I Had To Use The Women's Bathroom - FtM Trans Man

[@HotDogTimeMachine385]

The future conservatives want. 😑

[@thoraneh7365]

The future they want is none us LGBT+ peeps in it at all sadly ☹️

[@corvus2327]

the future I want has no Conservatives in it but total equality.

[@aaronjames5588]

Because they’re idiots

[@ZZZ90_]

​​​@@rhymerlegend2717why are you on every transgender conversation And post I come upon on? Are you okay mentally that you always need to prove that you are right about others gender? It concerns me on how much you care to come on any transgender topic you can just to get that attention and Sastify that need to be "right". I don't think anyone with a "I'm right you're wrong" mentality isn't that okay. Why waste your time over 100 hundred people who won't see your message anyway?

[@TheoRae8289]

​@rhymerlegend2717 why are you staring at people?

[@bevishhh]

It’s honestly *such* a fluffing joke. “a man might come in and pretend to be a trans woman and assault us!” oh okay so now by that ridiculous “logic” and these bans they don’t even have to pretend, they can just walk in, and say they’re trans. No dress and heels outfit required. Honestly the stupidest crap I’ve ever heard. LET PEOPLE PISS. If someone is gonna go be a creep in a public bathroom they just are, regardless.

[@WhichDoctor1]

yeah they literally rely on the fact trans men will get arrested for using the women's. Because if these laws were enforced as they are written, it would become common for men with big beards, hairy arms and guy clothes to be using the womens, which would make it trivially easy for cis men to do the same. it's only that they know the real outcome will be trans people not using any public toilet that makes this make sense

[@AnAlienHiddenInPlainSight]

Damn I didn’t even realise that they don’t have to even pretend now. Proves how stupid transphobes are

[@roxyamused]

Hair grown out, laser hair removal, shaved legs, years of hrt for bajangin titties and ass, I want an orchiectomy... What? all so I can infiltrate the women's toilet? Like, I wanna basically be a eunuch by cishet standards. The "protecting the sanctity of single sex spaces" logic just isn't there as you've described, that's because it's not about protection. It's cruelty as the point to make life in public harder for us, to make us not come out in public. This is part of the heritage fund terrorist plot to mark us for easy identification and targeting. The age restrictions and drag bans provide that to some degree. This bathroom shit is the legislative terrorism to add fear of being ourselves in public or anywhere for fear of getting arrested or accosted.

[@no0n34ta1l]

Yeah, cis guys can just lie and say they're trans men to get into womens restrooms, these laws only make things worse and weren't given an iota of a thought other than "how can we hurt trans people more." They give "white's only" restroom/water fountain vibes

[@Iquey]

​@@nicdegrave3313definitely not logic.

[@t3tsuyaguy1]

I don't like being reductive, but it's hard for me to _not_ think, that anyone who supports forcing transmen to use the lady's restroom has never seen a transman.

[@auggiet8380]

“wE cAn AlWaYs TeLl” no tf you can’t, Cheryl and Kyle, no tf you C A N N OT.

[@ScizzoringGirlz]

@notville_ Shucho hole

[@SoulAir]

Yep The comment system now dDays is BASURA TRASH

[@tjenadonn6158]

​​@notville_0%. The percentage of your parents who don't wish they got an abortion is 0%. Planned Parenthood: providing HRT and solving the conservative infestation.

[@dullheadedfreak]

@notville_ cool pfp man i can tell youre definitely normal and not obsessed with people who dont know you

[@BunniBeshara]

The whole bathroom thing is wild to me. My 13 yo son is severely disabled. He cannot go into a men’s room alone and I cannot leave him alone outside to use the bathroom in public. We usually don’t get looks but every once in a while some Karen looks scandalized despite his obvious signs that he does not care that there are women in there.

[@tjenadonn6158]

​@notville_And here we see Conservative Compassion in action everyone, making a self-deletion joke about a disabled child. "Think of the children" the conservatives say. We humans really wish you things would think about our children as little as possible.

[@stonks3507]

@@tjenadonn6158I’m sure they’re a bot, or something. It’s fucked.

[@ReineDeLaSeine14]

It’s even more terrifying when it’s a father and daughter

[@vaderladyl]

Nobody batted an eye before when a mom had to escort her boy into the ladies bathroom. People love to make life more complicated now.

[@vaderladyl]

@notville_ I better not catch you abusing animals, so help me God.

[@Cup_of_tea424]

can we please just.... please... make more gender neutral bathrooms... they are more private... they are cleaner...safer... and GENDER NEUTRAL. like srsly dude this is heartbreaking... I wish that trans people didn't have to freak out over what bathroom to use.

[@l-_Val_-I]

Petition to make all bathrooms gender neutral

[@HezrouDhiaga]

this this this

[@echoawoo7195]

@@l-_Val_-I frankly all single occupancy should be gender neutral.

[@coopigeon619]

I couldn't agree more with this!!! 🤘💯💯💯

[@Junosensei]

A few high-profile attempts to make public bathrooms (the kinds with a shared common area with private stalls) have quickly ended in assaults involving cis people already (one in a mall next to a queer area of Shinjuku, Japan, where I've been). Before now, the few public area, private stall gender neutral bathrooms have also been known as red flags for women, seeing an increase in assaults and sexual harrassment compared to separated bathrooms, too. So I'm not sure about my stance on those specific types of public bathrooms, especially as a trans woman who has already been harrassed in the women's bathroom in a bookstore by a _women._ I can't imagine sharing _any_ public bathroom space with cis men... I am absolutely for gender-neutral individual bathrooms, though. That sounds more than just practical. It sounds like the only public bathroom I feel genuinely safe to go to the bathroom in! I know that's not practical for some places, though. I just don't know what another good solution is...

[@kouda_ha]

My mother is a cis woman, and she was 181cm/5 foot 11" tall by the age of 14 (and thankfully stopped growing there lol)! Anyhow, even she's been getting "Transvestigated" when going into public bathrooms, like bitch, she's French and all of that side of the family are lanky, look like they're practically a family of Siren heads lol. Her father and uncles were all like 6 ft 4", even 7 foot plus heights lol. It's very depressing though, they expect humans to fit into very small stereotypical boxes and it's like they think anything out of the ordinary needs to be culled or something... She's said "excuse me" to a man at the bar, so she could go into the bathroom, and he whispered to his friend, laughed, moved out of the way and then loudly went "If IT even IS a woman!", which everybody obviously heard and started laughing too. These idiots aren't protecting anybody with these laws and they're putting more people at risk for reasons they don't even realise. Transmen need to break the law and continue using the mens or they'll get absolutely murdered, and anybody that isn't a fragile little dainty lass is at risk of having guys wanting "proof" they are "feeeeemalesssss" when all they want to do is have a wee.

[@Juneberryknight]

I feel so bad for ur mum All the love goes out to u and ur family

[@neff6185]

bathroom bills hurt everyone :(

[@saschaobvious]

I'm 6ft and have been since I was 12. I dare anyone to question my femaleness. Go ahead, put your hands down my pants to check and get peed on.

[@gariden]

i was 5’11 by 12 (and still am too, i was an early grower lol) and i equally got looks using the women’s as a kid. i am a trans man, so it worked well for me in the end, but i didn’t know that at the time, and it hurt.

[@missdaydreamss]

Who caused it? This whole gender thing is effecting biowomen. Sad

[@clancyalexander6192]

Thank you for reminding us and showing us how these bathroom bills don't actually help anyone and all they do is harm people. I think it's important for anyone who's affected by these bills negatively to speak out whether you're cis or trans, and to show people that the purpose of these bills isn't actually to protect anyone, because they don't.

[@MrFox-xr9cc]

Yeah... i never got how forcing trans men, who are men and therefor look like men, into womens bathroom, would help women to be safer? If anything it would be a lot easier for cis male predators to enter, simply claiming that they are trans men and therefor legally have to enter....

[@clancyalexander6192]

@notville_ What's 42%?

[@MarBL23563]

​@@clancyalexander6192dogwhistle

[@HiddenMongoose]

@@clancyalexander6192 you're better off not knowing. Just don't sweat it and live your best life

[@clancyalexander6192]

@@HiddenMongoose actually I think I do know and I always thought it was 41%. If that's the response, that person is a disgusting hateful piece of 💩

[@CoffeeDrinkerKim]

Wtf is that bathroom layout

[@rootfish2671]

Backrooms Arkansas edition

[@Am3lia77]

@@rootfish2671😂😂😂😂

[@Am3lia77]

It’s fucked up

[@CoffeeDrinkerKim]

@notville_ This sure was 42% of a bathroom alright…

[@CoffeeDrinkerKim]

@notville_ The pronouns of the psychopaths that made this bathroom after I’m done with them.

