FtM Confessions

These are my confessions ~ What do you guys think? Am I ridiculous? Lol what are your confessios?
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[@griffinvongabriel9369]

I get dysphoric when guys that are younger than me, are farther along in their transition than me.

[@none4530]

AndyGriff so true! I know a guy who's 14 and he's already been on T for almost 2 years and he's already gotten top surgery. It makes me so upset, even though I'm happy for him.

[@griffinvongabriel9369]

Alex Creed Yeah I'm 20. I've been on T for 2 years and 4 months. Im trying to get top surgery right now. I've had a hysto, but that was for health reasons. My t dose was very low, because my drs were ass holes. So I'm just now having major changes. I'm sooooo happy for other guys when their faces light up, but I still want it to be my turn you know.

[@mississippitransman8617]

It makes me feel so upset when they have supportive parents that help them finance their surgeries and stuff. There's a documentary on ESPN where the young teen has very supportive parents and I get the feeling that people think we just pull money out of our asses like Caitlyn Jenner or other really lucky, privileged people. I have people that ask me when I plan on get

[@griffinvongabriel9369]

Mississippi Transman Yeah I'm so broke its not even funny. Im fighting for insurance to cover mine.

[@SirChubbyBunny]

Man, I'm like that too--especially when they have a huge support network or their families accepted them from the jump. I've seen guys who had hormones and surgery all before they turned 18 and it was always both astonishing and depressing for me. Granted for being almost 23 and I've been on T for two years (as of this coming February), it still kills me sometimes.

[@crazyjosey1]

sometimes I'm convinced I'm faking being trans even though I'm not

[@ellenamorton8728]

i thought I was the only one, wow

[@fr3undx]

bucky same 😞

[@zachs.3726]

bucky I sometimes think that too. My parents still don't believe me after a year and a half. It's gonna last longer I suppose. Like they tell me "you're not sure" and "you're too young to decide that", like the engraining of the doubt. I didn't "decide" it either. Like I told my friend that I felt "not trans enough" like how you said it (convinced I'm faking it even though I know I'm trans) and my friend thinks I'm trying to fake it and act like a victim. she isn't trans and it sucks when people don't understand it, but it happens. Like I would get anxious whenever I thought that cuz I didn't know when I was 5 years old, when I reality I found out lots of others knew later on even if they had no "trans signs" growing up.

[@angy8yury]

bucky omg!!! I'm like you. Maybe because I'm not that masculine I feel that I look like I'm pretending to be man/ly but it is me. (bad english, sorry).

[@Nico-Callahan]

same

[@kmac6118]

I do the second hand dysphoria thing all the time 😳

[@oliverlikescats4736]

Carameltorchthem me too. I think it's related to empathy; we're picking up on what we perceive other people feel

[@blackmagicwomanrj2857]

Hey there!! I'm from India. I love your videos. I'm a straight, cis girl. Here in India a lot of people are still trans-phobic. And the subject is often considered taboo. So trans people (or gay people) often receive little or no support from their families. Your videos have helped me understand their problems and the difficulties u guys face. Thanks :) Also I find very attractive and I like your honesty :)

[@Suminomenal]

I get that second hand dysphoria, but I also have that the other way around. Like when someone who is for example not as long on T as I am and passes so much more or looks more muscular I get really uncomfortable and feel like I'm not nearly doing enough about my own body.

[@bazils5067]

Same

[@cadenwilliams5108]

Someone told me I pass better than them who is already on T (and I'm not) and I have to explain to them that they're gonna slowly get better

[@freemix16]

Confession: I get really jealous of the super popular, skinny, small chested trans guys that I see on social media and I hate that about myself, but it's so frustrating seeing that the most popular trans guys do have that body type and knowing that I'll probably always be heavier because of the medications I'm on can just be really disheartening. And I thought that it would start to go away after I had top surgery, but it's almost worse now because seeing those other guys that have small chests and can probably have peri instead of double incision and no one will ever know that they're trans when they take their shirt off after top surgery, vs. me who will always have these huge scars to remind me that I was born in the wrong body and I'll never look like a cis man which is all I've ever wanted since I was a little kid. So, I know how you feel, Ty, I feel like an asshole for feeling this way, too.

