Funniest Joke I Ever Heard Show 2 Victor Borge

[@panther105]

We need more gentle humor like this.

[@aaronweinberg3543]

I installed his telephone system in Greenwich CT. about 1975, He sat me down and performed for me and my partner. Extremely nice guy.

[@dawnbohl6697]

I read about Victor having a late night discussion with violinist Izaak Perlman about whether the violin or the piano is the better instrument. VB claimed that not only is the piano better, it is more versatile because he can use it to tell time. IP challenged him to prove it. VB walked over to the piano in his hotel suite and began to play a rather loud selection. Immediately, they heard a man shout from the next suite, "Don't you know it's 2 o'clock in the morning!?!"

[@RonnieFry]

I had the pleasure of being on stage with Victor in Ottawa, Canada. A few of us were seated on stage with him, I was not alone. He was wonderful, classical, incredibly talented and funny. A true gentleman in all respects. I miss him to this day.

[@patriciagraham222]

Lucky, Lucky you! Victor was exceptional.

[@JS-ob4oh]

Had the pleasure of going to see him perform as a comedian and musician. His timing with his monologue and his piano playing was perfect. To this day, whenever I listen to Clair de Lune, I think of that evening when he played it to perfection.

[@chrisarseneault5617]

Simple honest and clean cut jokes. Those were the days.

[@margaretjiantonio939]

I saw him in concert. There was never a dull moment. I loved his sound effects on punctuation marks.

[@TheMichaelBeck]

Yes! That routine is a classic. He was amazing.

[@georgeisaak5321]

When intelligence and humor meet together people like Viktor Borge appear ! Pretty rare

[@rainday6]

I had the great honor to meet him twice, the second time for a long chat and interview. Both times he was gracious, warm, genuinely friendly, accommodating, and funny as heck. He also put on an incredible performance. The last time was like visiting a family member and we sat down for 45 minutes post-performance and covered life, the universe, and everything. My friend took an entire roll of pics, too. Sadly, the film was corrupt and not one single image came out. Mr. Borge was gone a few months later.

[@DeborahHart-xq6ud]

Oh! My! Disappointments like that are💔ing. I’m so sorry 😔 ( I too had a roll of 🎞️‘lost’…{too bad too}…it was a whole roll [long lens] of the ’Governator’ of CA himself…Arnold💪🏻…oogling 😵‍💫my ‘Sundress’ summer cleavage 😳 Staring delightedly 😜 (🤤ing a little) & totally unaware that I could see his big (happy) dumb face 😁 A ‘score’…right?😃 🤨Wrong: “Sorry I can’t find your pictures Lady 🤷🏻‍♀️ …the ’LAB’ must’ve lost ‘em. 😳🤦🏻‍♀️😤) I, too was privileged to see Mr. Borge perform live…he was so funny & generous with his audience.🤩 A dear man💗 & a One of a kind talent 4 sure. 😊🙏🏻✝️

[@jackeaffe]

Ein wunderbarer Mensch, ein Genie, der Scherze gemacht hat, als die "ernste Musik" noch "ernst" war. Er nimmt sich selbst auf den Arm, macht mit tollen Musikern tolle Sachen und er war der Vorreiter für viele, die Musik auch humoristisch sehen. Ein ganz liebevoller und liebenswerter Mensch ist er gewesen!!!

[@hildegardderbal5908]

Genau so ist es.

[@dareisnogod5711]

Are you sure?

[@Kimllg88]

one of the warmest memories of my childhood.

[@crlguitar1]

What a wonderfully talented human being AND comedian.... He always brought happiness to anybody who watched or listened to him. He was also a classic music genius too!

[@cynthiaennis3107]

6 String Fan so very true! Such a delight!

[@bernlin2000]

Just the way he emotes is awesome, entertaining in every part of him, extraordinary.

[@georgemartin4963]

A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "I'm sorry, we don't serve food" Bada bump deesh.....

[@lydiaanderson3462]

@Hello George how are you doing

[@johnnytheyoungmaestro]

This was so funny! Made me laugh quite a bit! :)

[@Martin-iv6lq]

Your mom walks into a bar and starts to proposition all the male patrons again. No joke.

[@GK-ec5df]

A pengolin and a bat walk into a bar and the bartender says, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve Corona in here.”

