Get hot by becoming your own beauty standard

In this video, I go in-depth about a concept I mentioned in a previous video which is “becoming your OWN beauty standard”. Becoming your own beauty standard is how you become an IT girl. The girl that has that sexy uuuumf. The magnetism. The confidence. Everything. I first start by saying you must analyze yourself - your weaknesses, and your strengths and then use that to build out YOUR own standard of beauty within yourself, what you can improve on, and then create your own personal maintenance calendar to meet your standard. I then talk about letting go of this attachment to “ugly” and instead identifying and choosing to be HOT. When you constantly condition your brain to perceive yourself as ugly, it will go into overdrive trying to uphold that image for yourself. The brain will send the body messages, which form habits to uphold that image of the ugly. You won't dress up, you accept yourself as “below average”, and you'll neglect your appearance, all because you have identified as “ugly”. CHOOSE to be hot instead. Your own version of hot that's unique to you. That is where your real magnetic, irresistible energy will be cultivated. I go on to talk about the importance of being able to present your inside beauty to your outside with non-verbal language. This means, prioritizing your appearance, carrying yourself well, and having that confident energy. Doing this is so critical for the way people perceive you because perception is reality. If you don't appear to be THAT girl, no one will give you energy or time to listen to what you have to say. People are visual and I talk about how it's important to play up to that sense FIRST. Grab people's attention with your appearance, and keep them around with your value. Lastly, I mention that you're swindling yourself out of being confident and hot because you’re choosing to let your weaknesses be your excuses as to WHY you can't be an IT girl or THAT girl. You have a choice. Choose to be hot.
Being an it girl means that you commit yourself to becoming the best you, and doing that with full conviction. You aren't trying to be like anyone else, stop that shit. Have tunnel vision, focused attention ON YOU, and you only. Making YOU the best you and only trying to uphold that image of beauty, grace, and elegance. Not anyone else version, not anyone else’s ideal. That's a waste of precious energy that could be directed at yourself. Anytime you give an outside source attention - meaning you compare, you get sad, you feel unworthy - you are losing fuel.
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Keywords: feminine energy, strong boundaries, financial security, dating, detachment, magnetic energy, well-being, peace, empowerment, personal growth, how to be magnetic, self-interest, dream self, emotional regulation, self-worth, that girl,seeking validation,how to validate yourself,external validation,male validation,stop people pleasing,chasing others,chasing validation,grow your self worth,how to improve self worth,validate yourself sis,insecure,self doubt,people pleaser,chasing men,emotional validation,how to be more secure in yourself,be more independent,level up,self development,stop waiting for people,self love,how to be a confident woman,confident women

[@mariagarza1269]

The concept of setting yourself as your own beauty standard is genius and needed in this post Kardashian era.

[@maram6211]

You didn`t comprehend that the Kardashians are the epitome of new beauty standards and becoming it-girls, did you? Being envious of otehr women`s beauty and strategies doesn`t make anyone prettier.

[@mariagarza1269]

@@maram6211 Why would you think criticism of a negative cultural influence on young women equals envy? Just because you find them admirable for your own shallow reasons doesn't mean those of us who don't are jealous. It means we have stronger critical thinking skills.

[@samyljones3871]

YOURE BALIMING THE K SISTERS FOR STANDARDS THAT WERE CREATED BY WHITE MEN CENTURIES BEFORE THEY WERE EVER BORN? HOW ABOUT WE NOT HATE ON OTHER WOMAN

[@robynbeach3198]

@@maram6211 I'm not saying that every cosmetic procedure in every circumstance is a negative thing, but when a certain group of girls start very young, getting extreme cosmetic procedures on body parts that were already well within the beauty standard, along with very heavy makeup trends designed to completely change, rather than subtly enhance the facial features and create a trend for other young girls to do the same, it's DEFINITELY a systemic problem that's hurting women as a whole! There's no benefit to it in society or in the confidence of women. Health is the biggest marker of beauty and that's not healthy!

[@robynbeach3198]

@@mariagarza1269 I had a conversation with my priest once regarding bulimia and body dysmorphia and the conversation turned to how the Virgin Mary has always been painted and sculpted to reflect the highest beauty standard of the time and culture, but you can't paint her in modern American beauty standards because it would be pornographic. That says a lot about what we're promoting.

[@elenavargas7764]

Thank you for all this wisdom. You are a really smart person and all this information changes lifes

[@mikochild2]

Plus not everyone in society finds the same thing attractive. You have a target audience. Perfect you and love you. The people who like that will follow.

[@Dee-oq5ms]

Lmao at the beard! I’m in electrolysis for this reason now 😂😂😂

[@mamooshka9503]

Thank u so luch for this input ❤❤❤❤

[@Theprincessinyellow]

This is soo good!! When she said, " you're a dark skinned woman? ok, that's your super power, that's what makes you unique." I immediately thought about how I can just go around and smell like cocoa butter and vanilla and look glossy and juicy lol. No excuses, just become and embody the ideal that you are the beauty standard.

[@VickitaTrivedi]

Omg yes 👏🏼 the last line *chefs kiss*

[@elinmaria5034]

Growing up as an Scandinavia light skinned blond I actually always wanted dark skin, dark hair and brown eyes. Now I see how uniqly we all are created and everyone has their uniqe beauty.

[@Theprincessinyellow]

@@elinmaria5034 and you are so beautiful as you are!!! Isn’t it so funny that we always seem to idealize something we don’t have. I used to envy girls with light skin and blue or green eyes and more European features as the most naturally elegant and feminine and delicate but that never served me. There is so much room for all of us to be our own beauty standard!🥰🥰

[@elinmaria5034]

@@Theprincessinyellow so true!! We should just be grateful for what we have!

[@homodeus8713]

At boarding school many, many years ago one girl stopped in her tracks and said "Oh my GOD, you actually smell like chocolate." Thank you Palmer's because I most certainly did not take that as a racist comment.

