From Borderline to Psychopath to Narcissist: Abused Language and Self States

The cluster B personality disorders (narcissistic, borderline, and antisocial-psychopathy) may be mere kaleidoscopic facets of an underlying dissociative process, amounting, in extreme cases, to full-fledged DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder, formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder). In other words: these personality types are self-states, "alters" of each other.
Having endured narcissistic injury or mortification, a trauma, or severe anxiety and stress, these patients decompensate and act out along predictable pathways: the borderline becomes a vicious secondary psychopath, the primary psychopath morphs into a rabid grandiose narcissist and the quavering narcissist shape-shifts into a codependent clinging borderline. These phase transitions are startling to behold and throw off even the most experienced clinician.
A lot of this has to do with the fact that cluster B disordered personalities find it near impossible to access, process, or regulate both emotions and cognitions. These gaping deficits interfere with the meanings that they attribute to the events in their lives and to people around them. The psychopath sees no meaning whatsoever in anything or anyone. The borderline regards herself as meaningless and everyone and everything else as mission critical to her personal autonomy and self-efficacious agency. The narcissist regards only himself as totally meaningful, draining all the rest of any significance.
When under radical pressure, these actors attempt to reframe the situation in a less injurious manner by reallocating and relocating the foci of meaning, thus seamlessly and smoothly transitioning between these extended and extensive role plays that we call "personality disorders".
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[@abdelfane3789]

Sam Vaknin is the best psychology professor I've heard of at this point 👍

[@fredifeinkost1985]

Dito

[@user-bz9se3dv3r]

I absolutely Agree100%…👌🏿👌🏿👍🏿

[@breemorrison901]

Professor, you were YEARS ahead of everyone in your field when you posted this lecture. Well done, sir. 😮

[@MinnieTyko]

You’re damn right they can act! My nex’s first language is Spanish and in court he pretended to not know English! Even though he and I communicated in English 99% of the time! He even sat and waited for the translator to translate the words he knew and understood, looking clueless until she translated it! I almost stood and clapped for that performance. He was so method. He straight up acted and it was Oscar worthy. He did that to look innocent and also feign naïveté.

[@forestyouteacher]

They love using language and cultural barriers to their advantage.

[@th8257]

Fantastically interesting stuff. The famous psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg believed that narcissism was a psychological defence mechanism against an underlying Borderline Personality. It makes so much sense that the cluster B personality disorders are related like that.

[@carlag3829]

222 we

[@patriciamaxwell4751]

I could listen to you all day! Please don’t stop what you are doing. You provide knowledge, and knowledge is power and empowering. Stay gold😊

[@samvaknin]

My videos require days of research and lots of effort - yet very few people watch them. If viewership continues to be abysmally low, I may yet decide to call it a day. For some reason, people avoid my videos even though they are the best of breed, as far as the scholarly research that goes into them.

[@patriciamaxwell4751]

Sam Vaknin DONT you dare stop ever

[@naneva3456]

I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS

[@naneva3456]

@@samvaknin 🥰

[@SoapsLuvr]

Sam Vaknin, I think it requires a certain level of intellect to appreciate your work and videos. Since most people are average or dumb, PLEASE don’t look at quantity of viewership as a barometer. Think of the QUALITY you offer the people that are smart enough to handle what you offer, as well as the abused people who need a more complex understanding of these topics than most. I only became aware that my family were covert narcissists 4 years ago, and it takes a long time for survivors to go through the stages of awareness & recovery. I only now just started getting into your videos. I had to start with baby steps because it is all so intense. But your videos will stand the test of time & help others in the future. They will be there when people are ready to handle the intensity of the subject matter. Please do not give up your work in these videos!

[@aimeeblack76]

I've noticed that with some people who have personality disorders, in addition to exhibiting traits from quite a few of the cluster B personalty disorders when triggered, they also seem to suddenly act a certain age, for example, a 10 year old boy, and then other times they will act a bit older and playful like a collage age person, and then, of course when things are going ok, they will behave their actual age (grown man). It's fascinating to be there when this happens. It's like you're with another person, but it's them, just younger.

