Funny Military Stories | Gary Owen

Happy Veterans Day! Here's a compilation of some of my favorite military stories

[@pettytoni1955]

I remember my first Navy check after boot camp. I was thrilled that I had GUARANTEED WORK for the next 4 years (unless I did something stupid), a roof (so to speak) over my head and 3 squares a day. Better than many 19 year olds today. AND bc I did it for 24 years, the gift keeps on giving.

[@paulpski9855]

Yep, finished A School and was offered OS3 for an extra two year commitment. I said "hell no, I'm not sticking around that long". In the end I retired as a CDR.

[@quikdraw5203]

Turn to, shipmate!!

[@markydo7]

​@@paulpski9855Damneck Virginia 👍🤣

[@paulpski9855]

@@markydo7 July through December 1986, only remember that because I graduated boot camp in July and reported onboard USS Badger the day after Christmas.

[@stanwolenski9541]

I appreciate you giving 24 years of service, a difficult thing to do under good circumstances. My wife and I, both 20, were married several months before I went into the Army in 1968. My first check/ cash was about $100 for the month. Needless to say money was always tight especially when we had our two kids. With an early out I did a week less than three years. The post military benefits have far exceed what I took home during my nearly three years of service. BTW that 20 year old woman and I recently celebrated 56 years of marriage.

[@pdlister]

My first year in the Navy, I was making $99/month. I got a check for $38 every other Thursday. I was 17. I'm 77 now, and from that day to this, I've never been as financially independent as I was in those days. I went three years without owning civvies. Good days.

[@glennrishton5679]

1970 I think that was my first monthly pay too. Got out an an E 4 over four making about $512 a month

[@stanwolenski9541]

@@glennrishton5679The most I ever made was in the early part of 1971 when I was stationed in a certain Southeast Asian nation that was engaged in a civil war. As a E-5 wife 2 kids, pro pay and everything else came out to around $550 a month, we were paid monthly.

[@stanwolenski9541]

Thanks for enlisting, based on your age it was during the Vietnam war, you could have avoided military service but didn’t. My guess is you also didn’t have the same family responsibilities at 17 that you had after your service.

[@glennrishton5679]

@@stanwolenski9541 In my case unlikely I'd have avoided Vietnam as about 4 days after getting sworn in the Navy I got my orders for induction into the Army....drafted.

[@stanwolenski9541]

@@glennrishton5679 I actually enlisted after receiving my “Greetings from the president of the United States”. Got what I describe as a blue light special which allowed me to enlist for 3 years with a 1 year guarantee choice of duty station. Normally that M.O.S. required a 4 year enlistment with a two year choice of duty station. Part way into my enlistment I changed my M.O.S. But stayed stateside except for the short time in the RVN. As an E-5 I with base pay, pro pay, dependents , hazardous duty , and everything else it was about $500 per month. On the bright side when overseas there was no income tax, one would have thought that would be an incentive to stay longer. Hint, it wasn’t.

[@thapelotatedi-qk9ko]

The marine joke's had me in tears ☠️😂☠️

[@flight2k5]

I agree like how they think they’re the first in 😂😂😂

[@c4hotel6]

Marine. Fuck yeah

[@jasonvanevery5594]

😂 You must have been the cop on North Island that ran me through a sobriety test ages ago. I had no clue how I passed. Now I do! Thank you!!!

[@seyouma722]

😂😂😂

[@c4hotel6]

I totally did this

[@alexishunt4336]

The candance call had me rolling 😂😂😂

[@faiceoff1]

The left left left left left left .. I’m in tears … Needed this laugh 😂

[@stanwolenski9541]

Our First Sargent in basic could have been recorded, his cadences were great. A serveral mile march felt like a few minutes. Sadly I don’t remember his name.

[@briankelly5847]

Not a lie was told either. 😂😂😂

[@marilynbrown1833]

Thank you for your service Gary.