[@loganberry2446]

ftEmmett I feel this way too

[@freemix16]

denea mendez thank you :) so glad to hear I'm not alone

[@torrinashley6076]

I would have had a big chest even if I was in shape (I'm a little overweight). It's because of my genetics. But since I got top surgery, things have gotten better. That being said, it wasn't possible for me to get peri anyway

[@JeffAMiller17]

Every single time you said "Those are my confessions" my head automatically started singing Usher's 'Confessions.' Also, you're definitely not alone in those thoughts.

[@kathyprizzleskizzle356]

Lmao..glad I'm not the only one that kept thinking of Usher and that old ass song. Brought me back to high school

[@GeorginaGoreXl]

I have not spoken face-to-face with another trans individual ever, it makes me sad. #TransConfessions.

[@v-dawg39]

Gee Perez maybe u have u never know

[@GeorginaGoreXl]

exactly i never knew. Trans people of course are just regular people but being a fellow trans individual it is nice to connect with someone that may be dealing with similar issues. and that is what i mean by never have i ever been face to face with another trans individual. Us discussing issues/realities we face or simply understanding each other were others wouldnt

[@cashmoney865]

Gee Perez omg i just realized same unless you count face time and that was only twice because i was around another friend

[@GraceMallory-is-awesome]

Hope you found a trans friend to talk to in real life now

[@mattburgess3307]

Shitty FTM confession: my friend is getting his top surgery way before me. He's got a small chest, I've got a large one, he could get away without a binder, I can't, I have severe asthma, he doesn't, my dysphoria is more prominent. Much as I'm happy for him, I can't help but be really jealous and sometimes I'll catch myself thinking "but he doesn't *need* it as much" and then I feel shitty as hell because of course he does, there's no such thing as needing it more than someone else except to pass. I am happy for him though, really I am.

[@TheMissNynke]

Tbh I don't think the first thing sounds shitty. You're just confronted with the fact that you're trans again, it makes sense that that gives you dysphoria. It's not an insult or something. It does not sound shitty at all to me, really.

[@TheMissNynke]

If you feel uncomfortable when someone jokes about you being trans or something, please, please just tell us. Some of us cis folks might not be aware of what we say, and me personally, I would never want to make someone uncomfortable about that. If you feel uncomfortable, please just be honest about it. Think of it this way: if you don't tell us, you don't really give us the chance to improve that and we'd do it again in a second, because we don't know how it makes you feel. If you tell us how you feel about that, we can actually change that and consider your feelings. For me personally knowing how to make someone feel better also makes me feel better.

[@alessandracostantino2266]

TheMissNynke

[@jayden230]

My confession is when I hear cis guys with higher voices than me (I'm pre-T) or are shorter than me I secretly think "thank god I'm not him"

[@urboisammy2323]

Tbh, me too that hurts

[@stormageddon101]

Don't worry about fitting in more with cis guys than trans guys. You're a guy. You're not trying to be a transguy, it's just part of who you are. Being FtM is pretty much all about feeling like you're meant to be a guy. Everyone can have their preferred type of person to hang out with in relation to masculinity and femininity

[@themainflamingo134]

Do you ever get really scared that one day you'll regret everything? I have been out as transgender for many years and I'm well into transitioning, but there's always this silly worry. Especially because so many of the changes on T are irreversible.

[@torrinashley6076]

I wouldn't say so many. I'd say a few. Probably three or four things are permanent

[@santos2998]

I get scared that I'll come out to everyone and socially transition just to suddenly not be trans

[@wewantyourblo0d]

You're definitely not alone with the secondhand dysphoria thing, unless we're both just really bad people lmao

[@benjaaa626]

Jay Todd make that three bad people, haha

[@oceanfarmer420]

oops four

[@MonsterHigh11Demi]

five (damn it!)

[@scottieboyd2660]

It's just your personality! You don't need to put on a mask to be masc!