[@billb6575]

I've seen the same chartiristics in women. Just got out of a relationship with one. In the beginning i noticed the child-like charactistics in her. She seemed to be around 10 to 12 years old. Not to mention the rage attacts after she not getting what she felt she should be gitting. Craziest thing I've ever been around. Im also thankful to have come across Sam's videos. Now i know what was off with her

[@NkNk-vg8fc]

bill b she’s hurting and she doesn’t have impulse control! It’s like an out of body experience when we go thru these rages! It’s sad but good you got out! She may start stalking you though😳

[@billb6575]

@@NkNk-vg8fc she stalked me cor about 4 months, but now im thinking she has moved on to her next victim. Her rages came when she didn't get sex, mostly. If it was over a day without sex, it was then it started to affect her. I called the law a few times, because she would start destroying my personal belongings. The last time she took my car keys and left home. i called the law, she finally came back home. The officer ask her what was going on, and she told the officer, he (me) hasn't given me sex in 3 days. The most rediculas thinking ive ever been around. Her personalty disorder, im sure came from her childhood. Her parents are very disfunctional, like zombies, as Sam puts it.. If you ever get the chance look on youtube at the, Still Face Experiment, it clearly will give you perspective on how these disorders happen.

[@kathleenwirth5225]

Yes, it's so weird, I've noticed that too. They giggle like little kids or act "cute" like a little kid. It's the weirdest, creepiest thing. I've never seen it in normal people.

[@billb6575]

@Janina Palance she is damaged, the situation was crazy. You should see her when a mirror was around, she admired heself like ive never seen before. She wanted my soul. She wanted me to be at her ever beckoning call. She wanted sex everyday, if not everyday, every other day, and she kept score. If it went past 2 days, the rages started. If she didnt get it, i was cheating on her. She got my phone early ine morning and called every female in my contact list. Names that have been there for years, most my female clients, from selling health and life insurance. She would take my personal belongings and throw them out the front door. I knew she wasn't right in her thinking, and i thought i could help her. She would even tell me i was her main support system. She was diagnosed with bipolar, but i knew it was mire than that! She manipulated her physcitrist, her counselor and anybody else that would give her attention. I don't call people crazy, but peoples actions are crazy, and hes was by far the worst!

[@vincentwilliams8685]

Gosh! These videos are truly amazing. Narcissism has so much stuff going on behind the scenes; the resentment; DID; envy etc it just goes on and on. No wonder it's called a 'disorder'. I can't keep up with it all. Truly interesting and sad and yet they are 'happy'? I can't work it out. So complex.

[@th8257]

Really recommend looking up the work of the famous psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg (some of his stuff is on youtube). He looked into this kind of stuff in some depth. One of the things he believed was that Narcissism was a coping mechanism to deal with an underlying Borderline Personality.

[@vincentwilliams8685]

@@th8257 thankyou, Dr Vaknin mentions OK also often Ive noticed.

[@LimitlessThinker]

This is so much better than some of the classes I had in psychology when in university. Sam, you are amazingly adept and knowledgeable. I love your use of vocabulary. Refreshing.

[@saadhassan8568]

Y

[@3SRtales]

I was always struggeling with the fact, that cluster B disorders are being categorized into different types, since the disorder would shift fluently (covert / borderline / psychopathy) during the different stages of narcissistic cycles or stressful events. This finally gave clarification and insight.

[@davidmurtagh8440]

Hhrrjrr Reenj

[@kristyann_npcbikini6710]

That is exactly what I’m dealing with!!!! Exactly! Thank you!!!! Trying to divorce this is the hardest challenge I ever took on 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@philsdon8932]

I love your command of the language. Listening to you is a luxury.

[@myplacidcave]

Brilliant lecture ❤ Sometimes when I look into my eyes in the mirror, the look was powerful; which made me scared and I run away. Because I don't use all my gifts and talents and have liked to be rescued instead. Many times when brushing my teeth, I don't look at my face in the mirror, because if I look I would feel disappointed because I know I'm letting myself down and not using my skills well.

[@robertferris9942]

Yes,... they constantly relocate the goalposts at random intervals throughout the game until they finally have the goalposts removed altogether!!!

[@lancesolomons7581]

This video should be part of the school curriculum

[@lejci38]

Even before I knew the name for my mothers' bs (boderline with strong narcissistic traits) I wanted to record her verbal vomit, cause I couldn't understand what was going on, how I always ended up somehow being guilty for everything ...literally everything from the sun shining too much to me not being somebody else, different ...

