Funny & illuminating story about Temper Tantrums - Jordan Peterson

[@johndouglas2752]

Man just look at how enthusiastically he answered that young man's question around 9:40. And look how enthusiastic the young man was to ask the question and receive feedback. The mark of a great teacher

[@roddydykes7053]

dunquito yeah I love watching the students during his lectures when everyone’s maximally engaged, it’s super inspiring and adds another layer to the depth of the words

[@markdouglas1601]

His rate my professor rating is like 5/5 which is insane

[@Joshh.K]

i noticed that, he put his hands on the back of his head too because the hairs were going up cos it was a good/important question

[@druthvlodovic]

this should be part of every parenting course.

[@snuffsan]

this should be taught in school to everyone

[@0100-m9h]

I have 4 kids. One of my children were holding their breath and a lady in Target was freaking out because I wasn't reacting. She asked why I wasn't doing anything. I said "if he passes out he'll start breathing again". He grew out of that phase very quickly.

[@et5895]

How old was he?

[@kerriwilson7732]

@@et5895 27 and a half. Why?

[@Felipemelazzi]

That was a good decision to do, binary-number-named-person.

[@caitlin5046]

@@kerriwilson7732 😂

[@katiejon17]

This guy blows my mind every time I hear him speak. There's a lot of info that many of us may already know in some manner (certainly not at his level). But he ties it all together and presents it so cleanly that it's so effortless to see the big picture. He's certainly not what I would picture as a college/university professor these days. (

[@erikasmith2885]

He probably would take that as a compliment

[@axiomic]

He's such a valuable talent that I think universities would be falling over themselves to have him.. he would increase attendee ship 100 fold, so they'd just concentrate all their courses on psychology

[@robbiecale3327]

@@axiomic oh god we don't need anymore psychology graduates 😂 he's incredible but I hope he never goes back to teaching at universities for that reason

[@obviousgreyman]

I’ve always thought that as well everything he says is very complex common sense it’s like he just makes things click that you’ve never thought of that way. I think he does an incredible job at turning subconscious things that we know or even ideas we have about how things work and turns them into practicable reality.

[@lauriesyme207]

When I was growing up, my mother ( who was an alcoholic), would have the WORST temper tantrums I've ever seen!! When I Was 19 years old, still living at home, mother had a tantrum one afternoon, I dove under the kitchen table for safety, so did my father! As we were waiting out the storm, I said to my father, "mom's crazy! please do something about it!" He started to scold me, holding a finger up stating that I Was talking about "his wife", I gave him a full on eye roll, without breaking eye contact, I said, "I'll reframe, I said, Your Wife is bat-shit crazy! Please do something about it! We both laughed together, and had to get quiet because the tyrant heard us laughing, and that was NOT ok...so, what to do when 1 parent is having a toddler like tantrum, and the other parent allows it? My father died many year ago, and I've had to forgive him for being weak. For not keeping me safe, emotionally safe during my life. How stressful that was. Sorry, just had to respond.

[@easybullet3]

So sorry to hear about that Laurie. Thanks for sharing a personal story about your life. I hope you grow up to be the person your parents weren't able to be ;)

[@jamaldapimp1235]

Laurie Syme don’t blame your father for being weak not everyone knows exactly what there doing his parents were most likely the same way, and also there parents. You can’t blame your parents for your troubles without blaming there parents with there troubles and so on.

[@chelseymathers2009]

@@jamaldapimp1235 that's not a reasonable thing to say. He chose to have parents, but didn't choose to work on the skills he needed to protect his child.

[@callmehoncho3366]

Chelsey Mathers I understand not everyone can be a good person, but she probably tried ppl make mistakes.

[@winggoddess]

I also had an alcoholic parent who threw tantrums. I think alcohol brings out this immaturity. If anyone wants to be a good parent, they should choose not to consume alcohol or drugs, because once addicted, you lose control of yourself and do things you normally wouldn't do. I'll never drink alcohol for this reason, and also because it's an unnecessary expense, harms the health, and tastes bad anyway.

[@TheMilwaukeeProtocol]

I'm studying to be a special education teacher with an emphasis on functional behavior analysis, and we studied Skinner, of course, and, in my opinion, everything Peterson says and did with his child are spot-on. This guy is a rockstar at helping and navigating humans.

