Gone Home - Hey Ash Whatcha Playin'?

The Burchs discuss the merits of length vs quality vs lesbians.
Season 5 - Episode 01
Gone Home - Hey Ash Whatcha Playin'?
By Anthony Burch, Ashly Burch, and Justin Yngelmo
"Essence of Paul Blart" by AJ LoCascio @AJLoCascio
Credit Music: "The Massacre" by FantomenK / fantomenk
www.heyash.com
Support us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/hawp?ty=h

[@BigGeekEmpire]

"The closer I am to the grave when I'm done with a game the better a game it was." Beautiful.

[@rachelsk9944]

Bioshock infinite without combat and with lesbians sounds like life is strange.

[@dadgbe4834]

may smith *COUGH* Ashly = Chloe *COUGH* But I bet you already knew.

[@maxcaulfield3666]

may smith Well, I won't say it's not true...

[@dadgbe4834]

Max Caulfield There are just.. better ways to describe it. :P

[@maxcaulfield3666]

***** Yeees???? Well, I mean, this girl had Chloe's voice. I had to watch her videos.

[@maxcaulfield3666]

Foxy Williams Exactly. :)

[@ThatOneShyguyCartoons]

Mall Cop Lesbians sounds like a bad porno.

[@ginkner]

Skullduggery Paul Blart Mall Cop Lesbians sounds like a good porno.

[@TotallyNotUni]

It probably exists.

[@Mollifier16616111]

Totally Not Sonic it does exist

[@ThatOneShyguyCartoons]

Ben Paul Blart Mall Cop Lesbians 2: Electricboobaloo?

[@DaisukeKigurou]

Wait so there is asian women with causian women, and males also performing homsexual acts as well? Sounds like an interesting porno with a click baity name, well whatever floats your boat so as long as most of them are in mall cop clothing...

[@jessecox]

Makes sense to me...

[@gus827]

***** Nothing makes sense to you Jesse

[@redfivedruidofthenorth4399]

***** :o from the darkness of the internet it's jesse yay

[@MrDrPfrPatrick]

***** Of COURSE it makes sense to the man with 120,000 episodes of a Skyrim Playthrough :P

[@SUFHolbek]

***** Paul Blart: Mall Cop

[@nakenmil]

***** Jesse!

[@yanipheonu]

Burch Dad, I missed you.

[@MurmursInSleep]

yanipheonu We all do. We all do.

[@D33ZGUYZ]

Papa Burch*

[@kuhascoat3417]

yanipheonu Almost as good as Chuck Norr **snap**

[@ulyssescolmstock4197]

Amen

[@DodgyJeph]

+yanipheonu Wait, did papa burch die?

[@crazypants88]

Papa Burch is my spirit animal

[@MadnessTVGames]

crazypants88 Oh God I missed him =(

[@JanPospisilArt]

crazypants88 That's racist.

[@storytellersd]

+JanPospisil42 No it isn't - is cultural appropriation. There's a difference.

[@JanPospisilArt]

storytellersd No it isn't. Is.

[@storytellersd]

+JanPospisil42 I am Native, so double fuck off.

[@doctoreggnog6644]

Hey, the outro isn't ten times louder than the rest of it anymore. I like that!

[@thomaster8870]

Raymond Williams Your avatar says: "I approve!".

[@thomaster8870]

We're getting there. Just a couple more years! Can't wait to get 69'd! Oh gosh, I'mmm so excitteeeed!

[@Lightscribe721]

8 years later and this remains the HAWP episode that lives rent-free in my brain

[@GetBant]

"The closer I am to the grave when I'm done with a game, the better a game it was" Actually had me laughing out loud, BEST LINE in anything 2015

[@CapedJoel]

Oh Papa Burch you are the HAWP secret Weapon even all this time later.

[@haymaker710]

I'm in lesbians with Ash.

[@alalalala57]

Jon Haymaker We all are.

[@kanalithviper4744]

The other l word

[@nolongerzombiedoe4729]

rose, you cant be "in lesbian" with a person

[@blossomingbeelzebub]

@@nolongerzombiedoe4729 its a reference to scott pilgrim

[@quinnmarchese6313]

@@nolongerzombiedoe4729 r/whoosh

[@zgamer49]

Oh wow, that was a really goo- PAUL BLART MALL COP PAUL BLART MALL COP PAUL BLART MALL COP PAUL BLART MALL COP.