[@haizekhaze8868]

bout time we had more trans guys actually say this real stuff----

[@RosalyMysenCullen]

im happy that you admit these feelings, that just proves how toughtful and smart you are. youre a good guy.

[@evhtp]

sir, you are so incredibly cute and handsome ; - ;

[@TyTurner]

[@paulamra1ify]

I know! Dreamy.

[@amberlyn7315]

You ARE a pretty masculine dude, the only traditionally “feminine” trait I think you possess is the tendency to smile frequently. Women naturally smile more than men, especially while speaking because science… but you’re a real smiley guy Ty. (Luckily this is a cute trait for men to have).

[@torrinashley6076]

The fact that smiling is considered feminine is beyond stupid

[@jennibaebae8829]

Your video hit home for me. It was like watching my own confession. Although we're on different sides of the trans spectrum (you being a man and I a woman), I totally related to your thoughts and feelings. It's nice to know someone else shares my thought processes. I'll think of this video anytime I feel like I'm being a shady bi**h for thinking a certain way about other trans people or when I realize I'm allowing myself to be diminished by a cis person for the purpose of accommodating their feelings, rather than mine. Thanks for sharing Mr. Turner!

[@braydenhurley5144]

This is why I love your videos Ty. You aren't afraid to talk about how you really feel and things that are a little uncomfortable for some people. I feel all these same things but have never really talked to anyone about them before. So thanks!

[@christyalexia]

Confezzion: I'm leaving

[@TyTurner]

no

[@haybby23]

Christy Sanchez Someone call Keemstar

[@ashtonmcmullen6799]

Ty Turner u tell her

[@letstalkkennel]

I'm kinda the same. I get super dysphoric when I see transguys willingly wear stereotypical female things and like "flaunting", you know? I feel like they take it as a joke kinda, while I have to really fight to make myself appear to be a cis guy

[@user-jh3gd7xn9x]

For real...Ty. As a straight woman I've been watching your videos for a few weeks now and am attempting to understand your insecurities. All I can do is give you my thoughts - for whatever they're worth. You do not look FTM. Is that I positive thing to say? It's coming from a place of admiration and respect of your journey. To have overcome so much and to have gotten so far. I understand that although you may still be on that road, still trying to define and figure it out, I have to tell you that what makes you attractive is not only your looks but also your openness and your insight. Besides being an extremely good looking dude conveying your inner thoughts so publicly only adds to the appeal. Everyone has struggles and conflicts of some sort. Do we choose to make them define who we are or do we embrace them and use them to learn and grow? You express your inner self well and I can only hope that other FTM's AND MTF's can share your videos in order to help those that may be struggling. Letting you be your beautiful self, full of admiration, StashDee

[@JoulesPerRadian]

Thank you so much, Ty, for posting this. I think of you as being so confident and "perfect", and I often compare myself to you with unfavorable results. I know I'm not supposed to compare myself to others, but I do. Ha! I guess that's my confession. And then you post something like this, and I realize we're all in this together.

[@YouDoYouAndImmaDoMe]

I actually relate to most of these so much, you're definitely not alone dude. And there really isn't a 'better' way to say most of these things but it's refreshing to see someone who isn't afraid to be honest. And not in an "I'm trying to be a dick way" but just a "this is my honest opinion and here are my raw thoughts" kind of way. I respect it man. Keep doing you.

[@NatalieRoman]

I have not spoken more than five minutes face-to-face with another trans individual in almost two years since moving to Los Angeles #TransConfessions.

[@TyTurner]

transphobic

[@TyTurner]

#NatalieShaming

[@aeonarin]

I'm kind of late to comment on that video, but I have something interesting to say. The second hand dysphoria thing sounds REALLY similar to anorexia. There have been studies showing that while looking at overweight women, anorexic women feel self-conscious rather that judging, and their brains are reacting accordingly, as shown by scans. I guess it makes sense, because both anorexia and gender dysphoria are body-related dysphorias. I'd love to see a study on transgender people.

