Girl Dinner is More Nuanced Than You Think

[@Inky1313Starlight]

I've been doing these for forever but calling them depression meals. It's very much a "some food in my body is better than none at all" sort of thing.

[@majorgeneralmalaise]

I call them "struggle meals" but same

[@hollydawn07]

I call these “anxiety attack” meals bc it’s hard to cook, I don’t want hot food or anything with too much complex flavor. So I try to make sure I have a fiber filled carb, a protein, and some fat, but make it fun. Like Triscuits, cheese, a little fruit, some bland meat, with some sparkling water maybe. Mustard if I can handle it 😂

[@aeroxoxo]

I call them "broke college student dinners" it's usually ramen or pizza pockets...

[@apriljk6557]

​@@aeroxoxo hey if you do the microwave bowl ramen, throw in some baby carrots and corn after you add water...it's easy as heck and bomb. And it makes it a bit healthier.

[@aeroxoxo]

@@apriljk6557 I usually add corn but I'll try baby carrots too next time :0

[@lilafliesrockets]

Cannot even describe the level of discomfort that the duvet covered pizza boy dinner made me feel

[@PixelCattt]

Even tho this comment is 7 months ago, i agree.

[@nailartnoob7871]

@@PixelCatttme too, and on the white bed!!

[@angelacurtis6938]

I legit shuddered

[@Archiver_Studio]

@@nailartnoob7871 As a man, well, I'm genderfluid but I qualify, I would like to say That man is a f*cking animal, what the hell is wrong with him?!

[@ethedragon4069]

I've been having girl dinners for years I call them depression meals

[@maurauders_obsessed1076]

That’s so real and also me Much love to you 🫶

[@lordskeletor481]

Yeah, when I first saw this trend I was like "tiktok discovered depression meals"

[@DaddyMoogie]

Same tbh

[@Roozyj]

Yeah, the moments I ate these kinds of 'girl dinner' were at the moments that my anxiety was preventing me from eating, because my throat was so tense. Then I just eat peanuts, because there's fats and vegeterian proteins in them. Pretty good for something you can all but swallow whole, but not great if you have to live off of them for more than a day ^^'

[@apriljk6557]

yeah, especially the sleep one. I honestly thought it was about being broke at first. Being broke and/or depressed definitely isn't great for your health either.

[@isabellabroome7895]

looking at girl dinner as eating something when you would've eaten nothing instead has been surprisingly beneficial for me. realizing that i can just throw a bunch of random things onto a plate and call it a meal has been helpful on days where dinner felt too overwhelming.

[@frogonwall]

I'm glad you brought up the neurodivergent "girl dinner". The whole video I kept thinking "damn this just sounds like my usual everyday autism meals"

[@aarasko]

SAME

[@cata0rostika]

Indeed

[@markipliertrash1562]

SAME HERE

[@cecilie8420]

SAME

[@lany4618]

I’m so glad it was brought up because I’m the same lmao

[@lifeisajurni5550]

I’ve been seeing so many people talk about the string cheese/strawberries/hard boiled egg dinner and how it’s disordered eating. And I’m losing my mind over it because I thought that was a great meal 😭

[@Handle1298]

It's healthy. You're getting protein, calcium, vitamin C from it and if you're still hungry, just eat more of it.

[@nataschaxe]

I would gobble it up because I like them all

[@spacebugz4317]

I think it’s the portion size that causes concern cuz it’s honestly kinda small

[@shanenanigans27]

That portion size is a midday SNACK, not a whole meal.

[@lazyperfectionist3978]

I mean it would be a nice healthy meal had it been a small bowl of strawberries rather than the pitiful amount that had been put on the plate. Those hardboiled eggs are doing some heavy lifting (a softboiled egg would be even more nutritious and tasty since it has comparatively more nutrients compared to the hardboiled egg). It's more the portions rather than the ingredients themselves

[@Bernie_is_eepy]

I’m a “shoving shredded cheese into my mouth at 2 am while hunched over like a gremlin” type of boy dinner

[@edwater.3]

real

[@ava.f12]

literally just did that a few minutes ago

[@Esseyx-420]

What my mom sees at 2 am:

[@wybob6508]

OMG I DO THAT TOO

[@St4rry_Nightxx]

SAME

[@shadesofvioletcat]

My favorite aspect of this trend is the normalization and de-shaming of not fulfilling societal expectations. Not being able to feed yourself a “proper” meal can make you hold a lot of shame but everyone goes through rough patches ❤. Also, there’s nothing inherently wrong with having informal meals every once in a while just because you want to

[@cma.ksiezycowa]

Yes! I thought the same but couldn't put it into words

[@alanarama]

Yeah one half is intuitive eating which is amazing eat what you want and what your body wants and then it creeps into more problematic areas on the other end of it which is just normalising disordered eating.

[@anisundecided]

As someone with ARFID, whenever I saw the 'girl dinner' joke I thought it was funny because of how relatable it was. But I can also see how it might promote unhealthy behaviors instead of just joking about it. Thanks for the video, love it as always!

[@jellsies]

Yeah, I also have ARFID too. I get some of my safe foods and call it my "girl dinner".. more like non-binary dinner, cuz I'm non-binary..

[@hiitsme2814]

@@jellsies literally same .

[@thatcreepyfangirlstalkerch3572]

I had never heard of ARFID before this. Now I'm 99% sure I have it (it'll be 100 once I'm diagnosed.)

[@sos_jess]

@jellsies @hiitsme2814 same same

[@zbcrazy]

Same! Do I like a good, full, delicious dinner? Absolutely. But sometimes, without warning, that same thing I love just makes me gag. I was eating a very nice sandwich the other week and the last bite suddenly flipped a switch and almost made me puke, I had to chug my drink just to get it to go down. So out comes the “child” food lol.

