Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater? Here's What You Should Know...

[@Lilybet1316]

And sometimes people cheat, don’t see anything wrong with it, don’t care that it hurts you and just keep doing it. Not everyone feels guilty and they are awful.

[@alanataylor1106]

Yep

[@coutureleotards]

They don't think they are awful ❤😉

[@jonathanvilleneuve5766]

Dealing with this at the moment and it almost broke me. Never thought this person would cheat on me after 2.5 years. Could have just broken off the relationship and go get fucked by the same guy but nope... Tell me she loves me and ghosts me the same day, only to find out a week later she's already fucking a sugar daddy.

[@Christinebord]

@@coutureleotards they should. Someone who's not able to respect others, is not able to respect himself, and has no to be respected by anyone. Pretty sad, actually.

[@MarkSummers-g2n]

Thank God for Creating Hell

[@tapiwa_mavende]

When someone lies in general they have not only broken the trust but they've stolen from you. They've stolen the chance for you to make an informed decision.

[@dominiquegordon8813]

Exactly

[@dominiquegordon8813]

Exactly

[@JackRogers007]

Cheating and being open about and accepting it was wrong upfront is how you build trust but cheating and hiding it instantly we are done.

[@Omara_the_femb]

EXACTLY. the worst part it's that I felt bad when she cheated on me and she had so low empathy that she literally didn't care "yeah I used you so now I'm not even gonna listen to you, I have another one so why caring"

[@MarkSummers-g2n]

You build trust on cheating on a cheater

[@Omara_the_femb]

@@MarkSummers-g2n you can't forgive a cheater

[@JackRogers007]

@@Omara_the_femb one the whole it’s just better to tell them to pack their shit and move on,

[@Omara_the_femb]

@@JackRogers007 she did but I can't she had many exes so she probably knows how to. but I can't the memories are so precious to me. I almost got to being 1 year together with her. Now the "anniversary passed" and noone of us cared.I just. Its not my fault but I feel bad because I loved her

[@mpfree7]

Oh c'mon, no matter what somebody tells me about themselves in the begining, whether it's good or bad, it doesn't mean much, because I will have to find out who they are by myself anyway. And the only way to do that is through experiencing their actions. You always have to take some risk when getting to know someone new. So I'm not sure if I need from them a list of all the bad things they've done in the past and a written guarantee they won't do them again. In the end what matters most is how they really act today. Because someone might tell me they are great and never cheat and it might simply be a lie. So, there are no guaratees with anyone. You can't control everything, there is always some risk factor.

[@kaileesi]

What if someone not only tells you they cheated, but that they think cheating is justifiable under certain circumstances. Would you still give them a chance knowing they think there are justifiable reasons?

[@Daddy2025HQ]

Just came out of a toxic relationship I think best for me just stay single and be free

[@alitez960]

Give yourself time to heal,trust me,ÿou will meet the right one

[@MarkSummers-g2n]

Everybody should be free and single and eliminate marriage so the Village can raise children

[@joek1168]

Once someone cheats the bond of trust is broken forever and a relationship cannot exist without trust. If you take the cheater back they will know they got away with it once, they can get away with it again. They will never fully respect you. Cheating is choice as well, never a mistake. Its many choices actually, that were intentionally made that lead to the physical act. Why give your heart to someone like that?

[@Me-Me96]

It is a choice but there are some people who don’t cheat again and they straighten up there act

[@JoshuaCapin96]

But the trust has already been broken.

[@Me-Me96]

@@JoshuaCapin96 true. That’s why as the cheater you offer to go to therapy or give access to your location

[@susanparkes5096]

Anyone who cheats on me has just proven themselves morally incompatible with me and therefore unsuitable as a partner. One strike and you're out - something i learnt the hard way, and the way is still hard.

[@Johnsmith409]

I disagree completely

[@angelabloom]

I love his wife in it. It gives a women’s perspective. The interactions between them is a compelling dynamic I thoroughly enjoy. ❤ nicely done Audrey and Matt carry on!

[@the1stmetalhead]

Has anyone ever told you look like Alyssa White Gluz.

[@georgesaunders3532]

If someone tells you they have cheated in the past, and regretted it, for me it shows a level of honesty if anything. People who haven't learnt their lesson, and doesn't want to be better usually won't tell you their bad side of their past. So if someone opens up about their bad sides, take that as a green flag initially and give them the benefit of the doubt

[@marcusmagnificus1984]

Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

[@timesfly6382]

Damn

[@LocPham-kw5ut]

Those cheaters who always find a way to justify their action are the worst, they will never change.

[@marcusmagnificus1984]

@@LocPham-kw5ut They even have a subreddit nowadays and compare notes on how they betray their significant others. Totally insane and nefarious.

[@dontfreakoutwerejustclowns7023]

I keep hearing « Once a cheetah, always a cheetah » 🐆😄

[@dtuitt79]

Just because you trust someone, doesn't mean you should. Just because you don't trust someone, doesn't mean you shouldn't.

[@lesliebean4594]

Story of my life lol

[@luna84_]

Bruh 😅😂

[@ViperPain141]

This motto would cause self mistrust to ones person and would fester into a trust problem that will affect your relationship. I don’t buy it

[@dtuitt79]

@@ViperPain141 It's not a motto, it's a fact. No one is absolutely trustworthy or untrustworthy. Hindsight is 20/20. We have all put our trust in people, to find out that we shouldn't have. & some of us have come to trust people that we didn't think we could & didn't regret it. Personally, when it comes to romantic relationships, I trust women as long as they value the relationship. How can you tell if they value the relationship? Nothing is 100%, but I look at the boundaries & staples (for lack of a better word) that they put into place to protect the relationship. We all know that if someone doesn't value something they won't take care of it. It's the same with relationships.