[@Sallyy150]

I have always believed that there are no unattractive women, they just don’t care. I spent all my 20s looking very unattractive, because I was convinced that girls who put time, effort and money to look hot, are vain and stupid. Mind you, i have had friends who would spend thousands of dollars on every new product or procedure, and i didn’t want to spend any money on this, so I dropped the ball. Years later, I discover my own beauty points and enhance them and I look amazing, and even better, unique! All this with below average spending, like what I would pay for shampoos or pads.

[@AG-nn8lp]

No. I have Melasma. It's not because I don't care. It's because I can't do anything about it! Get real.

[@Mmmmkaaay]

​@@AG-nn8lpThere's treatment for melasma.

[@loona-tic9791]

You're delusional. Some people have bad features or diseases it's not because they're lazy !

[@bonelessfairy9456]

​@@AG-nn8lpIt doesn't make u ugly u can be pretty

[@TheAstroWitchLux]

Melasma, hyperpigmentation, acne, rosacea, excema etc don't mean you are ugly. If you really want to hide it, a full coverage foundation can cover it, doesn't need to be pricey- ELF, NYX, Sleek etc products are good. And Vitamin C, niacinamide, azelaic acid etc in skincare can slowly get rid of it. Many products have all these brightening ingredients in one like affordable products from the Inkey List and The ordinary.

[@Dgtlbath]

This la EXACTLY what my therapist told me five years ago. I was very overweight, hairy, messy, and insecure, and I was on a “This is me” mindset. Until she pointed out how I was clearly NOT okay with being like that, and how I’m actually NOT that person. I lost a lot of weight, I learned about my body type and my colours, I waxed my eyebrows and let my head hair grown in its natural colour and my life got 5000% better

[@del7920]

I love this! I’m at the beginning and I am overweight but I desperately want to be my full potential. Thank you for comment

[@prisha7298]

Hey i support your journey & strength but i need an advice. My parents dont allow me for those parlour,expensive skin care,manicure/pedicure and getting nails done things. And that's why i feel im average pretty but those blackheads unwaxed facial hair on chin makes me look ugly and i dont get that pretty privellege treatment ever. It breaks my heart to see i m pretty but due to my parents controlling my fashionsense, parlour n even makeup i get treated like oh you aren't even pretty eew. What can i do girlies 😢

[@renatacampos8652]

"if you don't have haters, you're doing something wrong" I like it. But remember it's only a few haters, if everyone pulls away from you at some point, maybe there's something wrong with you.

[@melodysafo5437]

Or maybe there is something wrong with them, not you.

[@melodysafo5437]

@@elmhart9220 what the hell are you and @renatacampos8652 talking about?! What you just said sounds victim blamey! Haven’t you ever heard of bullying? Are you saying that if everyone is mean to you, then you deserve it?! Both of you really have no empathy of decency! Nobody deserves to be bullied! If you say otherwise, then you should seriously consider getting your head checked!

[@yoohoo952]

my hater is granny from the neighbor because I cut bush

[@jclyntoledo]

​@@elmhart9220I think they are talking about ppl in dysfunctional families/friendships/work etc.

[@elizabethsepulveda9743]

Right but at times the one being hated on isn't always the problem and that is also another alternative to OP's comment, so honestly both can be correct, things are situational.

[@Thrivinginthespotlight]

Even the most beautiful girls in the world wear makeup, aka enhancement. That makes me feel better about wearing makeup. There shouldnt be any shame in wearing makeup.

[@VickitaTrivedi]

Very well said!

[@justme8841]

Its not enhancement. It is fake! Enhancement is skincare. You are literrally lying to yourself and others how you truly look like!

[@sarahd1706]

Audrey Hepburn was not the beauty standard of her time, but she did what worked for her. Making the best of her unique beauty instead of trying to “blend in” with others beauty is why she’s such a timeless stand out.

[@shirleyohara5943]

Beauty and being feminine is a gift for all girls

[@marte1376]

Except that beauty is something that can be built. You can workout, choosing nice clothes, eating healthy, makeup, manners, and personality.

[@hanavaughan6956]

❤

[@lanaharlow1209]

For too long I saw this as a curse, but we do have amazing gifts as women, thank you :) I need to remember this too, and continue to embody it instead of ignore it. I just have not sat and really thought of it much like that previously. More commonly my default beliefs have not been as positive and virtuous as this comment suggests womanhood can be. Thank you for sharing your perspective; it brings light and clarity to others who may have not have been as readily able to see it. 🙏🏻🧡

[@chevellehymans6150]

Very true queen

[@Shaishai-v7t]

​@chevellehymans6150 ❤

[@ashleysnow7470]

Honestly way back in the day woman wouldn’t be caught outside the front door without dressing up and upholding there beauty, and it didn’t matter what you physically looked like , you got up got dressed did your hair and put yourself together. This isn’t pretending to be someone, this is becoming someone! This is you having love and self care, and it’s needed!

[@la4894]

I love your vibe, your points and your delivery. Im 32 I pretty sure I’m older than you but you’re the big sis I always needed! Thank you for being there for us, I appreciate you!

[@suriaprebavaratharajoo6866]

She is the big sis we all need u said it ... even thou I am older she s just so smart , love her 🎉😂

[@Mellyouttaphase]

I am 38 and think this advice is awesome! As women start aging, they need to hear this more ;) My most confident friend is my 23 year old work colleague and this is her exact attitude. I love it and have learned so much from her!

[@bigcan7493]

I started the habit of whenever I looked in a mirror, instead of highlighting the things I didn't like, I highlighted the beautiful things, and ignore the other ones, taking them as a background thing. That eventually made me consider myself as naturally beautiful, because I developed the right eyes to see it. Then I understood that all the "uglies" are transitional things that, when you carry yourself as beautiful, simply change. Make sure to compliment yourself in personal ways, like your beautiful way of describing things, or the sound of your laugh, look at yourself as if you were a poet that is absurdly in love with you, even write a poem or draw if that's your thing, then everything about you becomes simply beautiful, because it belongs to you, and you are just infatuated with yourself.

