Goblins Terrorise Zimbabwe

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[@giannagiavelli5098]

The Goblins in America have been looting stores and burning down cities attacking old people but here we call them y o u t s

[@Jamie-uk2zh]

Young Scholars

[@thomas79marshall]

Aspiring rappers.

[@TheMaleRei]

Future engineers and doctors.

[@RebelNutts-gg1xf]

BASED

[@kathyflorcruz552]

"Teens".

[@yoboyfargoth1208]

Rhodesia didn’t have a goblin problem…

[@andylewis7360]

Goblins are terrified of Cecil Rhodes!

[@thehowlingmisogynist9871]

@@andylewis7360 - Or, Ian Smith!!

[@andylewis7360]

@@thehowlingmisogynist9871Ahh yes! I’d quite forgotten Ian Smith; The Goblin Finder Persuivant of Old Salisbury Town!

[@InquisitorJack]

It had a much worse infestation…commies

[@thefenrisianssweatshop]

It didn’t when my family lived there….

[@tacitus6384]

Zimbabwe - inherited, destroyed. South Africa - inherited, destroyed.

[@granitestateman942]

White Guilt is deadly.

[@williambarnes5023]

London - inherited, destroyed. United States - inherited, destroyed.

[@TheDragiix3]

tbf, the Zulu and Bantu of SA are just as much the descendants of immigrants as the white population

[@FredScuttle456]

London - inherited, given away, destroyed.

[@pietrayday9915]

Another tip for the "Alex Jones was right!" jar.

[@professormallard4348]

You're laughing. They are being attacked by goblins, and you're laughing.

[@GIANLUCANABBO]

Damn right-wing goblins!XD

[@claudiameier666]

what absolutely patheticexcuses for people.

[@GIANLUCANABBO]

@@claudiameier666 at least they didn't blame someone who actually exists

[@ballenboy]

@@GIANLUCANABBO Maybe they are even far-right goblins :P

[@BobMcBobJr]

@@ballenboy Left-wing goblins leave presents under beds and stuff. Right-wing goblins abuse black people for no reason.

[@EvsEntps]

Tolkien was born in South Africa. It turns out Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit were historical accounts of what he witnessed in Africa and not just some fairytales.

[@funkymonkeyman1000]

No it was based off ww1 elf’s Britain proud powerful and cultured the dwarves are the French stubborn use to be powerful empire is crumbling from past losses the orcs were the Germans the new powerful empire that can disrupt the balance in Europe and Rohan is the Americans the ones to come in to end the war

[@jmass4207]

Surely the inspiration for the Elves.

[@NigelWordsworth]

​@@jmass4207found the goblin

[@Ghost3210]

The Lithium Mines of Moria still need to be reclaimed.

[@orthotuber]

Which means he knew about Tokoloshi because black South Africans also believe in them.

[@Retruber]

Oh please, guys. Everyone knows that goblins aren't innately evil. They are doing these things purely due to their own socio-economic factors.

[@BattleBro77]

Yep 100%, goblins are having to do this because of capitalism

[@Torgo1969]

If only they had better schools!

[@BobMcBobJr]

I mean, those poor goblins don't even have basic HUMAN rights. Where is the free goblin housing?

[@PikkeWouter]

I agree. but tokoloshes are demonic in origin while goblins are fey in origin

[@louthinator]

@@PikkeWouter sounds goblinist to me.

[@ReptilianLepton]

"Literal vampire potbelly goblins are hobblin' round coming after us." - Alex Jones

[@DiogenesDworkinson]

The jar overfloweth...

[@AkiNoTsuki]

it runneth over

[@Torgo1969]

Hobgoblins?

[@VnVnV-893]

"the goblins make up 13% of the population but more than 50% of the crime" lol

[@creativeflow5212]

these damn goblins!

[@totomen666]

@@creativeflow5212 First people thought they were orcs - but in the end they act like Goblins.

[@OrdoAbChao-kg5rf]

Goblins bought the enslaved orcs from the ruling orcs and then brought them to Americas for hard labor and destabilizing purposes...via ships OWNED by goblins. These goblins have been exiled from 109 countries.

[@VueiyVisarelli]

Yeah, that was shitty.

[@OrdoAbChao-kg5rf]

@@VueiyVisarelli No.

