Gen Z Is The Loneliest Generation...Here's Why.

I'm 22 and I Have No Friends: Gen Z's Loneliness Crisis...
📃Written by Elvis
🎥Filmed by @innerouter.coach
💻Edited by Elvis
Recommended Video:
• The Loneliness Epidemi...
Bibliography:
docs.google.com/document/d/1j...
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ABOUT: gen z,mental health,loneliness,loneliness epidemic,loneliness crisis,i have no friends,i don't have friends,frendship recession,i feel lonely,i feel alone

[@FrostDrive]

How the hell you make friends when you need 2 jobs and a side hustle just to make rent.

[@nineonine9082]

With people at your jobs?

[@unstablesyn1306]

City people problems lol

[@atdepaulis]

At your jobs lol I made friends in school but when I was out of school I made friends from jobs.. you are there all day! UNLESS…. Your job is Uber or something solo.. then ya.. you will have issues

[@FernGully37]

Weed

[@Sport-ws6ef]

Move to a cheaper state, region or city/village? Find a better paying job? Or if your job is for example cleaning, you can call a friend in the meantime? I hear there's plenty of jobs, so maybe the same job as you're doing now is also available in a cheaper part of the country you live in, like more rural areas. People shy away from rural areas, because it's boring, but if you know half your village, it's not so boring anymore I suppose. If you like clubbing, that would be a challenge in rural places (and expensive), but I'm sure there's a middle ground, like small cities that are plenty fun and not so expensive.

[@shaunrosenberg4568]

It always makes me a little sad when I see people telling others to stop contacting friends first and then you'll find out who your real friends are. Friendship is something everyone needs to put an effort into otherwise it doesn't work.

[@neuroticallysad]

Exactly!

[@2okaycola]

People have lives happening to them too. Ignoring your friends is a sin

[@MrYFM2]

So friendships are a one way street now? It's not fair that one is putting in effort, while the other is practically absent all the time.

[@AG-iu9lv]

I contact people all the time and for the most part, nothing. I have exactly one person I know will answer, and we've been friends since 1st grade.

[@opossumboyo]

“Stop speaking to your friends” is demonstrably bad advice. Unless you are a core part of your social circle, if you just stop talking to people you’ll get one or two who will reach out, and if you don’t “hop back in” quickly you’ll lose all of them. Folks are not going to invest into a relationship that you yourself are not investing in.

[@iamcarpetpython]

Not enough people point out that parents shelter their children these days and teach their kid that predators and criminals are lurking in every shadow of they leave the house without an adult.

[@neuroticallysad]

So true. But then trying to put myself in a parent’s shoes, I’m wondering what a good balance between sheltering your children and giving them free rein would look like.

[@selkrasouza6262]

@@neuroticallysad​Honestly, as long as children aren’t allowed to go outside unsupervised, there can’t be balance. People complain about iPad kids now, but when I was a kid, I spent all day outside school playing Sega Genesis and watching Cartoon Network because I wasn’t allowed outside and my parents rarely had time to drive me to the park. When kids are barred from the outside world this strictly, of course they’re going to be glued to screens and end up with stunted social skills.

[@PeninsulaCity2024]

This seems to vary across different communities from what I personally observed whenever I go out. For context, I live in the US and there are some places that are definitely not safe. But I drive 30 minutes to another city and suddenly, its very lively, even kids ARE hanging out unsupervised and not causing trouble. Still, it could be what I can only describe as micro culture clashes because there isn't a definitive or rather collective view on what a "community" is here. Just an indescribable vibe you can feel that almost dictates if the community or space you are currently in cultivates an atmosphere of unity, or division. And sometimes, it's as obvious as how well maintained the physical infrastructure of the area is and how everyone existing in it presents themselves. Then again, the USA has its own unique socital issues so I can't speak on a global scale let alone another state within the US.

[@darkerthanblack4430]

They also don’t teach their kids about communication and people. Rather point to themselves as the best friends they’ll ever have. You even have some parents that teach their kids that they are either better than, smarter than, or miles ahead of most kids which causes them to cast judgment and not engage in any form of bonding with anyone unless the person is like them. Forming friendships now is like starting a relationship. There’s more to it, but this is a piece I picked up on.

[@dusklvr]

I would rather be alone than surrounded by assholes

[@dopytheangel]

Not me. I would talk to those assholes. I am that lonely.

[@rpoutine3271]

@@dopytheangel What does ''lonely'' as a negative emotion feels like?

[@1nONLY_DRock]

But what if you're the asshole? What then?

[@aarongarcia5667]

Ha same . I’m just a monster I guess . Me and loneliness are good friends

[@rpoutine3271]

@@aarongarcia5667 Being alone feels good.

[@ll2323]

I promise u if we had more third spaces, this loneliness wouldn’t feel so heavy because u could just meet up with some people and just spark up a conversation. Like malls, arcades, skate parks, all of these places use to be free or near free that you could spend hours with friends and random people. And kids were more independent riding bikes or walking to get places which u don’t see now.

[@brianmeen2158]

I live in a small town and I rarely see kids in groups walking around or riding their bikes around town .. at night on nice summer nights the town is dead quiet - it is bizarre that kids aren’t outside at all

[@anneb889]

@@brianmeen2158. It’s because the options for distraction are too vast. You can watch essentially unlimited entertainment, video games, p*orn, you tube videos, etc, etc.

[@MegaGraceiscool]

@@brianmeen2158 Not allowed to. Around me the only place to go are restaurants, which is expensive. No activity places.

[@teej70]

Glad I was born in 1990 and got to experience a childhood before the 4th industrial revolution...

[@neuroticallysad]

Now I’m envying you

[@notyourdad361]

Fr. I am 28 and today there are old people and cars everywhere. You would not see often young people, and if you do, they walk and look at their phone. Zero discipline. Worst time to be alive, even that at the past there were wars everywhere, at least there were communities

[@MMK86]

mid 80's here and I couldn't imagine growing up in this world as a younger person....everything has become so hallow and empty....its a such a mess and almost seems beyond repair at this point. It's sad but I often day dream about life before mass social media adoption.

