And sometimes people cheat, don’t see anything wrong with it, don’t care that it hurts you and just keep doing it. Not everyone feels guilty and they are awful.
@alanataylor11068 ай бұрын
Yep
@coutureleotards8 ай бұрын
They don't think they are awful ❤😉
@jonathanvilleneuve57667 ай бұрын
Dealing with this at the moment and it almost broke me. Never thought this person would cheat on me after 2.5 years. Could have just broken off the relationship and go get fucked by the same guy but nope... Tell me she loves me and ghosts me the same day, only to find out a week later she's already fucking a sugar daddy.
@Christinebord6 ай бұрын
@@coutureleotards they should. Someone who's not able to respect others, is not able to respect himself, and has no to be respected by anyone. Pretty sad, actually.
@MarkSummers-g2n3 ай бұрын
Thank God for Creating Hell
@joek11688 ай бұрын
Once someone cheats the bond of trust is broken forever and a relationship cannot exist without trust. If you take the cheater back they will know they got away with it once, they can get away with it again. They will never fully respect you. Cheating is choice as well, never a mistake. Its many choices actually, that were intentionally made that lead to the physical act. Why give your heart to someone like that?
@Me-Me963 ай бұрын
It is a choice but there are some people who don’t cheat again and they straighten up there act
@JoshuaCapin963 ай бұрын
But the trust has already been broken.
@Me-Me963 ай бұрын
@@JoshuaCapin96 true. That’s why as the cheater you offer to go to therapy or give access to your location
@susanparkes50963 ай бұрын
Anyone who cheats on me has just proven themselves morally incompatible with me and therefore unsuitable as a partner. One strike and you're out - something i learnt the hard way, and the way is still hard.
@Johnsmith4092 ай бұрын
I disagree completely
@mpfree78 ай бұрын
Oh c'mon, no matter what somebody tells me about themselves in the begining, whether it's good or bad, it doesn't mean much, because I will have to find out who they are by myself anyway. And the only way to do that is through experiencing their actions. You always have to take some risk when getting to know someone new. So I'm not sure if I need from them a list of all the bad things they've done in the past and a written guarantee they won't do them again. In the end what matters most is how they really act today. Because someone might tell me they are great and never cheat and it might simply be a lie. So, there are no guaratees with anyone. You can't control everything, there is always some risk factor.
@marcusmagnificus19842 ай бұрын
Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. Watch your character, for it can become your destiny.
@Daddy2025HQ8 ай бұрын
Just came out of a toxic relationship I think best for me just stay single and be free
@alitez9608 ай бұрын
Give yourself time to heal,trust me,ÿou will meet the right one
@MarkSummers-g2n3 ай бұрын
Everybody should be free and single and eliminate marriage so the Village can raise children
@2171april3 ай бұрын
Right off the bat the man I started dating told me that his first marriage ended because he had had an affair & that he deeply regretted it & would never do that again because it caused so much heartache & damage to everyone involved. I was stupid enough to believe him and went on to marry him just for him to cheat on me like he did his first wife. So if anyone ever tells you their relationship or marriage ended because they cheated my advice is RUN! Do not believe that they will not do it again. They are liars!
@deniseodendaal58242 ай бұрын
Exactly ! They will tell you upfront, what will happen to you in the future. My ex partner cheated on their GF in the past, then cheated on me twice. I should have run early on when he told me what his patterns were early on. It’s a pattern of behaviour, if they do it once it will happen again
@kacibong142 ай бұрын
Me too😢 i thought repentance was the key but no it’s a pattern.
@MarkSummers-g2n2 ай бұрын
@@kacibong14 Only when they lose a body part the cheating stops
@pixie3458Ай бұрын
Generally they regret being caught and having to make a choice.
@nataliergauci26 күн бұрын
Amen. 🎉
@tapiwa_mavende2 ай бұрын
When someone lies in general they have not only broken the trust but they've stolen from you. They've stolen the chance for you to make an informed decision.
@dominiquegordon88139 күн бұрын
Exactly
@dominiquegordon88139 күн бұрын
Exactly
@TRUEJACK778 ай бұрын
Cheating and being open about and accepting it was wrong upfront is how you build trust but cheating and hiding it instantly we are done.
@Omara_the_femb2 ай бұрын
EXACTLY. the worst part it's that I felt bad when she cheated on me and she had so low empathy that she literally didn't care "yeah I used you so now I'm not even gonna listen to you, I have another one so why caring"
@MarkSummers-g2n2 ай бұрын
You build trust on cheating on a cheater
@Omara_the_femb2 ай бұрын
@@MarkSummers-g2n you can't forgive a cheater
@TRUEJACK772 ай бұрын
@@Omara_the_femb one the whole it’s just better to tell them to pack their shit and move on,
@Omara_the_femb2 ай бұрын
@@TRUEJACK77 she did but I can't she had many exes so she probably knows how to. but I can't the memories are so precious to me. I almost got to being 1 year together with her. Now the "anniversary passed" and noone of us cared.I just. Its not my fault but I feel bad because I loved her
@alicjaalvena11208 ай бұрын
no, people dont learn through mistakes only. i dont need to cheat to know i dont want to cheat. some past mistakes are unforgivable in my eyes and i have every right to be entitled to my standards.
@dtuitt798 ай бұрын
Just because you trust someone, doesn't mean you should. Just because you don't trust someone, doesn't mean you shouldn't.
@lesliebean45948 ай бұрын
Story of my life lol
@luna84_8 ай бұрын
Bruh 😅😂
@ViperPain1412 ай бұрын
This motto would cause self mistrust to ones person and would fester into a trust problem that will affect your relationship. I don’t buy it
@dtuitt792 ай бұрын
@@ViperPain141 It's not a motto, it's a fact. No one is absolutely trustworthy or untrustworthy. Hindsight is 20/20. We have all put our trust in people, to find out that we shouldn't have. & some of us have come to trust people that we didn't think we could & didn't regret it. Personally, when it comes to romantic relationships, I trust women as long as they value the relationship. How can you tell if they value the relationship? Nothing is 100%, but I look at the boundaries & staples (for lack of a better word) that they put into place to protect the relationship. We all know that if someone doesn't value something they won't take care of it. It's the same with relationships.