[@emilyk3825]

Another thing that promotes disordered eating? Poverty! 🙌🏼 These meals also look familiar to me as someone who has had to put together plenty of poor girl dinners. And yep, I lost a lot of weight during the times of intermittent financial trouble in my life. It’s interesting to see it be a TikTok meme on the less harmful end, to “calorie control” on the more sinister end. It’s a different perspective being someone who maybe wouldn’t have an “eating disorder” if I could afford not to. It really started a debate for me of like are eating disorders for privileged people? People who are hungry against their will due to something out of their control normally would like to be able to be full. Kind of interesting to think about.

[@animeotaku307]

Not just financially. Cooking takes time and energy lots of people don’t have after a long day of work.

[@RainbowNanaki]

Gosh, YES! I'm in a really shitty life situation atm, and my meals for the next few days are going to consist of a chopped up and microwaved apple, since I'm getting physically sick from instant noodles. Is it healthy? No, absolutely not. But I am at least putting food in my body, and sometimes just that alone needs to be celebrated as an achievement. I think the saddest part of it all is that even though I will regularly skip eating entirely for a day or two, I remain overweight, which leads to people saying things like that I should just eat less. It's a horribly vicious cycle, and I wish I had the money and mental energy to eat healthily.

[@ginbug7061]

I always felt like the point of girl dinner was that it was just a bunch of random scraps that you threw together lazily instead of cooking a full on meal- and that its okay. It was super relatable, and made me feel more secure about those times I do just eat random cheeses/meats/fruits whatever, because I cant be bothered to cook. Personally I think judging someone for eating a small meal, when you have no clue what their lifestyle or diet is, could only prove to drive them further into insecurity. This is all to say, I liked Girl Dinner a lot more when it was a relatable joke and not a tool for people to push disordered eating/ judging what others eat.

[@roxassora2706]

Yeah. There's even a compilation that shows the fun side.

[@madpie5147]

tysm for pointing that out. Luckily I don't have an ED, but I do have some insecurity around food that started *because* people kept commenting on how little I ate in front of them or how small my portion size was (because packing a lunch is difficult and school food sucked, I usually just ate after i got home) I know they were coming from a place of concern, but it got to the point where I still struggle to eat in public because of anxiety :(

[@Waywardwindfall]

I think the trend started as girls don’t have time/energy to feed themselves after all the work is done. That leftover mentality of feed everyone first. Do everything for everyone first. It was fun and relatable. But just like everything women enjoy, diet culture came in with all his followers, and now those of us who had carbs, fats, and grains in our girl dinner are just being pushed to eat less. If you only want small portions and that’s what your body wants that’s great. But it’s not accurate to assume all women eat the portions their bodies want BECAUSE the idea that women are supposed to eat less. I fail to believe that women are only meant to be caregivers. You think before electricity woman just cooked and cleaned? Who milked the cows? Who harvested the family garden? Who mended clothes? You think they let a strong back go to waste 😂😂 no. Women had manual and emotional labor. They just didn’t have rights to manage that labor. Women need to eat. As much as men.

[@ssnowstarr4985]

yeah, agreed. for example, the tiktok with the cheesestick, 2 eggs and strawberries was like, yeah, that's pretty healthy and an average meal for me. overeating is something i struggle with

[@celestewoodworth5627]

I've been having girl dinner for years, but I just called it scavenging. I have a hard time making time to eat (I'll be too busy to eat, finish my task, and then not feel hungry), and it caused a few problems in the last year or two which lead to me planning my day around a minimum of two meals. Hearing about girl dinner was kind of a positive for me, like a "Hey, you aren't alone in not always being able to eat well, what matters is that there is sustenance."

[@lienepoetje]

The girl dinner trend removed some of the shame I feel around my non healthy habits. I'm autistic and I tick a lot of the boxes for Arfid, so eating is really hard for me, especially making and eating full meals. I now feel less shame about me eating a cucumber and some cheese for dinner because I know other people do it too. So instead of not eating because I'm embarrassed, I do eat my little neurodivergent girldinner!

[@savhixx]

I’m happy for you man, keep it up your doing great:)

[@markipliertrash1562]

Proud of you!! ❤❤❤

[@Jaylex_005]

Hey, be proud of yourself for eating anything. Listening to hunger cues is the first step ^^

[@nailinthefashion]

Nourish that bawd

[@antoporoto]

that's great!! no food is worse than not being fed!!

[@markotnanatkapietruszki]

As an anorexia survivor I can definitely see this trend validating my past dinners consisting of half a cup of youghurt or a cucumber.

[@endercist]

I feel that calling my little safe foods "girl dinner" makes me a lot happier to eat. It just feels like a fun thing. My autism makes it so I struggle with eating, so thinking about eating a little "girl dinner" makes it easier. Every time I hear the sound, it's like a switch in my brain to make myself a girl dinner! It's been oddly helpful!

[@Emsullivannn]

SAME OMG IM SO GLAD IM NOT ALONE

[@courtneyisaseagull]

That's really lovely to hear! I struggle with eating as well, so anything that helps if a blessing! ❤

[@dinosaurs_rule]

I'm autistic too

[@hollyroseXOX]

❤

[@stinegregersen6553]

SAMEEE!!! I see girl dinner as when I don’t have energy to create an elaborate meal and I just wanna eat chicken and fries 🥹

[@UselessPopee]

personally i love girl dinner, i see it as a lazy food pile that’s better than forgetting to eat anything. And it’s fun !

[@erinbess]

to me girl dinner is just “i live in an ingredient household and don’t want to cook a full meal”, i guess i never really saw it about eating super small portions and more about eating a variety of ingredient foods 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@alliea3707]

Hey neurodivergent law student here 12:10 girl dinner has actually made me feel better and find meals to eat quickly in between studying cuz I can actually find something to eat without feeling bad oftentimes I need quick tv dinners or snacks to eat or I’ll forget altogether due to stress but the idea that I’m not alone plus others examples of girl dinner has gotten me to expand my palate and eat healthier surprisingly

[@TarotLadyLissa]

As a 40-year-old woman, I've always called this kind of eating "Depression Dinner" or "Sad Supper"! lol

[@gibbygibbygibby7237]

sad supper 😂😂 i was definitely eating sad suppers but i didn’t have a name for them

[@Saucystitch]

i will now refer to it as sad supper i love this so much

[@sammichbread]

SAD SUPPER IS BRILLIANT. stealing that thank you lol

[@kariissmol9172]

Hm, calling it girl dinner in your head for a while might take some negative connotations away, have you tried that?