[@darkerthanblack4430]

27 here. It’s stupid lol

[@Tschoii90]

I was born in 1990 too and it sadly does not make you invincible to feeling lonely. Don't get me wrong, my childhood an teens were fantastic, in regards of playing outside and making new friends... but a lot of people in their early 30s are now glued to their phones as well, have no desire of meeting up and it doesn't help that I'm trying to initiate meet ups and stuff because for this to work the other person must be willing to be more social as well. ...and this simple fact makes things a lot more complicated because now there are two variables who need to be aligned for this to work. To hell with smartphones and social media. Can't even have a conversation in real life because so many people are no longer able to have long form conversations without checking their phone every couple of minutes.

[@Galactic_EmperorRetard9000]

"its your own fault" whilst continuing to ignore the fact they didnt do their job for the younger generations when they were supposed to

[@HiImAshley]

Did not stop the greedy tech capitalists from dooming the future all.

[@huk5414]

Zeitgeist ADDENDUM

[@JelliinaCup]

Exactly! It isn't complicated to see the details and data going back in a "A led to B while C led to D".

[@KKzErstorung]

He does cover what you have mentioned here.

[@makaila8860]

It doesn't matter. This is victim mindset. YOU do the best for u. If they didn't do it well u have the power to. Stop blaming them geez. Changes not gonna happen if u keep blaming others

[@Alan-wj5zc]

Its not the kids fault its the parents who allowed corporations and billionaires to change the landscape of the world without thinking about its consequences.

[@kippgoeden]

Capitalism has run its course. The time to change is now.

[@RayWearer]

You can blame whomever you want but that's not going to solve anything

[@kippgoeden]

This isn’t a technology issue. This is a capitalism issue. Since the Cold War and the fervor of anti communism, the rise of individualism and the “grind set” is showing us that it is NOT in human nature to be isolated and selfish. We desire connection, and the world the elites have crafted for us, so that we don’t fight back, is sickening. The Western world is a society of sitting in a box, physically and metaphysically. We are all trapped unless we come together and say “enough is enough.”

[@broderickblack]

It's not a capitalist problem it's a you problem, you can't lie about shit and expect people to want to be around you.

[@neuroticallysad]

Good point

[@septanine5936]

totally agree. when it's all about profit, you can sell people individuality through products like cars and single family homes, and pit them against one another in competition for money, and force them to prioritize their own stability over others', making it nearly impossible for them to see the value of community, or to band together and fight for change. humans are stronger together, but capitalism has forced us apart.

[@thelouster5815]

No, you’re clearly just not being selfish and greedy enough. There are winners and losers, and the “elite rich” are the winners. Why? Because they’re selfish enough to not care what happens to others and greedy enough to do whatever it takes to succeed. “Loneliness” is a sign of weakness, and there’s a lot of weak people out there.

[@kippgoeden]

@@thelouster5815 thank you for driving my point home. Capitalism is a sick system that allows people with sociopathic tendencies to take out their insecurities by exploiting weak and disadvantaged people in order to perpetuate their own wealth.

[@brianmeen2158]

“The number of people that speak to their neighbors is down 40%” This is definitely true. I remember growing up in a small town and all of the parents in the area knew each other and would often walk across the street and talk to each other .. these days it’s very different - I don’t even know most of my neighbors and the locals I know don’t really know their neighbors either

[@Tschoii90]

Same. All the old folks died and the new ppl in my street don't even answer if I say good morning or something. ...FFS I WAS ALWAYS THE QUITE AWKWARD KID!! ...and now it seems that I have the best communication skills of all of those people, what the fuck is happening...

[@KhalCrochet]

One thing I've realized is that people don't really care about your issues or struggles so yeah you could have friends but would those friends really ask you about your hopes and dreams or would they just ask you to come out drinking every Friday night and have vapid conversations? The truth is people aren't interesting anymore there's almost nothing that we add to each other's lives so you might as well find a new hobby or touch grass on your own because the sun is still shining even if humanity isn't.

[@neuroticallysad]

Hmm, I see what you mean. Do you think people are just less interesting or is it rather that we became worse at stimulating these deeper conversations out of others?

[@shetlandbudgie2611]

@@neuroticallysadI think our society is becoming more vapid and self-centred. Also becoming more afraid, and let’s face it, the level of public disorder and violence doesn’t help. I do also see a gap in communication between the 60+ and under 25 crowd. The 60+ generally knows how to hold a conversation. The under 25 crowd struggles. I notice they will almost always stare at me before speaking, like in a way asking permission before interacting with me. The clues in these interaction styles aren’t the generations themselves, aside from technology; it’s who brought up these generations.

[@Zzzzurast2223]

Realest Thing sayed. Nothing Matters anymore.

[@kayj7054]

This 100% I was in my early 20's in covid times when my daughter was diagnosed with cancer. The amount of people who just stopped talking to me because I was dealing with her illness is staggering. I went from most of my cousins and high school friends checking in monthly at the least, to no cousins checking in for the past 3 yrs, even after her stopping treatment and getting better, and only 1 friend, a new one I made about a yr and a half before she got sick. That friend is the only one who still checks in almost 2 yrs past treatment ending

[@FlockofSmeagles]

@@shetlandbudgie2611The illusion of public disorder and violence. It's not to say that disorder and violence doesn't exist. Rather, that it's being blown way out of proportion.

[@brayanramirez1509]

I think the reason why we aren’t making any friends is because we can’t. I mean where can you even hang out with anyone that doesn’t cost a bunch money and when can hang out with them if everyone has different schedules you have to make an appointment just to chat. Social is just an easy and free way to talk to other people but it’s not good enough.

[@neuroticallysad]

There’s definitely more obstacles to building meaningful connections with others. Maybe that’s why we’ve got to be more intentional about the effort we put in as well.