@ViperPain1412 ай бұрын
@@dtuitt79 While it's true that trust is complex and situational, saying that no one is absolutely trustworthy or untrustworthy can be overly cynical and might dismiss the importance of consistent behavior and character. Trust is often built over time through repeated actions that demonstrate reliability and integrity. In romantic relationships, relying solely on whether someone "values" the relationship might be subjective and open to misinterpretation. People's actions can be influenced by various factors, and even someone who values a relationship can make mistakes or act out of character under stress. Furthermore, boundaries and efforts to protect a relationship are crucial, but they are just one aspect of trust. Communication, empathy, and mutual respect also play significant roles. Overemphasizing the protective measures might lead to a relationship that feels more like a guarded contract than a genuine partnership. Ultimately, while hindsight is indeed 20/20, fostering trust requires a balance of reasonable expectations, open communication, and a willingness to understand and forgive imperfections.
@amygaita57784 ай бұрын
I have been married for 32 years and was betrayed thirteen years ago by my husband. He denied. I stayed and focused on work and our children but lost myself. Now youngest is a senior and I'm struggling. We're starting counseling. I don't know who I am
@judyoliver3672Ай бұрын
Been there.
@JL-lh8kl28 күн бұрын
My wife cheated on me 20 years ago. She was caught out. Don't think she would have confessed. I loved my 4 year old daughter so much at the time that I decided to stay and try and make it work. Today I know that was a big mistake. You can never trust a cheater again even if they never cheat again - that's how bad it is. The character flaw allowing someone to cheat manifests in many other ways as well which reminds you of the cheating. 20 years of a really unhappy marriage and the effects on our children just because you wanted to cheat. It's not worth it. Why did I even get married is the question I keep asking myself......
@dontfreakoutwerejustclowns70238 ай бұрын
I keep hearing « Once a cheetah, always a cheetah » 🐆😄
@clairexxx04058 ай бұрын
I'm in a terrible mess with someone making me feel very unsafe in there actions after over two years .... Thank you for this video you've both given me alot to think about 🕊
@taraz67868 ай бұрын
Genuine question. Why are you still with them if they make you feel unsafe? 🤔
@ekayaniperforms8 ай бұрын
@@taraz6786sometimes domestic violence is an element.
@taraz67868 ай бұрын
@@ekayaniperforms Oh god, just another reason to stay away from men. I honestly don’t know how women stay hopeful and look for male partners when they are so scary to be around, especially for long periods of time. 🤦♀️
@noouhh14208 ай бұрын
@@ekayaniperformsjumping to conclusions about why someone feels unsafe is extremely immature.
@yaelli43788 ай бұрын
I really love the comments that Audrey makes. They are very specific and particular to so many times people were in these situation she's describing. As a woman I can easily relate to these strains of thought.
@angelabloom8 ай бұрын
I love his wife in it. It gives a women’s perspective. The interactions between them is a compelling dynamic I thoroughly enjoy. ❤ nicely done Audrey and Matt carry on!
@the1stmetalhead8 ай бұрын
Has anyone ever told you look like Alyssa White Gluz.
@allenmciver18888 ай бұрын
If someone tells you who they are, believe them. If you lie to yourself, don't blame him. Blame you.
@lesliebean45948 ай бұрын
“Believe them the first time”.
@the1stmetalhead8 ай бұрын
Reminds me of the J Cole song. Fool me one time shame on you. Fool me twice can’t put the blame on you. Fool me three times f**k the peace signs load the chopper let it rain on you.
@pekkalaitinen876916 сағат бұрын
To people who currently go through the shock phase of breakup, I'm with you. Going through it myself for the second time. Understand intellectually that the person you mourn for does not exist, never did. You are sad because of the image of this person and the fictional imagined future of you two. You are not sad for losing what she actually was/is. That person you though she was never existed, she was not what you thought she was, but something else instead. Understand this and even though it hurts now, also understand the hurt WILL go away with time. Time is your friend. I've been through one TOUGH breakup from a 8 year relationship and currently going through another one from a year long relationship. Got cheated in both. Life sucks and then you die, but also gotta remember that when you do good things, universe tends to reward you with good things. Act in a way where you can have clear conscience after breakup, do the inner work and rise from the ashes. Don't become bitter, become better. And if you are a woman cheated by a man, just replace "she" with "he" in my post.
@divinelorraineАй бұрын
I used to be a cheater. I had a spiritual awakening & fully repented. It was soul wrenching to look in the mirror & reflect on the pain I had caused. People can change, but they really have to have a profound coming to God moment to see the light & do the work. ❤
@Adiscretefirm23 күн бұрын
The repented fall back all the time
@Sunset_Princess0814 күн бұрын
You don’t need God to repent as a cheater
@ghostbuff793 ай бұрын
My ex had a year long affair and was actively trying to get her pregnant because I can’t have kids. I found out the weekend of my bachelorette, 2 months before my wedding. His mistress messaged me after he tried to end things with her. His response was he wanted to be with me but he had realized he wants kids so he has to pursue that. Like he couldn’t have thought of that in the last 6 years!
@georgecatterton3514Ай бұрын
I'm a male but just went through this almost exact same situation with my fiancé. However, I should be able to have children. Just now, I'm not sure if it's mine and the wedding is off.
@ghostbuff79Ай бұрын
@@georgecatterton3514 I’m sorry. People are horrible. Hope you find someone who values you.