[@shitfilm]

yup... it's important to highlight the surface things that make us beautiful but more so the internal things and personality!

[@Christina-sf4py]

@bigcan7493👌

[@soupafleye]

so many insecure men need to take this advice. they’re not confident and won’t work on themselves and then proceed to complain about not having a partner or friends or a career. you have to take accountability and initiative. operate in your most confident state and everything you wish to attract will follow.

[@isabelleandelliott]

I see your point, but facial hair does not equal ugly and a "weakness." Maybe we should stop giving women a number score?

[@BlueYellowGreenVc]

Well she did clarify that it was personal, but for her, it wasn't cute. If you find it cute, that's fine.

[@Highwizardd]

i agree, a lot stated is just consumerism.

[@scarlettkhan9667]

Some women have a lot of excess hair. Being Asian myself, black hair shows up on the face and skin. So someone with blonde hair on skin might not show up

[@noshoes1588]

I feel like I’ve always been told I’m naturally pretty so I’ve struggled with downplaying things - I purposefully have looked wrecked for years to make myself look small - baggy clothes no makeup no hair done not the best hygiene - I feel like I’ve made myself small bc I felt like getting all done up really made me seen and I felt uncomfortable by that because it put a pressure on me to uphold that for other people and a fear of aging that if I lean on that beauty when it fades I’ll be nothing - this video helped so much I’m not upholding a certain beauty standard or the young beauty others assign me I’m my own beauty standard and making myself look worse is just bad business lmao I’ll still be beautiful as I change and age because I am now focused on my assets whatever they are at any given point - well time to enter my hot girl era if girls and guys stare then they stare I’m not making myself smaller anymore - xoxo

[@inuhundchien6041]

Maybe you don't realize your hidden trauma. For me, I was pretty then I was unpretty for a number of years and then I lose weight and be hot and then all the wolves came and bother me. And I remember why I decided to be less pretty in the first place lol! Now I'm older I feel safer in losing the weight again so I understand when she said that I don't want people to look at me. Their eyes are disgusting.

[@anapardo8847]

I have seen this, it's awful. I remember in university while in a small co-ed group, about 7. Somehow this particular young freshman female came up in conversation who most of us knew. She was and is, this was 15 years ago, a natural beauty. The guys who didn't know about her were eager to know more and then 2 of the girls there, who were attractive themselves, immediately said, "ugh, I hate her!" Their pettiness was so blunt, which shocked me because they weren't petty women. I saw their true colors then. They were both fairly young too. Myself and 3 of the other guys were older folks, in our late 20s. I called them out. That particular girl was and is a sweetheart. She would get so much hate and negativity from both genders because of her looks. People assumed she didn't have to try and could get away with anything or get anything just by her perfect looks. This girl really did have it all, youth, thick beautiful hair, perfect skin, beautiful face, large hazelnut brown eyes, height, figure. However her most beautiful feature was her soul. She was the most loving and caring individual. No one deserves to be put down or belittled, especially for their physical appearance and traits. Or tried to be taken advantage of in spite or despite the beauty they possess or fail to possess.

[@belinda1996]

'thats not being catfish, that’s being smart' 🤣 well said

[@pretichaturvedi171]

Presenting yourself nicely is respectful to yourself and others around you. Thanks for encouraging doing your best!

[@sarah.j.777]

Exactly, thank you. It's not a game we created but it exists, so we have to dominate it because nothing is getting in the way of what we want.

[@bleeploughly6311]

I started doing this a few months ago but I didn’t know what to call it. I realized I started growing as a person when I look at other gorgeous, successful women and I’m happy for them, not jealous. I’ve been putting more effort into my appearance and people have noticed. My mood has been better, I feel better, my skin is better, everything is better.

[@cansukokturk4815]

what did you do

[@howdidthishappen6498]

I was listening till you called being average as stupid, let people chill being average

[@whl.523]

Why? This is a channel all about being a “high value woman” who’s still feminine but powerful. If you want to look average and be basic and live your life- go ahead. But you’re not having that 7 figure and champagne popping glamor she’s advocating for

[@amarielove27]

Sometimes your confidence will make you beautiful… it’s all about how you feel about you, an energy. The unibrow isn’t the problem.

[@PlutonianPriestess]

this is true in a subjective way but objectively when you are more in alignment with the societal/collective beauty standards things get so much easier as well

[@spacebar9733]

Exactly

[@spacebar9733]

​@@PlutonianPriestess youre not getting it.

[@Hello0x0]

@@PlutonianPriestess if its not authentic to you, than it will show no matter the attenion, perks, etc you enjoy you will feel the mask slipping. I see many people regret their plastic surgry and many who wish they did it sooner, those who regret were implusive, taken advantage of and most likely a spefic trend outlined their insecurity or poor mental health. Where as those that dont regret it have a air of confidence and weirdly inner peace.

[@ShaniTheBurningTree]

Yes you can make your own standard.

[@truthinlovemama]

This rings true. Years ago, I went to an open interview. They had multiple managers interviewing people. My first interview didn’t seem to go very well, and I got the “we’ll be in touch” line. However, I had dressed up and looked my best. Another manager saw me walking out and said, “Get her- don’t let her leave!” I ended up talking with him and getting a job offer on the spot even though I didn’t exactly fit their desires for scheduling. I stood out just because of the effort I had put into looking professional and stylish instead of wearing jeans like a lot of the other applicants. It works! 3 kids now, a decade older and 20+ pounds… I don’t feel my best. It is easy to settle because I stay at home with the kids. This was a good reminder to prioritize looking and feeling beautiful for me.

[@lindaraj3643]

You can look the way you want-- you got this!