[@torrinashley6076]

Yes, because we're experiments. Lol.. 🙄

[@Andi1422]

Ty. You are amazing. Keep doing what you're doing!! We all have our insecurities about ourselves & all we can do is try our best. You never need to compare yourself to anyone. You've come along way. Keep moving forward. 💗

[@TheGooftheloc]

dude i feel the same way. most of the trans guys in my meeting are gay or bi and a lot more feminine. so it makes me feel the odd-man out. most of my friends are cis guys I feel like we can relate more. one of the reasons I like your videos is cuz you're more masculine so I can relate a lot more.

[@yulpiewsert1520]

OH MY GOD THE FEELING INCONVENIENT PART IS WHAT IS HOLDING ME BACK FROM COMING OUT

[@dakotazworld]

I can relate to the first one and I think as long as you don't point out shit to that person then I think you're good

[@94acidespresso98]

I think I get where you're going with noticing other trans* individuals and then thinking about yourself. If you've suffered from dissociation or dis-morphia, it's possible to have moments of second-guessing your perspective or questioning the reliability of your narrative. For example, looking to possibly more feminine (than you see yourself) tranguys and then thinking "Is that how I come across to others when, in my head, I see myself as closer cisguys in behaviours/tastes?". The identifying with other transmen and then comparing, is completely normal. It's normal for guys to compare themselves to other guys and women to compare themselves to other women. Though you may still see yourself as higher on the masculine scale than a lot of transmen, comparison to them over cisgendered guys, I would say may be more normal. Does this make any sense?

[@silveromance98]

Im glad that someone else feels these ways haha, one of my confessions which is sorta shitty of me, is i hate it when transguys who wear female clothing and shit like that, get mad when people misgender them all the time. Like i dress as masculine as possible to try and avoid that and i still get missgendered, but dont throw a hissy fit over it?? like if you are going to dress that way expect that people will missgender you, because they dont really understand. It feels a little attention seeking even. Idk i might just be an asshole lmao. Love your videos btw :)

[@marceponce4053]

silveromance98 omg or in groups when someone posts a pic making a duck face with their eyebrows done and asks if they pass

[@icarus.the.strong]

SAMEEEE

[@jesmile234]

ty u don't have to nitpick anything about ur clothes or ur body. u are a very attractive man. honestly

[@VSHTON]

That second confession is really me. I tend to stick up for cis people's feelings instead of sticking up for my own. Cus i hate feeling like I'm an inconvenience. I don't want to make people uncomfortable because of the life that i'm trying to lead.

[@v-dawg39]

casually holds vape in video 😂💀

[@emilyh6709]

I discovered your videos a week or two ago and I think you're awesome 😊 I have learned so much from you. I'm a cis female (if that matters)

[@turtleking7772]

Yes. Me. I have felt and thought all of these things.

[@NAB-xr7fh]

I can relate to all of your confessions, especially 2 and 3. My social anxiety has been my biggest obstacle regarding my transition. I'm always worried about what others think and how my actions will make them feel, so for the longest time I was pretending to be the person that everyone else wanted me to be. I'm gonna be starting T in a few weeks and am nervous about telling everyone, but I've gotta do it. I also felt like an outsider to this community for a long time and it prevented me from reaching out to others. I've got a lot to work on, but I've been making an effort to overcome this. It's good to know that there are other people going having similar experiences.

[@thais16ful]

Hi, my name is Thales, and I feel incredibly the same! 4 months on T by now and starting to notice that. Your video just helped me on it! Congratulations for all you've been working on. Keep going :)

[@samparish398]

I think that everyone does this whether you are trans or not. I know I've compared my body to others to make myself feel better. Sounds hella shitty but I think it's just human nature.

[@greggsimons]

dude I'm literally the same with "catering" to cis people's emotions just like you said, but also like try not to be "super trans" around them like I tone down my femininity a little to make them feel less awkward about being around me but like only to people I knew pre-transition and I hate it. plus people like talk about my genitals in a joking way and I don't like it, yet I don't stop them like wtf gabs???