[@socksdosestuff]

i am a nonbinary person coud care less what pronouns people use for me but i am legally required to go to the womans bathroom i dont really mind nor care but some chick was so set i was a man she started banging on my bathroom stall i was terrified of her hurting me- she then was trying to get under the stall i mean going under the gap i kicked her in the face and she screamed in pain and started calling for security- i calmly explained what had happened and after a bit they finally let me leave edit: some of the girls in there stood up for me saying all the crazy shit the girl was doing and such so i got to leave dont know what they did with her though

[@neon17.08]

The fact that they think we're the ones assaulting and being creepy in the bathrooms, when its them. A cisgirl literally decided it was ok to be extremely gross and actually actively terrify you and start crawling under the door. There should be a fine for this kind of behaviour.

[@socksdosestuff]

@@neon17.08 yeah people really suck some people just see themselves as the victim never the villain.

[@daniellamcgee4251]

*couldn't care less 😊 Sorry your bathroom experience was that awful. Some crazy scared people out there with all the ridiculous fear-mongering for other's gain. 😤

[@ねこ男の子]

@@socksdosestuff I don't agree with Non Binary, as it actively gets Trans people hate crimed. Nothing wrong with androgyny pal. You cannot exist outside of the binary you claim is a spectrum.

[@ねこ男の子]

@@socksdosestuff Remember? Sex and Gender are different. That being said, what you encountered is a shame, a sin, and a disgusting display from a sick woman. You're just, not trans. Don't hide behind us. We're losing our rights because of you.

[@apricotbuncakes]

That bathroom design is literally out of my nightmare. I’ve had dreams about bathrooms designed like that. I didn’t know that was an actual thing. So sorry you had to deal with that.

[@wndr.c.1153]

I wrote the same kinda thing up above before reading your comment. Lol. Kudos.

[@maskedmallard537]

I thought I was the only one who had bathroom nightmares. There's always something fundamentally wrong and off about the bathroom. There's never any privacy in either bathroom. And somehow you always get wet?! I've been having these dreams for all my life. I'm 41 now and came out as Trans a couple years ago.

[@Desimere]

@@maskedmallard537 same, but i think that's just my brain's way of telling me not to pee myself in my sleep

[@maskedmallard537]

@@Desimere There was actually one time when I was fourteen where I was having the bathroom nightmare, woke having to pee, went into what looked like a perfectly reasonable not nightmare bathroom, and peed my bed. Fake wake up dream so real, I thought I was actually on the toilet. It sucked. Especially since I didn't want my mum to know, but I haaaaaate laundry. Can't remember if I told her or not.

[@coolstertothecore]

I've had nightmares almost identical to this too! I blame it on my high school...often only one stall would have a door and then the toilet would be blocked.

[@abracadaverous]

I'm glad it went okay, Ty. They really want all trans people to use the men's room, or never use the restroom at all, or to stop existing in public. I got harassed in the women's restroom as a trans man. The restroom was empty, but a woman saw me and followed me in just to scream at me. I was sitting there with my pants around my ankles, trying to reassure a strange woman enraged by my presence that SHE wasn't in danger, nobody was going to harm her, and I was just trying to pee. I washed my hands and left quickly, and she followed me out, pointing to the door and saying, "See? It says women! WOMEN!!!" The whole experience was traumatic and made me feel like I'd be safer peeing behind a bush.

[@genera1013]

Cruelty is the point. They want us to suffer until they can just kill all of us. 1940's on repeat.

[@maskedmallard537]

I had a similar incident at this sushi restaurant/club I was getting to like. It was great when I went a few weeks earlier at about 7pm. Very clean, professional, great sushi. Then I decided to try it after midnight. I had just finished my 4-12 shift and really wanted sushi and this place is in my neighborhood. So I made sure the kitchen was still open and headed over. The sushi was great as usual. The vibe was awesome. I had a nice bottle of saki, which I was enjoying responsibly with a glass of water. Had to pee. Danced my way past the dance area and headed to the bathroom. Only two options. Due to the club atmosphere, decided to head into the women's. Completely empty. No one in there. No one near there. Just sat down to pee when some guy comes to the door of the bathroom and starts yelling at me. Goes away. Comes back to yell at me again while I'm washing my hands. Still nobody else in this whole bathroom. My waiter noticed how down I was at my table and when hearing my experience, insisted that it couldn't be staff and tried cheering me up with a free dessert. I saw the main security guy as I was leaving and he admitted he sent his male staff in the women's room to harass me because he said some lady complained. What lady? I was the only fucking person in there. I put this on my review and the owner kinda brushed it off in a gaslighty kind of way. I can't go back there. I refuse to give these kind of people my business. So sad tho. 😿 It really was great sushi.

[@Mekose]

Well... at least in a really fucked up way that's can be seen as validation. You pass as a man enough to freak out women in the women's restroom; as it should be. I had a similar situation happen to be, although it wasn't as traumatic. This was when I was still boy-modeing; but I got stopped from going into a men's restroom by a janitor as she told me I was going into the wrong restroom. I had to explain to her a few times that "I was in the correct restroom" and she responded "no, hun, that's the men's restroom" until I explained it again and it clicked in her head and she apologized. Overall though, it made me really happy and gave me some confidence to start presenting feminine. I'm sorry you had to go through that. These laws can't stand; most cis people aren't even cis normative because our society's views on gender are extremely distorted; all the videos of cis people harassing other cis people in bathrooms for mistaking them as trans is proof of that. Once enough cis on cis in-fighting happens; they'll start crying to get these laws revoked.

[@xaryn.bluebearyn]

​@@MekoseWe can only hope so in the meantime.

[@_vallee_5190]

@@Mekose I had this exact same experience, I was still wearing boys clothes but I had a C-cup and I had already done lots of laser around that time. I got a weird look from a guy and said I was in the wrong bathroom, I said in a light feminine voice "sorry" and smiled at him, he smiled back and I then I immediately left and held in my pee for about an hour because I didn't want to use any restroom, it genuinely incredibly affirming for me at the time.

[@t3tsuyaguy1]

So...I already supported trans people using the bathroom they identify with. After hearing this story though, I've unlocked a new level of anger about the situation. No one should have to deal with this much just to pee🤬🤬

[@Joy-kc5xz]

Women deserve single sex spaces. No really cares about women using the men's room because females aren't a threat to males. This female person can go right ahead and use the men's room as she believes everyone thinks she's male so she shouldn't have a problem. But females have a right to keep males out of our spaces as males are bigger and stronger on average, possess organs that can be used to impregnate us, and an overwhelmingly large number of males objectify and fetishize female bodies. "Gender identity" is an irrelevant concept when it comes to predicting risk. "Transmen" pose the same risk as other females, as evidenced by the fact that only about 9% of "trans" prisoners are "transmen" and the rest are "transwomen." Bathrooms are places where women are vulnerable and partially naked. Violent assaults are not the only crimes committed that involve violation. Privacy is important.

[@mspears_bobobuddytheseniorcat]

I'm so sorry you have to be put into such a horrible uncomfortable situation! I have the weakest bladder known to man and if I were in your situation I'd probably be too scared to leave the house! That also upsets me even more that they put age limits on it as if trans people are coming after minors!

[@socksdosestuff]

right? like some people who are trans will but like not all of them just a bad person in a community of some sorts its never brought up unless its a lgbtq+ thing to

[@redrainer]

​@notville_you've commented 98 times on this channel. Go touch some grass goddamn

[@Chirrie]

@notville_ what does 42% mean?

[@--Animal--]

@@Chirrie He's trying to reference the suicide rate of transgenders in regards to upset some people. It's not even the right number nor is the number an accurate. Such brave people conservatives are aren't they?

[@Hm-qd9lo]

Yeah, they forget that there's trans people who are minors. Unless they think that trans adults (who used to be children/minors themselves, so there's really no logic here) brainwashed the younger generation. I mean, people already think it's a fucking "trend" and don't apply actual sociological patterns of queerness onto any of it (as in, sometimes, a generation will have larger coming out numbers than the previous one. Why? Because that new era has encountered more acceptance than the last). Hell, people/the government literally let gay people (and so inadvertently women and straight people) die from AIDs in the Gen-X era, that's why there aren't so many queers in the generation. And these same people I bet, are now trying to cull and "cure" trans-ness amongst the younger and older generations. Trans activism is important, vitally important, but these politicians don't care if some trans kids kill themselves, or if trans adults get raped and murdered because they're forced to use the "correct bathroom." I feel like we need a different approach at this point.

