Why Absent Fathers Harm Children and Ruin Society

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[@ryanmatthews3609]

think you can make a video about absent/bad mothers?

[@OG-MONK-NUMBER1]

​@@ryanmatthews3609 Maybe he could make a video about all the fathers who spent thousands in the family courts trying to be a part of their children's lives. He appears to be absolutely clueless about the issues surrounding fatherless children.

[@karenholtzclaw3135]

😐😔

[@secretbassrigs]

​​@@ryanmatthews3609 they turn into serial killers or dictators. Nuff said.

[@secretbassrigs]

​@@OG-MONK-NUMBER1 you sound absolutely clueless. How does the video leave that out? You 🦤

[@spellcasterneo]

It hurts. It really hurts not to have a father growing up. But you know what is more of a jabbing stung to the gut, is finally meeting him and realizing you were better off without him...

[@jae3542]

Had this experience unfortunately but at least I know now and feel better knowing he wasn't worth knowing than forever wondering what could have been.

[@jenjenloves4558]

Same y’all! ❤️‍🩹

[@HOLLASOUNDS]

Yes My sperm donor is a waste of space and I shall piss on his grave when He is dead.

[@deeb.9250]

sadly in this club

[@rockstarofredondo]

I don’t even know what it feels like to have a dad. He left us (for drugs) so early in my life, I can’t remember it.

[@db1777]

While there are alot of absent fathers in society there are also those fathers separated from their children by the legal system and abusive mothers which is much more common these days.

[@cushyglen4264]

As a father who was shut out of his children’s lives by an abusive mother who poisoned their young minds against me, I thank you for posting this.

[@ryanmatthews3609]

so why not just make a video about that?

[@she5139]

"which is much more common these days" source ?

[@sapien377]

Nobody is taught how to choose a decent partner 🤷‍♂️

[@dl3472]

@@she5139 what do you mean source? Who instigates divorce? Who gets custody of the children? Use your brain and connect the dot

[@jjonsb]

I grew up fatherless, I knew who my father was and visited him a few times growing up and just recently at age 30. He bragged about putting his wife’s daughter through college while I literally got nothing from him. I never tried to hold back tears as much as I did during that visit.

[@Hap_Shaughessy]

Shit I would have said something, that's fucked up.

[@4bidden1]

I would’ve left without saying anything

[@NickatYouTubeSucksJK]

That’s f’ed up. Also though, did mom ever apologize for reproducing with the wrong man?…probably not I’m guessing. Daddy just wanted to get laid and mommy interpreted it wrong.

[@Okayme8080]

😢

[@pauld9561]

Boohoo

[@EmanuelCrag]

We don't need just any father. We need good fathers with values and love.

[@blackworld2395]

Sorry, but america does not respect nor deserve good men, good husbands, nor good fathers. Why? Because they are not appreciated by society or the females that is produces.

[@Supreme468]

You also need virtuous women who will choose those men to procreate with because the “nice guy” isn’t popular with women. Something that was not mentioned in the video is the female choice in the type of men she chose to father her children, they usually pick dysfunctional men

[@BellaZ209]

@@Supreme468that is not what the video is about! 😂

[@risevision1080]

​@@BellaZ209but should be, women are conpletely ignoring the nicer a d gentleman like men for abusive men

[@ibnebatuta4868]

​@@Supreme468no none is doing that buddy You have seen wrong side

[@Mentherex]

My wife worked in a government funded daycare for poor families, special needs kids or new citizens. There was only one male daycare worker in the whole building, and he was a 50 year old man. The children, especially boys, loved him, he was the closest thing in their lives to a father figure, or any male figure that actually paid attention to them. It was actually heartbreaking seeing how much they needed a man in their lives.

[@MaBoJo1]

thanks for sharing, thats wonderful....

[@gogogolyra1340]

Do you have any children with your wife? Why is she taking care of other peoples kids instead of her own?

[@Mentherex]

@gogogolyra1340 yes we do and yes she watches ours, we own our own daycare now, this was years ago

[@4h844]

@@gogogolyra1340 what a dumb comment lmfao

[@eeaotly]

@@gogogolyra1340 Because that's her job.

[@anc2242]

I grew up without a father and I will never abandon my son. The love I have for my boy is endless.

[@uchihaitachi01117]

👑

[@jurassicthunder]

you dropped this 👑

[@mickael2501]

Just be careful not to overprotect him.

[@epapuelvalve3250]

king

[@kyrohowe3156]

Such a king 🤴

[@user-yq9hv5ou2n]

Having an absent father has made me realize how much my mother has gone through to fill that gap for both parents. She did the best she could and I will always remember that type of love she has for me for when I become a parent. Although it is upsetting seeing all the others kids with their fathers and knowing I would never experience that, I never felt unloved because of the amazing job my mother did. Thanks mom, you're the greatest parent I could have asked for.

[@NickatYouTubeSucksJK]

If she was the best she would have had the skills to pick a man that would stay around.

[@ammi5311]

Single mother story likes vs single father story likes 😩🫦

[@ammi5311]

@@davidgarcia5593 bru was trying being funny, don't think too much about it

[@Getout634]

@@ammi5311what

[@Alaninbroomfield]

Oh give me a break

[@gregwooldridge8864]

My daughter brought home a fartherless 19yr old. He wants to help me with everything and sticks to me like glue . I've been teaching him basic skills in life into building a good family home. If my daughter marries him would be great will love him as my son.

[@averageasian292]

My sister is divorced- resulting in a child with no consistently present father figure. I still remember how his eyes lit up when I picked him up (5 years old) with no effort and swung him around playfully. He snuggled into my chest and arms as I could tell he felt something he never felt before; strength, security and power all in one motion. It hurt me to see that he does not experience something like that often.

[@MatheusCarvalho-ev9hw]

This reminds me of a little boy of a single mother. She was so promiscuous that his father was unknown. He adored me. I didn't see him many times, but everytime he was so happy to have me around. Poor kid.

[@willissudweeks1050]

And the father was perfect and she left him for no reason? Unlikely

[@averageasian292]

@@willissudweeks1050 Your assumption would be correct. He had an affair.

[@willissudweeks1050]

@@averageasian292 ok well then don’t blame your sister for everything

[@averageasian292]

@@willissudweeks1050 What implies I do? I just simply said she was divorced.

[@andrepastor4844]

I denied that having an absent father affected me for decades, until I grew up and had my own children. I then realized how much a child needs his father, and have made this my commitment to my own children, nephews, and community by coaching baseball.

[@willissudweeks1050]

Ok Chester

[@mariahrossi3072]

Good for you. As my kids have grown I have noticed that fathers are not stepping up and taking leadership roles in the community, except in sports.

[@willissudweeks1050]

@@mariahrossi3072 What exactly do you mean by leadership roles? I don’t think you’re making much sense

[@JohnnyDLaw]

I wouldnt know where to start if i had a son of my own,21 years old and havent seen nor learnt anything from my father,most my uncles/cousins (the actual males that are in my vicinity are themselves "absent fathers")

[@Someone-vq6jk]

@@willissudweeks105047 comments all attacking other commenters, why are you so upset?

[@tenzinsoepa7648]

The best thing a father can do for his kids is Love their Mother.

[@Mothermochi]

This.

[@abyzz4419]

ONE of the best thing. And it goes the way as well. Children often hear about their father from their mothers due to fathers being away from home due to work. So based on how one's mother is,there is a huge possibility of a child falsely seeing his father in a bad light. Which is on the main reason for why we see many divorce cases in which the child stays with mother eventhough the right is in the father.

[@Jozeha]

I don’t know what’s worse fathers that stay and terrorize their family or fathers that leave their family.

[@captianpicard1055]

Both are equally bad in their own ways

[@small_dropin_the_big_ocean995]

Stay together till death put us apart approach is nice but I am questioning the same thing as you.

[@icyunvme2400]

I’ll rather a father that leaves lol rather have an unknown than a bad experience.

[@kaplingnag7267]

the ones that stay and terrorize are worse

[@hansalanson3497]

If he has nothing even close to a redeeming point? Better be absent then.

[@UnschoolingCOM]

“What society does to its children, so will its children do to society.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero [De Officiis]

[@andrepastor4844]

This is a great quote, thanks.

[@dylanbuckle114]

Agreed. This is wisdom. Thanks for sharing

[@drivebypoet]

Man had it figured out nearly two thousand years ago.

[@quietrebelstrength1399]

Powerful!!!

[@trevmorin]

I hope so, we all wanna the politicians and media stars in cages or any fate worse than death

[@UnschoolingCOM]

“His heritage to his children wasn’t words or possessions, but an unspoken treasure, the treasure of his example as a man and a father.” ~ Will Rogers, Jr. (1879-1935)

[@rejectionistmanifesto8836]

This channel typically does good analysis but fails miserably in this video. 80% divorces are filed by women, when college educated its above 90%. 58% divorce rate includes all ages buy is much higher in younger 2-3 generations. Women almost always given custody of the children and false accusations are a defacto tool used. Almost all alimony and child support goes to the woman. With all the incentives millions of men are destroyed along with their children by women filing divorces for any reason. There is no shame and courts system get billions from men's payments as a cut. With such perverse incentives the mothers often find men after they has their fun just to marry and divorce till we now have a word called starter husband. So many brag on video that the husband wasn't a bad father but the woman just bored with him. None of these and more points were even approached by this video, for shame and disservice to the viewer

[@SofaKingShit]

My father is basically an emotionally dysfunctional nasty piece of work. Seems they have kids too. Not sure what my heritage is, decades of addiction, anxiety and depression? Personally I'm pretty certain l would have been better off without the prick.

[@Shay416]

Beautiful

[@patienceobongo]

I've tried leading by example but my family are too retar,ded to notice

[@Romans-10-9-13]

@@patienceobongo You are a terrible leader then.

[@yippykiay13]

I thought I was fine growing up with an emotionally (and more often physically) absent father until I had kids of my own. My husband is such and amazing dad and I’m SO grateful to have him, but it does hurt knowing I never have and never will have a father. There’s a man in my life who supported me financially and sometimes lived in my house. That’s it.