[@DantheSandman94]

Ty, my dude, im a transguy too and I feel all of these things you were talking about too. Especially "feeling like the odd one out". Like I've been transitioning for almost 4 years and I've still never been to an LGBT support group. Everyone wants me to but I'm just too weird besides being trans too. I'm a metalhead film geek vaping pothead covered in tats who wears nothing but rare movie/music shirts. I'm a weird muddafucka. Btw: when are you making another Zamplebox vid?!? I miss those. Oh and are you going to PTHC in June? I'm gonna try to go. It would be cool to chill and suck mods together

[@ericalexander6383]

I've been out for six years and moved three times... I haven't knowingly met another ftm and I'm actually scared to meet one. There is so much judgment and division in the trans community I feel like if I met another trans guy I wouldn't talk to them because I'm scared they're going to tear me down the moment we don't agree on something.

[@KanameYuki]

I understand the struggle between masculine/feminine image when it comes to my gender. Like you, I've become more comfortable with expressing the more masculine aspects of my personality as my appearance changes, etc., but I also know I have feminine parts that are fluid with the masculine parts and can be more pronounced at some times than others. Self-love and acceptance has helped a lot during these times.

[@alyssanance1649]

I definitely relate when you mentioned being Pre-T and finally being able to let out your true masculinity. I'm currently Pre-T and I am dealing with, if not the same, mind fuckery. I use this stupid "feminine customer service" voice (I blame working in retail and the customer service industry) when ordering food or just talking with a coworker. Afterwards I talk down on myself about it. I feel once I start my HRT hopefully I'll find my masculine voice. In my city, I feel the Trans community is more in touch with their feminine side which is cool, do you but I would love a guy best friend that enjoys fishing/masculine things. Also I live in Dallas TX!

[@senpai16]

thank you very much for posting this cuz i feel the same on all 3. it felt good knowing im not the only one having these wierd sorta messed thoughts or feels.

[@chased7358]

I relate so much to all of this! I know it sounds bad, but I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like this. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in my thinking. (while of course I wish no one had to feel this way at all)

[@Katistic1]

I think what you're feeling pretty much summaries anxiety. I know because I do it all the time. Being hard on yourself, putting others comfort first, comparing yourself etc.

[@DanieVargas]

Aw Ty... don't be so hard on yourself. I compare myself against other people I see... back in 2003 I started losing weight (my dad had passed away and I suck at sharing my feelings, so I ate them! I finally woke up and realized I was 255 lb and in 5'3). Finally got to my goal weight 10 yrs later, but to this day, I still look in the mirror and see 255 lbs!! So I can understand you comparing yourself to others... and my confession... I don't say anything to these people, but when I see another OBESE woman, I think THE WORST THINGS about them!! Like "Why are you walking into Dairy Queen?! Why not buy a bottle of water and GO FOR A WALK!!" or "Put those Twinkees BACK on the shelf and grab some oranges!!" I'm a horrible person, I know...

[@MonsterHigh11Demi]

"Vargas", do you speak Spanish? I would love to talk to someone who does (I do!).

[@shellsbellswac1]

As a CIS woman, I can certainly understand feeling bad about judging my own body to other women's bodies. I do the same thing because I am very self-conscious about my body. I hate that I compare myself to others but it's an opportunity for my own growth, I guess! Love your channel, Ty!

[@MsAnzoe]

Takes courage to make that video. really open and vulnerable, respect!

[@siirlez]

All of this. Yes. You are not alone in your thoughts. At all. Wow. I've been trying to put to words.

[@roygbp23]

I have the opposite feelings. when I see a trans guy who looks so cisgendered like you. it makes me self conscious of how my transition is going. all I can think is I want that and its small things to others.

[@Niya1994]

Dude thank you. You totally helped me. I completely know what you mean and I do go through that as well. You're totally not judge mental, I know what you're saying. I'm not even going to attempt to explain it because it's legit almost impossible unless someone else is going through it

[@gryffinschile1033]

Literally confession you talked about are things that I deal with all the time. I have trans friends, but none that I can really relate with. I'm the only trans guy in my group of friends that doesn't bind (which I get shit for all the time) and I'm the most masculine. The video you and Chase made about ftms who don't bind actually helped me feel a lot better about my situation, so I have to say thank you for that.

