FTM: 1 Year On Testosterone Transition (Singing Edition)

Hi everyone! My name is Kishuan and I've been working for over a year on a project that I hold very close to my heart. Over two years ago, I made the decision to go through with a life-long journey of medically transitioning. I changed my name, and began seeing a gender therapist, to consult about the possibility of taking masculinizing hormones.
One thing that I was very hesitant about was the changes that testosterone would make on my voice. I loved to sing, and I still do, and although singing with such a high voice back then gave me so much dysphoria, I was scared of losing my ability to sing. Regardless of those fears, I found that living as my true self outweighed any of the losses that may come with it, and so began this project.
Now that I am one year on testosterone, I would like to share my journey.
I would love for this video to one day reach someone and inspire them to live authentically and un-apologetically.
Like, share, and subscribe! 😄
Instagram: @kishuan0
Background Music: Hypnotized · Weston Estate · Marco Luka · Tanu • Hypnotized

[@kishuan7355]

Just for anyone asking the song names, here's a list, going in order by each month: Lost without U - Robin Thicke Fool For You - Snoh Aalegra Erase - Omar Apollo Sunday Morning - Maroon 5 Easy - Mac Ayres A Whole New World - Lea Salonga & Brad Kane (Disney's Aladdin) Remember Me - Carlos Rivera (Coco) Lovebug - Jonas Brothers Kung Maibabalik Ko Lang - BuDaKhel Stronger Than - Gabe Bondoc Spend My Life With You - Eric Benet Bakit Ba Ikaw - Michael Pangilinan On Bended Knee - Boyz II Men Because Of You - Ne-Yo Lemonade - Jeremy Passion Angel 2 Me - Jeff Bernat & McKay over and over - sky Brokenhearted - Brandy Imahe - Magnus Haven Overjoyed - Stevie Wonder Cheers! :D

[@dyebrada6468]

Yay. Thank you

[@dyebrada6468]

Love your song choices.

[@yian95954]

Are you south Korean? I think you are from east Asian

[@ksthepro.]

​@@yian95954answering very late,but he's filipino.

[@innohasclay9996]

Are you Pinoy? I’m a Filipino trans boy and it’s so nice to find another Filipino trans boy. Btw you have a great singing voice!

[@makkeoli]

i'm a trans boy too and lately i've been having doubts about starting testosterone cause i thought that my ability to sing was gonna dissapear, i dunno why but that was one of my most important concerns but by watching your video and others too, it really helped me get my mind on track and just decide to start that transition, thank you very much for sharing this, actualy i think i´m gonna cry just by writing this comment, singing is so important in my life i don't know what i would do if I couldn't sing so yeah thank you man

[@nickthebrazilianguy]

same!! I was so worried about it

[@Dakotag947]

I was having the same fears. Singing is an enormous thing in my life, and my only concern was how testosterone would affect my voice, especially my volume. I'm so glad there are videos like this out there.

[@dylanagoblin9298]

Singing is my whole life and if I lost my voice I’d lose everything so that’s why I’m here too 💖

[@makkeoli]

update, so i've been on testosterone for like 6 months now i think, i have a little mustache xd, and maaaaan my muscles r like huge and i don't even go to the gym, also like i have no ass now, i dunno, all the fat that was going there now is in my stomach 🤦‍♂️ but anw i'm glad with the changes i'm having, also my register is a loooot deeper in a really nice way, but to sing i have some problems but is just cause i'm still adjusting, it's like a 2nd puberty, also, 3 comments wow, god bless you people, i hope everything is okay and i wish you a very happy life

[@lunalovedraw3783]

I’ve been having doubts too, especially about what if I regret it and ruin everything.. but everyone has been so comforting and proving that it’s going to be okay and that it’s perfectly fine to feel scared

[@vinny6375]

Holy shit I don't think I've heard any other trans guy sound this clean every month. Also your guitar playing is beautiful as well. This has really inspired me!!

[@bowleowle]

Trans boy here, thank you so much for posting this. I've seen so many horror stories of T ruining people's voices, esp when it comes to singing, and it's the number 1 reason I'm reluctant to start HRT. Singing... If I _lost_ that, I don't know what I'd do with myself. Thank you so so much for helping me and so many others see that really, there's nothing to worry about. Really, thank you.

[@noahjohnson6692]

Boy what do you mean you can't sing? That was beautiful!

[@CandyKitty_Doll]

I agree, I'm getting voice lessons next month to boost up my confidence and get better at singing. I am ok at it, but I want to be better.

[@shining_valoka]

Great singing bro. Made me less scared about going on T. I love singing but I’m reaalllyy shy regarding my voice. Sometimes I almost can’t say a word on public. Pretty hard. Because of that all I can do is “whisper sing”.

