Friends Are Mad I Won't Go To My Twin Brother's Birthday Dinner As A Guest r/Relationships

[@FoxgloveWanderer]

Hang on. Excluding the twin and the girlfriend, there are 11 people? And they only booked 10 seats...? Did these nitwits not realize they'd need to book a seat for the guest of honor? Because everyone is supposed to arrive before the twin, so the 10 people would already be there and taking their seats.

[@izzisart]

Nope. They were banking on OP not coming.

[@babybookworm003]

Op was an after thought for sure and all his friends but the one friend who planned it apologized but I’d have been reluctant to forgive them

[@TarisLuna]

I mean I have forgotten to count myself a few times, not in that big of a situation though. Now I always get my partner to go through the plans with me before finalizing stuff. But op's "friend" was simply just excluding him.

[@Nursern1974]

Story 1: I’m more concerned that the so called “friends” went along with this behavior. They are as bad as the organizer. Find new friends. Also concerned that brother didn’t put her on blast too!

[@Nursern1974]

For the groom that was sexually assaulted sadly in our misogynistic society some people think this was some kind of rite of passage rather than what is was a sexual assault. These are not friends shame on them. So sorry for the sad outcome

[@lesyeuxsansvisage1157]

Agree. Men can, and are sexually assaulted, frequently. I’m female, but a survivor, and I have talked to a lot of guys that are survivors as well. They DESERVE validation, just as much as anyone else. What happened to that poor young man is appalling. I wish so badly I could heal is heart, and undo the horror he survived.

[@stephjovi]

Absolute insanity. They convinced a women to rape him? One last night of fun? How is that fun? He should press charges against her and the friends but I get it's still hard for men to get justice

[@obtuse186]

"misogynistic" Man sexually assaulted, women most affected.

[@serpilkaddy1609]

This story really upset me. Let's call it what it is- he was raped and that's just heartbreaking. I might not know the guy but it really hurt to hear

[@TheLittlestViking]

This is exactly what I came down here to comment about. I used to work in a position that meant I sometimes was involved in conducting the initial interviews with survivors of sexual assaults, and what the groom experienced absolutely was NOT "cheating" on his fiancée. Any time you encounter a story like this, just flip the genders of the people involved. If you wouldn't be okay with a man undoing the pants of a drunk woman while she tried to push him off and told him, "No, stop, I don't want to," and then him performing sexual acts on her, that tells you all you need to know about how you should be interpreting that situation when it's a woman doing it to a man. (Or a woman to a woman, a man to a man, etc.) If you ARE okay with someone doing that to a person too intoxicated to properly defend themselves...well, you're a horrible person and you need to stay away from other humans.

[@NeverLuckyE7]

I love the response to make plans with the twin during the time of the "surprise party"

[@Nielak-dg8nj]

On what planet would both twins not be pissed at this. I wouldn't give that chick the time of day if I was OP's twin.

[@pamelalaub6204]

My mother was an identical twin. My mother died in July 2001. The twins' birthday was at the end of October. I called my aunt thinking she'd be having a mixture of sadness and happiness. All she expressed was happiness at not having to share her birthday. She had always been a taker and Mom was the giver. As we kids had grown up each twin's children made sure they each had their own cake and celebration as well as a joint celebration. That was the final straw for me. I only made occasional duty calls because Mom would have wanted me to do that.

[@alyssabates967]

What a psycho. I’m so sorry about that. I’m a twin, and we don’t always get along, but I dread the first birthday I have alone. Be at peace knowing your Aunt was a taker, because she had nothing in her heart worth giving.

[@Garden366]

This exactly. I call OP’s twin as the actual clown here bc obviously the girl is a piece of crap but his twin just went along with it without comment. If I were OP I’d be celebrating my birthday without my twin from now on.

[@swankyswag904]

,

[@urbanscholar00]

As a twin that makes me sad. A friend lost his twin last year and when I found out it was just after his first birthday without his twin, I had to give him a hug. He said we know how much that hurts and we lost him earlier this year. I think he was heartbroken 💔💔💔💔 It’s kind of you to make those duty calls, but take care of yourself first. Especially if she is a taker

[@bunnycrypted6160]

1:01:11, I cannot believe that he is the AH here, 90k is a lot of money, also there’s barely a relationship, so her coming and saying I need more money at the last minute isn’t fair

[@plasticbandit]

Omg thank you! It obvious that the daughter is treating 0P like an ATM but Reddit only sees a father that “abandoned” his family

[@Chlober_Official]

Yeah, he only read the comments he agreed with to make confirmation bias. There is no world in which that dude is an AH.