[@ViperPain141]

@@dtuitt79 While it's true that trust is complex and situational, saying that no one is absolutely trustworthy or untrustworthy can be overly cynical and might dismiss the importance of consistent behavior and character. Trust is often built over time through repeated actions that demonstrate reliability and integrity. In romantic relationships, relying solely on whether someone "values" the relationship might be subjective and open to misinterpretation. People's actions can be influenced by various factors, and even someone who values a relationship can make mistakes or act out of character under stress. Furthermore, boundaries and efforts to protect a relationship are crucial, but they are just one aspect of trust. Communication, empathy, and mutual respect also play significant roles. Overemphasizing the protective measures might lead to a relationship that feels more like a guarded contract than a genuine partnership. Ultimately, while hindsight is indeed 20/20, fostering trust requires a balance of reasonable expectations, open communication, and a willingness to understand and forgive imperfections.

[@Christinebord]

Sorry, but confidence is, for me, the POINT in relationship. When once broken, felling guilty or not, sorry or not afterwards, there is no future for this relationship for me, I'll never feel safe in it anymore and I leave and move on out of it.

[@SandraBender-iy8fe]

Me too! They knew if you found out it would crush you, but they did it anyway....with no regards for us what's so ever! They didn't care if they risk losing you, these kind of selfish and arrogant people don't really know what love is... and that is undeniable sad. They don't have the capacity to know the difference between sex and making love...they are loss souls....true narcissist...they are not men they are boys with toys. A real man would know the difference from chasing the stars, while the lose the moon ! They are selfish, cowards! There is a big difference...love is a beautiful feeling...Don't settle for less, your the prize, make them earn your trust, love, respect ,loyalty !

[@mmm24ist]

7:04 Wow. that's strong. I guess that's why my ex-wife for months refused to talk about her not being loyal to me - as it turned out later she was not willing to stop pursuing that other guy, she was blaming me to not trusting her, and refused to talk about it, few months later I've discovered she hadn't stop.

[@evgeniiakovalskaya6508]

This is so common - to blame you in not trusting, when they cheat...

[@katieelow8892]

My girlfriend of 6 years cheated on me and it destroyed me like nothing else i had ever experienced. It was the same pain as when my cousin was killed in a car accident when i was a boy. I had not felt pain like this for 25 years. She told me "i made a mistake" i didnt reply. SHE MADE A CHOICE NOT A MISTAKE !

[@emperorpalpatine6239]

I am so sorry for your pain. But remember, never lose hope. You will find the one.

[@UranusIsLeaking]

Infidelity is most comparable to a death, the relationship does die. In my opinion aside from extremely hard work for the 1% who wants to try it work it’s not worth it. As technology advances if the memory could be removed from the victim the relationship could have had higher chance of success. With that said, if the cheater stops before they get caught and don’t disclose and puts 110% into the relationship it could work. Obviously there’s issues with all this, but something to think about.

[@AlanaMorris-z4o]

If they’re open, honest, vulnerable, and willing to communicate to the point you feel safe and secure (which rarely happens), then they still respect you enough to be honest and vulnerable, while validating your feelings. But, if they’re lying, denying, shifting the blame, refusing accountability, etc. then they’re telling you it wasn’t a one time circumstance. Either get comfortable getting cheated on, or leave.

[@Gotoworkkk]

Lol men are only resentful when they get caught. Unfortunately, cheating can go on for years if not decades, if not found out.

[@alicjaalvena1120]

no, people dont learn through mistakes only. i dont need to cheat to know i dont want to cheat. some past mistakes are unforgivable in my eyes and i have every right to be entitled to my standards.

[@jacovanderschaaf3044]

yes and now. my ex past relationship did way worser things that should have been red flag for her, yet she put up a blind eye, knowing it but did not take action, until police nocking on the door and arrest him for having childporn on his laptop. that a way worser thing, then that i was not intery honest to say me shamles past that i thought it was because as autistic that never did have good parentinghood, did'nt know how to keep houholding up, so i got people that guiding me to it. yet it felt telling this her making me not a men. that why i told her little her and little later, because i was afraid she might leave me if told her everything.

[@jacovanderschaaf3044]

yet she thinks that major red flag of her past is the same as my mistrust of bieng honest about me past. if you want to wieght somthing about red flags and orange flags, why is that my orange flag was for her red flag.

[@shea5542]

@@jacovanderschaaf3044I’m so sorry you dealt with that

[@cristinaab955]

The most insightful thing I’ve ever heard when it comes to this topic

[@Joy-mm3cz]

As someone who is midlife (51) I had many conversations prior to meeting up for a first date. I didn’t want to waste in person time if I didn’t feel like we were both on the same page for major things (like politics, religion or views on cheating in a relationship). I knew that everyone I was meeting in public never cheated in their relationships. I didn’t give details of why my marriage ended after 25 yrs but took ownership for the lack of communication and growth. I also told them all of the work that o had done for the past 3 yrs to make sure I didn’t repeat old habits.

[@npkrn6764]

​@Alixir1228People (men and women) will most likely lie about something like that. I've not been married, but did date a separated man once years ago. At the time, in my 20s, he hadnt seen his wife in 3+ years, they just hadn't formally, legally divorced yet. We had mutual friends from high school so I knew all this to be true. He was in the military and his wife cheated on him and admitted it; hence the separation. But I guess the point about people lying or withholding it from new people, I'm not sure it's anyone's business. It's definitely an ethical debatable question, isn't it? How much IS anything in someone's past a new person's business?? 🤔

[@logistico21]

@Alixir1228I learned the hard way, it’s not only men that cheat.