[@timeywimeyfezzes]

omg I feel like that so much! I've never thought someone would feel the same as me

[@kerokeroppii]

yeahh same

[@BeautyInTheMagic]

My voice makes me incredibly dysphoric. I’ve loved singing my entire life, but there are days it makes me so sad to do so. This gives me hope that my voice will at least get lower where I feel more comfortable using it consistently. (Also, your voice is literal butter 😂)

[@reighn831]

Losing my ability to sing is a sacrifice I was entirely prepared to make,, but seeing this I think I won't have to make any sacrifices at all. Thanks for the video

[@kerokeroppii]

I'm really scared about the changes T can do to my voice, I also love singing and even tho it makes me dysphoric I still love to do it; this video is really comfortating for me, it's just a way for me to know that T isn't going to ruin my voice, thank you for this video. Much love 💜

[@timeywimeyfezzes]

just can relate 🥺💜

[@kerokeroppii]

@@timeywimeyfezzes omg love your pfp

[@alexhornewer8396]

Holy SHIT you have an amazing voice, this makes me feels so much better about not losing my singing voice on T, thank you!

[@TheSeaSwells]

I feel the same way, this video really put my mind at ease. Did you end up starting T? If so, how was your vocal progression?

[@rachelkamradt9836]

omg the filipino songs inserted in there are giving me LIFE

[@garyaguto9667]

Amazing braddah. The voice changed but you still had all that control. Proud of you.

[@foregroundeclipse8725]

My man your way too humble. Your pretty damn good at singing! I'm so happy for you! Sometime in April I'm going to see someone to start HRT. I'm trans man pre-T and everything who's 20 years old. I've waited a good portion of my life for this very moment. Hopefully I can make it. You inspire me and I can't wait to see what videos you make in the future.

[@lizpup4090]

Omg this helps me feel more confident transitioning I was so scared I wouldn't be able to sing after my voice changes. I love this

[@Orchidlettux]

My singing voice isn’t a problem for me losing it (since I suck at it anyway) but I’m glad you’re comfortable with who you are now! I really love your voice! Once I’ll be old enough to start T I’ll try to practice on my singing :D

[@Fab-ow8co]

Every time I feel insecure about my singing voice changing with T, I watch this video. You sound so good

[@nikoloar5056]

that kid singing with u awwwwww

[@kristengronlund]

I got goosebumps listening to you sing. Woa. Dude. Dude. I got a little emotional. Your emotions really show through your voice when you’re singing.

[@jamesfactora1939]

thank you so much for sharing; also filipino and this video means a lot to me as someone who's put off transitioning for years because of the effect on my singing voice

[@gagetheking9309]

Thank you so much for this video! Really man from the bottom of my heart!! I’ve been so worried that My music Career would totally be RECKED when I started T but this gives me so much hope!! You sound awesome!!!

[@Edge_Personal]

Brooooo that tenor hitcha on month twoooooo I cant wait for my S.O. to hit the vocal range he's always wanted tooooo~

[@foregroundeclispeleon6223]

Your singing voice is amazing dude! I'm a trans man ftm too but I'm Pre-T I hope I can start testronone soon.

[@alternategender8471]

I used to be a soprano and I really hope to sing again someday but it’s hard to change where I sing from. Used to such a more head-tone than throat or chest tone. You inspire me for sure!

[@wrennnnnnnnn4811]

Singing is probably one of the most important things in my life, and I’ve always thought I just wasn’t gonna go on t to preserve my voice, and that might still be true as I’m not 100% sure on my identity, but this is really reassuring that my skill won’t go away. Thank you for this. Beautiful voice

[@dylan4142]

im 1 month on t and god i wanna be just like you when im 1 year!!!!!!!! go king, left no crumbs

[@sbudke8607]

literally everything about his singing voice oh my god his singing voice is soooooooo goooooooddddd

[@damidevil5257]

You gave me a bit of hope ;-; I'm a singer who just took my first T dose today. I've already accepted the loss of my voice a bit, but now I might try and rehearse through and see if I can't keep this talent I've built up all my life.

[@Ariel_is_a_dreamer]

Hey, how's your voice now? :)

[@ollie8314]

2-3 months is hitting me like a truck right now. This is giving me a lot of comfort and hope and makes me eager to work with my voice coming into the future

[@Bradley6761]

Thank you so much for posting this, it's given me so much hope and joy

[@TreasureSky4257]

I Am Looking To Transition & I Am A Singer. You Are Amazing From The Beginning Of Your Transition & The Continuation. Thank You So Much For This. You Are Truly An Inspiration.

[@leonorabrandscheit]

this helps so much. i'm afraid to lose my singing voice, but your talent, which doesn't got lost, fills me with hope :)

[@Airbender1802]

Your voice, Guitar and singing are so pretty and calming!

[@moonstrifflimestone5493]

Man I really love seeing these singing transition timelines, great singing bro!

