Girlfriend Gave Me an STD (Should We Stay Together?)

Girlfriend Gave Me an STD (Should We Stay Together?)
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[@302ec]

I can not imagine what this man is going through. The very first person he had sex with gave him HIV. 😢 Man, this is sad!

[@comi11]

the man never gotta have sex again

[@ceasarnunez5652]

Don’t believe the hype. Hes not telling the full story. He was probably in a homosexual relationship and that’s where he got it

[@rayannwashington7568]

I know someone who caught HIV from a girl on his prom night and died from AIDs. It happens. Abstinence is best.

[@MenacingBalls]

@@ceasarnunez5652women can get it too. It’s not an exclusively gay thing. Some men bang chicks and dudes. Also sharing needles can get you that.

[@ceasarnunez5652]

@@rayannwashington7568 No disrespect to the guy, but that’s what he told you. Do you know how many people are in the closet living an alternate lifestyle? It is possible, but the probability is very very low for a man to catch that from heterosexual intercourse. The statistics don’t lie.

[@ryancohen5580]

While serving as a combat medic in the early 2000s I contracted hiv during a combat mission, a closeted(gay) marine was wounded by an ied, I sliced my hand open while beating his heart for him internally. I have since fathered two children naturally and I have been married for 20 years. I test negative and my wife never contracted the disease due to modern medication and science. Thank god for my wife. I live a normal life and take one pill a day.

[@e.cforest5422]

Dude that Is Insane, are you blue Side or green?

[@ryancohen5580]

Royal Marines

[@anonymousdonor]

Thank you for saying this. Many people in the comment thread would benefit from such insight....But what I want to know is, how does one slice their hand whilst pumping a heart? Was there shrapnel?

[@marysaltlife1427]

Thank you for your service to our country. It is so good to hear of you doing well. GOD bless you and your family.

[@meowser1905]

Thank you for your service, and thank you for being so candid about your HIV status. People like you help keep this illness destigmatized and give hope that people can live a good and healthy life. All the best to you and your family.

[@lukechandler371]

I always thought having a baby with someone I didn’t love was a worst nightmare but this takes the cake

[@camxdidxthat]

no question. child support is 18 years but this is forever.

[@goofynigga8456]

Nah it can go to 24 or 27 becuz of college

[@cathyl7944]

Highly recommend saving sex for marriage. All the reasons.

[@cptfreeman8966]

@@camxdidxthat Idk man I'm hopeful for a cure

[@cptfreeman8966]

Imagine the first person you have sex with gives you an STD..... idk what I would've done to her smh

[@Attabasca]

I may be really cynical but what? This guy has never seen a traditional doctor only his dad who is some sort of homeopath. His dad was running "diagnostics" and that's how he found out he has HIV? Then his parents tell him this is God punishing him, break up with the girl and pretty sure they can heal that HIV completely with some oils or whatever his dad does. There is a part of my brain saying, "Does this dude even have HIV?? Is this his parents way of ending a relationship they don't approve of?" Then the other part of my brain is saying "But his girlfriend's a nurse, surely she got a proper diagnosis!" But then, what the hell kind of nurse is she? It just sounds freaking weird. I wish Dr. John had got more on how he was diagnosed. There is something off about this whole thing.

[@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559]

Exactly - there are so many holes in the story and Dr John clearly doesn't have the knowledge about HIV treatment today to see them. Conventional treatment is pretty advanced now and can give people a normal life expectancy and prevent them from infecting others. The caller did sound kinda slow, but no one in their right mind would opt for 'alternative medicine' (aka 'a death sentence') instead. It makes me wonder what kind of 'nursing' he's studying.

[@amyeastman8764]

SOMETHING is up with that. Did the dad make this up to control his son?

[@MercedesAshleyOnline]

Bingo.

[@jackiemyers2773]

I just wrote something similar above.

[@strnglhld]

Homeopathy is a 100% scam. That part made me doubt the HIV diagnosis too lolll

[@texan903]

Dr. John thinks this guy isn't taking this as seriously as he should be, but I believe he is deeply traumatized and doesn't know what to do.

[@lorim2000]

I think John understood that as well, he was being very straight and blunt to break through the trauma/denial.

[@fitzyglamyt]

Right he doesn’t have peers he can talk to about this to tell him his life is shaking up

[@bffoxjr]

He's definitely in the denial phase. He's saying it, but I don't think he's accepted its real yet.

[@TheAgentmigs]

Its called immaturity.

[@DrFrankenschtein]

Deeply traumatized and absolutely unprepared/unequipped to handle the circumstance he now finds himself in. Sheep get sheared, unfortunately.

[@theydontknowmeson007]

If the guy who called in checks the comment section, understand that there is a 99.99% chance your father didn't "accidentally" come across your medical information. As someone who works on IT I can assure you that you have to intentionally dig into a computer to find information. It just doesn't pop up in your face unless it's a virus or unwanted ad.

[@mariaotto6732]

I thought the same thing…

[@ladymusiqka]

It sounds like he was doing his annual check up at the facility and his dad is probably his doctor.

[@sam805236]

Relax, it's his dad. Any caring father would do the same, especially if the son didn't want to open up about it and let you know what's up but you clearly know something is wrong.

[@Emerica771]

@@sam805236 if the dad was aware his son went to the facility but didn’t tell the dad why.. I can see where the dad would go look it up to find out and then say he accidentally came across it to try and salvage some trust

[@cristinab2263]

@@sam805236 There are laws to prevent any practitioner from looking up records unrelated to providing direct patient care. This sounds shady.

[@theluckienurse]

He is a nursing student, so I’m sure he knows how serious his diagnosis is… it’s possible he is focusing so much on the relationship because it’s easier than facing the fact that his life will be changed for ever. I feel so bad for him 😔

[@ladymusiqka]

That's a good point. He's scared and directing his attention to anything but his diagnosis.

[@hadenanderson563]

I wonder if he knows that a relationship and procreation is impossible with anyone ever again.

[@RalstigRacing]

@@hadenanderson563 I wouldn’t say that. There are some good meds out there, and there are precautions you can take. It does make things much harder though.

[@mabanobi]

@@hadenanderson563 This is incorrect. With medications he can bring his viral load to virtually undetectable. He can even safely conceive without transmitting the virus. But he has to be compliant with medications. Sad situation but it can be overcome.