[@MarkSummers-g2n]

I'm over 50 and never been on a date ! I thought God hated me for having bad looks but instead God has kept me from getting involved with toxic people

[@MarkSummers-g2n]

What Habits were they

[@2171april]

Right off the bat the man I started dating told me that his first marriage ended because he had had an affair & that he deeply regretted it & would never do that again because it caused so much heartache & damage to everyone involved. I was stupid enough to believe him and went on to marry him just for him to cheat on me like he did his first wife. So if anyone ever tells you their relationship or marriage ended because they cheated my advice is RUN! Do not believe that they will not do it again. They are liars!

[@deniseodendaal5824]

Exactly ! They will tell you upfront, what will happen to you in the future. My ex partner cheated on their GF in the past, then cheated on me twice. I should have run early on when he told me what his patterns were early on. It’s a pattern of behaviour, if they do it once it will happen again

[@kacibong14]

Me too😢 i thought repentance was the key but no it’s a pattern.

[@MarkSummers-g2n]

@@kacibong14 Only when they lose a body part the cheating stops

[@pixie3458]

Generally they regret being caught and having to make a choice.

[@nataliergauci]

Amen. 🎉

[@estherweekes7571]

Thank you! ❤ What a gem of an insight regarding whose responsability it is to make you feel safe. It's not your responsibility to make yourself trust the person who deceived you. It's their job. Bless you both! ❤

[@allenmciver1888]

If someone tells you who they are, believe them. If you lie to yourself, don't blame him. Blame you.

[@lesliebean4594]

“Believe them the first time”.

[@the1stmetalhead]

Reminds me of the J Cole song. Fool me one time shame on you. Fool me twice can’t put the blame on you. Fool me three times f**k the peace signs load the chopper let it rain on you.

[@amygaita5778]

I have been married for 32 years and was betrayed thirteen years ago by my husband. He denied. I stayed and focused on work and our children but lost myself. Now youngest is a senior and I'm struggling. We're starting counseling. I don't know who I am

[@judyoliver3672]

Been there.

[@JL-lh8kl]

My wife cheated on me 20 years ago. She was caught out. Don't think she would have confessed. I loved my 4 year old daughter so much at the time that I decided to stay and try and make it work. Today I know that was a big mistake. You can never trust a cheater again even if they never cheat again - that's how bad it is. The character flaw allowing someone to cheat manifests in many other ways as well which reminds you of the cheating. 20 years of a really unhappy marriage and the effects on our children just because you wanted to cheat. It's not worth it. Why did I even get married is the question I keep asking myself......

[@mshazebabelicious]

@@JL-lh8klbecause you a real man. The question is why did your wife want to get married?🙄

[@MisterDeathly]

I just want to give a piece of advice that I thought would really help someone. This is my experience. If you tell the person you love to not do this one thing,and they do it anyways, and this breaks you. Please don't convince yourself to still love them. Please just walk away. You see, I asked for something simple to get my trust all I asked was to not be kept in a box in my own relationship. To simple tell your own family how much I'm important to you. She didn't do it. This broke my trust, and I still chose to love her. Long story short, she cheated on me. It's been about 2 years later. I'm over it,but I still hate myself for allowing myself to love someone who never deserved my love to begin with. So once trust is broke, walk away. For yourself, cause that's more important.

[@pekkalaitinen8769]

To people who currently go through the shock phase of breakup, I'm with you. Going through it myself for the second time. Understand intellectually that the person you mourn for does not exist, never did. You are sad because of the image of this person and the fictional imagined future of you two. You are not sad for losing what she actually was/is. That person you though she was never existed, she was not what you thought she was, but something else instead. Understand this and even though it hurts now, also understand the hurt WILL go away with time. Time is your friend. I've been through one TOUGH breakup from a 8 year relationship and currently going through another one from a year long relationship. Got cheated in both. Life sucks and then you die, but also gotta remember that when you do good things, universe tends to reward you with good things. Act in a way where you can have clear conscience after breakup, do the inner work and rise from the ashes. Don't become bitter, become better. And if you are a woman cheated by a man, just replace "she" with "he" in my post.

[@kathyturner9150]

I'm not sure it ever goes away. We just learn to deal with it, like a death but it's a betrayal also even a scam from someone you thought loved you. No one knows what they are getting and that's what is scary.

[@leeretaschen231]

Yes. You either believe cheating is acceptable or excusable or you do not. A person who cheats will always be the type of person who cheats. Infidelity is not a mistake; it is a choice.

[@Arvingencom]

'The Point is to find someone, in a relationship, who is good at handling you' 😍

[@Samanyamanushya]

As adults we need to learn to handle ourselves better. Infidelity is something like a law of marriage wherein it's punishable by divorce.

[@mikef2811]

A cheater will never learn until something DEVASTING happens to the cheater. That DEVASTING thing is for you to leave and never come back. I would know.

[@IamJennifer.D]

Were you a cheater ?

[@isabelc.m9593]

YES to this video. I was with someone who aggravated me, he's not a bad person, but he wasn't on the road to healing his demons/struggles and it aggravated me BIG time. Not the right person for me.