[@annah5592]

Skinner was a monster but his studies were spot on, of course. However you need to take care when laying any kind of blame on a kids provocative behaviour when it comes to real physical child abuse, which usually occurs when the child is fearfully well behaved. He has one thing right. It is surprising how many people dislike their kids, and when you include step fathers that figure sky rockets.

[@marcelbenner993]

If you are still on YT, would you mins answering two or three questions I've got in regards to educating or disciplining children? Thanks in advance :)

[@TheMilwaukeeProtocol]

@@annah5592 That's an extremely good point. I'm constantly having to remind myself, "What's happening at home that trained this kid to act like this?" We shouldn't be placing blame on people until they're adults and now responsible for their own lives. Until then, it's my responsibility to role model a better way, not the kid's.

[@TheMilwaukeeProtocol]

@@marcelbenner993 You can ask but it might not be good advice. At the end of the day, your decisions are your responsibility. That is my brief disclaimer.

[@ruthirwin8222]

I love how he so obviously loves his wife and children

[@denisewittman975]

This brief talk on temper tantrums is a complete life lesson. I am obsessed with the knowledge he brings. I get it the first time through. Amazing.

[@bn880]

Great. But the really hard part is not "getting" what he says (because he makes it blatantly obvious), the hard part is coming up with this understanding like he does and people before him whom he cites. So if you actually came out and analyzed some behaviour like he did and could share with others, now that would be a huge achievement.

[@markletts2000]

It's good to see JP happy,he's really enjoying giving this class..brilliant ,a joy to watch😊M England..

[@stephenpacania569]

This is my favorite version of Jordan Peterson. It's nice to see him with his guard down and just talk about what he wants to

[@roleat]

i love that he's a parent, and refers to his children for moments of wisdom.

[@MissPopuri]

Piaget referred to much of his own children's temperaments in his studies as well. That's how anyone should start out in science.

[@simonreddyhoff5901]

This is sooo interesting. It's sometimes easy to forget Jordan Peterson is actually a professor, and a bloody good one at it!

[@MisterGreenGuy]

This mans mind is VERY important. One of the greatest philosophers of our time.

[@StephJ0seph]

Of all-time really.

[@not2tees]

He's also very human and relatable as well as being great!

[@seewhyaneyesee]

That last sentence sums up of how to be a good parent, reminds of the quote “Hard times make strong men, Strong men create good times and Good times create weak men.” Something like that. You should not let a child have their way all the time ‘cause if you do so, it can get out of hand pretty quick. I have seen my sis’s kid of similar age throw himself literally off with an arch from someone’s arms, he could have easily broke his head etc but he did that cause he knew he would be caught, I couldn’t imagine a 2 year old kid holding his breath until turning blue, that would break any dear mother but it was her oversight, 20 out of 10 love that caused it in the first place. Always begin to discipline from the start ‘cause only in the beginnings, will words work on your kid and this is not about being too restrictive that they stop expressing themselves to you anymore. Discipline them when they’re out of hand and let them run free at times too, give them your time, be interested in when they express themselves and reason like you would with an adult when they are doing wrong things. I also understand that it is the overflowings of parental emotion that clouds their judgement and those same parents would have a different opinion on a different kid with similar mischievous traits. Watching after my sis’s kid definitely was a learning experience for me and it was funny too, the way he’d go out of control when he didn’t get what he wanted with others but with only me around he was always a good kid and he would be back to a brat ASAP when they came back around and I never hit him or threatened him, just talked to him and let him cry when he was crossing the line. It was surreal to see that change.. it was also during his time I learned that if your child momentarily hurts himself they will copy the emotion of the adult they have been accustomed to... cause this kid would cry in front of others and I would always say “damn you just became stronger!” and he’d dust himself off and go back to whatever he was doing. The only day he would be my master is when he was sick, I’ll never forget carrying him at 4am for 2 hours singingn lullabies and every time I thought he was asleep and put him down he would go “WAAAAH!”😂 poor thing couldn’t go to sleep cause he was in pain😢. Makes me smile that even after a year of absence he still remembers me on video chat. Good times.