[@ruffbun]

Honestly I love calling it "girl dinner." My wife and I both have horrible executive dysfunction, and there's just something so comfortingly silly in calling sleep or cold hashbrowns and a leftover sip of coffee "girl dinner" rather than a depression meal. I also feel like "girl" in this trend is used much like "girlie," which is gender neutral for many now. "Girl dinner" has nothing to do with being a girl (as I am agender) and everything to do with recontextualizing some symptoms I'm embarrassed about by being able to laugh about it with other mentally ill people online lol

[@enchantedsiyoon]

I get myself ‘girl dinner’ for almost every meal BECAUSE I am autistic and have adhd, I have safe foods and am generally sensory sensitive. Honestly I love the trend but I understand people being worried about it

[@QUEERVEEART]

same same sameeee

[@greysunscreatives]

As a person who is none girl left beef let me add that I truly feel that girl dinner for me is taking power back- I am too tired and I have ADHD, and sometimes, I do want a disembodied charcuterie board for dinner- society implies I should cook, eat healthier, provide for others. To me, girl dinner is rebellious! Taking back the power to feed myself however I want with no expectation!

[@cb4017]

Yes ❤

[@TheScaredLittleScholar]

as someone with mental health issues who loves to cook but can’t always find it in himself to do so, girl dinner makes me feel so much better about what I eat on a daily basis. instant ramen and a protein bar isn’t a struggle meal, it’s ✨girl dinner✨, and I think that’s beautiful.

[@ana_d_73]

Sometimes I have a chocolate bar for breakfast and call it a "Dessert First Day". Follow it up with some nice coffee or fancy tea because days like this usually come after serious stress periods and a treat is deserved.

[@TheScaredLittleScholar]

@@ana_d_73 that’s such a good idea!!! I’ve been in a haze for the last few days, might try that this morning

[@Rab1d-K9]

I call it depression dinner, or sadness supper. :/

[@ganjagoddess420]

@@TheScaredLittleScholarI feel it, eating is so fun and enjoyable but I’ve lost joy in life. That generally includes eating or anything that would regularly make me content. Cooking everything homemade used to be fun now I just wanna sit in the comfort of my creature den and eat my vegan nuggies til I die. Hopefully all goes well for those that read this thread

[@felid-files]

Yep. My depression meals have now been rebranded as 🎶nOn-BiNaRy DiNnEr🎶.

[@1cornicon679]

i saw a few comments also say it helped them embrace eating foods they actually enjoyed. not because they were told certain foods were 'fattening' or had too many calories, but just because they liked the taste/texture/experience or any other reason. for me personally, i'm finally in a place where i can buy my own groceries. it's nice to make a plate of a little of all of my favorite foods since there's nobody else here to tell me not to. i mean i also do it because cooking/preparing food is too much for me mentally, but still

[@CloverEleven]

Ok, but like, I really relate with the original concept here, before it was bastardized. It's been a joke in my household for years that I tend to just "eat ingredients". I never thought it was unusual and now I know it isn't. (Also I'm literally eating a bag of dry egg noodles while typing this.)

[@reckless_herb]

i love to cook but sometimes plain ingredients do just hit the spot

[@chappellroanmemes]

@@reckless_herbjust like onlyjayus’s advice (yes I know she said a slur but I think this is still good advice) which is basically just eat mustard, ham, cheese, and bread separately instead of a sandwich when you’re sad

[@markipliertrash1562]

@@reckless_herbSo true

[@ana_d_73]

My parents have been ragging me about this since I was a teen. If I have to cook for just me it's a combination of snacks. Dinner is a bowl of dry cornflakes and a glass of almond milk, a can of peas and carrots and two boiled eggs with salt, white rice and a spoon of peanut butter out of the jar, salty popcorn and apples, cheese and crackers with carrot and cucumber sticks. I can cook and eat actual food for other meals, but dinner for me has to be easy and crunchy.

[@dakki.dreamer1539]

make sure to drink lots of water with dry noodles so you don’t dehydrate!

[@kayladyeann3306]

My girl dinner was about to be a red bull… but you have inspired me. Now it includes pretzels and hummus.

[@gh0stly_retr048]

As someone relapsing with an ED...i totally get how some people will see this and want to eat super little and be a "girl" but tbh some of them i dont see a problem with at all as most of them are just funny and lighthearted.

[@saturn-sends-hugs]

The way I actually started SOBBING when you brought up ARFID linked to neurodiversity???? I've never seen someone bring it up so casually as a valid difficulty to have, let alone just know about it, and I hope you know it absolutely made my day (and made me cry lol). This trend is definitely validating for me at least as a way of reminding myself that eating something is better than nothing lol, so I'm super glad you brought it up :)

[@fevre_dream8542]

My ADHD stimulants can make it really hard to eat sometimes, my "girl dinner" is usually protein shakes or tiny amounts of food that I can eat over time without overwhelming my stomach. I can see why the "girl dinner" trend is popular among neurodivergent people as well as those with disabilities that make the effort of cooking and cleaning for every meal exhausting. BUT I also see the downsides mentioned in the video. It's a complex issue for sure.

[@bubblelubblekitten8976]

I’m in the same boat, I often say that I tend to “eat like a toddler” because it’s much easier for me.

[@miss1of2]

My partner (we're both ADHD) does BJJ three times a week and if I didn't have to make he eats well those nights (he cooks when no BJJ) *girl dinner* would be the norm... I was really happy last night when he offered to stop for food on his way home cause I really didn't felt like cooking... I had a rough week at work...