[@PetroicaRodinogaster264]

a piece of string walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. The bartender says, “ we don’t serve string in here, get out” The string goes out side, throws himself on the ground and wriggles and twists around a bit. Then he gets up, goes back into the bar and asks for a whiskey. The bartender looks at him and says “aren’t you that piece of string I told to get out ?” “No”, says the string, “I’m afraid (a frayed) (k)not! “

[@tomfroekjaer]

He was playing at a concert in Sweden as Denmark was invaded by the Nazis. Being a Jew he knew he could not return to Denmark so he escaped to the US via Finland. But he never forgot his Danish heritage. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_Borge

[@rocketpost1]

Just love Victor, he was a total one-off. "Was it you or your brother who died ?". Superb stuff. That sketch with the opera singer Marilyn Mulvey always makes me laugh where Victor keeps telling her to take her hands off the piano. A forgotten genius.

[@lukefowler9740]

Isn't it a shame that these big fat opera singers always lean against pianos and bend them? With their heavy arias...

[@yunnaot]

Fun fact, the "Was it you or your brother who died?" is in an ancient Greek book called Philogelos. So it's one of the world's oldest known jokes basically.

[@pauljordan4452]

@@yunnaot The oldest written joke is a fart joke from Ancient Egypt. This has never happened before: a newly married woman would never fart in her husband's lap.

[@deborahduthie4519]

A brilliant pianist. A real treat to watch when he made TV show appearances and all he said seemed so natural and off the cuff. A very funny gentleman.

[@avapearson5149]

I love this Man! He has always been a funny guy as well as a great pianist

[@kalmanbekesi5980]

Funny how?

[@JS-ob4oh]

A very talented, funny and great entertainer. Whenever he came to town to do a live show, I always go watch him. His talent on the piano was amazing, when he plays Clair De Lune I feel as if I was transported to a different plane of existence.

[@davidskerritt9530]

This man had us in stitches when we were kids. Fantastic

[@eminusipi]

One of the best jokes from him was "I have five children, one of each."

[@cynthiaennis3107]

Knob Tweaker yes!

[@AllanMDodd]

Another similar one : "In Denmark we have 3 sexes - male, female and convertible." Brilliant pianist and comedian, we will not see his like again, a one-off.

[@altracy252]

The funny thing is, that would apply in today's woke Society.

[@eminusipi]

@@altracy252 I first heard him do this joke back in the '70s or '80s. He was the modern Nostradamus.😁

[@eminusipi]

@@altracy252 I would classify "woke" as an oxymoron.🤔

[@bhartley868]

I love when he was introduced as THE GREAT DANE .

[@SusanRasmussenxit1]

I loved watching Victor Borge. So humourous and very talented indeed.

[@mattcornes51]

Hello Susan, How are you doing?

[@minotaurbison]

This guy made my childhood so much better. Dang shame I never got to see him in person. He really was God's gift to the world

[@lolitahaze02]

He was born too early. Sigh.

[@pierredongol91]

nah he was born at the right time , nothing beats these times when morals were everything @@lolitahaze02

[@therealzilch]

Ah. a breath of the very fresh air of Victor Borge. He made the world a funnier place.

[@CarinaParry]

Better than a lot of humour from these days, Victor was a very clever man.

[@mikeh704]

That's a good one, same as the story about asking the person at the airline counter to send your bags to Hong Kong when you are flying to St. Louis, Missouri.

[@drumdad54sdl47]

If you don't own some of his routines on DVD, (even videotape) you need to get some. Wonderfully funny stuff that never gets old. A comedic genius & very talented on the piano as well.

[@TheGoodmusic2011]

I remember seeing him on tv when I was young, in the 1960's. great pianist and always funny. (Clean funny.)

[@stepaushi]

Not always clean.

[@rufust.firefly2474]

@@stepaushi I never heard Victor borga tell a dirty joke but if you did it would probably be hilarious and full of innuendo rather than being blatantly obvious.

[@LaurieWilliams-lk8fc]

@@rufust.firefly2474 Watch the video of him talking about Mozart and why Mozart's wife was not satisfied.

[@soyzworldful]

I miss this man, what a genius!

[@anjou6497]

He was a treasure. I remember his hysterically funny piano playing where he'd suddenly start playing out of tune. 💜👍

[@dagnymaximus9778]

I saw him when I was about 18 years old--super funny and extremely talented musician!