[@kermithanorman]

I swear I was looking for this comment. 90k?????? Why the hell didn't she ask her mom for the money. What obligation does she think he has to her past 90k and never visited or even went to the wedding and sided with her toxic a$$ mom. And the narrator just went along with he's the AH SMH the assumption level is ridiculous. this man was driving and staying in hotels every visit and she still didn't show up. You can tell the mom taught the daughter to disrespect the father.

[@betheguy_posts]

[doesn't want a relationship with dad unless convenient] [requests $90k+ dollars for school] [dad doesn't wanna give it up because they have no positive relationship] [daughter:] *shocked Pikachu face*

[@rickhernandez7666]

@@Chlober_Official Yeah, sorry, Markee, but this is a skewed view of the truth. Maybe he wasn't around by his own choice, but the relationship is clearly not strong enough to merit him giving her more money.

[@Ecclectic_citcelccE]

Ah, different times disproves my theory. Before listening I thought maybe the planner was tricking both of them into attending a surprise for their twin. That would be epic but really hard to explain😂

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

Ahhhh, another case of friends (it was one friend last time) who don’t want their friend to grow up. 2:04:36 OP did _NOT_ cheat, this was SA.

[@YourKavien]

His "finishing" was nothing more than a physical response. There have been women who were assaulted and got a happy, they still didn't want the assault to happen. His body's reaction doesn't override his verbal "NO"! He needs to tell his girlfriend what happened, trying to hide something like this will never stay buried forever.

[@serpilkaddy1609]

Let's call it what it is. Its rape. That particular story really hurt to hear. Absolutely heartbreaking

[@morganleanderblake678]

gee do I assume a random school nurse is right about my illness or perhaps the doctor who was a specialist after two weeks of tests and a successful treatment plan... hmmm... this one's hard...

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

41:20 whenever I hear this story, I’m shocked cuz it’s so unhinged. The parents just giving away a whole ass house, the father being hospitalized over it, the brother being entitled af, is this a cultural thing? This is so insane! Oh yeah, and the boyfriend saying to just give up the house.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

2:29:10 my heart def just grew two whole sizes. I love that someone is teaching these children how to treat service people. Love this!

[@elisabethb.131]

Problem with twins is, only celebrating one twins birthday is automatically an active move AGAINST the other. The only situation in which this is not extremely hurtful, is if the twins have sepetate circles of friends, OR if they never celebrate their birthday together (some twins celebrate on different days on purpose). In OP's case, neither applies, so the friends are either INCREDIBLY naïve, emotionally immature, and tone deaf, OR they are being a-holes to make some sort of point. In either case, I doubt the celebrated twin would have had a good time if he'd known his brother was hurting. And OP needs to find new ACTUAL friends.

[@josephmckee3605]

Disagree with markee about kate a art degree costing the same as a medical degree is insane, employers don't care where you went to school just that you have the qualifications

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

1:07:58 my daughter is so selfish, they found something they’re so passionate about, they worked hard af and saved up the money to get what they needed for it. Why aren’t they taking care of the household at 14 yo?! That’s how this sounds. Putting all of this on a child is horrible! ETA: I am actually in tears hearing they sold it all.

[@tracydodson9997]

I never wanted my future daughters-in-law to ask me why I didn't properly train my boys. Early on the chair beside me I taught them to cook. Also cleaning, laundry, ironing, etc. All of my sons are amazing men that actively participate in their lives with no trouble.

[@Keyonne88]

"you're setting him up to fail!" -- uh, no you're setting him up to be a good partner to his future wife. The other two boys will probably fail because their sexist dad taught them housework is "women's work".