[@ronbishop1068]

yes he is a remarkable man-so much of this good sense seems to have been forgotten by modern parents-they want to be the child's friend so find discipline and boundary setting difficult-children feel much more secure with firm boundaries. Interesting idea about not liking ones child-no-one would admit this but it is so true. We had an old Chinese proverb placed on our 'fridge to remind us of these truths " discipline your children before they destroy themselves" Thank you for your courage as well Professor Peterson on the other matters percolating through university life in North America right now.

[@2ears1mouth786]

The last bit of this video is unbelievably important! Really!! I experience this in my life and have done for ages. People think they'd never do anything bad so they never realise what impact they're actually having and how bad that is. Ugh.

[@Felipemelazzi]

Thanks for the highlight. The video was full of memorable lessons so by the end I was still digesting everything together when he says that and the video just ends.

[@SusanBoyceRN]

When mine was little and went through the temper tantrum stage, you could sense she literally was overwhelmed by her own emotions. But I especially did not want her to use those emotions to manipulate, control or purposefully affect other people, or project her frustrations onto others. SO.. I would always say, “It’s ok to feel angry. But it’s not ok to throw a tantrum. When you are angry, go to your room. Your room is your own personal space. You can cry in there, you can let it all out. And when you feel yourself again, you are welcome to come back out, and I will be so happy to see you because I miss you when you’re gone.” Lol There were times she had to go her room several times over the course of one hour when she was age 3 and even into age 4. But, she learned that being upset is normal and ok. But using your emotions to manipulate others is not acceptable. Whew that was a tough age. Growing up is tough on both parents and kids. And I have to be honest, there are some stages I do not miss. The temper tantrum stage is one of them.

[@michaelsorensen7567]

Anger is important because that's your mind telling you that needs are unmet. Channeling it properly is hard tho. I tell my kids they can be mad, but not shout or hit. They can cry but not fuss or whine. Emotions are good things (even negative ones) but they absolutely don't excuse poor behavior.

[@carlwells9504]

Well done!

[@snuffsan]

he's very interesting to listen to, he's so knowledgable and articulate.

[@patrickstamati3459]

I learnt something from this: Jordan Peterson defines children by their LENGTH..... 4:00

[@jimmyjoe1488]

If you're referring to a toddler that can only crawl, you're not going to define them by their height, you'll define them by their "length," same as animals.

[@patrickstamati3459]

Jimmy Joe true, it just feels unnatural though

[@Mathuews1]

I've heard many Canadians do this lol

[@AliXHamid]

Hahahaha i too noticed that and think its really funny the way he says it 😂😂

[@joanesperanza7519]

Impulsive positive emotions cause bad decisions. The will power of a two years old. The strategy didn't work, so he quit. Upon compliance, give reward. Good work little man! A pat on the head. Pay attention. And mean it! Be precise in what you like, and he will like that you notice. Do not turn it into zero. NOTICE. Do not become resentful with your kid. Make them likeable. Don't make them receive negative feedbacks from many people. The model of the not innate continuous personality appears again.

[@brucelevine6517]

Dr you are making the world better one video at a time thanks !

[@papershadows9653]

My sister's oldest son did the same thing! A friend of the family was over one day and witnessed this. My sister was unconcerned. The friend was horrified. She thought my sister was a monster! My sister told her very calmly, he'll start breathing again when he passes out. And he did. Friend didn't come back!

[@PaulGunnMusic]

Good riddance to friend!

[@addygrl6276]

Good job to your sister. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼😃

[@Lesminster]

"Pushing the lever for cocaine" pushed me into uncontrolled laugh at my workplace xD

[@tqatq]

This material should be translated to every language يجب أن يترجم

[@cristianengel1993]

Of all Jordan Peterson videos that i saw this is the funniest

[@kukalakana]

First time I've heard anyone mention Piaget since I did first year Psychology in 1997!

[@oneofthosecreativetypes24]

Same

[@hariman7727]

That makes me think that Piaget worth reading, and should be put back into schools.

[@robertaturk]

He was in the majority of work in my child rearing course in 1968.

