Getting All Your News from Cardi B - Rob Haze - Stand-Up Featuring

[@HaloHighlightz]

“You can’t spoil yourself” THIS 👏🏾 😂

[@Khadijah_time]

A. Bannister This guy is brilliant! The exercise DVD thing though... 😂😩👏🏾

[@HaloHighlightz]

@@Khadijah_time Right! If they started out big, you could root for them as they lost it lol

[@Khadijah_time]

A. Bannister 😂

[@CJCCBoi]

Clearly hes never worked hard enough to make enough money to spoil himself..

[@CJCCBoi]

*_Lifelong republicans_* Such as ; Martin Luther King Jr Malcolm X Jo Ann Robinson Harry Hay Rosa Parks W.e.b du bois James Bevel Muhammad Ali Frederick Douglas Just naming a few people you would most likely disagree with if they where alive today..

[@eden6862]

This is the type of dry humour I've been needing all my life

[@ericcarraway6821]

Eden ϟ eating my sister you got to check out Bill Burr, as well as well as the King of dry humor ,Mitch Hedburg.

[@chicawhappa]

@@ericcarraway6821 I love Mitch Hedberg 😊

[@O.tyJ.]

Eric Carraway hell yea

[@VinnySmiles01]

Eden ϟ dude is on point.

[@NoahHornberger]

the dryer the better, in general. But I think you have to be a dad to agree

[@thedarklight6752]

I like how this dude is just speaking high thoughts😂😂😂😂😂

[@MrPainterboy69]

The Dark Light I know right

[@justanameonyourscreen5954]

That's what I was thinking...

[@alexanderthegreatest2104]

Haha great minds think alike 😂

[@red7iris]

The Dark Light I’m high reading this comment so 😂😂😂

[@aja1108]

I was thinking of how random his jokes were. Didnt think high thought. Makes sense. I loved it

[@laurynh.603]

this literally just sounds like his inner thoughts, not a stand up show 😂 i love it

[@kingsaintides7227]

Lauryn Hill is that you

[@DrewD748]

They are his inner thoughts

[@keonnewilliams9511]

Ikr🤣🤣🤣👍

[@justame333]

Yesss 🤣🤣🤣

[@sandragrant3005]

Yeah!

[@tevingreen3908]

The dictionary definitely needs more confidence.

[@lanaaxfilms]

He said that once I saw this comment

[@BAnderson50gz]

Really though how in the hell did fucking selfie make it before ain't. 27 years old got corrected all my life knowing it was a word, then after decades they finally admitted it. BS

[@RealMexFoodShouldntGiveUDrrhea]

lol The only “modern” word I agree with adding is omnishambles and that’s only because of Malcolm Tucker.

[@Brando-Chicago]

The funny thing is Snoop made the word Bootylious in his 1st single what’s my name

[@kokolatte825]

@@Brando-Chicago that's what I always think of.

[@justinjames3760]

"Anybody using this word?" Let's kick it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@aaryahivaidya8289]

Honestly tho, that's such a good idea ngl

[@rochellethundercloud346]

Sure,we can kick it.

[@DAVIDTORRESANI]

Can I kick it?

[@truestdude]

@@DAVIDTORRESANI yes u can

[@DAVIDTORRESANI]

@@truestdude nice!

[@alittlethisalittle385]

"Why are we trying to make the dictionary bigger? Are we using this word? No, lets kick it." 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@FeliX-TobiYahs-C]

🤣

[@acre8218]

I loved this. Such a nice laid back routine. The crowd wasn't great for him but he seemed to enjoy himself.

[@jamesbael6255]

Pretty sure the audio levels make it sound a lot different in the video than it did in the club. Zero ambient noise, it seems laugh tracked.

@@jamesbael6255 if that's so, then they do this with all their vids/clips...cuz very similar reactions with every one that I've seen, even ones that are different crowds.

[@acre8218]

@@jamesbael6255 Yeah I thought that too, the laughing sounded unnatural

[@shiestysean]

They laughed at everything though. Was it a laugh track

[@DawnDuchess]

@ yeah the laughs almost sound edited in 🤣

[@perctivate]

"who told you to listen to a little kid" ouch

[@JAVONEETHEMOMMY]

Alex Buckle so many parents felt triggered when he said that LOL

[@hmcguin]

I see no lie.