[@lemonmochi8669]

just becareful that when you prioritize too much of whats on the surface the quality of relationships and connections you acquire is just as surface. all i can say is. nothing beats the emotional fulfilment of true intimacy where someone loves and sees u for who u really are. no amount of fixing urself gives u that. when u keep fixing urself its an indication that u have lost urself.

[@luckycharm1212]

Very true. I noticed that i keep attracting shallow people into my life when i focused more on fixing my looks. And those people expected me to always look good even when I was sick. They even told me that i don't look good when I was unwell😢 There's nothing wrong in dressing up or upgrading your looks. But the point is, people are still going to say something negative if they want to. This video seemed more like this person rationalizing her decision to focus more on her looks.

[@Skies133]

While what you're saying is true, I don't think this msg is for you. As someone that grew up with extremely low self-esteem, I always thought I was ugly but now being 32 getting out of a relationship that destroyed my self-esteem even more (I didn't think that could be possible) when I look back of my pictures from 10yrs ago I realised I wasn't as ugly as I thought. I got into relationships with shitty men because I thought that was the best I could do but now I have truly let myself go and need to rebuild myself. This needs to be heard by women and girls that need this push.

[@skbanyu]

It's the balance. I agree with what she said if we don't look like we take care or treat ourself well, why we expect people to do the same for us. As for style etc, there we can have our personality there and not to conform but something like skincare or basic hygene is a must.

[@loona-tic9791]

I agree but people are shallow. If you're way below the standards, people will hate you for that, just because of the way you look.

[@inuhundchien6041]

I agree that making your surface a priority is not good, but the things that she pointed out is honestly not much, it's a basic. At least its a basic just 50 years ago. Both men and women are expected to wear nice pressed clothes, trimmed/coiffed hair, keep healthy weight, be clean shaving. We can say that the social rule is not as rigid as before, but the rules are basically not there people just go out in their pajamas and bed hair and think nothing of it. People in general just don't meet the standard.

[@tthierryteresa2930]

I'm struggling with aging. This is the most difficult case of believing in my hotness, in my own beauty and m'y own standards. Society standards are not helping. But this talk is a good talk and I'll apply it to myself. Thank you very much.

[@mattie4775]

I just found Lisa from peaches skin care on KZbin and she’s changed my whole perspective on aging and beauty

[@AGirlCalledJim]

This. It's not other people's beauty I'm comparing myself to, it's my own.

[@Natacha1111]

There are things you can do at home. I recommend the honest channel for holistic advice. I know a lot of women above a certain looking better than before bc of clean eating, working out, skin care and face massages.

[@del7920]

There is beauty and grace everywhere, even in ageing ❤❤❤

[@ciggytwiggy]

I have seen gorgeous women in their 40s 50s 60s and even 70s. It's that something they exude, how they carry themselves. I was like wow I wanna be like that

[@JuliaShalomJordan]

I grew up in a religious home which shamed me for wanting to put an effort in my fashion and appearance. God created me to appreciate beauty and to bring it out in others…including myself! It’s a shame NOT to embrace the best version of you for that’s settling for the crumbs of life.

[@paracoco1761]

Same. I was forbidden from doing anything to improve my appearance, because of the idea that girls who do it are immoral and trying to attract boys. My father used to trim my hair close to the scalp, and I was only allowed to wear oversized shapeless clothing.

[@nagemb007]

Love this!

[@rhighan4357]

Yes, religion is all about ritual and shame. Jesus Christ set the captives free. Praise God for Jesus the only way to the Father from this ai inverted false idol hell realm

[@SonyaKhanOfficial]

Same here! Thats why I moved far away

[@JuliaShalomJordan]

@@nagemb007 💞💞💞

[@AfuaYmani]

Daily cuticle oil and top coat Scalp oil ev other day Weekly self mani Weekly hair wash day Monthly pedicure Wax ev 6 weeks Lash lift ev 6 weeks Microshaded brows every year or two New lingerie set ev month Shoes every payday It's a lifestyle now

[@Jennifer-uh8th]

Shoes every pay day is a bit excessive

[@K4thryn]

Love this

[@TamTam9-15]

I rely too heavily on my natural attractiveness or I get too comfortable. I’m cute but I know I could be more. I need to do the things you mentioned to elevate my look! Especially my clothes cloths make such a huge difference

[@DearStephanieX]

I love this ❤

[@AfuaYmani]

@@Jennifer-uh8th for who?

[@lindabyrne5692]

Thank you for posting this. I am 63 and have been struggling with this all my life. When I was 56 and stood in the mirror with not one hair on my body ... nose hairs are underrated. (I was going through chemo.) I "saw" myself and decided I wasn't "that bad." No worse than anyone else. But chemo does a number on your body and I aged 15 years is 5 months. (At least I didn't die.) Now I have to grapple with lines. I'm okay with the gray. But I sometimes think I need to dye it.

[@minuit6305]

I know this may sound crazy but have you ever tried law of assumption affirmations for beauty or if you more experimental pagan rituals of beauty or health? I had 3 strokes and my looks collapse on my bones. After I started doing certain rituals I started looking good again. People tell me all the time. Thought it may help.

[@lindabyrne5692]

@@minuit6305 I do affirmations but mostly for business and I do a gratitude list.

[@tthierryteresa2930]

​@@minuit6305what is that i'm curious and interested!

[@avfeland]

Try highlighting your Grey instead of completely dyeing it. It's a fun look and less of a sharp line as it grows out

[@monkeyseemonkeydo2597]

@@minuit6305can you share some rituals you used?

[@HarrisPilton789]

I’ve been saying this for years! Even Hollywood celebrities need a maintenance routine to be beautiful. It just takes effort; not genetics.

[@kamifaye]

Why would embracing our natural features like skin color not also translate into body or facial hair? Isn’t that still adhering to external standards of beauty? At some points you say to embrace your own unique features and natural self, but also how one can better morph themselves to fit the beauty standard.