[@samstyles5789]

I completely relate to all of these confessions. I always feel shitty for thinking these things. At least I'm not the only one. :)

[@JL-qn6tl]

Dude. I do/feel the same way. Literally everything you said I can relate lol

[@terrylewish]

Ty I'm FTM and you have help me a lot. So just think of that when your feel insincere because you do help people

[@mr.ktsmoove]

I hear you man, thats self projection. I've done it too

[@Jadlcg3]

Yes.... you are definitely not alone. I am kinda glad im not alone in how you feel with this.

[@wesleycarson9917]

yeah! happened to me for the first time last week at work...in food service...helps to hear other people get it too

[@rayf6301]

True. I don't fit in w the community either, I'm extremely masculine and it's weird to see other trans guys being so open

[@ruinreid1554]

Brother. I agree and can relate with you on many and most things you have said. Thank you for posting.

[@lucianlambiase297]

Ty, thank you for your honesty! refreshing and surprising, you said so much of what I also feel and I'm always wondering dude am I the only one feeling this not fitting in fitting in thing. I feel badly that I critique or compare other trans guys and I also get self conscious about how I'm not a rainbow I'm just authentically that dude that curses burps and thinks about sex alot lol not that that is what being a guy is about but the trans guys i hang with are on the more feminine scope so I feel out of place. just being you is how it should be but you can't help how you feel while experiencing it right, love and support is important and I have that greatly so am greatful and glad you have it too because I know the dysphoria would just be worse, no bueno

[@veraglauben]

Hey Ty! About the first issue: I am a cis-girl, but I remember those feelings from my teen years: 'Do I look like her? Hope not. Oh my, I'm so mean', and it's a constant conversation in your head. And it's a usual thing when you grow up, comparing yourself to others, as well as self-consciousness. When your body changes, you know how it looks like, but always doubt if you see it right. I'm talking about teenage problems, because I heard from one trans person, that transition is a second puberty. So, probably, there could be some psychological issues of puberty, like self-doubts?

[@dannyv.8004]

I relate to the last two confessions. Everyone thinks my masculinity is a front or a way of me trying to over dominate the setting, but I don't even try to be this way, it's just who I am. #outsider

[@aaronpierce4443]

I experience that "second hand" dysphoria too...it's projection; you see the things you're insecure about yourself in someone else and I think: If I were in that other person's body, I'd be very unhappy.

[@landerlaurits]

i love that he said 'i gotta do my thumbnail' and we got the footage of him awkwardly posing, while the thumbnail is none of those poses he did

[@shawnladd5440]

Yah. We all want unconditional acceptance. And we all judge people.

[@privatepinstripe]

1 - Yes, although it makes me anxious more than anything less. 2 - Yes. 3 - Absolutely and is even what stops me making YT videos. 😊

[@thetransboy9437]

I relate to the 3rd one so much I always feel excluded or different when I'm with anyone.

[@bazils5067]

I feel you on all of these. I always have this thing were I get along with cis guys more because it feels like a more genuine friendship. Sometimes with other trans people it feels like either we are only friends because of the fact we are trans or our conversations are always about trans related topics and we may not have anything else in common. But I still love being friends with other trans people but I'm generally not as close with them.

[@moochachaa]

I'm ftm I've been on T for over 6 years I pass 100% and I dress however I want, I don't care about masculinity, if I like that shirt and it's a bit "girly looking" I will wear it I really don't care what anyone says. These are very horrible "confessions"

[@TyTurner]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@bblcommisions]

looks like we've got a triggered over here

[@dianagomez2942]

It's just how he feels. It doesn't matter if you consider it "Horrible confessions" that's how he feels. We can't change that. Ty thank you for sharing your confessions with us.

[@rivraptor]

I actually relate to 100% of what you said, you're certainly not alone!

[@jibhudson4783]

Ty you are my idol and we talked awhile back and I recently finally started T, thank you for motivating me in life!