[@justinsanders4598]

Or lack of 😂

[@deannaervin1477]

Amen brother

[@sjmccafferey4437]

Sounds like a hood rat

[@lawrencep.5230]

Happy Veterans Day Sailor!!! 32nd Street, I was there!!! Everything Gary says is true lol. I remember talking for hours to Shore Patrol for hours drunk AF after being in TJ. Thanks Gary for cracking jokes until 6 a.m. and not giving me hell coming back crossing those tracks at the shack LMAO. I forgot about that, until I saw this 🤦🏿‍♂️

[@anonymousbosch9265]

Same, 21 days for going to TJ without authorization and getting busted drunk and rowdy

[@SaltyCorpsman]

I miss ol San dog. Lived in chula vista for 2 years. Well, has an apartment there. Spent most of my time cutting squares.

[@samuelschick8813]

32nd, LST 1189 1981- 1984. GMG NEC 9545.

[@nicholascoston4117]

I was there at that time also. Big up shipmate.

[@quikdraw5203]

32nd St, Pier 4 LPH-11 GATOR NAVY!!!

[@jamesthomas7928]

My parents threw me into the military saying 'See what you can do with this one'. Well they did a great job and made my life hell and then heaven as I learned how to behave, how to unlearn stuff I'd been taught and how to be a success. Everyone should have spell at it and learn that being a YT influencer or Only Fan is not life.... it's horrible

[@dakkuri1]

This shit accurate as hell. Being a former airman,this happens alot

[@Hunterlp2022]

Gary is the MP we all want but don’t deserve. A true hero! Hahaah thank you brother! Love you

[@wrongfullyaccused7139]

My first paycheck in the military was $325.00. Loved it.

[@michaelchristensen5421]

Mine was $319

[@christopherhernandez8446]

Mine was $300 with jump pay. Jump pay was 110

[@danseitsinger6737]

I made $352 a month and I thought it was a lot of money back then! 1976.

[@MrWaterbugdesign]

Yeah, I was driving back on base at Cory Station Pensacola after out drinking with the boys. Gate SP guard was grilling me about a report of someone driving on officer housing yards. I denied, denied, denied. They let me on base. When I parked and got out I saw there was a huge bush stuck under my car and hanging out in clear view of the SP. Yeah, I'd been doing donuts in officer yards, but they let me thru. Guess too much paperwork.

[@MrVante247]

Gary is spot on. I was a Corpsman for 5 years, Camp Pendleton, CA. I laughed so harrrrrd 😂

[@jacobmartin9446]

Artillery in Las Pulgas in Camp Pendleton

[@spacedoctorkai]

Corpsman Up!

[@ronnieam33]

I was stationed in San Diego at that same time as Gary and these stories he talks about hits close to home for me and brings back memories from then!! LMAO USS Ranger CV-61 VF-1 NAS Miramar ATC Second Class

[@jocelynnowen3078]

Happy New Year ssbn 598

[@pettytoni1955]

I was in VF-124 at NAS Miramar.

[@braddblk]

USS Ranger VA-165@Whidbey Is

[@ronnieam33]

@@pettytoni1955 Gunfighters!

[@ryanlee3228]

It’s great to see a vet make it to something more than just what we did while we served. Not to say there’s anything wrong with that, that’s what I did. But be able to make it like him and then share our stories of actual military life lmfao I can relate to pretty much every story after 9 years in. Best worst times of my life, I wouldn’t give it up for anything

[@williamwright29349]

yep, we can relate to it, best stories were told at the VA

[@pdlister]

I was an aviation ordnanceman. I got out after Nam and discovered that NO airline anywhere was hiring guys to load bombs on their airplanes.

[@pettytoni1955]

@@pdlister 😲😂

[@Muziqman4life1]

Thank you for your service Shipmate. Go Navy!!!!

[@jocelynnowen3078]

Ditto

[@danseitsinger6737]

GO NAVY!!! '76-'79 Pearl Harbor all 3 years, 11 months!! Loved every single minute of it!

[@gilzavala9739]

I wrestled for the Army back in 96, back when we were at Ft Benning before we had the team move to Carson. The current wrestling coach for the Army, Shon Lewis, was one of my wrestling partners. Our program is basically an Olympic training program, and we wrestle against NCAA teams all the time as well as international tournaments. Hometown heroes aren't always the ones that succeed as you get all sorts of wrestlers that come to tryouts. During my tryouts we had 160 people try out and after about 30-45 days you end up with about 30-40 wrestlers, and you have to know/learn Greco Roman and freestyle. It's a meat grinder. I wrestled in the 52kg category and wrestled dozens of NCAA wrestlers, foreign opponents. I was ranked # 3 in the US for Greco, and I placed 3rd in the Olympic trials in 96 but failed to place in the team tournament. It was a great time on the team, and saw a few friends make it and place in the Olympics.

