Get Rea!: My Parents, My A-T-M

Mr Tan retired with a sizeable nest egg. But soon, his children started borrowing money. Money that was never returned. Just how prevalent is financial exploitation of the old in Singapore. A quiet but no less insidious form of abuse - are the elderly suffering in silence, often too ashamed to share?

[@simplelifed7523]

I can't imagine how some adult children still have the cheek to ask/borrow money. I've been supporting/helping my folks since young and even during my toughest time. I never ask any help, i believe using your own money to do your business. You learn accountability.

[@kittychang332]

I am sad too, we're 3 children family and my brother wiped out my mom's and sister's savings and later still called to ask for more money. Of course the answer is no.

[@snackgila]

My parents never ask money from theirs own children. They just want us to be happy. When I gave them money, they refused. Even sometime they still gave some pocket money to buy food. When I refused the money, they will scold me with _,' do you think I'm older and can't make money?! Take the money! ' ,as they said. Even it small amount, my parents want to say that when they get older, they still can make money to live without children's money. They sometimes feel humiliated when they take theirs own children money since they know they still capable to find some cash to give . I'm so lucky to have good parents. I wishes I could pay them back triple.

[@chinigirlX3]

I feel so sad.. so incredibly sad :( as a child, how can u live with urself?? I hope the children will realise soon, how cruel they are and help their parents.

[@gloriarael4059]

Children are not "TAUGHT" to take care of their parents...they are "SHOWN" by the kindness and love the parents show them when they are raising their children. You can't expect your children to care about you if you were an absent or crappy parent. If you weren't a bad parent then your kid is going to go through life having to deal with a thing called "Karma".

[@MKiurinuRigold]

You can show kindness however there will be those who does not know how to Repay parental love

[@theunknownlego1002]

This hurts my heart, the one that the 3 sons didn’t pay back. My heart was broken

[@crystal8537]

Usd $50K omg h

[@keepingneoh4692]

Elderly parent being financially abuse by own children occurred long long time ago in Singapore ..when I was a volunteer at Old folk home and Day care centre for elderly .. my heart broke to see our Pioneer Generation who helped our Nation-building painstakingly ended up been abandon and financial exploitation by own flesh & blood ...pls help the hopeless & helpless elderly folks to live with dignity and warmth of the caring community ..pls pls extend your helping hand to the needy & helplessness in our society ..TQVM

[@crystal8537]

So what have u helped?

[@31330496RachelYang]

Crystal volunteer at the old folks centre he/she says :) time and presence spent with these lonely and abandoned is often so precious ❤️

[@ngannie5341]

I believe in karma! His 3 sons will get old one days. In next life his 3 sons hv to repay back doubles all d money to him.

[@fayechenfei7578]

So sad watching this,we will get old one day

[@kimhewson8939]

Thanks for sharing lovely story. It’s show us that children now new centuries that don’t care of their parents anymore and that is very sad world that we are living. All the elderly should take care themselves because their children will come and take all the money that elderly savings all their life. All children go and get the job and start earning money not come and ask money from their parents. The world is going backwards not forward. It’s very sad that we in the wrong centuries.

[@Loyt717]

My parents should watch this video to know how lucky they are..and stop fighting and cause us headache

[@Vecmo]

Jasmine Low that’s the not the purpose

[@Brandallcubex]

My parents stopped to gave me any money once i created my own. Instead, they taught me how to treat them next with my own money. It makes me very independent and never depend on them to give me any money, instead, i think on how to created more money for me. Somehow i didnt get any point why parents need to lend/give their adult children money to support their lives. It spoiled them, and they wouldnt use their brains how to support themselves. They're adult!! Get a job for god's sake! Build a business! Anything! Do whatever it takes!!! Period! PS : Also we cannot blame their children only tho, somehow children were raised by their parents. Shouldve asked the parents themselves how they raised their children from the beginning to be like that. Period

[@beetledune9264]

Exactly!

[@farah6258]

Stopped at 0:08. Too difficult to even want to watch.. Heartbreaking 😢

[@shirleycher4706]

This is really sad.