[@Phoenix64902]

If a person cheats in spite of being in a seemingly good relationship and they continue to lie to that person behind their back and once found out they know they have hurt feelings but go on to do it again another time… then that person hasn’t learnt any lessons because they have no respect and feel they are justified to do what they like and when they like. Liars are mainly out for their own selfish needs. Run for the hills, they ain’t changing for no one! Save yourself from mental health.

[@moonlightstride3352]

7:00 “The things we don’t talk about are the things we’re worried we’re going to repeat.”

[@al5068]

One thing I can tell is Matthew and Audrey have such great chemistry. ❤️ he is so in love with her it’s adorable 🥰

[@yaelli4378]

I really love the comments that Audrey makes. They are very specific and particular to so many times people were in these situation she's describing. As a woman I can easily relate to these strains of thought.

[@palapalak.8907]

What's done in the dark will come into the light. People think they are slick but technology always seems to bust these cheaters. I love it! I am FREE! And it feels great! When u text someone, u never know who is reading the text. Especially if it pops up in the car . It happenned to me. Unbelievable! RUN if it happens to you.

[@Ahboncestfou]

It popped up on his Garmin. That’s how I found out. But he kept lying until I messaged the other girl who sent me screenshots of their conversations 🫠

[@more_crispy]

i cheated one time and was so shocked of myself and the hurt I caused to my partner and the relationship that I would NEVER ever do it again.

[@yoshinoaki6614]

@MarkusKayl_ I envy you manage to reach your partner.... As first time cheater.. yes I do feel anything wrong admit my mistake and wrong doings.... I don't had rights to defend but important I go confession to god and priest atone my sins... Now last night my heart got heartache mini attack I feel god punish me Abit and gave me something lifetime.. mission to win my girlfriend heart again and promising never cheat again... Since I promise to god ... That promise will be unbreakable.... Some cheaters are always cheaters but not all first time cheaters who are true honest person... Will do that again... God gave me life time task re-new my life I am sharing this open honesty, transparency from this comment... Believe or not.. I am an honest person.. will do everything in my power to work everything to court the person woman I loved most.. and forever loving her... Never cheated again....

[@yoshinoaki6614]

Same here brother... I WILL NEVER DO CHEAT AGAIN.,. NEVER AGAIN TILL END OF MY LIFE...

[@yoshinoaki6614]

As first time cheater.. yes I do feel anything wrong admit my mistake and wrong doings.... I don't had rights to defend but important I go confession to god and priest atone my sins... Now last night my heart got heartache mini attack I feel god punish me Abit and gave me something lifetime.. mission to win my girlfriend heart again and promising never cheat again... Since I promise to god ... That promise will be unbreakable.... Some cheaters are always cheaters but not all first time cheaters who are true honest person... Will do that again... God gave me life time task re-new my life I am sharing this open honesty, transparency from this comment... Believe or not.. I am an honest person.. will do everything in my power to work everything to court the person woman I loved most.. and forever loving her... Never cheated again....

[@clairexxx0405]

I'm in a terrible mess with someone making me feel very unsafe in there actions after over two years .... Thank you for this video you've both given me alot to think about 🕊

[@taraz6786]

Genuine question. Why are you still with them if they make you feel unsafe? 🤔

[@ekayaniperforms]

@@taraz6786sometimes domestic violence is an element.

[@taraz6786]

@@ekayaniperforms Oh god, just another reason to stay away from men. I honestly don’t know how women stay hopeful and look for male partners when they are so scary to be around, especially for long periods of time. 🤦‍♀️

[@noouhh1420]

@@ekayaniperformsjumping to conclusions about why someone feels unsafe is extremely immature.

[@janeshelswell3313]

Hi Mathew, after watching this video I also watched your Love Life video and I just wanted to leave you a comment about it. I am a young 63 year old woman who hasn’t had a great deal of success with relationships. I made a lot of notes! Because I have made a lot of mistakes!! We all do! Seriously though, that was a fabulous video and I am pretty impressed with you, at your age, giving me ideas and suggestions I hadn’t thought of! I plan on ordering your book too. Thank you for sharing your gift!

[@dschefers9700]

Cheating for a person is very close to a drug addiction. You can never trust that they will not relapse. It takes time for any cheater to prove they have changed.

[@RRthee1]

This was much needed right now. 😢 Thank you.

[@jeanandersonlscsw2550]

I have a different view and experience. When they tell you right away they can also be covering their tracks bc you may find out from someone else . My personal experience. They then have the same patterns . It happens again many times . Unfortunately. Acting like Mr Honest upfront is also a red flag

[@felixtedeku2081]

One thing about cheaters is they're always not comfortable inside no matter how they pretend to be cause is like always trying to hide something inside. They know your a good person with good intentions and they know you don't deserve what they doing to you even though you don't know nothing about what they doing, so that guilty always hunt them inside

[@abhinavkumar3398]

Ones a cheater is not always a cheater, few people work hard on her/himself, people evolves, know about boundries, realises and commit their mistakes and promise with them to not repeat again next time, relationship dynamics, how to be in a wonderful relationship then only they can't cheat.

[@the1stmetalhead]

It is possible but the number of people who are like that are very rare. Almost negligible. Majority men and women who cheat or have cheated in the past with their exes will do it again with you as well.

[@us5freaak]

They are not capable of evolving

[@jayromuelnacino3358]

Yes its possible, a one in 100 cheaters.

