Ricky Gervais XFM - Series 3 Episode 10

3. January 2004
Karl can't get the original album version of "Love Will Tear Us Apart". He's back from his visit from "Lanzagrotty" and decides it's made up of 36 volcanoes that should be filled in with cement. Karl finally reads "The Guvna" which is actually in order this time. The gang wonder how barometers work and comment on the rather nervous looking daughter on the cover of the calendar. Finally, they're also clueless on China.

[@STIRofSOULS]

I love the film thing Karl does because even though Ricky's voice is faded down you can still hear him giggle. Love these guys

[@kylejoseph6416]

I wonder what Steve Merchant thinks of Martin Freeman now that he's in the Hobbit.

[@GooglyEyedJoe]

Kyle Joseph I bet Steve actually loved the LOTR, it's like you see that one person who lies to fit in "Oh yeah what about all those little nerds haha such losers" then when they're at home alone they're playing World of Warcraft xD

[@Anxiathy]

Joey Lock Just because he looks like something from Middle Earth... lol

[@FiveSigma72]

+Ron Perlman Yeah he's like Gollums head on an Ent.

[@joemack13]

Love listening for Ricky's faint laughter during Karl's film bit

[@toenail12345]

love steves laugh when he's told 'egg'

[@HayleyDrawsThings]

"Last one to the moon's a bender"... Gets me everytime !! And rickys laughter in the background of planet of the apes is priceless!!!! xD

[@TheTerrorUforgot]

LotR will outlast anything Merchant or Gervais create....but I think Karl will be remembered forever. O hail thee, Great Baldy Orangey One!

[@akay0000]

TheTerrorUforgot Play a record.

[@gibbs7444]

+akayakay play two records

[@SkandiaAUS]

By far the BEST thing about "Karl's film thing" is muted Ricky losing his shit in the background, I love it, everything they do.

[@HayleyDrawsThings]

Its better to see him dancing and singing 'Jump' .... Love it

[@TheBestUserEU]

"What did you learn" "Well nothing it was all in Spanish" MY SIDES

[@GrooveScorpion]

LOOOL I love Ricks laugh

[@DrummerTurner]

I must say, the Cumbria (Keswick) pencil museum is truly awe-inspiring.

[@Johnh7390]

"Well nothing it was in Spanish." - Karl Pilkington (Genius)

[@Fungle-]

Thanks for the heads up man

[@simonrider6928]

"20 offers of marriage... does that annoy ya steve?" hahahhaha

[@TheMiniSmith]

I have learnt more from karl in all of these episodes than i have in my entire time in school.

[@Jakebicchieri]

'Look at the shine on that, look at the gleam.'

[@TruthThanks]

I love the uploaded description

[@PaperMoonMedia]

Fully agree, bravo!!

[@momohLBY]

Karl is too good for this world

[@HayleyDrawsThings]

So the snake stuck its thing into a beaver....okayyy....^_^ love these 3...

[@stoox006]

Thanks for posting a description under each clip. Great effort! I've listened to all of them on my ipod, so it's really helpful to know which one of them it is.

[@tescosbarsboys]

what did you learn , well nothing it was all in spancih ahah love it !

[@gluetubeserver]

this is public service, i lost my collection thanks you poster, also love the descriptions

[@prnfl]

totally agree about jackson's LOTR, adapted from tolkien by two women TOTAL SLUSH

[@nudgexs]

"just keep a couple, fill the rest in, tidy it up" :D

[@IBiteThings]

"Twenty marriage proposals.... does that annoy you, Steve?"

[@noveltybobel]

Delt A good ram.....Brilliant.

[@shanebrown1544]

12 years ago... I'm commenting so you can come back

[@SleeplessAnarchist]

Clicked on a random spot on the time line just for shits and giggles...first words that came out, "lesbian Chinese fellas". And this is why I love these three men.

[@jackpilkington8297]

Hahaha. Community service, keeping Karl from going on holiday for two hours a week.

[@JW93581]

I love Steve pretending he doesn't like Lotr... You know damn well he spent most of his childhood imagining he was Strider...

[@denverm4x]

Last one to the moon's a bender!

[@ChronicKane]

Couldn't of said it better myself.

[@nomnom112]

define talent.

[@DragosTheGod]

Last one to the moons a bender!

