40 years. I have since remained, and I am happy. I'm Jewish, so the guilt is real. I applaud your honesty and fragility. I don't know any Hassidics, but I know how a cloistered community can be.

[@SharonPerp]

How could we be anything *but* gentle? This is stunningly beautiful and I think you for sharing it.

[@rileyfox4001]

He must have been a fool!

[@SharonPerp]

Seriously, you need that simple typo explained? I thank (😊) it wasted both our time, lol, but then again I didn't need to answer so that's on me.@@rileyfox4001

[@anonymousanonymous-qx7mv]

No he wasnt. She decided to change the course of her life and no longer be religious. He does not have to hop on a ride away from his faith...

[@Walid-bn6ih]

​@@anonymousanonymous-qx7mv🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@shimmysertin]

Unreal 💔😪 going through this struggle in my hasidic marriage right now, too. It's scary how the feelings are so well expressed. It felt like this presentation was a personal gift.

[@kellyfeltzer5402]

How are all of you Hasidic Jewish ppl seeing and responding to this? I thought you were not supposed to have access to the internet?

[@johngrund3206]

Remarkable, Frieda…I cried…and I was comforted

[@FriedaVizelBrooklyn]

Thank you so much John.

[@VioletACordy]

🩵💙🌳🌈🔆😇🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵💙🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵@@FriedaVizelBrooklyn 💙💙💙

[@toniclarke118]

Rare and brutally honest spoken with such dignity. It’s not easy listening to someone’s personal heartbreak. Thank you.

[@bethowens8863]

"They don't know how far I've come with your support, only to come too far." So beautiful and so gut-wrenching to hear. It's clear that your son's father is a good person who helped you to flourish and supported you as far as he felt he could. To leave such a sheltered community for the complete unknown just isn't an option for everybody - not everyone can go on that journey knowing it's taking them away from the only way of life they've known. It sounds like you've made peace with that and built a new relationship with the community which is much healthier and more rewarding.

[@donnamarshall8349]

Oh heck - that was truly heartbreaking 💔. Your bravery in presenting this to the outside world is immense. Much love from an English Christian 💕💕

[@ArianaPinheiro]

😭 this was so intense... I could picture the whole scene in my mind... very emotional and at the same time so powerful!!

[@FriedaVizelBrooklyn]

thank you ❤️

[@PossumLover1111]

That was deeply moving and brought me to tears. I really felt it. I hope your life now is filled with joy, beauty, and lots of love.

[@FriedaVizelBrooklyn]

Thank you ❤️🌹

[@Savti1015]

The raw emotion and gut level honesty is remarkable. What strength you have. May you continue to rebuild your life even as you poignantly share your story. All good wishes to you.

[@wendi2819]

Lovely, sweet Frieda, your essay is so authentic and beautiful. If i were Jewish, I would now be an old Bubby and I want to wrap you in my arms, ease this heartache and give you a little extra current that has ran throughout womanhood since our complicated beginning!❤❤❤ I'm so happy time has passed and the talented entrepreneurial life you have forged is proof of the strength the Rabbi knew God had given you. Even if he could not openly tell you so.❤❤❤❤✡️🕎

[@katherinemcmahon509]

Im not jewish but i had the same feelings when my husband divorced me. I wasnt told about the court date. I just received a document in the mail. I can still feel the emptyness and hear the silence that enveloped me. That was 30 years ago.

[@chanieweiss4288]

@katherinemcmahon509 Did you not have warning? I hope things worked out well for you.

[@willsmom93]

That is how I felt the day my husband left.

[@patarcher1813]

What country do you live in? Certainly not the US.

[@hollywebster6844]

Yes. Same.

[@hollywebster6844]

​@@patarcher1813I'm in the US and that is how it works in my state. With no-fault divorce, if you are not the person who files, you don't know anything until you get a letter saying you are divorced. It's not even a copy of the official court document. I had to pay to get a copy of that.

[@mrs.brunke443]

I am not Jewish but this transcends that difference. Your words reach out to each person who has gone through a personal heartbreak of whatever nature. If I were with you in person I think the only response to this would be to sit in silence letting our hearts feel the hurt and the healing together.

[@chanieweiss4288]

@MrsBrunke You sound quite poetic yourself.

[@maryschmertz6561]

So heartbreaking, so powerful. You express yourself beautifully.

[@RielLis]

"The same heart..." this was deeply moving and meaningful to share. It is received with respect and compassion!

[@shanedraney7667]

Beautiful, melancholy, sad, but filled with love, acceptance, and hope.

[@joycerapp2583]

U are a woman with deep core values and sensitivity. The way u expressed the happenings to you during the divorce echoes many other women who have been thru it also no matter what background. U gave them a voice and expressed so poignantly what they physically and emotionally went thru. Thank you . 😢

[@coucoumme]

There is something universal in your sentiments. The loss, the fear, the sadness, yet perhaps the relief. How frightening and profoundly sad it is when we become a stranger to someone. Beautifully written.