[@Grand_Edict]

@@the1stmetalheadthat why you don’t take people who have cheated - however long in the past seriously. I don’t care what anyone says. I have always and will always punish the behaviour eventually

[@legalfictionnaturalfact3969]

They're welcome to try again, but not with us! Because we are above that. :-)

[@johnrichards3666]

If you're in what you think is a monogamous relationship and the other person cheats, you only have the choice of staying or leaving. If you can put up with living with a cheater, stay. If not, leave without looking back. The person who cheated will always cheat and they will leave you high and dry when they find a better "mark." Don't be a fool.

[@jeanandersonlscsw2550]

Love this have seen the cycle repeated over and over . Check out the man’s background like I didn’t and learned .

[@candiscullison1582]

I'm dealing with a challenge right now unrelated to cheating but holy cow this message shot me straight through the heart. thank you Also I'm fearing there is no virtual retreat this year... am I right? I went last year in June and it has impacted my world SO much. my big domino was boundaries and I have messily and imperfectly made crazy progress. anyway thank you for your voice in the world it grounds me when I'm feeling a little lost. Also, I love Audrey being on! It just so happened I got engaged and married at around the same time as you guys so its been the perfect transition of content ❤

[@divinelorraine]

I used to be a cheater. I had a spiritual awakening & fully repented. It was soul wrenching to look in the mirror & reflect on the pain I had caused. People can change, but they really have to have a profound coming to God moment to see the light & do the work. ❤

[@Adiscretefirm]

The repented fall back all the time

[@Sunset_Princess08]

You don’t need God to repent as a cheater

[@Actinism]

@@Adiscretefirm True

[@SandraBender-iy8fe]

It maybe too late to save that relationship. However, I really believe that you are truly sorry for the pain you inflicted on someone so special to you....and I respect that,totally. God bless....please keep that mindset...it will get better!

[@SandraBender-iy8fe]

As for me i need my almighty father all the time...from the moment i wake up to the moment i close my eyes....Amen! ❤🙏​@@Sunset_Princess08

[@PeterM-o8r]

If my girlfriend cheated and i have solid proof, i would dump her immediately. I'm not a therapist, so she will have to get that fixed on her on time. Once a cheater will always be a cheater.

[@ghostbuff79]

My ex had a year long affair and was actively trying to get her pregnant because I can’t have kids. I found out the weekend of my bachelorette, 2 months before my wedding. His mistress messaged me after he tried to end things with her. His response was he wanted to be with me but he had realized he wants kids so he has to pursue that. Like he couldn’t have thought of that in the last 6 years!

[@georgecatterton3514]

I'm a male but just went through this almost exact same situation with my fiancé. However, I should be able to have children. Just now, I'm not sure if it's mine and the wedding is off.

[@ghostbuff79]

@@georgecatterton3514 I’m sorry. People are horrible. Hope you find someone who values you.

[@emperorpalpatine6239]

Some people are just horrible

[@ValerieWalker-z8s]

This happened to me we together for 13 years we.has a son together we has up and down but he chat's i forgive him the first time but here we go's again but this time a baby it's on the way 😢

[@eyeqgadgets]

I lost my four years of my life trying to trust that person i really love, but reality was faded in my head because of my love. I made mistake trusting the person and gets cheated again and again, its Feb 2024 and I'm now at the level where is was in jun 2020.

[@truechamp3404]

Tell me more about it... i am so lost

[@kathyturner9150]

Be thankful only 4 yrs gone. Not 20 or 30 . It hurts still, I know but trust me it is a blessing you knew early.

[@eyeqgadgets]

@@truechamp3404 it's a long story brother

[@eyeqgadgets]

@@kathyturner9150 yeah I also think like you said, I'm thankful I do not lost more than 4 years

[@HappinessPlannerTV]

Love these episodes with your wife, Matthew! ❤

[@Danledz]

The way you do something is the way you do everything. If they're a lier to beginn with, given enough time and space, they will cheat.

[@trishajohnson4692]

Well my ex was a bad person. He lied, he cheated, he physically hurt me-and he felt no guilt whatsoever. And thats what he did in his previous relationships, and guess what? He lied to me that he did. He said it was good relationships before.

[@joeyhowells3848]

He's been divorced 3x me only heard all the nightmare stories of his life now been together for almost 7yrs I'm so sick and tired of all his lies I'm done for me once a cheater always a cheater. He finds fault with everybody, not to mention his road rage, it's all about himself and forget to ever hear sorry Thank you very much I'm done What a total creep of human

[@matthewschwartz6607]

This was a really good/ deep session. This guy is good .

[@pikapoka17]

Omg, such a powerful finish! It should definitely be at least a short clip if not a topic in itself.

[@ADSDLD]

Once a cheater always a cheater is a phrase that’s right. That’s coming from a cheater

[@evgeniiakovalskaya6508]

He tried to cheat once, 3 years after we got married (our daughter was 6 months old and I was so lonely and exhausted by the motherhood), was caught. I forgave him... And nearly 2 years later he actually cheated on me. I forgave. But there were no trust at all from that moment, something got broken in me and I wasn't happy... And now we broke up, after 10 years of marriage, when he was caught in the texting again. 1 month after I feel like I'm just awake, trying to figure out what I want and what I like. I shouldn't forgive him and we had to divorce 7 years ago. Unfortunately now my daughter is absolutely traumatized by our broke up - her dad doesn't have any interest in her since the day he left. I think if we got divorce when she was a baby it would be better because she wouldn't be so attached to her father. 😢

[@angeldust_4518]

it is sad to see people throwing away such a blessing to be forgiven, when a person does it more than 1 time they don't deserve it. you are an angel, I'm sure you will find absolute happiness in the path.

[@catdreaminginthesun6901]

I hope young people read this and learn.