[@money3ss]

Poorer elders are usually more gullible

[@mandarapapa1895]

Oh ,singapore ... Like this how you treat your own parents ,what heartless are youuuuu ... Break my heart ,😭😭😭

[@kittychang332]

Not all are alike, my sister took care of my mother till the end.

[@valcrist7428]

I feel sorry for Mr. Tan. Someday when they all pass away.. how can they meet in the afterlife when his sons are avoiding him in the Earth because of money.. So sad...

[@Ting00Ting]

Sad that all the abuse are from their sons...the ones asian parents usually treat like kings.

[@crystal8537]

Maybe in china, in singapore not so much. In fact most singaporean men want daughters and pamper them to bits and pieces, while they r harsher to sons

[@necyv2887]

My heart is broken with such documentary. I myself have been the sole bread winner of my family but I can never betray other people for money let alone my parents. I rather work hard than let anyone suffers with my own problems. Karma is real their children will definitely suffer soon.

[@KM-vq6xc]

What the hell is happening to world.... So sad for elderlies... Super sad....

[@cancerjune2773]

Omg the DR son kicked his father out from the house who raise him up where you are today shame on you

[@luvhonest463]

This father also in the wrong. He mentioned it was ok if the son does not want to take care of him. Wrong upbringing.

[@crystal8537]

@@luvhonest463 nowadays more and more elderly dw to rely on their children or dw their children to take care of them maybe thats why more and more of such cases as in the video happens

[@kittychang332]

How about remarrying, where is the step mom staying? so you expect the son to take care of his step mother? For this case, its heart wrenching but your're talking about taking care of someone that is not your mother.

[@ebonyloveivory]

@@kittychang332 Wow this is vicious. He never said that he wanted to his son to look after his new wife. I am sure he just wanted the family to stay together, that's all. And yes, it is not easy. But afterwards when the father left, the son visited him only once? They're staying in a rental flat. The least you could do is to look in on your father from time to time.

[@lifepiece9551]

Make sure youre on good terms with your kids when theyre kids not materially but socially.

[@valcrist7428]

That's why don't make babies anymore. Chances are, if your children would have a bad life, you will be guilty not helping them.. because you bring them to this world. Remember, people have ambitions... I did not get money from my parents ever since I started working.. and if I borrow money, I gave it back with interest and on time. But I wished I could have given them more.. it's just that, I have things I wanted to have and not earning that much. I don't even have a family of my own. Now both of them have passed away.. nothing I can do to give them more.

[@besottedbelovedlovely2560]

It's not good to take Elderly life savings ..N not return back..c..

[@crystal8537]

Well some people very valuable to society (e.g. dr son) save & treat many patients everyday but do such things to their loved ones..... So if you say theyre useless they arent they only care abt money. Good to outsiders bad to their loved ones

[@abelsoo5465]

How's the upbringing of these financial abusers? Yeah, these FAs are assholes but the parents also have a hand in this. They were the ones who raised up such children.

[@acajudi100]

Report them to the police and put them out. No one can force you to give them money! Banks etc. Watch out for the handicapped and elderly. Do not keep much money, and limit daily withdrawals. They will reap what they have sown. Get out and volunteer, for God will punish our sons. Learn to say NO.

[@alfawolf7125]

IN THIS COUNTRY IF......SONS OR DAUGHTERS ABUSE THEIR ELDERLY ,WHO GOES TO POLICE STATION OR EVEN JAILED WILL BE THE OLDER ONES AND NOT THE SON./DAUGHTER..ETC

[@Reza.El-Fatih]

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.” (Quran 17:23)

[@ingenuity168]

If he wants to remarry, he should keep his own house and live there with his new wife; not stay with the son

[@crystal8537]

I was a lil confused. So did the elderly man have his own house? Or is it his son's house??

[@ingenuity168]

@@crystal8537 He sold his house to give money to his son to open a clinic, but the son bought ahouse instead and the father moved in with his son, but wanted to remarry. The son didn't like that and asked him to move out.