[@fayepatrice1672]

It’s true though. Can’t blame the child because you decided to put aside common sense.

[@mcooks5755]

Truth hurts though. Haha

[@mr.carguy3161]

Parents angry with their kids for only wanting to do whatever they want... When all they ever do is let their kids do whatever they want!

[@Swnsasy]

"Man that girl is bootylicious" haha Yes something nobody ever says 🤣

[@stldweller]

Gotta give credit to SnoopDog for bootylicious 1992 "and them rhymes you were kicking was quite bootlicious" referring to Uncle Luke.

[@carl1095]

Yeah, I just say "Damn that girl's got a nice big ass"

[@hollysorensen1711]

I call my husband Bootylicious all the time because he has a big butt. 😄

[@Swnsasy]

Derrick Thomas ROFLOL damn it!! I forgot about that 🤣

[@aminam2220]

I came across this comment as soon as he said this..hhahha

[@ecj17cel]

Who else thought this was Jr from Blackish? I had to do a double take.. 😂😂😂

[@tupacflores5753]

For real lmao

[@candacemarks5070]

Only because all black people look alike. Lol

[@tupacflores5753]

@@candacemarks5070 that's the comment I was waiting for 😂

[@GinaJonesStillettoQueen]

@@candacemarks5070 all light skinned people look alike lol except Chris Brown 😂😂😂

[@Vincisomething]

I had to figure out why he looked familiar

[@alexisrosemusic]

"They're already in shape on the first disc..."😭😭💀💀💀😂😂😂

[@Microdosingyourvalidation]

“Yall made the internet!!” 😂😂😂

[@vikkorheel9966]

Big Facts

[@sense7074]

Didn’t really laugh, but, I had a smile from ear to ear the whole time.

[@lowlowseesee]

same

[@TeeSteezy]

yup that's how we do our LOLZ

[@allthingsjacksonvillefl-li7155]

Haha! Me too

[@hueyp9033]

Best description of this video

[@kimf.5409]

Me too!

[@PedroMelendez]

He's got great material, smooth delivery and funny. You can't ask for more.

[@donfuego3585]

I like this guy's personality. I could see him acting.

[@secorasimmons8284]

"What do you mean my toilet needs a step?"🤣

[@themediaphilechannel]

It’s a lot a pockets 😂😭

[@zacbigham3504]

This killed me

[@kidsister316]

that line had me lol-ing!

[@aminam2220]

As soon as. I saw this comment the skit came...lol

[@halluciongen3000]

😂😂😂

[@The.Golden.Door.]

"I dont know what ta tell ya?... Its a lotta lent" Lol

[@ClankTube]

It's like Ludacris and Waldo from Family Matters fused to do stand up comedy

[@freddiemontanez8461]

Clark Tube.,Man, he does look like Ludacris and Waldo.

[@themaggattack]

🤣

[@JeffWarren47]

@@freddiemontanez8461 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LOL. kzbin.info/www/bejne/oWbdgGpogLR1mKuV

[@s.n.9485]

Damn, A Waldo reference. Haven't heard from him in a while.

[@virgobubz]

Waldo?! Literally the first Waldo reference I've EVER come across!! Spot on! Well played, sir, well played.

[@Alright_3x]

Dude has the right vibe and outlook for his material and its amazing to see. Props man

[@dOVERanalyst]

I've to say, legit intelligent. Insightful. Entertaining....Didn't go rofl, but that's some great stuff I've never heard anything close to before!! Very nice.

[@markitamcnear4689]

GM! Definitely agree 😂😂! Bless up!

[@socialscientist1895]

The writing reminds me of Mitch Hedberg a bit. Totally different delivery tho.

[@Bmore2Htown]

Dude's got a ton of potential..and if I'm not mistaken, that was totally clean humor also

[@ekdaufin1485]

Actually a true point about the deceptive workout videos.

[@heyerikan]

E K Daufin yuup! Such a great observation.

[@VocalSpiritPresents]

Absolutely!

[@ColeSpeaks103]

Junior from blackish and Michael B Jordan had a baby?

[@BassMonsterTiff]

@@Mvvp2290 same tbh

[@Trapinnewyork44]

😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂👍🏿

[@AlexandreChar]

🤯

[@markitamcnear4689]

GM! Lit-er-al-ly can't deal w u right now 😂🤔😂👀! Bless up!