[@tsitzel4949]

“Literal vampire pot belly goblins are hobblin around come after us”. - Zimbabwean Alex Jones

[@convertpathwalker]

My spirit gets close to that evil and I feel it go “AHH, AAHHH, AAAAHHHHH!”

[@dreamingmusic3299]

"The goblins hate you. This can't be fixed." Scott Adams

[@Honest_Grifter]

"Goddamn, woman. Dont give that monster no three-fiddy" - old Zimbabwean proverb

[@oligultonn]

Another Zimbabwean proverb: A man and his wife were walking past the lake when they meet a child on their way selling bread for a local school. The man decides to buy some in order to assist the child. He asks the child "How much for a loaf?" The child then reaponds "About three-fiddy." The man and the woman realise that this is not a child but merely a goblin in childrens clothes.

[@nw932]

Another Zimbaboon proverb: how many wheelbarrows of 1b notes do I need for food?

[@peterrevens8454]

@@nw932 Not true. The word "wheel" reveals your lie!

[@oligultonn]

@@peterrevens8454 😂😂🤣🤣

[@DiogenesDworkinson]

LMAO... Nice!

[@inglepropnoosegarm7801]

Welcome to 'decolonized' science for the 21st Century.

[@danielstockley5631]

Reporter: How many goblins were there? Local: We don't count them because maths is racist

[@KaiserFaust]

Look, Western bigot man, until your so-called science can explain how the shaman calls down the lightning to strike the tribe’s enemies…

[@awakeandwatching953]

i mean, we aint just gonna dismiss the paranormal out of hand are we? our beloved rulers are certainly believers in the occult, its a lil arrogant to think the religion of science has given us a better understanding of the nature of reality than the mystery traditions of old.. many of which have a not so hidden on going influence on our modern scientific institutions. you just need to know how to read the symbols.. cern is covered in them

[@MrBomuch]

goblins where a problem even during colonial times..they never went away

[@DiogenesDworkinson]

You're not a Christian soul? They have names for ones such as those, too... demon, not goblin.

[@fearthehoneybadger]

Rhodesia exported food, Zimbabwe imports food.

[@juanfranciscovillarroelthu6876]

To bad Rhodesia was build on the Slavary of the mayority of the population, one wonders if Rhodesia was so good, why they needed a masive second class work force and the whites could not do all the work themselves. (same goes for South Africa)

[@scottcantdance804]

​@@juanfranciscovillarroelthu6876one wonders if the "mayority" of the population was really so intelligent and hard working and equal to their old colonial rulers, why is the county in absolute ruin today

[@biggusdickus9148]

Too bad i dont care and understand life was generally better even for the natives​@@juanfranciscovillarroelthu6876

[@villhelm]

Those ‘slaves’ were Bantu’s from the North who had no claim to South Africa or Zimbabwe. They moved there freely.

[@juanfranciscovillarroelthu6876]

@@scottcantdance804 because they did not had the education and experience to run it (also Communist). But that is beyond the point. If Rhodesia wanted to survive they should had made a diferent country for the whites and left the blacks to themselves to built from the ground up.

[@maddogmcgraw5987]

Is this why callum left? So he could go on a goblin hunt with lord miles.

[@BogaSlawa]

"Send forth all legions. Do not stop the attack until Zimbabwe is taken. Grape them all." "What of the wizard?" "I will shave him."

[@grandmufftwerkin9037]

This really highlights our differences of approach; here in the West we elect our goblins into high office.

[@Skelfi]

We even have a high priestess, the doom goblin Greta Thunberg.

[@LuciusC]

yeah like we elected Jim Crow into office and that placated him for a while, but now he's moved on to possessing black people to make them do crime

[@bawsack69]

Cool it with the antisemitic remarks buddy

[@svenboi3965]

Usually the goblins appoint one another without a need for election.

[@deerinheadlights100]

Dont they run wizard banks?

[@DancaniaX]

Alex jones warned us about this.

[@docholiday3800]

😂

[@Lamedvavnik]

Yeah it’s not goblins it’s mutated gay frogs

[@lastmanstanding5423]

@@Lamedvavnik he was right about the gay frogs and he also right about Literal Vampire Potbelly Goblins: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jXiUhmCoptaFeJI

[@imsometaeventhisacronym2545]

L I T E R A L P O T B E L L Y G O B L I N S

[@habibishapur]

Pot belly goblins

[@seandelap8587]

Zimbabwe the ultimate failure of African rule

[@JDH0712]

Zimbabwe is the real Wakanda.