@us5freaak8 ай бұрын
I want to know on the first date if you’re a cheater so I don’t have to waste my time
@pixie345820 күн бұрын
@@us5freaak very good advice. I wasted my time with an ex cheater.. It really reflected his self centredness that he demonstrated in so many other ways. He was impotent by this stage, which probably curbed the cheating, at least physically. However he saw nothing wrong with maintaining communication with any exes who hadn't cut him off!
@MisterDeathly2 ай бұрын
I just want to give a piece of advice that I thought would really help someone. This is my experience. If you tell the person you love to not do this one thing,and they do it anyways, and this breaks you. Please don't convince yourself to still love them. Please just walk away. You see, I asked for something simple to get my trust all I asked was to not be kept in a box in my own relationship. To simple tell your own family how much I'm important to you. She didn't do it. This broke my trust, and I still chose to love her. Long story short, she cheated on me. It's been about 2 years later. I'm over it,but I still hate myself for allowing myself to love someone who never deserved my love to begin with. So once trust is broke, walk away. For yourself, cause that's more important.
@palapalak.89078 ай бұрын
What's done in the dark will come into the light. People think they are slick but technology always seems to bust these cheaters. I love it! I am FREE! And it feels great! When u text someone, u never know who is reading the text. Especially if it pops up in the car . It happenned to me. Unbelievable! RUN if it happens to you.
@barbara68406 ай бұрын
Let's face it. One a cheater IS ALWAYS a cheater. A cheater has a major human character flaw. This person has no integrity and quite selfish. Have you ever asked a cheater if they would like to build a relationship with another cheater? You'll be amazed by their answer. Stay away from cheaters and never go back to a cheater. You are worthy of the same unadulterated love you can give. I have no respect for cheaters.
@yoshinoaki66142 ай бұрын
@barbara6840I respect your hate on on first time. cheater like me.. . As first time cheater.. yes I do feel anything wrong admit my mistake and wrong doings.... I don't had rights to defend but important I go confession to god and priest atone my sins... Now last night my heart got heartache mini attack I feel god punish me Abit and gave me something lifetime.. mission to win my girlfriend heart again and promising never cheat again... Since I promise to god ... That promise will be unbreakable.... Some cheaters are always cheaters but not all first time cheaters who are true honest person... Will Never do that again... God gave me life time task re-new my life I am sharing this open honesty, transparency from this comment... Believe or not.. I am an honest person.. will do everything in my power to work everything to court the person woman I loved most.. and forever loving her... Never cheated again....
@pixie345820 күн бұрын
@@barbara6840 that's a very good question. My ex had been cheated on and he had long term affairs when he was married. He got really angry when he thought about it being done to him!
@dominiquegordon88139 күн бұрын
None zero respect
@al50687 ай бұрын
One thing I can tell is Matthew and Audrey have such great chemistry. ❤️ he is so in love with her it’s adorable 🥰
@kellylody79284 ай бұрын
I think the reasons we « cheat » are so complex - I think sometimes people have been faithful for decades and then cheat due to many many reasons - Im not saying it’s ok - but I don’t think every person of whom cheats is a bad person - There is often a multifaceted reason
@jeanandersonlscsw25508 ай бұрын
Love this have seen the cycle repeated over and over . Check out the man’s background like I didn’t and learned .
@johnrichards36663 ай бұрын
If you're in what you think is a monogamous relationship and the other person cheats, you only have the choice of staying or leaving. If you can put up with living with a cheater, stay. If not, leave without looking back. The person who cheated will always cheat and they will leave you high and dry when they find a better "mark." Don't be a fool.
@delynm8 ай бұрын
19:40 This part is beautiful. Unfortunately it’s the situation I am in now after my last, but the reassurance is graceful.
@MarkusKayl_2 ай бұрын
i cheated one time and was so shocked of myself and the hurt I caused to my partner and the relationship that I would NEVER ever do it again.
@yoshinoaki66142 ай бұрын
@MarkusKayl_ I envy you manage to reach your partner.... As first time cheater.. yes I do feel anything wrong admit my mistake and wrong doings.... I don't had rights to defend but important I go confession to god and priest atone my sins... Now last night my heart got heartache mini attack I feel god punish me Abit and gave me something lifetime.. mission to win my girlfriend heart again and promising never cheat again... Since I promise to god ... That promise will be unbreakable.... Some cheaters are always cheaters but not all first time cheaters who are true honest person... Will do that again... God gave me life time task re-new my life I am sharing this open honesty, transparency from this comment... Believe or not.. I am an honest person.. will do everything in my power to work everything to court the person woman I loved most.. and forever loving her... Never cheated again....
@yoshinoaki66142 ай бұрын
Same here brother... I WILL NEVER DO CHEAT AGAIN.,. NEVER AGAIN TILL END OF MY LIFE...
@yoshinoaki66142 ай бұрын
As first time cheater.. yes I do feel anything wrong admit my mistake and wrong doings.... I don't had rights to defend but important I go confession to god and priest atone my sins... Now last night my heart got heartache mini attack I feel god punish me Abit and gave me something lifetime.. mission to win my girlfriend heart again and promising never cheat again... Since I promise to god ... That promise will be unbreakable.... Some cheaters are always cheaters but not all first time cheaters who are true honest person... Will do that again... God gave me life time task re-new my life I am sharing this open honesty, transparency from this comment... Believe or not.. I am an honest person.. will do everything in my power to work everything to court the person woman I loved most.. and forever loving her... Never cheated again....