[@cloudedcolour5329]

@@hadenanderson563 actually the risk through the sperm of it causing HIV in a fetus is pretty small

[@WakeupAmerica777]

When the only man I ever had sex with my husband of almost 30 years cheated on me and got caught by the woman’s husband he confessed to me. I was a stay at home Mom of 2 kids. I asked my then husband if he used a condom he said no because the woman was “very clean”. She went back to her second husband and I divorced mine. ANYONE who puts my life at risk doesn’t deserve me. I went to all of my doctor’s and had ever type of testing known to man to make sure I was healthy to raise my babies. Yes, it was embarrassing as hell but I needed to know what I was dealing with. This “girlfriend” of yours who “didn’t know” she had HIV sounds fishy. His parents sound fishy. Go to real doctor’s who don’t know your family nor girlfriend and get tested for everything.

[@glassytea3315]

100%%%%

[@simba8665]

The girl definitely messing around and freaked out she got caught in this way

[@Lelough_]

​@user-qz4ji7dw3bhis health is his responsibility. Who has unprotected sex with a girlfriend???

[@Jackriff7855]

@@Lelough_who wants to be with someone with hiv? it was a trap

[@devadii24]

Well said… you did the right thing and there is nothing embarrassing about getting tested, you needed to know ❤ Best wishes

[@elizabetha8565]

I am so happy John pushed seeing a real doctor. So heart broken for this guy.

[@johniii8147]

Agreed. His "doctor" sounds very sketchy.

[@ThomisticAmerican13FOX]

Could it be possible that his parents, the dad doctor who "found out" is this not true.....dude please go see a real doctor by yourself and bring your girlfriend. Something is fishy here

[@Lexethan2011]

@@ThomisticAmerican13FOX That’s an interesting thought.

[@random-nz7dy]

I am too however I feel like it wasn't enough. The problem with modern pseudoscience culture is that they're not just offering their treatments as an adjunctive Many people in these fields like naturopathy and homeopathy are actively advocating for anti-vaccination across the board. Actively advocating for a complete abstainment from modern evidence-based medicine You rarely ever see these people support both the use of traditional medicine and what they offer. Understand that this individual may die of untreated HIV because his parents are making money off of pseudoscience and may be able to convince him to abandon modern medicine. That's disgusting. So it's not enough to just say "Well since it's a really serious disease go ahead and use traditional medicine.".

[@jeniferdankyi8487]

@ThomisticAmerican13FOX my thoughts exactly. I think his dad is trying to “teach him a lesson”

[@aubreystrawbrey4355]

One of the most horrendous videos I've seen is the Jubilee video on HIV where most of the participants agreed that they did not have to inform any of their sexual partners they are positive for HIV. If that doesn't scare anyone into being more cautious then I'm scared for the future consequences of the hookup culture and immorality we have today.

[@lauriea999]

He said she was his only partner

[@WildnUnruly]

I saw that video! They were absolutely disgusting!

[@Jojohumf]

Wile I haven’t seen the video. I’m very aware of HIV people who are classed as clinically undetectable, providing they continue to take their medication cannot transmit HIV to anybody else. They have so few virus in the blood stream that it cannot be detected by our medical equipment. A person who is undetectable cannot transmits HIV even through sex. However yes I agree they should say something as it think it’s the moral thing to do

[@benscott6826]

that’s why HIV never went away. Get test. Keep the virus at your own or that relationship. Stop effin spreading it.

[@danyaabdou9402]

I meannnnnn after a certain time of using antiretroviral drugs you can’t transmit HIV sooo they are not putting the person at risk.

[@salliekim2727]

My sister got an STI with her first sexual partner back in the late 90’s. Ever since that experience, she always had her partners show her the actual documented paperwork confirming their status before they proceeded with sex. Sure it’s not romantic but this is the world we live in. Fearful misinformed people will not self disclose and we rely too much on their word.

[@lilarose9348]

She’s very smart. I’ve asked intimate partners the same. One flipped out on me because he got tested and said everything was clear but I asked to see the paperwork. I needed the confirmation for peace of mind but he felt it meant I didn’t trust him and it led to a big argument. It made me feel bad that he felt that way. IMO why wouldn’t he show it if he went through the trouble of going to the doctor etc. Who knows but wasn’t worth the risk for me.

[@Mindmartyr]

if your sister wasn't nasty & promiscuous she wouldn't have to ask for "paperwork" & would settle down with one man like an honorable woman.

[@Joel-pg4yi]

@@lilarose9348 Ego. Clearly he didn't care about your own health.

[@Mindmartyr]

Maybe don’t have sex with strangers & this won’t be an issue

[@lilarose9348]

@@Joel-pg4yi No he did not or my own peace of mind.

[@gitBritt]

When you think you've had a really bad day, just come home and watch Dave Ramsey and John Delony talk to people about their problems....

[@Akili369]

It's why I come here. These calls are insane!!!!

[@castrolauraand5588]

That is right

[@keturahbethel6966]

Makes my day worse

[@gqmichaels]

Watch Financial Audit with Caleb Hammer. Definitely gives you a view that there are many people worse off

[@lcmarina]

Or if you think you have problems, or you have relationship problems, just watch these and realize you actually don’t have it so bad 😅

[@theydontknowmeson007]

As someone who works in IT... I would bet my career that his dad was stalking his information because you don't just accidentally find his medical information doing a PC check. And unless his father is his actual doctor thanks to HIPAA what his father did was illegal.

[@candyluna2929]

I agree

[@bigpicturethinking5620]

Yeah dads a creeper.

[@mariaotto6732]

Agree

[@michellejones4110]

Exactly!!

[@username9999]

I thought his dad was his doctor and was the one to discover the diagnosis while doing a check up. Like maybe he found the evidence while doing bloodwork for another reason. I'm not sure though.

[@porscheh7120]

Stories like this make me wanna stay single. You also have married couples passing it along. 😮‍💨🤦🏾‍♀️ This is just too much. Poor guy

[@blueseptember2174]

Never been more grateful that my husband left to cheat. It could have been worse. Not having to worry about my health was the silver lining to the abandonment.

[@jamesweaver6110]

Just awful!

[@rayannwashington7568]

Marry a man who has practiced abstinence. This kind of man has demonstrated self control. It is much less likely to catch this from a married partner than a man who is unmarried and just goes from partner to partner.