[@dioniscaraus6124]

​@@JDH0712 They're all millionaires

[@l33tninja1]

With how the presidential election is going in Africa this might look like a success in comparison.

[@Stormer-Europa]

Mugabe. Financed by "Bankers" in London. The same with Mandela

[@dewetmaartens359]

Stock standard African country - normal. TIA.

[@chucklebouf5379]

Reminder: These people are equal to us, better even, according to the media. Their culture is superior, this is the enrichment they say we should accept and replace all of Europe with.

[@juneschlebusch6679]

Good grief

[@JURASSICLEGO777]

We are screwed!

[@milesgerschefske6231]

I can hear Cullum just going "wait, I'm sorry, what?" Every time there is a slight pause in this podcast it's like he never left

[@BattleBro77]

Cumlum

[@dapperwolf6034]

Goblin Slayer warned you that the goblin problem was serious but no one listened

[@fajile5109]

Never to be ignored or under estimated.

[@frdsg8350]

13/50 goblin

[@DiogenesDworkinson]

I mean, we jest, but... Alex Jones did warn us.

[@toonrex2806]

Now they’re goblinating everything!

[@SpartacusRyuuou]

Not on his watch! His GAAAAAWBLIN SLAYING watch!

[@mirceazaharia2094]

Sounds like a job for GOBLIN SLAYER!

[@somedandy7694]

"TAAAAABLE! Today's the day I finally BEAT you!"

[@n7quantum472]

Was scrolling to find this comment😆

[@Bloddrake]

Does he have a white hood this time?

[@Mr_Jamin007]

@@n7quantum472 so was I 😁

[@Thoralmir]

​@@Bloddrake Why would he be wearing a hood? Those offer no head protection.

[@wishingwell12345]

Carl: "OK guys I want us to do a segment on the dangers of immigration that won't get flagged by KZbin. Any suggestions?" Josh:

[@lostalone9320]

The Left: "Orcs are coded as blacks!"

[@Chuito12PR]

LMAO New slur for immigrants unlocked

[@SouthernGothicYT]

i personally have liked using "invasive species" lately

[@Codysdab]

Mate, it's just those pesky 'goblins' unless we've now got "anti-fictional beings hate speech rules". 😅

[@goodlookinouthomie1757]

Meanwhile a bunch of Warhammer fans wondering wtf the algo is feeding them a Lotus Eaters video.

[@pietrayday9915]

rush, smack! Whip crack! Smash, grab! Pinch, nab! You go, my lad! Ho, ho! my lad! Down down to Goblin-town.... The black crack! the black crack! The black crack! the black crack! Down down to Goblin-town You go, my lad! Ho, ho! my lad! Down down to Goblin-town... Goblins quaff, and Goblins beat Goblins laugh, and Goblins bleat Batter, jabber, whip and hammer hoooooo! You go, my lad! Ho, ho! my lad! Down down to Goblin-town....

[@skeetercreek6455]

I KNOW THAT BLADE! ITS ORKRIF THE GOBLIN CLEAVER! NOOOOOOO!

[@ALovelyBunchOfDragonballz]

I wont believe they have a goblin problem until the goblins tell them to stop noticing patterns....

[@MaximilianonMars]

Goblins are everywhere. They melt into the background, that's their invisibility. They might be subterranean, using tunnels in large cities where it's harder to roam undetected.

[@IREAPCATS]

You don’t understand guys the goblins built this country and we need them to function properly

[@Anelipka]

This country was built on the backs of goblins

[@harrydavey9884]

😂😂😂

[@deerinheadlights100]

Where would the NHS be without goblins?

[@jungatheart6359]

We need to ensure they are welcomed. They are not safe in France.

[@lesigh1749]

They fight the gremlins who try to dismantle all that goblins made.

[@frdsg8350]

Gretta has landed in Rhodesia

[@Tearsofsoil]

😂

[@vendomnu]

I thought she was against burning coal...

[@davetdowell]

Should have stayed in the Empire, we kept the Goblins under control when we governed it.

[@FredScuttle456]

Separate development.