[@cint08950]

I think she has a different approach to what you and I have. She's chosen to run with the beauty standard of the world, albeit augmenting it a little, so she would not fall victim to it. While we, on the other hand, have chosen to accept ourselves as we are and not succumb to pressure to conform, we might not be winning in the.minds of other people, but we're also not victims, but the trouble with that of course is you have to be mentally tough to keep it up, swimming against the current like she says. But there are a lot of ppl like that in this world, ppl with disfigurements and scars who have just learned to accept themselves as they are.❤ they'll have a hard life but it just shows that it is still possibly

[@SGR18062O]

Great points, but I would like to say that the idea that ‘you won’t be listened to unless you’re visually appealing,’ mostly applies to women or feminine-presenting people. Men can more often get by without focusing on their appearance and still have their opinions valued. This shouldn’t just be accepted as an unchangeable part of society. To all the intelligent women out there, change your appearance for your own happiness, not because you want to be listened to/have pretty privilege.

[@bluebutterfly5062]

Yes and no. You're absolutely correct that women have a hard time getting "seen" unless they are gorgeous, however even men can't get away with looking crusty and unkempt. Everyone needs to take care of their body and looks to a certain extent

[@aadyasingh7860]

The landscaping example 💯 In India where I live the older generation mostly still shames you for putting effort into our appearance and younger generation even though more accepting can be competitive with such women. Much needed talk ❤

[@fatemad4012]

How are they shaming?

[@aadyasingh7860]

@@fatemad4012 they tell you stuff like in our times you could only do makeup after you're married or who are you trying to look so good for, etc etc

[@fatemad4012]

@@aadyasingh7860 they are worse and jealous mostly women do this

[@aadyasingh7860]

@@fatemad4012 True but when I was younger I took adult advice for gospel and I thought looking after oneself is wrong!

[@anujagawali]

Damn so true Aadya I have experienced the same .. I have been also in to self care since I was 11-12 and I have been shamed for being too self obsessed or self caring imean I had no one to take care of myself I had to do it and yes as I grew up I indeed saw the competition towards me from peers or other females even older females 😅

[@mariaschinz515]

this is very empowering and so very true!! I wish I had known this 20 years ago!!!

[@nadanalia3000]

I absolutely agree. Not that we should care to much about men’s opinions of our looks, but even they really appreciate when we put in the effort to go from a 5 to a 7.

[@pennypenny376]

Hanging around women who are 10+ years older than me, they remind me of features I take for granted. They are like my angels in disguise.

[@lindiwerakhetla4740]

I came across your channel on Sunday evening and honestly I can safely say you are an answered prayer to me. I thank God for you and the wisdom you are instilling in me❤

[@funtimesindeed]

*tretinoin and other active ingredients for skin *weightlifting/yoga 4+ per week *dental cleaning every 3 months * wear a silk bonnet every night and trim split ends every 6 weeks *eat whole foods as much as possible

[@mufasahm8238]

I love how you inspire women to be their best. Yes the audio is better. May I add though, I disagree with the "camouflage" or calling what you have naturally is a mistake and it must be covered. A lovely advise can be to accept and enjoy one's natural self, then enhance naturally or else one will have insecurity and self hate no matter how much you cover/camouflage. xx

[@chokalita_]

Great video! Exercize dialy, going to a haidress twice per month, do a nails, pedicure, little make up, shopping once per month, use good skin care, eat healthy, sleep well, being positive and enjoy the life...these things will attract the love of your life, job which you enjoy, friends and family that are care for you...beacuse with this attitude you show that you love yourself ❣️

[@mirianakovachevic748]

Well, I did all that and now I have good job, friends and family but I didn't attract a love of my life. It works a bit different, some of us are unattractive to men and that's it. End of story.

[@AG-nn8lp]

😂im sorry no disrespect but no. Do all that and you can still not have those things. Also, let's not be delusional. I used to be a knockout. Got melasma at 30 and not a damned thing I can do. No matter what you tell yourself, people will see you as they do.

[@prisha7298]

My parents don't allow tht manicure/pedicure stuff n getting nails done n wearing revealing clothes n going to parlour monthly stuff. Im pretty average but not hving access to above things i feel ugly n even get treated like that 😢💔 what can i do now

[@scarlettkhan9667]

You can buy false nails in shops, dye your hair etc yourself. Get a job and then you can do all those things x

[@gatacalifas]

have you guys ever asked yourselves why y'all wanna be the prettiest? Cuz to me it looks like y'all are wasting y'all youth complaining about your face, not realizing that right now is the best you'll ever look cuz one day you will be old and ugly. Life isnt about looks. Read a book or sum shit

[@VickitaTrivedi]

I don’t think we need the books here but thanks for the uneducated opinion

[@gatacalifas]

@@VickitaTrivedi wow. No wonder ur teaching women how to elevate their face instead of minds. You have no comprehension skills.

[@ElleKLLL]

I love the overall message, but I really hate that you kept using race and skin color as a factor as the example for being unattractive/ugly. There are beautiful people in every race just like there are people who perceived as unattractive in every race and shade. I know my opinion doesn’t matter and it’s not my intent to be argumentative. Again, great overall message.

[@VickitaTrivedi]

I used that example as it’s the main reason WHY people don’t like themselves, ESPECIALLY women of color. I’m pulling from my own experience. And if you actually listen to what I’m saying I’m using it as a point of power rather than shame…

[@nerd1858]

I am so glad you made this video. I'm gen X so I look around and I don't understand why so many younger people these days all want to get plastic surgery to look like the same person. I grew up knowing beyond a doubt that everyone is unique and beautiful. It just takes the right formula to bring out a person's best parts. Don't be ashamed of your differences. Embrace them. Your unique traits are what make you beautiful

[@VickitaTrivedi]

YES 🙌

[@loona-tic9791]

I want surgery because despite taking care of myself, I don't fit the beauty standards and people think I'm ugly so they treat me like shit.