[@lyonclaws5737]

you make a sick aladdin, keep it coming man!! you're fucking cool!!

[@vintimusica]

omg dude your voice is amazing and this video comforted me SO MUCH as an ftm singer who wants to go on T

[@rae2030]

im a 17 year old transboy pre-T and i was trying to sing an OPM song earlier but felt dysphoric because of the sound of my voice and if the amount of euphoria i felt from hearing your singing voice on 2-3 months wasnt enough, when i realized you were singing a filipino song on 5 months of T i cried. this made me so hopeful. so, genuinely, thank you so much for making this video :))

[@mercyorsomething]

just wanna let you know that this video is still helping people. i wont die wondering. thank you.

[@DSKim-ej5uf]

세상모두가힘든 지금 이시기에 이렇게 값진영상 감사히 잘 감상했습니다.코로나19가 하루빨리 사라지기를 바라면서 동시에 님 채널이 점점발전되셔서 꼭 초대형채널이되시기를 진심응원드려요. Corona virus 19, where concerns have become a reality. At this time, I was really grateful for this valuable video. I hope that Corona 19 will disappear as soon as possible, and at the same time, I hope that your channel will gradually develop and become a very large channel. love so much this video. like the video is the best. As we develop day by day,Always follow your luck.I sincerely hope that your channel will be very big.

[@bowleowle]

Direct comparison Pre-T vs 1-year timestamps: Pre-T: 2:21 1-year: 7:37

[@sourlemons4]

i love your voice so much. cant wait to start T. Ive been watching these singing timeline videos because im not sure how it will affect my singing but you sound amazing so thank you for that. subscribed :)

[@shpunkpunk]

Thank you for the video! Helped me a lot to see you still hitting those nice runs a year later 🤙

[@sjbass26]

i’m a trans guy here and one of my favorite things is singing so i was worried about losing my voice after T so thank you for this video ❤

[@zachrubinic9525]

I can still sing my range has just changed and while it’s not necessarily harder to control my voice, it’s a different approach, so it’s still taking some getting used to. This might resemble the “horror” stories people have told… maybe people just didn’t understand what’s going on

[@reymazing731]

Your voice is literally so smooth and nice to listen to-- I'm obsessedd

[@Kronos_tiago]

Dude! you do can sing! great video !!!

[@mrressetti]

im having major doubts about going on t when im able to, because i want to be a singer and i was scared itd ruin my voice. but ur voice is still amazing lmaoo, its rlly inspiring, thanks :)

[@omnimonium]

seeing all the comments, i’m so glad i’m not alone. i love singing, but the fact i can’t sing a lot of lower songs is so dysphoria-fueling. i had to sing never there by cake an octave up for a band i was in about a year ago, and despite it being one of my favorite songs, i hated every second of it. i am so proud that i can reach the low notes now, i bottom out at an E3 usually but i can go down to a C3 if my voice is working. i just wish i could start T. my mom is all for it, but i think my dad disguises his disapproval and fear of losing his little girl with the fact that i’m too young or it could just be part of me discovering myself. i hate that argument so much, though. just because i only came out to him around a year ago doesn’t mean i haven’t felt this way for way longer. i have several friends who are on T, some of whom were multiple years younger than me when they started. i’m sorry for the long rant, i just wish so badly i could take the steps to get on T.

[@whalium889]

Hope things are well now!!

[@Demontime2k22]

I almost thought I lost my voice until I saw this 😩😩 you just kept singing right and exercising your voice ??

[@ajjacobs3327]

I started T today and I’m excited to hear my voice change over time.

[@archivbox1]

Your voice is soooooo amazing (every single version of it! ) 😍😍😍

[@ZukoTheFireLord1]

To me it’s so incredible how much of a change you can already notice after just 1 month! Your voice is amazing no doubt and I’m always ao happy to see people going for their dreams especially because I stopped right before it and I’m still not sure wether I regret it or not! So proud of everyone who follows their hearts ❤️

[@beansystem]

This gave me so much euphoria TYSM! I've known I'm trans + been out for years, and I'm certain that top surgery is in my near future, but I've had some mixed feelings about starting T. One of the things I was nervous about was losing my singing voice. I already have a nice low range, and the lower I train my voice, the more euphoric I feel... I'm starting to think I'm ready to start T. Thanks so much for sharing this.

[@Kamilp03]

Wow such a amazing voice 😍♥️🔥🔥🔥

[@oliverfonseca8334]

I love singing but I'm scared to start T because of all the voice cracks and changes and stuff.