[@itsjustmaddisen]

My brain keeps focusing on the wrong things and I’m imagining this kid yelling “WHERE’S THE LAMB SAUCE.” 😂

[@smallsmirk]

I kept hearing a mini Ramsey screaming IT’S BLOODY RAW

[@swaggchu789]

2:52:07 my head is exploding. OP was NTA . You do not STARE regardless of what you see. That's common sense.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

1:49:28 This is the real question tho. I get that the dad doesn’t want to start over, but being willing to deal with getting accused of having a sexual relationship with your daughter is insane. No wonder her kids want nothing to do with her. This father takes his vows so seriously, he’ll deal with his daughter being mistreated? Yeah, that makes sense.

[@mweathers79]

Give you my house?!? That’s a hard, “Hell No”! Sorry, not sorry. Tell Bro to you’ll be happy to LOAN him the money for a vasectomy, lmao😂😂😂

[@agnesmetanomski6730]

Story 2: cooking is a girly thing? Oh wow. We should inform all those MALE professional chefs that their profession is GIRLY and they should give it up and shift to something more MANLY!

[@DocKrazy]

Haven't you heard the news? If if you get payed for something, it can go either way. If it's a *profession* , then it suddenly becomes entirely masculine.

[@agnesmetanomski6730]

@@DocKrazy That's not news, that's stuck-in-the-past, let's-cater-to-fragile-male-egos tradition 😤

[@DocKrazy]

@@agnesmetanomski6730 exactly. You are absolutely correct (also, I can't quite tell if you could infer I was being ironic in my reply, but I would like to retroactively add that my comment was meant as satire. I know tone indicators are oftentimes necessary in comment sections and I struggle with adding them considering the sheer amount of sardonism I dish out)

[@agnesmetanomski6730]

@@DocKrazy no worries, I took your reply with a rather large grain of salt and had a good laugh 🤣

[@HubiKoshi]

Had a good laugh at his own father berating him for being a useless husband who can't even take care of the house.

[@Bkgksan625]

Story 1: The twin’s response seems very telling to me. He thinks it is weird but won’t stand up for him. He definitely wanted a celebration for him and him alone. Not nice at all! Story 2: Everyone should know how to cook! It is a life /survival skill. Lots of famous chefs are men! It is weird that people in western country still have this kind of archaic views! 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[@pamelalaub6204]

I have had many, many surgeries and hospital stays. I've had countless blood draws and IVs. That has resulted in obvious scars near the bends of my elbows. I have joked with close friends and family that I could be mistaken for a drug user. That has never been true but I've gotten some odd looks. No one has ever directly asked me.

[@toriibarlow]

In the Army they teach you basic cooking sewing ect. He really thought his dad would side with him

[@Ona1979]

I used to struggle with self harm. It's not ok for people to ask about the scars. It puts me on the spot. It forces me to relive what happened just to satisfy idle curiosity of a person who has no problem bringing up a painful topic. I feel the same about scars that are from drug abuse.

[@rhiannonmackenzie2527]

Story 1: I do think that maybe the brother said he wanted a bit of time apart from the other. The point that he didn't even send a text to ask where he was makes it very obvious.

[@lilbeegamer]

The one about the house had me going WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK repeatedly out loud. I have NEVER been so dumbfounded in my LIFE.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

1:39:56 the cut it short convinced me the nurse was TA. The father is also TA, probably an overly patriotic one.

[@sharolynwells]

To the man who thinks cooking is for women only -- my mom made my brothers learn to cook when we were growing up. My brother Bill was a better cook than my sister and me.

[@ianesgrecia8568]

Her nickname for him is literally a famous MALE cook. Who earn millions and much more than the dad... This is really stupid of the father

[@paulinadeboer3604]

One comment was right. Brother wanted a birthday for himself. Girl says your brother was invited but did not show up, and he does not pick up his phone and call his brother and check if he is allright. He could be in a car accident etc. At least my twin was honnest when she told my family she would not want a birthday with me anymore. She was 10 and my family's solution was only celebrate her birthday from that moment on. Oh i tried to have my own party but no-one showed up from the extended family and my direct family did not even congratulated me. So to the op welcome to my world of second best twins.

[@madebyoneart]

First story has the easiest excuse not to go, even without the 10 person set limit. " sorry can't go my girlfriend and i have already have plans for celebrating my birthday that day!"