[@lowlowseesee]

damn good call

[@petegriswold]

Squatty potty is a goddamned revolution in pooping comfort

[@nicholasbyram296]

It changes the shape of my turds.

[@semi6544]

What! Did we even need a revolution in pooping comfort? Definitely first world problems.

[@stanstinnett1391]

Theyve squatted that way in Africa and Asia for the last thousands of years

[@MommyOfZoeAndLiam]

I have the poor man's squatty potty...my kids' step stool next to the sink. I looked up squatty potty it's like a $50 toilet stepstool! Mine was $6 and it folds up for storage and I don't look like a crazy person if I take it into the laundry room to reach the clothes in the bottom of the washing machine (I'm short, I practically have to climb in to get the last few socks and underwear on the bottom)!

[@CozyCornerDay]

As an African, easier and more comfortable to squat. Sitting on the toilet took a while to get used to when I migrated to a different country.

[@hmcguin]

This was good!!! I really enjoyed his set.

[@ImDallasGonzales]

Herbert McGuin reminds me a bit of Dave Chapelle

[@stevedoe1630]

Writing, great. Stage presence, confident & calm. Work it to your advantage.

[@asanitheafrofuturist]

"What's that?" "That's you!" 😂😂😂😂

[@priestmorrison6564]

Nice, solid, curseless PIECE!!!

[@thisisntsergio1352]

Good point. Dude didn't cuss at all.

[@ghostnoodle9721]

@@thisisntsergio1352 Most comedians curse, not because its funny, but because its how they actually talk.

[@davisdavis468]

@@ghostnoodle9721 Yeah I like clean comedy but I think people should recognize that. Stand up is informal so people are gonna talk naturally

[@ghostnoodle9721]

Davis Davis I always wondered if there was a crip trying comedy Yo nigga so I was like walking into a bar with the homies and some blunts and some bloods walked in so we smoked em out... Not with the blunts GOODNIGHT NEW YORK

[@gatajohnshot]

Every CC bit

[@ily2cc]

"Aw man it's a lot of pockets."

[@agonleed3841]

I'm with you on the exercise thing. I actually attempted that. Recording myself out of shape and routines to get in shape. I was doing well for about two weeks, then I just kept forgetting to record. I'm just not the type that ever records much. Lots of experiences where I literally had a camera on me, and still didnt record or take pictures.

[@trapmozart9217]

@@NKRomeo I don't either but you might regret when you old

[@zaracoleman6676]

@@NKRomeo what about ur profile pic?

[@Sunshine_Daydream222]

You mean like living in the moment? Whoa.

[@JeffWarren47]

@@zaracoleman6676 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LOL. kzbin.info/www/bejne/oWbdgGpogLR1mKuV

[@naikawederfoort5199]

I dig this guy. Totally simple and realistic. 😄

[@JeffWarren47]

@Dien M 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LOL. kzbin.info/www/bejne/oWbdgGpogLR1mKuV

[@drew_bot6825]

We got Michael Z Jordan

[@juicymiss87]

😂😂😂💀💀

[@red7iris]

I’m high so this kilt me 💀💀💀

[@kokolatte825]

In what universe does this guy look like Michael B Jordan?

[@everythingiseverything9920]

omg lol

[@miyaanderson5836]

kokolatte825 that’s what I’m trying to figure out this isn’t the first comment like this either lol

[@cheapthrilll6323]

I like the segway from "...start in to call it bootylicous." into "I'm so glad I don't have a face tattoo."

[@kafil407]

Cheap Thrilll *segue

[@WiredAl]

It's important to workshop your jokes but I respect the hell out of people who have this tight a delivery that's this integral to their routine. He totally made my day

[@joecobb1796]

That last joke the realest thing I ever heard haha

[@h.r.a5480]

True

[@Khadijah_time]

Joe Cobb IKR!

[@radio3976]

It's like Black Jerry Seinfeld 🤣

[@bumblebee5059]

Victor Gross well said 🤣😂

[@DonnaSnyder]

Bingo. But more interesting than Seinfeld scripts.

[@allthegoodonesweregone]

If Jayson Tatum told comedy!!🤔😂😂 Dude killed it tho, hopefully he goes far.