[@TheMABExperience]

I'm not even a parent and I've had a lot of fun doing this exact same thing, and have never had any problems with children after they realized they couldn't pull that s**t with me. No need to yell at them. No need to whoop them. This is great! 😂💯💪🏾

[@erikasmith2885]

This is exactly how I did things with my son & it worked GREAT. This way, there was no shame from being "scolded" or yelled out & gave him control of his own feelings/actions. When he got a little older he had a very quick temper & while teaching him how to get control of it one day i told him to go outside and use all of his strength & frustration to push over a tree 😂 He did it and it worked!! Kids just need the right tools to cope with their reality. Don't we all?

[@Juhani139]

He touched on something very real for me. The fear of other people not liking my kid when we go to visit them. My kid's autistic. Tantrums/meltdowns and destructive behaviour is a common thing for us. We're afraid to go visit friends' at their homes because we're afraid of what he'll do and how they'll react. When we do go we can't have a proper visit because we are always running after him, setting the boundaries in the new environment. It's exhausting. I'm sure as he gets older he'll start to notice people not liking his behaviour... It's painful to think about.

[@hariman7727]

Autism is a challenge to deal with, but I have a friend who is on the autistic spectrum who learned to function on her own, who is passing on how to function in society with autism to her daughter. Autism is literally a child/person's mind thinking differently from most other minds, meaning they react differently and need to be taught how to understand and work with people who don't think like them, while also managing their impulses and other issues that are related to/a part of Autism. There are resources and those who have already dealt with these issues who can help better than I can. Just NOT Autism Speaks. That group/company/whatever is full of bull manure. And that's not my caution about Autism Speaks being bad, that's from the aforementioned friend on the spectrum.

[@lukelively8380]

I wish I could take a class with Dr. Peterson

[@dontatme3844]

2:49 that moment when Peterson and his student share a moment of laughter together. That was beautiful to watch

[@lucyterrier7905]

My father paid attention to us kids as many times as I can count on 1 hand. He very rarely went to the school events or spent time with us. If we asked him a question, he would refer us to our mother. He was harsh when he spoke to us and only gave me a compliment once in my entire life. Same for my siblings. What he did do is provide for us. He gave us kids lots of money. College education, brand new cars and he bought our houses for us. That was his way of love since he had no idea how to express it other wise. He grew up with a rough mother and his father died when he was young. He also grew up during Hitler's occupation. Not ideal.

[@MarcosLopez-cu6ui]

I wish I had learned this 20 years ago...never too late...thank you JP...☀️

[@mordechaihakimpour894]

Ingenious a true legend. Thank you

[@jarijansma2207]

Thanks for the non-click baity title!

[@MarilynCrosbie]

Our eldest son had tantrums. I wish I had this information back then.

[@warrensmith2902]

Hear most of this back in college when I to a Human and Family Relationship class. Best and most useful course I took in college. Remember when my kids were growing up, the temper tantrums. We got though those. Our oldest threw one in Walmart. OK, so I said, "not responding to that, let's go". At that point we went into the floor phase. and I walked around the corner. It persisted for another 5 minutes. He calmed down, and I came around the corner and said "ready to go?" and with sniffles we left the store. Never had a real problem with him after that.

[@711TatianaR]

My father has temper tantrums anytime a 35 year old daughter doesn’t obey the unreasonable demands. He’ll stomp his feet, pout, etc. Wild. I’m glad I stopped idolizing him and can see the manipulative narcissistic tactics. Thank you Dr Peterson for being one of the people who opened my eyes!

[@hariman7727]

Like others who have dealt with narcissists, I am happy to see that knowledge and understanding of true Narcissism is spreading. Those who are truly narcissists can do so much damage, it's scary. The vanity that is normally attached to "narcissistic" is just a fragment of the true problem.

[@annah5592]

This made me very emotional. Forcing food into a child's mouth can result in real problems, so youre going have to really know what your doing with this kind of aproach.

[@tdolkar1378]

I enjoy his lectures so much thx so much for these clips

[@Somewhere-In-AZ]

This worked with a 66 year old! But so much work went into building a foundation of commonality first. Build trust, love, listen and then work. Some tantrums give you so much information if you listen. The reason someone yells is because they feel like nobody is listening to them. Active listening, repeating back what they said, builds trust. Then work can begin.