[@silvertopaz509]

1st story. I understand, I was born May 18th, the next year on May 17th my brother was born. From that point on the Birthdays were celebrated on May 17th. This hurts. Not so bad now, there dead.

[@streamerssaymyname]

Your whole family?

[@lianabaddley8217]

That is kinda like my youngest brother's daughters. Except his family makes sure to celebrate both days. They each get their own cake and party.

[@emsmith.]

What the hell

[@wyvern723]

Because a boy who knows how to take care of himself is bad? That dad is super toxic. I have a son. When he goes off to xollege, he will know how to cook, clean up after himself and fo his own laundry.

[@cluppip]

Story 2: I have a policy if a person can't cook at my age I won't date them. I won't be a mom to a 25+ person already have a great life as it is don't need no one messing it up.

[@mikilacunningham6259]

Tell ur husband to apologize to ur son & let him know why he did whay he did & it wasn't about him personally it about his (dads) past but not the son

[@pumpkintartable]

Isn't that usually what parents tell their children to do when they want something expensive ... work for the money so you can get it yourself

[@Abutado]

2:42:46 I think that what the husband/OP is saying is that he remembers "being the hero" the morning after the party, not what happened during the party. It's not unlikely the food/drinks were drugged if many of the kids couldn't remember the events, also kids that young don't have that great of a tolerance so the alcohol alone could impair memory and judgement. So he woke up the next day in the same room as OP without pants, but that makes sense to him because there was puke on them. She's on the bed, he wasn't, ok that's not exactly indicative he did anything to her but he didn't want to leave her in a potentially vulnerable place and she didn't wake up. So he carried her home, put her in her car to not get her in trouble with her mom and covered her face to save her from shame or blinding sunlight with a major hangover. Later he finds out she has a mystery elusive boyfriend and is pregnant. It's not unlikely that he didn't suspect he had anything to do with any of it. And if OP, who at this point knows him better than most people, truly trusts him and forgives him (and he hasn't shown any other signs of abuse or gaslighting), then I think it's completely plausible and just an eerie coincidence. NGL, my hackles would be raised for a while and I'd be deeply suspicious, but he seems genuinely remorseful from the way it sounds so I too would likely continue with the relationship under the guidance of counseling.

[@RichardJordan-rt1jo]

My sister gatekeeps being tired all the time. She's a nurse and works long shifts. I've got a young child and no help from anyone except her dad my partner. It doesn't matter what we do a person can feel tired and you don't have to compare situations. Two ppl can be tired at the same time it's not a who does the most so there for is the most tired competition. If she tells me she's tired i sympathise, if it's the other way round i get a lecture of why she is more tired than I am. I stopped her from doing that but it really used to piss me off

[@DavidJones-bl5gu]

This hurt so much to hear and made me so angers he can’t even come to terms with being R and view that he cheated this is the state of the world and it sickens me to the core…

[@Kateshellybo]

So this twin thing seems to happen pretty often. I am a twin and my twin's wife planned a surprise birthday party for him while forgetting it was my birthday too. She only remebered when he mentioned inviting me to dinner for our birthday. So she added me to the to be celebrated list. Problem being she didn't know any of my friends. So o show up to go out to dinner with my family for mine and my twins birthday amd its a huge surprise party for him. There were definetly efforts made to include me but is some ways it made it worse because it was obvious i was tacked on. I do think sil parents felt bad because right before I arrived they has run out and gotten me a gift card for a lot more than they usually spend on gifts, in addtion to the gift they already gotten me.

[@Vipre-]

30:27 "...it was not okay to bring her 'home situation' to the discussion." The entire "discussion" only happened because B brought her "home situation' into it in the first place. Those stupid "parentisms" need to die out already, you're just parroting what you've heard everyone else before you say because "it's your turn now".

[@tantelila7464]

#1: Invite your twin brother to a birthday party for both of you at the exact same day and time. The party organized for him is a surprise for him that he knows nothing about, so he should have time. 😂

[@kristown8170]

Me and my fiance always take turns with dishes and cooking, but I prefer to do the cooking since it's my hobby. I'm probably gonna teach him to crochet too so we can bond over it

[@LordGertz]

Doggo could be sick from pesticides or the potatoes. Potatoes are related to Bella donna, that is why they tell you to never eat a green potatoes.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

2:12:40 this whole comment. The friend or friends always seem to think they’re doing a favor.

