Getting Ready: How to Help Your Child Overcome School Refusal or School Phobia

[@irnaspigariol9163]

Thank you for this informative seminar, it was the most useful seminar that I have listened to on school refusal and I will implement these strategies with my school refusers.

[@aysha.humayun]

This lecture gives a good idea of the causes and a gold standard treatment.On a practical level it's not as easy as this and it may take a number of years of slow implementation of strategies once you have figured out what are the issues. Removal of previliges can be devastating for some kids but may work for others.

[@Sarahthompson2237]

I haven’t heard the program yet, but I agree. Taking away beloved items as a motivator produces the opposite effect for my child. You can’t change negative behavior with negative discipline. But on the other side of that is: what the HELL will help

[@A.S2400]

THIS video is about to save lives in my house. Thank you from the bottom of my heart !!!!

[@HenryWaltonJones]

Our 8 year old was always an anxious child but we never had an issue with school refusal.She was always happy to go in in the morning but since Covid,she has missed 6 months of school,only 3 of those months did the school set up daily Zoom calls.Since going back she's really regressed in herself and now we have a daily battle to get her into school.Heartbreaking.

[@A.S2400]

It IS really hard. I’m sure covid brought this to lots of kids. My kid already had school refusal. Mathnasium helped my child catch up in math. Some schools offer tutoring. I try and focus on just getting TO the building, and grades will come as they are, but staying out only makes my child get further behind. Tough cycle to break I know.

[@HenryWaltonJones]

@@A.S2400 Thanks for the reply.Shes going to start Play Therapy in the next week.Fingers crossed.

[@lisam6727]

This video is very useful, covering all areas surrounding school refusal

[@gmansard641]

In first grade I was fine for the first few months, but by November I suddenly couldn't stand going to school. No one considered that I was just exhausted. My introversion was part of this, and it was the overly long days that completed the scene. From leaving home at 7:30, an hour bus ride in an overheated bus full of screaming kids through unpaved rural Iowa, then a longer bus ride in the afternoon in a more overheated bus with louder screaming kids (compounded by my motion sickness) and I wasn't back home until nearly 5:00. That's a 9+ hour day for a 6 year old kid.

[@aysha.humayun]

So little is done to understand how different things are exhausting for some people and how the school day can be made more tolerable for children.

[@gmansard641]

@@aysha.humayun No! It's good for them! Make 'em work! Of course that's not serious. Even today (50 years later) I can't stand long days, I need to break work into smaller sections, with plenty of rest and solitude. When I was 6 I could not have explained that, all I could say was I was afraid to go to school but had no idea why, nothing bad was happening to me: no bullying, no abusive teachers etc, was actually advanced academically. But I hated it.

[@aysha.humayun]

@@gmansard641 We are trying our best but l guess that best is different for everyone.Each family has a set of strengths that need to be explored and used ( and celebrated) .We have our weaknesses which we need to manage to minimise the damage and learning to live with those,like you said regular breaks if one gets tired.

[@gosia1575]

I liked this seminar, it was very informative. I would just like to point out that you must be sensitive to your child's needs and not pursue the full day school goal at all costs. A parent child relationship is always a priority before anything else. If your child struggles at school or struggles socially and comes home to a cold environment where he is given no attention to make the day boring..where is he supposed to go for support?

[@irnaspigariol9163]

The 'cold environment' is only for the duration of the school day, so that it is boring for the child to be at home.

[@Plasmafox]

There is an enormous, glaring blind spot. All of this assumes that school is a positive, or at worst neutral place, and the child's refusal is based on disorder, distortion, disobedience etc. But for neurodivergent children, especially if they are restricted to special ed, school can be a landscape of torture- ABA-based programming, traumatic practices like seclusion rooms and long term social isolation, and even open violence in the form of punitve restraint. Every school and pediatric care facility has a policy saying "we don't use seclusion and restraint for punishment" and every single one of them actually does, by framing resistance to abuse and neglect as violent outbursts which justify violent control. I know, I was there. *Step #0 in addressing a child with special needs refusing to go to school: make sure they're not being fucking abused!*

[@75asmaiqbal]

I think your webinar is based on the book school refusal by Christopher Kearney

[@A.S2400]

She mentions that. I wish I was still in Las Vegas, I would take my child to him.

[@lizzytreks696]

What about when your child is special needs has been having school refusal since he started TK during that time the teacher said he was a mute. I told her no they diagnosed with selective mute. Before the year ended he got an assessment ever since then severe autism and intellectual disability. Now a tween he is bigger and stronger .. I feel he gets anxiety. I've been telling them since to the previous years. Now the school is blaming absences for not having met goal. But they don't know how bad it gets.

[@LolaBathory]

You could try to get a 504 plan in the school. It might help push the school to help your kid instead of judging your kid harshly. Also, it’s super helpful and important to get your kid a psychiatrist whether over zoom calls or in person if they feel comfortable. I really hope things get easier for you.

[@nonaaame550]

This was a god send

[@Mrshafner39]

I need help my son has sever anxiety and ODD and hates school so bad he cry’s so bad he pukes he poops a lot it’s so much stress on him it breaks my heart ... his school Text me to grab him forcefully out of the car and bring him to the school every day

[@serenityhipnopartoqueretar4327]

Oh, It breaks my heart! Is clearly that your child school do not have any training about helping kids in disstres and very probably that may be the main reason why your little just don't want to have nothing to do with that place. Please, hear your kid, her mental health is lot more important than school at this moment.

[@Mrshafner39]

Agree it breaks my heart so bad

[@gosia1575]

My son in kindergarten started to have severe anxiety issues going to school, he started to go to the washroom up to 35x a day. The school and doctors recommended not to take a break but I took him out for 3 weeks. Hi symptoms stopped and we started a gradual gentle and timed return to school..after 2 weeks he was back and all good. Please please listen to your children and their needs before others.

[@shadavid2719]

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