[@cobusvanzyl5206]

@@FredScuttle456 it’s funny how this population wants to live separate from the poor goblins, almost like apartheid?

[@FredScuttle456]

@@cobusvanzyl5206 Some very, very good comments and replies on this video.

[@stunner9005]

The goblins feared the Union Jack.

[@VonChoker]

I remember a quote from an African being interviewed a few years ago about science. "Can Science explain how the Shaman calls lightning from the sky?" Seems somewhat apt for this segment

[@PhanTasmGoriA]

Goblins have been kicked out of 109 countries, yet it's never their fault.

[@blunderingfool]

@YellowLab-rb6xn Why is it written on a bleedin napkin?!

[@andyfriederichsen]

Which countries, what years, why were they kicked out, and was it all goblins in the country or was it just a select group of them?

[@Threemore650]

@@blunderingfoolwell, communism was. So why not.

[@blunderingfool]

@@Threemore650 Napkins are terrible writing surfaces, that's why. #DownWithNapkinMath

[@RunninUpThatHillh]

andyfriederichsen I'd love to know too.

[@Loehengrin]

The shortest tribe of pygmies are the H'lawee tribe. They live in grasslands where they are seldom seen but often heard amongst the tall grass calling to one another "Where the hell are we?" Hence their name.

[@wesleyfilms]

LOL

[@OffGridInvestor]

Good one

[@DiogenesDworkinson]

Reminds me of the nomadic native american tribe of the fakawii... They wandered for the entirety of their history, always looking for their promised home which they never found, under the guidance of their wise chief, who every sundown as they made camp would go forth and proudly cry out to the heavens "Where the fakk are we!?!"

[@WK-47]

Nice one, Dad.

[@DiogenesDworkinson]

@@WK-47 so nice to see a happy family bonding over a wholesome moment...

[@WaywardHex]

At least they have goblin. We have to contend with orcs.

[@baronvonbowman]

We can only dream of orcs, have trolls to defend against.

[@KT-pv3kl]

Oh we have plenty of goblins as well...

[@AlanAndrei]

Funny if not sad

[@OtterTreySSArmy]

Could be worse, we have devious rat men in America.....

[@aomtaf]

Слава Украïнi!🇺🇦💙💛

[@arisaga822]

Starting to think that maybe, perhaps, just possibly Wakanda isn’t a real place…

[@mattbuckland5848]

You are misinformed, Wakanda sorted this particular problem in the great goblin purge of 74'

[@FredScuttle456]

Wakanda is a real place. Universities, fountains, wide boulevards, prosperity, abundant electricity. Wakanda's real name was Johannesburg. Then the Goblins took over and we know what happened next.

[@equilibrium9272]

Yeah those goddamn prawns landed and took over and some damn Ninja and Chappie robot fucked shit up with some chick named Yolandi in District 9 ​@FredScuttle456

[@GoldenCroc]

​@@equilibrium9272 One of my favorite hard-hitting documentaries, that one.

[@DiogenesDworkinson]

It was... until the goblins came.

[@clangerbasher]

The Dutch had been at the Cape for decades before they saw any blacks. And the blacks they met were Bushmen.

[@deerinheadlights100]

Good times my friend.

[@bsleds4585]

100years before and when we ran in to them they dishonored a deal to get stollen cattel back for land by slautering them and then women and children aswell well documented but they wont face these facts instead we rape muder and steal from them but they were not here in the fitst place so how did we do these things seems a mirrior can answer there accusations that lead to the theaft of south africa and its culture

[@natquesenberry6368]

I used to have a book called "Know Your Trees," by AE Storrs and published by the forestry department of Zambia. It included the Latin and English names of trees, along with pictures, description, names in the local languages, and a description of traditional uses for the tree. These included malaria treatments and REPELLING GOBLINS.(That is literally what the book said). Zimbabwe and Zambia share many plant species in common, so a solution to the Goblin issue might be available in the forest.

[@brucemaximus3797]

Dan's face over this entire episode could be described as "filled with child-like wonder and delight." The second he heard that there was a race of little hunter-gatherer people living in the forests of Africa, he was down for an adventure to meet these magical munchkins.

[@OffGridInvestor]

I can't believe he didn't know they existed for real. I've even seen photos of a pregnant one next to a German guy.