@luciehawaii3 ай бұрын
Cheating is not a mistake, it is decision 😊
@yoshinoaki66142 ай бұрын
It is not a decision but curiousity I loss on curiosity... Now I learned and experience the true definition of cheating/cheater it was disgusting... I will never forgive myself.... But important I am honest person I confess to god and priest.. I must work hard on myself, I WILL NEVER CHEAT AGAIN.... NEVER I PROMISE TO GOD
@_Valene_2 ай бұрын
I agree, a mistake is adding to much salt to your marinade. Cheating is choice people make . People only change if they want to. Left a relationship with someone that kept doing it every month and I caught him every time. Once a cheater always a cheater. You can say whatever you want to them, use what ever tactics, they go to therapy, it doesn't matter if they don't want to stop doing it.
@MarkSummers-g2n26 күн бұрын
@@_Valene_ A penis doesn't enter a vagina by accident
@reversedboob696814 күн бұрын
It can be both. Ever made a terrible choice and regretted it heavily afterwards?
@nataliergauci26 күн бұрын
Why wouldnt it be appropriate to ask why theyre relationship ended? Better know early on than later ... everything is personal it depends on whether someone feels comfortable enough to share... it depends on the person on the date. If someone has done the work on themselves then they wouldnt feel so bad about to speak about it. It could be that both people on their first date both cheated on their partners...
@barbara68405 ай бұрын
When you are over 50 it is a perfectly good time to ask why someone's relationship ended on a phone vetting conversation before even going on a date. Sorry, you are just wasting people's time at this age if you can't be upfront from the very beginning.
@NoPisces8 ай бұрын
Yes. Once a cheater always a cheater ~ cuz they cheated ~ even if only once. It’s not just about trust. It’s about their willingness to hurt you.
@mariahhelm54888 ай бұрын
Love this. It's very complicated to be human. But it's also really hard to trust people sometimes. Guys get real savvy these days. I do wish more people would talk more about being "the other woman" though. It's happened to me before and I honest to God had no idea. I've made the mistake to trust freely to whoever. It took atleast two years to work through the shame and guilt of playing a part of a situation like that.
@Christinebord7 ай бұрын
Sorry, but confidence is, for me, the POINT in relationship. When once broken, felling guilty or not, sorry or not afterwards, there is no future for this relationship for me, I'll never feel safe in it anymore and I leave and move on out of it.
@Joy-mm3cz8 ай бұрын
As someone who is midlife (51) I had many conversations prior to meeting up for a first date. I didn’t want to waste in person time if I didn’t feel like we were both on the same page for major things (like politics, religion or views on cheating in a relationship). I knew that everyone I was meeting in public never cheated in their relationships. I didn’t give details of why my marriage ended after 25 yrs but took ownership for the lack of communication and growth. I also told them all of the work that o had done for the past 3 yrs to make sure I didn’t repeat old habits.
@Alixir12288 ай бұрын
I learned the hard way these men will lie about not cheating.
@npkrn67645 ай бұрын
@@Alixir1228People (men and women) will most likely lie about something like that. I've not been married, but did date a separated man once years ago. At the time, in my 20s, he hadnt seen his wife in 3+ years, they just hadn't formally, legally divorced yet. We had mutual friends from high school so I knew all this to be true. He was in the military and his wife cheated on him and admitted it; hence the separation. But I guess the point about people lying or withholding it from new people, I'm not sure it's anyone's business. It's definitely an ethical debatable question, isn't it? How much IS anything in someone's past a new person's business?? 🤔
@logistico213 ай бұрын
@@Alixir1228I learned the hard way, it’s not only men that cheat.
@MarkSummers-g2n2 ай бұрын
I'm over 50 and never been on a date ! I thought God hated me for having bad looks but instead God has kept me from getting involved with toxic people
@MarkSummers-g2n26 күн бұрын
What Habits were they
@johnnydi22315 ай бұрын
Can I just take a chance and ask everyone here.... Just HOW do you do it?! As in, when someone you really loved/trusted, and were with for a long time, has just left and ripped your heart out... And you have an obsessive mind, naturally. Where you have a difficult time controlling your thoughts, any way. HOW do you stop thinking about it every second, or feeling like you're physically bleeding inside, or stop replaying every second of every event and every word and every action of it all.... Or worrying about why they don't seem to even care, in spite of the fact that we both put our time, effort and affection into this thing for such a long time... I just don't know how to stop? I feel like I cannot control my own mind or my body's responses to it. And it's simply becoming too much to bear or handle. So I figured I'd just ask. Even knowing I may get a negative response for this. Thanks.
@versachi1873 ай бұрын
Dude, I feel you. Trust me when I say that most of the time it has nothing to do with you in regards to cheating. I had to come to terms with the fact it was just her character. Taking into account all her actions and how she moved in the world added up to an attention seeker that needed continuous external validation. Not sure what your specific situation entails or if it even pertains to cheating, but it sounds like you were willing to do what it takes to make it work. Remember it takes two people who are willing to accept responsibility for their part in making a relationship work. You deserve someone who’s going to show up for you even when things get rocky. Keep your head up man and just focus on making yourself a better version of you so when that next relationship blooms you’ll be able to give/receive a higher love😊
@pekkalaitinen876916 сағат бұрын
Understand intellectually that the person you mourn for does not exist, never did. You are sad because of the image of this person and the fictional imagined future of you two. You are not sad for losing what she actually was/is. That person you though she was never existed, she was not what you thought she was, but something else instead. Understand this and even though it hurts now, also understand the hurt WILL go away with time. Time is your friend. I've been through one TOUGH breakup from a 8 year relationship and currently going through another one from a year long relationship. Got cheated in both. Life sucks and then you die, but also gotta remember that when you do good things, universe tends to reward you with good things. Act in a way where you can have clear conscience after breakup, do the inner work and rise from the ashes. Don't become bitter, become better.
@mmm24ist8 ай бұрын
7:04 Wow. that's strong. I guess that's why my ex-wife for months refused to talk about her not being loyal to me - as it turned out later she was not willing to stop pursuing that other guy, she was blaming me to not trusting her, and refused to talk about it, few months later I've discovered she hadn't stop.