[@katdenning6535]

Straight cis woman here. I want ALL public bathrooms to be non-gendered &/or family-style bathrooms. I have a 12yo intellectually disabled son who requires my assistance toileting. As he grows, taking him into gendered bathrooms becomes more problematic. Similarly, my mother-in-law has mobility issues and sometimes needs her husband to assist her on/off the toilet. Gendered bathrooms are a huge problem for the disabled community too 😢

[@veronicamunn7720]

This is so true! Your comment also made me realize something else I didn't notice until I saw an article about it-- it's really rare to have changing tables in men's rooms (maybe has gotten better in the past few years?) because, idk, constructors forgot about dads? "Single-sex" bathrooms just seem like more of a hassle on so many fronts

[@xBloodxFangx]

As a side note, if you are not disabled, do not use the handicap stall. I almost peed myself waiting with my large service dog and knocked twice as this person fixed their hair and finished up. Its not your private VIP bathroom and it’s literally the only one we both fit in.

[@corhydrae3238]

@@veronicamunn7720 Conservatives just never bring that up because they neither care about single-dads nor disabled people nor just making life better for anybody, but they do care about making transpeople miserable.

[@bauefrenchmen3126]

The problem is all groups mentioned are minority groups let alone anything that messes with the status quo of social division makes conservatives feel personally attacked as stupid and ironic as it is. They hate society/government and the system that keeps them down but God forbid you try to change anything for the better since in their minds everyone else is morally/socially selfish and only go out of their way for their benefit mixed with their zero sum mentality means the only way to lift the people below them up is to force their status and privilege down taking away their rights. The same logic that had southern dixi traitors screaming their rights were taken away during the Civil War when told they could no longer take other peoples rights away and murder them for being a higher classes property.

[@doggycatalan]

Yes! Gosh, that must be a hassle for yall, sorry you have to go through that.

[@LeylaKaratas]

There was a toilet in the men's bathroom with NO stall, NO wall covering it and the whole bathroom DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A DOOR ??? Wth? Do men feel okay with that? Because I've literally had nightmares about public bathrooms designed like that and I think I'd sooner pee my pants than go in there, if I encountered one irl.

[@LeylaKaratas]

@notville_ I don't know what you're trying to say, but I'm German and I've never seen a bathroom like that here.

[@AndersWatches]

@@LeylaKaratas their KZbin account exists expressly to harass trans people in comments sections and encourage self unaliving, I doubt the child has ever said anything that makes sense in their entire life.

[@AndersWatches]

Also, the comments under this video have really opened my eyes to the fact that bathroom nightmares are super common and I feel less weird about having them 😅

[@AndersWatches]

@notville_ what are you going to do kiddo? Furiously repeat the same inane comment and further prove your inferiority to a bacterium?

[@FirestormDDash]

With enough drinks men will do anything. Remember. This is the group that has been to loose goldfish up their bladders from time to time 😂

[@Am3lia77]

The bathroom layout is horrendous but like… why no door?

[@searchingfororion]

There are a lot of nightclubs/bars that (even if they have "stalls") have no doors. Usually 🏳️‍🌈 ones. This was around way before the massive anti-trans stuff we're dealing with now. *Supposedly* it's to prevent drug use and/or hookups in there. The latter of which is also asinine because *MORE* folks go in a "buddy system" to take turns being a door for the other. Seriously, I've been seeing this in different variations all over the country for over 20 years. *It doesn't make your establishment safer.*

[@terriem3922]

Nightmare bathroom

[@searchingfororion]

@@-Heidiiiiii- But it doesn't prevent any of that though. Once again, you're encouraging *more* people to go into the bathroom in pairs (and there were certainly folks getting way more than "privacy" covered when I was in there) as for drugs, if people want to do drugs they're going to do drugs. I've seen tons of people dose misc stuff in the open (under tables, behind their drinks, sleight-of-hand, ect) or they can still do it in the bathroom with the door buddy (probably for trade). I remember seeing a tp dispenser with residue and a stripped pen more than once. So, it's just... if you're running the place, (and *actually* care) then take classes to identify problematic individuals/behavior instead of "Well if no one has privacy they'll behave." Because... that's a bit the opposite. If it's to *party* - folks are going to push the envelope to see how much they can "beat" you. And once again, it's innocent people who just want to pee that end up emotionally and physically uncomfortable.

[@searchingfororion]

@@-Heidiiiiii- And into the club? I've seen people do pretty much everything just out in the open in the club. (I'm not going to list for risk of causing triggers for anyone or making it seem like I'm "promoting" illegal behavior). But let me make that anti-terf point -that they refuse to acknowledge- (but with a slight substitution) if someone has their mind set on committing an act, entry in a bathroom is *not* going to change their mind. They're still going to do it. I want to clarify: Consentual acts between adults and people who have substance issues *are not* the same as what the anti-trans propaganda is pushing to fear monger these bills and laws. Taking away privacy makes people less safe. How can you prove/report someone exposing themselves to you was intentional if they had no way to really prevent it?

[@searchingfororion]

@@-Heidiiiiii- Sorry for the confusion, when you said "that" I thought you meant drugs. People were having sex openly in those bathrooms though. They weren't fully naked, but it was really obvious. What's your first language? I know bits of several different ones. Maybe I can explain finer points in your native language so it's a little more clear?

[@kit1063]

My question is: how are they going to enforce this? As a trans man, all my ID has M, and legally I am male. How will they know? It’s not as though trans people have to carry a card that says they’re trans… the logical conclusion is dehumanising medical ‘exams’ to check people’s genitals. Absolutely sickening. Sidenote: I know that non-passing trans people are the ones who will be most affected and will be visibly their biological sex. My question is how do they plan to enforce this with passing trans people, who are the majority.

[@franjkav]

Cis-women are most likely to be affected…

[@UlexiteTVStoneLexite]

​@@franjkavalready are and these stupid Republicans are far far too dumb to understand that. Oh wait they probably do understand but they don't actually care. Why in the world would they care if a cis woman it gets attacked for using the correct bathroom. Women are already second-class citizens to them so why would they care at all

[@DementisVenustas]

“How will they know?” Unhinged cis people can, will and DO barge in on people and forcibly demand/assault people to take down their pants and look at their genitals.

[@tk-oyote]

Non passing trans man here! I live in a southern state and unfortunately, the majority will only care if youre mtf or a masculine cis woman. If youre ftm, they won't care if you go in the mens bathrooms or not, because "there's a 'woman' in here hahaha" (of course not everyone is like that, but I haven't seen one person that isn't yet :( )

[@revolutionofthekind]

I'd also add that I'm a trans guy who usually passes, but I dont have an M on my ID because I havent been able to afford the fees. Its a problem for a lot of trans people because so many of us are poor. And like. Now we have to consider the safety of being on the record for changing our markers, lest someone like the AG of texas is actually able to gain access to said list like he wanted to.

[@XievisTheDragon]

I love how everyone was all about having unisex bathrooms back in 1997 when they were all watching Ally Mcbeal. I don't get why they didn't do that everywhere. Who cares what bathroom someone takes a shit in. Guess what a predator wont care who is in either bathroom. Maybe they should just I don't know, make bathrooms more safe? Keep them up front near registers so employees can see or hear who is inside them. If someone yells it cannot be ignored then. Removing the entrance door to the bathroom area is 1 good start. More stalls that are ceiling to floor as well should be added. Everyone should be able to see inside where people are washing / drying hands.

[@Kleineganz]

Here in Colorado, unisex bathrooms (mostly single-use) are popping up all over the place. Thankfully, we're a blue state, surrounded by red (and people here wonder why so many queer folks are moving here? LOL).

[@user-th1pv6ks5o]

The best design I've seen is open concept, with stalls floor to ceiling. It makes it so that people with disabilities, or that use wheelchairs can get to the bathroom more easily, without having to go into and navigate a cramped space, they also won't have the problem of having to wait for a stall if it is in use, they can just use any stall, instead of only having the one disability stall. Not wanting unisex bathrooms is unironically disabilityphobic. Then it is open concept, on the busiest floor, so people are constantly monitoring when they walk by the bathroom. You can do this pretty easily with almost all current bathrooms, minus plumbing, you just take out the barrier wall between the Men's and women's bathroom, stick a circle sink in the middle, rearrange the stalls, and bam unisex.