[@camembert147]

Having a emotional absent father is basically having no father… its sad

[@lemarmessih10]

This is ABSOLUTELY true I've never seen my father, infact he denied me and escaped responsibility. So mom raised me solo. To be honest, I have serious social problems, I don't have friends I don't trust people, in fact I hate people, I am afraid to talk to girls, I am always lonely, I NEED HELP

[@jeremycrochtiere6317]

If one can't enjoy one's own company no one else is likely too.. Loneliness can have many roots and in today's modern era, technology can disconnect us not only from reality but also with ourselves and Nature itself. What brings you joy, or is something you have an interest or passion about, something that lights you up inside. Gets your spirit and imagination soaring, Feed that creative spark, Find a way to make it real tangible, Use music, or art, or science or paint, The world is an Artististic Mess and An Artistic Masterpiece depending on how you look at it my friend. And EARTH with out ART istic expression In it is just Eh. Find what you enjoy, what you find fascinating, and have share online, any skills? Don't like people, yet how about Teaching? Or hiking, if you have hobbies find others that share I those hobbies, community is important, and mutual intellectual, artistic, athletic, or naturalistic Groups can help foster new avenue to get to know people, with similar interests.. If you like Reading There are many books that can help, We often get lonely because we are lost in our thoughts, what ancients called Monkey Mind, Or our thoughts turn cyclical and repeat for example when transfixed or obsessed on a particular thing. Know your not alone, and that not everyone is a hungry ghost like so many seem to be these days. Look within, center and calm your mind, Let the ripples of thoughts and judgements settle, until in the stillness of your awareness beyond thoughts, you'll eventually come to realize that We are never truly alone. At our core we are all connected.

[@geocentricsense5287]

The problem is that you’re just a momma’s boy.

[@joscrase9564]

@@geocentricsense5287😂

[@316jun]

Hang in there dude. Try to make some good friends. Friendship is the most underrated relationship but can make your life so much better

[@TheKing60210]

​@@geocentricsense5287dude shut up. This is a person needing help and you're mocking them

[@cyberpunkfalangist2899]

My father largely ignored me my whole life, and I grew to despise him, especially in my 20s when he couldn't belittle me anymore without me pushing back. To this day, I consider him the embodiment of everything in the modern man that I despise, a fat, meek consumer who is only concerned with his material possessions and pushes people around weaker than himself from a position of safety.

[@chocochipcookie1875]

Same story here, I tried so hard to make it work until I grew up and realized he's just a weak, immoral man who got a kick out of abusing his defenseless kids because he did not have a nerve to pick on someone older. Narcissist who can only think of himself.

[@fionagrant2023]

l agree

[@RayofLight-od2pb]

My father is the reason I despise marriage and immature/ lazy men. Better single than with a man like that. He was physically there, but verbally abusive, diminished me and was an ass. No emotional work with me and no bond. He could be gone right now with bag in his hand and I would not notice :D

[@mapuggs]

boo hoo

[@bluemoon1115]

My dad passed away right in front of me when i was 11. His addiction ended up killing him and, sadly, i didn't get to spend very much time with him because of the former and because of his job. But, his last words to me always hit me: "Don't waste your life being angry at the world. Live your life to the fullest." Though he wasnt around long enough to see me grow up, i hope through all of my ups and downs that i live up to what he said.

[@poetaenlaluna]

Those were his last words? Sounds made up

[@AnaBanana-yk9px]

This is heartbreaking 💔

[@kclarke2971]

I am sorry for your loss, I was touched that those were his last words. I only have memories of my Mother having only one mood. Perpetual anger. I know she suffered in so many ways, but her anger had a greater impact than my Father's absence.

[@mochamommyATX]

Addiction is the silent epidemic that causes so much of the fatherless epidemic

[@bluemoon1115]

@poetaenlaluna They were, actually.🤨 He was pretty cognitive up until his last breath. I know that he said that because he spent a lot of time drinking and being angry. He was really controlling towards my mom and he would always pick fights with her about anything. On the last week before his death, he spent it apologizing to her. I know I didn't have to explain myself, but I felt like maybe if I added some context it would help. But, just because you weren't there to witness it doesn't mean it didn't happen.

[@jaybaker2351]

This hits home. I’m a father to be, my wife is 2 months pregnant and I have every intention of being as kind and wise and present of a father as possible! Which is much more than I can say for my dad.

[@Cherryblossom18634]

You got this ❤

[@mich5131]

Respect 🫡

[@JessiContingenC]

Best of luck

[@bermado808]

godspeed

[@K_M.G]

Congratz. All the best to you and your wife.

[@jeffa.8976]

I think an absent father is better than an abusive alcoholic one.

[@hollow2530]

I understand what you’re saying 100% but can you explain in detail

[@MXPayne]

​@@hollow2530I know this is not the original commenter but perhaps this can help answer your question a bit im 19 years old going on 20 and I've dealt with an alcoholic father my whole life substance abuse has been a common theme in my household because of my father the environment is just simply toxic and unpredictable sometimes your whole day can be ruined because your old man had a bit too many to drink liquor tends to bring out the worst in people so imagine having a big drunk bully as your parent constantly on your back about the littlest of things and punishing you if you slip up in the slightest way possible it just depends on the type of person as well that's drunk you tend to have happy drunks sad drunks and if you're unlucky enough you can have an angry drunk as your parent and now you have to take into account not just your own personal safety but also the safety of your mother or siblings for example being the oldest I've had to monitor my dad and stop him before things would escalate if such a situation would occur there's just a lot of different factors and what ifs in the situation but I strongly say I would rather have no father than a abusive alcoholic one

[@entropy59122]

I kind of had an absent father. My dad and mom work in different districts, so he lives with his elderly parents and he only visits on some of the weekends (it has always been this way), and he's also quite misogynistic and close-minded. I don't know if this is his fault, but I do think I have daddy issues. My mom basically raised me and my sister almost by herself, my dad only ever stays for two days and sometimes 4-5.

[@entropy59122]

I kind of had an absent father. My dad and mom work in different districts, so he lives with his elderly parents and he only visits on some of the weekends (it has always been this way), and he's also quite misogynistic and close-minded. I don't know if this is his fault, but I do think I have daddy issues. My mom basically raised me and my sister almost by herself, my dad only ever stays for two days and sometimes 4-5. I don't really connect with him on an emotional level, I don't know if it's just me or if it is his fault. All I know is that that I am a 19 year old female with daddy issues.

[@personreanimation]

False. Look at black america

[@SleeplessMomma]

I grew up without my father, I somehow always knew how important it is to have your father. My children have both parents, together.

[@nick2788]

Yeah it really fucks people up. As I get older it messes with your mind especially since most men are completely alone working dead end jobs with no relationships or any prospects.

[@Rabbi-Jill-kews]

Great so I still have a chance

[@cinereus3601]

Noted

[@buckfiden1228]

@@Rabbi-Jill-kews having an absentee father, can cause you to be a better father. Because you know that pain.

[@secretbassrigs]

​@@Rabbi-Jill-kewsstop being a CCP shill. Rabbi- how does it go again? 😡

[@davidcoalkey6074]

My father was in the home, but very absent in the ways that matter. At 17 I joined the Army. Years later I've often reflected that the Army filled the role of father for me.

[@ericwilliams626]

My brother did the same thing in the Marines. Yes, the military is a psychological, disciplinarian draw in young men's minds. Embrace your decision and realize you had needs. We all do.

[@islambale747]

Brother, I have lacked a strong male model until I met my Muay Thai gym coach. Before he came along to resurrect me and become the kind of man I always needed in my life, I had no one else to discipline me the way he did. Certainly not my cowardly father, who whines at the slightest inconveniences and hovered over me all my life for fear that I might get hurt. I'll always be grateful to the almighty for bringing Sensei Hafiz into my life. Knocked the petty resentful wimp right out of me and made me into a well rounded man with a civilized mind and a body savage. I wish the best for the other folks out there that has to grow up with helicopter parents.

[@maryfrances1307]

I thought about this in-home absence while watching the video, except from a gender perspective. My children’s father was in the home, but worked to usurp my role as a mother, while neglecting his own gender role. So essentially, my children had two mothers and no father.

[@willissudweeks1050]

@@maryfrances1307 You sound like a real battle axe

[@CHITOWNDEECON1]

That's exactly what the military is looking for

[@user-wr6zt9lh7n]

Absent father, abusive mother are actually one of the characteristics when it comes to psychopath serial killer. Along with it, poor, low social recognition, etc. In the movie 'Joker', the directer depricted this very well

[@thecrimsondragon9744]

Not always the case though. I believe Ted Bundy was one who actually had a good upbringing and loving parents, but still turned out bad...

[@somethingclever9975]

My father was emotionally absent, I made the decision to remove him from my life as an autonomous adult. The stress he brought me and my mother messed me up, but in the end, my mom somehow managed to challenge us like how the textile industry challenged her, and even though it wasn’t perfect, I think she filled in the gaps pretty well. I mean, I somehow got into art school despite everything, so something must have gone right.

[@nicholasschroeder3678]

I didn't see my father his last 40 years of life. I can't remember a good word from him, nor any solid advise. He worked, he paid the rent and food, but other than that it was a void. He always seemed bent of defeating me. I spent my 20s and 30s unconsciously looking for a father figure, but I seemed to gravitate towards either similar cold and ruthless men, or the opposite--fun and irresponsible. I finally realized I simply had to be my own father.

[@johngoldsworthy7135]

Amen. Congrats on your realization

[@nicholasschroeder3678]

@@user-ye4bu6xh4c Well, he did provide physically, but all the physical beatings weren't all that protective. He did train me to fight--I'll give him that. I'm a bouncer, and a very good one. Don't make trouble at my club--it won't go well. Happy?

[@shrunkensimon]

​@@user-ye4bu6xh4c There is more to raising a man that just mere physical protection. You must be fairly young to not understand why that is the case. The emotional, intellectual, philosophical/moral spheres are vitally important to development. It is the difference between raising a boy to be a man who is little more than a confused animal, and a man who can conquer a nation with words without the need of sharpened steel. Providing base security is the absolute minimum. All animals are programmed to do that.

[@nicholasschroeder3678]

@@user-ye4bu6xh4c I said I'm a good bouncer. The reason I am is that I listen to people and talk down conflict. I've got the tough in reserve, but very seldom need to resort to it. In short, it's my "feminine" qualities and sensitivity to feelings that make me good as an enforcer. Basically, I think a man needs both. My provider father spent the end of his life suing everyone, and he lost and lost all love and connection to people in his life. His viewpoint that all is conflict was essentially wrong; being "tough" all the time is actually lazy and weak: the softer character qualities are just as essential, and demand the same courage and discipline. I'm sorry, but I just can't agree with your POV on this: being a man, a human being actually, requires all of it--hard and soft and knowing when to fight and when to yield. Getting things done, yes, you have to face hard reality unflinchingly, but you're also going to need help from others, and you're going to have to get along. Feelings ALWAYS come into play: yours and others. It's the guys who never acknowledge this who burn out and crash. My dad was such a one. Really brilliant guy, but his difficult personality cost him advancement in his career, his family, and ultimately just about everything worth having in life. His funeral was attended by two nurses, his accountant, a woman who stayed with him only for his money, and my sister (who thwarted the predatious woman and got the money). Sad end.