[@bvlad5215]

I thought it was Jayson Tatum at first glance.

[@whoknew5940]

Man, that exercise video idea was genius!😨

[@aja1108]

Word

[@swhalum]

Right?!?!

[@kimf.5409]

True!

[@VocalSpiritPresents]

Brilliant idea, indeed. I'll do it! Why not? I need to exercise anyway. Recovering from a car wreck and my channel needs content.

[@JeffWarren47]

@@VocalSpiritPresents 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LOL. kzbin.info/www/bejne/oWbdgGpogLR1mKuV

[@NYJWR07]

Semi coherent rambling and a decent hairline. I dig it

[@jaythompson2541]

This was great! Classic yet contemporary, smart yet common. All the best to you. Definitely sharing rn 👍🏽

[@vickyp4217]

5:45 the Millie rock SENT MEE

[@juicymiss87]

😂😂

[@first_class_fly]

Riiiiight I Don't Think They Caught That

[@JeffWarren47]

@@juicymiss87 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LOL. kzbin.info/www/bejne/oWbdgGpogLR1mKuV

[@tasha80mgr]

Omg, the mirror joke🤣🤣🤣🤣❤️❤️

[@tacotacotington3638]

Smiled the whole time. Great set! The last bit about the workout videos my favorite

[@Avatar013]

Dictionary needs to have more confidence! Hahahaha that's gold!

[@joshandabradford3144]

"Who told you to listen to a little kid?😂😂😂

[@Gotham_Outlaw]

Lmao this was actually pretty damn great. Especially the excercise bit

[@yup_thatsbri]

I was literally trying to get an eye booger out of my eye when he said that😂

[@kingsaintides7227]

Wash your hands

[@JeffWarren47]

@@kingsaintides7227 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LOL. kzbin.info/www/bejne/oWbdgGpogLR1mKuV

[@ankhor9252]

This guys brilliant. I want more!

[@nahmsain]

All I know is, Snoopy Doggy Dogg Used Bootylicious almost a decade before Destiny's Child, and it Snoop's version meant both the same and the opposite at the same time... Okurrrrrrrr?!?!

[@ThexDynastxQueen]

_"Okurrrrrrrr?!?!"_ Lol you know exactly how to get his attention xD

[@RRansomSmith]

LL Cool J used it in the FLAVA IN YA EAR remix also....

[@amandaphillips4344]

Nice 😎

[@kingsaintides7227]

@@RRansomSmith No he did not. He said and I quote, "Uh, blowticious/ Skeevee? Delicious Gimme cous cous, love me good Unh damn Hollis to Hollywood/but is he good? I guess like the jeans uh Flava like pralines/ Sick daddy,Nahmeeen?"

[@RRansomSmith]

@@kingsaintides7227 better go listen again

[@MaximumPasta]

Play at .75x to make him drunk.

[@AleahKCH]

User Name I thought he already was 🤪

[@jeremyrichardson5496]

.50x is even better!

[@lukemarquardt5771]

x1.25 makes it a little more fluid, I felt like my brain was tripping over the words, trying to go faster than he was speaking when at regular speed lol

[@JeffWarren47]

@@AleahKCH 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LOL. kzbin.info/www/bejne/oWbdgGpogLR1mKuV

[@ncoso3442]

No "F" word,and still funny as the 6th letter.

[@phillupjohnson7902]

No-one knows all the word's 😂 😂

[@Regimeshifts]

that was so funny for some reason

[@travisfaine1415]

This flows great.

[@redelgado99]

Jokes without cursing 👍🏾 I can share this with my family.

[@kingsaintides7227]

Yeah because they dont curse

[@Cpt.PickHard]

That dvd joke is a gazilion money idea

[@Drewcat07]

Nailed it!! Funny AF, Mr. Haze. Very talented!! Executed everything and kept the crowd rolling

[@rochellespencer7622]

U are really funny man! A real comic!

[@ottogreenjr.7857]

The mirror joked!! 🔥🔥🔥

[@rjrgjr]

Now this is hilarious. Timing is on point. Topics are fire.

[@DevanBrownProductions]

"Its a lot of pockets" 😭😂😆

[@zheahra]

I like him. Clean cut, speaks well, and relatable.