[@badweetabix]

His signature piece, Clair de Lune, is the most beautiful rendition I have ever heard. I've listened to many pianists many consider greats, but Victor Borge plays it best.

[@beatificvision7246]

Yes he is one of the best in the century.

[@user-uf2qc1dc9p]

flattery...will get you everywhere

[@deedeskin2439]

Or, as Borge called it many times, "Clear the Saloon". We knew it was coming, but laughed anyway.😂

[@ACJWJ]

Finally found the piece he's playing at 0:20--it's Ignaz Friedman's Waltz Op. 51 No. 2.

[@andrewolmstead]

THANK YOU SO MUCH AHHHHHHHHHHHH thanks I really appreciate it

[@no288]

i saw him in Copenhagen (Denmark) and he got a standing ovation after the show for about 10 minutes. We would not let him go, and yes he did came back ...what a night!

[@jessicadavenport2808]

I so wish I could have been there. He was an amazing man.

[@RWBHere]

Humour of a calibre which is hard to find nowadays. Both Mr. Borge and his type of humour are sadly missed.

[@oldmanfromscenetwentyfour8164]

What I can't believe is that there are so many people who need the Haircut joke explained to them ...

[@dareisnogod5711]

Ah, the 50s & Victor Borge. In many ways, the best years of the 20th century.

[@michaeljayklein500]

Victor Borge (I'm pretty sure) was the first act to open the first casino in Atlantic City--I was there and he was wonderful. Great joke too!

[@mudchair16]

I'm glad they opened that casino. It has led to AC becoming a thriving commun.. wait, nevermind.

[@jamesscanlon5969]

@@mudchair16 A great joke then, and still a great joke now, hundreds of years later.

[@alanfite333]

Always great humor and a bit of a sneaky smile too.😇😏😎

[@RIXRADvidz]

at age 5, I was given piano lessons, at age 7 when I first saw Mr. Borge, I discovered there was a lot more 'play' in playing the piano, it made me love what I was doing, scales and counting and all.

[@rudytoth]

One of the funniest things he ever done was the punctuation noise stunt on stage reading from a book too.

[@rudytoth]

@Annie Romanowski Yes I remember that too. He sure was comical in adding words to things that didn't exist. Like around here. 😁

[@naturalroyalflush]

I had forgotten about that. Now I can see him and hear him...especially when there was extended punctuation, all those funny sounds.

[@albazamora1767]

I love him! Great jokes! Pure class! A genius!

[@barbarawilson958]

He was always so charming and very funny and a talented piano player

[@ysplse]

priceless bloke genuine genius so privileged to see him live

[@drumdad54sdl47]

I was also privileged to see him.. in Kalamazoo MI in the 90s.

[@LP-zr1ep]

I was lucky to see him here in NZ ,,,

[@MrJdsenior]

I've never heard him play anything that far through. This guy was amazingly funny. RIP

[@stefanpolanszky7326]

P

[@Zerbey]

His act usually included a few songs played straight, often Danish folk songs.

[@MrJdsenior]

@@Zerbey Cool, I don't remember seeing that in any of the four or five recorded concerts I've seen, but it wouldn't surprise me. They may also have not recorded the complete shows that were presented those nights. One of the funnier guys out there though, overall, MHO.

[@johnflukes5175]

Jj no

[@MooPotPie]

Here you go . . . . kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z56ze2aeopuAa6s

[@michel031257]

love to see one being told to tell one joke does about 47 in this short clip! :-) what a brilliant man!

[@joannoneill2531]

He was a real class act. I enjoyed many a good laugh with him.

[@MrSimon6356]

Nice - the old stuff will never die.

[@beverleykorte1832]

True

[@AECJ1]

Still have to hear from him when I get a chance. Great musician and personality Victor

[@principalpercussion]

Played concerts with him mant times over many years and he was always funny and truly a fine Pianist !!

[@cynthiaennis3107]

Herbert Baker how wonderful for you both!

[@mikewoodson6930]

Herbert Baker I hope this message finds you well. You must have many great stories? It’s been 7 years, hope you respond.