[@ONLY1KUDWE]

Seriously!

[@officialmoondancer]

News flash... STD/HIV is spread through UNPROTECTED SEX not RELATIONSHIPS... Being single has nothing to do with avoiding STD's lol

[@reallydarlings-se2xf]

Poor guy sounds so immature and brainwashed. Isolated. Parents sound VERY weird. He doesn't seem to be able to make the slightest decisions on his own. Cannot believe he hasn't sought real medical treatment. Incomprehensible.

[@Secretname807]

A few things: 1. It's very difficult for a woman to give HIV to a man during vaginal sex. 2. His belief that homeopathy might cure him, makes me question his judgement. 3. The fact that he hasn't been to a doctor, makes me question whether he has HIV at all. 4. Is his father trying to sabotage his relationship by saying he has HIV and then miraculously cure him?

[@emmajones8590]

That's not impossible. Give a fake diagnosis of HIV, followed by a fake treatment and a good measure of Bible thumping. Then when the guy gets a test, it turns out negative. And he was 'cured'. The dad sounds crazy enough.

[@lenkahomolova3715]

YES! Exactly my thoughts. How do you know you have HIV if you havent been in office? I once had this feeling that my ex was cheating on me and then we had unprotected sex. I was so afraid to take test where I live so I went to the office 300 km away from my home during COVID and I was like 21 and I got tested. If someone is afraid that they may have this type of illness they will move mountains to find out and if positive, not belive it after one testing. But I am encouraging all the people reading this to do this! It was such a good feeling to know for good where do you stand

[@emmajones8590]

@@lenkahomolova3715 A lot of people just don't want to know if they have a very serious disease, and that is both with hiv and other conditions. Not everyone wants a test for BCRA, Huntington or an aneurysm. At least now you can get treatment for hiv, back in the nineties it was a death sentence. Luckily condom use became a lot more popular.

[@MaanSelene]

Exactly what I was thinking! I'm betting a good buck on this guy never having had HIV!

[@_Jesse_]

@@lenkahomolova3715 Not nessesarily, he could just be affraid of the outcome (a positive test), which is why hes avoiding it. The guy is right though, chances of contracting HIV from a single encouter for a man is about 0.1% - 0.2% depending on some factors. Not impossible but very unlikely.

[@ClutchFirst]

I’m angry for him. DAMN! His entire life was ruined in a few minutes. I have a hard time believing she didn’t know she was sick. Screw love dude…I don’t think he understand how bad this is.

[@rigatoni4646]

Most people have no idea, if you haven't been checked recently you might be positive. Ideas such as "surely people probably know" are the problem...

[@naraendrareddy273]

People think we'll be safe if we wear a condom.

[@alisha4635]

? Do you know anything about diseases? You don't know and, in most case hiv in the early stages shows itself as a cold, feeling exhausted and maybe a rash at best. So it is possible she didn't know

[@Matt-cr4vv]

His life isn’t over. The modern medication to treat HIV allows people to live a predominately normal life. HIv isn’t the death sentence today that it was in a prior day. It would still be a shock though. And it’s not like you immediately notice you have HIV so it’s perfectly possible she didn’t know and part of minimizing your risk of this stuff is both of you getting checked regularly to know what you do or do not have as well as using protection. If you don’t take any safety precautions you take these risks

[@charlesanderson1966]

She could have got it from work in that case she might not have known.@@alisha4635

[@caroneast]

Hope he got a second test carried out by someone else other than his father. He needs to go to a mainstream doctor to get a diagnosis and receive treatment.

[@carolapostolos8929]

I agree!

[@katec3872]

This might be one of the saddest calls I’ve ever heard. Dr. John, I think you did great under the circumstances!

[@TheAgentmigs]

It's almost like he's afraid to see a doctor because it will validate his diagnosis.

[@carolyn9961]

There's no excuse for a nurse to not know their status before putting someone else's life at risk. Imagine the patients she's potentially harmed. Regardless of if she knew or not, she's clearly an irresponsible, thoughtless person. I feel so bad for this guy.

[@gracedawsonbeatty3883]

THANK YOU!! I was thinking the same thing. This story isn’t adding up.

[@AMK544]

Chances are she knew and lied about it.

[@freebein]

Exactly

[@vchafab]

Couldn’t agree more.

[@yogaqueen1527]

She knew

[@geo865833]

I'm 27. I am heartbroken for this guy. 💔

[@farmboyswaterfowlin9116]

same. devastating.

[@supermodelatlanta1354]

I was 27 & feel bad for this guy

[@marquisstrongchild7535]

Oh me too bro

[@Gentledegenerate]

Samehere, and she’s his first sex partner

[@HerbChao14xs]

I'm 42 and I feel terrible for this guy (he sounds young) and his gf too. I'm sexually active and get tested/use protection when testing isn't there but wow. My heart just goes out for both of them.

[@jonipitcher7185]

Im the girl who goes foraging in the woods for plants. Im the girl who uses plants in my ward to heal. Im the girl who thinks nutrition is basically the reason for 99% of all our medical problems AND i absolutely think doctors have a place and this is one of them . I hope this man gets love and support. I hope he is doing well. I wish there was a way to get updates. ❤

[@AirmanBrown]

The Man lost his virginity to her so he’s not thinking clearly. This situation is tragic. I pray for both of them but what he seriously needs to do is get control of his health and take some time to reflect

[@AnimeBeefRandoms]

Damn, he's unlucky.

[@naraendrareddy273]

That's it, he can't date. Unless he wants to spread it.

[@juliemcgugan1244]

He needs to get a test from a health practitioner independent of his Dad. His parents told him that their medicine can cure him! That is a HUGE red flag, right there!

[@erikybarra3898]

​@@naraendrareddy273He can date but he better tell every woman that he has a LTR in the future that he is HIV+ especially if he wants to have sex that's the moral responsible and legal thing to do!

[@naraendrareddy273]

@@erikybarra3898 Who'd date someone with HIV? Basically who'd date slow death?

[@9liveslisa]

Poor guy. Only good thing about any of this is it is more treatable than ever before. His primary concern is taking care of himself and his health.

[@inammahboob6885]

Yeah they have injectable therapies and 6 month injections are coming soon.

[@rachelabate2401]

Good point. He is concerned about everyone but himself.