[@dreas9236]

People are often shamed for their feelings. "It's your own fault if you feel that way" and people are denied their feelings. That can make you lonely. You are compared, shamed, blamed and told that you need to work on yourself without seeing the structural connections that reinforce loneliness. People have social needs because we have a social brain. That not everything can be rationalized and weakened with simple, abbreviated arguments. I would like people to develop a social awareness again that screens and life are like a Ferrari without rims. We are here, but we only exist

[@Kurtmind]

This also ties into this new phenomenon of touch deprivation. I have personally felt this. I haven't had a hug in years. Just the other day a former female classmate of mine greeted me and briefly touched my face, and it felt absolutely amazing.

[@ramsesjfg7668]

I recently met up with several friends that I had not seen in years, and we hugged it out at the end of the day. I then realized I had not hugged people that tightly in 10+ years. I felt so energized, and I could swear it had nothing to do with the food that I ate, but rather just the strong positive energy and sense of community I was feeling. Even now, I still feel it. Eventually, I will feel down again, but the whole point of genuine friendships is that we should be doing this for each other often enough that we don't allow that to happen.

[@bhewi1982]

I got a hug 2 months ago, it was Amazing. Seemed like ages so it really wowed me

[@studleyjb3172]

​@@bhewi1982still have your wallet?😂

[@bhewi1982]

@@studleyjb3172 yeah she didn't pick my pocket 😁

[@timsmith8506]

14 years ago my girlfriend didn’t make me give up my friends, but she would always argue if I went to see them……so I stopped. Isolated, lonely and years later I don’t even know how to pick up the pieces.

[@iceicebabie]

A person who truly loves YOU will want YOU to have YOUR friends. Why? Because they make you happy. When you love someone, you WANT them to be happy. I hope things are better/get better for you brother.

[@pimpcatdaddy]

You need to leave this girl if you hadn’t already because she’s toxic as hell.

[@mizsevenoneeight685]

You needed to grow a set 🍒 Letting someone else dictate your interactions is on you.

[@1nONLY_DRock]

That's why I joined clubs and made excuses to go out and do something. Tabletop gaming, fan clubs, excuses to go out and meet others. It's helped.

[@enterusername4650]

Well good for you! Not everyone has transportation or live in a place where they can do that!

[@wambuialice957]

"spiritually homeless" is a very suitable and on point term

[@JediSentinel1010]

Production quality is absolutely insane on this video for a channel with less than 1k subscribers! Very well done!

[@neuroticallysad]

Appreciate it!!

[@ComicStrip101]

I'm so surprised this doesn't have more views! Very well done.

[@neuroticallysad]

Thank you!

[@aritrabhattacharyya94]

Well the people watching probably dont have friends to forward it to. At least not yet anyway.

[@bighand1530]

26,994 views as of now. This was recommended.

[@max-wb6vn]

its crazy we all know that we are lonely and we want to be with people but most of the time we choose to be lonely. i want to find people to spend my life with

[@neuroticallysad]

How about we all decide to smile more often and say hi to the people we see around us! I honestly think a group effort will bring us slightly closer to where we need to be

[@jRex918]

Yeah I try to be nice to people and be friendly but then they look at me like I am weird or something. They brought this onto themselves. Don't come crying to me when you're the one judging people who are trying to be nice to you.

[@ButterfacedBri]

@@jRex918I’ve experienced this to

[@kitchnerlesley]

Internet addiction is the worst addiction there is no forced stopping point

[@bighand1530]

I think the garbage that is shown on sites like Twitter/X and Threads doesn’t help. Let’s be honest, who generally wants to be around people who get offended at everything? And then those same people wonder “Why doesn’t people wanna talk or hang out with me?”.

[@iceicebabie]

​@@bighand1530Agreed, I don't use social media anymore except for direct chatting/calls with people. Yknow... Actual socialization... Sort of at least. My face to face life has been pretty much over since I had to leave the military from my injuries. I think things are a little better for me now, but the world sure isn't.

Yeah, it is easier to stop the others because you can seek help and never utilize it again. But internet, if you just try to remove you are screwd. So you need to stop the addiction without stopping the usage

[@AceKite00]

Most times at work, when someone approaches the counter, i make an effort to talk with them. I'll maybe see their fashion sense, an item that they have and whatnot, and I'll just comment on it with a smile while making full eye contact. Most people smile back and holds a conversation with me, while others basically won't talk at all and look at me like i'm an alien. For both sides, I know that those short moments are quite possibly the only real human interaction they had in awhile. It's important to talk to others. People aren't as scary as you think. Oftentimes they're just as scared as you, even if they don't seem like it.

[@neuroticallysad]

“People aren’t as scary as you think, oftentimes they’re just as scared as you”. Wouldn’t have said it better

[@-lord1754]

Based comment and based pfp

[@unstablesyn1306]

The irony is that the only people speaking against internet addiction are people on the internet. In the 90s everyone I knew had friends, even the 'weird kids' and the 'quiet kids' all sat at one table and played D&D or whatever after school. I watched it happen in real time. Even people my age will spend their WHOLE weekend streaming content and gaming... Good luck future generations, you're gonna need it

[@silversilk8438]

People off the internet don’t see it as a problem?

[@unstablesyn1306]

@@silversilk8438 it's never come up in face to face conversation for me and I don't have a large sample size, I hope people offline are discussing it too

[@sonicleaves]

What future generations? People aren't having kids anymore.

[@silversilk8438]

@@sonicleavesNow whose fault is that? The individual in every case, the society? It probably relates to the bystander effect somehow... if no one does it, no one blames anyone for not stepping up to the plate. Some people blame the collapse of close-knit communities and families. Other say that rural and small towns are insufferably boring, so they leave home, and leave the supposedly close-knit communities for the cities. What do you think?