[@greebo7857]

Besides being a genius, and a fabulous lecturer, and an amazing student of humanity, JBP is also a brilliant tutor. If just ONE of the students in this class is paying attention the world will become a slightly better place.

[@et5895]

The great thing about his class is that there is no way to not be completely engaged. I hope none of them are taking it for granted. He's truly an amazing man!

[@imeleventeen]

I feel like in order to have a kid you need to go through an hour course of Jordan Peterson telling you what to do. Could you imagine how great the world could be

[@hariman7727]

You know... I'd say a week or two of Jordan Peterson lectures would be a good thing for a lot of people. Or it would be massively infuriating for the narcissists and the ideologues who will never listen.

[@dylanc760]

Thanks for these important uploads!

[@carlwells9504]

I can recall vividly trying to throw a temper tantrum once. My Mum was clever gave me absolutely no attention just said you need to go into time out and put me in the hall way for what seemed like ages (probably all of 5 mins) I don't remember anything after that but I don't recall having another one!

[@jay6817]

Amazing useful advice. This could be the first time I've seen him smile ;-)

[@CsharpPreza]

Exactly, my mother tought me to not try to be good. If I did something bad, I got punished. If I did something good, I was told something like "Finally..." in a not so thrilled voice. It was awful and demotivating.

[@chandanbanakar333]

There's no such thing as being impulsively happy,you can always express your happiness in impulsive ways ..these aren't the same..

[@Frosty-oj6hw]

I'm a libertarian and have an staunch belief in freedom, but I also strongly believe that every parent should have to watch this before raising a child. There's more wisdom crammed into this 14 minutes than anyone could possible appreciate.

[@burlykim132]

It is amazing how many parents in recent times have a complete inability to either acknowledge and/or correct their child’s inappropriate behaviours. It’s truly an epidemic. My son is now 18 but we had some very difficult times in the first crucial 4 years of his life. I started to parent from guilt and it was literally a few days that I saw how horrible that would be for us both. I was not doing either of us any good with that approach. Discipline is absolutely necessary. You wouldn’t believe how many child care workers were so grateful when they would talk to me about something my child had done and my reaction was ok, how do we address these things together? They told me so many times that is not the reaction they normally get. Instead they get parents that get angry at the child care worker and say things like “my child would never do that”. People, do yourself, but mostly your child a massive favour and address their mistakes and misbehaviours when they happen. On another note, as JP stated, see the good they do and tell them! It becomes painfully obvious to children that when they do something good they may get a little nod of acknowledgement, but if they behave badly boy does that get people’s direct intense attention. You have to see the good and recognize it more often or kids will start using bad behaviour for your attention instead.

[@lucyterrier7905]

My kids never had a temper tantrum to the extent the good Dr. Explained his son had. That's crazy & unacceptable behavior. We knew how to distract our children. The kids that have tantrums that go on and on have parents that don't know how to parent or something is wrong with the child. I wish Peterson would teach distraction. At 2 and under, distracting doesn't "spoil" the child.

[@jawnsushi]

3:15 I remember my dad doing this with me a few times when I was a child. Instead of sitting on the steps though, it was "go stand in the corner and think about what you did." 😆 Thanks, dad. :) Edit! If I ever mistreated someone in any way, he'd say something like "how would you feel if someone did that to you?" And then "think about it." I don't know if it worked or not but it sure felt like it. Ha

[@paoemantega8793]

Fascinating and entertaining to boot :D

[@DemonVido]

God, i wish i could've had more teachers like that

[@nickmagrick7702]

thats exactly what my childhood is like. But I learned some valuable things from it, and its absolutely right that no adult is to be trusted. Or in the very least, no one should be trusted entirely without first knowing them and who they are, because everyone lies. Nearly everyone is self motivated to the detriment of others around them. They care, but when it comes down to it the sacrifice will be made of the friend not them.

[@Sopranohooper]

Pay attention to that "nearly" because people who are both sane and good DO exist, and they're valuable resources.

[@nickmagrick7702]

@@Sopranohooper I know that. But its also not like they are the majority. And the disproportion gives me existential... pain? Fear? idk the right word. But im not comfortable with the idea that it might always be that way.