[@littlelily4]

Me too, and I turned into a bpd as well as a result from her attitude and other events that happened to me The key is to be aware of it, and to accept you have an issue, and that you need help. I'm going to therapy, and my days as a bpd will soon be over. Unfortunately my mom is very stubborn, so I don't even know if she will ever change or accept she needs help

[@littlelily4]

@@mec.laurapalmer7155 yeah I almost have no symptoms

[@BlueSky-ff4oy]

This is SO appreciated. ( I would have had to read so many books to grasp half of this and wouldn't have known where to start. )

[@earthfriendlydesignhub725]

On behalf of all people like myself, surrounded by nacissist, father and siblings with divastating effect on my quality of life. I say thank you Processor Vaknin.

[@knispo8850]

This is fascinating and scary. After viewing many of your videos, I wonder is there a ‘normal’ personality profile or are we all on a disordered spectrum?

[@samvaknin]

The Construct of Normal Personality samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders6.html

[@101Bettis]

"Psychopaths Just Wanna Have Fun" -Cindy Lauper

[@bell2761]

I love your content mostly because where I live no one believes in or knows about personality disorders. I've had many professors and therapist tell me "I don't believe in that" so of course how could I ever open up or talk about my issues when I'm immediately dismissed? It gives me hope that some day I will find someone willing to listen to me. Rather than simply chalk it up to a simple depressive, anxiety disorder and offer meds.

[@_I_KNOW_HOW_THE_FLOWERS_FELT_]

Thank you sincerely for this video and all your videos - Thank you also for your vast knowledge and expertise - I feel extremely blessed to be educated by you.

[@WesleyCookChannel]

So eloquent, doc. Spot on yet again.

[@yolanda3883]

Amazing. Invaluable insight. Thank you.

[@shelbywalker9699]

I think this is one of your best lectures to date. Thank you. Maybe you could list your favorite psychological influences sometime? I would be interested to know who you admire and respect.

[@truthinaction0000]

Thank you for the link, the other day. I didn't articulate myself very well, downside to text instead of speech. Good day, Good Sir.

[@seviyorim]

There has been a eureka moment in watching this for me regarding processing what Ive experienced. I’m the kind of person who needs to understand and explain things to myself intellectually in order to process and overcome fully, not merely in an emotional sense. Therefore I hope that these eureka moments will continue as they seem to be a key to embracing life as I did, once again. [Inspired by 14:00]

[@koreenalaw8644]

Incredibly brilliant video!!

[@juliewilliams489]

Wow very interesting, so much to unpack. Your describing actions with very different motives to my perception. Your concepts are backed to front/upside-down to what theories I've formed from experience. Thankyou for sharing such detailed analysis

[@mostthegames3723]

Thank you!! This explains soooo much

[@paper-chasepublications9433]

Very insightful. Thank you.

[@Xhayl]

Thank you so much. This makes a lot of sense to me.

[@martynakardela6280]

This video is extremely helpful as to anyone who deals with persona like that it can be so confusing but that explain a lot ! I always describe my ex as shape shifter.🙏🏻

[@karlyfazzino2643]

Don't know if it is logical, but it feels it to me that the reason narcs are more often men and women more often BPD is in part due to our gendered stereotype programming we receive growing up. Girls are able to express emotion openly but then are derided as being weaker or incapable because we can lose ourself in our emotions for a time, which seems "useless" but it accomplishes soothing the self and relieving the energy buildup that occurs with intense negative emotion which we realize because we can feel it, it has a purpose even if we are often not using it well. Boys are taught to not express emotions but to be tough and stoic, that they are needed to be that way or else they are not men, theyre "gay" or "pussy" (because being female is degrading, something like that Madonna song - what it feels like for a girl) And so boys learn that they wont get any benefit when they express emotion, in fact its a threat to their manhood, so they learn to devalue emotions and mock them because they do still feel the emotions but feel weakened by them, not relieved or strengthened. Then they put on the mask they believe they can never take off and become bitter about those who still openly express themselves. They find and admire the qualities in the other they do not possess, for the narc the openness and genuine effacing honesty of the BPD is so endearing, someone that is very emotional but seems to survive and sometimes thrive because of their emotionality and being themselves. The BPD is endeared to the calm, coolness of the narc, their abiliry to remain unflappable in situations they could not, able to not let their emotions overwhelm them. Its like they know there is something wrong with them and that the other has the exact opposite issue; that if they could teach and balance one another they could become healthy, but they are both so deep down im their story it is almost impossible and often just a chaotic clash until horribly painful ends. Scared of getting berated by Sam for spouting shit, but Im just throwing my thoughts out there for discussion. I am not a dr obviously!