[@SRWill64]

I have been on T for 4 months and I am still getting the 'ma'am' comment even though I have facial hair and a man's haircut. I have been told by one person, who I want to strangle, that I will NEVER be seen as a man because I have high cheekbones, full lips, and a narrow chin. Now I don't know if that's true but it reaaaaly bothers me and I want to lash out...but I don't and I don't know how to handle this. It just affirms to me that i will never look like a man every time I hear 'ma'am". Am I just being too impatient? I feel like I'm stuck in this 'ugly duckling' stage...

[@clarityburns1296]

I feel you with the masculinity. It's what I would expect to encounter in the community, and it makes me second guess. It confirms that transitioning wouldn't necessarily make a person fit in to an "alternate" community, or that they finally found their people. It would just lubricate everyday encounters in the cis community. Yeah man. It would probably be pushing it to say, "Well, that's a real trans person," but I do feel like that sometimes. Sometimes the need to create a safe space is too much- too much work, not too much excess, too...um...sensitive? Idk. Keep on keepin' on, bro.

[@ryptoll4801]

I'm totally onboard with your third confession, that about not feeling like you fit in with the trans community. I feel that too, but perhaps for other reasons that are a bit difficult for me to explain. One reason though, similar to what you said, is that I kinda feel pressured to be more feminine in certain ways than I'd not be comfortable with, and also to identify with being trans which I don't. I'm not the most manly man either, cause I have like long hair and nail polish, sit with my legs crossed and what not, but like I could never feel comfortable wearing pink or even just something with a flower pattern on. I don't know. I definitely have a fragile masculinity, which I'm not proud of but I won't deny it. Also I've always felt like the fact that I'm goth and persisted on keeping up a goth look since the beginning of my transition and before, other trans guys have often given me rude looks and comments on my style. Early during my transition I was told I wasn't "trying hard enough" to pass and nowadays I get told that I'm "trying too hard" and it's annoying. Also, I do feel estranged from the trans community these days because I don't share the same political views as the majority seems to. Like you though, I too can more easily relate to cis guys than other trans guys. I too see the irony in that, and to me that does suck, as it gives me the feeling that "where do I belong then?" but yeah. I can pretend I belong with the cis guys then, maaaybe. Although, I've never seen myself as representing the trans community though, but I have thought of maybe moving in that direction, or something. Because I don't fit the stereotype, I might have something extra to add, or whatever.

[@Mcarsonisdumb]

I literally feel the exact. same. way. on all these topics. I completely get you. Just recently I decided to come out to a few coworkers who I deemed safe (Been out at home and with friends for 5 years). I plan on transitioning next year, which is why I told them now as opposed to months and months ago. And why did I wait? Because I thought it would be inconvenient for THEM to know I was trans while no one else at work did. To have to still actively refer to me by female pronouns despite knowing it was wrong. I mean shit like, how stupid is that? hahaha... It's hard to put yourself first when you live your whole life hidden in your shell. Feels amazing placing priority on my own needs before the "convenience" of others!

[@zacharyboyd904]

I completely understand where you're coming from with the second hand dysphoria. I deal with that as well on occasion.

[@rhodaleader6824]

Ty, That's called "Human Nature" everyone looks at another person and compares their appearance to that person's. They have bigger boobs, longer legs, smaller waist, bigger arms, deeper voice etc. We as the Human Race come in so many different shapes and sizes and we should embrace who we are as an individual and sod what others perceive us to be. 🌟

[@noahjennings49]

This makes me feel so much better about the stuff I do omg!

[@CjLutt]

My confession is that I literally can't make it click in my head why anyone would transition from Male to Female. I'm not like an ass hole when I see people who are mtf I just can't connect. It makes no sense since I wanna transition and shit and they do too. We going through the same shit but I just can't connect. Makes me hate myself a lil more when it pops ups. :/

[@aschspectre]