[@nerd1858]

@@loona-tic9791 nobody deserves to be treated like crap for being themselves. Make new beauty standards.

[@loona-tic9791]

@@nerd1858 I agree but society makes the standards so it takes more than one person obviously. I know LOA and such say that she should be delusional but I don't think it's healthy. What I mean is that we shouldn't judge people for getting surgery, I think most people who do are insecure but the ones we see are always those who look like Kim K because they're the most popular.

[@asavvina]

Of the things you cannot change, don't forget disability.

[@SonyaKhanOfficial]

THISSSS

[@arte1447]

I'd argue that being dark skinned is not the beauty standard. In Poland, for example, where al.ost everyone is white, dark skinned girls are automatically perceived as way, way, waaay hotter and more attractive. Guys love dark skinned girls here. Girls too, for that matter.

[@memoona853]

That's how I've been doing it all my life andI noticed people using me as a trend. So yes, it works. Even the girls who secretly hated me were copying me

[@HarrisPilton789]

Exactly!

[@honeyisnatural5]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@robynbeach3198]

Let me prove her right here... I'm as white as it gets and tell myself to accept ugliness because I can't tan... (spray tans are orange, don't go there...) I always felt Indian and middle Eastern women were the most beautiful in the world. It's DEFINITELY a perception!

[@vd4868]

Yeah, the video kept mentioning how "white is the beauty standard", and I'm sitting here thinking that only SOME shades of white can be considered a beauty standard. As a very pale person - think like a sheet of paper - I was bullied due to my skin color. I wasn't the right kind of white for many. That's the only part of the video I heartily disagreed with.

[@robynbeach3198]

@@vd4868 I feel that, but it also depends on the culture. We tend to think of the term "beauty standard" as either the beauty standard we grew up with or the one we're seeing now. But beauty standards are totally different cross culturally and cross generationally. In the late 90s we all wanted to be as skinny as possible, but somehow still have boobs. Absolutely NOBODY wanted a big butt or hips. We thought of that as a horrible thing. Now boobs and even thinness are less important because everyone is focused on a big curvy butt and hips. Blonde used to be the desired hair color, but now red head fetishes are in full swing (red hair used to be considered the epitome of ugly.) We used to want skinny pencil line eyebrows, now they're so thick any 90s girl would consider waxing a medical emergency. 1960s America was the first time being super skinny was a real trend in any culture. Through the ages women were expected to have a certain amount of fat. Think Marilyn Monroe. From the 11th to the 19th century you can look at the changes in corset shape, which are actually quite dramatic. That's also a good time frame to look at nude paintings and the dramatic changes in what was considered high level beauty. Renaissance Italian artists painted unnaturally long fingers as a sign of beauty. And what about Elizabethan England? Among other atrocious beauty trends women used lead makeup to paint their faces white and put bright red circles on their cheeks and plucked out their hair to give the appearance of a receding hairline! Anybody think that's beautiful now...? *crickets* around the world there are women stretching out their bottom lip with big plates, putting rings around their necks till it's 2 feet long, foot binding, putting large animal bones through their noses, putting weights on their boobs to make them sag to the ground, and every bit of that is perceived as the height of beauty in its given culture. Bearing that in mind, being my own beauty standard can't be that far fetched...

[@anab4509]

You are so well spoken, thank you for this!

[@adrianavargova]

It's interesting that I uploaded my photo to an Attraction app, and it rated me 4. I do not see myself as a 4 at all. I did what you said. I changed things that could've been changed. I am tall, thin, freckled, curly redhead wearing glasses, so what? There are too many prejudices about my type - think of Nicole Kidman. I have got blonde highlights and bleached teeth, I am in good shape, and I always put myself together, have quality jewellery, and wear expensive perfumes. I always look elegant and posh. You are right. Who tells me that I am 4? Whose standards are those?! I am intelligent and know how to carry myself.

[@Ultra-v1y]

I have a daughter and I taught her that no matter beautiful a girl or woman looks to you, you do not know jow long it takes her to get ready, you don't know what she does to look like that, you don't know what she may be experiencing with her mind, her body, her spirit. Some women DID just wake up like that and understand that that is great. Every woman has something that another woman wishes she had. So instead, do not focus on other women. Learn from women, study them yes, but be the best version of yourself. Play up all of your own wonderful features. If you can change or modify some features you don't care for without surgery do so. Increase on your looks daily. My daughter has a beautiful spirit, a sharp mind and is very kind hearted. I let her know that beauty and shallowness, do not have to go hand in hand. Beauty and kindness, a sincere smile, and discernment. It's a balance.

[@liviareyna6704]

leo skepi "Your lack of discipline makes you ugly."

[@YFL.111]

Who is leo skepi?

[@honeyisnatural5]

I found myself catering to my husband idea of a woman being natural. Not caring too much about how we look is actually more attractive. Caring too much makes us phony, fake, wearing a mask. However, Recently I decided he was full of sh**, wrong, doesn’t know what he wants. Would prefer men to not look at me. Not give him “competition” (even tho I’m never swayed) I’m reading a book called “Dark feminine”about uncovering your truest self from the darkness to which is was casted for the sake of preserving the standard of the patriarchy. Now I’m unapologetic about wearing make up, buying new clothes, and spending time on my hair and nails. Ultimately being and feeling cute. I’m literally doing this for me. And guess what y’all, he be sweatin me now 🤫🤭🤭🤭

[@Divinia93]

A great alternative title for this video is “How to and why you should LOVE YOUrself.” Great content and it’s so refreshing to see more and more women, especially the young ladies, level up and be not only physically beautiful, but highly intelligent. Life is a game, and knowing how to navigate it will be your greatest strength. xoxo 💕

[@anaisgeoffrion2819]

I've never understood why people think that non white women are seen as less attractive. In my opinion, most beautiful women are not white. I remember when I was a teenager, I would see Jennifer Lopez, Christina Aguilera, Rihanna and Beyonce as beauty models and I was really impressed by their femininity, charms and charisma. People around me were mostly white and they were looking average so I thought non white individuals must look better.