[@grandmufftwerkin9037]

Goblin Lives Matter

[@gregajohnson1985]

No they don't!

[@VnVnV-893]

Mostly peaceful goblin protests

[@Anelipka]

Let's celebrate june as a Goblin History Month

[@sebastianprimomija8375]

Gob hands wrote this...

[@sirg-had8821]

Not really

[@Xenophon1]

Americans wake up and find that Goblins have burned down Autozones.

[@bitty_beastly47]

Imagine an entire continent full of people that really think like this and believe it. Surely, they must have built the world!

[@dorugoramon0518]

The scary thing is that they might be right about the "goblins" existing, considering how ubiquitous demon worship is down there.

[@eros5420]

"I hate goblins." -Alexander Jonius, 21st Century Philosopher and Goblin Slayer Advocate.

[@lowlandnobleman6746]

He was also a part time marine biologist with a well know theory about the affects of chemical pollution of water sources on the mating habits of amphibians. A very prolific man.

[@kagato82]

I didn't realize they had Democrats in Zimbabwe

[@fajile5109]

Who do you think runs the “aid” organizations

[@thefool8224]

@@fajile5109 you forgot the s

[@cobusvanzyl5206]

Like in some other countries, they are in the majority.

[@LaoWatsonSmith]

Its a Marxist regime

[@pavlovsdogman]

No there's no democracy there

[@paulraines9635]

All jokes aside, the pigmies were in West Africa before the Bantu groups. The Bantus are the reason that there are no pigmies outside the Congo rainforest.

[@kittytrail]

nah, it's because they're tasty. kinda like fish 'n chips but without the fishy and them chippies. 😼

[@svenboi3965]

Same with Khoisan bushmen and their current tiny range in South Africa. DNA studies show that at no point in time did bantus ever intermarry with the Khoisan they cleared out from the rest of Africa. Men, women and children all met the same fate and left no genetic mark in bantus until modern times. I presume goblins are responsible.

[@DiogenesDworkinson]

@@kittytrail To be fair, they didn't only eat the pygmies... everyone was on the menu. Very egalitarian that way...

[@kittytrail]

@@DiogenesDworkinson yep but they still do it today, at least in CAR and DRC that i know of. that and the capture of females to be kept as _compact horizontal entertainment devices_ for the well-off ones. 😑

[@maozedong8370]

They are also the reason for the no white people in Africa. These barbarians came, mistook them for albinos and then ate the lot or used them in medicine.

[@radagast7200]

Now goblins are cruel, wicked, and bad-hearted. They make no beautiful things, but they make many clever ones

[@somedandy7694]

Ho-ho, my lad!

[@MrKoobuh]

Luckily they can't breathe underwater. ;)

[@hattimounattimou8258]

are these african or european goblins? i dont think africaan ones make many if any clever things

[@DiogenesDworkinson]

@@MrKoobuh Hold them under and test that theory.

[@AndrewRyan-zv7zb]

Brutally cunning

[@properjob2311]

All civilizations are not equal.

[@R0d_1984]

Many aren't even civilizations...

[@captainbigos9267]

Not all peoples are a civilization, even.

[@bradensmith8682]

Especially Goblin "civilization".

[@WackyIraqi777]

Obviously not. Western civilization is inferior. We don't even acknowledge the goblin crisis!

[@angrycandy5441]

I can't believe Carl interrupted this important Goblin update with that ad.

[@billmelater6470]

"Goblins printed our money" - Zimbabwe

[@h4rdkn0x]

The classic "the goblin ate my homework" defense...

[@tba113]

It's refreshing to see the press finally stop covering up this problem. People have a right to know about the dangers they face.

[@DiogenesDworkinson]

You joke, but...

[@andrewmcguinness1845]

My theory: people with poor impulse control blaming bad decisions on their cultural equivalent of "the Devil made me do it."

[@Vincent-ll7ov]

Reminds me of a story in a South African newspaper (The Sun I think), of a lady harassed by something like a goblin or mystical creature. They interviewed her and she said that she was the only one who could see him and he would come to the shabeen (Township bar) demanding money. If she didn't give enough he would beat her. They also heavily implied that this would happen at any time even when the bar is full. Now, I laughed so hard reading this at the time, because I imagined how it would look to see her being beaten up by an invisible creature, giving some money and seeing that money disappear or float away. I was an exchange student, and ask some African students about this, but they were convinced that this was really happening and not a joke...