[@kingsaintides7227]

Speaks well 🤔

[@EssieBMusic]

This was funny! Loved it and it was clean 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@jkromes20]

That was a pretty clever set haha. I really enjoyed the exercise one too. I like that idea

[@JRichPNP]

Thank God for this. I needed this🤣🤣🤣

[@sophiadecubellis761]

The perfect belly laugh to end my night. Thank you!

[@johnicorn]

This guy has a lot of potential

[@deacon711]

Heard the Squatty Potty joke as I was using my Squatty Potty. This double decker was brought to you by Squatty Potty and extreme laughter.

[@BrooklynDaDon1]

He's adorable and funny

[@ninosimone]

CLEAN AND FUNNY COMEDY.. GOOD JOB

[@nokwethembamthembu1019]

Rob: oh man **milly rocks* Also Rob: incredible

[@nicoledamiata4810]

Never seen or heard of Rob before, but he’s fantastic and hilarious!!!! This was perfect 😂😂😂😂😂

[@dagrinde1]

Good material. Bit dry on the delivery but i laughed good stuff

[@NobleVagabond2552]

dagrinde1 I think that’s the style

[@kbs8586]

I think dry is his thing.

[@Khadijah_time]

dagrinde1 It’s literally part of why the routine is funny...🤦🏾‍♀️

[@JeffWarren47]

@@Khadijah_time 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LOL. kzbin.info/www/bejne/oWbdgGpogLR1mKuV

[@StormyFMelodies]

He was very funny I really enjoyed that 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@kevinfritts4750]

So nonchalant it’s funny. Meaning- he is spitting facts it’s funny 😄

[@melanyeboston151]

I never heard of him until I watched the 85 South Show. He's hilarious!!! I like his comedy style. I will be looking for more of Rob Haze

[@antoniogriffin7135]

🔥🔥💪💪Strong stand up game sir... Strong indeed.

[@kingofgames2679]

“What you see today? Aww man it’s a lot of pockets.” Lmao. I didn’t think that was gonna be funny but it worked.

[@DawnDuchess]

Had to hit the Like on the Windows 95 joke🤣

[@jesushoobastankchrist251]

"This ain't on me!" Best line ever.

[@dkiande]

The mirror joke is hilarious

[@veganpiranha3302]

david kiande The crowd is a bit dry

[@JeffWarren47]

@@veganpiranha3302 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LOL. kzbin.info/www/bejne/oWbdgGpogLR1mKuV

[@44lifecoco]

Definitely wanna see MORE of ROB HAZE 😂😂🙌💯

[@Mrbungleface0u818]

This guy is super funny. I'd like to see more of him

[@GRT87]

This was Gold! 😂😂😂

[@boneyardgrin2291]

That felt kind of early Dave Chappelle-ish to me. Well anyway, I liked it.

[@Khadijah_time]

Boneyard Grin 🎯

[@kyjw10]

Boneyard Grin sounds like young dave chapelle, looks like ludachris

[@muz108]

Very mitch hedberg-esque. High thought humor. Non-sequitor. Great stuff.

[@sicboi]

Yo that was really good. Dude going places.

[@panashejonga4258]

What's that 😂 that's you 😂😂😂

[@FreeAsABeast]

Didn’t curse once props for that 😂

[@scottsmith9192]

Man this shit is on point....well done

[@naufrage0]

Wow I wasnt anticipating much but dude killed it.

[@cgbodyauto7635]

Killed this set!

[@jeepz669]

Low key hilarious

[@zster8044]

High key

[@JeffWarren47]

@@zster8044 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LOL. kzbin.info/www/bejne/oWbdgGpogLR1mKuV

[@EvianReacts]

“ IM so glad I don’t have a face tat “ 🤣🤣

[@ihy_btw3597]

He got some good points there. The last one about the workout dvd was soooo good. They should make that to give us more confidence and alot more motivation.🤔

[@CC-si3cr]

He could easily pass as the doppelganger of Junior on Black-ish.

[@comedydilwala]

Nice comedy 😄😄😄😄 Nice job bro you makes me laugh Keep it plz stay connected 👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌

[@Tonyhouse1168]

Laughed so hard at “it’s a LOT of pockets!”

[@littlemrpinkness295]

I liked his deadpan delivery, just made things funnier.

[@demetriusmiddleton1246]

The dictionary needs more confidence! 🤣🤣🤣underrated joke