[@shulamitkalish3060]

This is the most heartbreakingly beautiful piece. Frieda you have such a unique capacity to see life, Judaism, culture through all its facets.

[@ohgrammy48]

Oh sweet, Frieda! My heart breaks for you. I have felt your pain. I understand. How beautifully you presented your feelings. ❤️🙏🏻😢

[@leviadelman]

I was able to slip away from my Chassidic background because I was untethered, but in that lack of tethering, I was able to avoid, rather than face, my decisions. And while that spared me the immensity of feelings and sadness that you expressed here, it also robbed me of the courage and clarity of facing and expressing them. Thank you for sharing this.

[@sophiemorrison9820]

Your pain and aloneness came through the screen and left me teary eyed. It's the price you paid for not being able to conform to a path laid out before you. I think you have since grown and found satisfaction and happiness. I have enjoyed your pursuits on video. Much success and love to you in your life ahead.

[@boathousejoed1126]

There are instances when words fall short, sending a virtual hug..

[@joeyjoy7829]

What a stunning piece of writing. So brilliantly sharing the intimate alienation of a painful, powerful moment in your past. I'm sure that it remains not just in the past but in the fabric of 'you'. Freida, you are dazzlingly intelligent but have a wonderful gift of emotional intelligence too. Thank you for sharing, universally, for all of us stubborn but not bullish souls who feel it all but have to do it anyway. ❤

[@victoriaastrida]

Such a quiet power... I am sure you have many women like myself watching this. You have taken us on your journey. Now we are reliving ours, each so different, yet the pain, the inevitability, the confusion, the remembrance of all those small details, a feathered pen, a coat loving bought by two, the feeling of someone once beloved becoming alien, all these mirrored variously are still incredibly clear, so sharp with unfettered focus. It is a quiet Saturday night here outside Boston, and the poems will spill into the dark and on to pages as I wish you blessings on your life.

[@donnahibbard1774]

I heard your pain, I felt it, and I cried. You are valued and appreciated. ❤

[@FriedaVizelBrooklyn]

Thank you ❤️

[@loriloristuff]

Hugs! You are a strong woman, my dear. There are so many things we aren't sure we can endure without dying!!!! And you did, you survived, and endured, as painful as it was, and thrived. You're an excellent writer.

[@melissapiontek3886]

Wow, may HaShem protect and keep her, my heart goes out to her for enduring this pain.

[@AnnieEpstein-f7k]

My heart broke with yours Frieda. You're such a strong woman. I applaud your courage in taking such a difficult step alone, and thank you so much for sharing it with us. I pray that love has or will find you again xx

[@ladyrose3338]

“I’m not alone…” You’re right Frieda, and you never will be…much love to you and thank you for sharing such a raw time in your life with all of us. Shalom 🕊️🤍

[@Rivershines]

Thank you for sharing Frieda. Your depth of feeling and beautiful expression has moved us all to tears. We cry with you, and alongside you. You beautiful, stubborn, creative and brave satma girl. The glimpses you give me into your heart and into your world somehow break my heart and delight my soul. You are an artist of great tenderness and fragility. We in the world and of the world needed you. We still need you.

[@pqlasmdhryeiw8]

Thank you for sharing this painful and intimate moment with us. And in a manner that is very you - I remember you saying you always liked writing and poetry as a child and teenager.

[@danaloudenslager1182]

That essay absolutely penetrated my heart. I’ve watched your videos with other folks who are OTD, like yourself but this is the first time I’ve ever heard something that captures the contemporaneous experience as one makes their exit. It’s so achingly human. Thank you for publishing something so personal.

[@cdewey5115]

Your ability to capture emotions with your writing and sharing your life is a wonderful gift you have been given!

[@randivansack9482]

Wow, Frieda...my eyes are filled with tears of understanding as you recited this profound, magnificent piece. I am filled with gratitude to have heard these words, coming from your beautiful, authentic heart. Thank you for being so courageous and for sharing your soul.

[@ambergoulet]

That was so very beautiful. You have honored the world by sharing it. Thank you.

[@7ennifer]

You are a gifted writer, truly. This heart-wrenching essay will stay with me for a while. Thank you for having the courage to share something so painful and having the courage, overall, to be authentic.

[@MaureenDrees]

How brave and powerful, thank you.

[@nitanice]

Anyone who has had to divorce a spouse we truly love (like me) understands that it’s very painful. What a beautiful opening of your heart, tribute to the love and kindness you both did feel.

[@orlaklassen6355]

Even when you are abused its hard to leave a husband you have loved, Thank-you for this.