[@Kleineganz]

@@user-th1pv6ks5o That's a great idea for places that need more toilets, but for smaller spaces, the single-use bathrooms also work (and are required by law to accommodate wheelchairs, so they can't be cramped). Even newly built private homes and apartments require toilets to accommodate wheelchairs now. Neither of the vanity toilets in my home are small or cramped (even the upstairs one, which someone with a wheelchair couldn't easily access).

[@vivil2533]

I've always said stalls should be fully enclosed, like an outhouse or an airplane bathroom. You can fit a toilet, and even a sink into a small space if needed.

[@Kleineganz]

@@vivil2533 Not too small. Wheelchair accommodations need to be considered.

[@littlerobotfairy9710]

I'm from Arkansas and I'm a trans woman. The only thing I can do is hope that I pass as well as my friends say I do. I went to the men's bathroom at TJ Maxx and Burger King in Hot Springs, and two dudes freaked out and said "I'm sorry ma'am". What in the heck am I supposed to do?

[@Mekose]

The kind of sad advice is to just use the women's restroom and act like you're supposed to be there (because you are), do your business and leave. At least that's what I do and I haven't had any problems yet. It's one of the benefits of passing because 99% of people don't pay attention to other people in the bathroom unless they stand out a lot, they're all just there to pee and leave. Good luck out there

[@DZrache]

no u@notville_

[@ねこ男の子]

@@Mekose This, you said it much nicer than I have. It's called harmony. Maintaining peace.

[@kenskitchen]

@notville_*better

[@GodSoLoved.Yeshua]

Males can't turn into females. You are a biological male, that makes you a man.

[@APairOfOldSkoolVans]

I remember not being out yet and going to school as a girl. But I looked like a boy because I’m a trans man. I was legally and socially a girl and yet I would still not be able to use the girl’s bathroom. I just didn’t look girl enough so I’d skip class to go pee (when teachers felt generous enough to let me), I’d do laps around the school waiting for all the people in front of the bathrooms to walk away so I could go in, I’d stay in the stall and hide whenever someone came in, and I’d avoid drinking water and hold in my pee till I got home and felt so sick and nauseous from it. Trans people aren’t a threat to cis people in the bathroom, but cis people are a huge threat to trans people just trying to pee even if it’s totally legal for them to be in whatever bathroom they’re in

[@isabellanardulli7175]

I remember seeing a statistic that Trans people are many times more likely to be assaulted in a public restroom than others. And somehow we’re still being pinned as the bad ones

[@xmillion1704]

As a caring father to my beloved trans son, this is a truly heartbreaking story. This not only points out a bar whose mgmt not only lags far behind the times by not providing appropriate facilities to serve the needs of ALL men, but who also seem to share a commonly held view of men as not desiring/requiring/deserving more respectable accommodations and being inured to such indignities.

[@RobertRodgers-r5h]

As a gay man who is very supportive of our trans community, I have nothing but respect for you and your struggle. I am also commenting to help your channel with the algorithm because more people need to see your content. Thank you for making and sharing your videos.

[@diverightin9243]

I agree. More people need to see this channel. So commenting, liking and subscribing.

[@noahwelch5064]

As a pre t trans guy who passes like 60% of the time I don’t feel safe in either bathroom it’s a nightmare

[@Quailbbu]

You should probably just go to the men's bathroom. Cis Women are just looking for trans people.

[@HiddenMongoose]

Things will get better. Tbh I've always found that just acting like you belong helps. If someone gives you weird looks, give them weird looks back, look confused, look behind you-- gaslighty but it's what they're doing to you. You belong so don't be afraid to act like it. Fake it til you make it

[@dynogamergurl]

Yikes that sounds like a nightmare to be kind mid enough to not look like you belong in either 🥶 The anxiety I feel second hand form that

[@blackmarya]

The "you are like Papa" killed me, thanks for cheering me up on a cold UK evening Ty

[@RachelRichards]

I'm a male to female transsexual. I went into a Dunkin Donuts men's bathroom when I was 18, a year into starting hormones, and when I exited, an elderly man said "YOU WENT INTO THE MEN'S BATHROOM". When you start passing as the opposite sex, super awkward things happen!

[@RachelRichards]

@notville_ - Based

[@neff6185]

@RachelRichards they’re quoting an incorrect suicide rate of trans individuals to try and upset ppl, not based at all :/

[@RachelRichards]

@@neff6185 - That is the point. Don't give them what they want, which is to upset you. Just mock them.

[@vickypedia1308]

​@@RachelRichardsnotville once claimed to not have pronouns. I'd like to think that notville is in a gender discovery phase, and we should be welcoming towards people like that 😊

[@jayfalcon-rw3qc]

​​@notville_you're probably the guy clogging all the toilets with your rancid dumps the same way you're clogging the comments with them

[@echoawoo7195]

omg I had to use the restroom at work recently, and thanks to my work falling under the categories listed under DeDumbass's bathroom ban, I now have **8** complaints about me using the men's restroom as required by law, the cops have come and warned me against doing it again in the future. there's nowhere else I can pee. literally what am I supposed to do here.

[@AammaK]

There's no way in hell those complains have any merit. That's insane! You are following the law and the fucking _police_ is asking you not to??? How do they excuse that? I'd iussue a complaint in return, both to the workplace that is asking you to break the law thus making it impossible for you to do your bathroom business during work, which cannot be allowed, and the police for misconduct. How is the police going to answer to notedly having asked you to go against the current law?

[@wiesejay]

If you consider that DeSantis & Co. get a little hate boner every time a trans person is humiliated, suddenly these laws make a lot more sense

[@saschaobvious]

Little being the operative word there

[@jeniferbaldridge4749]

They 👏 do 👏 not 👏 care. The whole point of laws like this is to make us unable to exist in public.

[@LDrosophila]

This has to be a violation of your employee rights

[@frozeroze8128]

Literally all these laws are for is to cause harm. It's already illegal to do anything to children you think someone who's intending to break those much more severe laws will follow the ones about where you can take a piss in privet as the only law keeping them from causing harm? I'm sick of the thinly veiled attacks on people who's only crime is self love and acceptance of others its sad as hell

[@Monaster01]

God, I feel this on a spiritual level. I'm ftm trans and lactose intolerant, which is a TERRIBLE combination with regards to public bathrooms. Men's rooms usually don't have enough stalls, so there's been many times where I had to choose between using the women's bathroom or shitting myself.

[@HiddenMongoose]

Yeah what's up w that? Me and my father have talked about this before too; just have a BUNCH of stalls! It's not more expensive and you can pee AND shit in them. Smh silly bathrooms

[@PixieoftheWood]

@@HiddenMongoose I'm also confused by this. Like...do some men actually *like* being completely exposed to everyone else while they're peeing? Why not have all stalls?

[@HiddenMongoose]

@@PixieoftheWood part of me thinks it's ease of access or maybe that smidgen of plastic saves construction cost? Idfk.... some urinals like at my old school had dividers, so at least there was that. Still feels like partially wasted space though

[@HiddenMongoose]

@MrBlle9 ive read up on that; apparently the gap between the door and the floor is for ease of cleaning? I feel like opening the door achives the same effect without being able to play musical stalls by army crawling on the floor (popular amongst primary/elementary schoolers) but what do I know lol.

[@ねこ男の子]

God. I feel this on a spiritual level. I'm a cisgendered male with IBS and I just can't! I have poop on me everywhere I go! Not enough stalls!!!! You sound like an imbeciIe

[@SapphicTeen]

I think I wanna show this to my mom or dad, show them the future they're really making

[@blueisorange457]

Trans bathroom anxiety is absolutely real, trans bathroom stigma is unfortunately very real too. It's a constant public stress. Thank you for sharing. I have a positive story to share... I was on a road trip and I stopped at a rest stop and there was a short line in the men's room.This was in rural Oregon, so I was already anxious, and the person in front of me was not someone I would profile as being pro trans rights, but he saw that I was not waiting on the urinals and he let me skip him in line, and it was really kind! I have no idea if he could tell I was trans or if he was just being nice but it was a good reminder that 99% of people are not out to get me in the bathroom.

[@HORSEZZZZZzzzzz96]

Ooh what part of Oregon if you don't mind my asking? I ask because I lived in Medford for 25 years. Southern Oregon can be a fucking trip but people are generally hella friendly.

[@yeahok8259]

I'm a pre transition trans guy and I can confirm that public restrooms suck ass. I generally try to hold it if it's not unisex. If you aren't sure you pass, your options are either: Hold it and be miserable, use the women's and feel dysphoric (potentially making women uncomfortable because I do still PRESENT as masc), or brave the men's and hope some dude doesn't think I'm a girl.