[@dann551]

This guy is 28yo and nursing student, and sounds as naive as a 12yo. I have a hard time believing this call is true. If it is something doesn't add up. She's a nurse with hiv, he hasn't seen a real Dr. how did he get tested? If this is true it's very sad!

[@alqoshgirl]

He doesn’t sound like the brightest mind out there. 28 and being this dumb…

[@juliemcgugan1244]

I don’t think he and the gf are actual nursing students. I think they are practicing the ‘woo-woo medicine’ that the family believes in. Aren’t nursing students required to do health checks/blood tests regularly? I hate that there are some ‘medical providers’ who skirt around regulations by hiding behind religion and religious freedoms.

[@juliemcgugan1244]

Or this guys parents do not like the gf and are trying to split them up. The son says he is in nursing as well and maybe the parents want him to quit nursing and come back to the family business...They told him they can cure him of HIV! Is that not a huge red flag? If they can get him to dump the girlfriend like they want, come home and start working in their business and , as they say, they can 'cure his HIV.' But the true story, I think, is that the guy never had HIV in the first place. They are just trying to control him. After he is 'cured,' they may go on telling him to never trust anyone again, that he needs to stay close to the family so they can protect him. They will have him back under their thumb.

[@SandraStachowiczLtd]

Your theory is flawed and still doesn't explain why the girlfriend has HIV too 😂😂😂

[@juliemcgugan1244]

@@SandraStachowiczLtd Who has confirmed that the girlfriend has HIV? Does she go for health checks to OP's Dad too? As far I know, neither of them has actually been tested by an actual doctor. Tim's dad (a naturopath, not an actual doctor) is the only one saying that he has HIV. No actual doctor has diagnosed Tim or his girl friend.

[@kaylaa2466]

He sounds completely broken; it was his first partner & he got a life ending (in one way or another) disease. This is terrible. Praying for this guy. Hope he sees another doctor!

[@InTheNameOfLife1]

It is devastating to have, I’m sure, but the medication now allows them to live perfectly normal lives. People with HIV now have very good prognoses and can be with non-effected people with little risk due to how good the treatment has become. I hope he knows he can love and lead a normal life again

[@queenbee3647]

I hope he just lives!

[@katiez688]

The anti-viral drugs they have nowadays bring the viral load down so low that the person cannot infect someone else. The tragedy here is that she didn’t get tested. If she had she could have gotten on the anti-viral drugs and he would not have contracted HIV from her.

[@CC12398]

​@@InTheNameOfLife1glad you said this it's surprising most people don't know this

[@Price8903]

If he doesn’t take med every single day of his life his viral load can increase and he can die from having the common cold. It’s still very much so a life altering virus

[@aundirussell8644]

i doubt the dad accidentally found out. he sounds controlling. TOTALLY against HIPPA

[@joyaustin6581]

My mother has approval to see my medical information since age 18. I never took her off privacy thing

[@gsquared2394]

Yeah if he signs the release, his dad has access to it all.

[@ajuister]

​@@joyaustin6581 Not how that works in the US

[@joyaustin6581]

@@ajuister yes it does. I sign giving her permission when I fill out medical paperwork

[@ajuister]

@@joyaustin6581 exactly. That's a very different statement than "I just never took her off" everytime you go in somewhere theres paperwork permissions so you're letting her have access everytime.

[@chocolatte8301]

This is heartbreaking to hear and a devastating thing to have to go through. I will pray for this guy. :(

[@danilaroche1156]

If this man repents to the Lord Jesus, he will be forgiven. The Lord is able to heal them both as Jesus can do anything! God can also restore the relationship. They must refrain from premarital sex & follow Christ, wholeheartedly. God is able !

[@emilypacheco2074]

Get another doctor Tim. One that you’re not related to. Look at your relationship from the outside. How does she take care of you? How does she treat you? Take a drive and ponder it out.

[@connie0613]

Great advice

[@laOrzy]

Man I feel for this guy, I pray he’s okay. Thank god it’s not the death sentence it ones was.

[@Tristum1970]

Will Be if not attended to. He better get on it!!!

[@juliemcgugan1244]

@@Tristum1970 He needs to get a test from a health practitioner independent of his Dad. His parents have told him that their medicine can cure him. That is a HUGE red flag in my book. Either way, he needs to talk to an expert, not his Dad.

[@Tristum1970]

How does a parent in this situation NOT recommend going to the best local traditional doctor for this ? Something’s weird

[@supermodelatlanta1354]

Parents mutilated their children genitals. They also kill them & let the body sit for a year while collecting food stamps.

[@ariadneschild8460]

Religious beliefs can get in the way.

[@marymarsh2937]

Probably not wanting any of his colleagues to find out. 🙄

[@Tristum1970]

@@marymarsh2937 really ? What parent would prioritize’reputation’ over the health of their child ? A sociopath I guess

[@marymarsh2937]

@@Tristum1970 Have you ever heard of “honor killings “ ?

[@chioma515]

It’s sounds like he is still in shock and the advice were all on point, reminder to always bring up testing no matter how awkward the conversation with new partners

[@bethrook]

I'm always preaching that but it falls on deaf ears.

[@kaiser1295]

​@@bethrook those people are stupid.

[@nicme]

My heart breaks for this guy. He can have a good long life IF he gets the right medication.

[@pamhop5831]

OMG! After this call I ran to wash my face and pray! And I immediately felt that his Dad could have made up those results!!!! So happy you told him to go see a doctor immediately and retest!!!! This was the saddest call I’ve heard you take! 😭😭 I’m a nurse but more than that I believe in The healing power of Jesus!✝️

[@Mitchmyoutube]

Wha. Could you imagine if the dad lied! He would have to call back if that was the case, like how he said his dad told him there was a chance to cure him with his "medicine", he could just say that he cured him and the son would never question

[@ceciliajohnson8812]

Definitely the healing power of Jesus!! Both these individuals need to pray for healing...physical, emotional, all of it.

[@garnet9788]

@@Mitchmyoutube I had the same suspicion! The guys family didn’t like his Girlfriend so I wouldn’t put it pass them to make something like this up and than say they can “cure” him.