[@jkjenkins33]

Brings back memories. I love our military servicemembers.

[@TheDevilsquid]

Damn! I remember those Tijuana runs to/from Pendleton with 3 white Marines and my Mexican/Navy ass driving with a mint in my mouth to hide the liquor breath . Good times!

[@Nvable]

I knew a guy on Fort Carson that tried out for the Army wrestling team. He was apparently state champion before. He tried out and came back. He said he had is ass handed to him.

[@gilzavala9739]

I wrestled for the Army back in 96, back when we were at Ft Benning before we had the team move to Carson. The current wrestling coach for the Army, Shon Lewis, was one of my wrestling partners. Our program is basically an Olympic training program, and we wrestle against NCAA teams all the time as well as international tournaments. Hometown heroes aren't always the ones that succeed as you get all sorts of wrestlers that come to tryouts. During my tryouts we had 160 people try out and after about 30-45 days you end up with about 30-40 wrestlers, and you have to know/learn Greco Roman and freestyle. It's a meat grinder. I wrestled in the 52kg category and wrestled dozens of NCAA wrestlers, foreign opponents. I was ranked # 3 in the US for Greco, and I placed 3rd in the Olympic trials in 96 but failed to place in the team tournament. It was a great time on the team, and saw a few friends make it and place in the Olympics. Hats off to your friend for trying and giving his best, but there's always someone out there who's better than you so train hard.

[@andygreer8636]

I was in the army and the navy. He’s right about recruiting. The Navy was the most honest. 😂😂

[@quikdraw5203]

Same!

[@dolphinschild62]

Omg Gary, Navy Vet here. Love, love, love it.

[@michaelmarks8954]

My pay was less than $150.00 a month with a $50.00 monthly allotment to my Mom. 🇺🇸🇨🇦🇺🇸 Enjoyed this video.

[@braddblk]

Finally!!, someone here that makes me feel rich, $288.00 a month. When he said 24,000 I made about 2,400 my first year.

[@gunndish]

Good stuff Gary! When I enlisted in the Navy ... they had just given the military a gi-huge-ic pay raise ... $288 a month ... (before taxes). I thought I was shittin' in tall cotton!!!

[@jackturner214]

Half the reason I went to Annapolis was because we got a room, meals, clothes, and a paycheck; when admissions told me we got all that, and didn't pay tuition, AND we got pay on top of it, I didn't ask any further questions! I thought I had beat the system until I showed up for Plebe Summer and it was suddenly like "ooooh..." so maybe I wasn't as smart at 17 as I thought I was! 🤣

[@gunndish]

@@jackturner214 ... not to mention, a Bachelor's degree (at least) from one of the better Engineering schools in the country!

[@jackturner214]

@@gunndish And that BS has been one of the most valuable things I got coming out of Annapolis because it led directly to my second career. The pay that I was so focused on as a kid turned out to only have minimum impact in the end. Like I said, maybe I wasn't as smart at 17 as I am now almost four decades later, but then again, who really is?

[@gunndish]

@@jackturner214 Amen brother! I think life works on a curve ... you gain knowledge and sense as you mature ... then once you hit your 70's ... you approach the downhill side. (I'm damned near there) ... but, it's been one helluva good ride. All the best to you and yours in this new year.

[@jackturner214]

@@gunndish And a happy new year to you and yours, shipmate. Fly Navy!

[@MasteredMirages]

😂😂😂😂 all seriousness aside this is what comedy is about

[@torrisali2082]

Thank You For Your Service Gary Owen.

[@4catsnow]

Army....67-70. Signed out at the admin building at main post...6 of us lined up in front of some warrant officer to give us our paperwork...Guy at the head of line turned around to look at us and said "We're still breathin'......wow"....

[@pettytoni1955]

Amen!

[@4catsnow]

@@pettytoni1955 Remember is like is was yesterday...And the next time I put on a set of fatigues...Ho Chi Minh will be second in command at the VA...