[@fevre_dream8542]

@@miss1of2 I do judo, actually :D martial arts is such a good way to turn ADHD into pure focus. All you have to do is focus on one thing: don't get pummeled by your opponent. The clarity that happens when faced with that is something I chase all the time. Sorry you had a bad week, hope things look up soon.

[@holorainduck8569]

I’ve been struggling to eat enough since I was diagnosed and medicated for ADHD. It’s really too bad, the medicine helps so much but it makes food so unappealing

[@baeeeeeecallahan]

I’m a neurodivergent trucker, sometimes I forget to eat. But! I’ve got a little post it note taped up on a cubby that says, ‘gorl dinner’ and that’s definitely helped me remember to just have something to eat.

[@madixxoo]

2:27 The girl dinner jingle you used in this video is proof that there were two very tangible sides to this trend. Karma’s versions featured dinners that were very robust and chaotic, but there was also a “high brow,” something that would play at a fancy ball sounding version of the jingle (that, to my knowledge, was actually made first) that featured the more dainty meals that veered into ED territory, then the ED-ish TikToks bled into Karma’s audio too. Algorithms are interesting.

[@phoenixfritzinger9185]

What about the version that kinda sounds “millennial” like that’s the best way I can describe what that version sounded like

[@chocomelo454]

karma made the high brow one too - her video featured what I'm pretty sure is similar to one of those bowls you'd order at a chipotle? I mean, looks like normal food. burrito without the actual burrito? and carrots.

[@madixxoo]

@@phoenixfritzinger9185 YES I think we’re talking about the same one lmao

[@madixxoo]

@@chocomelo454 yeah I know the version you’re talking about, it’s in the video. There was ANOTHER version of this that wasn’t featured in this video that Karma didn’t make that I believe may have been made before her audios. Karma’s, imo, are better though lol

[@cucamongaphilips]

I was laughing so hard when I heard what "girl dinner" was because that's what we called "fending for yourself night" in our house. It's been going on since our kids all ended up with different food likes and aversions, and it was pretty much impossible to make a meal that everyone could eat. And I definitely didn't have the spoons to cook five separate meals. lol So I would just make sure the littlest one(s) had their dinner taken care of and everyone else snacked on what they liked (obviously I monitored a little to try to make sure they were getting nutrition).

[@truecenter9159]

As a guy with ARFID, I usually just accept that conversations about eating disorders tend not to include me, and sometimes thats ok obviously. That being said, it was really nice to hear you address the nuance in this and I really appreciate it!

[@eikirby]

Right it made me so happy

[@Mothcat.]

I’m someone with arfid too and food is a struggle lol. It feels nice to be seen and included as it is an eating disorder that is overlooked

[@emmaoof3335]

i have arfid too and all my meals have been “girl dinners” !!

[@emofurryboyfriendasmr]

im a gut with afrid (alone with a binge/purge cyclel nd i fully understand you :( its really shitty and I'm sorry you're left out

[@paulinahafer7185]

I never heard of ARFID before. I think that might be me, too 🤔

[@ceaslug9791]

Very happy you mentioned how AFRID plays into the girl dinner trend. Seeing other people eat what I do makes me feel less hateful towards myself when I can’t function enough to eat. It makes me feel less like a failure, and makes me proud I ate *something* rather than nothing. Even if it was just half a croissant and a Fanta.

[@Shindai]

I hired a nutritionist to help me improve my eating a few years ago and I credit her with actualising my eating disorder. She wanted me to change my diet way too much and way too fast, saying I should strive to combine ingredients to make a meal. But not all food is supposed to touch. Or other practical concerns, such as veg having different texture when it's cold from when it's hot, so mixing veg on my plate can cause problems if I'm only in a picky mood. Also gravy congeals so I have that in a bowl to the side. It takes a bunch more washing up than just having it all on a plate but I eat it more reliably. A single big meal with everything in one place on one plate is like, an event. A few dishes of smaller portions that I can pick at? That'll keep me fed for hours.

[@cloudyskyz2237]

A nutritionist literally needs nothing but a high school diploma to call themselves a nutritionist. Try a dietician if you’re wanting to do some sort of diet. They’re medically trained

[@naomiseadragon2676]

I feel like that nutritionist wasn't really considering you in the process; a good nutritionist/dietitian should individualize the process to maximize the success of the client's goals. If you work better with smaller meals, that's perfectly fine as long as you try to get all your food groups in throughout the day.

[@amanda4313]

A nutritionist/dietician is not a therapist, you need to pursue your health from a wholesome integrated way, so should seek out a practice with both services. We shouldn't expect dietetics specialists to be well-versed in mental health/mental illness symptoms you may have that are associated with food.

[@Entomology314]

I had a similar problem. I was diagnosed with ARFID, and my nutritionist wanted me to move too fast. I was still in the process of gaining weight, and I still had to eat giant proportions to keep ahead of my metabolism. I had to eat six meals of very high calorie foods a day to get to a healthy weight. It was not fun. My nutritionist wanted me to broaden my diet while I was going through the process of gaining weight. Let’s just say it wasn’t a success. I found much more success in learning to understand how my brain processes food, and what order to eat foods to make eating more enjoyable. I used to save the “best foods” for last, and when I got to them, I would just be so exhausted I wouldn’t be able to enjoy anything. Just avoiding circumstances like that saved my life.

[@HighAsHeckPriestess]

I use one of them baby plates with the different spaces for each food when I feel like eating a big meal. For the most part I just eat a little bit here and there from different food groups, and take a multivitamin if I don't eat veggies or fruit.

[@ameliesimpson9109]

I have OCD and girl dinner is something I have relied on since I was little. It helps me because I have sensory issues and my OCD often prevents me from eating full meals sometimes, and with many safe foods all on a plate, I’m able to feel comfortable and fed.

[@averj8959]

During my ED recovery my stomach would physically hurt and sometimes I could only have little snacks throughout the day - when I saw the girl dinner trend I felt seen lol

[@skh4ppy]

For me personally, the trend really opened my eyes to realize that my eating habits aren't normal. Like no it's not okay that I have just buttered noodles for dinner most nights. It also made me feel less alone in finding out i have an eating disorder.