[@danielschrecker9996]

@@silversilk8438 The problem is that children can't grow up any faster than is biologically necessary, but society is expecting everything to take half as much time as it did 50 years go. Having families is too much of a time burden for our hustle and bustle era, for companies and individuals alike. Kids can't be just kids because there's simply not enough time to raise and care for them. If kids are out playing with sticks and rocks then some corporation out there isn't making a profit off them. They are forced to be part of the corporate treadmill from the moment they are conceived, otherwise they are a "waste." Getting them addicted to screen-time is a good investment in that they will more likely spend and consume instead of produce on their own. People producing and being independent from systems is seen as competition for these oligarchies. So... They get them while they're young or import them, if needs be.

[@Tormekia]

I have social anxiety issues and other MH stuff. On the spectrum too. I do have friends. When I'm there, I'm there. I share what I have when we're together. We can go months between hangouts but when we're back it's like one of us just went to the bathroom and came back. The hardest part as you get older about maintaining friendships is the fact that people have been hurt. Disappointed. Lied to. Tricked. There's a lot more emotional hurt to work past. When people have been hurt they're less likely to open up. Go volunteer at the old folks home. Loads of people to talk to, lots of stories, and you'll help with their loneliness too.

[@neuroticallysad]

Great advice!

[@yasmineamrani7993]

I feel like we don't speak enough about the loneliness in our generation so thank you for making this video. It is so well made and it was very interesting !

[@neuroticallysad]

Totally agree. It’s a bit of a taboo topic, but hopefully we can all make an effort to seek connection with those around us.

[@desertstormer7556]

You catching extroverts in the wild. Introverts be living their best lives out here

[@gemmeldrakes2758]

I agree. Even in the pandemic I wasn't badly affected by the lack of social contact. That being said I didn't live alone during the pandemic. I lived in the family home, so I was never completely isolated.

[@thesquad2253]

Not really i'm intro but i still enjoy the company of other ppl even though i dont say that much and am nervous to be around them

[@marcusrosales3344]

I need less social interaction being autistic, but that doesn't mean I do not get lonely. Yeah, the pandemic was nice in so many ways for me, but was I happier? I find it is just hard to find people I genuinely enjoy being around. I would rather have a few friends I can keep up with than none or too many. I've been in both boats...

[@trwn87]

What no one talks about is the fact that many people of my generation (late Gen Z) cannot relate with other people of the very same generation despite all efforts. I know this myself: I'm 16 and the only one I have are my family. And I even doubt about that...

[@trwn87]

Update: Even they cannot understand me anymore... I'm alone and wish I could at least TALK with someone. I don't even need a friend, just the WILL of random people to talk with me once...

[@George-real]

Society has kind of incentivized it. Atomized people make better consumers and pose less of a threat to the power structure. We’ve also done a lot of normalize loneliness. The whole “introvert extrovert” thing is basically just a way for people to justify their own loneliness, and anxiety. We need to work more to rebuild communities

[@DandelionSchroder]

Hypersexuality is also an issue. You can't make friends in your twenties because many people, for some reason, interpret your gestures or closeness as a motivation for some sexual desire. Especially when trying to befriend the opposite sex or a same-sex attracted person. It makes things very awkward.

[@George-real]

@@DandelionSchroder that’s mostly the fault of porn. Sex is drilled into our minds from a young age and we get a very mischaracterized version of it aswell. I’m definitely a victim of this because I’ll occasionally go drinking with people older then me I can think of a few times where I thought someone might have been trying to flirt with me or instigate shit out of a porn plot and I need to step back and remind myself I’m in the real world. It’s definitely destroyed how men see woman with them now on a pedestal with us expecting them to be some sort of object of pleasure. Ironically feminists kind of got that one right although now a days they have completely switched their stance to one that is pro pornography for “empowerment” or whatever BS buzz word of the week.

[@DandelionSchroder]

@@George-real Yes, but most "porn" is unfortunately already part of some cultural mediums like Instagram or Twitter. It used to be in magazines for private websites, but now our entire culture has basically turned into a giant porn - the pictures are everywhere online, our brain generates the fantasy by itself without the necessity of actually making scene. I think a big issue is also the loss of family virtues, wich makes teens forget about the virtue of physical affection. I grew up with many siblings and we were close, and basically dependent on each other. So I was taught to make physical friendships outside of my family as well, wich however stopped once I turned 13-14, because teens already make anything too "close" very sexual.

[@George-real]

@@DandelionSchroder it’s hard to identify the where the problems started exactly or the root cause. The main blame can go to the boomers and the wider counter culture movements of the 60s. They laid the seeds for all of this shit. All of these movements wanted to rebel again their parents and they got to enjoy the short term positive effects while we are forced to suffer through the inevitable crash. Touch is a very important part of human connection. If you read any post war literature best friends would kiss each-other tell each other they loved one another, and it was all 100% plutonic. Now that sort of shit would be confirmation that the character is gay. Even the damn word used to mean happy before being subverted. There’s certainly many wealthy gays or even just people who have political interests tied to the gay rights movement who have manipulated a lot of this and like all of these activism movements they have to keep taking and taking up they dominate the old system. I’m not sure how to fix any of this but there’s multiple angles you’d have to go from

[@opossumboyo]

I think you’ve hit on the core of the problem. Profit motive is the primary motive for much of the imperial core, and as such things that are unprofitable (regardless of their value external to profit) are at risk of being out-competed and destroyed by things that gain profit. Most of the best social settings, like the town square that was shown in Spain, are prime real estate for capitalists who like seeing people get together, but only if they buy things. Thus, those “free” events are slowly replaced by for profit programs, or the free events are littered with advertisements and corporate control methods that drive away citizenry.

[@2004jpepper]

Ever more lack of 3rd spaces. Lack of mixed zoning (at least in usa) where people could meet up at a neighborhood shop just 2 or 3 minutes walk from home. Lack of truly walkable communities. Lack of free or low cost events to be out and social. Media and social networks keeping people leary or just afraid of new people and talking to others around you. A general less willingness to hang out in person. Abandoned social connections, friends, and individuals we know, over ever smaller things, ever smaller disagreements, mistakes, misunderstandings, and even inconveniences.