[@weareharbinger914]

I'm amazed at how well they kept this shitpost going without laughing.

[@VnVnV-893]

Truly a masterclass. The algorithm never stood a chance

[@viorp5267]

that is a very Callum segment. I miss him :

[@bartsanders1553]

And John

[@wesleyfilms]

Where’s Callum gone?

[@chairmanmeow8388]

​@@wesleyfilmsto Zimbabwe to steal underwear and to shave heads.

[@xaxfixho]

Harare, Zimbabwe

[@crktritual]

This segment was made for Callum, the beloved short king. Like all angles, he flew away too soon 😢

[@BlackQback]

This brings back to mind Sargon's wonderful "All cultures are beautiful" series...

[@kaizokujimbei143]

I sure hope he meant that ironically....

[@BlackQback]

@@kaizokujimbei143 You can still watch it and decide for yourself 😉.

[@kaizokujimbei143]

@@BlackQback I just watched the first episode. Mgadi, India. He's being ironic.

[@BlackQback]

@@kaizokujimbei143 Keep watching. Aside from being educational, it's also (a bit dark, but still) comedy gold. "Sponsored by Tourist boards of..." 😂

[@GoldenCroc]

"Luxury vampires" etc. Good times.

[@ceruleanswim]

Wow thanks for your earnest research on this serious topic. Thank goodness Europe is goblin free thanks to magic soil. Must welcome all these victims of goblin trickery!

[@abb5596]

I love the idea of these Africans discovering this video and completely missing the sarcasm, believing the story to have garnered international attention

[@Grumbledookvid]

Goblins are a legitimate threat and vastly underrated

[@sik3xploit]

False report. Everyone knows goblins only come out male.

[@Jonas-lj8ul]

So are kobolds, but only in large numbers or to low-level, unprepared adventurers.

[@tarektechmarine8209]

@@sik3xploit I dunno, seen a lot of female goblins, like majority. the internet takes it as a joke and makes pretty ones, but don't be fooled.

[@DiogenesDworkinson]

Here, here! Nothing a little cold iron and burning steel can't fix!

[@sigloophold]

Is anyone else becoming nostalgic for colonialism?

[@granitestateman942]

Not a exact redo, but rather, smarter, deeper, longer. No white guilt, no half-assing it. Gotta go full Empire. Let All willing EU countries have colonies. No fighting amongst each other at home or abroad. A united continental effort!

[@marvalice3455]

Empire destroys the home nation. Do you really want to be responsible for these people?

[@alegro4046]

@@granitestateman942 lol

[@DiogenesDworkinson]

My guess? All of former Rhodesia is...

[@PauloZunguze]

Oh no, not the goblins, anything but the goblins.

[@reinhardtburger7108]

Tikoloshe, it's worse!!!!

[@xaxfixho]

Kwana

[@DiogenesDworkinson]

Ask what the soldiers found in the caves of Afganistan... red hair and six fingers, twice the height of any man...

[@wheeliebin18]

If it's not the Lithium Goblins, it's the Cobalt Kobolds!

[@DovidM]

The Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland alludes to the use of mercury by hatmakers. Mercury was required in the manufacture of felt.

[@Tatian4191]

In my experience, Goblins do not take extra damage from holy weapons, so I fear the Clerics’ work is in vain. Might I suggest hiring in an eclectic band of low level, albeit plucky, adventurers instead.

[@joegaskins7950]

This is sage advice traveller. This Goblin menace vexes me.

[@Doomsday_Report]

I've been reliably informed that "goblins ill like fire" so maybe take that into account.

[@gregorytaylor9104]

You'll need backup from elves

[@entropybear5847]

Drug-fueled psychosis, group hysteria, flimsy excuses, take your pick. This is what we're importing, btw.

[@luckyaristotle]

Pretty sure it’s actually goblins

[@mistahsusan2650]

cease with your goblin denying ways OP

[@wesleyfilms]

Goblin denier detected.

[@OffGridInvestor]

Flimsy excuses is my pick. It's a cultural commonality.