[@TheBookCryptid]

Just a thought on the TikTok showing the girl having sleep for girl dinner: I laughed at that one because that was my situation about 10 years ago. I had a very demanding job that truly paid almost nothing. I had enough to buy pet food for my cat and gas for my car but not much else a lot of the time, so usually I just had sleep for dinner. I think another aspect of girl dinner is socioeconomic; such as: I can’t afford food right now so my girl dinner is an old apple I found in the fridge and some chip crumbs. I’ve definitely been there before so just wanted to throw that out! And before anyone drags me, I know anyone can experience financial hardship! I was just speaking as a woman, that’s all!

[@deelistdaisy]

That one reminded me of when my mom would tell me "You can't be hungry if you're asleep" as a kid.

[@alexwyatt2911]

I *really* dislike preparing food and cleaning up after a meal. Years ago, I found the tasks completely intolerable (probably because I had two jobs and no time/energy) and I didn’t have the money to just order in food. So, instead of enduring the work of preparing and cleaning up after a meal, I would just go to sleep lol. Again, this was years ago. I’m no longer working two jobs and I’ve learned to (mostly) tolerate the work necessary to prepare and clean up after meals.

[@InkasaurusRexx]

As someone who lives for my comfort and safe foods.. I appreciate you taking the time to talk about neurodivergent individuals. It was really hard growing up with people not understanding that I couldn't just walk to the fridge and eat whatever was there. My "pickiness" wasn't because I didn't want to eat the food my family made, it was because I couldn't. The very thought gave me so much anxiety and aversion. It made my family believe that I was just being rebellious and a bratty kid/teen. Even with ADHD, its super hard to just cook for myself sometimes. I appreciate that more and more people are understanding and speaking out about this.

[@honeylemon774]

I like girl dinner being about lazy meals, stuff you put together when you don’t feel like cooking. It’s funny and relatable. I do see how it’s harmful when it’s about not eating or hardly eating, that’s not girl dinner. That’s just disordered eating. Girl dinner should still be filling, just lazy. Also I don’t think it’s that deep when it comes to the name. I think they called it girl dinner because they were a girl, not because women are expected to have small meals.

[@Waywardwindfall]

My thought exactly. Cheese, meats, and breads legit fill you up.

[@DavidTheBaker]

The editing 🙌🏾

[@-garbage-]

Oh shit wsp my guy

[@minkakemi]

When the trend started they were all I don't feel like dirtying up my kitchen kinda dinners, like, bag of crisps, canned tuna, an apple and call it a day, but they progressed quite quickly into ED fields

[@tobers_is_lost]

as a neurodiverse sinner, i really appreciate you bringing up how it affects people like me! i have adhd, so i often struggle with executive dysfunction and a hard time registering if/when i'm hungry. i eat "nonbinary dinners" probably way more than i should, but like you said: eating something is better than eating nothing.

[@absinthe-crow]

As a young adult who is recovering from anorexia, the discussion of girl dinner would have helped me months ago. I wound up hospitalized back in April due to malnutrition and had a pretty bad bout of seizures because of it. If you won't take it from a nutritionist- take it from me. Your body cannot function if you do not eat. Any food is better than no food, no matter what it is. Girl dinner is a *great* option once you have that realization moment that you do have a problem. Small foods in small, manageable portions can help you gain back the ability to eat foods without throwing your body out of equilibrium. And as a reminder for those who need it and do not know, going from not eating at all/eating very little to eating full meals and snacks multiple times a day is something your body cannot physically handle. Be gentle to your body and take things slow. Recovery is a long process, but its possible.

[@AnnamarieForcino]

congrats on your recovery!!! that takes a lot of strength and resilience. you should be very proud of yourself

[@the_mycelial_heart]

As an AuDHD person with intermittent depression and also multiple energy-limiting chronic illness, girl (nonbinary) dinner is so much of what I eat, and honestly helps me avoid slipping back into disordered eating behaviour so much. A little of a lot of different things can add up to a pretty balanced and sizeable meal. And even on days when it’s not enough food, it’s way better than the alternative of no dinner. When it’s charcuterie minus the board, our household calls it shitty charcuterie (though often it’s not even that shitty). Or toddler lunch, because toddlers basically eat smaller portions of “girl dinner” a lot of the time. Also “depression meals” when it is particularly sad. But still food!

[@softcrow7]

As someone who has arfid I find this trend quite relatable and comforting in a sense, because it shows that it's normal to once in a while be " lazy" and eat something quick and comforting without the need to gather willing to make meals yourself ( which can be very hard for me sometimes especially during panic attacks of depressive episodes) so that's nice to have some validation from folks who don't deal with eating disorder 🦇🐤 and also it's mostly just funny as hell to watch

[@elleinvestigates]

As an autistic old lady who has been given the most side eye over my food choices, I’m here for it! I gave up on the “traditional meal” a long time ago. It stresses me out. An entire plate full of food? Hot food on a regular basis? I don’t like those things. I’m content to visit the kitchen 5-8 times a day for a snack and constantly drink water. Even a plate in general can make me feel like it’s a big deal and I’m over it. It’s just what works for me, I eat enough, and I don’t have to feel stressed about everyone’s opinions about it

[@teileedino7065]

I’ve been diagnosed with ARFID and when you brought it up it genuinely made me tear up, I’ve never heard someone who wasn’t in that community talk about it and I was really awesome, thank you for bringing awareness for a really underrepresented ED

[@sleepyhollowo]

100% nailed it on the head, i’m an autistic ADHD woman who struggles so much with executive disfunction especially when it comes to food, i have not used my oven or stove at ALL in the 3 years i’ve been living on my own. And according to that definition i have ARFID as well😅

[@lulumolloy]

I'm autistic so I love the concept of girl dinner. I sometimes forget to eat, and getting myself to eat outside of normal mealtimes is difficult, and even during normal mealtimes i have days where its a struggle to eat anything. So seeing other embrace this is nice and relatable. I really hope it's doing more good than harm because eating is such a nuanced topic

[@Brittbiscuits]

You're the first person I've seen talk about AFRID outside of the ED medical/ recovery world. As someone who's struggling with ARFID my entire life it's really great to see someone bring light to it to a broader community. Thank you for including that lil part.