[@malumnexus7919]

There's also cancel culture and saboteurs that go out of their way to ruin things for other people. Boy Scouts, for example ...

[@baizhuwaitingroom7057]

honestly, if it wasn't for my boyfriend, I'd be in that position too. my best friend from uni has her own life now and we rarely speak, let alone see each other. I'm also very shy and find it difficult to open up and take initiative, but my boyfriend has always put the effort to keep his friendships alive, and by extension he tries to encourage me to do it too and incudes me in his social outings, and thanks to that I started talking to some people on my own. greatly appreciate to have him there with me.

[@neuroticallysad]

Yes, I think romantic relationships are directly tied to social circles as well. For some people it replaces the heavy need for friends, for others, it helps foster friendships. I’m happy to hear you’ve been able to make an effort in reaching out to others.

[@HexNebula]

This is incredibly well produced :) wishing you nothing but success

[@neuroticallysad]

Appreciate it 🙏🏾

[@gamezswinger]

Forcing connections/relationships also doesn't work. It's fake as f*ck. For example, conformity can influence people to enter into insincere relationships (for example, as an adult, the pressure to conform to having a partner has produced half of all married couples to divorce). Bottom line is, life is much more different than our tribal hunter-gatherer days, and it's making us sick. When I think of loneliness, I think of Father Damien Karras' mother in The Exorcist, living in that small dark apartment…. #PrioritizeAuthenticity #DepthInRelationships #Solitude.

[@opossumboyo]

The man’s answer at 4:17 surprised me. I grew up on a farm, had few social interactions outside of school, and felt incredibly lonely until I was able to drive myself. Family is nice but they’re not going to be enough. I’ve moved back home since then and there seems to be even fewer social opportunities, unless you fall into a specific social demographic. I feel like kids in rural america have the same problems that kids have in cities, except there is genuinely no opportunity to socialize rather than just a perceived lack.

[@neuroticallysad]

I would’ve thought that there was more of a tight-knit community in smaller areas. So would you say that it’s just as bad in rural areas as in big cities where people are isolated in their apartment?

[@James_36]

@@neuroticallysad that "tight-knit" community is not all it is cracked up to be either

[@opossumboyo]

⁠@@neuroticallysadGreat insight, and I agree that everyone seems to think rural america is like that. Sometimes it is, especially in towns that have some kind of unified religious or cultural symbol the area is known for (mormon and amish communities are much closer than secular ones, for example). However, i’ve noticed a sharp drop during my lifetime in the general trust and love between members of the community. Folks who used to spend time helping each other on a regular basis are more secluded, there are far fewer events going on, and the ones that do happen are essentially just ways to sell food. The 2020 pandemic closed down most of the businesses in my hometown, and while some have recovered, the folks who owned them have either sold them to outside investors, or have become far less capable of hosting charitable events as a result of the loss of income. I think the worst part of COVID-19 was the loss of trust, though. Rural america is very conservative and conservatives were bombarded with ideas that varied from “the lockdowns are killing your businesses” to “the virus is a fake disease that is being used by the global elite to take over america”, and very few of these theories had a socially positive aspect. Some folks genuinely went mad down here, and some of them still haven’t recovered. Not to mention the final big trend that has harmed rural america since long before I was born; there aren’t enough young people here. My family owns a farm, and we struggle a lot to get workers. Lots of our neighbors hire immigrants, not because they want to support them (they most certainly do not, get them into a coors light and you’ll find out what they think about “Mexicans”) but because they are willing to do hard labor for cheap. I moved back home because my family was seriously struggling with the Farm. The classes at my local high school have been graduating less than 30 each year, and a vast majority of them move to whatever city they can afford the moment they are free. I did. There’s nothing to do around here, why would I want to stay? My apologies for the long answer. I’ve been to the city and back for multiple parts of my life and I have a lot to say about the rural/urban social divide. I have empathy for folks in the city who are lonely, I most certainly was when I moved there, but I realize now that I had way more opportunities there than I do here. And that’s if you live in town. I lived a mile away, in the middle of a massive corn field. I had one friend who lived half a mile away growing up. He’s a great guy but looking back, i’d have changed my entire persona to be his friend because I had no options. It’s rough out here.

[@boggybeard]

@@opossumboyoI loved reading your thoughts on this. I might also bring up divorce rates. As more couples split up, so does the child’s custody. I lived with one parent in the city for school, but my weekends were spent with my dad in the rural countryside. Gorgeous place, loved the nature but I never made any friends there.

[@sonicleaves]

Telling people to just go out and try to meet people and engage with them is ridiculous. Everyone else is also at home on their phone so how can I engage with them?

[@jackiepie7423]

14:38 ",,,because of zoning laws..." these fordist policies were set to facilitate the movement of traffic, the reason why policy makers loved fordist policies was because the auto/highway/oil industry employed so many people. when the usa hit peak oil in 1971, we moved from industrial policies designed by the ford motor company to just in time policies set by Toyota, aka Toyotaism. (doesn't quite roll of the tongue, no wonder it's more often called JIT). the problem is the cars, kidz not social media

[@revolutioninc7081]

Cars and social media contribute to a lack of community 🤷‍♂️

[@jackiepie7423]

@@revolutioninc7081yes but people alone in their two ton toys have been so for a very long time now. 70 years to be exact. all the while killing 1,4 million a year and and taking out the rest of the world with it. the worse that can be said of "social media" is that it encourages you to do so, but it does have the advantage of letting millions of kids see past the oil industry smoke screen known as isr eal. thank you yoc tac toe

[@Leitz_Music]

This a wonderful video, thank you. Something I’ve noticed is people are genuinely more guarded and worried of not fitting in. But that in turns isolates them more, it’s a catch 22. I also think people don’t feel like they’re nearly as interesting as they actually are - so they don’t share. I agree with a previous comment in this section. That people don’t actually care about your issues or struggles. I think this makes people less interesting as they aren’t willing to discuss the really important topics aside from surface level. Or putting some slang overtones to desensitize/put a humorous spin on their struggles. I had a conversation with someone I think it was last week, and it wasn’t even that deep. But it struck me as odd when he pointed out that he felt like he was in therapy with the conversation we were having. And to me, it didn’t seem to out there to discuss our what’s going on with our lives. It’s just so sad that society is moving in this direction. It’s like we make ourselves lonelier because we don’t want to be the one person willing to break out of the norm.