[@Olm9]

@@mikewoodson6930 I somehow feel the same way.. Imagine performing with mr. Victor Borge ❤

[@Nine-Signs]

People like Victor make me wish technology was more advanced so that when the body goes the mind can live on somewhere virtually. We lose so much talent and knowledge.

[@LeoCoot]

A LEGEND !

[@myeolm_2]

찐

[@annierosebud]

I saw this great man live at Saint David's Hall in Cardiff, South Wales, UK. I had always admired his genius as a musician, one who could 'turn his hand to any piece of music', make some sort of seeming dis-order of a piece because he had it upside down or whatever, then Hey Presto'. Always gave a tantalising glimpse of the original !! He's a true genius, a true gentleman and I will never forget him. xx

[@Dave5843-d9m]

Dave Allen told the dead brother joke way back in the 1970s. He also mentioned the the Irish greeting “hello is it yourself”. Meaning “are you feeling at you best”. .

[@eddiepolo6047]

Dave Allen ain't that special.... That joke is from at least the 4th century b.c. It's first known appearance is in the greek book "Philogelos".

[@Mr_Dancy_Pants]

I came expecting a joke, but ended up with a great Dane.

[@tomwilliams8295]

TOP NOTCH COMEDY from Mr. Borge !!!

[@TheMichaelBeck]

A man in a wheelchair goes into a walk-in clinic. And he's promptly thrown out.

[@kathrynmolesa1641]

Loved watching Victor on tv. He and Liberace made the piano watchable.

[@djhrecordhound4391]

...and Chico Marx didn't...? 😉

[@markwatters6875]

Brilliant man. Thanks for the dance.

[@grammybear4226]

🐼 Big Bear Hugs from a 67 yr old grandma in Kirby, Texas, USA 🐼...

[@smeyer2964]

FUNNY; and with a CLEAN MOUTH !!!!

[@andretorres202]

That is what she said! :P

[@bangersmash1566]

unlike the rest of you Fuckers!

[@brunodelconte]

He could certainly teach some of our Australian "comedians" a lesson on that point.

[@VestigialHead]

@@brunodelconte As if having a clean mouth is a virtue.

[@rufust.firefly2474]

It is if you want to keep your teeth!

[@johnferguson8993]

To be able to keep going with all of that humour and odd-ball accompaniment is absolutely brilliant. A very funny performance.

[@peterherman4310]

I don't know which came first, but this is essentially the same joke as: Man goes into a restaurant, tells the server: "I'd like 2 eggs, whites runny, yolks hard. Two pieces of toast raw in the middle and burnt on the edges. Coffee cold and OJ with seeds." Server: "I can't do that, sir!" Man: "Why? you did it yesterday!" I love Victor Borge!

[@lydiaanderson3462]

@Hello Peter how are you doing

[@peterherman4310]

@@lydiaanderson3462 Doing good Lydia thanks! Hope you are too.

[@lydiaanderson3462]

@@peterherman4310 I’m good thanks for asking I hope we can get to know each other and can you suggest a way we can talk off here if you don’t mind

[@kenhaley4]

Victor Borge: One of the greatest. I love his "Inflationary Language" bit, as well as his "phonetic punctuation". Guaranteed to make you laugh out loud, if you have any sense of humor at all.

[@rudytoth]

Same wavelength look at my comment.

[@timmccaffrey1326]

Lovely stuff from what seems like a hundred years ago now.......great gentleman.

[@yugandali]

He's way ahead of his time! That kind of haircut is very popular now.

[@ploopybear]

lmao nice

[@pernormann4869]

I'm not a big fan of V Borge, but he definitely had his moments. My favourite is when he walks up on stage, silently, stands in front of the microphone for a minute. Then puffs out cigar smoke and gently coughs. Gets me every time I see it.

[@assmatronix]

Per Normann how can anyone not be a fan of Victor Borge?

[@henrikhyrup3995]

.....and then saying "I stopped smoking 15 years ago. Must still be some left in there."

[@manueljaggi]

...and then saying "chinese food"

[@Shenorai]

@@henrikhyrup3995 Another punchline I know he used with the smoke was, "I'm a little short on breath. It's been a long day and I was breathing the whole time!"