[@chaotic.interference.processor]

@@user-ye4bu6xh4c ... and yet here you are talking about how you feel. Your opinion offers nothing constructive. Your first comment it is "You guys...", your second comment is "We only.." Are you confused and angry? Clearly you were here for a reason. Was is to further your understanding, or just to troll and vent?

[@UnschoolingCOM]

"The ultimate test of a moral society is the kind of world that it leaves to its children." ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer

[@seankingwell3692]

Canadian society hates babies and children. All about vaccines and abortions. People are replaced here not born as much

[@nellkellino-miller7673]

Yes. A message many do not want to hear. We are part of a miraculous living, breathing ecosystem. We are not here for ourselves. We are merely an extension, a protrusion or appendage, of this world and by extension the whole universe. We can choose to be custodians of this beautiful garden we've been blessed with, leaving it lush and abundant for our children, or let it all rot and burn in pursuit of one measly lifetime of empty pleasure.

[@nenyeo6090]

@@nellkellino-miller7673 that was beautifully said❤

[@theextreme7134]

@@nellkellino-miller7673 Man's fallen nature will never let us live in a beautiful garden ever again.

[@nellkellino-miller7673]

@@theextreme7134 I dunno man, I'm sat in a beautiful garden right now. Sure it's a mess. There are some weeds and a bit of trash, but nothing an afternoon of work won't fix. "Man" is no the centre of the universe, but we can align ourselves to it. If nothing else, it's worth a try. Got nothing to lose but everything after all. And everything is just a wink of the eye and blinking stars ( I stole that quote ).

[@Thomas_Angelo]

I had my father for 16 years before he passed away. These 16 years were the most important part of my life and he taught me to understand people and their needs, how to flourish in this environment and just how to be a good man. I feel sorry for all the people whose father just left them. That's just something so valuable lost forever.

[@TheRebelliousMeatPuppet]

I think there should be minimum requirements and standards for being able to produce children. My father is a narcissist that abandoned me at 9 months old and left me to be raised by my narcissistic mother and no father figure. Growing into Manhood had it's challenges for sure.

[@charlottetaylor4471]

Do you have any practical advice on how to properly grieve/mourn this loss? I can't get over it ❤️

[@PopNailStyle]

It takes a village to raise a child. Before the nuclear family, grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends, and neighbors all worked to help raise the child. It wasn't unusual for children to go from house to house. It's more than just fatherlessness, it's the profound lack of community in modern society.

[@PopNailStyle]

This also goes for the rise in rapid industrialization and global commerce. Prior to industrialization, it was the father's duty to set his son up for work. The father was the direct example of how to provide in a very literal sense. Today, it's the opposite: children are expected to leave the household and find work for themselves, often in vastly-different fields than the ones they watched their parents working in.

[@LvUhcX]

💯

[@willypal5431]

It takes a village to raise a child is a lie. It only takes both parents, a working man and woman at home.

[@yamataichul]

I agree, I wasn't initially raised by my parents but my grandparents. I didn't form a primary bond(s) with none of my relatives, I've seen them all for who they are and to some extend it helped me understand later my parents divorce. The worse aspect of my childhood is during Middle school, work and mental health took a tool on my mother's well being (at the time my primary caretaker), but she and I were not left alone by family friends and family. People of any kind matter, as long as you care about someone and show it to the best of your abilities, it could lead to miracles at times.

[@some30yearoldvirginwhofant46]

The nuclear family has been the family structure for a fair amount of europe before christianisation, and practically the only one after it. The standpoint that industrialisation or capitalism created nuclear families is historically incorrect, however, I do assume that one reason why this falsehood persists is because of many nuclear family countries losing their sense of local community, nuclear families aren't supposed to be fully atomised, atomised nuclear families are failing nuclear families and that is the issue we're seeing today in the western world. For more information research emmanuel todd's sociological works.

[@vandolmatzis8146]

My Mother died when I was young and my Father was mostly absent.I was lucky to have loving siblings who nurtured me.I am proud to be a Father to my two sons.

[@projectmooham]

My father wasn't abusive, was physically around, but he's the biggest loser I have ever seen. Count that as absent too. This explains a lot in my self-examination. Thanks.

[@BecxyBoo]

What annoys me is it's always the single mothers who are blamed and not the fathers who abandoned their children. I understand relationships don't always work out and can be messy but you can remain amicable despite the separation for the sake of your children. Edit: Obviously it depends on the situation though as there are some mothers who actively do everything they can in divorce court to try to stop the man from being able to have a relationship with the children which is awful, that should only be the case if the father is genuinely abusive.

[@garyoakham9723]

Fine then blame the fathers. Don’t blame all men then. Funny how women will blame all men but never even name their baby daddy

[@BecxyBoo]

​@@garyoakham9723 What? Did you read my entire comment? In the edit I wrote it depends on the situation some mothers are awful and will do everything in court to try and stop the father from having a relationship with their children which is horrible. In some situations men just abandon them it depends entirely on the situation. Either way, though the woman is blamed for being a single mother even if it wasn't her fault the father left.

[@silenthawkstudios9924]

"it's always the single mothers who are blamed and not the fathers who abandoned their children" I've literally never found a single case of anyone ever blaming single mothers in my life, and I've found plenty for people blaming absent fathers.

[@hearteu5260]

​@@silenthawkstudios9924you must not leave the house often then, I've seen single mothers blamed left right and center, so much as to men pulling their "statically proven, single mothers ruin society" yet refuse to share sources, pathetic I'd say and also a desperate need of them to win no matter how low they have to go for that for ex, lying 💀

[@whip-whiplash]

@@silenthawkstudios9924the top comment of this entire comment section is literally someone blaming single moms and then the replies in it are more ppl blaming single moms..

[@azsunburns]

Abusive, immature, porn, alcohol, drug, sex addicted, lazy, unloving fathers are even worse. I was raised by a single mother. I know how traumatic & difficult it can be for mother and child. .. But I've also seen what horrible, unprepared, immature parents can do to their kids. All children deserve their loving mother and father, their roots & to be considered & planned ahead of time. Sex isn't a toy.

[@evangreenberg1666]

Ya I’ve seen first hand what unready parents do to their kids. Some so unready and childish that they blame their own kids for being born when it was their fault for having sex. Literally gives their kids problems for life. Used to forgo hugs from their own kids when asked. Luckily that person I know was just born with a good head on their shoulders but my friend has some problems and doesn’t really see their mom. Nothing bad. It could have been worse. But my friends mom was not prepared nor was my friends dad who seemed like a decent person because even with his drug dependencies and schizophrenia, my friend talks more highly of their dad who is gone than their mom who is alive. My friend said he at least tried and was good a lot but just had his issues and sadly passed a few years back. Unready parents ruin kids thru all sorts of means. I’ve seen it.

[@azsunburns]

@@evangreenberg1666 it's also quite perplexing to see kids who have had horrific childhoods turn out far more than ok. I have quite a few stories from my own childhood, but one that stands out - I know a woman who came from a large black family, dirt poor. Her mom was fairly promiscuous & had 3 or 4 bad husbands, numerous kids. The last child was given to a nanny to raise. Even tho they weren't rich at all, this woman handed this child over to someone else, yet this child was still around all these siblings. She grew up always being on the outside, treated as less than the rest of the family. She was extremely hard working & bought her own home. The rest were fairly messy. She got involved with a man who was terrible for her. Later in life she said she cried out to the Christian God and this husband ended up doing a ton of drugs and dying in his truck. This gave her a large insurance policy & to this day her mother lives with her & she cares & talks about her mother with nothing but love. I've been to her house. I've met her 90 year old mother. I've eaten lunch with her & 2 of her siblings. I've listened to her life stories & she's one of the most sweetest, kindest, joy filled women I know. My mother also had an exasperating childhood. While she loved me dearly, overall joyous & made a lot of good choices, her pain glowed through her eyes & her abilities to cope with the world. I love listening to people's life stories. I just hate to see the pain they cause themselves & others❤️‍🔥

[@Hoodinator17]

The certain community in America made of a certain minority has a big problem regarding this issue (hint they rhyme with sack and it starts with B)

[@azsunburns]

@@Hoodinator17 politics sure has helped

[@tarodfowlkes3934]

@@Hoodinator17only scum make light of an issue they have no ambition to fix

[@cruzan8183]

My father was kind and loving towards me. Being a poor immigrant my father was unable to obtain his ultimate educational goals. Fortunately, he had the pleasure of seeing me achieve what he couldn’t. He’s gone now but he lives on in me.

[@yinafrentz]

"He’s gone now but he lives on in me" ❤

[@EnclaveHater07]

Damn.

[@laius6047]

That's gay

[@shadowstorm5261]

@@laius6047 grown man with a beard can't behave. shame

[@RowShawnBow]

Forever we will carry on our genes and ancestry, for our forever is to our death. However, wherever we look, there’re people who not only look like us, but have somewhat similar personalities, thus reaffirms Gods simulation, for we humans are finite. There are many like us, but there’s no one exactly the same.

[@drunkduck8073]

My dad passed away 1 year ago. He was my dearest friend. He loved me, my sister and mom so much. Growing up I had trouble understanding how so many of my friends had trouble with their parents bcs I expected everyone to be like mine. It took me some time to realize how truly blessed I was. My dad was a great philosopher, psychologist and very logical but also emotionally intelligent (for the most part). He was always my biggest cheerleader. Him and mom agreed on a marriage with only one condition: no divorce. Whatever happens they will work through it and try their best. I'm so thankful for him being my father and I miss him everyday.

[@alisharosamusic]

My heart goes out to everyone with an absent parent 💔

[@hrosch]

I work with primary age students who have behavioral and emotional problems. Almost all of them either have absentee or abusive fathers. In my professional experience, the lack of a positive male role model is one of the most detrimental things to a young child. I strongly admire all the men who are present in their children’s lives.