[@planetsejeong]

as someone with arfid it became a lot easier when people started joking that my weird meals were just girl dinners. i dont have asd, but i do have adhd, anxiety and ocd (which also connects with arfid)

[@Milkytears222]

OMG I HAVE ARFID AND I THINK I HAVE OCD AND ADHD AS WELL!!!

[@planetsejeong]

@@Milkytears222 both adhd and ocd can play into to the hypersensitivity correlated with arfid, but remember correlation ≠ causation. if you can, try to seek help if you think you have ocd!!! treatment and behavior therapy helped lower anxiety in my life… with food too :)

[@Milkytears222]

@@planetsejeong thank you sm!

[@Milkytears222]

@@planetsejeong also if ur comfortable what’s ur insta so I can follow u? Again It’s completely ok if don’t want to share!

[@Grace-md7su]

when i watch videos like these, i often find myself thinking about the topic and how it affects me as a neurodiverse person, but never expect the creators to actually talk about it. i really appreciate how much you obviously care about our community and bring our perspectives up when it’s relevant. thank you!

[@cherry_rattail]

I am sorry but the " nonbinary dinner" killed me 💀💀💀😭

[@hydrogenbomb7277]

Finally a dinner just for me! I haven't eaten anything in 13 years! I can't wait to finally taste some food

[@HighAsHeckPriestess]

I'm glad you brought this up. Videos calling it infantilization felt really unfair. I'm autistic with depression, and I'm poor. Food stamps don't stretch like they used to. Sometimes I cant muster the energy to cook, sometimes I find myself being turned off by food I normally like and opt for something like straight peanut butter or I just don't eat. But the important part is NOT EATING THAT WAY EVERY SINGLE DAY CUZ I LOVE LIVING

[@caro12347]

tbh i never knew what my problems with tomatoes were, cause i like tomatoe sauce and stuff.. untill i saw someone talking about how the texture is so weird to them. it was the first time i understood why i struggle with so many types of food.

[@celebrityguest.9530]

DUDE SAME even though tomato sauce is definitely an aversion for me as well,, like i can technically attribute it to one specific experience but i literally cannot get myself to eat like.. literally anything with tomato i just can't

[@lordskeletor481]

I feel you with tomatoes, it's the weird inconsistency in the texture of the tomato for me, plus the juice from it just NO.

[@georgieporgie317]

Y'all are weird. Tomatoes are delicious!

[@celebrityguest.9530]

@@georgieporgie317 glad you like them but a lot of us have food sensitivities. did you watch the video? i can say from my experience that i definitely have arfid. glad you like them but i personally can't stomach them. it's nothing personal, it's nothing "weird," it's just how it is.

[@vibrantgleam]

@@celebrityguest.9530 Same tomatoes have an awful texture to me.

[@Ashyblubear]

Girl dinner has been so validating for me! Ive recently been diagnosed with adhd at 25 but my whole life i have struggled as and have been told so much that I'm a "picky eater". I used to feel so much shame around that but seeing this trend has made me feel less embarrassed about my eating habits and preferences ❤ Go girl dinner!!

[@queeneve7992]

Hey, girl with ARFID here! Strange as it sounds, really excited to see you mention ARFID as I've struggled with it all my life, but growing up they lumped it in with anorexia, which I don't have..it's really strange, because I never considered myself to have an 'eating disorder' but the second I heard 'disordered eating' I was like 'OOP'. Anyway, arfid is real and it's a pain in the backside.

[@Entomology314]

I completely relate! At the beginning, I was almost diagnosed with anorexia instead of ARFID. The day program I went to lumped people with all sorts of eating disorders together. All the group therapy sessions were about body dysmorphia. It was almost hilarious how clueless they were about ARFID when half of their patients had that diagnosis.

[@frostnovaomega1152]

As a disabled person, I often feel shamed for the food that i put in my body. I dont have the executive function to cook, and not enough money for healthy convenience food, so i‘m having nonbinary dinners a lot. So having the kinda food i eat celebrated a little is such a breath of fresh air. I am so tired about being shamed for the „choices“ that i dont even get to make.

[@thequeertelope7941]

the last line yepp

[@ouroborosjormungandr5615]

I call it: having ADHD and trying your best to just put anything at all into your mouth so that you don't starve and die.

[@sophie427]

so true bestie 😭

[@paulinahafer7185]

I think both of your arguments are valid. Seeing small portions of food may very well promote disordered eating like anorexia but it may equally encourage people not to be ashamed about not eating „proper“ (by which they just mean „cooked“) meals when they struggle with eating regularly (or just don‘t want to assemble fresh and stunning meals every day). As someone who has been struggling with disordered eating herself for quite some time now, I was really surprised that there‘s a term for my kind of problem because I know for sure, I don‘t eat too little because of any kind of negative body views. So thank you for bringing up ARFID, I will definitely look into that more!!

[@ChantalMonette]

I think that this is a case of self-policing. If girl dinner is something that is negative for you, then you need to be aware of that and avoid interaction. But if girl dinner is something that encourages you to eat, like you said, then it's a good thing. There's a lot on the internet that gets called problematic, and people try to mass cancel it because it triggers a certain thing in them, but I think it's incredibly important for people, on average, to be able to self-police the content that they take in. There are obviously triggers that we need to avoid as a society, but if you know that you have an issue with something that's generally okay, then just self-care and swipe away.

[@KimmiAnn11]

I’ve done girl dinner for years, it’s been especially bad with me starting my overnight shifts. I have ADHD and most of the time it’s the thought of having to gather all the ingredients for just one meal that makes me go “never mind” and just eat shredded cheese from the bag, or like a handful or M&Ms. I find girl dinner funny because it’s relatable and makes me feel better that it’s not just me and it’s not because I’m just too lazy to cook.