[@surgeon2b]

His dad lying and "fixing" the situation with his medicine would be a relief. I feel for this man

[@sherwood07]

Holy a;ldjfaoeicnj;eaimn;eoirhnfc;aldcknei that would be insane and makes so much sense on so many levels. Life truly is stranger than fiction

[@jleung85]

This guy sounds like he’s 18, not 28 🤦‍♂️

[@neodaltiair8624]

This upsets me in so many ways. I don't even know how to feel.

[@gldojm]

I just want to say that this wasn't provocative in the least, recommending seeing a traditional doctor is excellent advice.

[@annaandrianis7310]

The guy works in a traditional system. I don’t think that’s what he was looking for.

[@supermodelatlanta1354]

He's talking about the fermented oats

[@alexatedw]

I have a feeling his dad made it up and the essential oils will end up working. His next test will be clear

[@abida2]

Only after he breaks it off with the gf though…

[@nicolab2075]

Omg

[@jones2277]

to get him to break up with the girlfriend? yikes

[@truthhurts...6574]

That's terrible. I hope his father wouldn't stoop that low. That's grounds to sever the parent relationships.

[@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559]

Yeah, the caller doesn't sound like they should be working anywhere near the medical profession.

[@EJaj1623]

This kid needs to bail. Bail from this terrible woman who gave him this probably knowingly. And bail from his parents who don’t respect him enough to respect his privacy, and don’t love him enough to tell him get proper treatment for a potentially life threatening disease.

[@bethanyb4478]

Not potentially life threatening. Without heavy-duty drugs, it's a death sentence within ten-fifteen years or so.

[@supermodelatlanta1354]

So true well said dude

[@inammahboob6885]

@@bethanyb4478 well, I hope they have a cure soon. I have heard great things about American Gene technologies and Crispr.

[@Salutations26]

Why?

[@jones2277]

he knows that it will be unlikely for him to find another woman who is willing to accept HIV, so i get why he's not quite ready to jump ship.

[@freebein]

I'm willing to bet: 1. The girlfriend knew and didn't treat it and gave it to the bf. 2. The dad knows way more than the son knows by stalking him all his life and the son doesn't even realize it. 3. The son has extremely low self esteem and sees no future with any other girl and is therefore stuck with this chick. (She loves it and its possibly her plan.)

[@bigpicturethinking5620]

Astute observations. Likely accurate as well.

[@bobberry1463]

it is possible to not know you have a std.

[@dronetrucker]

SPOT ON. She knew she was riding the CC, got infected, then found a simp to trap.

[@abark]

Dad made it up to get them to break obviously.

[@firefly9838]

Well said. I noticed his seemingly low self esteem.

[@mscosnelmar04]

There is nothing I can say to address the situation so stoicly as Dr. Deloney did. Such a heartbreaking situation, Tim is as scared as a deer in headlights, and honestly doesn't know where to turn . My heart is so heavy right now. Tim, if you read this, people can live normal lives with the correct treatment. It's day one. You are not your diagnosis. It will take time to assimilate, not accept. Have a team. You are braver than you think.

[@inammahboob6885]

He is extremely brave to call the show and admit that he has this through being irresponsible. I hope he can pull through this.

[@EricAndradeMusic]

That's an actual nightmare scenario. I couldn't imagine anything worse than this. I wish this man the best of luck finding better health in the future.

[@NicholsKT]

I agree that it’s a nightmare scenario but there’s definitely worse than this. Had a patient who was approaching 40. Came into the clinic do to odd symptoms. Found out that she was pregnant with twins, after having given up on the idea of bearing children. Only to discover she was also HIV positive because her husband had been having an affair. I don’t know how that situation panned out, in the end. It was long enough ago that she’s probably deceased by now. HIV/AIDS medications had come aways but not far enough. I really hate this disease. Marriage is not a condom. Monogamy can lower your exposure, of course, but all it takes is for one person to step outside their vows one time. I wonder if her parents would see God as punishing this patient and her twins for her husband’s discretion? Even if the husband hadn’t had an affair, he could, like the caller’s girlfriend, have been unknowingly infected before they got married and the outcome of transmission would still have been the same. I’ve long since believed that STD testing-along with a six month to one year marriage delay with retesting-should be required for the issuance of a marriage license. I wonder, if that was the law, would it change people’s behavior?

[@BaxterB1641]

I live in Des Moines. I’m sorry for your circumstance. If you need to grab a beer or coffee more than happy to meet and chat! Rough go man!

[@myballsitchsomethingfierce6319]

The best thing you can give your partner is a clean bill of health including STI or STD test.

[@whitneyw.7919]

That probably realistically means abstinence before marriage. yah, there are ways to prevent, but 99% of couples are going to stop using condoms after awhile. And nothing is 100%

[@loljk9443]

@@whitneyw.7919 so true.

[@singlemomlife2261]

They won't test you for HIV around me in that pannel

[@ancientmage666]

I'm sharing this with my son

[@katamadordelvalle7972]

And condom use. Some STIs can't be detected unless there are symptoms, like HPV. So always use a damn condom.

[@shannoneaves8475]

I hope to God he goes to a traditional doctor for treatment of this! As a RN I was screaming on the inside listening to him talk about his dad curing him.

[@lauriea999]

I don't think he has HIV dad made up the story to break him away from the girl and oh look !!! i cured you !!! Nope I smell a rat he needs another test away from the family I'm gonna bet he's negative not saying it's impossible but his first heterosexual experience and he gets HIV the odds are huge especially for straight men .... He needs another test

[@juliemcgugan1244]

And the fact that he should re-test after 3 months, to make sure that this is not a false positive. That is standard medical protocol and any decent doctor knows this.

[@summermcclain8330]

The very first person he ever slept with gave him an incurable disease… that’s so heartbreaking.

[@ladymusiqka]

At 3:00 Tim mentioned that his dad is a doctor and Tim regularly goes for checkups. At 3:30 He passively clarifies that he goes to his dad for health checkups. His father did not violate HIPPA because he is Tim's doctor. You can tell he was just nervous on the call and having a difficult time explaining the situation instead of outright saying things. It makes sense why he believes holistic medicine might help his diagnosis because he likely grew up receiving treatment from him. He's trusting his primary physician which is his father. At 4:52 he says that he is being treated by his Dad and "it could go away." Tim is clearly in shock and so is he family. He definitely needs to find a different doctor. He doesn't need his dad treating him now that he is adult AND facing something life changing. Even though John wasn't completely sure of what to say I think he totally nailed this call. He handled it brilliantly. This was a tough one.