[@j.2512]

the problem lies with female hipergamy and their hibristophilia, attraction to sociopaths. They will reject, abuse, hustle and divorce good men but breed and suffer for bastards with antisocial behaviour.

[@mcdaici]

hey, i have huge respect for your job, how do you keep calm in stressful situations? what keeps you going? do you often feel worn out at the end of the day? you dont have to answer but it would help me as im working with the elderly in a gym. I dont know how to motivate when im not in a good mood. I dont think elderly and primary students have too much similarites but you might have some wisdom to share! have a good day

[@inevski]

Your professional experience is limited. The emotional problems may present differently. Or the abuse may be concealed behind closed doors of coupledom.

[@AH--173]

We don't need to commend them. We need to chastise and punish those who refuse to give their children their rights.

[@o0GrayMatters0o]

"i strongly admire all the men who are present in their children's lives" so a man gets strong admiration from you for meeting responsibilities that he himself created!? no. the role of father does come with respect, yes, but raising a child you created is an unspoken obligation that simply allows one to avoid the title of dead-beat p.o.s. anyone that brings life into this world and is not present is simply a dead-beat p.o.s. all others start at the base-line level of doing what they should. dad's that do a good job and are 100% present are in the same pile as those who try.

[@SuperCheeseUs]

How damaging is it to an infant when left 40+ hours/week with strangers at daycare? It only adds to attachment and emotional issues, IMO.

[@leoborros]

Thank feminism, women voting and entering the workforce for that

[@Jenny_Lee_]

It doesn't have to be like that. You can work different shifts so both parents are the caregivers and a aunt or grandma can fill in once in awhile. We have to be realistic here. We are stuck living in the society we inherited. Not the ideal society we wish existed.

[@flinchfiles8445]

@@Jenny_Lee_ Bingo! That old excuse of, "we both have to work to make ends meet", is so old and tired. My husband and i worked opposite shifts to actually raise our kids, no need for them to go into 50 hours of daycare a week. Why even bother having kids to just shove them off to daycare? I've never understood this and never will.

[@Originalman144]

I agree, daycare is very detrimental, crazy that people send 3 month old infants to daycare. The infant should be with their mother every day for the first 4 years of life. I've seen kids who go to day care come home very unruly because the day care lets them run loose without structure and lax rules.

[@froggydragon738]

why does women voting lead to kids being put in daycare @@leoborros

[@veronica-mew]

My dad is the best guy I know. He worked like 5 jobs when I was little and we often only got to spend time with him 1 or 2 days a week, but it was cherised and special. Even if we just played at home, it was always more fun when dad was involved. It breaks my heart that so many kids and adults have/had to grow up without that experience.

[@bigw725]

my dad was mostly absent. First due to divorce, then due to his military career. After about age 7 I began mostly only seeing my father during long summer visits. These visits were highly stressful for me because my father and stepmother were not very warm people and expected things of me that were not part of my normal life. One of the many things that always stuck out to me was that I would get in trouble for laying on the pillows on the couch because “they were for decoration”. I was always on edge, trying to be on my best behavior because I was always messing up in ways i wasn’t even aware i could mess up. My mother started dating a man when i was six and married him when I was 8. He was incredibly physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive. I ended up in an inpatient facility due to suicidal behavior when i was 8. It all culminated in an event where he beat me badly when I was 10 or 11. I don’t remember what i did, but when he came home from work he gave me five minutes to put on as many clothes as i could. I got three pairs of jeans and a snowsuit on. He then beat me with a bath brush. I remember my legs giving out after the first hit, but he just kept going. I was screaming at my mother to please help me. Please make him stop. She was ten feet away washing dishes, and didn’t even look up. He eventually finished. A couple days later I was at my aunt’s house after school and she apparently noticed I couldn’t sit. She told my grandmother and they devised a plan for her to “accidentally” walk in on me while i was using the bathroom so she could get a look at my bare skin. She ended up just taking me into a room and making me pull my pants down. That very afternoon she took me to the department of family and child services, where they asked me questions and took pictures of my bare ass while my aunt held a ruler up to the bruising. My mother and stepfather divorced within a couple years after that, but I never had a functional home life or relationship with my mother. I don’t think my father ever learned about any of this. Now, over 20 years later, I’ve failed to grow and heal and have ruined my own life with terrible decisions that i can’t blame on anyone but me, but I never really had much of a chance anyway.

[@user-uv7bk5rk2c]

I am so sorry that happened to you.I hope everything just goes well from this point on.

[@jeaninewilson2170]

I’m so sorry that has happened to you, I pray that the days ahead are filled with much healing, joy, love, and peace. Be kind and patient with yourself. Love is abound, I know I’m just a stranger online but I hope and pray these words give you a bit of solace.

[@Nathan_091]

I'm sorry you had to go through this. You are not alone. May God the Father Jesus Christ help you and be with you always. He is a Father to the Fatherless. I'm an only son to my mother and I can attest you that Jesus Christ has been my only hope and survival in this life. I wouldn't be here without him. God bless you!

[@spiritlevelstudios]

🥲

[@allthingsnewlife]

It's never too late to start again. It's an incredible testimony to your resilience and strength you survived this far, none of it was your fault with a loveless, Godless, hellish childhood. Jesus wept at the evil He witnessed. Regarding messing up, you just gotta want to slay your demons, we've all had to fight inherited battles we didn't ask for. There is a life and purpose for you, have you ever heard of Kinsugi hope where the broken pot is repaired with gold becoming more beautiful than ever. There's also a film about Loius Zamperini "unbroken" he too suffered sadistic brutality, he remained resilient just like you. Keep going friend, one day it will all make sense ❤🙏🏻🔥 pain has taught me the greatest lessons.

[@Mishina375]

As someone who grew up without a father I can only confirm, that my stepfather sees me more as a competitor to him than a companion, which is a very accurate explanation of his behaviour. Thank you for sharing these helpful videos. Keep up the great work!

[@Berserkism]

Your mother brought him into the home over you, think about that.

[@chrystianaw8256]

​@@Berserkism?

[@Tokmurok]

​@@BerserkismYeah my mum never got a boyfriend or another husband because she knew it would cause issues with me. I always hate the guys who are into her anyway.

[@inevski]

​@@Tokmurok she did the right thing. But everyone loves to hate a single muv, until the well-rounded children are adults.

[@willek1335]

"Sees me more as a competitor to him" What exactly did he do?

[@David-ww2sg]

As the son of a physically present but emotionally-unavailable father, much of this video resonated with me. I really dislike blaming others for my problems, but I think my lack of self-confidence and esteem that I have felt for as long as I can remember likely had something to do with the fact I have little to no memories of my father when I was young. I'm not even sure if he is even aware that I was bullied at school. I hardly saw him in the house, and when I did it had that same feeling of being with a house guest you don't know too well. I hope that everyone here can heal as best they can, and put an end to the generational cycle.

[@thestream1]

Healing and strength.

[@asanvigyan9275]

Absolutely spot on from my experience too. Hope our generation will heal ourselves and become better father's.

[@JuliaShalomJordan]

Amen.🙏🏻

[@MaBoJo1]

You arent blaming him for your problems. You werent given some basic care. You didnt choose to be born, but once you were it was on those folks to care for you.

[@EyeSeeThruYou]

I don't see this as blaming on your part, but as a realization that his behavior had direct (negative) consequences for you 😢

[@damianenever7059]

My dad was the exact opposite of an absent father, if there was even a remote chance he could be there to support me, he would be there, no matter the distance or cost, he would be there for me. I plan to be the same for my children some day

[@Cherryblossom18634]

Count your blessings ❤

[@Iustusxi]

This is why we stress the importance of not having kids before marriage, staying with one partner, not sleeping around, etc.

[@LilacZ373]

Socially it works out better and it gives you time to think and grow into a person who is ready to raise a child 💯

[@Alessia-Antonia]

👍🏻👏🏻

[@squirrel670]

abuse often starts after marriage or pregnancy, when they feel they have you. It doesn't protect. I was had after marriage, planned even. My father was a pedophile and I caught him in the act.

[@Iustusxi]

@@Donley76 lol this is why we stress the importance of not doing adultery. This is biblical stuff bro.

[@nessesitoburrito8873]

Simple abstinence will protect you from STD and a bastard kid.

[@jlloydb1of9]

The problem of fatherlessness is greater than we know. Not only are there families with fathers missing completely, but fewer fathers that are at home are acting like men: "We make men without chests and expect from them virtue and enterprise." - C.S. Lewis

[@j.2512]

soy and gynocentrism

[@michaelnurse9089]

For some, acting like men means beating the kid to an inch of their life for blocking the tv. You need to be really specific about what you mean by that, as traditionally many men were hunters or warriors, and it was simply better to keep kids away from them, as many social animals (rats) and primitive societies do/did.

[@maryfrances1307]

@michaelnurse9089 This is a great conversation. For context, I’m a woman. My definition/ impression of a man is a male who stands firm on traditional beliefs and does not go the way of the wind or trends. A man understands his role as provider protector, and his wife’s role as nurturer. He creates a space where these roles can be played. A man does need to be firm. His children should respect his space.

[@EdiTheDon]

In hunter-gatherer societies, boys were taken away from their mother's at a certain age as part of their initiation into manhood. When they returned, they were more mature and, more importantly, could now contribute to society and eventually provide for their own family. That initiation into manhood is missing in modern society and has led to 20-30 year old men (and women, as they had their own initiation/maturation rites), acting like toddlers. True conservatism is holding onto things that are in line with nature. So much of what constitutes modern society is alien to man's nature, which is why everything is going wrong with us mentally, physically, and spiritually.

[@jlloydb1of9]

@@EdiTheDon I like that you say *taken* away from their mothers...if only more women today understand 'the devouring mother' as well as they assume 'the aggressive man'.

[@flinchfiles8445]

As a fatherless daughter, it's not just the fact that he wasn't around. It's that you have no idea who you are and cannot ask any questions as there are no other living relatives to draw back on. He died recently & it's like a void that will always go unfilled. BUT, you can never play the victim card, just get on with it as the f^ckery will mess with you for the rest of your life, do not allow it to power over your life, accept it, deal with it and move on. You're not alone.

[@TheRahsoft]

sorry to hear that do you not have any access to material/ other people/family members memories about your dad? my own daughter is in this position because her father was erased using religous law. have always been concerned as to how she will cope with her abuser custody parent( who abused both myself and our child) anyway. wish you the best of luck in coming to terms with it

[@Originalman144]

I hope you can forgive your mother for keeping you away from your father. I am sure he loved you but he could not deal with your mothers constant antics. Most absent fathers love their children but they are pushed away by the controlling and hurtful mother. The mother also tries to turn the children against their father, which is very evil.