[@mrlinkthe1337]

zgamer49 PAUL BLART MALL COP PAUL BLART MALL COP PAUL BLART MALL COP PAUL BLART MALL COP PAUL BLART MALL COP PAUL BLART MALL COP

[@GahMyEyes]

mrlinkthe1337 PAUL BLART MALL COP PAUL BLART MALL COP PAUL BLART MALL COP PAUL BLART MALL COP PAUL BLART MALL COP PAUL BLART MALL COP

[@ted5610]

zgamer49 lesbians

[@richardblack1588]

it's hypnotizing... o_o

[@abeautifulend9163]

zgamer49 MALL BLART PAUL COP MALL BLART PAUL COP MALL BLART PAUL COP MALL BLART PAUL COP MALL BLART PAUL COP MALL BLART PAUL COP MALL BLART PAUL COP MALL BLART PAUL COP MALL BLART PAUL COP MALL BLART PAUL COP MALL BLART PAUL COP MALL BLART PAUL COP MALL BLART PAUL COP MALL BLART PAUL COP MALL BLART PAUL COP MALL BLART PAUL COP

[@Failtuna]

Dad is playing Spelunky, a game which is essentially 2 hours long. Well done for that little touch.

[@WLDFLD]

Failtuna Uhhhh most people who play Spelunky (and don't quit bc it's too difficult) have 70-100 hours on it I've got over 250

[@Failtuna]

WLDFLD I have played over 3000 deaths on Spleunky, it is possible though to finish the game in around 2 hours with skill and repeated play.

[@rubykr]

Failtuna I would say it's possible to beat the game in roughly 45 minutes on a normal run with a bit of skill and patience. I suppose if you were to think about how long it would take from installing the game to beating Olmec for a normal person I would say the game is something like 12 hours long (and another 12 if you want to go after Yama but don't have all of the fundamentals down).

[@WLDFLD]

Failtuna Are we talking about one single run, or the total amount of time you spend on the game? The latter seems to make more sense given what the hawp episode is about. But if you want to talk about one run, yes, I have gotten the "speedlunky" achievement and my record is a little under 6 minutes.

[@Failtuna]

WLDFLD Kind of both, I think that someone could get good enough at the game in around 2 hours to do a single run easily.

[@nuropsych1]

God, I love this series.

[@whoisboba4]

I know right best place to watch videos

[@JisGay-xq3zj]

Person: Lesbian Ash: BLEHHGGGGGGG *1 year later* Ash: *gets a role in Steven Universe* Me: .........

[@Crusher99a]

And life is strange

[@avocadox2730]

wait she was in steven universe???

[@feprastyo8859]

funny it comes from cloe price

[@12ryanjackson]

SEASON 5!!!! I'M SO EXCITED! I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT! IM GONNA LOSE CONTROL!

[@paullooney3650]

***** And I think you like it ;)

[@KLOUDEDITS]

***** SAAAAAAAAAAAAAME

[@pigsquealingcore]

PAPA BURCH! Fuck yeah!

[@sobek]

Cookie Monsta its been too long...

[@msfattytroll]

Nazgûl and I'm lost without you What am I gonna do? Said I been needin' you, wantin' you Wonderin' if you're the same and who's been with you Is your heart still mine? I wanna cry sometimes I miss you

[@FoxEatingBamboo]

Option A: Pay for this game. Spend about two hours snooping about and learning interesting things about some lesbians' lives that come together to tell a story. Option B: Break into friends' apartment. Do the same for free.

[@o_o_o_o_o-o_o_o_o_o]

prezzies ain't a thing

[@SkullBran]

FoxEatingBamboo Option C: Watch Paul Blart Maul Cop

[@Natalie2622828]

I am SO glad this is back. Ashly brightens my day.

[@ohsnapitscaat]

LESBIANS

[@Scubadog_]

***** BLAARGHGH

[@ohsnapitscaat]

xD

[@skuzza405]

***** HURGH HUUIUUUUUUURGH HUUUUR- *Nuclear orgasm*

[@evrbody]

***** hoooollllaaaggghh

[@phnexOice]

HUGHHHHH

[@Candyfog]

Now I imagine this as Chloes reaction after Max kissed her...

[@dennis15510]

Candyfog Spoiler much...

[@Candyfog]

The cake is a lie and Harry Potter dies

[@dragoniguana]

Candyfog That's why she made Max go get breakfast right after. "Max, leave the room. I need to be alone."

[@Candyfog]

Totally xD

[@maxcaulfield3666]

dragoniguana It all makes sense now...

[@400KrispyKremes]

I love this show. I'm so glad it's back.

[@robbiekop7]

400KrispyKremes This is why 82% of Americans think that Joan Of Ark was Noah's wife btw :D

[@Irraptured]

:(

[@Realgigclin]

i became a lesbian and a mall cop from this video 10/10

[@ChrisnonymousGaming]

I bet Ash loved working as Chloe..... LESBIANS!