[@kennethdarby8941]

Nice: Signed: One of The Few and Proud.

[@nitacollins9543]

I’m a military vet also! US Army 🎉🎉🎉 THANKS FOR YOUR SERVICE Mr.Owen👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

[@trennedyblair836]

Happy Veterans Day Gary Owen Thank You For Your Service

[@impacking]

You brought back some good memories of my time at Lackland Gary. I was there for Basic and then stayed there for the SP academy. I had my first taste of Texas brisket during that time. 👍🏾

[@cccantrell27]

as former army enlisted I laughed way to hard at this shit.

[@nisaroberts9059]

Happy Veterans Day Gary we ❤ U and thank U for your Service God bless U. 😊

[@michelecherek5392]

Thank you for serving our country, Gary!!!💖💖💖💖

[@braised44]

Gary Owen... Gary Owen...Gary Owen!

[@ThePatrickakes]

This dude's name is Gary Owen... should have been a CAV Scout and gotten assigned to the 7th CAV.

[@Dr.Zoidberg087]

😂 right.

[@pettytoni1955]

Absolutely! 🎶🎶🎶

[@wesleythomas6194]

I was stationed there on one of my two tours to korea!

[@robertbice529]

Dayumm right 😎

[@GUn3ak]

OOF 💯

[@verniceriggs9300]

Thank you for your service.

[@jaxonboys3366]

A dadgum sailor named Gary Owen. "If you aint Cav, you aint Sh!t". Good bit man, funny.😅

[@sandovalperry2895]

They gave you the answer! I was an instructor in AIT, we would tell the students “you may see this again” and stomp our boot three times. It never failed that someone would miss the question and want to argue. We would go over the test at the end of the day on Friday. We would tell the students that since PVT Smith had a question we will stay until he’s satisfied. It was amazing how quickly PVT Smith’s was convinced by his classmates.

[@deannaervin1477]

Thank you for your service Gary God bless you

[@WildWildWest83]

Too funny. Thanks for serving G. 🇺🇲

[@user-ui2wi4ne5s]

Thank you for your service

[@HyOctaneChyk]

Ohmygod I freaking love this dude 😂😂😂

[@stephanieharries7746]

He is so right I'm a female who graduated boot camp he's a little bit before my time yet I remember hearing these hit song or at least I can think of one hit song they're reminded me of the Cadence at Buchamp and I realized they were doing it after they hit song it's true......😊😊😊😊😊😊

[@aviswright3869]

Gary is hilarious! 😅😂😂

[@rockyrocamontes8972]

Bruh, I was born at Wilford Hall on Lackland AFB. Base Housing was awesome.

[@mkvv5687]

I remember that name! I never found out who Wilford was.

[@johnduffy6546]

Anchors aweigh...LMAO

[@Familyman247-]

He ain’t lying. The brothers were competing for the record deal in navy boot camp lol!

[@cyndigirl418]

So I must admit that I was not familiar with you until I heard Katt Williams mention you on Club Shay Shay. I looked you up to check out your videos, and I'm so glad that I did, dude! You are hilarious! I've been missing out! You have a new subscriber, and I hope that I can catch one of your live shows soon! 😂😂😂❤❤❤

[@donaldgrantham5236]

My first pay check in the Army was$50 for the month!

[@jocelynnowen3078]

Thank you for leading the way Army

[@littlemusiqbox]

Everything you earn goes to the retirement house!

[@fmlmarc]

Everything is absolutely true, I had very similar experiences in my time in the Navy.

[@RollerSkatinActor]

I joined the Navy to sing. There are 2 groups that travel the world and sing and they're called the Sea Chanters. When I got to classification and told the dude that I'm here to sing he looked at me and laughed and said Son you better pick something from this list that included submarine technician, and some other stuff that was mildly interesting. One choice was a Corpsman. I said what's that? he said a corpsman provides medical care, essentially you do more than a registered nurse. Now I couldn't even stand the sight of blood, but one thing I found out is that 90% of the Corps School attendance across the street at A school in the Great Lakes were females so I said sign me up for the Corpsman. I couldn't even stand the sight of blood. Then after A school was over, they split our class in half and say this side of the room is going with the Marines to provide medical care on the front lines and this other side is going on ships and Naval hospitals. I was like what? I joined the Navy not the Marines. But let me tell you something, I ended up getting my RN working for the VA for my entire career and to this day it was the best decision my father ever made.