[@kessiawright1710]

With the twins birthday, they didn't make a reservation for him. They wanted to make sure he knew he wasn't wanted.

[@AleksandarBradaric]

Last story: AH 100% specially after the update...XD.....Art room scenario...

[@angeloliver7613]

Father in Law is a honorable man xD

[@AustinArcherAArcherottumwastud]

A 14 year old has no obligation to hand over her hard earned money to scum parents. Keep the reats and proof you spent your money if your stuff goes missing. When I was 12 I was given 500 for birthday and bought some gold dad got mad because that money could have gone to pay the bills I told him if it went missing i'd call the cops he said I couldnt because if its in his house it's his, this is also the guy who said anyone who doesn't have a job is scum, I said take it and get arrested for theft. He backed off and I took the coins my mom's dad's house and left them there till I turned 18 and had a job while he quit his and didnt get one till I turned 20.

[@nancyaguirre2307]

The kid is spoiled expecting college paid for. She can work a little.

[@334yopf]

I wish the relationships sub gave a warning when posting that like a third of the comments would be "get a divorce", "youre being gaslit", etc. Sometimes its true that that would be the best resolution/ is the correct description, but the users go a little far sometimes, especially with death threats in DMs. Even people who do horrible things dont learn from that, they just think that more of the reasonable criticism is also from lunatics, like the post about a guy putting his kids support animal down.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

2:15:44 awwww man, those dumb ass friends took so much from OP.

[@drrobinf.a.2942]

2.21.30 (the man sexually assaulted during his bachelor party) : A better way to frame this: It’s a particular form of thinking things through that they were lacking. They need to learn "social perspective taking." It's an aspect of psycho-social development that involves learning to see the point of view of someone who is different from one's self. Had they attempted this, they might have understood that they were doing their friend a disservice. A tragic result from their social/moral developmental failure.

[@skyelindsey687]

Even 6 months later I’m against the grain and going NTA for the dude who’s daughter barged into his work place and demanded he pay more than agreed upon for her degree just because she chose to go to a more expensive college. She knew prior to applying how much each parent would be contributing. If she wants to go to a school that that amount plus scholarships and FAFSA doesn’t cover then she can get a job and pay for the remainder herself like literally every other college student that doesn’t have money given to them for tuition. Throwing a tantrum won’t magically make the extra money appear.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

1:33:54 an explanation isn’t always an excuse. The reasoning made sense. Doesn’t make what OP did okay, but it makes some kind of sense. Maybe I’m wrong though. ETA: also no evidence that OP is in love with the friend.

[@susannefrancis1216]

OMG what an AH Gordon Ramsey needs tagging in this 1 lol

[@deballen7031]

That last one...🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@EluneAnzu]

Oh god the friend with the scars story I still remember having to pause listening to that one the first time since it went from "haha art room" to the op and the friend getting involved in surprise bj

[@iffykitten8742]

That girl probably shouldn’t have spent $800 on BS but only because her parents can’t be trusted and the next obvious step was selling all her stuff. Wasn’t surprised at all when they did. It’s clear they can’t be trusted with any type of expensive stuff and unfortunately as a child there’s little she can do if she’s stuck with them. She should probably be saving for college instead because her family probably won’t be covering it based on how weird they are with money. Unfortunately in her situation she should be more focused on practical things, like getting emancipated or saving money to get away from her family ASAP. Sad that she can’t really afford to be a normal kid but we all got dealt our own hand.

[@stephjovi]

How insane. It's illegal in my country to work before age 15. 14 year olds should focus on school and life

[@annageorge8406]

I have a rare in America medical condition, but is common in Europe. My mom recognized it in me, and a specialist from Europe recognized it in her while taking care of my name sake

[@matildevalle5253]

You do not need to apologize for someone who thinks that she can verbally attacked someone. You’re standing up for yourself good for you.