[@joshieland6941]

I love how he calls his kids vermin!!!!! lol it's hilarious

[@TengouX]

The word he used was varmint I think, which is a term for an unruly animal or a wild child.

[@joshieland6941]

@@TengouX if so, I totally misheard. Thanks!!!

[@annah5592]

People who hurt their children usually do it when the child is passive, sweet, afraid....real physical child abuse has rarely anything to do with a kids behaviour. I know.

[@hariman7727]

...You have my sympathy.

[@TheMilwaukeeProtocol]

12:48-13:46 That is how I grew up. :-( No wonder I'm interested in behavior studies. I'm trying to self-medicate and become civilized while helping my students to become more successful on this front. It's a lot easier to learn this stuff as a kid than at 34.

[@Hymex_]

Pyagrl*16 Well, hopefully you can do the man a service and integrate his knowledge into your decisions, all the while demonstrating his patience. Your field sounds like a difficult. albeit rewarding one. Best wishes!

[@TheMilwaukeeProtocol]

Thank you! That is very kind of you.

[@BusyBrainyBody]

Ditto.

[@nicoleherras9943]

Jordan kind of lectures are so worth the student loans

[@surr3al305]

Wish I learnt this sooner. Lost temper at a 4 year old kid in the past

[@StillAmin]

my ego is furiously jealous of the students who are present in that classroom ! that classroom is now my second favorite room to be present at (after the Oscars room) !

[@davidharrison1860]

Jordan, please consider discussing your observations about mapping the dynamics of power-control manipulation of the attending physician (parent) and the PGY1 medical resident as the dependent variable (child) needing guidance to navigate (learn) to voice their "no" to being burned-out by the systemic dysfunction of 80-hour weeks and 20-hour shifts that produce adverse burnout and patient safety incidents.

[@ANGEL-eh6pd]

I think, I am just going to listen. I am new to this. Thank ypu.

[@AlexTBon4073]

People can be good, don't let this thing fool you.

[@parsleyrose7778]

13:25 to the end is the highlight of this video. SOOO true. Almost all parents have this aggressive staunch “I’m a great parent, don’t you dare tell me how to parent my kids,” and they have such a stunning lack of self awareness and are unable to even entertain the idea that they are doing anything wrong without becoming enraged. These kinds of people are often the worst, shittiest parents and they never acknowledge it.

[@InnerMittenSignal]

Are you checking your comments, Gravitahn? Because mine immediately disappeared! Will it sit in "Not Read Prison" forever now because this is three years old? Or have I simply been ghosted & instantly deleted by Ewe Chew Browbeetz (sound it out! :) I can find out be reloading this & seeing if I'm even allowed to comment on a comment...

[@InnerMittenSignal]

Piaget saw us as "Herman's Head"? The Word of God says it's a GOOD thing to be Toddler Happy, since our Father knows how easily He can channel His own Joy as He sends it to His children via The Holy Spirit! (:D

[@stans5270]

"Reward is useful"... Friday is payday.

[@Miratesus]

I have a 63 year old boss who has 70 empoyees. She has frequent temper tantrums whenever she hears something she doesn't like or agree with.

[@rachaels1136]

Miratesus well she must be a liberal then! 😂

[@halofreak1990]

My younger brother's like this, too, and he's 28. Can get physically aggressive, too, if you _let_ him, but if you stand up against him, he's quite the coward. It's pathetic, really. Wish there was a way to force him to get therapy, because I doubt there's any way his behavior can still be corrected through normal means.

[@ElanaVital83]

I never threw temper tantrums as a kid because I saw what happened to my big sister when she did it and learned "....that's not working for her!" So I'd always try to charm my parents with caresses etc. Didn't really work either LOL.

[@letsgoBrandon204]

Same way you train dogs. Reward desirable behaviour instantly, and by the same token make it clear that you disapprove when they do something wrong. Over time, they learn. Our dog used to be aggressive towards French Bulldogs for some unfathomable reason. He's had several opportunities to learn and he's far more agreeable now. Bad things happen when you have a go at French Bulldogs...>> don't have a go at French Bulldogs.