@evgeniiakovalskaya65088 ай бұрын
This is so common - to blame you in not trusting, when they cheat...
@amc39644 ай бұрын
If someone cheats once, there is a 350 per cent chance of them doing it again. In the stats.
@eyeqgadgets7 ай бұрын
I lost my four years of my life trying to trust that person i really love, but reality was faded in my head because of my love. I made mistake trusting the person and gets cheated again and again, its Feb 2024 and I'm now at the level where is was in jun 2020.
@truechamp34043 ай бұрын
Tell me more about it... i am so lost
@marymartin68968 ай бұрын
If I can not trust them, I am out. Thx
@dschefers9700Ай бұрын
Cheating for a person is very close to a drug addiction. You can never trust that they will not relapse. It takes time for any cheater to prove they have changed.
@boogiman604 ай бұрын
First hand experience they will always cheat again over and over don't fall for the lies that they won't ever do it again and they love only you hahaha
@abhinavkumar33988 ай бұрын
Ones a cheater is not always a cheater, few people work hard on her/himself, people evolves, know about boundries, realises and commit their mistakes and promise with them to not repeat again next time, relationship dynamics, how to be in a wonderful relationship then only they can't cheat.
@the1stmetalhead8 ай бұрын
It is possible but the number of people who are like that are very rare. Almost negligible. Majority men and women who cheat or have cheated in the past with their exes will do it again with you as well.
@us5freaak8 ай бұрын
They are not capable of evolving
@jayromuelnacino33586 ай бұрын
Yes its possible, a one in 100 cheaters.
@CTembo5 ай бұрын
@@the1stmetalheadthat why you don’t take people who have cheated - however long in the past seriously. I don’t care what anyone says. I have always and will always punish the behaviour eventually
@legalfictionnaturalfact39695 ай бұрын
They're welcome to try again, but not with us! Because we are above that. :-)
@Phoenix64902Ай бұрын
If a person cheats in spite of being in a seemingly good relationship and they continue to lie to that person behind their back and once found out they know they have hurt feelings but go on to do it again another time… then that person hasn’t learnt any lessons because they have no respect and feel they are justified to do what they like and when they like. Liars are mainly out for their own selfish needs. Run for the hills, they ain’t changing for no one! Save yourself from mental health.
@doreen3763Ай бұрын
My son died by suicide 2021, my husband of 43 years had affair 2011.. and now again 2023.. because I am too sad from losing my son.
@captainfrosty31Ай бұрын
You deserve better ❤ I pray you find the strength to believe it for yourself someday.
@jeanandersonlscsw25508 ай бұрын
I have a different view and experience. When they tell you right away they can also be covering their tracks bc you may find out from someone else . My personal experience. They then have the same patterns . It happens again many times . Unfortunately. Acting like Mr Honest upfront is also a red flag
@felixtedeku208120 күн бұрын
One thing about cheaters is they're always not comfortable inside no matter how they pretend to be cause is like always trying to hide something inside. They know your a good person with good intentions and they know you don't deserve what they doing to you even though you don't know nothing about what they doing, so that guilty always hunt them inside
@br89798 ай бұрын
Audrey Hussey? Did I miss the wedding? 😮 Congratulations 🎉🥂
@sun_rose1238 ай бұрын
I'm going to say something completely unrelated to the topic you're talking about, and maybe it's unpopular to say, but what I'm going to say is coming from a good place 🙏 Matthew I've noticed lately on your pics on socials and newer videos as this that you're forehead and eyebrows are looking different from before. I don't know if you have started using botox or not, but I really like your natural before-look and expressions 🙏❤
@Bamgeutcutiepie8 ай бұрын
Not really your business
@lenkiewiczlover72568 ай бұрын
You look good and have had sort of makeover but is it it the influence of living in the states? Ps you looked just as you’d before
@user-qb4eb8vq5u2 ай бұрын
What a strange thing to say
@Mila-Believer-wife-mamaof3-RN5 ай бұрын
The right person is good for your healing….that’s what he states at the end. That’s pretty much implying someone who is meant for me will heal me. I’m sorry but I completely disagree. If you are broken and you need to heal, you shouldn’t be out there looking for the right person to heal you. You should focus on yourself, heal then once you’ve healed go get into a relationship.
@tubemankiwi24 күн бұрын
Unfortunately it is much harder to heal yourself in relation to others when not with others. The best person is someone who grows with you and that is supporting and caring for your growth.
@_venus_d1v1ne_ch1ld_8 ай бұрын
My boyfriend cheated and says he still loves me, wants to be with me, get married, and have kids in the future and hates himself. He always says he loves me but will never forgive himself for what he did. It hurts me more than ever. What he did hurt but the thought of losing the man I love forever and that he's destroying himself hurts more than anything I can ever imagine. My heart hurts and i always feel a sharp pain in my chest unlike a panic attack which hurts my sternum. He loves me but needs time. I miss him dearly and I don't want him to cheat again or hurt/hate himself and just love eachother and rebuild that trust and bond we have. We have chemistry and the love and energy is all there. He just hates himself and i just want us to love eachother. He can't look at me and hates himself.
@angeldust_45183 ай бұрын
he can use therapy, but also open communication helps a lot. wish the best for you 2.
@anthonypalafox20623 ай бұрын
better to cut your losses now than later when your married and tied down with kids. He will do it again and you will wonder years later why you wasted your time with someone like this.
@angeldust_45183 ай бұрын
@@anthonypalafox2062 you are basically saying that people can't change,i assume that's your story and that's why you think everyone else must have the same outcome.
@anthonypalafox20623 ай бұрын
@@angeldust_4518 no they can change slowly but if they don't face consequences for their actions they are way less likely. Why do you think a lot people don't have a huge change until they hit rock bottom because everyone enables them on the way down.