[@CherryBlossom-t8p]

Skin colour is never ugly though, just saying.

[@Tamietwist]

Yeah or maybe I do not feel like having to pay or give time to cake up my normal looking face...😂

[@myranaam8562]

This video is amazing! But be careful in promoting unrelentless journey of self improvement which can also lead to toxic behaviors - such as getting invasive surgeries; overfilled face; extreme consumerism; etc…. We need to find a balance between elegant and alluring beauty, without being carried away in mass contributing to the beauty industrial complex with cycle of endless materialism and consumerism.

[@go_digitalwithglamour]

I'm so glad this came up. Ive been having this burning desire to take really good care of myself and look different before this year ends. You've given me the final push I need. Gotten a new subscriber ❤️

[@nevakear4834]

I have an ex-boyfriend. I had taken a shower earlier in the day and had put clothes on that I liked and when we met up he told me that I didn't look good and that I didn't look like I took care of myself. The next time we met up I hadn't taken a shower for four days so obviously I was rank and looked it or so I thought. My outfit was yoga pants and a black shirt. He was all over me. He was saying how pretty I was. I told him I hadn't showered in four days. He still went on about how beautiful I was. Yeah, beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder.

[@momikal2238]

I’m only three minutes into this, and I must interject! If you were ever bullied in your life, you are the perfect candidate for what she is saying. I’m cheering you on! ❤ Pale girl- bullied. They were wrong about me, and I can prove it!

[@angelinafoster8747]

I really needed this video because I got stretch marks and I know it’s silly but it ruined me. I was so obsessed with being perfect and looking like a model that getting stretch marks made me feel inferior to every girl that doesn’t have them. You opened my eyes. I can’t change it but that doesn’t mean I can’t keep working to make the rest of my body look good, to make my best features pop out even more, to look beautiful even with the flaws I may have. I can’t give up just because of one thing that made me feel like it was over. Working on yourself can never be over and I understood that now.

[@VickitaTrivedi]

i've always had stretch marks, still do and always will - they're part of your uniqueness and add character. Embrace them ❤️

[@chelsiearthome8094]

I love my stretch marks! They are beautiful and add uniqueness and art to your body! Lots of things can fade them but I think they're perfect

[@ezzyr3009]

I can assure you every girl and guy has stretch marks at least from childhood growth spurts and from puberty. They’re completely normal. 💗

[@TrulsPen]

But you look like you’ve had several procedures therefore fitting the basic stereotype of kardashian

[@Sara-kc6md]

Our society is so messed up that a woman is only respected if she "enhances" her face with make-up to look prettier than she actually is. It's EXPECTED. We have to paint our freaking faces! Humanity has not always been like that. Many countries do NOT have this social expectation. Only industrialized societies do. I haven't worn make-up for 41 years and now I'm on KZbin learning how to look prettier to get respect. Just some damn respect, not validation, just treated like an actual human being. It's ridiculous we have to buy paint kits so that we can "respect ourselves".

[@magpie4992]

I love this - this is it. I accept and love myself, and because of that - I look to myself for my beauty standard. So much more empowering than forcing myself either into a box that I don't even like, or deny what I want by forcing myself to accept things I have the power to choose in the name of fighting those boxes. I had my makeup done by a Dior MUA who has worked on runways, photo shoots - the other two women I was with were older, and immediately went to features of that - and he said this exact same thing, its not about meeting a particular standard - but looking for your beauty, your key and eye catching features - and emphasizing it. That was maybe the first time I really saw the full beauty of my lips - yes they're '' smaller '' - but they also have a beautiful shape, and are plump. I can emphasize that - I can see it every time I look in the mirror. Phw - what a breath of fresh air.

[@janelle_godin]

i resonate with the way you think so much!

[@xlovelyb]

That landscaping analogy is so good! Esp I have maintenance coming in every 2 weeks to maintain our yard. I should also be doing that for myself and not just when I feel like it or there's an event, etc.

[@sylvias190]

Myopic take on attractiveness

[@hetepeirene7485]

THANK YOU!!!! You inspired me. P.S.: If you're dark-skinned and reading this comment DON'T YOU DARE FEEL INSECURE about that, because your skin colour is GORGEOUS

[@oooh19]

This is a great view. So many people say looks don’t matter it’s what’s inside but it’s inside can be reflected on the outside

[@Itsmaliy]

Side note: the fact that you didn’t brought “white skin” as relatable to ugly but only used “dark skin” is interesting. U lost me there. U said “I’m ugly because I’m dark skin but not “I’m ugly because I’m white skin” 🤔 black is beauty ppl. Use other examples 😂

[@VickitaTrivedi]

Girl what… The point of those examples is to illuminate the fact that they ARE beautiful even though POC aren’t deemed society’s standard of beauty. The whole message is helping women of color recognize their beauty instead of using it as an excuse to classify themselves as ugly. Why would I use white skinned women who ARE the standard to prove my point that unique = beautiful. Let’s use critical thinking before running to assumptions.

[@isi7098]

The problem is when you get competitive and want to be the prettiest in the world (no kidding that’s literally what I go through). ;((

[@lamosObamias]

beaytifull is not sexy! Are two different things! You should be sexy with your man only as a high value woman but beautifull to everyone!

[@family_ranching]

Thank you SO much! These are things I wish we were taught by our mothers! These are the things I want to pass down to my daughters! So many of us were raised to believe that putting ANY effort into our appearance is vain, and not a worthwhile expenditure of our time! I have learned SO much through young ladies such as yourself who are teaching such important things!