[@Scapegrace74]

As a fatherless son, I think I have a pretty good idea of what you have expressed so well. We must learn from our experience and keep on keeping on. Best wishes.

[@flinchfiles8445]

@@TheRahsoft No, unfortunately my grandmother came to the States from Norway, (legally), with him when he was just an infant, she married a man who had come to the states just a few years earlier than she and my dad. She took her new husbands last name, changed my fathers first, middle and last name. Everything is a big secret and I have come to grips with it, realizing I will most likely never know anything. If your daughter comes up with the same situation, I hope she will realize that it simply is what it is and life goes on, with or without answers as to who you really are. It is unfortunate, but as I said initially, the head games can drive you mad, so the choice to be made is do the best you can do in life and move on, in the end, it really does make you stronger, if you can adapt and accept. Good luck, your daughter is very fortunate to have such a caring mom.

[@flinchfiles8445]

@@Originalman144 That is usually the case and in my case, she did a doozy on him, as well as the kids. However, when he bolted, he remarried and adopted 7 or more kids (7 that we knew about, with an additional 3 step kids from his new wife). He made national headline news for wanting to adopt another infant who was found abandoned and dead, but he wanted to give the infant a proper burial and a name. When you read a nationwide news article about this "saint" of a man wanting to adopt an infant that was found dead & drowned, no biological or familiar ties, whilst abandoning his own biological children, kinda plays a head game that takes a long time to unstring and make sense of. Both Parents were a mess, but that's life and the blame game can only last so long. Some people are born with wonderful, loving, nurturing parents. Others are born with rotten, no good parents. It's just the way it goes and you've got to make your way in life, despite those distractions & disconnections. It's unfortunate as heck, but you cannot force people to love you, not even a parent.

[@maidabrowneyes5822]

My oldest sons dad left when I was pregnant and I raised my son well without being in a toxic relationship. My sons brilliant, intelligent and popular at school and came first in English literature and maths and now his dad is fighting to be in his life. I said I don’t mind him seeing him but he’s taking it to court cause he wants to go down the legal route and make it official. I’m so glad I raise him without an asshole of a dad who would’ve most likely controlled and treated us badly. Thank god or I would’ve been too stressed out looking after my son and his dad who’s behaves like a child

[@white_tulip2189]

I highly recommend for people, especially younger women, to read the book “white oleander”. The protagonist is a young girl and her mother is one of the most well-written, unique characters I’ve come across in any medium. The book shows a lot about what a narcissistic mother and absent father, or any figure who properly loves her, does to a coming-of-age person.

[@rayyanshobowale7110]

Thanks. Will do.

[@white_tulip2189]

@@rayyanshobowale7110 thanks

[@truvy_5544]

Shout out to the fathers that stayed and wasn’t abusive; it’s sad it’s so rare now

[@JaneEva]

My brother is this kind of man! :)

[@templekanu6740]

Stop the nonsense of attaching Men to abuse. Women can be as abusive if not worst. People forget injuries but mental abuses are far more harmful

[@1merllin1]

Men are usually the ones physically abusive while women mastered emotional manipulation and other devious tactics to make their men's life as miserable as possible. This also probably plays alot into the 80% male suicide rate opposing the other disparity of women dying by domestic abuse more often. But the former is much harder to prove because emotionally manipulative people also prove to he perfect liars so good luck getting those statistics opposed to the ones you can physically prove.

[@trebhum_]

The "and wasn't abusive" is a big factor to consider in this shoutout. As much as there are shitty dads that disappear.... I'd rather have that happen than have a dad stick around just to objectify, neglect, or outright physically assault their kid...

[@trebhum_]

​@@templekanu6740notice how whenever men get defensive about their societal image, they always frame their arguments in this comparative light to women. Why not just talk about absent or abusive and that alone? Somehow, some way, men can't help but say, "SHE STARTED IT THOUGH! 😢"

[@csj9619]

Big props to my dad. He always took care of me, wasn't mean or violent and sacrificed and busted his ass for us. All of that is amazing to me, considering he really didn't like me all that much.

[@j.r.f9589]

He didn’t like you much, he loved you unconditionally or he wouldn’t have done what he did for you. Many old school men didn’t express emotion cause it wasn’t the manly thing to do.

[@Hoodinator17]

The certain community in America made of a certain minority has a big problem regarding this issue (hint they rhyme with sack and it starts with B)

[@Santilasso318]

Get therapy

[@johnbishop9621]

​@@Hoodinator17back?

[@lapeaches8006]

​@@Hoodinator17Oh, it's absolutely terrible but what was your intention for bringing it up in the colorful way that you did?

[@leetun444]

My father has been the role model and inspiration of my life. Just the thought of losing my dad one day is sad because he seems to be the only person that gives a shit about me the most when others don't. My Dad is like my best friend, the only real person I've ever been around. Nothing fake or sugarcoating. If I do have children one day, I hope to become the responsible man my pops raised me to be. Don't become a shitty parent. Raise your child well if you are capable of doing so and make their life your number one priority because when they grow up, they'll make their main priority YOU.

[@Jason.Goldstriker]

Damn that’s crazy I honestly can’t even imagine what thats like

[@seeriktus]

I grew up with a good dad, but what I've discovered and found strange getting older, is that young guys without fathers seem to treat me as some kind of father figure. Although I see them as a friend, they'll listen intently, follow my advice and copy me, as if trying to make up for something that to me is straight forward. It's a strange feeling as a childless wifeless man. Planting my foot in the ground and using my own 'strength' is something I learnt early on as a boy, and now comes naturally, but they seem to lack.

[@nessesitoburrito8873]

This is so true I had a buddy who grew up without a dad and we was always close. He knew I grew up with Dad but as we’ve gotten older dude told me you’re so much like your father I said why of course I’m pretty sure I came out of his nuts. Half my chromosomes come from that man it would be strange for me not to be anything like him. I take it as a compliment, to be honest.

[@nzingahoney]

​@@nessesitoburrito8873😂😂😂😂oh my goodness that is something only a man would say

[@danieldamata9199]

I've experienced that, although my father's absence was painful, whenever he was around was somehow worse. Some people are just bad for your health, and it often happens inside families

[@CrownHetman]

My role model was my grandfather. After he died when i was very young my life changed. Growing up mostly surrounded by women, it was difficult to find someone who understood.

[@Mishina375]

I can understand that very well. I have never had a father figure growing up, surrounded only by my mom and her friends. Paradoxically, I struggle to communicate with women and often see them only as friends. I've only been in relationships when the girl made the first move, but those never lasted more than a month as I failed to maintain them. Because of this, I fear I'll be single for life.

[@anthonyagureyev307]

​@@Mishina375Can very much relate to all of that bro..

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

Understood what? I can't believe how awful my 17 year old son is to me. I do wonder what it is I don't understand.

[@Autojones]

Well, I would dare say it is NOT male or female that makes the difference in the upbringing. it's who they are as individuals. I had a VERY strange upbringing . My Dad would do anything to help me or my brothers if we needed it. I learned a great deal from him in politics, Philosophy, Drawing , metal and wood working. but he was mentally abusive . He would not think twice about publicly humiliating us or belittling us . (Even at a very young age) My Mom on the other hand would never do those things. She was a strong independent woman who was always encouraging . so to with my Grandmother (on my dads side ) they were never patronizing or overly mothering but so easy going. I truly believe my mom is the reason I didn't lose my mind in my youth.

[@algorithmgeneratedanimegir1286]

@@SusanaXpeace2u If you are a single mom, you deserve it. You deserve all of the awful treatment your son gives you and a whole lot more.

[@dz7090]

I grew up in a single parent household with my wonderful Dad (due to a tragic passing of my mother), along with 2 of my siblings. He was a reliable, patient, hard working man who provided good basic care, stability and love, and taught me much about being a responsible, independent adult. I'm grateful for how he shaped my life, how much he quietly and lovingly sacrificed for us, and his influence was priceless! I can't imagine how different I and my family might have been without him.

[@plasticbag2886]

My father is present, but growing up, mentally he wasnt and even now hes not really mentally present. He does nice things in the spur of the moment but mostly taunts us whenever he feels like it, just like doing good whenever he feels like it. I dont know how to feel about it. He used to be abusive, but hes stopped as we're older. Now im just stuck between the old him and new him. Sometimes I think that it wouldve been better off if i didnt even have a dad.

[@KellyKelly-qd7my]

Yes! Mothers are not enough. My dear Mother cried about all her life. It was very difficult for her trying to fulfill both roles which is in reality is impossible.

[@RicksPhatPharm-vw2lb]

No not enough, the bloody appauling! Single mothers do nothing but destroy the youth. Today man understands why the law favoured father's, women are to self centered and feel nothing for noone. Nothing lasts forever and women will get no sympathy when laws revert back to before feminism repealed fatherhood under law

[@shalgomirama]

bruh no but why would she 'cry' all her life? +some people did tho

[@KellyKelly-qd7my]

@@shalgomirama Because it's painful to fulfill both roles at the same time. Yes some women do but 💯 they have a support group made up of her sibling and parents. My Mother had no one to help her.

[@shalgomirama]

@@KellyKelly-qd7my indeed but yet , some women can do both while staying at home , they can work from home , or get a land and become land lords when they have children

[@shalgomirama]

@@depanchas8575 then pick a job when they can be with you , be a doctor To kids or drive their school bus, and yeah both Will do if you organzied ur time , work from home maybe?

[@pathfinderwellcare]

What I wonder is how romanticized is this proclamation in relation to reality? Meaning, when in human society over the last 3000 years were there not massive gaps in fatherhood? Consider the fatherlessness due to raiding, wars, slavery, accidents on the job, poor health, etc. Also, the father present but absent emotionally or the violent, bitter father who feels condemned by a life in marriage with responsibility for children? I think absent fathers have and continue to be the norm but in different forms throughout time. While I agree with marriage as a social sanction and the impact of the sexual revolution on the institution of marriage, cosplaying dad has been the norm even prior to this level of deterioration. Men cheated and sex work has always been an abundant option. Consider men have a crucial role in tribal and village life but may not have been monogamous, primarily spent their time with other men, but were accessible to children and involved in their development. Marriage and monogamy may not be the solution. There are other ways of being. In my humble opinion, as a daughter of a father who suffers from PTSD, what children need is access to healthy, emotionally resourced men. How can men achieve this in a capitalistic society? My father never had a chance. He worked two jobs seven days a week for most of his life. Men need kinship with each other and time to work on their health and healing instead of making other people rich working like beasts of labor. If men are not permitted to prioritize their health and healing and supported in doing that, nothing will change for the children.