[@randomg9806]

100% on point

[@ladymusiqka]

@E I 100% agree. The dad should have never been his doctor in the first place.

[@olivias2836]

@E yes I am shocked it’s even allowed. My step mother is a doctor and she doesn’t even like to give us health advice because of the conflict of interest.

[@RealGalaxyGamers]

Then how do you explain him saying he stumbled into the information.

[@ladymusiqka]

@@RealGalaxyGamers because he learned of his condition through the check up.

[@fallenxstari]

I feel like he is in shock and is fixated on the relationship because of the shock.

[@33asmr]

Every single time you start a new relationship and you don’t use protection you must get tested before and after. Things happen sometimes you don’t know what someone can give you even by accident. Condoms aren’t always safe they break…

[@rayannwashington7568]

They break and can come off, plus they don't protect 100% when used properly.

[@chasa4347]

Wow - I think this is the first time I saw Dr. John struggling for words. Prayers for this young man. :(

[@actuallyterry]

This is heartbreaking. I can't imagine.

[@reinamacaren-a4132]

Is dad aware that he could be sued and or fired for breaKing all kinds of violations especially HIPPA❓😱👹

[@ellie448]

For real but maybe since he’s not a “traditional doctor” aka he just calls himself a doctor

[@reinamacaren-a4132]

@@ellie448 True but I assumed he was a holistic Dr. If he's an analyst of some sort, he could still be in trouble. He has access to medical records

[@ladymusiqka]

He actually didn't break HIPPA. If you listen back he says that his dad is his doctor. He goes to his dad for health checkups 3:30

[@nmc1859]

Sometimes people break rules when it's their kid

[@inthebooks3947]

His dad is his doctor

[@Donimo90]

I wish this guy all the happiness in the world no matter what ! He'll be okay there is always a light at the end of the tunnel... ALWAYS

[@MT-.]

Oh my Word with the way he was so calm I thought he was going to say gonorrhea, herpes, syphilis...but this man said HIV and doesn't seem to understand the severity of it. My heart hurts...

[@millennialmadness5138]

When he asked “Why do you want to stay with this person?” and he said “She loves me and respects me, I’m like, “What?!” Don’t you love her? Don’t stay in a relationship because of guilt.

[@blacksquid270]

He still hasn't figured out that she doesn't love or respect him. It's pretty clear she's sleeping with other men hence this permanent STD she's given him.

[@A_W2016_love]

He made his bed let him sleep in it.

[@carolapostolos8929]

IMHO this young guy sounds like he's had a sheltered, lonely life. I hope he gets the help he needs to figure this out. I wish him the best.

[@caroneast]

Am I the only one that finds his diagnosis given by his father suspicious.

[@unnamedchannel1237]

Mmmm and did his father diagnose is GF as well ?

[@hadenanderson563]

Omg. I just commented the same.

[@chasa4347]

wow - good thought. I'd get a second diagnosis for sure!!!

[@sugarmagnolia33]

Totally agree. This situation is NOT adding up. I sincerely hope he goes to a traditional doctor and gets a second opinion.

[@agordon77]

Exactly! If his dad is his "doctor " he would have to lld him when the test results came back not after it "accidentally " popping up on the screen....and I didn't know alternative medicine people did tests like regular doctors

[@Briemerald]

I’m supposed to be studying but instead I’m listening to Dr. John’s shows endlessly.

[@user-vx4pz6rp5d]

Me too! Dr. John is phenomenal!!!

[@ericalashan1923]

Oh Lawd. HIV will go away? Pleas people stop it. Please. I feel for this guy. This call scared the crap out of me. Some people will literally die over refusing traditional medical practices...omg. I would freak out if he or she was my nurse. Poor judgement all around. If he or she is by passing HIV what the hell does he think about me? Go to a real doctor!

[@nikkole9951]

Omg this sucks so bad. I feel so bad for this guy. I’m so mad and it’s not even my problem. I would be furious at the gf whether she knew or not. He has to live with that now! How awful!

[@Frost-tb9qs]

HIV and AIDS is no longer a death sentence. You can take medication 💊 to the point where you become undetectable

[@jones2277]

but you still have it.

[@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559]

@@jones2277 But the fact that he's going the 'alternative route' when the conventional one is so advanced now is very suspicious. It just doesn't add up, particularly since he's studying nursing.

[@freecountry3544]

If caught early enough you can stop the affect on your immune system. He will still be vulnerable to illnesses, most likely, but treatment NOW will reduce their impact. It is an immune disorder. It progressively gets worse, but early diagnosis and treatment will help. I think his girlfriend didn't take are of herself. She had unprotected sex with someone herself, as a nurse, without finding out their history. She's irresponsible, and really irresponsible considering her training. I think they should seek out treatment and wisdom on it together and maintain the friendship as a relationship of support. But...let's face it, neither of them should have a family.

[@strnglhld]

This is NOT a disease you want to take the “alternative route” with treating……… I really hope this guy wakes up.

[@lisad56]

The person has to take medication and stay healthy because if the white cells get low it can turn to AIDS.

[@CryptoKernels]

“You’ve gotta get people that you can trust!” To say it’s easier said than done is beyond an understatement!

[@b7Hn4eX8yv4m]

Great work John, you handled this very well.

[@blacksquid270]

No he didn't, he handled this terribly. He didn't push for obvious information, like "Do you know for certain that she didn't knowingly give you the disease?, Was this STD the result of her cheating on you? If so, why do you think you can trust her?" Dr John also crafted a narrative about this guy's parents saying they were claiming that God is punishing him with this disease. The guy said that his parents said God was showing that the relationship was not meant to be, not that God was punishing him with the STD. Dr John twisted the words around, presumably to try to make some kind of indictment on religion.

[@sophiesingh6141]

@@blacksquid270THIS!!!! Why did John do this??? Seems like he projected religion onto the situation.

[@rachellawrence702]

Honey if you ever read this know that I want to hug you. I can't imagine how scared you are but life isn't over. You will get through this. Go to a traditional doctor. Educate yourself. I am praying for you.

[@mariaceja3190]

Prayers go to everyone going through this situation 🙏

[@TheDirkKnight]

This is some of the best counselor advice I've ever heard. I think this guy really needed to hear all the honesty from another man.