[@EdgyDabs47]

Anti-goblinite conspiracy theorist

[@gregajohnson1985]

Ghouls are an Eastern hemisphere thing. Goblins are a Western hemisphere thing. We get both here in America.

[@skull-chan7703]

As a goblin i feel insulted, this is slander and I demand a cheese wheel as an apology.

[@xenomorph6961]

Odd isn't it. When society allows you to blame social/economic factors or you own personal identity for you failures people will use that excuse. And when society allows you to blame goblins for various ills, people will use that excuse. There may be something worth looking into here.

[@andylewis7360]

It started with one teenage Swedish DoomGoblin. Now it’s spread to Zimbabwe. Whatever next? The UN?!?

[@Maddog3060]

Nothing of value would be lost.

[@KT-pv3kl]

You would be surprised how many disguised goblins are holding high positions of power all around the world....

[@andylewis7360]

@@KT-pv3kl I wouldn’t ya know 😌

[@andylewis7360]

@@Maddog3060 True. The UN is just a high-value retirement home for ambitious politicians

[@Athetos_Admech]

Isn't the UN run goblins?

[@artistreality]

Interestingly when I have an empty bottle of jameson whiskey the local goblin on the dance floor magically turns into a runway model of absolute perfection. Unfortunately in the morning when the potion wears off, the screaming begins, oh how I scream at the sight of that goblim. It's a 'spiritual' awakening to be sure.

[@carlbrown9082]

For those who know Zimbabwe, this is not a surprise. People are still very open to cultural religious and spiritual influence.

[@pallasathena1369]

Yes, The Tokoloshi...

[@OffGridInvestor]

And under the influence of spirits (particularly whiskey)

[@pallasathena1369]

@@OffGridInvestor i wonder how lucrative this is for witch doctors...

[@gavinr4214]

Open? For those that understand iq this is not a surprise.

[@Voidwurm1701]

Guys it's called Zimbabwe what did anyone expect.

[@malkomalkavian]

Once goblins get in, it is very hard to get them out again

[@musashidanmcgrath]

I've seen some recent footage from Poland. Since the EU migration pact Poland is in the early stages of 'Goblinisation'. Yes, sadly, the goblin infestation and replacement project has now reached Poland.

[@BattleBro77]

I hear Japan has started to have increasing levels of goblin problems as of late. We live in the age of strife.

[@llamasugar5478]

Damn. I had such hopes for Poland.

[@joshuabessire9169]

I thought goblins were little ugly things that break engines and destroy crops, usually while shouting "How dare you!"

[@VnVnV-893]

You mean Greta?

[@richardaaron4454]

I thought that was a gremlin lol

[@gusty7153]

@@richardaaron4454 i mean technically gremlins are dwarf goblins

[@lefroy1]

We wuz Goblanz 'n sheeit

[@granitestateman942]

Sheeeeeeeeiiiiiittt! Wakanda!

[@OffGridInvestor]

Might STILL BE!

[@VnVnV-893]

​@@OffGridInvestorthe goblin community has a diversity problem

[@dorugoramon0518]

I still find it funny YT is giving me the option to translate Goblinese to English

[@keiranbradley3238]

"Why would the Goblins do this?" . That's the age old question philosophers and mystics have struggled with for millenia,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, a vexing conundrum indeed!.

[@aaronfarnsworth7653]

This video is an example of why the colonization period, for many areas of the world, was actually a high point of their cultures. Watching Stelios trying not to laugh was the most entertaining part of the video.

[@ah1rooivalk]

Salt Water, is actually a common way Africans use to get rid of evil spirts and creatures.

[@Thoralmir]

"This is a goblin nest, full of goblin vomit and goblin lies!"

[@daywither927]

Literal potbelly goblins

[@brawndothethirstmutilator9848]

Hoblin’ around

[@christianjensen9174]

Coming after us

[@raclark2730]

Some of them are gay.

[@danielmoran3233]

“I’m not having it, there are goblins in Africa.” Dan is hilarious.

[@johnhutchison874]

Everyone knows that Tokoloshe attacks can be stopped by lifting your bed with bricks.

[@TheGuyInTheCheapSeats]

The weird thing is I listened to a Bedtime Stories video about the tokoloshe a few days before this.

[@NormALMann42069]

This is the kind of cutting-edge journalism I have come to expect from the Lotus Eaters.