[@samvaknin]

Gender Bias in Diagnosing Personality Disorders samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders28.html

[@annetteniebelski7513]

Karly - it probably has more to do with brain structure being different between males and females because this happens globally no matter what culture.

[@eliswebster8847]

Dr. Vaknin your ten min. summary in this video re Cluster B. as orbiting around each other, is a revelation. It helps reveal and define the friends who come at us cruelly in an anti social or litigious way. Thank you.

[@th8257]

It's becoming more and more accepted that BPD is over diagnosed in women and under diagnosed in men. I do really recommend looking up the work of the famous psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg (some of his stuff is on youtube). One of the things he believed was that Narcissism was a coping mechanism to deal with an underlying Borderline Personality.

[@healthychick9450]

Well this explains the internet

[@cjswick5441]

Thank you Sam.

[@chotasingh7939]

I think I m in love with the professor 🙂

[@agnese2215]

Brillant

[@vickiezaccardo1711]

I like the analogy to tree roots.

[@elizabethmurphy4971]

..perhaps the different categories/ diagnoses/ types of personality disorders that we (psychology and society) have labelled and continue to label are the variety of ways the broken person deals with his brokenness/ personality disorder in order to function. And It's the brokenness that needs to be treated..not the label

[@brettgreen1467]

Thanks for taking the time out every day to do these videos. This perspective does need to be heard, especially by younger folks, perhaps mid teens to early twenties. I have a feeling even though folks as young as 10-11 need to hear it as well, but may get distracted due to the collapse of the human attention span largely based on having problems solved instantaneous these days, i.e. cell phones. I don't call them smart phones, because they are not smart, and they are making us stupid. I call them cell phones. because what do prisoners live in at the jail? CELLS. So yes, I view the Cell Phone as a sort of virtual prison we have crested for not only ourselves, but our children too, although I have no children. I have no children because my girlfriend/fiance at the time was going to choose her career over motherhood, even though I was bringing in 6 figures at the time and could have supported a family. She works at Gilead, no less. Which is a great accomplishment, if that's what you are into. She almost quit when she found out Donald Rumsfeld was still on the board of directors, and that was her crossroads. She wanted to become an O Chem professor in the California State University system instead, and this was 2008. I more or less talked her out of it with misgivings, however had she quit after being there for 2 years, she would most likely have never found the spot she wanted as a professor, and the California State University system is notorious for underpaying their staff, and they also have an epidemic of laying off staff at a moments notice due to the corruption that has seeped into the California education system. They will layoff great teachers in order to keep the CEO's yearly bonus not only intact, but growing at an exponential rate. It's a good thing she stayed at Gilead, because a few months after I told her the housing market was about to go busto, the economy crashed, and she held her job. Now they make Remdeivir. Really good for her. If that's what you are into. 6 months after I made that suggestion to her, we broke up, called off the wedding due to my opiate addiction, and we parted ways mutually because I did not want to jeopardize. Yes, addicts can still make great money. But I digress. People need to hear your videos while their egos are still developing and perhaps they can learn that narcissistic, materialistic, meglo-maniacal psychopathic behavior is a cancer on our society and needs to be sawed off where the cancer is growing, and let the love replace it. Love, appreciation, it happens again, we willadmiration, trust, honesty, being a great listener, being helpful, and thoughtful of others and selfless are the basic building blocks of a good person, and the building blocks we need our youth the learn immediately in order for them to help us older folks down the line when we can't do it with finesse and competence anymore. Sure we will be able to love , trust, listen, and help, but as we age, our ability to work hard without mistakes, or work competently. I don't know how many 80 year old s can go out and say work in a truck driving business, or any physical labor. And if these Millennials are chewed up inside with this narcissistic behavior, the only persons left in the world will be crooks, thieves, con-man, the confidence man, the pickpocket, the banker, the lawyer(no offense, there are some great lawyers out there, but, well, you know....), the peeping-tom, the porn-star, the