[@crystal8537]

@@ingenuity168 omg he shld NEVER have sold his house. A house under ur own name is literally one's lifeline thats what my mum alwaya tryna tell me. There are many kids out there who manipulate their parents to selling house but ended up chasing them from their own home :(

[@ingenuity168]

@@crystal8537 Exactly. I know someone in the same position. The son picked a fight with them and kicked them out. So never give up your house and your nest egg for children. Learn from other's mistakes.

[@crystal8537]

@@ingenuity168 agree! yep maybe those elderly didnt know but now we do know so we gotta make sure not to repeat them :) but i guess some parents are just so softhearted and overly pamper their kids. Anyways so pleasant talking to u

[@gurdevkaursandhu5323]

Parents are next to GOD.one good thing our goverment did is paying cpf monthly.with children like this parents suffer more.omg is very bad.

[@WUZETIAN93]

Fine debt recovery to collect back the cash from your Son the outstanding go fine Jms Rogers debt recovery they can help u mah

[@sootuckchoong7077]

All the while, I thought all Singaporeans are wonderful people. What a mistake.

[@crystal8537]

What funny fantasy thinking is that????????? Everywhere got bad people lol.

[@douglei4413]

Like everywhere else, They are wonderful people if you're rich. They'll be nice to you and smiles at you all the time...if you're have money.

[@crystal8537]

@@douglei4413 ikr! Then when u fall to thr lowest point, they all run far away from u. And when they nid sth, all suck up to the person

[@kittychang332]

@@douglei4413 Relatives are the same too, worship money, that is why I moved 11,000 miles away from these so called relatives. When my sister dies, I am going to give to the church who took care of her and not my relatives, They will not get a penny from me.

[@kuehsalak557]

gambling is one of the causes..

[@luvhonest463]

All these law orders are useless, just like a paper general. No point depending on law. As parents, especially chinese, dont be so stupid to keep working n earning money for your children's future. Learn from Malay, they dont hv such problem.

[@beetledune9264]

From my point of view,most chinese family especially the eldery,they keep working n save money for their children so that the children take care of them& will live with the children later on.As non chinese family ,my parents not stay with us & stay in their own house but it doesn't mean we neglect them,we gv money n necessity also visited them.i know some chinese parent who curse their son(no offend) just because they didnt want them stay together,even the son prepare all for them such as house,money,even bring go to travel.

[@luvhonest463]

@@beetledune9264 some chinese parents are too filial piety to their own children and dont really know how to train them. They have the wrong mentality to think that by treating their children well, they will in return take care of them when they get old. But they failed to amend the children's behaviour or train their mindset to take care of them. They even work harder than their children to earn money while their children laze around or only enjoying life themselves by going pub, have meals in restaurants with girlfriends instead of bringing their parents there. The malay treasures family time and also shows respect to elderly. They dont believe in slotting so hard for money just to save for their children, so the bondage within the family is stronger. But of cos, some of them put in too minimal effort to earn money and results in poverty and need to rely on social give outs. Both race need to strike a balance.

[@beetledune9264]

@@luvhonest463 some chinese parents say if their children dont want to lived with them,there will be bad luck for ur generation..is it true??i think if the person want to live separately with their parents it doesn't mean they will forget their parents.

[@crystal8537]

@@beetledune9264 i think nowadays young couples dont wanna live with parents but buy their own house. ((Chinese here)) and there is no such culture here. Its mere superstition which i am hearing for the first time

[@crystal8537]

@@luvhonest463 i actually asked my malay friends how they view this and they said it might be because chinese parents usually pressurised their children academically and try to control them vs malay households where the children are more "free" so alot of chinese children build up this resentment for their parents from young and abandon their parents in the future, like a revenge thing. Like how chinese culture is grades, face and money vs malay culture family and love.... This is not specific to the video but might be one of the reason...

[@Iworkwithnitwits]

If I was Susan I would have told his ass no. #1 She should not have to pay for his stupidity. #2 By paying off the loan sharks the first time it taught him nothing and he would have just got into trouble with the loan sharks again (which he did) because that is what fool do.

[@stevenwijaya184]

Suprisingly, these happen more in asian culture background.. controlling parent create unindependent children.