[@FALLINGJIGSAW]

Alex Jones warned us! But did we listen??? NO!!! May god help us all for the end is surely neigh!

[@kaizokujimbei143]

The end is horsing around?

[@R0d_1984]

There were many before him...

[@raddersmyhero]

Neigh lad, the end is nigh! 😝

[@maculatus67]

Growing up in South Africa, our domestic workers would place a concrete breeze block under each leg of their bed to raise the bed up out of reach of the ubiquitous Tokoloshe.

[@gregorytaylor9104]

That explains the stunning success of the ANC

[@bsleds4585]

It was rediculas when i was 10years old and saw the same thing and still is today and they say all cultures are equal and to think we treated our staff like family only for them to sue my grand parents for evrthing we earend

[@kimmogensen4888]

We tell stories about the goblins, trolls, elves in Scandinavia to children but it’s like with Santa Claus a great story to light up children’s imagination, and they are usually not told as something dangerous, and adults don’t believe them to be real just a story

[@hawktondog]

We need to import millions of these people to save them from the Goblins or something

[@catharperfect7036]

They invented science because sharpened rock or something... I forget. So yeah, we can only benefit by importing them.

[@lewis1544]

I'd rather we import the goblins to keep these people out.

[@TheVampireFreddo]

"There could be goblins around here." He thought. "I HATE goblins!"

[@My-Name-Isnt-Important]

It's common when foreign medical aid groups have successfully treated individuals suffering from Ebola, when they travel back to their village, they're attacked and many times killed or forced to flee. Since the people of the village just assume the person had died from Ebola and this person that has returned is a possessed zombie. Just like Albino children in African villages are usually forced to flee, since if they stay they'll be attacked and killed, due to the villagers thinking they're cursed with evil spirits and are a danger to the village. Africa is extremely superstitious and backward, and it's also common for people to blame various things on imaginary creatures.

[@IrvingTwin]

"Goblins? In MY birth canal?" It's more likely than you think...

[@BattleBro77]

Yep I've heard of prenatal goblins, it's an epidemic

[@nicolaspeigne1429]

Send Vaush

[@roman..leave.me.to.my.circles]

Literal vampire potbelly goblins Are hobbling around coming after us My spirit gets close to that evil and I feel it go Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh!

[@Alaska_Mac]

Remember kids, all cultures are beautiful, equal, and deserving of respect.

[@castaliaspiruni6201]

I love how they smile like children when they just use the word 'goblins' instead of the correct word.

[@gameofjones4644]

If they were real goblins people would be waking up with 80s glam hair and really tight trousers, not shaved heads and women"s under garments...

[@captainmurphy4948]

If only dance magic worked.

[@OffGridInvestor]

These are non trendy African goblins

[@Lucky13Ravens]

​@@captainmurphy4948Onto jump magic then.

[@Lucky13Ravens]

@YellowLab-rb6xn They stole a child?!?!

[@pallasathena1369]

From what i remember, the goblin king didn't seem to be wearing underpants... Bowie lives on... 😆

[@somedandy7694]

Lads! This calls for Goblin Slayer Abridged quotes. You know what to do!

[@giannagiavelli5098]

I got pulled over for speeding and once I explained to the officer that my car had been infected with goblins she replied that she had the same problem with her cousin and that the goblin is had to be stopped

[@MinskUK]

Goblins are their strength

[@AllinWhenPlaying]

This is the society they can build when not "colonized"

[@NearlyH3adlessNick]

Dan's emphatic "There's a scientific paper _right there!"_ is *golden!*

[@mastermonkeyman34]

So, have we figured out what exactly is wrong with Sub-Sahara yet?

[@rudi5139]

Sure, but we didn‘t like what we found out. So it can‘t be true.

[@mastermonkeyman34]

@@rudi5139 can you give me a clue? Maybe a word that rhymes with it?

[@theodoremartin2355]

​@@mastermonkeyman34 not white people?

[@KT-pv3kl]

No bears!

[@OffGridInvestor]

​@@KT-pv3klno moose either. They wouldn't allow goblins to mess around!

[@littleamycat]

This is a Callum segment, man miss him. Dan playing along has me in stitches every time.

[@lesigh1749]

And still we have politicians in the UK of African origin who insist that all cultures are equal and just as worthy as our own.

[@blues1331]

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