Gender in mental healthcare

Dr. lore and Dr. Ali talk about how to support the mental health of transgender people.
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Topics discussed:
0:00 - Intro
1:11 - Creating trust
5:35 - Terminology
7:50 - Dignity & respect
11:39 - Being misgendered
15:45 - Becoming welcoming
23:10 - Safety
26:15 - Ask about pronouns, not surgeries
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THE PSYCH SHOW! Creating mental health videos that educate, entertain, and empower! Produced and written by clinical psychologist Ali Mattu, Ph.D. Edited by Diana Chang (www.changdiana.com). All videos are provided for informational purposes only and do not constitute clinical advice.
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[@drali]

What questions do you have for Dr. lore about transgender mental health?

[@danielschmidt7153]

Biggest question I have as someone studying for clinical Pyschology, do new non binary genders have different effects on different mental conditions minor or major? It's a very interesting subject I've been looking into.

[@lorem.dickey8002]

Ali - thank you for getting this online. It is interesting that in the short time since we recorded this video - things have changed. I am thinking about pronouns. @Ryn said it better than I might. As much as I think I have this figured out one day, it is probably going to change tomorrow. That leads me back to the need to respectfully ask the person about their pronouns (or any other private information that you have a legitimate reason to know in a private setting. And, by the way - curiosity is not a legitimate reason!)

[@ryn2844]

I just got an email back from a mental health institution about an intake appointment, and instead of 'Dear sir' or 'Dear madam', they just put 'Dear', haha. I contacted them a while ago so I don't even remember telling them I'm nonbinary, but I guess I must have, because I don't think they'd do that for all their clients lol. In any case, it was clumsy, but appreciated.

[@ellw7830]

haha that's so funny, i also would've genuinely appreciated an email like that too. trans people often have a healthy sense of humor about things like this, i wish that was recognized outside of the community more.

[@ryn2844]

I had one therapist who thought that my asexuality and my being nonbinary were one and the same thing. They aren't. Who you do is not who you are. Asexuality is heavily correlated with being trans and/or nonbinary though. It's important to know what that is as well, and it's important to not try to do conversion therapy on your asexual clients. If it's not broken, don't fix it.

[@louislane318]

Just want to say thank you for making content. I am a data professional (data scientist) making the pivot to clinical psychology (hopefully I am accepted into the program) and your videos have helped me get excited about the work I plan to do.

[@RhizometricReality]

Can i recommend you read a few things? Are the data scientist, I'm sure you're familiar with transhumanism, but are you familiar with the cyborg manifesto by Donna Haraway? Are you familiar with Douglas Hofstadter's work in I am a strange loop? Are you familiar with Deleuze and Guattari's work?

[@louislane318]

@@RhizometricReality no I am not and I appreciate the recommendations. I will add this list to my readings.

[@ryn2844]

So about that last question. There's been a lot of online discourse about whether to ask for pronouns or not to ask for pronouns. In general, it's better to ask for pronouns one on one, rather than in a group setting, because outing yourself in a group setting can be dangerous. Also, leading with 'Hi I'm Ali, my pronouns are he/him' and then letting the other person decide for themselves whether they want to tell you their pronouns is best practice. You don't want to put pressure on closeted people to either out themselves or misgender themselves. Outwardly misgendering yourself hurts more than being misgendered by others. Brennen Beckwith and Storm Ryan did a podcast all about the pronoun question about a week ago, in case you want more info. It's on KZbin. Goddamnit Malcolm also did a panel on pronouns with a bunch of trans guys/nonbinary folks, but that's only for the people who are really committed to learning about us haha, it's long.

[@ryn2844]

There also actually are people who prefer 'it' as a personal pronoun, though they usually also have other sets of pronouns in case people are uncomfortable with that. A lot of trans people have trauma about that pronoun, so it makes sense they'd have trouble using it for other trans people even when desired. I can't get the word 'it' out of my mouth to describe a human either, personally, no matter how affirming it is for someone else, I just can't do it.

[@RhizometricReality]

I always get apprehensive when these conversations come up in my feed but I'm glad this was positive and constructive.

[@Smiithrz]

Another great video. I always appreciate the quality of content, as the production quality. On the topic of inclusion and welcoming environments… can I suggest you replace the cute all-caps font on the captions for something a bit more legible? As a dyslexic person, I find the captions difficult to read. But keep up the great content 🙂

[@joeydewiel1180]

Loved the video! Wanted to add, recently there was an incident where a trans internet personality (a web-comics artist), who self-IDs with ‘it/its/itself’ pronouns was targeted with harassment and deliberate misgendering (called ‘she’ instead of ‘it’) after news of its suicide attempt. So I know you would probably already agree that how someone self-IDs should generally be respected, just thought I’d include for other viewers that some folks go by nonstandard pronouns, but it’s still basic courtesy to try to use them.

[@eldritch_garfield]

That's quite upsetting to hear, and I hope the artist is safe. I wish more people understood that it's always possible to use someone's pronouns without fully understanding why the person goes by them. As a cis person, I have the luxury of my pronouns being used even if people dislike or disagree with me. It breaks my heart when people are so quick to revoke that right from trans people. Many judge neopronouns (nonstandard pronouns) without knowing how detrimental misgendering can be to a trans individual's mental health. Thank you for helping to bring awareness and have a good rest of your day.