[@photina262]

Well said ❤

[@blinkjetimmersion]

I see some sense has reached the comments 🎉

[@ScrumptiousRump]

My single mom raised me well. She did the best she could but as I grew up without a father I yearn male attention and affection.

[@toastedtoaster3836]

My father worked basically until he couldn’t due to his cancer. He always worked and yeah I wish he was there emotionally. But when he could show it, it was kinda jarring. I will always be grateful to have the life he gave me. He did his best that he could. I miss him. I’m just happy that I became a father before he passed. I’m following in his footsteps but I will be there for my kids no matter what

[@llgogo]

I grew up with an absent father, but my mother was as kind and as good she could possibly be, so I can speak on this subject. My mother taught me compassion, human relations, socialization and to be good to others. On the other hand, a lack of a father figure left me with issues like people-pleasing and fear of taking risks. I'm also not as independent as I could be and surfer from a lack of self-esteem. Great video as always.

[@JuliaShalomJordan]

I relate to all of what you said.🫶🏻🙏🏻🤍

[@Lilmacmcmo]

I relate to everything you said as well.

[@JustMe-vn5pq]

I grew up in a similar situation; my father was physically present but emotionally absent. My mother might have been OK as a mother, but she tried to be a father figure as well, and she was effectively the world's worst father. I'm only now, in my 70s, starting to deal with the emotional side of my own fatherlessness. Having a father is essential for sons. You either need someone to emulate, or failing that, at least someone to rebel against. How do you deal with an absence where a father should be?

[@agustdrip1960]

I can relate to this

[@Skoopyghost]

I look up to my father. I think it saved me from going into harder drugs before getting sober from alcohol and drugs.

[@rm-ml9qp]

I will be a first time dad is less than a month. Thank you for this timely message.

[@sunbather616]

Congratulations, enjoy your new journey full of love. I am incredibly thankful that I got to experience fatherhood in my life.

[@Jenny_Lee_]

That is so wonderful. 😁 Congratulations 🎉

[@dsc4178]

Good luck, a wonderful time is coming for you!

[@spennny1000]

Welcome to fatherhood hardest thing you'll ever do but the most rewarding

[@PhilJonesIII]

I'm a six-time dad. My youngest has just finished university and will be leaving home shortly. My wife died back in 2007 but, I was determined to finish the job we started. Just being there is 90% of the job. Turn the "I Can't" mantra into "I can't yet". Each child is different but more like you than you are. That's a scary realization when it hits you. Enjoy fatherhood. You will be where I am in what feels too quick a time. I promise, it's a great feeling knowing you have done the best you can to help them face the world.

[@shex7873]

My dad lived 20 minutes from me but hardly came around. He started a new family. My mom would get me dressed and packed but many times he didn’t show up. When he turned 50 and started having surgeries and feeling sick he started to reach out a lot more. I’m trying to forgive him, it’s hard.

[@isaymymind1727]

My father taught me to believe in myself and to keep going nomatter what. He taught me not to play victim. He always tells me I am special even today as an adult. Mom taught me love, empathy, to cry briefly and wipe my tears and continue the fight.... I am because of these two saints of mine.

[@jakepokemonman1227]

My dad and mother both raised me and never cared about me from day one. My father beat every son he had and raped every stepdaughter he had. His full daughter he treated like a queen and treated all his sons extremely cruel. As a kid he beat me so bad my blood would cover the walls and my nose is still crooked and fucked up from it today. I didn't just have an absent father though. I had a tyrant. So I'm not quite as feminine as other people would be with no father because I actually had to raise myself to defend and play manipulation games to prevent from getting hurt at a very young age. I am not normal at all as a result. It is troubling because this issue can't be fixed and nobody really cares at the end of the day. My philosophy has become what Nietzche taught and it is that, that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Nobody on earth could be a greater enemy to me than my own father because he is the only man you can fully trust, and mine was more cruel to me than a stranger.

[@Pfsif]

😪

[@username_ass_2140]

thats horrible, im sorry that happend to you, your brothers and stepsisters. thanks for sharing.

[@marktrain9498]

I hope you do better as time passes, man. That sounds like a heavy burden to carry.

[@MollyMcBooter]

You're aware of what its done to you and how you chose to cope, though. Thats a HUGE, good start. Most people can't even tell how their childhood screwed them up and refuse to acknowledge how they're carrying on in life with the damage.

[@fionagrant2023]

That sounds horrific Have you got support in your life? You are not alone

[@coffeepot3123]

It's not just absent fathers, the whole world culture is now just tiny fragmented family tribes, uncles and aunts, grandparents etc, living far away from the kids of parents, thin support structure, and instead of fixing it we only dial our lazer towards the financial part of raising kids. Imo there should be a drastic remodeling of housing designs/laws, i want to see big family houses that can house as many family members one can deal with.

[@Jenny_Lee_]

This is the best comment I've seen on here so far. It really does take a village. Grandma and Grandpa, and Meemaw, and all the aunts and cousins helping in raising each others kids. This is how people live in the rest of the world. They stay together and work together to get by.

[@j.2512]

8 out of 10 divorces are initiated by the woman. Female hipergamy is destroying lives and familes and leading society to ruin

[@PolishBehemoth]

Wow! why did this make so much sense

[@inevski]

To a point. But who does the domestic work for these palatial extended families

[@coffeepot3123]

@@inevski What a non comment. It doesn't have to be a "streamer mansion", it can be one building with housing on separate floors, or on the same property. The last two are done today with grandparents living there.

[@JOHN-CLAWD]

My old man can be mean at times and Lord knows he still does drink a bit much , but that doesn’t mean that I woulda been better off without him in my life . Still to this day the man is a good father regardless of his faults , his positive qualities far outweigh the negative . I don’t care what anyone says , if your biological parents stayed together , protected you , provided for you , didn’t sexually abuse you , raised you and taught you anything at all , then you should consider yourself blessed . There’s no such thing as perfect parents or a perfect marriage .

[@niewieder99]

Wow you set the bar low… ‘didn’t sexually abuse you’. But physical and emotional abuse are ok? As long as they protected you from others doing the same, but their behaviour is exempt. People who use the ‘but they’re you’re parents!’ line clearly haven’t lived through the experience of emotional abuse or constant threats of violence or being thrown out of the house at 16. Get off your high horse and know now all parents are ‘just slightly mean’. Some are downright evil.

[@JOHN-CLAWD]

@@niewieder99 Jeez lady , get a grip .

[@danielliammellywood3139]

@@JOHN-CLAWD? She made a great point mate. Maybe you should get your priorities settled out?

[@JOHN-CLAWD]

@@danielliammellywood3139 Maybe you and her should get together and throw another shrimp on the Barbie .

[@marqryan5218]

I feel as if not having my biological father in my life, gave me a rejection complex that is truly inexplicable. My father was an illegal alien, living in California at the time of my birth. My grandmother was racist and abusive, and essentially forbade the relationship between he and my Mother. Even though my Mother would have technically been an adult at the time. He had the opportunity to hold me once, but that was it. I have never even so much as seen a picture of him, and only know his first name. I've struggled with both resentment and rejection my entire life. People would say, "you should try to find him," and I would say, no, he NEEDS to find ME. He made me, not the other way around. It's his responsibility. I also resented my Mother a bit for not fighting harder, but at least she had stayed in my life. My Grandmother was a piece of human work, and the less said about her better. But I do feel that inability to adjust and my tendency for self-sabotage is directly attributed to my lack of any relationship whatsoever with my Father. So Francisco, if you're out there, I hope one day you find me important enough to look for.

[@NAEVAN238]

I just thought I would point it out but he may not be able to find you. Also it is possible he may not relize that you would be open to meating him, with you having a racist grandma he may have assumed you were raised and became racist twards him yourself. That being said If you don't want to search for him I can understand that side as well.

[@vahntomaziniAI]

That's not how life works, you are not a prize for him to search for. You don't know what is his life and why he never went after you, after all, he wasn't in a position to simply fight for you (your grandma, deportation...). If it's important, go look for him too, it's a 50-50 chance to be a positive life-changing experience

[@marqryan5218]

@@vahntomaziniAI This is my story and my experience. Therfore, you don't get to tell me how "life works," or doesn't. Because it's my life, not yours. And if a child isn't considered a gift, i.e, a "prize," then what is?

[@ErikaLaGrande]

It’s worse if your father is “present” but is highly controlling, manipulative, and constantly insults you. Add in the occasional compliment, and you have the recipe for a big, giant mindf**k. If they are financially successful, they will use money to keep you dependent. So, absence could actually be better.

[@SanthoshGparapurrathu]

What about mother's bro

[@BarbieMariposa1613]

@@SanthoshGparapurrathu The video is about parents; If the video were about mothers, the comment would be with the genders reversed but with the same purpose. The comment was not made for misandric purposes, it was made because the video deals solely and exclusively with men. If the video was about both sexes, it would be great if both were criticized, but since the video is not about both sexes, then the ''what's about mother's bro?'' thing has nothing to do with it. Please don't try to start a war of which sex is worse.