[@susanjoyce8053]

Frieda, you’ve touched my heart and brought me with you during such a painful time. Go in peace. Find happiness.

[@FriedaVizelBrooklyn]

Ha ha, בני יואל had rebbetzin alte feige for years!

[@barbaraketchum8287]

Divorce is so heartbreaking no matter how it happens. Mine was fraught with so many court proceedings and was drawn out for years. But the death of a partnership and dream is always so painful. I have flourished and moved on, and it seems as though you and your son have done the same. Many prayers and blessings to you!! ❤

[@judithnicholais1492]

This essay is just as poignantly beautiful, thematically complex & thoughtfully laid out as I find ALL of your interviews and docu / stories. What a generous gift you have shared Frieda. Thank you

[@FriedaVizelBrooklyn]

Thank you Judith 🙏

[@charlottehollenberg9007]

That was beautiful Frieda! 🥰

[@FriedaVizelBrooklyn]

Thank you. ❤️

[@laurameisenhelter9186]

Frieda, thank you for sharing something so deeply personal. You are brave to share your story. You are brave to remain true to yourself. Thank you.

[@jeffbarr1]

Frieda thank you for always showing honest , objective , and moving videos that show Judaism in a positive light and sharing personal things about yourself!

[@InMyCups]

Your words left me breathless. Thank you for sharing.

[@berteisenbraun7415]

I almost feel ashamed to have such personal feelings given to me! it does give me a window into your life. you tugged at my Heart Strings today, The loss of a Child is very Painful and a lifelong struggle, grieving for a child is forever. Thank you for helping me know you!

[@kerrymonroe4888]

This is astonishingly well crafted. Thank you so much for sharing. I hope you are able to share it with even wider audiences.

[@golancation]

Watched it for a few times with tears in loops. I could only imagine to myself the anguish you have been standing alone while still amongst. Thank God for you, for your powerful strength. You're an excellent example within our faith, in ways I feel so proud we share common beliefs. 💙

[@FriedaVizelBrooklyn]

Thank you for such a kind comment. ❤️

[@Time.for.tea.]

Wow. That was powerful. I needed a few minutes of silence when the video ended to process it. It touched my soul. Thank you for sharing.

[@TristouMTL]

You brought me to tears, and I have nothing but love and respect and thanks for your stubbornness and your intelligence and your ability to write.

[@TravelinJenB]

Frieda you have such a way with words, and none moreso than with this baring of your soul. I would enjoy hearing more personal essays in the future.

[@bettymaines6305]

I applaud your bravery in posting this. It is difficult to share our most heart felt feelings with the public , and this is exactly what you did. I applaud you.

[@SimplyGobsmacked]

God bless you. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable moment with us.

[@FriedaVizelBrooklyn]

Thank you 😊

[@JulieReyes67]

This is heartbreaking and beautiful. Thank you for sharing your soul.

[@rabeksmom]

I'm honored that you opened up to share this with us. It's so profound. thank you.

[@GuruishMike]

Thank you for this. You risking the vulnerability to share this essay is a gift for us.

[@mariereilly2084]

Thank you for your generosity of spirit. Your truth frees my heart. Incredible writing. I feel blessed to have found this.

[@martinelanglois3158]

This is so moving, so powerful, so poignant. Strenght and vulnerability into one. You are a very talented courageous woman. Thank you for sharing this with us. Sending hugs. 😢

[@Mama24loves]

This has broken my heart and made things in my life clearer to me. Thank you for sharing this with us.

[@luiscastellanos660]

😢 heartbreaking! Thanks for sharing such an intimate moment. It is as sad as poetically beautiful. You are an amazing person! Thanks for this beautiful channel!!

[@maggieharris2248]

Oh Frieda! I can only imagine how hard it was for you to speak this all in front of the camera, sharing, and baring your feelings to help us understand the depth of what you went through. You are brave, kind, gentle, and brilliant. Many others here have expressed more eloquently than I can how you have touched our souls today and how much we appreciate you and your channel. Thank you for your willingness to share all aspects of Hasidic life with us. You are a blessing to us and a real Mentsch. I know what it’s like to be stubborn, too, and leave behind family, friends, and religion. Now here I am all these years later converting to Judaism. Thank you again, dearFrieda. 💖🇮🇱❤️‍🩹

[@Johnnydetroit313]

Your to pretty to be sad, I hope you now have happiness in you life because you’re smile is a light in the darkness!

[@PoppyOak]

Absolutely beautiful essay! ❤ my heart breaks for the pain you went through and I’m so happy you found your way and are thriving. Thank you for sharing such a deeply personal story. It is truly compelling.

[@bobanddaly]

You just left me with my eyes full of tears, you are a great and strong woman, I admired you! Hugs

[@bobbypaluga4346]

Wow Frieda, what beautiful yet heartbreaking words.