gambler, the cheat. I am not sure if we haven't already gotten to that point. It seems as though the whole world has become one big Ponzi Scheme, and the only reason you hear of people getting in trouble for running ponzi's is they have to throw someone under the bus every few years to make it look like they are fighting for our rights and our protection. No the laws, the lawyers, the cops, the military, the religions are all there for one thing: to control us, and to protect the elites, and the bankers from us. That is it. So yes, almost everything is a scam. The West has been sold out to China and our economy is based mostly on people consuming trinkets that has no real use other than to distract us from the horrible reality that we have been constructed into. These companies make super sub par quality items that fall apart in a month so you have to buy more. If you want to stop the problem, do not comply. Stop consuming the BS, stop letting the media brainwash you, stop supporting food/tobacco/liquor companies that are killing you, stop storing your money in a bank. The banks take your money, and guess what they use it to invest for their profit. Not yours. They used to share the profits at it was called interest. Say you had $1,000 in the bank,and you didn't touch it all year. When interests rates were 15-20% guess what, at the end of the year you would have$1,150 in the bank. They used to share the profits of the money you deposited because they took your money and invested it into the stock market. Why do you think we had the Great Depression? All the people that had bank accounts with their hard earned money in there let the banks ruin them when the stock market crashed because the banks lost their money in the stock market and had nothing left to give to the account holders. And it keeps happening. Stop supporting banks, or at least stop storing all your money in there. Because if it happens again, the same thing will happen. No more money in your bank account because they lost it. We can't keep bailing them out. Anyway, I digress again. Just trying to help people realize we are being lied to by the narcissists that run the world(media, banks, pharma, security, etc.) and we are being used to their own devices. Start taking responsibility for your own actions. Did I ever think a one time that Purdue Pharmaceuticals should have been sued for creating, and marketing a pain relief medication? Heck no, and I was addicted to their medication for 7 years. Do I blame the doctor? No, do I blame Purdue? No. I blame myself 100% because it was myself that made the decision to go to the doctor's and ask for that medication. I was in pain from a severe accident. I could have weened off the medication anytime, but instead, I got smart, and took responsibility for my mistake, and went into a treatment program that uses another type of medication to keep me maintained and sober from the drug seeking behavior that ruined my life at the time. I am still in treatment and will be for the rest of my life. and that's ok. I have a wonderful career, a wonderful life, a wonderful group of people that love and care, and a wonderful family that has put up with massive amounts of BS from me as a weed smoking teenager, to a marijuana producing adult(one time my dad actually helped me tear down an indoor marijuana grow garden because the property owner decided it had bad optics and i bet in a million years he would have never thought he would be in that position with me. He actually liked it because it was a new experience and the garden was legal because it was medically licensed by the state, so he wasn't worried about doing anything illegal, and I would never put him in a position that would jeopardize his freedom), to an adult that has learned from the massive amount of near life ending mistakes. I have apologized to the people I have hurt, but not all since I have lost touch with some, but the hurt went around not because I did something bad to persons physically, but I lost their trust, and some of them cared for me deeply, but others are still doing the same things we were doing then. So that's one of the other reasons I don't interact with them because some of them did not have my best interests at heart and were only concerned if I was going to show up to the party with coke, or whatever. Please people, relearn to love one another, to forgive one another, not to be afraid of one another, learn to learn from one another, to listen, to listen. I say that twice because it is so important. So many people are hurt from this current situation in the world, all they want is for someone to listen to them. And be good, just like Mr Sam here. Thanks for all your insights. I am very fortunate to have come to the time in my life when I virtually cross paths with you. It could not have happened at a much better time, hence the synchronicity of the moment. Good luck, Sam. Humans have one thing that distinguishes them from animals: HOPE.