[@hariman7727]

This advice is mixed, because a child and a dog are VERY different, and there are things you can do when training a dog that you can't do with a child, and things you can do while raising a child that you can't with a dog, and getting those mixed up is HORRIBLE. There ARE basic principals of reward, correction, and such that share a base commonality between children and animals, but it's risky to view both as the same, even with the surface similarities. Oh, and I'm not saying that hypothetically. I've seen damage done to kids by parents who forget that sort of thing.

[@letsgoBrandon204]

@@hariman7727 My opinion has changed since I made that comment and I agree with you completely

[@hariman7727]

@@letsgoBrandon204 *Thumbs up.*

[@scottsteele3890]

Believe it or not, he just told you how to best raise your child and train your dog. Most parents reward the child's bad behavior.

[@flossie5432]

He's just spelled out exactly the parenting techniques employed by my Aunty in the South Wales mining valley from 1950 -2000.My sister learned all her childraising skills from this aunty when sis became a primary school teacher of 5-11 yr olds .The kids loved her.And remember her still.This is not rocket science.Even my child with genetic learning disability responded and learned from this when she had temper tantrums which were part of her syndrome (PWS).I wonder if this man learned this from his Mam?

[@hariman7727]

There are other lectures that point to the answer to that question being "Yes".

[@veerchasm1]

4:02 Hey Phoebe Bridgers, no eating in class!

[@DogOfEgypt]

What about an adult that truly acts like a child with a temper tantrum when enraged by small misfortunes that one can expect an adult to handle/ brush off? How realistic is it to assume that they have a form of mental disorder?

[@Animuldok]

Treat an adult tantrum (aka "hissy fit") just like that of a child. Ignore it (no conversation, no eye contact, no touching) to remove any chance of inadvertent reward. This is called a negative punisher and is more effective long term than a positive punisher. Most likely that the adults tantrum was a learned and reinforced behavior. I would assume that before thinking they had a mental disorder.

[@introspectah]

Developmental arrestment, look into it. Mental chaos, yes, but let's not immediatelly assume the grasp of a clinical psychologist.

[@DazraelArianos]

My family was all punishment and no reward. Ask a question they don't know the answer to? You're being a brat. Get lower than a B? Grabbed by the shirt and getting my head slammed against the kitchen cupboards. Get straight As in school? You better not let your grades slip. Be the only one in your school to receive a gold medallion for a perfect score on an exam that happens once every four years when you're a year too young to be taking the exam? They smile and take your award from you so they can show their friends. By high school my parents had thrown away every shred of respect I had for them. Now I'm 30 and visiting my mother finally told me she was proud I finished my first year of college before graduating high school. Didn't have the heart to tell her the only reason I did so was to get away from her as fast as possible. You're twenty years late woman.

[@rocker99908]

I'm still on the fence about how it's not manipulative.

[@siggyincr7447]

It is manipulative in the strictest sense. It's acting with the intent to modify, or manipulate, someone else's behavior to that which you want. Though it is a great example of how not all manipulation is nefarious. It's very much in the child's best interest to learn how to interact in a socially acceptable manner. I think he might have meant that it wasn't dishonest, in the sense that your praises are an honest reflection of your pleasure with the child's behavior. As opposed to what more commonly is considered "manipulative", when people give a false reaction or information in order to manipulate others into doing what they want.

[@patriciapainter2067]

This talk is a funny and illuminating...eradicate story...if jordan

[@gregNFL]

Dress like the person you want to be.

[@christopheranderson2769]

Best thing you can do for a kid like that is to sit down and talk to them for 20 minutes in a row. Just do it every day. They will unwind and chill out. They may be immature idiots. But they don’t turn into violent immature idiots unless you treat them with disdain 24/7. They can’t spell or define disdain. But they still feel it. I always tell young parents to treat them like tiny adults. Because one day when your super old. They will do you like you did them. And dump you in a ultra “budget friendly” retirement facility. Assuming they don’t snuff you with a pillow. Or just change their phone number and move without telling you.