@Ingrafre8 ай бұрын
Great that you, Audrey, have gotten such an equivalent place now. Audrey is wise and incorruptibly judicial. I felt in the last years she was a bit degraded by Matt as a beautiful listener. But you don't have to fear her talent, Matt; she is complimentary to your trades.
@PJHEATERMAN2 ай бұрын
I can only assume my wife only cheated once. She begged for forgiveness and i gave her home and family back. Did she realize what she almost lost? I have no idea.
@heather33583 ай бұрын
I don’t agree with asking about their divorce is not for a first date. If someone has the strong values around not cheating on someone, why waste time if it is something you would run away from later anyway no matter what they said was their reason for cheating.
@cristinaab9558 ай бұрын
The most insightful thing I’ve ever heard when it comes to this topic
@Magnus_Kitty8 ай бұрын
Sick and tired of people defending cheaters, like they are the victims?? BS. Even if they never cheat again, these types of people cannot self validate or emotionally regulate themselves; not the type of person good for a relationship anyways.
@yoshinoaki66142 ай бұрын
@Magnus_Kitty some cheaters always be cheater... But not all cheaters those who are having integrity.. As first time cheater.. yes I do feel anything wrong admit my mistake and wrong doings.... I don't had rights to defend but important I go confession to god and priest atone my sins... Now last night my heart got heartache mini attack I feel god punish me Abit and gave me something lifetime.. mission to win my girlfriend heart again and promising never cheat again... Since I promise to god ... That promise will be unbreakable.... Some cheaters are always cheaters but not all first time cheaters who are true honest person... Will NEVER do that again... God gave me lifetime mission task re-new my life I am sharing this open honesty, transparency from this comment... Believe or not.. I am an honest person.. will do everything in my power to work everything to courtship the person woman I loved most.. and forever loving her... Never cheated again....
@xTenshiAi22 күн бұрын
From my experience, once a cheater always a cheater. They believe that you will take them back no matter what and they can walk all over you.
@katieelow88922 ай бұрын
My girlfriend of 6 years cheated on me and it destroyed me like nothing else i had ever experienced. It was the same pain as when my cousin was killed in a car accident when i was a boy. I had not felt pain like this for 25 years. She told me "i made a mistake" i didnt reply. SHE MADE A CHOICE NOT A MISTAKE !
@thepineyappleАй бұрын
I don’t know. My dad cheated on my mom and as upset as I was at him when I grew up I saw things differently. He literally married the woman he cheated on my mom with and she makes him happier than my mom ever could and she’ll even say so. In fact she’s very good friends with his wife now. They’ve even gone on vacations together with her partner and they spend holidays together. Sometimes it works out for the better for everyone.
@estherweekes75718 ай бұрын
Thank you! ❤ What a gem of an insight regarding whose responsability it is to make you feel safe. It's not your responsibility to make yourself trust the person who deceived you. It's their job. Bless you both! ❤
@alitez9608 ай бұрын
Someone who cheats will always cheat,they don't see what theyve done is wrong, these people are toxic
@Omara_the_femb2 ай бұрын
fr
@alitez9602 ай бұрын
@@Omara_the_femb !!!!!!!
@isabelc.m95938 ай бұрын
YES to this video. I was with someone who aggravated me, he's not a bad person, but he wasn't on the road to healing his demons/struggles and it aggravated me BIG time. Not the right person for me.
@NathanGraberАй бұрын
if somebody does something, acts a certain way, communicates a certain way.. and you have encountered them a couple times.... you PROBABLY know what they're going to be like. Of course there are intelligent liars who pose... but those people are lazy and can never hold out for too long. All you have to do if you're the guy... sometimes it can be rough to try and find out what HER character is like since we're always the once facing tests and overcoming her ghosts, expected to chase... and we like it so I'm not complaining im just saying I've found its hard sometimes to get a good feel of who she is sometimes when we are personally under so much fire at the beginning of a relationship... im telling you all you have to do is spend time with her as much as you can, and WATCH HOW SHE TREATS RANDOM PEOPLE. how does she talk about strangers when ur driving on the interstate? How does she talk about the other people out in public that you're around? If you get a chance to see how she talks about the people in her life that are close family...... if she has younger siblings... does she see them as competitors, or is she supportive? Does she resent her parents for their shortcomings, or is loving and respectful towards them? Here's the thing i found with her is even if she hates her siblings, hates her family, and doesnt get along with some of her old friends, or even if she has GOOD REASONS TO HATE THOSE PEOPLE... the way she talks about PEOPLE matters, because it will reveal how she will feel about what she wants out of a relationship, how she will treat you, and how she feels about family and intimacy SUPER ACCURATELY if you pay enough attention and give it enough time. If the only people she is nice to are you at the beginning, and the people who set up her weekend fun then you're in for a world of hurt, it aint complicated
@trishajohnson46928 ай бұрын
Well my ex was a bad person. He lied, he cheated, he physically hurt me-and he felt no guilt whatsoever. And thats what he did in his previous relationships, and guess what? He lied to me that he did. He said it was good relationships before.
@joeburdett84308 ай бұрын
7mins in is gold!
@Cerenduil8 ай бұрын
That's why is so important to lecture and to warn young women, nowadays so many young girls are kicking in the 'Tinder experience' and, overall, the 'hook up culture' and then they feel the need to cheat in stable relationships later on because the dopamine hit consquences are always there, plus, since they have it way easier than men to have ONS, to cheat is becoming more common in them, again; specifically in young people.