[@killergranny100]

so happy this is back! I watched all of the previous episodes a few weeks ago and now i get to do it all again :D

[@RikoshiKisaragi]

I didn't realize how much I'd needed more Papa Burch in my life until now.

[@ScottJFox]

Rikoshi Kisaragi aew;qj2 ;tlkjasdf;lkjs

[@jonathancampos7297]

anyone else think that Ash is is the real life Louise from Bob's Burgers?

[@YipYapYoup]

Thank god you guys are back!

[@joshuawalker8026]

Love it guys! Well worth the wait. Cannot wait for more.

[@Resident_Legal]

Ashly should have way more subscribers than PewDiePie! I still don't get why that guy has the most subscribed KZbin channel in the world?!

[@Tombbistol]

I know...As well as I enjoyed his videos,but when I knew that he's in Guinness for most popular youtuber ,I was ...just shocked...His subscriber number divides 10or 20 feels like a more reasonable amount for me .(No disrespect !)

[@Resident_Legal]

His videos are still boring as fuck. My favorite Gaming KZbinrs are Ashly Burch, Dashie and The Red Brad :) As much as I love Ashly's show I'd love to see her videos be more like Brad's and Dashie's .

[@mycouchpullsoutbutidont9804]

Dashie and Papa Burch are my gods

[@shinpansen]

PewDiePie is more famous because his videos aren't original. HAWP has a very specific kind of humour, so it's a love/hate situation. While pdd is not good but not bad, and that's enough for most people.

[@Resident_Legal]

Originality is what I love about Ashly. The world is so full of deja vus, remakes and cliches nowadays. Most gamers only upload their gameplay walkthroughs w/ their commentary which is dumb to watch if you ask me because I can buy my own game and play it myself instead of watching some random players spoil any game's story for me by visiting their gaming channels. Ashly is showing us her true acting talent along with her humor, and she is actually a beautiful & successful actress who is probably gonna be the next Laura Bailey of the video game voice acting industry :)

[@NEMESSIS1987]

Glad to see u guys back!! :)

[@TheProfessor529]

It's great to have you guys back.

[@CatieDollFace204]

0:14-0:26 LOL XD Ash's face is hilarious

[@pjy42]

So glad your back , totally awesome .

[@Aeshir2]

BEST ONE IN A WHILE GUYS. THIS IS SO GOOD

[@MrRoKenshin]

Is it possible for something to be both expected and surprising at the same time because this video encompasses that perfectly. Looking forward to more Season 5.

[@retardo1000]

Is not about the lenght, but the girth.

[@manateez9575]

this is so good i watched all of the episodes of this show within 4 days then i waited and waited for s5 and i got it i love this content!

[@The999slayer]

I haven't laughed that hard at something in a long time. This video struck me right in the giggle bone. Thank you.

[@FyberOptic]

You wouldn't think the outro theme could get any better, but it did!

[@Ctarl]

I never comment on ANYTHING! But I am so glad you guys are back. ~Been followin since the City Folk vid on the old channel lol.

[@hydrochoerushydrochaeris5298]

This was worth the wait for season 5. I love every single hawp episode from day one.

[@starfire4ever100]

YESSSSSSSS. MY FAVORITE KZbin CHANNEL IS BACK, BABY!

[@derpistsloth9647]

The support is on its way. KEEP THIS SHOW ALIVE. ALIVE I SAY.

[@spookiehippie2893]

So my friend showed me your videos because she thinks we look a lot a like. Really glad she did because your hilarious!

[@PapoOv]

God that was amazing, I forgot how funny u guys can be :D

[@badbadthingss]

YES!!! MY FAVORITE KZbin CHANNEL IS BACK!!! FINALLY! DO ONE FOR DISHONORED!!

[@DeathMetalGhost]

This episode was fantastic. It's like they were never gone.

[@mass2511]

May be my favourite episode yet. Ty

[@WilliamJakespeareProps]

awesome video guys!

[@alisaattles2986]

LOOOOOOOOL YES ever since the Lips episode and the Girl Games episode ive never stopped laughing. thank you for another season!

[@DrZiggy87]

Finally! A non sponsored episode. Welcome back!

[@YimmyBTG]

I don't know why people give you guys shit. This is awesome!!!

[@ChristopherSmith-rh1ou]

So I found this channel initially due to Jacksepticeye mentioning Ash in life is strange episode 4 and now I am wondering where this channel has been since it's creation because these videos are hilariously amazing and deserve waaaaaaay more ratings. ;u;

[@uber21]

WOOHOO YOU'RE BACK!