[@sauron3095]

Off topic, but if I wanted to open my own practice and do hands on work. Could I do that with a masters in social work? And if I do get a masters in social work, would I be able to get a phd later on if I chose to?

[@portiawomer5823]

Hi! I love your content. I'm a 4th year student and just applied for my doctoral internship! I'm wondering if you could do a video about tips for internship interviews and ranking sites? Thanks :)

[@CDCrest]

Yes please! I'm only in my 2nd year but I'd love to get a leg up haha

[@BabbelLegend]

Interesting subject! I'll watch this right away, for sure!

[@itsmarlow6640]

I’m barely into this video and I am thrilled to be here for this. I’m not a part of the trans community, but I am queer and a recent MSW grad on the path to become a licensed therapist. I love that we are having this conversation. Thanks so much!

[@pdog-tu7yb]

Dr. Mattu, I was wondering if you could help me understand my situation. I am a young, large man. My friends tend to think of me as a gentle giant. I never yell and rarely get angry. I have an analytical mind and usually reason through my problems to find solutions instead of getting angry. But a couple days ago I was assaulted by a man roughly 1/3 of my size through the open window of my car while I was parked in a shady spot in front of his neighbors house while waiting to pick up my wife in a few minutes who was babysitting for her brother. It was the first time I had met the assailant. I had been parking there consistently for several months when picking up my wife. He punched my glasses off of my face, hit me idk how many times in the face and arm as I tried to block and reason with him. When I realized he wasn't going to calm down I tried to roll up my window and drive away. he punched through my window, giving me multiple lacerations on my arm. After I got away I called the cops and he was arrested for breaking his parole and charged with assault and vandalism. Idk yet how long he'll be locked up. I'm recovering well and fixing my window was not a big deal. What I don't understand is what is going on inside my mind. Most of my life I have been a pacifist. But this assault I did not see coming, and he was so unreasonable. I have been having so many horrible thoughts the past few days. I know that if I were to fight him back he would have been dead or hospitalized. Despite his best efforts he failed to break my nose or even bruise my face or arm. The only thing that hurt me was the broken window and my glasses. I have had thoughts and dreams about hurting him and his family in so many ways from arson, to tools and weapons, to even strangling the life out of him with my own bare hands. Is this normal? And how do I get past this without hurting anyone?

[@HIDDENADHD]

Interesting topic - thanks for sharing!

[@kristeengarcia1280]

Video request: Heard and Depp trial. :)

[@hasansidhu1526]

Sir, I want to talk to you. it's urgent and very important to me. How do I contact you?

[@amandamandamands]

When you said that about specific non-binary pronouns I have often thought the same. There are a few variations out there that for whatever reason never took traction. The one that I like out of those is Ze, Hir, Hir. At the end of the day I am cis so it isn't my decision to make. I thought it was interesting that your guest said that he thought it was added to signatures so that Trans people would feel more comfortable. I admit my thought process when I heard about it was so that non-binary people could put their pronouns out there so that they weren't being misgendered (also people with androgynous names if they wanted people to stop assuming their gender). For someone that you haven't met and it is writing there are assumptions on the gender of the person with that name (though with the latest generation of names that is becoming harder). Maybe it is because I am ND, I tend to listen for cues in person before using any pronouns for someone that I don't personally know.

[@MintChocoOreo]

I'm happy to see that you're back with a video as I always appreciate them. Also, I hope you've been well Dr. Ali! :D

[@hallotschuss4177]

Very well done!

[@insanehawk13]

I’d like to point this out as someone who talks to a lot of people involved in the trans and non-binary community: there are non-binary people who DO wish to be referred to with it/its pronouns

[@orsettomorbido]

I have to admit that this is the first time that i've heard this at 20:47 I LOVE it. It makes so sense and it shows the importance of it. Thanks!

[@twinstarssystem2857]

It's how most trans people feel, as well! "Prefer" is language mostly used by and/or for cis people; it's pretty ballsy to come out and say it, especially to a large audience- lots of cis people get defensive/hostile

[@Ruby_V_]

​@@twinstarssystem2857 (Personally, I am happy with multiple sets of pronouns, and transitioning is a choice I made because I prefer living this way. Minor language squabbles like this don't impact much, because as was also discussed in video- what really matters is communicated more through the tone and subsequent actions.)

[@danielschmidt7153]

This should be a must watch video especially in these new generational years, you will at one point be taking care of patients of all genders

[@nema151]

I think if you plan too sleep with someone it's ok to ask.

[@AaronCZim]

I agree with 4:21 (don't make any assumptions). Pronouns can be like landmines. Some kind of language training is needed. If I give some text I've written to ChatGPT, it's pretty good at rephrasing it to use more sensitive terms.

[@Kpearso1]

UN-subscribing.

[@ryn2844]

byee

[@orsettomorbido]

Sorry we care about treating other people like people

[@bianka94825]

Ofc you are a Kyle