[@MagusMirificus]

There are also archers, catapults, huge flocks of evil, intelligent crows, and loads of other shit that could easily knock an Eagle out of the sky. It really boils down to three things

[@MagusMirificus]

And my point about artillery still stands. The fact of the matter is, their only hope of succeeding was if Sauron didn't know they were coming, because if he did, then it becomes a battle of nine versus nine-million. If they got on the eagles at the beginning of the journey, they would be seen. If they coordinated with the eagles so that one would meet them outside Mordor, they would have to get there first, and the story goes the same way. Who knows, maybe that was Gandalf's plan, originally.

[@BethanyGordon1992]

Egg! Ahahaha, makes me laugh every time!

[@JSCwrd]

"The gleam!"

[@natalie21178]

31:00 lmao @ "Frieda"

[@Mecynorrhina]

37:55 Last one to the moon's a bender!

[@pokemon4year12]

You, sir... Are a Clint Eastwood.

[@SlickGinoRomano]

I absolutely love Lord of the Rings. But I still love Steve and Ricky :)

[@Apertravel]

The gleam!

[@TheTerrorUforgot]

Summary of Karl: " I learn all the time. Like that one time I was on vacation and watched Discovery." R: "What did you learn?" KP: "Nothin'." MIND = BLOW

[@ValkyrieDaisy95]

"GLEAM!!" xD!

[@Lolzer626]

"Who's watching this tripe?" Stephen, evidently -_-

[@maiacookieharlowunicorn1151]

Ziggy stardust and the spiders from Mars. ..

[@Marasma101]

He's really talented. People need to give him credit for that. He is not a stupid man.

[@Fungle-]

17 academy awards beg to differ.

[@MsBecky1989]

I love to see the birth of Ricky's jokes. The Chinese woman 20.30

[@Welshsaint74]

Steve's laugh at 36:19 when Ricky tells him that Karl said Egg is hilarious!

[@Wankle.]

Hate to brake it to you but that’s a fake laugh

[@Wankle.]

@@user-el1ud9mg8v yeah I mean after probably 4000 hours of listening and 8 years I’m pretty sure I can tell Steve’s fake laugh

[@MisterAlexUk]

Three movies about people walking to a fuckin' volcano!

[@benjib00]

"Look at the gleam on that"

[@KevinAndrewRea]

Holy shit am I the only one who noticed and finds it insane that in this podcast from 2004 in which they completely rip Lord of the Rings...right after they switch the topic at 34:25 that Ricky starts talking about spending New Years Eve with Karl and Martin Freeman (who is now playing Bilbo Baggins in the Hobbit coming out in a few days). LMAO!

[@Sheppy99]

Love Ricky but man I can barely hear Stephen and Karl so I have to turn it up but then Ricky will start laughing and wake my neighbours lol

[@crafty192]

What makes me laugh is just after moaning for ages about Lord of the Rings, Martin Freeman is mentioned, the man playing Bilbo in the Hobbit XD

[@JoshdotD]

Haha someone's in love with Frodo

[@mat24486]

The Lord of The Rings trilogy is fucking awesome!

[@weves87]

Freeman is the Hobbit now. Irony.

[@MagusMirificus]

Gandalf was able to drive away ONE Nazgul at Minas Tirith, on the ground. Also, you could probably argue that he was only able to do that because he was Gandalf The White at that point, which he wouldn't be if they hadn't gone through Moria and encountered the Balrog. As powerful as Gandalf The Grey is, I don't see how he could have lasted fighting all Nine of them, in the air. I mean, what even counts as driving them off up there? If he did, they would be back in about five minutes.

[@latuea]

does that annoy you Steve?! Haha!

[@Zrashy]

44:50 for "Look at that gleam!"-story.

[@TheChrislee110]

Anyone else fall asleep to thesse

[@shplem]

I wonder how Ricky and Steve feel about Martin Freeman playin the hobbit after slagging off LOTR

[@themartin3399]

Imagine Karl doing the moonwalk

[@aaronjmcc1]

anyone else hear ricky in the background laughing at 54mins!??

[@cokedaz]

Indoor fireworks were the stupidest thing ever.