[@ShaniTheBurningTree]

It’s a discipline to be a top tier female. Being beautiful is not enough. I’m already beautiful with no effort. One must take care of the mental, physical and spiritual. It’s an effort that draws up the highest version of oneself. The maintenance is non negotiable. Lifting weights is part of that. Praying is always a part of that and eating is another part. Without self care and health, you will not thrive. Beauty is fkn mental. Understand and believe that. That’s why you can see unconventionally attractive women steal the room. Trust me, being pretty…is more than skin deep.

[@SomewhataMystery]

The movie I feel pretty this she wanted to be everything she did have to lose any weight but she started believing in herself. Not that person is ugly its society tell how people to be just gotta do your own ways. Being the best assit in life become the partner you seek. Dating self , please , reward , self , invest in the life.Get rid of ugly mind bad behavoir and jelously make peace you can have everything you want.

[@Martinevdh]

My god this was the EXACT video that’s matching what I was struggling with: are you authentic if you present yourself prettier. Thankyouuuu❤️

[@mahnooryaseen4100]

Wow simply wow Loved the video loved every bit of it and yesss it was a hell of an eye opener for me 💯💓

[@DS-fp1hh]

You are very critical of urself. Have more self compassion. U have been great and u are doing great. There's so much intrinsic value u have attached to ur external physical body. Go easier on urself. Don't just be feminine for the men physically but also energetically for urself.

[@YFL.111]

I agree with everything but please I would suggest not putting numbers on people. We are not a lifeless manequin or an amazon package that has to have a rating, we are human beings. Let,s.not dehumanize people😅

[@naomim7598]

Great video!! Thanks for this, everything you have said is spot on! It’s funny the older I get (I am now 30) I have really realised that I can change my appearance for the better and am in my glow up era! So true about not comparing to others as that is victim mindset!! That used to be my biggest issue constantly comparing myself to other women.

[@YFL.111]

Looks matter not because human beings are dumb and superficial , but because as she says there is a corelation between inside and outside. Even if you are not perfect when you look like you take care of yourself, you signal selfrespect, selfsteem, femininity and emotional health And we domt need to be models to do that.

[@thefurrybunch4071]

I feel like my crooked teeth and no lips take away from anything else I do, my biggest and only weakness I feel. What can I do? I’m trying to save to fix my mouth..

[@melissaanthonyxb2730]

I realised when I didn't used to take care of myself at all as in no exercise no skincare no emphasis on my own fashion, I craved for the validation of others. I needed someone to tell me I was beautiful the way I was. I wasted a lot of time trying to find that person. But when I actually started to take care of myself, in my dressing sense, in Doing my skincare I feel validated by myself. I feel as If I don't need the validation of other people. I don't care if people don't find me beautiful because I know I am beautiful because I make myself feel that everyday.

[@shibu2935]

Girl you stole my heart....and every word you said was relatable to me and this video will be life changing for me

[@gloriajj]

this is actually super body positive.

[@justme8841]

Ok. But if you have alot of unattractive features in your face, you are ugly. Most people avarage, so they can work well with what they have. Some say I am avarage some others even say I am below average. I really need to good care of myself to look at least decent. So please stop lying and gaslight yourself if you are ugly.

[@hettiegrubbs]

So glad this video popped up on my home page - totally game changing -- make yourself your own beauty standard, and then work for it!Love, love, love this mindset. Thank you for a great video.

[@VickitaTrivedi]

You're so welcome!

[@Pennelopeh]

I love this! You should be a motivational speaker

[@keithleenlaboy1421]

The way you overcome your own weaknesses makes you unique, therefore, authentic ✨️

[@ladiiyb]

I remember when I was in high school, I asked my friends to help me with makeup and they were like "but you look beautiful naturally" 🙄 Like yes I know but I want to wear makeup. I never went further. Then years later ,I learnt that people often dont like when you do "better" then them

[@mariaschinz515]

and might I add: you look stunning!

[@Mya-Elba]

So many women want to be their best self, they have the potential, the style, but they don’t have the means, the media don’t talk about those women and prefer to think they’re lazy

[@verycherry4459]

I needed to hear this today. ❤ Thank you.

[@datingdiaries1681]

Same

[@Rhileyn]

Basically, you’re not ugly, you’re just broke. Wanted to add some points- it’s okay if you have facial hair (I know the video doesn’t suggest otherwise, still, just saying it for whoever needs to hear this) and choose not to do anything about it despite wanting to. Many people with PCOS actually cannot get rid of all of it without it coming back as stubbly, and laser hair removal actually might give them more hair, especially in the case of Middle Eastern and South Asian women. As someone who got a lot of hair treatment in the past, I would still love to continue that, but I also know the adverse impact it has on my hair health; a lot of these beauty procedures come at the cost of your health alongside the obvious time and financial commitments; I really wish we could have both good health and beauty at once :((

[@nello9077]

I can put maximum effort, but I still feel like only plastic surgery will fix my face😓

[@carolmendes2011]

Amazing video - owning the desire to feel better, to feel beautiful and being unapologetic about it is an act almost rebellious right? I got trapped in the "I don't want to be shallow" vibes - but as you said, I'm not showing my inside self to the world. That is just a waste of my experience. - thank you so much

[@lisistratx]

am I the only one who misread the title? thought she was gonna talk about IT as in information technologies

[@thebatbag]

This is so true. You have to put effort into yourself. When I put effort into my appearance (and actually had a schedule/routine for what I would do) it helped me a lot. Lately I have been finding myself slipping into thinking bad about myself and my beauty, as well as not taking the actions that I need to...but this video has reminded me to keep going with the routine that I had. 😊

[@SocialmediabridesHeidi]

I really hope this doesn’t offend but I clicked this video by accident as it came up on recommended, and I kinda rolled my eyes at the title. But by the end of the video I was like ‘u know what she is beautiful - she has huge eyes and big lips’. The psychology worked on me😂