[@neuroticallysad]

That’s a good point. We’ve grown to feel weird sharing deep personal experiences and talking about subjects that are less surface level as you said. It might partly be because people think what they have to say isn’t interesting enough, yes.

[@Moonlight12315]

I feel people became judgy and less reliable. And we dont want to share personal experiences because a) if its something really good, they´ll be jealous, and that brings whoole other problems. b) if its something sad, they wont care and will take advantage of your "weaknesses". Its like everything is a competition now, money and success became more important than anything.

[@markumoeder]

Phone addiction could also play a big role because you condition yourself to achieve higher screentimes and not being social, addictive phone app companies just compete to let its user's focus the most.

[@UncleNinjaa]

I work nights in a factory, and nobody at work or in town is like me. I see my wife and kid only on weekends, can't get off night shift, and the rest of my family is out of state and never calls. What the fuck am I living for?

[@paprikagames]

atleast u got a family tho

[@doktor_ghul]

It's never going to be good enough to watch people on any social media, and send them likes or comments. It's empty mental calories. It's like talking to a photo. Having people in the room with you is always going to be better. We're connected, but we're not THERE. You can't reach out and hug a screen. You can't do anything more than talk AT someone online. It's impossible to talk WITH someone. You can't offer someone a coffee, or show them how you feel, or be THERE for anyone. Being there in person is immensely better than talking to a phone or a screen. You can't swipe away from a real person RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU, and we need more real people RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU. I know I do.

[@karolwithaz]

Here's the Truth: We are born Alone and at the end we will die Alone. It's okay to be alone and it's okay to feel lonely but you will eventually have to learn to be okay with just yourself because at the end of the day you are all you have.

[@neuroticallysad]

I agree that you’ve got to be comfortable being by yourself. It offers time for introspection, self-development, etc. You’re born alone, you die alone, but does that mean you’ve got to spend the time in between by yourself?

[@karolwithaz]

@neuroticallysad Exactly my point and the answer is, No. Meaning, meet people, go to places, talk to strangers and cherish the time spent with others all while being aware of your own being.

[@neuroticallysad]

I see. Yeah, that’s fair.

[@ophideas]

@@karolwithazI understand your point but I have some hope that we aren’t alone at the end. I’ve heard the hospice stories and I hope it’s true

[@theintrovertedaspie9095]

We are social animals. We're hardwired to be interactive. Prolonged solitude and withdrawal from socializing can have damaging effects on our mental health.

[@MarlKitsune]

I'd say the lack of 3rd spaces is a big nail in this coffin. Even if i leave the house where am i going to go? I might get arrested for going to the park. There's no malls, no community center, not a single place that's not blaring music or demanding silence. And every one of them but the library demands money to not get kicked out.

[@adamyang6667]

super important topic. someone had to make this video, and im glad you did it so well. thank you

[@neuroticallysad]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@tightlondon]

This lonely time which I don't believe will ever end but will get worse has escalated my meth addiction and alcohol addiction which I don't think we'll end either.

[@Leangreen69]

Gen z is still young and most are still in their ego stage of development where they think their perspective is the only one and can’t see the big picture. Social media has amplified a normal part of growing up into more radical antisocial behavior.

[@DearStephanieX]

New sub, this video is needed 🙏🏽. It’s kinda soothing to know I’m not alone in being alone 😬

[@neuroticallysad]

“We are all alone in this together”

[@MikuHatsune159]

The thing with socializing and whatnot is that it's a simple task, yet not many people do it. I don't see people of any generation engaging with others unless they want something from you or it's somewhat a forced interaction. Like, sure I will most likely keep to myself because it's a social courtesy in most ways....as if I would barge into a conversation between two friends catching up over a coffee and mad gossiping over something I have no idea about. Not everyone is receptive to that kind of thing. Unless I sit somewhere busy with a sign asking people to socialize with me for a few minutes, people would never notice. I probably can't even do that because I look too suspicious for onlookers 😂😂

[@neuroticallysad]

You’d actually be surprised how often people would positively receive your interruptions. Obviously you’ve got to be socially aware and can’t just barge in as you said, but finding myself sitting right next to people at a cafe, having a conversation, overhearing something interesting and interjecting has sometimes led me to very interesting conversations. Now does that mean I became lifelong friends with these people, definitely not. But it brought some value to my day.

[@sonicleaves]

Being alone is not as bad as people say it is. Solitude can be very freeing.

[@septanine5936]

being alone and being lonely aren't the same. solitude by itself can be healthy, but solitude almost everyday, all the time, without any companionship is detrimental to the body and mind.

[@thesquad2253]

only when your tired of being around ppl and need a break

[@DJBEARZ]

bro your clinically underrated this video is INSANE the production quality and everything bout it is soo good

[@neuroticallysad]

I appreciate that!

[@jacobtorres1707]

What a fun little video thank you for sharing

[@KaloyanNachev1994]

Bravo, sir! I hope this project reaches a lot of people.

[@neuroticallysad]

Happy you enjoyed it.

[@ChromeBullet007]

This was an amazing video! It’s very refreshing, and takes a more positive approach towards this lonely epidemic we’re all experiencing. Look forward to more of your videos! Amazing work, thank you :)

[@neuroticallysad]

Appreciate the compliment!

[@najwaflowers8038]

Outstanding and very thought providing video❤

[@ArchArrow1]

Great video, important video. My daughter is your age and my sin is just a few years younger. It's very concerning. I'm going to forward this video to them and open up a conversation to get their thoughts. Keep up the great work.