[@billeybop]

I just realized we must have had the same barber! hahaha

[@lovisblue]

I am now 67 & love him even more Handsome witty talented & always made people laugh Was living in St Thomas when he was mugged on Syngogue hill.He has a forgiving nature.. He is a real survivor of many tragedys'

[@BaccarWozat]

"Category: Autos & Vehicles". Sounds about right. He could have played a piano down the street, made elaborate hand signals for turning, and worn the seat belt he usually kept in his piano stool.

[@daman7387]

makin my way downtown

[@fordkeitzer47]

da man m J

[@pauljordan4452]

@@daman7387 Exactly! 😄

[@PleaseNThankYou]

My mother always made sure we were well rounded in our knowledge so she had us sit and watch Mr. Borga as he instructed us in the importance of proper puntuation. I kid you not, this is how I first learned my lessons. My teachers were impressed in first grade but not so much after that.

[@ajgrant94]

This man's piano playing on Charlie Brown Christmas defines my life. For 60 years it has mesmerized me.

[@Bonzman]

He said once, 'I met two ladies, the were a mother and daughter, it was hard to tell them apart because they both looked really old' 😂😂😂

[@LaurieWilliams-lk8fc]

Very un PC - like something Rodney Dangerfield would have said.

[@denisesalles7248]

He was so great! And so talented!

[@charleswills4554]

I always enjoyed his piano playing ,as far as im concerned there was no one better.And funny he always made me laugh.

[@cynthiaennis3107]

My family just loved him! He’s so funny & cute! We loved his routines!

[@jystme2437]

You know when they ask who would you love to have dinner with??well this is the man I fell in love with💯💯 him 💙the music the humor the man 🥀🦋

[@juliemacandrews1434]

what a bloke, what a funny man.... gorgeous.... what a shame he's gone......xx

[@srnordli]

I loved this man’s talent!

[@johnw2026]

I used his barber one time. Never went back. 🙂

[@ronbeam6893]

The definition of kind class.

[@paulineshields5918]

Zi am so lucky to be able to see these entertainers .

[@thecurtray]

+Pauline Shields maybe they are lucky you chose to show up also.

[@elliottsims5917]

@@thecurtray l

[@Questor-ky2fv]

Thanks for posting this. He was a great entertainer, and always made me laugh! I'm so sorry he's gone.

[@st.charlesstreet9876]

One of the Best Comedians and One of the Most Intelligent Men I have ever seen. MGBY Victor!

[@wholeNwon]

"The Great Dane".

[@1atomicblond1]

Very talented and funny man. May he Rest in Peace.

[@LenHummelChannel]

love Victor. he was a unique and wonderful talent.

[@shielajarvis8977]

He was truly one of the funniest man ever!

[@nanceebee42]

A class act, very unique

[@stigekalder]

Hi all, I have some rare footage with Victor Borge - recorded in his native country Denmark. He partly speaks Danish, but I have applied English subtitles for those parts. This is the playlist (Enjoy!): kzbin.info/aero/PLCby7t-aPVUksdwJPSy7ov7-tHibgxC4h

[@neilmccann5826]

Saw him in concert once in Chicago. Great talent. However the barber joke is a variation of Henny Youngman's joke at the airline counter; "I wasnt one suitcase to go to Miami, 1 to Philadelphia, and 1 to Rome" ......."you did it last month !"

[@bernlin2000]

God I wish I could have met this man. Diamond in the rough. 🌟

[@lemans3507]

Kid: mommy mommy daddy just threw up. Mom: oh my God what should we do? Kid: give me a spoon cause jr.is eating all the big pieces.

[@Kent-qo6xp]

Victor was very,very accomplished

[@gkw9882]

Any one remember his joke about: why do they put three pedals on pianos? He said 'who do they think I am?'

[@johntao6822]

THAT is the funniest joke. Thanks!

[@billkonrad3366]

One of the worlds truly funny men.

[@flyingcarpet99]

He is really gorgeous - thank you for posting it ;-))

[@bepisthebenis5111]

Christine Henninger *borgeous

[@bignoseharry6561]

@@bepisthebenis5111 lol.

[@kellygervais3440]

Awww Victor, never missed one of his tv specials growing up..

[@daveluttinen2547]

I saw him perform in Miami, Florida in July, 1995. It was the concert of a lifetime and one of my fondest memories.

[@philhand5830]

Thank heavens for digital remastering!

[@giuseppegambino3514]

Grazie ,,Grande Maestro,,,,per il suo buonumore,,,,sempre,,,