[@AndersWatches]

I’ll be honest, men generally tend not to pay attention to others in the bathroom. I know it’s scary, but you’re probably less likely to get someone being an asshole to you for your gender presentation in the men’s toilets.

[@maskedmallard537]

I naturally have boobs and I naturally have a beard (no hormones, intersex condition). If there's no individual or family bathroom, I put on a mask like I'm still afraid of Covid and head for the women's. I guess I could just wear a very baggie hoodie. I've done before. But women's bathrooms tend to be a bit cleaner.

[@tjenadonn6158]

Honestly as a trans girl who was always fairly androgynous before I began my transition (long hair, low muscle tone, always clean shaven, big set of moobs (or as I now call them a head start)) I think you'll be safe in the men's room. Especially if you have a more masc haircut, keep your head down, and don't talk (who really talks to anyone in the restroom anyways?) most guys will probably just assume that you're short.

[@AndersWatches]

@notville_ your life must be incredibly fulfilling.

[@stranger592]

​@notville_dude you're everywhere in this comment section, please get a life

[@icarusbinns3156]

I seriously love drunk girls. They are your best friend right when you need it. I still look very female (I hate it and cannot wait for my top surgery), but using a public restroom just freaks me out in the worst way possible. At Pride several years ago, I reached that Desperate Potty Dance stage, and could not find any restroom that was not nasty. The lovely lady I’d been adopted by earlier in the day saw my distress (we were both pretty tipsy), and said, “Hey, my mom lives a couple blocks away.” And tows me out of Pride, to her mother’s apartment, and tells her mom, “My friend needs a bathroom, can he use yours?” Thankfully, the woman said yes. Really awkward, but kind of adorable. Thanks, Mel and Mrs. Anderson!

[@LoreleiStockhausen]

I am a trans woman, and my first month or two of using the women's bathroom at work was filled with absolute fear. I know my voice doesn't pass at all, so I am absolutely silent. I was afraid any noise my body makes will set off alarm bells with the cis women in the other stalls. When I first started, I would only go in if I thought no one was in there. I still keep my eyes to the ground, avoid eye contact, and go in and out as fast as possible unless I have a friend going in with me. I have no qualms talking if my friends are there just because I know I have a cis person to back me up. In situations like this, cis people hold all the power. If a cis person doesn't defend me during a transphobic freak out, it could become really bad for me when I was in Texas.

[@oIy__y]

​@@stephenholland4441seeking proper medical help would mean transitioning honey

[@GodSoLoved.Yeshua]

No it wouldn't. Transitioning doesn't actually turn a man into a woman. You can believe you are a woman but why do I have to pretend you are a woman. Men are males, they have a pen-is. Women are female, they have a vag.

[@akym82810]

"I Can Still Shit at the Vape Shop" sounds like a Lana Del Rey single and I bet it would be fire too.

[@freyarobinson804]

I can relate, as a pre-op trans woman that passes ok I can't even will myself to use a public bathroom unless it's a single person "family" bathroom with a lock. My cis girl friends don't think it's a big deal but they don't understand the anxiety we have been conditioned to feel, in the bathroom I would stand out the least it always feels like I'm one clock away from being assulted by someones bigoted boyfriend or father and when I use the men's room creepy guys leer at me or give me dirty looks which doesn't feel any safer.😔

[@jetsam666]

German here, on any metal or goth festival I ever went to or even just metal/ goth clubs I went to, at some point during the night, women bathrooms are just so yucky and the lines so long, that women just go to mens restrooms just staring at the floor, using the stalls since they are more clean and comfortable to use at this point than the ones in womens bathrooms and men peeing while standing, use the womens bathroom. No one cares, no one makes eye contact, every one just cool about it with whatever gender using both restrooms so everyone is happy xD I think I used more often mens restrooms there than the womens ones while staring at floors, shielding my eyes with my hand, only to show I am not looking or seeing anything from the guys. I am a trans guy just starting the transition and tbh, here I don't have much concern. At least in the area where I live, no clue how it is on the other side of Germany but here in the south west part it's no big deal.

[@MrFox-xr9cc]

#Dixiklo

[@evan_j]

Here in Australia sometimes women desperate to pee will skip the line and use the men's. Never seen a man in the women's but if they explained I'm sure most women would be fine about it.

[@jujublue4426]

​@@evan_jThat's the thing, there's a double standard. While it's fine for a women to go into the men's room women will automatically freak out and assume the worst if it's a man doing the same 🙄

[@MrFox-xr9cc]

@@jujublue4426 Considering that men also pee standing with their genitals "out in the open" I'd generally see women in mens restrooms as actually more intrusive to ones intimacy

[@TheGuindo]

a lot of the queer/gay bars & clubs I've been to here in the US don't even bother gender segregating the bathrooms at all. Either it's just one restroom that has multiple fully enclosed stalls (no urinals), or they have 2 separate bathrooms but no posted signs and just let people use whichever one they want. It's really refreshing, honestly.

[@WetDoggo]

weird how in america a place is required to waste huge space with parking lots, but aren't required to give adequate restroom conditions...

[@Debbie338]

Yikes. That’s something I’ve always asked about and no Repub ever has a solution. It’s awful you had to do all that.

[@eldritchtourist]

Their solution they aren't saying out loud is "stop being trans, we're going to make it so difficult to be trans in public that you either stop doing it or hopefully never go out in public at all, which is win-win since either way you'll be away from us normals".

[@beyondwx]

I really love that the conservative agenda in my lifetime has evolved from “smaller government and low taxes” to “let’s make pooping weird and uncomfortable for everyone”

[@UnhingedFridge]

Janitor here, and I'm fucking upset with how your experience played out - Even the lack of toilet paper in the "guys" room makes me angry. I'm also upset with how terribly guys treat our shared restrooms - what feels a like a constant abandonment of the social contract. Thank you for calling this out publicly though, you rock.

[@deaddsouth]

how exactly are these bathroom bills enforced? are people designated to check IDs outside of bathrooms? I really want to understand how this law is even upheld. as a trans man, I pass 100% and I'd definitely just continue using the mens room because how is anybody even supposed to tell

[@nightcollapse]

That's what I'm thinking

[@Cruznick06]

These bills attack anyone who doesn't perfectly confirm to gender norms. One of my friends is just really androgynous. She's AFAB and cisgender. Poor woman gets harassed now when she tries to go pee. Its so frustrating.

[@henkdevos590]

Checking IDs wouldn't even work because you need to go to the bathroom of your assigned gender at birth. Most trans people have their preferred gender on their ID

[@nightcollapse]

@@Cruznick06 I was wondering how it would be policed but your comment made me realize it really doesn't need to be, just by being there it incites violence and could get people in jail. Its so fucked up... Its just like before Stonewall.

[@miasparks167]

It will be enforced arbitrarily and most likely against any one who doesn’t fit into strict gender binary/expression. Any cisgender man/woman can easily have their man/womanhood stripped alongside their humanity. Then people can quickly validated reactionary violence against them cause of how general society is towards trans people.

[@Nevilah]

being afab, nb, w/ short hair and walking into a womans bathroom gives me alone gives me so much anxiety, this experience must've been terrifying for you im so sorry 😭😭

[@nitachondria]

i'm so sorry you have to deal with this nonsense

[@SweetCrumblingDoll]

Your story is the point, "We just need to go to the bathroom. Let us pee. Let us poop. Mind your own business."

[@stephenholland4441]

Go to the toilet rooms that matches your biological sex then, instead of acting like spoilt brats who don't even know what gender they are, Or GO HOME! This wouldn't be an issue is claptrap like transgenderism didn't exist!

[@oIy__y]

​@@stephenholland4441You have 10 comments on this channel being a dick, 10 COMMENTS. Wouldn't you rather find something to do with your life? Like go to school and learn about social constructs or biology, since you know so much about it?

[@marshy9880]

​@@stephenholland4441it would be much easier if you stayed home swampy 😁

[@taskrabb1t]

just got a ad for the epoch group’s transphobic new “documentary” on this video :(

[@SarastistheSerpent]

Make sure to report it to KZbin

[@taskrabb1t]

@@SarastistheSerpent so.. report it to the organization who put the ad there? i commented because creators have the ability to block certain advertisers from appearing on their channel.