@evgeniiakovalskaya65088 ай бұрын
He tried to cheat once, 3 years after we got married (our daughter was 6 months old and I was so lonely and exhausted by the motherhood), was caught. I forgave him... And nearly 2 years later he actually cheated on me. I forgave. But there were no trust at all from that moment, something got broken in me and I wasn't happy... And now we broke up, after 10 years of marriage, when he was caught in the texting again. 1 month after I feel like I'm just awake, trying to figure out what I want and what I like. I shouldn't forgive him and we had to divorce 7 years ago. Unfortunately now my daughter is absolutely traumatized by our broke up - her dad doesn't have any interest in her since the day he left. I think if we got divorce when she was a baby it would be better because she wouldn't be so attached to her father. 😢
@angeldust_45183 ай бұрын
it is sad to see people throwing away such a blessing to be forgiven, when a person does it more than 1 time they don't deserve it. you are an angel, I'm sure you will find absolute happiness in the path.
@catdreaminginthesun69012 ай бұрын
I hope young people read this and learn.
@crimsonwhispersva24988 ай бұрын
I found out that my ex I broke up with Last year and was with for a year and 7 months cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship, I have no proof he cheated more than that but I feel he did....last October we reconnected and tried to work through the issues we had during our relationship which was working in better communication, boundaries and more..... but when I found this out I have not talked to him since his apologised allot and has asked can we talk in June and he works on getting my trust back. I still love him a lot but I am scared he will do that again it scares me and makes me feel like I have been used..... he says to me that I am the love of his life but my brain says how am I if u could do this to me.
@DustinAD2 ай бұрын
I’m late but I could offer you advice from my experience
@crimsonwhispersva24982 ай бұрын
@@DustinAD hun I take the advice if u want to share
@felixtedeku208120 күн бұрын
You have to be careful even though you love him, take your time to steady him carefully before you make any moves. Don't get carried away by words. To build trust it will take years and he will have to put in extra effort to show he won't cheat again such as stop hiding things and keeping secrets, and allowing you to go through his phone whenever you want to, ane tell you wherever he goes and if he have to share his location, yes he have to.
@sa34w8 ай бұрын
Cheating is a choice , but post that the questions you need to ask them is why they did it, what did they feel
@sophiallhm44008 ай бұрын
What happened to your eyebrows 😅
@daver13516 ай бұрын
How do you prove that you have "done the work" to rebound from cheating? I guess just accept what you did and be upfront about it, and if someone rejects you for that reason, you accept it because you love yourself. Probably the best way to prove that you have recovered. "I really like you, but if this is a dealbreaker for you, I can move on"
@Arvingencom3 ай бұрын
'The Point is to find someone, in a relationship, who is good at handling you' 😍
@Straightastheycome3 ай бұрын
As adults we need to learn to handle ourselves better. Infidelity is something like a law of marriage wherein it's punishable by divorce.
@MarkSummers-g2n3 ай бұрын
The only way it will work is there has to be revenge sex and infront of the cheater because they need a visual of how they are
@sharonmargaretstewart83415 ай бұрын
Great podcast with your beautiful wife Audrey Matthew, have a wonderful day, bless yous 🦋🌸💫💫💫💫👏👏👏🍀
@Adiscretefirm23 күн бұрын
You know they are willing (or even eager) to cheat in general, but more importantly you know they are willing (or eager) to lie TO YOU, do you think you are so special that they will treat you better than they treated their other SO? They've already showed the ability to lie to you and get away with it. Really disappointing to hear the pros using the minimizing "mistake" language, they made a decision, they didn't mistakenly believe the person they were sleeping with was their SO
@joannadziokan32678 ай бұрын
Everyone gets cheated on. You need to trust yourself that you'll make the right decision if it happens. When feelings are involved it's very hard to think straight.
@us5freaak8 ай бұрын
Don’t normalize cheating please
@jennaprovenzale2547 ай бұрын
Sorry but there is truth to this especially with social media and online dating nowadays. Almost everyone experiences cheating at some point
@joannadziokan32676 ай бұрын
@@jennaprovenzale254 Of course :)
@00uab8 ай бұрын
The question here for me would be, what is the point of asking questions like this? Reason one they could lie, second reason isn't more important and useful to focus more in their present behaviour towards us? And actually how they behave today will give you the hints to know who they are today and if they are the right person for us.... then down the line, these questions/conversations will come up naturally.... I believe that the best way to know if someone is for us is just to make them feel comfortable around us so then they will show you who they are, then you can decide if you wanna stay or leave. Pretending someone to revele their "secrets" early on just because you have the right to know so you can decide if stay or leave sounds like a person very egotistical and like you feel entitled to know .....
@kristina8128 ай бұрын
Love this view! And I agree. I feel a lot of people tend to focus on the past… a lot. Yes it is important to acknowledge and take accountability for our past mistakes, but at some point we have to focus on the future. We can’t change the past, but we can change our future.
@paulacabrera98648 ай бұрын
Cheating can have complicated explanation. Sometimes it is not about one person. It can be something happening in a relationship that resulted on cheating....
@JulesKennedvitch8 ай бұрын
Honestly, it's not that complicated. There's only one person who takes the choice to cheat. If there's a problem in your relationship, just be honest and talk about it. Or leave. Don't betray someone, lies are only a waste of time... And we don't have enough time available for this kind of stuff, you only live once...
@cdrmt32293 ай бұрын
A cheater “forgiving themselves” is complete BS and is a huge red flag. Cheating is a choice. A conscience, premeditated thought and action. “Forgiving yourself” while for hurting others means it will happen again. It means they can do whatever they want and avoid accountability and responsibility. Walk away from anyone who cheats. Emotional cheating too.
@mandyrobertson71398 ай бұрын
I'm afraid you're better on your own with your online business Mathew. You've given it a try but it's not great & people tune in to see you, not your wife (no offence). Occasional guests are good, but you've always been better on your own. Look back at your brill early stuff. If your wife wants to do this too, she could try in her own & see how she gets on 🤷🏼♀️. Just wanted to put my feedback as I've watched you for yrs & got a lot out of it
@linnie148 ай бұрын
Sad to have to agree with you here. Audrey is beautiful and smart, but there is something lagging and lacking in this format.