[@mikehilbert9349]

14:18 mark, NTA. Man here, wanting OPs husband to know that cooking is not only a manly activity, but is a helpful life skill. Makes me wonder what the huaband does when he goes camping or hiking and needs to prepare a meal. Or are camping and hiking too unmanly, because they require cooking tor yourself? All the manly male role models I knew growing up, knew how to cook. They also served in wars, survived the great depression and knew how to build and fix things. For dad, manly things are watching sports and playing vidro games? Dad is not manly enough to go hunting and fishing and learning survival skills? Sorry, but dad is dead wrong on this. ETA post update: Gotta love that the husband's dad didn't side with him.

[@davidblack9474]

People don’t seem to realize men and women can blackout when drunk. Do things they don’t remember and then start remembering things later.

[@pamelalaub6204]

I have an alcoholic sister who has proven that too many times. When she was drunk and acting out while loudly cursing in front of small children I filmed her. I sent the video to her. Instead of learning from it she chose to get angry at me for filming her and "editing it to make her look bad". I don't know how to edit. I didn't need to show anyone because family and friends have witnessed her like that.

[@Uthgardloki]

oh id go to the pawn shops with the recipts and tell them they are in possession of stolen goods

[@jchansdollhouse]

Ugh... The teen that made money and bought her dance stuff with it... I resonate with this one. I got my first job at 15 and worked 2.5 years 20-40hrs a week to save up for a car. I gave all my money to my mom to put in the bank for me just to go and buy a car and find out I have nothing 😢 I was MAAAAD! I love my mom, we have always been really close and she was a single mom with 2 kids who had been laid off for a few months... And I totally sympathize with the situation and had she told me she needed it or even asked me to help out, I would have had no problem. Would I have been a little sad, yes, but this was worse. 2.5 years of my life working with nothing to show for it and completely blind sided by it... 😭 I know it's a little different than OP but like... If you need help with bills or something, then ask for it. You're the adult! Ugh, I cannot express how hurtful it was that she just took it without asking... Siiiigh

[@carlacampbell2430]

Concerning the daughters story about the crazy step Mo who thinks daughter and father are having an affair and father won’t leave SM. When a man’s behavior doesn’t make sense always consider the impact of change on his penis. Sex may be good with SM or it may be bad and that is more important than his daughter. The stress of forming a new sexual relationship is unendurable.

[@pmbramucci1056]

Both the SA story with the groom and the girl who ended up marrying the guy who slept with her when she was passed out just ruined my faith in humanity. I need more stories like the bus of kids who were so polite to their servers...and cute animal videos. Lots and lots of cute animal

[@NoahTheHumanPlays]

an hour in listening to the story about paying for the daughter and step daughters college, and i gotta disagree with your asshole ruling. havent gotten to the update yet lol, but i wanted to go to art school my whole life. even with 3/4 covered by scholarships and financial aid, i wouldve been paying over $100k for a 4 year degree. the state school in the same city had a good art program that literally used all the same professors for WAY cheaper. (still didnt go lol). the daughter should pursue fashion after doing better research on whats best for the cost/what they offer. sounds like the school is a for-profit scam school, like every US college under the "art institute" umbrella of schools

[@datmanydocris]