[@ShadowsofYesterday]

Yesterday I was at work using the women's employee restroom, but as it turns out, the women's customer restroom was out of order. So as I was just finishing up and getting ready to walk out, I heard a father send his two daughters, one quite young and the other very, very young into the restroom, so they could both do their business while he waited outside. Me being a rather square-jawed trans woman whose shadow can be completely covered by no amount of foundation and concealer, I immediately thought to myself "Well, guess I'm staying in this stall for a while." It's simply ridiculous that the fear-mongering in this country is at a level where I have to feel afraid just to leave the toilet in an employee restroom.

[@evias9943]

We need gender neutral bathrooms. NOW.

[@missnaomi613]

YES!

[@missnaomi613]

@notville_ 1) thank you for supporting this channel by commenting. 2) being nice costs nothing.

[@tjenadonn6158]

​@notville_Yeah, at least 42% of bathrooms being gender neutral would be a good target.

[@CraftIP]

We need guys not to destroy their fucking bathrooms first

[@FirestormDDash]

In canada, the wheelchair accessible bathrooms are treated as gender neutral. 😂

[@_frogerino]

my advice as a trans person and wheelchair user: trans people should always use the disabled toilet. invisible disabilities are a thing so most disabled people won’t get mad at you or question it.

[@jennoscura2381]

As a fellow trans wheelchair user I do get annoyed when I see a presumably abled person using the disabled stall if other stalls are available. Yes invisible disabilities are a thing. I am autistic. But if I see someone that looks like they could use a regular stalk, I get annoyed because there is only one stall I can use. Sometimes the disabled stall isn't big enough to properly fit my power chair. So I end up having to pee with the stall door open.

[@AndersWatches]

We shouldn’t have to though.

[@literaterose6731]

Just noting (as someone with a mostly “invisible” disability and a trans person): not all places have separate disabled (or disabled/family) single bathrooms. I’d say *most* public places don’t provide that, so… much as I prefer it when possible, it’s not something I ever count on. ☹️

[@katyungodly]

I ONLY feel comfortable using family rooms, I refuse to risk being accosted in the women's room and the mens room is nearly equally uncomfortable to use. And yes it is extremely annoying when I see my able-bodied cis coworkers hogging the only room I feel comfortable using.

[@vvronskyy]

I always use the disabled toilets at school, which is great on my campus (there are plenty), but there is a total of ONE disabled toilet on the entire campus of my other school, in the back of the fitness center.

[@Ash___________]

MtF here. It always blows my mind how many trans experiences are actually universal, rather than transfemme-only or transmasc-only: - menopausal hot flushes & night sweats early in hormonal transition, - hairy boobs (admittedly you guys have a much more efficient solution to that; you just chop the damn things off, instead of de-hairying them with high-powered lasers like we do), - uncomfortable crotch-bleeding (after orchiectomy, I bled for 6 straight weeks; going into a shop as a visibly AMAB person to buy pads from the "feminine hygiene" aisle was... uh... less than fun😬) - getting mis-clocked as the other kind of trans (I've literally had hospital staff ask me if I'm getting a mastectomy - I guess they thought my sports bra was a binder🤣) After watching this video, I guess I should add another item to that list: - being in a women's space & looking intently at the floor, in deep, unrelenting, cosmic terror at the thought of scaring some poor cis lady, & devoting every last brain cell to the task of getting out of there as fast as humanly possible

[@WinningSidekick]

OH, is that why I woke up soaked in sweat this morning?? TIL. Thank you for telling me what my endocrinologist didn't about HRT.

[@Ash___________]

@@WinningSidekick Oh yeah, my best friend & I bonded over it. We both (despite starting as adults) went on blockers for a while before starting E (or T in his case), so we had SERIOUS hot flushes & night sweats for months on end while we we hormoneless. Even if you're taking the (frankly more sensible) route of starting directly on E/T without a prior period on blockers, you're still probably gonna experience some degree of menopausal BS as your body adjusts to having a new dominant sex hormone.

[@WinningSidekick]

​@@Ash___________ I'm not on blockers, but I did just increase my t doseage, so that's probably why 😅 Seriously, thank you for the comment, I was worried I'd gotten sick or something.

[@MC-ep8cu]

It's almost like you should just live with the cards life dealt you. Can't change nature

[@WinningSidekick]

@@MC-ep8cu Yes, my natural hormones which gave me bodily pains and monthly bouts of suicidal ideation are surely better than the odd hot flash.

[@finnilyenough]

I'm also FtM in Arkansas. The sooner I can get out of here the better

[@finnilyenough]

@notville_ hello again. Get a life, dude. You have too much time on your hands

[@whilenya4714]

​@@finnilyenoughPretty sure they're a bot. Either way, they only want attention, so it's better to just report and ignore.

[@finnilyenough]

@NotVille_ what are you doing 😆 you are being so embarrassing and you don't even know it lol

[@HazelwithaZ]

It's so important to explain what happened to you. This needs to be on the record as an example of how these laws are carried out. Thank you.

[@CharlieLynne-143]

What a handsome and genuine young man! This dumb bathroom madness is absolutely ridiculous!

[@AlkisGD]

Perfect time of the year for a horror story. Best of luck for the future, bud.

[@zalletu]

I felt anxiety just listening to this story, sorry ypu had to go through that. Hopefully things will change for better soon…

[@KestrelDC]

The people who make and support these bills have no idea who they’re sending into what bathrooms. They’re so freaked out about “men” being in the women’s bathroom but then they FORCE MEN TO USE THE WOMEN’S BATHROOM! Be great to ask someone “would you be comfortable with or want me using the women’s bathroom?” Lmfao. Also… how on earth would these sorts of things even be enforced? Are we gonna have to show some security officer ID to go to the bathroom?! That would be incredibly dystopian! Shoutout to the woman that showed you an available stall, though!

[@rbarber]

Before I came out, I passed as male for a bit and was frequently hassled for being in the female toilets despite being afab and "identifying" as female at the time!

[@potato_that_tickles_his_pickle]

I really feel bad for all the trans people dealing with all those bathroom bills, I can't even imagine how difficult that must be. I've only used the womens restroom once since I was around 12 maybe (no discriminatory trans bathroom laws here in Sweden fortunately). I was at a bar a few years back and had to use the bathroom. So I went into the mens room and opened the door to the only stall, there I saw a man standing on top of the toilet seat and peeing onto the wall. I just closed the door again and carefully checked if the womens restroom was empty, it was so I had the fastest possible pee and then speed walked out of there

[@NotALotOfColonial_SpaghettiToG]

hahahah that visual is so fuckin' funny, made my year. Sorry you had to see that, I'm baffled but impressed.

[@fart63]

Wait you were 12 at a bar?

[@potato_that_tickles_his_pickle]

@@fart63 I've only used the women's bathroom once SINCE I was 12, I was an adult that one time. I see how it can sound confusing tho

[@MElaughs]

I worked with a ftm trans man, when he was using the men's room the other men found it a massive concern that their genitals might be seen and made a huge thing about it, he was made to feel pretty bad about his freedom to exist by a lot of the team, he always used the cubicles to pee, so he never saw anything of theirs an vice versa. I befriended him early on and we had a running joke, I bought him a pants packer to show my support prior to his surgery (he already had a top wrap) and the running joke was always trunk jealousy because his was bigger and even interchangeable. He now walks around with BDE and quite rightly.

[@wndr.c.1153]

I've had dreams of impossible public bathrooms. Lol. Thankfully, I wake up.😂 Hope they fix bathroom respect on all holidays, though.

[@mspears_bobobuddytheseniorcat]

I immediately thought the same thing! I've had sooooo many dreams like that and the bathroom layout was a perfect example! 😹

[@ChromeSkeletons]

I'm very androgynous and I get looks no matter which bathroom I go in. I generally choose which bathroom to use based on whichever gender I look closest to that day but often I stick out regardless. I'm extremely grateful to live in a state where there aren't any bathroom laws and the worst that has happened is the occasional stare as someone tries to figure out what gender I am. If I were in many of these other states it would be terrifying. The reality is that people will just need to accept sometimes they may see someone who doesn't look completely like a certain gender using the bathroom and that's okay. We're your friends, neighbors, and fellow human beings. We're not there to make you uncomfortable, we're just there to pee like everyone else.

[@rion2499]

Man, I feel this. I’m FTM, just succeeded in getting my passport changed to m, bind as much as I can and started on T 1.5 months ago. . . And I still am in that nebulous grey area of not passing yet. Some combo of baby face, large chest even bound and high voice. But. . . I’m masc and I’m legally recognised as m, so! It feels dishonest/icky if I go into a W bathroom, but also scary to go into a M where people can see me. I know I’ll get looks no matter which I use. . . I use a cane, so can use disabled toilet without but of a second glance but-! They are often always locked??? Or not even available?? TLDR: at least I’ve always been good at holding it for hours, I guess, but damn if this shit ain’t exhausting. Just let people puss in peace! God!