[@TaylorX3]

I always have girl dinner while cooking. I'm hungry and nothing is made yet so I sample the fridge. Yesterday it was gravy( I was making roast), muscadines, ice cream, chips, toast and a sparkling water. Any food is better than no food.

[@lost_friend3391]

Tbh the trend made me a little less self conscious about my unhealthy eating habits cuz it means I’m not the only one not having energy or even money for a proper meal so it means I’m not actually failing at life

[@JordanLeetheBoi]

"More common for neurodivergent folks to develop eating disorders" I feel called out lmao. Girl dinner is my all the time. But I'm working on it. "Have you eaten today?" At almost 3 pm, I am called out once again and I have not. 😂😅😓

[@AnnamarieForcino]

i hope you eat something good tonight!

[@mychemicaldante]

i have problems with executive dysfunction and loss of appetite because of my cocktail of depression, anxiety, and adhd. i'm also in recovery from an eating disorder (almost two years behavior free!). it's really hard to find a way to work around these things and keep myself healthy. when i was in residential treatment, my dietician told me that when cooking or putting together a full meal "three snacks makes a meal!" (obviously this depends on what the snacks are and how nutritious the food is.) i eat multiple "girl dinners" a week and it's helped me so much. in my opinion, the original video and other videos showing unconventional meals can be extremely helpful because it expands your options outside of what a conventional dinner can be! the videos showing little to no food can be VERY harmful. it also normalizes starving yourself, even if they're jokes in good fun.

[@ThatFacelessWho]

It’s a great day when annamarie posts :3

[@croksten_stein]

first of all your hair looks absolutely gorgeous in this video i needed to say that. now onto the topic at hand, i'll be honest and say that i originally just thought that the girl dinner trend was people "showing off" how broke they were (in like a fun jokish way). i often lack ingredients to make proper meals and seeing those videos was kind of reassuring like "okay good im not the only struggling here we're just all having girl dinner" instead of feeling bad because i saw people before making a "quick low effort meal with what they had at hand" that resulted in the most nutricious plate you could ever think of

[@celebrityguest.9530]

THANK you for mentioning arfid. while i don't have an official diagnosis i can confidently say that is something i struggle with and it's a particularly rough situation considering how much stigma exists against "picky eating." like my relationship with food is rough and i can't easily introduce new things into my diet so while i certainly don't consider myself a girl, i think "girl dinner" has been kinda comforting for at the very least helping me realize that like hey,, i'm not the only person who eats like that, y'know?

[@Atlasintokyo]

I feel you on this!

[@sydneyanastasia3053]

okay but now girl dinner song is stuck in my head literally eating a scoop of peanut butter rn i love girl dinner

[@starsiadraws]

As someone who struggles with dicision paralysis, just "eating whatever you can find" is super helpful to me. I'm also a picky eater, so I try to keep some safe foods and comfort foods available.

[@enravotaboyadjiev7466]

THANK YOU SO MUCH ABOUT TALKING ABOUT ARFID! I live in a country where psychiatry isn't remotely up to date so I can't really get a proper diagnosis but I'm 99.9% sure I have ARFID and it took me so long to find out that it's even a thing that exists and is recognised as a real ED. My mother's obsession with health caused my eating to get so much worse a year and a half ago and I felt a lot of shame because I've lost so much weight and have been unable to eat properly since. It's especially bad since as a a trans guy I'm very self conscious about my body and am trying to put on weight and gain muscle mass and not eating right makes that impossible. Knowing that ARFID exists and that I'm not just "too picky" is such a huge comfort because I still live with my super controlling mother who refuses to understand or acknowledge my diagnosed ADHD and autism.

[@chamomileandcosmos471]

I was introduced to "girl dinner" with that one tiktok showing a bunch of barbie shoes, the gel pencil grips, polly pockets, etc. It cracked me up because I absolutely felt the need to nibble on those things as a kid lmao. I like the idea of it being against the expectation that women need to be cooking nothing short of homemade meals when it's just not realistic. Both my husband and I cook meals, we have no kids so it's just the two of us. Doing it every night sucks, so we like a girl dinner sometimes. A left over quesadilla, heat up a bag of frozen edamame, and have some salsa or apple sauce to finish it off. Big enough proportions to be satisfying of course, maybe once a week to finish up some odds and ends stuff before going shopping again. We have talked about the downsides to the trend, but luckily none of us have had unhealthy habits. Though we are for sure mindful with going about girl dinner

[@KrewLover4Life]

As a girl I can confirm I only "eat" Cold water with ice cubes

[@sickemgrrrl]

I chomp mine up, what about you?

[@Entomology314]

There was a time when I wasn’t allowed to drink water.

[@SharkUsingaComputer]

its the iron deficiency

[@margodphd]

Oh I also love pretending that cola zero with agar is jello

[@gibbygibbygibby7237]

and sugar water for dessert

[@mybackiskillingmebaby]

I like the vibe your channel gives off, I always feel like I learn something watching a video

[@5bc500]

girl dinner is one thing if its like a depression meal, but its an entirely other thing if ur just flexing ur eating disorder on an app full of people who are susceptible to them

[@Justlurkin_lol]

Girl dinner has always meant to me “good job! You ate something today!”

[@kennalikespizza4515]

Oh my god,,, genuinely, I teared up a little bit when you mentioned ARFID- I've suffered with it my entire life and only found a diagnosis or even just a word to describe it earlier this year. It is absolutely awful. But thank you so so much for bringing even a little awareness to it, so more people can understand I'm not a 'picky eater', I have an eating disorder

[@delectablemimi]

Many overworked college kids have "girl dinner" on a daily basis. My cousins are in med-school and they are so busy or tired all the time, that they have would skip meals or substitute meals for snacks.