[@mwillis1000]

Tolkien was much more intelligent than not only Ricky and Steven but most of the people who have ever listened to this podcast, and his books were so deep and he put so much effort and time into them. He did also create his own languages too. Also, do they like Star trek? Because thats more nerdy than lotr, and its not anywhere near the level of lotr, because lotr's depth is so much larger than star trek or anything else really. And to top it off, tolkien was a war hero. Love this podcast tho.

[@akay0000]

57:13 Ricky's take at fake Spanish is uncanny.

[@zegh8578]

an egg is very much "animal", if its fertilized, an increasing percentage of the egg is a living animal, eventually only the shell remains, and the whole thing is a chicken. Unfertilized it is still organic material, including a placenta (the yolk), right from the birds womb. You could say an egg in the supermarket is simply a dead/killed living thing.

[@freshlineproductions]

Calm down he didn't even take a biology gcse exam haha

[@MagusMirificus]

1)Sauron and his servants would be able to see the eagles, and probably could kill them. 2)The eagles don't really give a shit, don't take orders from anyone, and wouldn't risk their lives for outsiders. Every time they save people it's either by accident or when they're not put in danger. 3)"Once upon a time, some people got on big birds and dropped a piece of jewelry into a volcano." What an entertaining piece of entertainment that was. But meta-arguments are less fun.

[@joesoap81]

Pretty Ironic that Martin Freeman from the office is now ''The Hobbit''.

[@DingoNudge]

He must've been thinking of a honey badger surely

[@JaxBlade]

Steve You're fuckin mad man

[@ChristopherPoirierVoiceActor]

I was just thinking that...

[@ringodooby]

karls mental, he talks rubbish but he's real. He's someone who doesnt want to be famous, if ricky and steve didnt force him into talking he'd never be anything but a producer. i love seeing him being put into situations he hates and watching him complain about everything, an idiot abroad is the most original travel show ever, pure genius

[@MagusMirificus]

True, but there are numerous other problems. Firstly, the Eagles are their own nation, and only save Gandalf as a personal favor to him. Other than that, they want as little to do with the war as possible. It's debatable whether or not they'd even touch the ring, much less carry it. Also, when do Sam and Frodo get on the Eagle? At Rivendell, so they don't have to walk the whole way? Flying over most of a continent on a giant bird, while nine undead demons riding dragons are patrolling the land?

[@kocici_tata]

Well he's kind of right. If you're a Ricky Gervais fan, you've most probably seen The Office and Martin Freeman played the second most important character in that series. But it doesn't make you stupid, that was unnecesarry.

[@ThePontiacBandit911]

46:54 Karl’s parents gave him money for Christmas, and he gives them money for things throughout the year. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@xiPlayzz]

Karl moonwalking :)

[@SpineInABap]

OOOH NOOO. This is worse than when The Dude said he hated The Eagles. I will now have LOTR shame for ever.

[@DrizzyDrayg]

Fact : A scorpion can kill a man and then the beaver right was walking around with a snake in its mouth.

[@alanthe2]

They were busy.

[@MegaBangbang25]

any new ones?? mate

[@rockstarrist]

Exactly what I thought when I watched Lord of the Shits.

[@ryanleexuanhao]

Hi

[@Fungle-]

To each their own I suppose

[@jquixlo]

How can you hate something not forced on you?

[@cartmanofsp]

''Scorpions an'that.''

[@khajiit92]

they actually did the soul weighing thing with a dying person....(obviously they didn't take everything into account and the it can be explained properly now, but still)

[@ryanhancock1234]

lol....I know I quite enoyed the books.

[@baskingblackbird]

1 in 10 out of 1 billion = 100 million(!) little chinese fellas.

[@russellpushon]

cant believe you are debating it publicly

[@Azimio]

IF IT GOES CLOCKWISE, IT BE A BOY

[@hydro936]

that's the pennine version of love will tear us apart I believe

[@MagusMirificus]

Not really, I just enjoy arguing on the internet. Not because I like making people angry (Which is fun, but that's not the point), just because it's good practice at defending my positions.

[@Guineapig321]

Why does it say 2003 when steve (In the Video) said it was 2004

[@Wingless-]

Agreed. I find him funny and clever, but times when he gets legitimately frustrated or candid he just comes across as very, very petty and self conscious.

[@webbess1]

Are Ricky and Steve seriously suggesting that air pressure has nothing to do with weather?