[@ericankney5957]

WAY more accurate than you'd imagine... I was working the gate one night, and a guy rolls up to the gate at 10 and 2.... Oh no..... He rolls down the window to show me his ID, and it smelled like the mens room at the bar..... Oh no..... I said to him " I'm about to ask you a question, and I want you to listen real close, cause I'm gonna ask you how much you've had to drink. If you say 1 beer, I'm gonna call for a breathalyzer, and if you say 3, I'm probably going to just give you the DUI, so remember, the correct answer is 2 beers, do you understand?" He says yes... I take a breath, and ask, how much have you had to drink.... I could see the gears turning, and I already knew we were both screwed..... He smiles and says, I didn't have any beers, cause we were doing shots all night!.... I turn and see my relief standing there, so I turn around, hand him the guys ID, and say the guy needs directions to the airport, and I walked away..... I thought he was gonna be mad at me forever, but when I saw him later, he thanked me, it was raining all day, and he had to go in the process the guy.

[@rubencervantes3477]

I didn’t know TOMMY left GHOST for comedy 😂😂😂😂

[@justinhumphrey1516]

😂😂😂 They look nothing alike though.

[@WdyWP]

I can confirm there is truth to this story happening in the service. I can recal these types of stories at bases where I was stationed.

[@handimanjay6642]

Best decision I ever made. Enlisted in 77’ retired in 97’. My medical has been covered. I get $1500 a month and should get another $1500 from social security. Bonus: My wife retired in 98’. We ain’t rich but we ain’t poor.

[@scottg5588]

Don't count on that Social Security just yet. They're gonna hit you with a "Windfall" reduction. Basically they say that your military retirement is a windfall so you don't "need" your full SS benefit. So watch your blood pressure for that one.

[@SabiaCDO]

If all military were about cracking jokes, the world would've been way better. Imagine: "We are going in tonight, gear up!". - "But sir, my in-laws are at home!".

[@jocelynnowen3078]

This proves the Navy is the smart(ass) branch. 😀

[@crisespinoza1979]

I was an Air Force Security Specialist (AF ground troops for sure). We had responsibility for all that happened around the hangars, flightlines, ammo storage, etc. I was with my trainer Sargeant in the cafeteria eating a burger when we got a "flightline intrusion" call. I was halfway out the cafeteria when my Sargeant stopped me and asked if i was forgetting something. I looked. I had my hamburger in my hand and my M-16 rifle was still in it's rack. Oops. Sarge never let me forget that. 🤣🤣

[@xX__Y-E-E-T__Xx]

The accuracy of this 😂 #squidlife

[@scottg5588]

Trust me it isn't just the Army recruiters that lie. Our Air Force recruiter told a football jock friend of mine he could play football for the AF. After basic when they told him he was gonna be a fuel truck driver he immediately requested a discharge. And got it. Few guys know it but if you haven't been in for more than six months you can pretty much just say you changed your mind.

[@jacobmartin9446]

Weak

[@navypolice55]

As a fellow MA, aka a navy cop the first part is 100% correct

[@82dupont]

He said “pace yourself, slow down”…😂😂😂😂😂

[@safetymikeengland]

LOL - I think this guy may be the funniest stand-up I've seen in a long time! Consider me a fan.

[@riddlerinc6291]

Happy Veterans Day brotha 😂

[@linett0591]

He is not only talented but attractive ❤

[@fubar7631002]

Getting a record deal in basic!!! 😅😅😅

[@MartyMarr21]

My army sister in law swore she was going to be rich 😂 talking about buying her husband a new car, getting an apartment while basically being a single mother of two who is asking for money every other day 😂😂 she’s also no higher than an E3.

[@tomlagesse6635]

That was absolutely hilarious. My son is active duty, navy, and currently an m. MA in Japan. I'm gonna send this to him.

[@sissy4506]

Oh shit I laughed so hard.

[@blameyourmamma]

That knife hand is on point.