[@AshleyBehrendt]

Dr John is so intuitive it always impresses me

[@blacksquid270]

No he's not, he handled this terribly. He didn't push for obvious information, like "Do you know for certain that she didn't knowingly give you the disease?, Was this STD the result of her cheating on you? If so, why do you think you can trust her?" Dr John also crafted a narrative about this guy's parents saying they were claiming that God is punishing him with this disease. The guy said that his parents said God was showing that the relationship was not meant to be, not that God was punishing him with the STD. Dr John twisted the words around, presumably to try to make some kind of indictment on religion.

[@estelayer3138]

This doctor didn't address this one very well.

[@caseygiglio3373]

My heart goes out to this man.

[@Giselle987]

My heart breaks for this young man. I’m praying for him ❤

[@videobrownsville]

Wow. John I really respect you for this call.

[@juliemcgugan1244]

Right? Although I was concerned that he didn't notice some rather large red-flags, you've got to acknowledge that he didn't expect to hear this, when he picked up the call with this young man, that day. It was def good advice to tell him to make sure to get re-tested by a traditional doctor. The things this young man's 'doctor' Father told him def had my internal warning-sirens sounding.

[@amandadean3948]

Seriously though…this guy sounds like he’s still shell shocked and in denial somewhat.

[@RokashyLowlights]

To be fair they've only been dating for about a year and how often does he get checked for STD's? It's very possible that she never cheated on the guy and she just had the STD from a previous encounter.

[@cloudedcolour5329]

not just him getting checked but her too

[@TstormVA2012]

Mandatory testing and protection

[@MsDorcelus]

He stated that she is the first person he’s been intimate with.

[@cloudedcolour5329]

@@MsDorcelus but unless you are 100% sure you're her first, you get checked, its basic common sense

[@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559]

@@cloudedcolour5329 He stated on the call that he's her second partner. For 2 nurses, they were pretty stupid.

[@wil404]

First, he needs to see an actual doctor. Second, he needs to get this woman to let her bosses know she has HIV. Third, he needs to set up some serious boundaries with his parents, especially his dad.

[@lindajackson2382]

If his gf knowingly gave him HIV, then SHE has committed a federal crime and needs to be prosecuted abd do jail time!

[@j1326]

Dude seems seriously down. I pray he finds hope to put his chin up, chest out and learn to life with this and finds love within himself

[@Exstend0007]

Thank god he Called in

[@Chosen302]

My heart goes out to this guy. ❤

[@wekivaaquatics5918]

I feel for this young man. Maybe he is so concerned about the relationship because he is afraid he won't be able to get another relationship because of his STD, so he prefers to fight for it and make it work.

[@jones2277]

exactly. that's the reality, as sad as it is.

[@kellyfrancis8999]

Sex is risky business. Not to be taken as lightly as some people do.

[@spiritsofthesky]

I had a similar situation in terms of relationships with my parents and now wife. Nobody should ever use God to attack or punish you: that's not what He's about. As for your girlfriend,youi and her are the only ones who can say where this goes. Keep loving each other like you have for the past year, and work with a good doctor and therapist for your physical and mental health.

[@ceciliajohnson8812]

Totally! God saves and is our Defender. Unfortunately, this young man has to navigate an extremely serious life situation, and will be used to confiding in his parents. This is where the young man needs to step back from his parents a little bit and get help from a therapist. While his parents love him, and want the best for him, the young man is now an adult and is responsible for his own decisions and actions. The parents just want to protect their son from himself, really.

[@kc-il4sb]

Bingo- disconnect and grow up - take control of your life.

[@blantz14]

Prayers for this young man.

[@MariaFernandez-lh9ul]

This episode makes me really sad, I feel for this guy so much!!!!!!!!!!

[@garnet9788]

I feel like he needs to go to another Doctor that isn’t father or anyone he knows and get a second test. Because something isn’t adding up about this situation. Maybe it’s just me but it just doesn’t sound right.

[@blkswan68]

Yeah I'm with you there. Something about this just doesn't seem right. Has the diagnosis been given officially by a medical doctor or just by his dad?

[@7somekindofsomething]

👍👍

[@juliemcgugan1244]

@@blkswan68Yep, too coincidental that this diagnosis would have him away from the girlfriend and out of traditional nursing. Perhaps back in the family business?

[@dannmurray1199]

​@@juliemcgugan1244...the father must know that his son could very easily get a second opinion so why would he lie about something so serious....plus who tested the gf? If it was a regular dr then it must be true. I feel for all involved.

[@juliemcgugan1244]

@@dannmurray1199 There is no indication that the gf has even been diagnosed with HIV. She has not come to him and said that she is HIV positive and asked has he been with somebody else. I find this odd, since, if she is a medical student, surely she has been tested? This young man has only been told by his (non-doctor) Father and has concluded that it must be his gf who has given him this, since she was his first sexual partner. And exactly why would he go and seek a second opinion, when his Dad has always given him his medical care and has told his son that he knows of a way that they may 'cure' him of his HIV infection? I don't think this poor kid has ever known of anything outside of his parent's orbit. I think his parents are confident that he will not seek help from anyone else. After all, he has even called into a radio show and his story has been taken at face-value. Nobody asked, 'Hey, is your Dad an actual doctor?' Nobody but people in the comments has picked up on any of these glaring red flags. But say that his blood test has come back, reading as 'positive.' That is putting aside the fact that you do not just send away a blood test and get back a HIV result. You have to actually set parametres of what you are testing for; there are many things you can look for in somebody's blood. You don't just say, test for everything, especially on a yearly basis, like OP's Dad seems to do. HIV is not a common thing to test for, in a young person without symptoms, who is not practicing unsafe sex with multiple partners. Unless there are specific reasons, such as applying for citizenships or permanent residency in certain countries (I had this test when I was 12 and so did the rest of my family, when applying for permanent residency in the country of Singapore, back when we lived there.) Also, keep in mind the fact that there are other reasons, apart from having HIV, where you might falsely get a positive result. I recently read a story about a middle-aged couple who took a holiday in Vegas for their wedding anniversary. They spent all of their time together, but got quite sick upon their return to their home state. After a couple of months, they consulted a doctor, who was very concerned about their symptoms and how quickly they got sick (I personally think they got sick in Vegas, though the symptoms didn't really kick in until they got home. They would have undoubtedly been in lots of crowded place.) Anyway, he ran a test that included HIV screening (because of their symptoms,) and the results came back that they were both positive for HIV. They were both shocked and everybody who came to know about it in the weeks following also began to turn on the husband, because he 'must have' cheated on his wife and become infected with HIV in Vegas, then infected his wife! But the doctor told them not to panic, that they have to do repeat test to make sure this is a correct diagnosis (also, see what this also makes me suspect the young man's 'doctor' Father in this story, even more? If he were a doctor, not only would he not say that he could cure his son, he'd also say that they had to repeat the test, to make sure. Any decent doctor will do so; it is standard protocol.) The repeat test showed , more than 3 months after the first, showed that they were negative. Turns out that they had the Epstein-Barr virus, not HIV. It is rare, but not unheard of and they actually now have tests that they can run to look for genetic information in a person's blood that is only present with HIV and will not be present with the Epstein-Barr virus infection.