[@neuroticallysad]

Appreciate it! Happy if it can help

[@-jl.]

I love the loads of viewpoints from both young and old.

[@neuroticallysad]

Always something valuable to learn from all sides!

[@CorrosiveH2O]

I was homeschooled for most of my childhood so I never really had close friends. Infact I never made a true friend until I was 17. I believe the only true friendships you can make are friends you meet in real life. Online doesn't count, yes I have friends online, but I wouldn't consider them true unless I actually met them. Which is why I make the effort to make plans for everyone to meet at some point.

[@watchmehope6560]

For me it's the opposite. All my online friends are the only friends that stayed with me unlike real friends that were just there for the moment . Because we had no other choice in school. These online friends, ive been with them since middle school. Now we all have families, careere. Etc. And we still game and talk constantly.

[@charlesheyen6151]

sharing this with everyone i know! thanks for this

[@neuroticallysad]

I’m happy you found value in the video!

[@modtyrant1784]

I went outside to make friends and i just got shit on at the game store. Just completely disrespectful try hard nerds. My co-workers treat me like a criminal but i'm one of the FEW people that goes out of my way to help people who just get ignored. I been there for 10 years, i'm polite, courteous, i hold the door open cause its heavy, i don't want people to get hurt. I find that teaching my self how to be more selfish has improved my life since i won't get burned by inconsiderate people. I think since i'm shy ( but brave ) people just disregard me.

[@MC-wm1ob]

Being alone is a bless in a hell of world like this. The only true friends I have are the childhood ones when Canada was okay. Now I just want to go postal. Tired of this system and its people.

[@Ton_Tonn]

Great video, it can be hard to go out and make connection when social media makes it feel as though everyone around you hate you for existing, but I've found finding a hobby you enjoy, then finding a club or class or way to do it with others to be very beneficial. If you fit the bill for religion, maybe give that a go, but if you're excluded on a basis you can't change, try to find some other group or club to join. Its hard at first but generally you warm up and other warm up to you if you're open and kind to them.

[@neuroticallysad]

Thanks for sharing some advice 🙏🏾

[@RyanTooClutch]

Really good vid. so many thoughts running thru my head from watching

[@neuroticallysad]

Thanks

[@pastsubstance2930]

Most of us are going through a mental health crisis. We don’t want to drag anyone one because if we are real, we risk being ghosted easily compared to the past.

[@pastsubstance2930]

The good thing about being friendless since Elementary school is that I put more effort now to make friends and learned the lesson that friends are not handed out to you.

[@bananaspilt1988]

It takes all of us to be brave and take control of your life. Be the change you wish to see in the world and always keep trying you may not click with everyone but everyone is looking for a connection you just have to put in the effort

[@ekointhavong4771]

great video, very well done

[@neuroticallysad]

Thank you very much!

[@kobaeyashi]

Great video, I personally am young with the perspective that the lonliness my peers go through is due to a lack of the want to change. Going through the journey is enough for everyone to eventually realize & correct their selves TL;DR I wish their were more young person old soul perspectives mentoring our youth

[@tinkerbellrock]

thank you

[@SaharatOfficial]

How do you not have more views? If youre new i hope you blow up from this incredible video

[@neuroticallysad]

Thanks for the kind words!

[@hydra_28]

Amazing video ❤

[@neuroticallysad]

Glad you liked it!!

[@Raging-Lion]

Social media, car centrism, and letting our government run rampant. Start in your own communities and the rest of the world will follow the good examples.

[@neuroticallysad]

I agree!

[@timeeater2007]

That's it. I'm gonna make an atempt to call my friends. if they don't awnser they don't. but mabye my atemt lighten their day.

[@Soulute367]

"Its better to be lone then keep bad company"

[@essbee1641]

I feel lonely often. My core group of friends that I had from high school all the way through college, we all live in different cities or states now. I’ve made some work friends in my current city, but I feel like the friendships are only surface level, and once people start new jobs and move on, we lose contact. It’s getting harder for me as I get older, and as I move up in the company. Being a manager, I have to tread carefully with friendships with subordinates. I’m also single and childless which doesn’t really help because most people my age (late 30s) aren’t.

[@elihyland4781]

This is fantastic

[@neuroticallysad]

Thanks!

[@dreamingacacia]

My experience is that I tried my best to be the best friend and I gave people my trust and honesty first. But the problem is friendship isn't a one way street. You're not friends if both sides are not thinking so. The problem is that this happened even before the social network boom. I was amongst the first in my generation that spent my life in the online community more than real life, and I noticed even before 2006 that I felt lonely despite millions are surrounding me. The prove that I put more effort in building friendship is that I neglected myself for at least 10 years since I was 12. When I was 22, I experienced so much traumatic events to the point that I started to enlightened and came back to see myself once more. This year I'm hitting 32, I basically have no friend. I'd say it's better this way than having plastic friendship and cause miserable feelings. People are too competitive and willing to cut each others down just to step up for even 0.1% than before. I blamed everything on capitalism, but who knows what's the real causes for why people are so plastic.

[@d3thtr4p10]

It’s interesting to see this. Like most young people in this video, I’ve grown up and developed alongside social media. The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve started to avoid human connection. My opinion is, if you’re lonely when by yourself, you’re not in good company. I never feel lonely and a good game or book is infinitely better than a conversation.

[@RyanTooClutch]

10:20 I learned how to talk and proper communication at age 7-9 when doing Karate. Being respectful, learned about bowing, eye contact (depending on culture), simple things we arent taught, and it starts with the parents... There isn't a right way to parent but there's def things you need to teach your kid and in most situations, parents don't teach you what not to do, what the world is about. I also will never feel lonely because of my close immediate family but also my brotherhood, my pledge brothers and I take vacations, go out to bars, smoke n chill. Because facetime isn't everything nor does it give us the proper oxytocin

[@xB0505]

Great video

[@neuroticallysad]

Thanks!