@ZiliaVing8 ай бұрын
Respectfully disagree.
@annastone56248 ай бұрын
A QUESTION: Matthew could you discuss safety, when meeting new people? How do I verify the identity of a stranger? How do I know he’s not a serial killer? What steps should I take, when I meet someone new? I’d like to meet him again, but how do I start to fact check his stories and verify he is who he says he is? Thank you!🙏🏻
@angeldust_45183 ай бұрын
social media can say a lot about identity,also relations meet them in public places until u know them well enough and their social cycle that's basically all u need
@nikkiallen15007 күн бұрын
Have a copy or 2 of his drivers license & give to family. This is what my relative did for First dates & beyond, until she got to know him & felt entirely safe.
@annastone56246 күн бұрын
How did she get him to give his drivers liscence? Guys have safety concerns too, even just having someone’s id opens up fraud opportunities. I think sure maybe if you start dating, but in the period before that? With strangers?
@Syraky8 ай бұрын
I feel like this makes little sense openly share.Ofcourse, honesty is needed once the question is asked but if being open about your mistakes in the past ( implying work has been done to improve), is meaning you'll lose a potential great future with someone. I get that actions have consequences but this feels like once you've cheated, you're just losing forever cause probably the majority won't give you a chance for a mistake you made possibly 8 years ago
@kristina8128 ай бұрын
I agree, or what if it was a mistake someone made when they were a teenager? Does that depict their future as an adult in relationships?
@themick65862 ай бұрын
My ex cheated on 3 husbands, at 65 she is broken and alone, her own children call her a psychopath.
@yasminefahmi77188 ай бұрын
WTF is wrong with matt’s eyebrows 😮?!
@ampressiv32082 ай бұрын
Perhaps some of our fears if not all of them are our own cocreations and when we build a level of restiance towards tthem they pull us into the oppposite direction of our intention and we become them.
@jayromuelnacino33586 ай бұрын
Yes cheater can change but a one in hundreds
@janeshelswell33138 ай бұрын
Hi Mathew, after watching this video I also watched your Love Life video and I just wanted to leave you a comment about it. I am a young 63 year old woman who hasn’t had a great deal of success with relationships. I made a lot of notes! Because I have made a lot of mistakes!! We all do! Seriously though, that was a fabulous video and I am pretty impressed with you, at your age, giving me ideas and suggestions I hadn’t thought of! I plan on ordering your book too. Thank you for sharing your gift!
@RRthee18 ай бұрын
This was much needed right now. 😢 Thank you.
@jeanandersonlscsw25507 ай бұрын
I don’t think they always learn
@iamlove7373Күн бұрын
Its extremely triggering to hear her calling cheating a freaking "mistake" please watch your language when offering advise to ppl who have suffered from the trauma of betrayal.
@JasXOx08 ай бұрын
I broke up with my ex last month, and all the time with him I have felt like he never come clean and that things don't really add up. My relationship with him was pretty much hidden from his friends and family. He is a pilot and he will always use the excuse that he is flying as a reason that he is not around and replying. Even when with his friends, he will be gone for hours. Now that the relationship have ended, I find it so hard to find closure because I did not get the truths despite multiple fights during and after the relationship. This relationship has brought up a lot of insecurities in me that I find it hard to move on. He is still present as more of a distant "friend" at the moment. I don't know if I am being just too naive by keeping him around to eventually hope to see the truth for what it is or should I just let it go even though I find it hard.
@angeldust_45183 ай бұрын
i think he is just not right for you,he might enjoy spending lots of time away and that's okey,find someone who can be more present
@tubemankiwi24 күн бұрын
Being in a position where you got no closure for how you felt should give you the closure you need. They didn't care or didn't have enough maturity to provide you what you needed.
@pixie345820 күн бұрын
@@JasXOx0 my advice is to go no contact.... You need to take yourself back 😍
@sayoutube888 ай бұрын
Great episode! Just a feedback - Audrey has great points but I would prefer if she doesn’t interrupt Mathew halfway especially when he is making an interesting point - because it redirect his conversation to another point and then we miss his original message. Audrey is a very intelligent lady - her role could be to ask smart questions at the right pause - like an interviewer.
@amiramahgoub6 ай бұрын
If someone tells me I'll never let someone breaks my ❤. Then watch.. . for that person is heartbreaker hurt ppl hurts ppl
@lizl-d1f8 ай бұрын
RED FLAG
@aminjafari-n7s7 ай бұрын
I got cheated on, gave her a chance, she did it again, gave her another chance, repeated it with the same person, and one more time before I realized the relationship of five years is now over. I think she never really felt guilty about it.
@bondarem5 ай бұрын
Did she fall out of love with you? Did you ask about the reason?
@angeldust_45183 ай бұрын
sad to see how blessed a person was and still wasted it
@candiscullison15828 ай бұрын
I'm dealing with a challenge right now unrelated to cheating but holy cow this message shot me straight through the heart. thank you Also I'm fearing there is no virtual retreat this year... am I right? I went last year in June and it has impacted my world SO much. my big domino was boundaries and I have messily and imperfectly made crazy progress. anyway thank you for your voice in the world it grounds me when I'm feeling a little lost. Also, I love Audrey being on! It just so happened I got engaged and married at around the same time as you guys so its been the perfect transition of content ❤
@lynkeeart3 ай бұрын
This was so helpful hear. Thank you 🙏🏽
@HappinessPlannerTV6 ай бұрын
Love these episodes with your wife, Matthew! ❤
@TheHollandHS6 ай бұрын
Once a stigma always a stigma Thats how stigma works.
@MarkSummers-g2n26 күн бұрын
Once A Player Always A Player
@dominiquegordon88139 күн бұрын
This is so spot on ill be listening to this again.