[@gbh_events]

HIV is very difficult to diagnose. The standard tests have different ways of being interpreted depending on what country you are in. It is possible to be HIV positive in one country and negative in another - with the same test. There is a good chance that the diagnosis is wrong.

[@gingerlawrence4677]

You can hear the pain in his voice, it's palpable. I hope he finds healing 💔

[@MattKaseVideos]

I had a full blown panic meltdown for like a week after my first time unprotected fearing this exact same thing. Luckily there was no damage done but it sure did shake me to my core

[@KawaiiMommie]

I don’t think he gets how serious things are because he is still in shock and he grew up obviously in a fire and brim stone home and health care treated with snake oil and aloe Vera extract 🤦🏾‍♀️. I also think he wants to believe that his girlfriend, who is a nurse didn’t know and will stay with him but most likely she did, she is destructive and will leave him. He needs to go to counseling and see a traditional dr to get on some anti virals so he doesn’t spread the virus and it doesn’t turn into full blown AIDS

[@gracedawsonbeatty3883]

100%

[@AlexBobalexRavenclaw]

Sometimes I get frustrated at the hope people have in these situations because they’re “the same” somehow, like he and she are both nurses. I know some nurses who lead two very different kinds of lives, assuming they’re good workers. It’s so hard to differentiate.

[@jacobs7764]

I'm a longtime podcast listener and I have to say this show is so much funnier with the facial reactions

[@bradleymaravalli2851]

Tim, if your girlfriend had zero clue of her HIV prognosis, that she had not known about her HIV prognosis until you found out about your HIV prognosis, she is likely hurting too. Her world is rocked upside-down too. She might be having similar concerns too regarding her health and relationship - where if it does not work out between you two, then what? What does her life now look like? ... Please, please do not make any rash decisions regarding marriage or long-term commitments until everyone is in a good place regarding this news. Where decisions are made where both of you have a clear conscience and a level-headed mind.

[@wil404]

Nah man. The only needs he should be considering right now are his own.

[@catholicfemininity2126]

God help her... if she didn't know, that really sucks... but I find it hard to believe she didn't know... did she not go to the doctor for years or something? No weird symptoms? Doesn't make sense to me.

[@baileymadison9019]

@@catholicfemininity2126HIV is not something that gives you a rash/ weird feeling until you are almost dead.

[@nanmn9050]

My heart breaks for this young man. Now, 2 years later, I hope he has found his inner strength, friends to support him, and hope for the future. It'd be great if there were updates to this and other episodes.

[@arianarobinson6633]

wow. I’m so sorry sweet one. 💔😩

[@antoinelyons5323]

I agree

[@divinemessenger2030]

Something just feels very weird about this. I feel like she knew she had it. He really needs to focus on his health and not worry about love right now. This is just so sad. I can feel his sadness in the pit of my stomach. I’m gonna pray for him. 🙏🥺😢

[@KatXYZ]

lol he should sue her… I also had a feeling she knew it too

[@highwind8124]

8:48 - [frustrated] "What are you asking me?" He still hasn't asked him where she got it from.

[@cali_love5977]

This is unbelievable. It’s a one in a million chance of this happening. It’s tragic situation and how did this woman NOT know she had this disease. For her to say it’s only my 2nd serious relationship is also unheard of. I think this guy is so checked out of his new reality that he’s not thinking clearly.

[@anonmon8550]

I don’t think it’s unheard of that she’s only been in 2 serious relationships. That’s actually really common. What I’m skeptical of, is the fact that SHE is a nurse, and sexually active but never thought to get screened? I have tattoos and before I was even sexually active, I was getting screen for HIV ( just on principal of that).

[@816928]

It seems unbelievable. I just can't understand how people would be sexually active with HIV and not saying anything? That is criminal.

[@rayannwashington7568]

I know someone else it happened to.

[@johnlu9809]

This dude is stuck for life. The girl friend probably knew but was scared to disclose. Now if he breaks up with her, he needs to disclose this to all the women he dates. No one is going to want to marry him with this disease. It's a virus. Not something that can be cured.

[@reinamacaren-a4132]

There are some who would date but the pickings are slim. there are probably tons well not tons of dating sites where people disclose their illnesses 🤔

[@roolyfe]

Agreed. This is the best he will do. Now even at work you are in healthcare!

[@Justsayingthat]

There are sites where people meet for dating. There are options

[@aundirussell8644]

@@Justsayingthat yep. and it can be controlled.

[@georgemendez6760]

He doesn't have to disclose, stds aren't required to be disclosed (atleast in the u.s) as long as you "aren't aware" of it you can pretty much just spread it around

[@PurpleRose8725]

Surprised he doesn't have some free counseling from Better Help to give callers like this.

[@hellosunshine5]

Who would pay for that?

[@sheleneworland1497]

I realize I’m seeing this long after it was originally posted. But I want to add an experience that will help others realize this does not need to be a death sentence. Back in 1989 when the AIDS epidemic was rocking our world, my uncle was diagnosed with HIV and he did pass from AIDS related complications. His partner at the time was also diagnosed with it. Through good health practices and state of the art medications I am very happy to say that 35 years later he is alive and doing very well. Good advice from Dr. Delaney. I am woo woo in my health beliefs and practices too, but there are some illnesses where conventional medicine can have the best treatments and this is one of them.

[@sarahlennox8963]

Man, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.