[@vincemarshall9520]

Pretty funny. Active duty Navy 1982-1993. Bootcamp in San Dog. This guy is spot on!

[@eschus2057]

Saw this guy on a cruise had me in stitches

[@BIGTONEonline]

Had me cracking up!

[@PahzWatchesYouTube]

The first four years that my husband was in the Army, we got paid once a month. The split pay came as a big surprise when he was off in Desert Storm. And the recruiter lied to us too. Both of our dads were career soldiers. That recruiter in North Carolina was telling me how beautiful Kansas was and how much we would love it. I replied: "I left Alaska to come here. And you're telling me that KANSAS is somehow more beautiful than Alaska and North Carolina? C'mon... really?" The fact we both kept telling him our dads were career soldiers (and my father-in-law was still active duty!) did not change his BS script. (after four and a half years in the dirt brown Kansas, we got sent to Savannah, Georgia- which was beautiful!).

[@VulcanGunner]

My first Army take hold paycheck in Aug of 1980 was $214.

[@silverandblk75]

Retired USAF SP/SF this is spot on hilarious.

[@egyptianprincess2560]

THANKS BRO !!

[@Willysmb44]

I was a brand new 2nd Lieutenant, making temporary duty pay for my branch course. I lived on post and single, and that DID make me rich as I could spend on whatever I wanted. Best 6 months of my life

[@slamdunktiger]

Rhys Darby also has great military comedy too if you like these

[@donniebell7887]

Fort sam huston was the wildest time i spent in the service.

[@crazy4dariver]

Lackland, Nov 1980. Then they sent me to the jewel of the USAF, Chanute AFB Rantoul Illinois. I seriously questioned my decision about joining.

[@samanthagreen5535]

❤luv me some him😅😅

[@lindathornton6607]

Hey Gary Thanks for your Service. I to was in the Navy.

[@kennethfox8602]

See a Marine jump on the grenade, A SEAL just picks it up and throws it back.

[@mermaidmelucig]

LOL!! ❤Gary, you are hilarious! Thank you for great laughs 💐

[@KnawedOne]

The welcome home was hysterical!

[@larrystowers3107]

Funny, but what really makes it funny is that everything he said was true. Lol!

[@larrystowers3107]

Retired Army by the way

[@rileydj8764]

All so true, even in 1970 when I joined. But pay was $75 every two weeks.

[@quikdraw5203]

Hell yes, thanks for not giving me a DUI that one night!!

[@droopy0266]

I was a medic in the army. Also cadence station at Fort Sam Houston brought back some good memories listening to ya.

[@johnreid5108]

That man funny 😂😂😂😂😂

[@martinwalker9386]

Two beers, okay two pitchers of beer. I was in the Navy, Army Reserves and Navy for 23.5 years. In the Army Reserve my Captain was relieved of duty because he didn’t maintain good order and discipline in the company. In the Navy in 1985 a sailor received the Navy Achievement Medal and five days later was given a “for the good of the service discharge” because of the trouble he got into off the ship. I don’t know but when he received the medal I suspect the ship already had orders to discharge him. And then he saved an airman that had blown off the USS Enterprise at 2200 in December before we got back to San Diego.

[@davidav8orpflanz561]

He wasn't in the military, he was in the Navy!

[@ericr.2138]

Navy VETERAN. Excellent

[@kurtschwaninger473]

I did that drive back from Tijuana to base in the 80’s more times than I can remember 😅

[@cicad2007]

This guy is GOOD! Laughed my ass off! lol

[@jocelynnowen3078]

Go Navy!! Lol true story about the dui I’m sure. Lmao

[@christopherhernandez8446]

The army recruiter told me I could join the Old Guard. I had to be at least 6 ft. I'm barely 5' 7". He kept saying I still could. 😂

[@therealdyl1099]

As a FORMER irresponsible drinker in the Corps, remembering all the times going through the gate and the ONLY moment of clarity I have from the night is me showing my CAC to the guard and saying nothing but “rah” (and yes it’s lowercased for a reason 😂) and the next thing I know I’m driving off and wake up in my barracks room…I know it’s not right but either those guards the at least 13 times that happened were looking out for me, or Chesty Puller was, the world may never know.