[@mstella28]

this

[@BarbieMariposa1613]

@@sparingharbor2600 If there are a lot of comments about men exposing maternal abuse, they are in other videos of other channels; You are in a video where the maternal abuse is not treated so obviously you will not find the comments of maternal abuse here. Abusive fathers and abusive mothers are a crap (regardless of their sex) and you are coming back is discussion in a sexitic battle, as if I hated only abusive parents. Garbage is garbage, no matter how much the genitals you have glued in the pelvis. I accept that the absence of fathers negatively affects the child, but the damage of having abusive fathers in life is greater than that of not having them. Many people with internal problems are formed by the absence of fathers, but the number of people who have internal problems from having abusive fathers present for many years is greater and worse. I have seen many men being raised by single mothers who have been better people than men keeping their abusive fathers in their lives. Growing up with an abusive father increases the likelihood of becoming the same as him (drug-addicted and violent father = drug-addicted and violent son). Understanding that the absence of an abusive father is much "better" (in quotes) since the man knows that if one day he wanted to start a family, he will give his son what his father never gave him: presence of him. Deep-rooted misandry has nothing to do with criticizing a person's bad actions regardless of their sex. Nobody said that abusive fathers are bad because they are men, the video clearly explains that they are bad because they are drug addicts, unfaithful, negligent and violent. Nobody hates abusive fathers for being men, they hate them for their actions, they hate them for being people without good values, for being people who do not care about the lives of their children, for being irresponsible people who father children without wanting them and mistreat them. Nothing to do with misandry. A stepfather, grandfather, or uncle may be better than an abusive father; even a single mother, aunt, or grandmother may be better than an abusive father; but you are hell-bent on wanting to redeem the abusive fathers when clearly the abusive fathers don't care about the lives of their children and they don't care about seeking redemption either. If abusive fathers cared about becoming better fathers, they would not be bad fathers (obviously) since they would seek the well-being of their child from the beginning and would not seek to excuse their bad actions by blaming others and using the word "MizANdRyyy" to all that person who can't stand his crap. Many fathers have abused their children in different ways (physical, psychological, sexual and verbal). Men who have been sexually abused by their fathers do not deserve to have fathers like that present in their lives (and worse if an STD/STI was present in the abuse).

[@BellaZ209]

@@sparingharbor2600this video literally says how important fathers are needed in their child’s life. So what are you on about?

[@jckorn9148]

I say this over and over to my boys.... Life is broken up in thirds. Sleep, stuff you want to do, and stuff you have to do. The sooner you come to terms with this, the better off you will be.

[@nzingahoney]

Very fatherly advice!!!

[@mikerivers8595]

My father and step father were both abusive. My mother is self absorbed and codependent. Both my father and step father are narcissists. My daughter was taken from me, and her mother slowly cut me out of her life. She cheated on me so we broke up. I have yet to get my life together and am now homeless, trying to go back to school. I connected with a friend who is somewhat of a father figure to me recently. He is driving to pick me up this weekend, giving me a place to live and a job in his shop. I’ll be able to finish school. I miss my daughter every day. I know feeling awful about it will not fix the problem, so I’ve had to remain positive, and am determined to try and make up for lost time. When she was younger, I was as present as possible. I hope she remembers how much I loved her, and all the good times. Without her I do feel a lack of purpose. I didn’t want to be an absent father, as both my father and step father were absent in my life in different ways, and only abused me. This caused me a great setback in life. But I am going to try my best next year to change all of this for the better. Thank you for your videos. They are thought provoking and inciteful.

[@adamfrost1881]

I hope the best for you brother

[@baustin11111]

I grew up without a father. I had a step dad, and he provided, but he wasn't a father, and he always made sure I knew how much I cost him. My sister was engaged but they broke it off and my mom said "I don't care, I just want her to have a baby so I can be a grandma" and I just went off on my mom. The unbelievable selfishness was insane.

[@conq3097]

Interesting story! What happened after that?

[@willissudweeks1050]

What’s wrong with wanting to be a grandma? My parents are happy to be grandparents and I’m not married.

[@Tokmurok]

​@@willissudweeks1050Nothing wrong with that but people tend to love their grandkids unfairly more than their actual children. My grandparents were like that. Treated their kids like shit giving me a difficult dysfunctional mum. Therefore making my life, the grandkids they supposedly love (superficially) a rather difficult time.

[@willissudweeks1050]

@@Tokmurok Well that’s because they don’t have them full time lol there’s no pressure so it’s easier to just have fun and be cool. My mom is way better to her grandkids than she was to me as well. By a mile.

[@plotoyadnaya_rossiyanka]

My father was an abusive alcoholic, he was both physically and psychologically hurting all of us, but my mother didn’t want to divorce him because she thought we needed a father figure in our lives. As a traumatized adult, I wish I never had a second parent, this would be so much better than having an awful one. I understand that having an absent father is worse than having a good father, but if you have to choose between “bad” or “none”, the latter is preferable. Sadly, we can’t get rid of the absent fathers problem, because a lot of them are just horrible human beings who cannot be changed for the better, and it’s better to keep them as far as possible than to let their children have a second parent.

[@badumba5511]

can relate

[@LadyIarConnacht]

Very true - but we also should take as much care as possible to only have kids when we're in a good relationship to minimize the effect of parental absenteeism or abuse. We shouldn't rush it because it takes a couple of years to really learn what somebody is like.

[@SumiSum-bk9fo]

True. Ive seen so many marriage problems created by men, where they create it, then don t hold themself accountable and dont want to change. The wife then has 1 solution : divorce! Or keeping in a unhealthy home.

[@asamicat8323]

​@@LadyIarConnachtthat's the hardest part, you can't predict some behaviours

[@gussampson5029]

​@@asamicat8323You can when you have a good father figure. The reason why girls NEED a good father is because girls with good fathers pick good husbands because their fathers taught them what it felt like to be loved by a man in a positive way. Girls without fathers typically choose worse men than those who know the difference. Just another reason why having a loving father is an absolute necessity.

[@watch-Dominion-2018]

3:55 - "and some step-fathers see their step-children as competition for the mother's attention". Ain't the truth, my mother jumped from partner to partner as I grew up, and I was angry at and clashed with all of them

[@abrahamcarbajal2861]

I grew up without a father, I'm perfectly fine

[@mich5131]

Good for you.

[@coyee2801]

Perfectly fine? In every way?

[@shirleyupvall9360]

I was a single mom, left a 'sperm donor' because of horrible abuse to myself and even abuse to my one year old twins. My boys are stable, i worked Really hard at giving them a good life

[@RoolWall]

What a disgusting phrase. Says more about you than him.

[@illuminati7767]

Do you call your lil boys that? If dad was the sperm donor, I'll assume ur the sperm recepticle, yes? Remember you chose him when it was said and done.

[@dainagrn7030]

Thanks for prioritising children and not men.

[@willissudweeks1050]

@@RoolWall I doubt you’ve gotten the opportunity to donate sperm in quite some time lol

[@nottoday7801]

@@RoolWall she most probably meant an absent father by that

[@carlossantos-rios9337]

In my case, I am glad I never grew up knowing my biological father. I had a wonderful granddad and learned so much from him; he wasn't perfect by no means but we truly bonded as I got to adulthood as his wisdom helped me so much.

[@TheImprovementArchieve]

Having a granddad with a lot of knowledge and wisdom is a powerful thing

[@diegoaespitia]

a father isnt necessary, a father figure is

[@JordieeArnold]

@@diegoaespitiaI disagree. Blood is everything. I feel we all crave for our own father that is distinctly ours.

[@saosaqii5807]

⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠@@JordieeArnold Blood is absoutely not everything and history and society proves that. Family is as much a earned relationship as all other. Nobody craves for their own father or someone distinctly theirs like some sort of pet as much as they wish things could be better or what could’ve been. An abandoned kid does not crave his father but resents them.

[@madworldfan123]

​@@saosaqii5807 "He may have been your father, boy. But he wasn't your daddy!".

[@goblinsarereal4954]

Shoutout to stepfathers that didnt make things worse but truly accepted the kids from their partner as their own.

[@livelylogan]

I’ve been there for my daughter everyday and she’s 5 and got kicked out of my house because her mom was “unhappy”

[@Boycott-if4eg]

I grew up with a father who was an abusive monster. In my 50s he died and I found out I had half siblings I never knew about who were products of affairs and rapecrimes. I’d trade places with them in a heartbeat, as they were raised by real men who were kind. I don’t wish the shock of finding out a criminal is your real biological father, but they were blessed. I was the unlucky one who was beaten to the point of hospitalization, molested and tortured on a daily basis.

[@ufoufo9182]

My heart goes out to you. I wish you love, strength and healing. ❤

[@Boycott-if4eg]

Thank you for your kindness @@ufoufo9182

[@alleyneT]

I’m so sorry you’ve suffered so badly as a child. I hope you are healing and finding inner peace 🙏

[@Boycott-if4eg]

Thank you @@alleyneT

[@adnanabdull4h]

I'm so sorry.

[@DannySullivanMusic]

My dad was never absent. He just got lost while purchasing cigarettes.

[@sy_dianne5224]

I feel this is a bit exaggerated...I grew up only with my mother and saw how other kids suffered because of alcoholic/abusive fathers, at least we had peace at home, I can honestly say my childhood was 90% fine. Did I sometimes wish I had my father in my life? Yes, but can't say I missed him as I had no bond with him (he just wrote letters sometimes - this was in the early 90s). Therefore I refuse to believe that not having a father would prevent someone from succeeding in life.

[@the_oofer]

It does not prevent a good life, but having both parents will often be better than only having one parent

[@sy_dianne5224]

@@the_oofer People often use the "I had no father" as an excuse for their bad decisions in life, it's always easier to blame others than to take accountability for your actions or decisions.

[@skyboxmagee8038]

There is an unaddressed burden here. The saying “it takes a village” Comes to mind. I turned out pretty damn good because my mom had a very supportive community of friends and family. We could all be a little more kind and supportive of eachother.

[@Bombadil-ez9ns]

My dad was there, but he wasn't really there. He'd get home at the end of the day, and he would SHUT OFF. I'm the same way now, but without kids.

[@paulatreides0777]

Good move not having any.

[@onemorechris]

well done for choosing not to have kids, if that’s what you are saying(?)

[@egrytznr8893]

All working class kids feel the same way, it shouldn't be like that. Both parents nowadays are turned into mindless 9-5ers that are absent most of their child's lives. This channel doesn't understand any of that though, I have a feeling the creators are upper crust types they don't have to work for anything if they don't want to, an easy step from all expenses paid college to a KZbin "career".

[@onemorechris]

@@egrytznr8893 you’re right. it’s definitely from an academic point of view, which is always a place of privilege. That loftiness is often unhelpful for people who are directly affected, especially when that crosses a class boundary in the UK.

[@leejerrett8268]

@@egrytznr8893I get that impression from this channel too. It honestly gives me the creeps.

[@nopenope7777]

A father not there at all or partially (due to divorce) is one thing but there is a secondary silent epidemic growing. I personally had a father that was there but I had to fight to get him to do stuff with me. He just wanted to sit and watch TV all day. It seems like reading the comments, a lot of people have also had the "disinterested father" experience.

[@JuliaShalomJordan]

Yes. I am with u as my dad was so apathetic about being a father.