[@ovahneastwood7211]

Could it be that cluster B personality disorders are not illnesses themselves, rather they are symptoms of a fragmented, broken or frozen individual who never came to be. Therefore the real illness that needs to be fixed is beyond the diagnosed personality disorder for they are just symptoms like the pain you feel if you break your arm, the arm needs to be fixed for the pain to go away. Sorry if this is repeating what you have said but I just wanted to say my bit.

[@samvaknin]

You said your bit by repeating what I had just said. I have no idea why you wasted everybody's time, fully aware of it as you clearly are.

[@ovahneastwood7211]

@@samvaknin Are there currently any therapies which aim to revive and grow the original self ? If not, do you believe the future holds such therapies? BTW your videos are amazing.

[@MirjamUnterreiner-mu1vn]

Hahaha

[@barbaraladams5304]

When the narcissist moves to borderline how does his/her no self get the borderline’s false self and emotions where there was nothimg before?

[@jenniferbutler8616]

why does my narc boyfriend flip on a dime ? i mean his texts were lovely said he misses me and am i gonna stay at hotel with him, i answered yes ....when he arrived to pick me up , prior to a brief phonecall where i could tell he wasnt the same ,accusatory like he is EVERY day and im not cheating , he says im dropping u at home i say what about thehotel ? he proceeds to rant with hostility and i begin to weep and get scared ,,, should i go with him or not ? i do not have a choice for real , he physically abused me by slapping me across the face. he proceeded to call me names and take my phone to tell me he is not giving it back.... i wanted to open door and put myself in traffic for this has been the 5th time he put his hands on me. i ended it this is nothing but insane behavior i refuse to repeaqt the same mistakes or attempts hoping for different results !! it NEVER happens. now he phone harrassing me im wondering if he wasnt ready for my disgard and he tought i would keep takimg it., well he can go to hell and burn to smithereens bedfore i give him a smidg of attentionz i was grade a supply too he is gonna be hurting and disintergratng , deuces narcissist

[@donquixote6866]

Hi Sam, l wonder if you might discuss hatred for the target of a malignant narcissist---particularly if the parent is the narc. My abuse was so vile, l believe she was trying to end my life or get me to do so. Is this common? She is a shy narc. and as such goes undetected and actually portrays herself a victim.

[@buddhasgreens]

i have your book Sam, can you suggest a book on psychopathy please?

[@miriambarco8832]

MC Escher.... lmao 🤣 ... Perfect ! Thank u

[@beija-florchloe1673]

Dr. Vaknin, does that mean every time he answers one of my questions with a “maybe”, it means yes and he is just trying to see if I’m “ok” with it? What if he says “maybe, maybe not”?

[@dakotasnow2522]

Is there such a thing as someone with a personality disorder who has a trend / pattern or predisposition, or gravity (romantically) to other people with personality disorders?

[@stephynations86]

What if they are extremely smart/ educated and know to be careful with using fallacy and cliche? Is there harm in being a high functioning antisocial personality and where can you see it helping society?

[@samvaknin]

I can see it helping self-enriching, self-interested, self-styled "experts" and "scholars" who propagate such nonsense.

[@corajohnson2219]

Can you do a video on Cluster B's and Love? More specifically, BPD and love. There is mixed literature on whether people w/ BPD can in fact feel and experience love. The sentiment seems to be that Borderlines cannot experience healthy love. Clarification would be much appreciated.

[@samvaknin]

Borderlines experience the full range of emotions. Narcissists and psychopaths don't. samvak.tripod.com/faq33.html

[@101Bettis]

Also, about crises- Maybe this regression and encouragement of magical thinking is why so many of the condemned men in prison (or sometimes elsewhere) so often turn to religion? Prison inmates, drug addicts, your "rock bottom" types, and type of situation.

[@sarahsphere4956]

Sam, I have some questions for you! I am coming out of an abusive 3 year relationship and have been watching many of your videos, which are eye opening to my experiences. I have believed (for over a year) that my man is borderline... he goes into rages... but I have seen instances of him feeling empathy (crying when his daughter got hurt), however he is very narcissistic and could have NPD and I am just in denial... hoping that he is capable of loving our child and myself... How common is BPD in men? Is there an easy way to tell BPD from NPD when you have been in a relationship with that person? Do you believe people can have BPD and still make good parents? Or will he just end up damaging our child since he refuses to get help...? Thank you.