[@lkuffer]

Courage. Raw, brutal, stubborn courage: to get the get -- and then to share your feelings over a decade later. Tough stuff.

[@isaacwolowik]

OMG!! I just cried when I heard this. So vulnerable, so deeply painful and so overwhelming. Bless your strength.

[@bettymaines6305]

Oh Frieda, my heart aches for the pain you were feeling on this fateful day. Your prose is heartbreakingly beautiful You were brave beyond measure to take this journey. I so hope you have found peace and joy in your new life. You have more than earned it.

[@beeswan9775]

Thank you for this gift you have given to all of us, in your own voice, from your own memories, and from the deep places of your heart and soul.

[@laurathompson2505]

Please continue to write, perhaps a novel. Your writing is poetic, and raw, honest and vulnerable but with a strength that reassures us the vulnerability is simply an endearing human trait and not a flaw that will prevent you from moving forward and listening to those powerful instincts. I did not want this to end. If you continue to write I will be your most avid fan. You have a lot to say to say, the world need to hear your voice, more importantly those who are feeling trapped in your formal world need to hear your voice. While your circumstances were unique you message is universal. Please continue to write!!!!

[@Sara123-kp9vv]

Freeda I am a Hasidic woman, I am here to Support you. I couldn’t stop crying while watching this😢. Your words are proof of your strong respectful and growing soul. I wish you only happiness and that you shouldn’t feel alone ever❤

[@gerriebell2128]

@Tiffany123-kp9vv 💕💕💕

[@hannahyoung3533]

I feel sad for both you and your ex-hubby. When couples grow apart, it doesn't make one person right or one person wrong but it does cause such sadness in both people in dealing with the changes. I hope both of you have been able to heal and have happy lives.

[@susanjaneleitner7670]

I’m crying at the beauty of you a young woman expressing her heart wrenching thoughts and feelings so eloquently and beautifully. From your heart to print is incredibly difficult. I once felt that way. In time I healed but never entirely. You are brave not stubborn. Rest and stay strong. Rest and feel peace. Take care of your health. I know this trauma happened years ago. I know much has changed. I love you Frieda just as you are. ❤

[@martak8933]

That was beautiful Frieda! You are very brave for sharing such a personal piece. Would love to listen to any other of your essays in the future!

[@susanshostak1139]

So powerful. I like that you were able to be vulnerable and respectful at the same time.

[@ruchamawiesenfeld9302]

How beautifully written and heartbreakingly painful.

[@joni77933]

Dear dear Frieda, you have expressed so beautifully the heartache many of us have felt in having to leave someone deeply loved and cherished because of the comfort that was once enough but no longer is enough. I express it poorly but you have expressed it poignantly and honestly. I am truly sorry our had to experience the pain of the end of your marriage. The Hasidic traditions you share with us truly speak to human experience so very deeply. ❤

[@mary-kittybonkers2374]

Dear Frieda, thank you so much for sharing this intimate, powerful and heartbreaking glimpse into this most seminal moment in your life. You have such a beautiful way with words. You describe even the emotionally painful, jarring moments and the finality of the ‘Get’ so poetically, and with such dignity. Thank you again for sharing yourself at your most vulnerable and at this moment of aloneness and exile. Regards, Mary x

[@paulbehrend8819]

You are valiant beyond measure, Frieda.🙏

[@FriedaVizelBrooklyn]

❤️❤️‍🩹

[@kaynewling3455]

Unbelievably moving. I admire your courage, your honesty with yourself and others, and your deep thinking.

[@annepoitrineau5650]

It is so moving. I am, we are, honoured that you shared it with us, so that we understand wtih more than just our mind, but also our souls and hearts. Thank you. xxx

[@FriedaVizelBrooklyn]

Thank you Anne, so much

[@sabineottala3588]

Gosh, this was powerful. I'm in awe of your honesty and ability to put words to those feelings. I got married and divorced young as well and I don't think I've ever acknowledged the emotions as clearly as you did here.

[@MsSherryjh]

Oh Frieda. How beautiful and how sad. Two things can be true at the same time. Thank you for sharing your two truths with me, with us. Keep writing, I know you have. Your words are heart felt, heart shared.

[@mrsk4343]

Oh my word. Poignant and tragic and beautiful.

[@katerichards]

That was beautiful, thank you for expressing it in such a way. I think any divorce is a rending (speaking from experience) that it takes a very long time to get past and move on with any kind of sense of normalcy or goodness, but I had the support of my family and even his father I had to push away to support his son instead because we were very close. I cannot imagine the strength and love for yourself and your son it took to leave. I admire and respect you so much.

[@ThildasBeinhaus]

It's so moving how you could discribe your pain in such beautiful words. You have the spirit of a poet and a big heart ❤