[@TheGuindo]

congrats on starting T bro! I also suffer from baby face and huge chest even bound (past tense for that one, thankfully) and i know exactly what you mean by being in that nebulous area of anxiety no matter which restroom you decide to use. i know it's hard to eliminate that anxiety entirely, but i can tell you that, in my experience, most guys aren't paying much attention to the other guys in the restroom. they just want to get in, do their business, and get out. restrooms aren't, like, a social space for men the way they tend to be for women, so you're less likely to be noticed than it feels like you are. but with any luck you won't have to worry about it too much longer. here's hoping you have good genes for facial hair, it did wonders for my baby face problem!

[@fart63]

Bro I know your options are limited but pls don’t hold it for that long! It can do real damage to your bladder and intestines!

[@GodSoLoved.Yeshua]

Females can't turn into males. You can transition, but you will always be a biological female. Men are biological males. Women are biological female. How you feel doesn't dictate who you actually are. You are loved ✝️ I understand it sounds harsh, but it's the truth. Females can not turn into males.

[@cjsparks02]

Who wants to take a shit on display like that?? That bar needs a serous reno, smh

[@Tormekia]

Bathroom rules: don't pee on the seat and wash your hands when done. That should be it. Sigh.

[@TabbyQ.9563]

I once used a bathroom at a LGBTQ+ community center when dropping my daughter off at queer prom. One giant bathroom with stalls only. Boys & girls all used the bathroom together and it honestly didn't feel like an issue. I don't really understand why bathrooms need to be gendered at all. Just provide private stalls. Why do I care if a guy sees me wash my hands?

[@AdaminTranzit]

@RealQuarlie or dumb women afraid of other men as if all men are born inheritably sexual LMAO

[@ThanatosWings]

I stopped using the womens washroom way before hrt cause women and me were so unconfotable with me there. One women even screemed hysteriacallly in a resturant washroom at me. It scared me, i thought she was going to hit me.

[@carolinefiorentini3233]

What's crazy for me as a French woman is the lack of privacy in these restrooms. In France, it's now really rare to find toilets in stalls. The vast majority can be found behind whole doors in an enclosed space. Therefore, as we usually lack toilets for women it's not uncommon for women to go to the men's bathroom to use the closed toilets. And that's not even considering the many exemples where the bathroom is not gendered at all and consists of closed toilets...

[@mross4]

Honestly, I'm really scared being a young Black trans guy in Texas. Any advice on how to deal with stuff like this (or at least fight against the bills)

[@hannahshaw-williams4950]

That bathroom sounds like something that escaped from an anxiety dream.

[@mulderitsmee]

As a woman who is a survivor of sexual assault, i cannot explain how much it angers me to see people suggesting that an actual predator gives a shit about the sign on the door. Blaming trans people is just another way of deflecting the blame away from predatory cis men and on to queer people, using the old "we're all deviants and perverts trope". It feels like a betrayal to see how many of our fellow LGBTQ+ people - ESPECIALLY lesbians - are participating in that and actively avoid reflecting on how they're contributing to the same anti-queer hysteria they were protesting against just 20 years ago.

[@BlueMoonFoxi]

@notville_lmfao this is a serious issue you edgy 13yo

[@wackygoober]

@notville_ wow bro you're so edgy for saying who cares omg so cool

[@margaretjohnson6259]

i'm a ciswoman. i used to have very short hair, wore no makeup, did wear aloha shirts and was mistaken for a man on more than one ocassion. we need gender neutral restrooms. stalls and compartmented urinals. this has to end.

[@NisJol]

You need gender neutral bathrooms because you, a cis woman got mistaken for a man a few times? woopti fkn doo?? Get over it

[@matrixdefector4344]

as a fellow trans man in Arkansas, I dare them to arrest me LMAO. also I am so jealous. I have no one to go to pride with, as a fellow rural queer.

[@skyripper]

AR MtF here, I just use the women's anyway as I thought they amended the law to specifically pertain to it being illegal to engage in sexual indecency with a child present. I understand that this can be abused, but it's good enough for me to use my "correct" bathroom as needed.

[@HiddenMongoose]

Thing is, they think they're already doing this as, in their eyes, being Trans IS sexual and exposing children to that is somehow involving them in our """ *kink """ *not a kink. Ffs.

[@skyripper]

@@HiddenMongoose oh 100% agree with you there. The text does define what an indecent act is, which the burden of proof is on the state for. I'm really just saying, good luck proving is suckers, I'm just here to pee and leave - SECTION 4. Arkansas Code § 5-14-110(a), concerning the conduct that 5 constitutes the offense of sexual indecency with a child, is amended to add 6 an additional subdivision to read as follows: 7 (6)(A) Being eighteen (18) years of age or older, the person, 8 for the purpose of arousing or gratifying a sexual desire of himself or 9 herself or any other person, enters into or remains in a public changing 10 facility that is assigned to persons of the opposite sex while knowing a 11 minor of the opposite sex is present in the public changing facility.

[@HiddenMongoose]

@@skyripper ffs. Yeah because bathrooms are the SEXIEST place to pick up women.

[@skyripper]

@@HiddenMongoose I guess that's how white republican men do it all the time lmao, so they are basing it on that??

[@Mekose]

@@skyripper "8 for the purpose of arousing or gratifying a sexual desire of himself or 9 herself " The messed up thing is that they will try to define ^existing as a trans person^ as "gratifying sexual desire" because conservatives don't think trans people exist and it's just a kink.

[@dianappy]

it’s stupid that those laws would even have to make you consider if it’s a school and whether or not people under 18 are there. i’m literally a trans girl and under 18. using the mens room would be very scary for me… but we’re protecting the children, right? 🙄

[@dianappy]

also this story sounds like my everyday bathroom missions lol

[@Mysocksaresour]

(little tw) exactly, its so stupid, trans people are at a higher risk of assault if they use the bathroom assigned with their sex at birth, but conservatives don't seem to care. They care about things that aren't actually happening, to spread their propaganda, and its so horrible.

[@gurusmurf5921]

A stand-to-pee device may help you avoid situations like this in the future. There is also a technique for aiming involving hand positioning. I can't really speak to the effectiveness of either I'm just aware of both of these things. A friend wanted to write their name in the snow and it turned into a whole journey of learning.

[@StephenTurnerVlogs]

The only logical way you can use a bathroom is to leave wherever you are, go home, and come back. Regardless of where you are. Way to go legislators.

[@ThePathOfAshes]

we don't even have these type of bathroom issues in NL with bills on trans folks access and stuff, but as a trans masc enby on T I feel anxiety going to any bathroom that's not neutral and its getting worse now that I'm growing facial hair. Personal comfort vs social comfort... options don't line up either way.

[@questrequested9171]

Baudet and Van Meijeren enter the room: (Obviously, these are harmful people tho, people shouldn't support them, ever)

[@HiddenMongoose]

I hope things get better. Sometimes it seems like the best option is the "least worse" option. Consider your safety always. We're all here backing you up, mate

[@goyoelburro]

*Thank you for what you do!* Trans rights are human rights!

[@Beachback]

@MrBlle9 creating a video about the bathroom problem trans people face

[@frishter]

Human rights are reserved for humans.

[@sfkdsxzjkcfjldskaf99sddf809sdf]

@@frishter Go back to elementary school and eat paste

[@sfkdsxzjkcfjldskaf99sddf809sdf]

@@frishter Mouth breathing troglodyte

[@GodSoLoved.Yeshua]

No such thing as trans gender, hormones and surgery doesn't actually turn a man into a woman. A man is a biological male. A woman is a biological female.

[@CaptIronfoundersson]

To be fair, using the women's room in a nasty bar because some prick blew out the men's room is a very male thing to do.

[@viverra]

I've seen a lot of public events (especially sports) where the women's room has such a line that the women use the men's room. I suppose you could say that was a very female thing to do. But I'd prefer to say that doing whatever you need to to pee is just human.

[@sisterthesister4870]

Fun fact: in this situation, you're legally allowed to squat anywhere inside of the establishment where you feel safe, and just go on the floor. Source: trust me, I knew a lawyer once. In all seriousness: forcing someone to do mark all kinds of legal checks inside their head before being able to do a normal bodily function, or forcing folks to go into a bathroom that's literally unsafe for them, is all kinds of f*cked up. As a disabled person I can sort of emphatise with the difficulty of finding a suitable bathroom, having to call ahead to check, or just having to leave early. The difference is that if I complain about it, I don't have to out myself (I'm in a wheelchair, people already know I'm disabled) and no one will try to tell me I don't exist or that I'm some sort of predator. I feel for anyone who might find themselves in that situation.