[@samvaknin]

Watch the vids about covert Borderline. About one quarter to third of people diagnosed with BPD are men.

[@VictoriaMeeker]

Mine did the same .. I even had some anxiety attacks from him and cried? Sounds like yours has both. BPD and NPD and maybe even some physcopathic traits mine did. Went from rage, even wanted to die without me, then clingy and needy then acted tough the more I got assertive and wanted more. They can have more than just NPD or BPD they can have a combo. And shift between personalities and between borderline and NPD along with that rage. You also could be triggering him maybe from a place of shame or something he did and they just do that. It’s like a love hate thing it’s very odd

[@Graylawn]

I am also comng out o a 3 year love relationship with the sweetest, most humble appearing man. He was such a love and gave me unconditional love. That was until I started to express some of my needs. He disappeared. I have been so heartbroken and cofused. These videos have helped me understand so much in my recovery from extreme shock and sadness. I did not want to see the truths that I am now seeing. I was cancelled as he decided I was in the way of his goals.

[@lizameila7090]

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

[@take2rollem]

Oh my goodness, yes that's how they use language......So many non-sensical words, robotic in nature. In regards to the fantasy thinking.....I have to recognize it and say first to myself I'm not going there and I say to him well chosen words to the effect that I'm not going there.

[@pairikaneversleeps3807]

I match the borderline personality traits but people around me don't get it seriously and I am still too dependant to just leave and get better. Doctors keep diagnosing anxiety disorder and treating with stuff like fluoxetine and they don't want to even consider bpd! I had experienced narcissistic abuse and also been neglected as a child and I cant seem to be managing my life that is going through a real odd direction. Any advice to work this out alone would help thanks.

[@pairikaneversleeps3807]

@@TurningTesting thanks. I took a note of your advice and Im gonna keep noticing them all through.

[@fracturedfairytales979]

@Prof.Sam Vaknin has just ( he is prolific & generous here in YTLand) decoded the most dangerous creatures on the planet. Priceless. 🔑💛.

[@sarahmichelle9046]

When a covert or an overt narcissist gets mortified, let’s just say they switch to a borderline. Does this mean they will now have REAL feelings, like borderlines do? I remember you said they can switch and I am very curious to hear your answer. Thank you Sam!

[@samvaknin]

Yes. They will regain access to their long repressed emotions and become dysregulated.

[@mec.laurapalmer7155]

@@samvaknin Isnt it that there are negative emotions felt after mortification and dont the narcissists have access to those always? Thank you for your work Dear Professor.

[@huandru]

Some people use, and cling to, principles, ideals and adaptive strategies long after they know enough to evolve from them. Are these strategies even useful? They seem to escape reality testing. It takes a great deal of honesty and effort to live life as a process, where one repeats what works and lays off what doesn't. For some people, their starting point is their conclusion. They argue from conclusions instead of towards them. Cluster B types are idealists, and the original "anti-science" types.

[@insookchoi4727]

Is there some specific connections between these disorders and forgetfulness?

[@insookchoi4727]

Sorry for the grammar: I meant ‘Are there …’

[@samvaknin]

Search the channel for “dissociation”.

[@JD-pj1hx]

@SamVaknin Thank you for your videos and very interesting insights. Why is it that when you talk about Borderlines you refer to them as "she''? And when you talk about Narcissists or Psycopaths you refer to them as "he"? Just curious. 🙂 Keep posting. 👍

[@samvaknin]

Majority of diagnosed borderlines are women and majority of diagnosed narcissists are men.

[@JD-pj1hx]

@SamVaknin So a different manifestation in men vs women. I'm curious as to why it would manifest in the form of BPD in women and NPD in men, is it that they integrate childhood 'trauma' differently. Or rather project it differently due to different social conditionning. Newbie here - so I appreciate the insights. 🙂 👍

[@cemilbuhan3111]

i wonder if those borderline people can act also in the films if they are kind of an actor in real life maybe they can transform this deformaton into something beneficial or is there any borderline actors? i just heard Marlyn Monroe as she has both borderline and bi polar....

[@jillainenewman1358]

Another tour de force, Sam.

[@vaibhavdwivedi8860]

49:50

[@HadleyMeredith]

Lol