[@Mila-Believer-wife-mamaof3-RN]

The right person is good for your healing….that’s what he states at the end. That’s pretty much implying someone who is meant for me will heal me. I’m sorry but I completely disagree. If you are broken and you need to heal, you shouldn’t be out there looking for the right person to heal you. You should focus on yourself, heal then once you’ve healed go get into a relationship.

[@tubemankiwi]

Unfortunately it is much harder to heal yourself in relation to others when not with others. The best person is someone who grows with you and that is supporting and caring for your growth.

[@lynkeeart]

This was so helpful hear. Thank you 🙏🏽

[@alwaysroomtolearn]

Brilliant conversation guys. Really clarified alot of things in my head and my own situation 👏🏻

[@Middleground_Opinion]

This is like the “born again virgin” nonsense. Cheaters will always be cheaters unfortunately. So if you’re going to “forgive” a cheater you better have a REALLY good reason to put yourself through the pain, because it’s going to happen again. And unfortunately the divorce laws in America incentivize women to cheat because they can do whatever the hell they want and STILL get a paycheck from their victim.

[@cmockingjay7265]

Cheating is a dysfunction. Cheating is abuse. Yes, in most cases, because of the person being broken, that person will cheat again when they are tempted or aren’t able to handle an issue that arises. There are other infidelities like financial infidelity. They react on how they “feel” and what they “want” and not commitment!

[@br8979]

Audrey Hussey? Did I miss the wedding? 😮 Congratulations 🎉🥂

[@rogersepeda]

In my first marriage I cheated, not proud of it, I got my reasons, ( not justifying what I did was right) but in my second marriage, I don’t even attempt to do anything behind my wife’s back. One thing I learned is that cheating may feel good at first but at the end, it’s just the devil in disguise. I learned that it’s easier to stay faithful than cheat. It’s very stressful to cheat. You have to lie, remember what you lied about, then at the end of the day they still find out, it could be a mistake you made or something completely out of your control. So it’s better to just not cheat, it’s so much easier, I don’t have to worry about what my wife finds on my phone because I have nothing to hide. I don’t have to worry about lying about anything ( unless it pertains to a gift) and I’m totally stress free. Yes I was stupid for cheating but at least I’m not a serial cheater, I actually care about what happens.

[@barbara6840]

Let's face it. One a cheater IS ALWAYS a cheater. A cheater has a major human character flaw. This person has no integrity and quite selfish. Have you ever asked a cheater if they would like to build a relationship with another cheater? You'll be amazed by their answer. Stay away from cheaters and never go back to a cheater. You are worthy of the same unadulterated love you can give. I have no respect for cheaters.

[@yoshinoaki6614]

@barbara6840I respect your hate on on first time. cheater like me.. . As first time cheater.. yes I do feel anything wrong admit my mistake and wrong doings.... I don't had rights to defend but important I go confession to god and priest atone my sins... Now last night my heart got heartache mini attack I feel god punish me Abit and gave me something lifetime.. mission to win my girlfriend heart again and promising never cheat again... Since I promise to god ... That promise will be unbreakable.... Some cheaters are always cheaters but not all first time cheaters who are true honest person... Will Never do that again... God gave me life time task re-new my life I am sharing this open honesty, transparency from this comment... Believe or not.. I am an honest person.. will do everything in my power to work everything to court the person woman I loved most.. and forever loving her... Never cheated again....

[@pixie3458]

@@barbara6840 that's a very good question. My ex had been cheated on and he had long term affairs when he was married. He got really angry when he thought about it being done to him!

[@dominiquegordon8813]

None zero respect

[@sharonmargaretstewart8341]

Great podcast with your beautiful wife Audrey Matthew, have a wonderful day, bless yous 🦋🌸💫💫💫💫👏👏👏🍀

[@messtika-581]

Ooooohhhhh ❤ congratulations on your marriage guys 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@aminjafari-n7s]

I got cheated on, gave her a chance, she did it again, gave her another chance, repeated it with the same person, and one more time before I realized the relationship of five years is now over. I think she never really felt guilty about it.

[@bondarem]

Did she fall out of love with you? Did you ask about the reason?

[@angeldust_4518]

sad to see how blessed a person was and still wasted it

[@PJHEATERMAN]

I can only assume my wife only cheated once. She begged for forgiveness and i gave her home and family back. Did she realize what she almost lost? I have no idea.

[@Cerenduil]

That's why is so important to lecture and to warn young women, nowadays so many young girls are kicking in the 'Tinder experience' and, overall, the 'hook up culture' and then they feel the need to cheat in stable relationships later on because the dopamine hit consquences are always there, plus, since they have it way easier than men to have ONS, to cheat is becoming more common in them, again; specifically in young people.

[@BC-yb1mq]

Such intelligent conversation...

[@dominiquegordon8813]

This is so spot on ill be listening to this again.

[@diananatsch2013]

Thank you for this ❤ I needed this.

[@CarolinaMillan]

I can say by experience that yes, once a cheater always a cheater. And I didn’t want to listen 😢

[@sa34w]

Cheating is a choice , but post that the questions you need to ask them is why they did it, what did they feel

[@00uab]

The question here for me would be, what is the point of asking questions like this? Reason one they could lie, second reason isn't more important and useful to focus more in their present behaviour towards us? And actually how they behave today will give you the hints to know who they are today and if they are the right person for us.... then down the line, these questions/conversations will come up naturally.... I believe that the best way to know if someone is for us is just to make them feel comfortable around us so then they will show you who they are, then you can decide if you wanna stay or leave. Pretending someone to revele their "secrets" early on just because you have the right to know so you can decide if stay or leave sounds like a person very egotistical and like you feel entitled to know .....