[@roxy6240]

The shameless and sense of entitlement of these sons/daughters. I stopped asking money from my parents the second I graduated from uni and got my first paycheck. I lived frugally and saved up then paid for all my mum's credit card outstanding balances and remaining mortgage.

[@ernilim19]

Save your money for your retirement and never let others know even your own children to prevent if they will ask for your money...

[@miz249whbbeo]

I wonder how Mr Tan's sons sleep at night..... :'(

[@crystal8537]

People like them... They must sleep very well

[@jasper5097]

@@crystal8537 they'll probably sleep well when they borrow money from ah longs.... They may not even wake up at all.

[@richardkoh2423]

At the end of the day you must have mental and emotional toughness regardless of relationships. Nobody is going to help you when you don't have money.

[@sq4767]

My family is the opposite , parents take me as ATM. Take all my money and cheat me they just keep it for me , but when I need money for wedding , they kick me out of home becos they do not want to pay me back . they will pretend pity and weak in front of outsiders and complain me unfilial to force me keep giving them money. I think I can wrote a book about their disgusting story.sometimes I really hope I am adopted.

[@michellelee4843]

The reason why some children shouldn't be had. This situation is real,children who grew into adult parasites living off their elderly parents.

[@jianfabentsai2438]

1. How you treat your parents, your children will learn and treat you the same. 2. Why not even after marriage stay and pay monthly rent to parents to save $1 million of mortgage interests and investment opportunity costs? Your parents can use the decades of rent money from you to pay to doctors and medical professionals as well as business owners who sell medical equipment thus the elite class still profits too. As a fellow sociopath, there will be less trauma and abuse in the middle class and the poverty class to create future young criminals to join our syndicates and we ain't like it. 3. Why not pay monthly salary and hire your children as aged care helper or nurse to take of you in your old age which will be a much better quality of care than "volunteers". Please feedback to management.

[@ej_l2525]

BIG SHAME TO ALL THESE GROWN UPS WHO LEFT THEIR PARENTS BEHIND. what you did to them,will go back to all of you,10x worse. It will be a generational curse.

[@crystal8537]

They dont believe in karma

[@lanu4319]

it's complicated in every household. Some parents put down their children, zero compliment, and criticize them even how they look what they do, and never teach them how to live life and find their ways. You know parents who keep saying you are ugly? You know parents who say daughters who are not married are strange? When parents are unhappy, they will just threaten to chase children out or cut off relationship. And when they are old, they expect their children to be an angel and look after them in return? Stories are two fold, don't use age as a sword to getting one's right. That's the bluntest sword ever.

[@Gabriel-ot7zr]

I m very sad for the elderly.

[@peterlhs18]

My regrets watching this video

[@beartapess277]

I hope and pray for all of us that our children will fulfilled their duties to take care of their families and not to forget us.But this must be taught at the very young ages. Father of four princess + 1 soon..

[@valcrist7428]

You bring 5 SOULS in this world!! Make sure you DON'T MAKE THEM SUFFER LIKE YOU DO.

[@ailinseah3190]

If got a house can rent it out for cash don't ever give up everything taking care of ourselves is not selfish act but we still have alot of old ppl enjoying life with good children

[@ailinseah3190]

Unless you die don't ever give everything to anyone including your children when you're old must have money and house don't laugh at us everywhere is the same must lea4n to take care of ourselves first

[@crystal8537]

Thats what my mum told me (i'm 21) she said important to have ur own house and save money. Dont give 100% of whatever u have to ur kids, can support their venture but not spoonfeed everything. Also dont ever sell house away thinking that u can live w ur kids bc if they wanna chase u they can bc the children house not under parents name

[@TinyCreatureHub]

will be worst by year by year bah. hope there should be more awareness on this matter.

[@gce1493]

In the Philippines they usually say have kids so someone will take care of you when you grow old. But lots of old people are considered automatic "nannies" and care givers to their grandchildren with little to no financial help from their own kids. They're not as strong as before but is expected to raise their grandchildren. 🙄😒😣

[@robertwee3882]

Damn screwed up.....

[@bernardwong5828]

Sad...

[@Iworkwithnitwits]

He should have gave his son a bus pass so he can go to work to earn that motorcycle.