[@MissAkashiya]

I have arfid and the girl dinner jingle being constantly stuck in my head helps me remember to find a little snack or something. It also makes the experience a little better, like I've got a small concert in my brain to enjoy with my food

[@vicg3330]

One of the things that I think isn't mentioned enough is that girl/boy dinners are more of a thing in North America, compared to other continents like Asia or South America - places that you are more likely to find better priced takeaway foods. 7-11 in many countries in East and Southeast Asia, for example, have decent quality cheap full meals that a lot of people default to when they want something cheap and fast. The connection between food choices and gender is not at all absent in these cultures. But I feel like it doesn't present itself in the same way that girl/boy dinners show up in North American cultures.

[@chaosbye]

tbh i thought girl dinner was some fun little trend on twitter because i found out about it through stan twitter where people would post a picture of an idol, celebrity, or fictional character looking particularly good-looking and captioning that as "girl dinner"

[@sophie427]

that’s definitely the funniest way the trend has devolved 😭

[@naomihood2837]

love u for including thatdarnchat, her content is amazing

[@Gallant_Silver]

the "Have you never been to an Italian household on Christmas" bit from the beginning is so relatable

[@mollierose9833]

i had a lot of ups and downs with this video. i, as always, love what you said and the video itself. as someone who’s struggled with multiple ED’s most of my life, i could see one of these videos being really triggering. i could also, though, see how it could help me sometimes. something is better than nothing and if i’m struggling to eat i can try to tell myself it’s a ✨girl dinner ✨ instead of my brain fighting over what safe foods i can eat. love you and your content as always, babes

[@malgoooooo]

overall i like this trend. i think it's good that it shows that eating random snacks is better than eating nothing. i just wish it didn't have a tendency of showing as little food as possible.

[@drewwhasinsomnia]

I think another thing that should be considered is that not everyone has the resources to eat a balanced meal everyday. Some people can't afford groceries or take out, sometimes all you have in your fridge is a slice of cheese and a cracker and in those cases there's nothing much that you can do.

[@angryfluteperson]

Interesting topic, and as you said, it’s not all black and white. This also made me think of times when I was binging, leading me to have a “girl dinner” without actually meaning to. I eat whatever comes to mind and then I’m too full to have an actual meal. I think this trend serves to be relatable bc it highlights issues a lot of people are experiencing that can also go deeper.

[@soapybagle]

The "medieval" jingle was actually Mozart's Lacrimosa (Requiem in D minor, K 626), which was written in the seventeen hundreds, many-a-years after the medieval period. It was originally a church requiem mass, hence the name Requiem in D minor. Just a fun little fact, since Lacrimosa has become a common meme song. It slaps and it's like a fun easter egg whenever I hear it in strange contexts

[@nbdjz1058]

as someone with arfid this representation feels so nice! and yes girl dinner is actually helpful for me but i can see how it would be damaging to some people.

[@eliliana119]

I have been waiting for someone to talk about this & how it can be so so healing but also a very negative influence on others. Thank you! I love that you cover topics that I do not see many other creators talk about(like the gnome hunting video)

[@PokhrajRoy.]

It’s “Winner Winner Girl Dinner” Day for those who celebrate 😂

[@Waywardwindfall]

😂😂😂😂 I

[@zeykriid]

I’m three months late but I suffer with ARFID!! I have for a very long time and this is literally the first time I’ve ever heard someone outside of a behavioral health institution discuss it thank you for bringing it up and defining it!!

[@rosy9182]

this was really well rounded - i always find your videos so interesting to watch since u manage to cover so many different perspectives of the topics in such a compassionate way!

[@beccaowl7452]

My favorite Girl Dinner is a bunch of snacks with an old ‘is this still any good?’ frozen meal in the back of my freezer and I am so glad to see this is such a normal phenomenon for other people too. It makes my girl dinners feel less shameful and honestly more fun when I get the tik tok audio stuck in my head while I wait for the food to cook 😊. On the more serious note girl dinners definitely are my go to when any shape or form of executive disfunction kicks in for me and standing long enough to make food is too much. It’s nice to have a less negative name than ‘depression meals’ for when eating an amount of food at the end of the day instead of a real meal.

[@theloquacity]

Thank you for not making this a totally negative thing. The idea of Girl Dinner makes me laugh, and it makes me feel better about the days where I have to force myself to eat anything at all.

[@daniel.lennon]

OMG I have ARFID and I never hear anybody talk about it. The three sort of "types" of ARFID are sensory aversion, lack of interest in food or eating, and fear of aversive consequences (like getting sick or having an allergic reaction). For me, it's mostly the last two. It's pretty common for people with ARFID to have emetophobia (fear of vomit/vomiting) or other co-morbid conditions like autism, digestive issues, severe allergies or mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS), etc. Girl dinners are how I live, so it was nice to see it normalized to eat snack-based meals. But then people started going down the path of "I ate a carrot stick and a cookie" type meals and that's when it got bad. The avoidance and restriction has nothing to do with weight, body size, or shape. I eat the way I do because I struggle with executive dysfunction and I also have some medical trauma and a history of my body spontaneously and temporarily rejecting random foods/food groups for reasons I'm still unaware of to this day. I also took prescribed ADHD meds that destroyed my appetite and it never fully came back even though I haven't taken those ones in three years. My body got used to eating so little that I lost my hunger cues. It's not fun and it's not something that should be glamorized - it's just nice to see other people who can relate for whatever reason.

[@MightyLeesComics]

Hey Annamarie, my fiancé and I love your videos, and while we were more mixed on the start of this video addressing the trend, you actually included the very thing we were wishing folks would consider when discussing this trend: Neurodivergent difficulties with food and eating. My fiancé and I are both AuDHD and struggle with ARFID, and we've actually found some comfor in these silly videos, as it's been relatable to our struggles with eating, and often reflects our caliber of meals. Having a creator not just mention this, but really discuss it the way you did here just meant the world to us. We already felt so welcome on this channel as nonbinary beans, but to have this kind of inclusive language confirms we have found ourselves a safe channel. 💜🙌