[@kristina812]

Love this view! And I agree. I feel a lot of people tend to focus on the past… a lot. Yes it is important to acknowledge and take accountability for our past mistakes, but at some point we have to focus on the future. We can’t change the past, but we can change our future.

[@amiramahgoub]

If someone tells me I'll never let someone breaks my ❤. Then watch.. . for that person is heartbreaker hurt ppl hurts ppl

[@xTenshiAi]

From my experience, once a cheater always a cheater. They believe that you will take them back no matter what and they can walk all over you.

[@crimsonwhispersva2498]

I found out that my ex I broke up with Last year and was with for a year and 7 months cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship, I have no proof he cheated more than that but I feel he did....last October we reconnected and tried to work through the issues we had during our relationship which was working in better communication, boundaries and more..... but when I found this out I have not talked to him since his apologised allot and has asked can we talk in June and he works on getting my trust back. I still love him a lot but I am scared he will do that again it scares me and makes me feel like I have been used..... he says to me that I am the love of his life but my brain says how am I if u could do this to me.

[@DustinAD]

I’m late but I could offer you advice from my experience

[@crimsonwhispersva2498]

@@DustinAD hun I take the advice if u want to share

[@felixtedeku2081]

You have to be careful even though you love him, take your time to steady him carefully before you make any moves. Don't get carried away by words. To build trust it will take years and he will have to put in extra effort to show he won't cheat again such as stop hiding things and keeping secrets, and allowing you to go through his phone whenever you want to, ane tell you wherever he goes and if he have to share his location, yes he have to.

[@JasXOx0]

I broke up with my ex last month, and all the time with him I have felt like he never come clean and that things don't really add up. My relationship with him was pretty much hidden from his friends and family. He is a pilot and he will always use the excuse that he is flying as a reason that he is not around and replying. Even when with his friends, he will be gone for hours. Now that the relationship have ended, I find it so hard to find closure because I did not get the truths despite multiple fights during and after the relationship. This relationship has brought up a lot of insecurities in me that I find it hard to move on. He is still present as more of a distant "friend" at the moment. I don't know if I am being just too naive by keeping him around to eventually hope to see the truth for what it is or should I just let it go even though I find it hard.

[@angeldust_4518]

i think he is just not right for you,he might enjoy spending lots of time away and that's okey,find someone who can be more present

[@tubemankiwi]

Being in a position where you got no closure for how you felt should give you the closure you need. They didn't care or didn't have enough maturity to provide you what you needed.

[@pixie3458]

@@JasXOx0 my advice is to go no contact.... You need to take yourself back 😍

[@marymartin6896]

If I can not trust them, I am out. Thx

[@daver1351]

How do you prove that you have "done the work" to rebound from cheating? I guess just accept what you did and be upfront about it, and if someone rejects you for that reason, you accept it because you love yourself. Probably the best way to prove that you have recovered. "I really like you, but if this is a dealbreaker for you, I can move on"

[@kathyturner9150]

actions have consequence . If you mean it prove it to yourself and new any relationship. I wouldn't date a cheater but some will.

[@us5freaak]

I want to know on the first date if you’re a cheater so I don’t have to waste my time

[@pixie3458]

@@us5freaak very good advice. I wasted my time with an ex cheater.. It really reflected his self centredness that he demonstrated in so many other ways. He was impotent by this stage, which probably curbed the cheating, at least physically. However he saw nothing wrong with maintaining communication with any exes who hadn't cut him off!

[@RONNYMORRISMUSIC]

My best advise is to stop living in the dark. If you put yourself in the dark you have a problem with yourself. Go through it, change what you need to change but stand tall. Let others independent of you have their own opinion. You do not want to invite someone in to your life who should not be there in the first place..

[@jeanandersonlscsw2550]

I don’t think they always learn

[@verschoor2325]

Thank you for your wise words, Matthew!

[@x.f.4171]

Thnx for giving a great example on narcissistic parent oder sibling, it helps out to understand the context 👍🏻!

[@luciehawaii]

Cheating is not a mistake, it is decision 😊

[@yoshinoaki6614]

It is not a decision but curiousity I loss on curiosity... Now I learned and experience the true definition of cheating/cheater it was disgusting... I will never forgive myself.... But important I am honest person I confess to god and priest.. I must work hard on myself, I WILL NEVER CHEAT AGAIN.... NEVER I PROMISE TO GOD

[@ValsVentures]

I agree, a mistake is adding to much salt to your marinade. Cheating is choice people make . People only change if they want to. Left a relationship with someone that kept doing it every month and I caught him every time. Once a cheater always a cheater. You can say whatever you want to them, use what ever tactics, they go to therapy, it doesn't matter if they don't want to stop doing it.

[@MarkSummers-g2n]

@@ValsVentures A penis doesn't enter a vagina by accident

[@reversedboob6968]

It can be both. Ever made a terrible choice and regretted it heavily afterwards?

[@amc3964]

If someone cheats once, there is a 350 per cent chance of them doing it again. In the stats.

[@themick6586]

My ex cheated on 3 husbands, at 65 she is broken and alone, her own children call her a psychopath.

[@joannadziokan3267]

Everyone gets cheated on. You need to trust yourself that you'll make the right decision if it happens. When feelings are involved it's very hard to think straight.