Yeah, this just seems like the very common case where redditors hate parents and say they're in the wrong all the time even when they clearly aren't because they types of people that spend their whole life on reddit are the types of people with daddy issues. The things the comments were saying were laughable. OP favored his stepdaughter over Sarah? How? Literally nothing in that post even remotely pointed to him favoring his stepdaughter. He never made time for his daughter after the divorce? How is coming for every visitation and being blown off by his daughter anyway not making time for her? OP abandoned Sarah? How is getting divorced yet going to every visitation "abandoning" Sarah? If anything based on the post it sounds like the ex wife was intentionally isolating Sarah from OP. If I were to have an ex wife who had visitation to our child and my child refuse to leave their room to see their mother, I would _force_ them to come out to see their mother. I wouldn't just be like "well, I understand it's your visitation but she doesn't want to see you, so piss off." The fact that the ex wife is allowing that shows she is vindictive and doesn't want OP to have a good relationship with his daughter. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if the ex wife is poisoning Sarah against OP behind the scenes. OP is showcasing academic snobbery? Claiming that OP is being an academic snob for saying it's ridiculous to pay more than med school tuition for fashion school even though _OP is an art major himself_ is _laughable._ *IT IS* ridiculous to pay more than med school to learn about fashion, especially considering only about 10% of people who get into fashion actually become successful, and pointing that out isn't snobbery. Heck, my brother is going to med school and by the time he's done it will have cost him $200,000, but he will be making $180,000 right off the jump once he graduates. According to OP's post, Sarah's school would cost more than that (meaning OP would likely have to contribute $100k or more additional to pay for it with the $90k already in the account) and would not guarantee any amount of money after graduating. Spending more than $100k on a degree with no guarantee of making any significant amount of money after graduating and very little chance of success *is a stupid idea* regardless of what that degree is in. There are plenty of fashion schools that Sarah would be more than capable to afford with the $90k she already has that would give her _just as good of an education_ as the one she wants to go to. OP only cares about himself and not his daughter because he had a problem with her coming to yell at him at his office? Yep, clearly means he hates his daughter. It's completely reasonable to come and scream at your dad at his workplace with the clear intent on making him look bad in front of his colleagues instead of having a discussion in private like a mature adult. /s And can we honestly just mention how completely and utterly spoiled rotten and entitled Sarah is? Seriously, she expects her father to fork over what probably amounts to an entire year's salary just so she can gamble it away with a degree that has a very small chance of making her any money in the future? I wouldn't even consider demanding that my parents pay over $100k for me to pay for university out of pocket, regardless of what degree I was going for or how well-off they were. If Sarah wants to go to a super expensive school so bad then _she_ can take out the loans to do so. But she's not going to do that because she knows full well just like everyone else does that going into fashion is a gamble and has very little chance of success. She doesn't want to put herself into debt chasing a career path that has little chance of success, but she's more than happy to blow her father's money on it, her father that she constantly blows off and disrespects. Nah, to hell with that. I frequently _vehemently_ disagree with a lot of the frankly ludicrous takes that Markee has on some stories, and this is definitely one of them.

[@datmanydocris]

The story about the party and the mother with three kids: the other friends said "It was not okay to bring her 'home situation' to the discussion." and that OP was "insensitive of B's struggles." OP didn't bring B's home situation to the discussion, _B_ brought her home situation to the discussion by bringing up her three kids and how OP "doesn't know what tired is" and to "talk again when you also have 3 kids." And saying that OP was insensitive of B's "struggles", what about how insensitive B was about _OP's stuggles._ Give me an f-ing break. OP needs to get new friends that actually treat her with respect.

[@Nursern1974]

You do not owe B an apology she started the idea chastising you! She was rude and snide with her selfish comments and deserved exactly what she got. You called her on her BS!! Your “friends” need to check themselves and leave you alone

[@Nursern1974]

Brother asking for house brain damaged. NTA why should you give away your home?!? Keep both houses and let these vile people take care of themselves. Don’t buy into their insanity.

[@nuyabuisness7526]

That story about the mom with 3 boys and cooking. My dad is a great cook, couple of my uncles are fantastic cooks. I'm a great cook that was literally being brought in since I was 8 to make gravy and soups at family gatherings because I've got an extremely fine sense of taste and smell. All the men in my family are perfectly secure in their masculinity. Being able to cook is just a useful skill like any other.

[@leeannafitzgerel8740]

You worked for a home to live in, not to play Daddy Warbucks. The whole idea is so twisted!!!

[@minxilly1575]

Nah, I'm not on Sarah's side. She's grown up enough to effing be reasonable

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

2:43:30 so for Mother’s Day, I decided to be an actual father, but called it babysitting and called that a gift. When I said this to my wife, she was upset! 🤯 AITA? That’s how OP sounds. Yes, OP is TA. Couldn’t even make a card with the kids? 😒

[@pamelalaub6204]

Fathers don't babysit their own children. Along with their wives they raise them. If you tend to nieces , nephews or friends' children that would be true babysitting.

[@SingingMermaid4]

Love when people think "painting" isn't manly, even though the most famous painters are men. Edit: OP's bf from the insane house family drama: I assumed he was a good dude and wanted to be helpful to her.