[@alexgilliam75able]

I got three kids but yet i don't get to see them

[@chuachua-hj9zd]

Ya. When he does things with his kids, he is also disengaged/ disinterested/ not present mentally. No buy things, no give solid man advice , no hug and praise. Very emotionally disengaged. Just give money for daily living. Good enough to live but not enough emotionally to thrive

[@AverageAngel]

why does this passive father thing happen? It also happened to me too

[@Bobo-ox7fj]

That's me, and that's the demographic all these video-a-week father figure replacement vloggers are catering to. He sat me down and we would watch the V8s. Then I'd ask questions, make comments, he'd get annoyed that I was interrupting the drone of supercars and the mutter of the commentators. So I'd go and read or play vidya or watch TV. Most weekends he'd find a reason to escape back to the office because he and my mother hated each other. I didn't know this wasn't normal because I grew up around a lot of kids with either divorced, abusive, absent or some combination of, parents, so I figured I had it pretty good. One day he came home with a cheap-and-cheerful cricket set and we spent the entire afternoon through to dusk having a great time. He never once touched it again, and I dragged it out hopefully less and less over the next few months. That would have been probably june of 2006, notable as the time my teachers started to go nutty over my failure to behave in school. Turns out I'm autistic, but high-functioning enough that my teachers chalked it up to "boy" and my parents didn't care. I was eventually diagnosed in february 2012 after assuming I was just a fuck up that couldn't act right for the first fifteen or so years of my life. Six times - yearly - his father came up on holiday and him, my sister and I had a wonderful week or so. I still have photos - my grandfather is now the last of my grandparents and is demented and dying in the care of his less-estranged family, so it's not likely I'll see him again. Aside from those occasions, his being an accountant required me to pursue higher level maths which I'm really quite crap at, so there were sporadic weeks of cramming for tests that I'd scrape past under his frustrated eye. Beyond all that I don't remember any parenting from him at all. My sister, him and I have a zoom meeting once a week but it's more like coworkers in the break room than it is three-quarters of a family.

[@lizzydog5728]

I agree 100%with what you say! A child must be shown they are important and loved to develop the ability to Honor themselves for just being life!

Never knew my father. I was born from 2 irresponsible people. My father was a hosptial administrator, my mom was a nursing student. "Pops" was married with 2 sons already when he started messing with my mom. You can see where I may not hold a high opinion of either. Anyways he knocks her up. She already had my brother 8 years prior to another dude. Obviously didn't marry either one. July of 78 I come on board. My mom never got her crap together and at age 6 my grandfather stepped in and told her if you're dropping this boy off again, he stays. We're getting custody. Of course my mom agreed, and thank God she did. My grandparents were awesome. As long as I kept my nose clean, kept the grades up, I never went without. Got to play football and wrestle in school. Did the prom, homecoming, all that stuff. At age 14 my father comes into the picture again. I still talked to my mom. I didn't hate her, but I made it clear to her who raised me. Any sports write ups I had, and banquets, senior nights in both sports, I was the son of my grandparents. So my mom gives him my address and we write each other. I wrote him a 3rd time then never heard back. It didn't bother me. Gramps was my father. Now he taught me what he could, but even when I first came to live with them, his health was beginning to fail. There were no throwing the ball around, camping, hunting, fishing, etc. He never got to see me play a single football game or wrestle a match. My senior year I qualified for the Michigan state finals at my weight. When I got home from the night I had qualified, I walked in the door, he looks up and asks how I did??? I said well grampsz I gotta pack for Battle Creek because I qualified. I flipped him the medal, 4th place, but still made it. Hey that's alright kid!!! He passed a little over a year later. The day of the funeral I slipped that medal into the breast pocket of his suit. I thank that man and the men who guided me during my electrician apprenticeship so very much. All of my coaches as well. Sadly because of how I was raised I never wanted nor had kids. Not that kids aren't awesome, just never felt that was for me. Anyone who took the time to read all of this drivel, thank you so much. Peace be with you.

[@lisasisk694]

It's better to grow up without a father than to grow up with an abusive one.

[@jeejmfhz3875]

Yeah....in fact need numbers....and mostly if father is abusive, mother is certainly too.

[@SanguineLemon]

Bro did you not watch the video or understand any of the stats or ideas stated?

[@TransNeingerian]

Its also better to keep quiet and let everyone think youre stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it to them.

[@sittaraatayee3889]

I absolutely agree with this my dad was abusive and did a lot of damage to siblings and mom. I would rather have not have a absent father than gone through so much abuse and memories that can be erased.

[@johnhawthorn5393]

An abusive mother is way worse than an absent father, remember that

[@strawberry2371]

I lost my father when i was 4, i don't remember anything about him. My mother was busy with her job so she couldn't give me any time growing up. Then I got my step father who never saw me as his child. I grew up without any emotional support. Now I see the effects in every aspect of my life

[@teejteejwano9642]

Sorry to hear that mate, wishing you all the best in realising your authentic self and finding eudaimonia

[@onedayatatime1494]

My father died when I was 8 but I only met him 1 time before so I didn't have much time with him and I don't remember what he looked like because my mother had no pictures of him ..I'm 38 now so he died 30 years ago and the void of his absence is still alive inside me so ur not alone...

[@toni25681]

A voice of sanity in this insane age. Thank you for highlighting common sense, and standards that protect human beings.

[@Ms.Kelani]

Exactly. Single mother ≠ Absentee father, and this is one of the reasons I get irked when people make single mothers out to be the problem. If you actually want to be in your child’s life, NOTHING will stop you. You go to court and get joint custody. The fact of the matter is, a lot of men like being weekend dads. They like having their freedom and just playing daddy on the weekends.

[@risevision1080]

Women initiate divorces by 90% winning 85% of child custody, its much more expensive for fathers than mothers in courts and fathers majority still dont win, 85% as i said. Men on average work 45-50 hours a week while women work 39, after most divorces women are most likely to move to other states. Women control how much the dad contacts/sees his child, mothers are 70% more abusive than fathers. Single mothers are the problem when 80% rapists and murderers come grom single homes when the most succesful people come from two parents or single father homes. Mothers and women are far more emotionally abusive and manipulative, women lie far more than men do, men spend far more in courts and still dont win custody, women most likely move to different states, its not illegal and its common for the woman to xhange adress/phone number. Stop making women out to be angels

[@tyronelorenzovalentio3414]

What you have to understand single mothers aren’t men It’s the men you chose

[@yukhzia]

this is complete and utter rubbish that’s not how easy it is to get custody of the child

[@camembert147]

@@yukhziawhen father ask for custody, majority of the time they got it

[@yukhzia]

@@camembert147 that’s a lie I’m busy right now but I’ll be back with proof

[@ashh1371]

My father was and still is such a great dad. I grew up very poor and my dad has his faults just like anyone but I simply don’t know what I’d do without him.

[@KUqdah]

You were truly blessed....

[@Cocoisagordonsetter]

A lot of money isn't necessary to provide the most important thing a parent can give. LOVE

[@berylroberts131]

My dad was there for us. He didn't have much to give us, but his time was much more valuable. Now, he's pushing 80, and now he's reaping. He is in MY home, so I can take good care of him.

[@Cocoisagordonsetter]

@@berylroberts131 Mixed bag with mine. Complicated situation. Sometimes good, sometimes REALLY not good. I do know that I wouldn't call HIM if the shit hit the fan in my life. AND it does and has...... He's 81.

[@Godisgood173]

Money means nothing, relationships mean everything.

[@RippleDrop.]

I grew up without father and a narcissist mother. It was very confusing, to this day, why my father isn't interested in me as a person, AT ALL.

[@hopefull61256]

At least she still kept you and looked after you

[@Earl_E_Burd]

Because a narcissistic mother is IMPOSSIBLE to deal with and she's the gatekeeper.

[@UnschoolingCOM]

Sounds like Dad may be a narcissist as well and thats why the relationship didn't work. Narcissists seek control more than they value companionship.

[@RippleDrop.]

@@hopefull61256 I did see my dad every other weekend and he was bonkers drunk and crazy til I was a teenager and figured I don't have to do that anymore. My mom didn't really look after me so much as she was only focused on her career and would come home only to abuse and rage at us to blow of steam. She did fill the fridge which was good. It would have been humiliating for her in front of the neighbors if we were taken away. By today's standards we would have been in a foster home. Back in the day it was different.

[@RippleDrop.]

@@Earl_E_Burd We are all in our thirties. My father is just spaced out all the time attaching to his new wife like a child to a mother. He only calls drunk and is totally inappropriate.

[@allthingsnewlife]

Father's LOVE your children, do not provoke them to wrath, do not diminish their soul, break their spirit or jeopardise their physical lives. You don't escape a safe man & you honour a good man. Children should nat have to chose between safety or a father! 🎯😢

[@cookie_lukey1924]

We should spread these information around the world and make sure that our children and their parents know about these issues so that we can make a difference for the future generations

[@ian_davidson]

Almost every friend from my age range( 35ish ) who’s reproduced the man is the stable parent and the mother is the absent one. Although most of our fathers were absent. I think it taught us what not to be.

[@tassosplatis2143]

There's a lot of people in our generation who grew up without dad's. I guess it was fashionable in the 80s and 90s to divorce

[@stew4267]

I grew up without father and my mother handed me over to the state at the three years old . And then i spent 10 years in a orphanage for children in a small town in the UK and At the age of 14 they sent my back to my mother now living in Australia. At the age of 16 she told me to leave so I learned a trade meet a wonderful lady got married . And 41 years later still married with two beautiful daughters who are all grown now and i will always try to be there for them . To this day i still don't know why my mother did what she did and will not go back there to ask .I still wonder sometimes what its like to have a mother and father something i never got to experience . And with that said My heart goes out to all those who went through having only one or no parents in there lives it puts us a hard road to travel at times .

[@jackpotbear4559]

You're doing great kid

[@Cocoisagordonsetter]

It's really hard to become stable when you've been through such a thing. Amazing!

[@leatheryfoot6354]

Absent Fathers suck, but having a Father that you are better off without is worse.

[@mcdawol]

I’d much rather have an absent parent over a abusive one you can’t escape from any day. People seem to forget step dads exist and are fine

[@isaymymind1727]

Or not. As long as you speak of people over whom you have no control, the results could be positive or negative. However, when its your turn to do that job of parenting, do it right because you have experienced and learnt the results of wrong parenting.

[@mcdawol]

@@isaymymind1727 all we can do is treat our kids well. But abusive parents exist and the kid is probably better off if the parents toxic relationship just ended.