I respect how honest you are with some of these points despite the possibility of them "sounding shitty", and as a trans guy who is mid physical transition, who still chooses to embrace my femininity and pursues makeup artistry, I've noticed many similarities in our respective trans experiences- however when i stop relating to you is when you show signs of hyper masculinity and overcompensation. I'm referencing your first confession in this video here, and allow me to suggest perhaps that your discomfort with more effeminate trans guys is entirely your own insecurity (you seem to be aware of that completely already). Becoming more comfortable as yourself is the only way to stop uncontrollable internal judgement of that kind, and I'm not by any means saying that you should embrace more feminine aspects of yourself if that's not your thing, but I think its important to recognize that you're clearly personally insecure with your own femininity still, DESPITE being confident that you're definitely a man. If you were completely comfortable with YOURSELF, other people wouldn't disturb you in this way, so maybe growing more in tune with the part of you that you're insecure of when you encounter """""less passing""" trans men will alleviate the unintentional shitty judgement your esteem forces you to feel.

[@blahblahblahlogan7061]

Sometimes I think about doing my own top surgery.

[@zacharybernal4388]

I get that with people's voices, like, I don't understand how someone is comfortable when they don't even seem to make their voice deeper(pre-t)

[@rorypag106]

Thank you so much for this video cause I'm constantly being told that I'm an ass for not wanting to be apart of the trans community and I'm told that I just don't want to be true to myself. I also point other other trans guys that arnt farther along. I always connected with you 100% from the start and that's why I love watching your videos.

[@Nikoledelvalle]

You are not alone , im like that too

[@actualdavyjones4417]

I feel the 2nd hand dysphoria sometimes. Or even with my own personal dysphoria when I see muscle-y trans manly men. I absolutely feel ya man.

[@graceshrines]

You look a little like a young Edward Norton

[@reachedd]

Hey ty! I just started taking t 2 weeks ago and am going to start doing it to myself at home soon. Where do you throw away your needles? And thank you for your videos. You really helped me with my transition.

[@shanettrain]

Put them in a sharps container, and when it's filled you can bring it to a pharmacy and they'll dispose of it :)

[@zacharyboyd904]

Edd Andrew You can use an empty milk container to put them in. That's what I do. I just keep it on top of the fridge for a few weeks and fill it up before throwing it away. That's what my doctor told me I could do. You just have to write "Sharps" on the outside of the container.

[@SirChubbyBunny]

I second what Zachary said, especially if you don't have the time to go to your pharmacy to dispose of your needles. An empty milk or plastic juice jug should be fine, just be sure to label it "sharps" and tape it closed for safe measure.

[@reachedd]

Thank you guys for the help. :)

[@samtucker5514]

Make sure to check with your local laws. Some cities allow alternate containers (like milk jugs or laundry detergent bottles) and some do not and require you to get a sharps container. Legit sharps containers are cheap and easy to obtain, so I'd get the real thing if you can. :)

[@DruMoney]

His thumbnail wasn't even any of the poses he did at the end lmao 😂

[@wassupitsyaboi3680]

My FtM confession: I'm not on T and so when people that came out after me get all the things they need to transition (including a supportive family, rip me) I get really jealous. Which sucks. Because I have a lot of trans friends and I don't wanna feel like that but man it hurts

[@frostmartin1304]

omg the second hand dysphoria is something I get too and it always makes me feel like shit. and like a terrible person. I'm glad I'm not the only one struggling with that

[@maxtaylor2395]

I totally feel everything you said in this video!! I feel like an inconvenience all the time. And the dysphoria thing you feel with trans guys I feel with cis women. I'm hella dysphoric about my chest because I'm pre-op and not on T and women will start talking about their chest and I have to leave the room because I get so uncomfortable.

[@hugawolf5074]

I feel you on so many levels here!

[@lenardbruce7813]

Nah man I can legit relate to all these things it's crazy how much I do . Finally things in my mind voiced by someone else .

[@connoreccleston9702]

both me and my friend are ftm and pre-t and I'm always lowering my voice so I pass better, but he never tries to lower his voice and his voice is SUPER high pitched and squeaky and it gives me such bad second-hand dysphoria like dude what are you doing

[@connoreccleston9702]

I also feel you with the masculinity thing, I feel that I connect more with cis guys than other trans guys. I feel a little alienated too because I'm on the more masculine side