[@cedricnicholson7446]

I coach people who have a lot of different challenges when it comes to getting out and making friends. There’s multiple layers to loneliness that I can’t fully address. I will say one layer is that a lot of people know there are multiple ways to meet people but they do nothing because of having too many choices. When faced with a lot of choices people sometimes won’t do anything and the cycle repeats itself over and over.

[@n3nashe]

This is a really good video 🤝

[@neuroticallysad]

Thanks!

[@survivingthetimes]

Everyone is so stuck on themselves, it's no wonder.

[@billy_flyers]

I am unable to make friends at the moment due to recovering from my traumatic brain injury. Instead of feeling sad constantly, I am working out, and reading books composed of the gothic genre. Hopefully when I am able to get out when I'm adequate, I will look good, and talk about my hobbies!

[@neuroticallysad]

Sorry to hear that and get well soon

[@billy_flyers]

@@neuroticallysad thank you!

[@williamramos3350]

Fear and constant judgement. I see it and experience it for many years. The Internet has only amplified it. The worst thing is that It may never be resolved.

[@edgeofthemap]

hey man i just made a video about the same topic, this was very neatly put together- nice work :)

[@neuroticallysad]

Hey, thanks! I’ll check it out.

[@Badger8200]

I do feel very alone even with people around me. Just the pressure of life, to be somone, to provide, to "man up". Love to anyone else that feels lonely.

[@dmb219910rulesify]

saw jordan peterson subscribed!

[@Roni5]

Elvis, you're a legend man :)

[@neuroticallysad]

🙏🏾

[@Bregylais]

Great video, easy sub.

[@neuroticallysad]

Welcome to the gray area!

[@anthonyforzano6503]

If you’re having trouble making friends because of nerves remember that, at the end of the day all people want is connection.

[@neuroticallysad]

Yes! Sometimes all it takes is to reach your hand to the person next to you

[@sarawilliamson5420]

Funny that being too poor to afford video games, living alone or a car makes you form a social support system so you don't die.

[@jakkuwolfinsomnia8058]

People lose their humanity because of the internet and social media. They disconnect from reality and they see the world through their own views instead of adjusting their views with the reality. We can communicate via social media but we are social animals that need physical connection, physical engagement. It’s frustrating to achieve that through a screen

[@tulip811]

The adults in our lives all failed us and themselves..... We have to teach ourselves EVERYTHING it's exhausting.

[@E9Project]

I've never heard so many people tell my story without even knowing me. 😢

[@ErikYehl]

I find comfort in being lonely. I’ve never really liked by anybody. Nobody ever wanted to be my friend. I’ve had a few relationships and friendships in the past but nothing really lasted. Suffering from addiction I’m just focusing on making money and eventually to stop drinkin.

[@m1r197]

You're not alone in feeling that way, wish you the best man.

[@donovan5656]

D&D has given me a vehicle to make and retain friendships but even then it can be hard

[@Roni5]

Huge respect for making the types of videos you make and your editing/storytelling is very very good. Capitalism. That's the number one reason to friendship crisis. Ever noticed how people in general need to have an environment available and encouraging to just act as ourselves and open around others. Well typically in the western world, it's designed for labour to profit efficiency

[@juneyw.]

ive been feeling this way for 2 years now, constantly in my room surrounded by my own thoughts. but whats the point in making friends when its so time limity, everyone wants to be friends for a few months, maybe a year, theres no point in starting a relationship that you know will end.

[@neuroticallysad]

That’s the bargain that you have to take with life. Things can definitely go the wrong way, but there’s a chance they turn out great too, and that’s why you take the bet. Maybe that new connection will only last a month, but it could also last a lifetime. You don’t know, and that’s what makes life worth living in my opinion.

[@brianmeen2158]

@@neuroticallysad true. People these days want a guarantee that everything will work out and that they will not feel discomfort - that just isn’t reality.. I’ve noticed the younger generations especially are very averse to discomfort altogether and that’s a bit strange

[@saswitchcraft7881]

@@brianmeen2158 Yes, there is a trend in terms of aversion to discomfort, and there is also repeatedly losing the friends you make over and over again "because that's life" until the point that a person develops an aversion to pain they've already felt multiple times. All the connections made in high school? Gone. All the connections made in college? Gone. First girlfriend/boyfriend? Gone. I think more people develop aversion after experiencing a pain *at least* once, and that aversion increases after each and every subsequent failure, than there are people who are avoiding a pain they've never even felt in the first place. People have generally never liked anything that always seems to start out good and then shits on you. That's not a new thing, that's human nature. Nobody likes getting jabaited. You might be able to encourage a person to try twice, three times, maybe even 4 or 5 or 6 times, but there comes a point where they will not try again. Different people have different levels of tolerance for this. This is even true of rats by the way; studies show that smaller rats that are always beaten into submission by bigger rats during play will eventually give up and stop. playing. entirely. Tell the average person this and they will assume the worst, assume that repeated failure can only be explained as their own fault. Sometimes this is true. Other times, people actually have really shit luck, and telling them it's their fault is basically just gaslighting them, and will only contribute to their negative headspace.

[@johnm9263]

look, i do feel lonely but quite often, even my friend group drains my social battery very quickly i can survive alone, i can be happy alone but i wont be as happy as i should be

[@badpopmusic]

Good content! Sound levels might need a look in the future.

[@neuroticallysad]

Thanks for the feedback! Just wondering, is it too loud? Not loud enough? Or is the background music problematic?

[@jamieoliver4710]

They grew up with social media which is inherently anti social.

[@moonbun690]

I love your accent!

[@neuroticallysad]

Haha, thanks?

[@KangJangkrik]

Being alone because in these days, good neutral people are mostly stay silent and people with self-centric interest (even though it sounds like good for many) always trying to be friendly. Last time I chatted with random person at a train station, he ended up begging some money because he missed the train due to his pregnant wife. That happened three times! aand then I decided to be a quiet, closed person, for my own safety.

[@nicholasgutierrez9940]

I liked and subscribed. Good work, good interviews. Would you like to know more?