[@duck7496]

Daaaaaang your voice is getting lower Can't wait to see you again soon lil' bro We gotta duet lol Soundin dreamy af

[@Lost_in_my_basement]

I think your voice actually sounds better and your singing too

[@BlackstarAndTheTimekeepers]

I’m so terrified of going on t cuz it might ruin my voice, and I’m a musician but this gives me hope

[@sainthills]

you have a beautiful voice man 😍

[@lucathesadman]

How are you able to still hit high notes so easily? It’s almost impossible for me now

[@PeterPAN-dy6kb]

the 2 months hits me so hard I wanna start my treatment so bad

[@foopfighter]

this is so sick thank u for compiling this !!

[@Chaoticgoodbard]

This is the best singing transition video I've seen! Sounds so clean all the way through, really amazing. Thanks for making this!

[@ItwasntI]

BEAUTIFUL!

[@annspirit24]

With teso your voice is clearer and more softly I think 😊

[@philip2774]

I came looking for evidence of a secret conspiracy of popular yet hidden costrados in modern times. Your voice was and is fantastic. It also bolsters the conspiracy.

[@blueberrymuffin7207]

duuuuude you are so talented. Your tone is so smooth and beautiful and that falsetto is souper clean and killer. AMAZING SINGING! Also nice transition, must feel so good :)

[@monkeybeatz4185]

OH MY GHAAD I JUST REALISED YOUR A FILIPINO now I confidence to tell my parentss

[@coryguyon3924]

Boy, your voice is amazing 😍

[@alexanderbatura879]

WHAT A VOICE CONTROL. EVEN ON TESTOSTERONE😍

[@wasureru]

wow this is amazing !! your voice sounds so good bro 😍

[@toby2438]

the 8 month clip oh my godd

[@zzero0orezz]

damn u look so gr8 man, also ur singing are so goddamn soothing 🥺

[@zj.mp4]

honestly I've just started posting music stuff and it kinda sucks because i can usually pass but my voice is an obvious giveaway singing or not. I'm just hoping it's overlooked lol.

[@anarchocthulu]

Trans guy pre-T (will be getting on T soon), I am an aspiring musician but I hate hearing my voice for dysphoria reasons. I was hoping going on T would help me sing more comfortably.

[@ThreeStarsandaSon]

Eargasssssm. New Subscriber here. Hi. I was still a baby when you were here in PH. I'm Tiff, Toto Dio's daughter.

[@kishuan7355]

Hey Tiff! I still remember you :) Thanks for your subscription

[@bunny0booooo111]

Your voice is so beautiful in the first place but month one would put me to sleep and I need that

[@happoiuy]

Thank you so so much for making this video, I've been considering starting T and very worried about how it will change my signing voice. This video is so joyful and it definitely calmed my fears!

[@rozieboss154]

Don't ever stop singing!

[@ineffablemars]

him: "I'm not a good singer" him: *proceeds to sing like an angel*

[@aldranzam3456]

I think I may be a little bit in love

[@jordanm8732]

"I'm not a great singer" YOUR VOICE IS BEAUTIFUL

[@user-nx5qd4lw2h]

You sound very good and look very good

[@Rivaiye]

I could listen to you the whole day 🥺❤️

[@vophie]

What a beautiful idea, your voice is wonderful throughout and it's especially wonderful to hear it develop. How would you say your range changed - do you think you're a tenor now? I feel like there's deeper bass notes coming through too

[@Jacob_Lovelace]

Does anybody have tips on how to adjust to the change? I am really upset about how out of control I feel over my voice. I really love to sing and I don't want to lose that

[@jo.k.4210]

woowww your voice is magic holy sacred shtt

[@chickenkookko4735]

Wonderful voice ❤

[@apotalogialxf905]

Hi ! Thank you for making this video ^^ I have been hesitant about going on T because I love my singing voice and I'm so afraid to lose my singing abilities idk why, like not singing in tune anymore

[@monkeybeatz4185]

I hope my parents agrees to my decision on taking testosterone😭😭

[@aiden_zae]

100% me now, cant wait to start T, i wanna be a singer, but i stopped singing in public cuz of my disphoria. can i know, will taking T actually change your singing voice like u know what i mean,

[@julianskull]

Wow 😍 Your voice is incredible! I just started t a few days ago.

[@Ballsareitchy]

😐 bruh wtf why are you so talented and beautiful like give me your looks 😭

[@Kamilp03]

I've been desiring to get on t but with my living situation I can't . My voice dysphoria is so bad that at one point I quit singing I'm trying to stay strong till I start t

[@songdaniels9960]

Song names? :0 also omg i love your voice!!! I sing too and i play instruments- except as a trans girl im kind of going for the opposite its a bit different :0

[@tiredloco]

you give me so much hope

[@kravenaaa1986]

You have a good taste of music. May I know the title of these songs, dude? Thank you.

[@annspirit24]

Your both voices are amazing 😊🎉

[@user-go7ns8qz2e]

제발 노래 영상을 더 올려주십쇼!!! 너무 좋은 노래

[@anabeara6953]

Bravo !! So proud of u!!!!!!

[@vophie]

Love your haircut