[@us5freaak]

Don’t normalize cheating please

[@jennaprovenzale254]

Sorry but there is truth to this especially with social media and online dating nowadays. Almost everyone experiences cheating at some point

[@joannadziokan3267]

@@jennaprovenzale254 Of course :)

[@Ingrafre]

Great that you, Audrey, have gotten such an equivalent place now. Audrey is wise and incorruptibly judicial. I felt in the last years she was a bit degraded by Matt as a beautiful listener. But you don't have to fear her talent, Matt; she is complimentary to your trades.

[@maxonout]

I always talk a lot with a man before a face to face, and depending upon how well we have gotten to know each other, maybe even discuss this before our first in person date. When asked, I say, I have cheated in the past....then got cheated on. Had no idea how it felt. Never have cheated since and never will again. I cannot.

[@markoj3512]

my gf said this also to me.... and I said ti her please if you ever want to cheat, please separated to me at first... 2 weeks ago I found out she cheated on me since three months...

[@nataliergauci]

Why wouldnt it be appropriate to ask why theyre relationship ended? Better know early on than later ... everything is personal it depends on whether someone feels comfortable enough to share... it depends on the person on the date. If someone has done the work on themselves then they wouldnt feel so bad about to speak about it. It could be that both people on their first date both cheated on their partners...

[@annastone5624]

A QUESTION: Matthew could you discuss safety, when meeting new people? How do I verify the identity of a stranger? How do I know he’s not a serial killer? What steps should I take, when I meet someone new? I’d like to meet him again, but how do I start to fact check his stories and verify he is who he says he is? Thank you!🙏🏻

[@angeldust_4518]

social media can say a lot about identity,also relations meet them in public places until u know them well enough and their social cycle that's basically all u need

[@nikkiallen1500]

Have a copy or 2 of his drivers license & give to family. This is what my relative did for First dates & beyond, until she got to know him & felt entirely safe.

[@annastone5624]

How did she get him to give his drivers liscence? Guys have safety concerns too, even just having someone’s id opens up fraud opportunities. I think sure maybe if you start dating, but in the period before that? With strangers?

[@mariahhelm5488]

Love this. It's very complicated to be human. But it's also really hard to trust people sometimes. Guys get real savvy these days. I do wish more people would talk more about being "the other woman" though. It's happened to me before and I honest to God had no idea. I've made the mistake to trust freely to whoever. It took atleast two years to work through the shame and guilt of playing a part of a situation like that.

[@emperorpalpatine6239]

As a guy who’s never been in relationships being cheated and never finding out is one of my biggest fears. All these horror stories I’ve read from people who experience betrayal made me really cynical and hyper vigilant. But maybe it’s a good thing.

[@ishadhanda1790]

Thank you 🙏🏻

[@irenewalker3547]

Someone can tell you and you think - how honest ! - and it ist just a announcement that this is what you have to expect in the future ...

[@kellylody7928]

I think the reasons we « cheat » are so complex - I think sometimes people have been faithful for decades and then cheat due to many many reasons - Im not saying it’s ok - but I don’t think every person of whom cheats is a bad person - There is often a multifaceted reason

[@LilJoe10]

7mins in is gold!

[@Syraky]

I feel like this makes little sense openly share.Ofcourse, honesty is needed once the question is asked but if being open about your mistakes in the past ( implying work has been done to improve), is meaning you'll lose a potential great future with someone. I get that actions have consequences but this feels like once you've cheated, you're just losing forever cause probably the majority won't give you a chance for a mistake you made possibly 8 years ago

[@kristina812]

I agree, or what if it was a mistake someone made when they were a teenager? Does that depict their future as an adult in relationships?

[@johnnydi2231]

Can I just take a chance and ask everyone here.... Just HOW do you do it?! As in, when someone you really loved/trusted, and were with for a long time, has just left and ripped your heart out... And you have an obsessive mind, naturally. Where you have a difficult time controlling your thoughts, any way. HOW do you stop thinking about it every second, or feeling like you're physically bleeding inside, or stop replaying every second of every event and every word and every action of it all.... Or worrying about why they don't seem to even care, in spite of the fact that we both put our time, effort and affection into this thing for such a long time... I just don't know how to stop? I feel like I cannot control my own mind or my body's responses to it. And it's simply becoming too much to bear or handle. So I figured I'd just ask. Even knowing I may get a negative response for this. Thanks.

[@versachi187]

Dude, I feel you. Trust me when I say that most of the time it has nothing to do with you in regards to cheating. I had to come to terms with the fact it was just her character. Taking into account all her actions and how she moved in the world added up to an attention seeker that needed continuous external validation. Not sure what your specific situation entails or if it even pertains to cheating, but it sounds like you were willing to do what it takes to make it work. Remember it takes two people who are willing to accept responsibility for their part in making a relationship work. You deserve someone who’s going to show up for you even when things get rocky. Keep your head up man and just focus on making yourself a better version of you so when that next relationship blooms you’ll be able to give/receive a higher love😊

[@pekkalaitinen8769]

Understand intellectually that the person you mourn for does not exist, never did. You are sad because of the image of this person and the fictional imagined future of you two. You are not sad for losing what she actually was/is. That person you though she was never existed, she was not what you thought she was, but something else instead. Understand this and even though it hurts now, also understand the hurt WILL go away with time. Time is your friend. I've been through one TOUGH breakup from a 8 year relationship and currently going through another one from a year long relationship. Got cheated in both. Life sucks and then you die, but also gotta remember that when you do good things, universe tends to reward you with good things. Act in a way where you can have clear conscience after breakup, do the inner work and rise from the ashes. Don't become bitter, become better.