[@TheHelghast1138]

My God I wish I'd seen this two years ago, even three years ago .... :/

[@jacobhayes1305]

One of the things i do with my kids when they are having a fit crying. I act like their crying is an enjoyable song. Ill say "everyone quite down! So and sos singing us a song". Then i wave my hands like a symphony conductor and say " my god i love this song". 1of 2 things happen. Ether they start laughing, or they get pissed and stop crying to "annoy" me lol. Its worked wonders so far.

[@Pahlko]

As of writing this, there are 81 dislikes. That's a lot of tantrums. 30 feet? More like 30 miles of a safe distance.

[@Lady_Rowan_MacGyver]

My kids, figured out pretty quick 1. Momma doesn't speak whine & 2. Cause & effect. Throw a tantrum? 1 of 2 things will happen. You'll be ignored entirely. 2. You get a swat on the ass. My kids didn't throw that many tantrums. Usually i walked away/ completely ignored them. man that messed with them. Like this gent, once my kid calmed down? Then i spoke to them/ acknowledged their presence. 😀

[@serenityheart4368]

Temper tantrums for life!

[@amritjanardhanan]

Immediatly when i pictured a toddler throwing a temper tantrum I pictured a Xanax. I need to fix my shitty brain.

[@shinjuku96jackson4]

No one could control my Temper Tantrums in public or in private

[@jasonbarnes6568]

back when he was happy

[@ischiagiorgio]

It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt! LOL

[@jaskaran.24]

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL THIS MAN THAT HIS SON IS A SUPER SAIYAN

[@hariman7727]

Pain and discomfort can be dealt with via willpower. It's not easy for adults, but you or I might be able to with the right incentives, or if we were doing it to help/protect someone we cared about. A child has far more tolerance for the discomfort and the pain that sort of thing causes. Or perhaps less awareness of what they're enduring because they're in a fit. Also... speaking of pain: I HATE the healing process from novocaine injections during dental work. Utterly. Truly. Deeply. HATE. The. Pain. Of. Healing. From. The. Novocaine injectios, because of the damage done to the gums and the injection sites. So, I find it easier to get my fillings done without the local anesthetic. It hurts. I won't lie about that. But it's far easier to heal and feel normal again, as it's 2 or 3 days without the novocaine, and 2 or 3 WEEKS with the novocaine. It's all about the willpower, and Jordan Peterson is NOT kidding about the willpower of a 2 year old.

[@crossroads2027]

Oh damn what he said around 12:09 about the parent and kids. shit that was my life till 20 ridiculous

[@llo7816]

I found u just have to be smarter than them, hell what is a 2 year old going to do to u?? My mother was a master of bratty kids, she never lost her cool on anyone younger than 10.

[@lacyb8289]

I would hold my breath until fully passing out. Lol

[@Jah-jh2ob]

His son will do great things

[@amritjanardhanan]

“Ya don’t like being dominated by a two-year-old” -Pordan Jeterson Lol

[@ubergeraldine]

I wish he would replace the word control with coherence. You could demonstrate to a child with a jigsaw what incoherence looks like. Control implies what is subjugated might accumulate and blow up again. Just put the pieces back. Simple.

[@robertaturk]

Excellent point!!! Good job! I always like being “in charge” rather than “in control”. “In charge” means you can delegate and only if there is a problem do you need to put forth effort. In “control” implies constant alertness because at any moment things can go out of control.

[@Youn6J]

I can listen to this guy speak for hours, if I ever meet him one day I wanna pick his brain 😂

[@InnerMittenSignal]

Jordan, the "The Child Whisperer" showing parents how to be the "eye mare" for destructive toddlers.

[@amilaperera4731]

49 people disliked this video. I would love figure out how their brains work mmm interesting

[@tomschneider7788]

3:51 Yes, a ex of mine has BPD, it was hell.

[@enoughalready244]

This guy is fucking brilliant

[@MarcDufresneosorusrex]

my father was an orphan since a young child, but I remembering lookin at him his actions were those of a toddler, just immature child i thought.. now am in my fourties and just starting to understand his situation (growing up fatherless), I wish if there is a way that I could assist others with similar family problems but dont know where to start. If anyone has an advice for me, I would appreciate it. thank you Have a good sunday

[@llo7816]

If you're not self aware you will always have issues with your children.