[@drimwalkr8923]

Sometimes the true friends are the junkies we blew along the way... What even was that story

[@hilarymurray8741]

Birthday party story : NTA OP. The organisers are either extremely dense, rude or are wanting to insult you for some reason, (unless the surprise is also for you.) If it was that situation, you would not have been invited as a guest. If I was you, I would decline on the grounds that you and your gf are having a private dinner for two somewhere nice and friendly.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

1:20:58 I love how we just slipped this age gap in there. And then crazy slipped in right after, cuz WTAF?!

[@draumpje]

School nurse and spanish diagnosis Maybe she needs to stay in her lane … she is not a doctor And honestly , i have more faith in western and southern European healthcare than i would have in USA healthcare

[@angeleyesgreen1586]

Story 2: the mother isn't ruining their son. The father is ruining his relationship with his son with this crap load of misogyny. Gordon Ramsey, Jamie Oliver, etc are not weak, fragile, or sissies. And frankly, girls like boys who can feed them amazing food.

[@annageorge8406]

I have a twin sister, it felt so weird graduating college without her

[@lindahoward7309]

Where do you live? Country I mean! Do people give away their homes to siblings there if the parents say so? Don't give them anything! If they can't work as hard as you,they don't deserve any thing from. You!

[@toriibarlow]

The son that likes to cook would fare better with the girls. Women love men that help them, can cook and can take care of themselves. Cooking and eating is for everyone. It's a survival skill.

[@RARAgalliani]

My husband is the main chef in our household. I can't cook to save my life.

[@D64nz]

Everyone seems to be missing the key difference between the twin brothers, one has a gf, and one doesn't.

[@sammalsikuri3828]

Is it just me that finds the comment about the last story weird? The ones about OP telling his gf about his friend's scars beforehand. Excuse me, what?? Idk what kind of scars they were, but my mind immediately went to self-harm scars. I have many friends who have them, and I don't consider it a need to "warn" someone about them unless I'm aware they have trauma. I don't consider it a need to be told beforehand either if I were to meet someone new. I wouldn't stare either, nor would I ask about it, bc it's their business and they can decide when/if they want to talk about it. Is he the asshole for getting mad at her for asking about it later in private? For sure, all he needed to say that he wasn't comfortable with sharing his friend's story. But is he the asshole for supposedly not warning her?? No. I'm struggling to understand the logic here, I really don't see a reason to tell anyone beforehand unless I was aware they had trauma relating to it so they can be prepared. Otherwise that just sounds weird to me.

[@Darktrooper317]

19:36 agree also chef rush

[@natefisher73]

About Mother's Day. OP your NOT the asshole.... My ex tried that, after abandoning 10 years, when she took off cause she wanted to.. "It's Mother's Day. She demand my daughter and I give her money. And the "what is mine" BS. I handed the phone to my daughter. She took the phone, and told her to F-Off. And hung up on her

[@draumpje]

A fashion degree that costs more than 7 years med school is a lot Lets be honest

[@OceanLily]

He thinks Gordon Ramsay is a sissy?😂

[@lina9535]

"Typically not meant for boys", mentions painting. Me: *looks at all the male painters throughout history* Not for boys you say.

[@Neyfufu00]

Story 1" if he thinks cooking is a female role then stop cooking for him. Lets see weather or not he can cook for himself and "be a female cook" lol

[@lizziesmith6715]

Sometimes , even as twin they want their own space. 😮

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

2:33:22 lord have mercy, I see where this is going and I am disgusted!

[@kimholland4822]

Surely if the dog went to the vet they would have been able to get blood tests to find out what it ingested?

[@zk6019]

why do women talk sh*t about their husbands and when poeple agree they make a bunch of edits defending him?

[@susanlosey9511]

Why is he’s dating a 17 year old? He’s old enough to be her father. He needs to drop her! She’s controlling and isolating him from his friends.

[@suburbensiren8963]

Hey Markee? What is your reasoning for in the last story you said it was on OP for not warning his EX about his friends scars? I ask because by your logic it feels like people should warn others any time there is something visually different about a friend or family member. And by that logic I am wrong for not warning people about my fathers scar from when he had a tumor removed whenever I introduce someone to him.

[@hibiscusrose6074]

In another post some where didnt the brother cut out the woman who desperately wanted his twin brother.