[@Brosemon]

The masculine urge to describe things in MS Paint

[@Junosensei]

I had to drive down from NY to Georgia to see my sister in the hospital and on the way back today, my GPS took me through Tennessee for 3 hours. I had to pee, badly. My phone was dead. I thought, "Oh god, what are the laws on trans people going to the bathroom in TN!?" I couldn't look it up, so I held my bladder for an extra _three hours_ until I made it past TN. The good news is TN's bathroom laws have currently been struck down by courts, so there are none currently active! =) The bad news is I didn't _completely_ make it to the bathroom, so when I finally did go, I walked out of the McDonald's bathroom in different clothing than when I went in with and probably caught a few stares for it. ):

[@jaegerthegreat7619]

I remember going to a club for a rave that had 3 stalls 1 was out of order 1 had no door the other did have a door and worked, which I was grateful for but definitely not a good move. Some of the bathrooms are so decrepit and don't take into account some men do need privacy and not every man including cis men is even capable of standing to pee. Hoping within the next couple year I will unlock the ability to stand to pee

[@eldritchtourist]

Even with cis men, the stall without a door thing is horrifying-- who on earth wants to shit in plain view of everybody walking by? Making noise is harrowing enough.

[@historicalperspective]

Ty I have tremendous respect for you sir. Most people in your circumstance (born as a girl) let their personality be predetermined for them by their reproductive system, you on the other hand said "fuck that, I don't want my personality to be predetermined for me, I want to by my own self" Like I cannot explain enough the significance of that. You truly are a model for future generations sir, much respect.

[@CaptainBuggyTheClown]

Shoutout to the girl who understood the situation and saved you from anxiety.

[@aaronjames5588]

I used to live in Arkansas - fort smith specifically. I moved to Louisville KY (blue city, red state sadly - but way better still). I hope you escape Arkansas one day man. Lol my life improved significantly when I moved to a more accepting (and bigger/more fun) city.

[@soapymargherita]

This situation is bullshit, obviously. But I really appreciate how you can talk about literally any topic and make it entertaining, you always make me laugh dude. Also that men's room with the exposed toilet is a literal nightmare I've had before and I didn't realise they really existed.

[@bostonterrier2976]

Everyone please report if you get the weird transphobic hate ad youtube somehow allows on this.

[@bevishhh]

WHAT THE HECKIN’ HECK IS THAT BATHROOM DESIGN!? BAN THAT!!

[@rye3752]

European here. I've been in situations where the gender boundaries aren't hold onto anymore in very crowded situations (it's usually the women's bathroom due to less places to urinate and more need to do said thing) and literally nobody cared. It was to get a job done, nothing more, nothing less, and nobody really cared about anyone else, as far as they washed their hands. It is ENTIRELY a Rebulican problem, one solely produced by them. If someone REALLY wants to protect people who are vulnerable: Make bathrooms safer. There are options that do not harm the very same vulnerable people. I'd love them. I'm disabled and in desperate need of hygienic and safe toilets, since I have never a choice when or where to use a bathroom (while cis men are the ones with the most choices how to handle this business). But this? Absolutely ain't it.

[@GenerationWhyMe]

Needing to pee is a bad enough feeling. It doesn't need to come with a panic attack

[@Chaos-._]

I'm cisgender and I get anxiety from going into restrooms, I can't imagine how a trans person must feel..

[@theeviljames]

Dude, you handled that like a total gentleman. I'm AMAB, Masc, and I'd react the same way if I needed a stall

[@oIy__y]

​@@stephenholland4441no, we didnt have "no gender at birth" at some point in the womb you have both hence why they assign one at birth. Medical school is hard but worth it my guy

[@oIy__y]

Also, saying you cant call a girl "dude" just shows how fragile your idea of gender is. You can call everone dude, a girl, a guy, an animal, etc...

[@stephenholland4441]

@@oIy__yGender begins at conception. There is no "assigning at birth". 🙄

[@oIy__y]

@@stephenholland4441 interesting. What do you consider "conception"?

[@littlewingmyoho]

A million years ago lol I was at a club and in a busy bathroom ful o women when someone said see that girl well she's a guy ....no-one gave a shit in any way

[@lorrygoth]

This is why I only use uni/family bathrooms. That sucks so much, so sorry you had to go through that trauma and anxiety 😢

[@KaitLynnHt]

This is why Ohio needs to dump our current bathroom bills. Luckily at the gym, I am allowed to use whatever locker room I am most comfortable in, but I had originally planned on not using the men's locker room until after my top surgery because I didn't want my tits to make the other dudes uncomfortable. But I'm looking more and more masculine now and I'm starting to get startles from women in the locker room. I've started using men's restrooms but I'm sort of torn on what locker/shower room to use. Women are not going to want a bald, bearded, obv masculine individual in the women's room. Like Ty said, these bills don't take trans men into account. It may seem to them like it's fine to force trans women into the men's room, but when trans men have to use the women's room, you know all hell is going to break loose.

[@SIC647]

In my country, public pools offer shower loincloths to men who are uncomfortable being all naked (but they are still required to wash their privates before entering the pool). It is a front flap and a back flap tied around the waist. You could use one of those and if anyone asks chalk it up to religious beliefs or weird anxiety. Of course it works best if your top surgery scars aren't visible.

[@KaitLynnHt]

@@SIC647 the top is more worrying to me. Luckily every public shower I've been in has shower stalls, and I wouldn't mind scars showing... But I'm pre top surgery and I can change in a stall, but there would be times either my bare breasts or an obvious attempt to cover or hide them would be extremely noticable. But I really like the loincloth idea. I'll have to prepare something like that in case I'm ever in a shared shower room situation. At least until I can achieve bottom surgery. I've never been a modest person, Im just always worried about making other people feel uncomfortable.

[@dreamcanvas5321]

As a cis man, I've occasionally used the women's bathroom if there's no other option. Typically in that situation, women who are around are actually quite helpful, they'll check if anyone's in there etc. to avoid a misunderstanding etc. Also, some bathrooms are ESPECIALLY pointlessly gendered! Like single-occupancy bathrooms should just always be all-gender bathrooms. :eyeroll: I'm grateful that when I really have to go, and there's not a men's room available for me for some reason...there's generally a no-drama solution available. It's not a hard problem to fix, and it makes me sad and angry to see so many trans and non-binary folks I know given so much nonsense over something that's so straightforward "hey pretty much everybody likes privacy when using the bathroom"

[@andreacook7431]

If an uncomfortable-looking man came into the women's room, said that the toilet in the men's room was broken, and wasn't acting creepy, I'd figure he'd just needed to 💩 and let him do his thing.

[@group555_]

Yeah but the issue the loud minority that will scream r*pist immediately and make another case of a trans women going into the bathroom to do assaults. Which can then be cherrypicked for misinformation

[@AdaminTranzit]

@@group555_ I hate that so mcuh aas a asexualk man with asexual men friends. NOT ALL MEN ARE SEXUAL, BEING SEXUAL ISNT MANLY

[@bevishhh]

YOU ARE LIKE PAPA 😭😭😭 Fr though this really sucks, it super sucks you don’t feel comfortable to pee in public (restrooms, lol) anymore in general and it super sucks this was such an uncomfortable experience for you. It’s really nice that there were good people in the bathroom with you, most people are good but it’s hard to remember that, I imagine especially when we really need to pee and there’s nowhere safe to go!

[@HeatherCadieux]

Seamless ad integration 😙👌

[@paulmenard6255]

I really appreciate you sharing this story. My experience with Trans people is, admittedly, limited. Very few of the transpeople I know fall into the 'passing' category so my empathy for them comes from me being able to see and visualize their discomfort. I have not been able to conceptualize the full range of fear and anxiety inherent in the Trans experience. This story has broadened my perspective and I am better for having heard it. Thank you for sharing yourself.

[@Haferkoko]

This is insane... I'm so glad here in Europe (Italy) I as a 10 year on T guy can just use whatever bathroom is free if the men's bathroom is either broken, occupied or they failed to upkeep it in whatever way. Without having to worry about getting arrested.

[@CiaraOSullivan1990]

But America has "freedom", unlike here in Europe where we all live in third world communist dictatorships with evil ideas like free healthcare. 😁