[@Calekoflight]

I never realized that I took the logic of 10$ = 2 hours of entertainment thing from Papa Burch...I've been using this logic to justify microtransaction purchases in free to play games if I've gotten so many hours of fun out of them.

[@markallman418]

OMG finally you brought back Papa Burch! He's the best :D

[@gallopingLake6]

Welcome back HAWP. I missed you.

[@CraniumOnEmpty]

holy shit... I've watched this channel like literally forever, and just realized that in a way, you're all parodies of the internet. literally... forever!

[@lukek.5773]

made my day, keep up the excellent work! Really wish you had been at Omniexpo so I could bask in your glory!

[@mysteryinc8131]

this game is kinda like life is strange but.. different

[@maxcaulfield3666]

Chloe Price Chloe, not only does that girl SOUND like you but she does exactly what you do when lesbians are mentioned.

[@mysteryinc8131]

You know it

[@pokeyman112]

+Max Caulfield Chloe is voice acted by Ashly actually :D

[@FinalFirebrand]

Hooray for Papa Burch! Always makes these better.

[@piotrgorski3660]

Ahh After all those years I still love you guys, funny, I've just finished gone home. Funny, this video

[@YMilkshake]

Yisss youre back :D

[@ericfaulk2204]

OMG! I thought there was just one HAWP that I had missed, but it's a new one and it's hilarious! BWAHAHAHAHA! My life is complete!

[@4rjohny5]

Freaking Hillarious! you inspire me to write more comedy Anthony : ) instant sub.

[@PLISSTRONG]

More of the old guy he's funny

[@SpiderKiwi]

"The closer I am to the grave when im done with it the better" okay me

[@ArticJane]

i so missed this show!

[@ZbladeVX]

you ppl make my day LOL!!

[@kezothehappylurker787]

1:37!? Where has this channel been hiding all my life, and why am I *just* now finding out about it!? *_SUBBED_*

[@gilby123]

LMFAO...Oh how I've missed you guys

[@realstarfarts]

Seriously, what the fuck is going on in that toaster oven?

[@DaSuDanesi]

krazyorange I think it's the reflection of a ceiling fan. I originally thought it might be the TV's reflection, but the direct view of it didn't show the refresh scanning effect, so ruled it out.

[@Xencam]

krazyorange I thought it was like on fire or something lol. Glad I'm not the only one to notice it.

[@ghoulishcunt]

krazyorange It's a Spider Rave.

[@RamadaArtist]

krazyorange Cooking a cat. There's no other explanation.

[@jasontran7804]

Honestly this is the hardest I've laughed watching your videos in awhile. Guerrilla Faction is as funny as this. This has to be one of the best channels (In My Opinion) ever!

[@jasontran7804]

Red Faction: Guerrilla* .

[@MoonspiderHugs]

man, it feels like forever.... yay!

[@nckv]

The second part of this video is a timeless masterpiece

[@DiabloBiscuit]

Watching this video with the auto-generated captions makes this video even funnier!!!

[@MatthewGoodfellow]

I am so delighted for the fifth season!

[@KLOUDEDITS]

OMFG!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!! SEASON 5 HELLA YES!!

[@laurennicole3507]

YESSS SEASON 5 I'M SO PUMPED

[@bossfight1]

It was actually Anthony Burch on twitter who made me get Gone Home, and I loved it to death.

[@codisarloresnick1799]

Yes they're back

[@Nkipker]

Epic ending segment!

[@trowhammerdespoilerofgalax2423]

FINALLY New Season!

[@SeptemusHeap]

Instantly Subscribed

[@twingtwang5547]

Thank you so much.

[@BrensJoint]

Bloody hell, I missed you all.

[@TheFreestyleMGC]

Omg sooo happy!!!!!

[@Oli_Ball]

You just earned a sub!

[@ChannelAbsoluteZero]

I tried watching this to get an answer as to whether I should get the game. Then I remember I was watching HAWP I miss this show... GLAD TO SEE IT COME BACK WITH SEASON 5

[@LemonadepieX]

Now that he said it...... watching it 10 times in a row, Paul Blart Mall Cop is the greatest movie of all time.

[@travis2953]

I think about this weekly

[@anthonymerryman5026]

Finally, a new episode, I was hoping they can make another season, U.S.

[@1234667gato]

Increíble video sigan así ;)

[@mattcarter6158]

Hawp! Its been too long

[@MrEPIC0CITY]

This was perfect.

[@claclarolo1]

I loved Gone Home so much. Even on the 2nd play through. The first time i just expected something horrible, or sinister to happen. everything just pointed to that. I liked that anticipation, then piecing the family together on the 2nd go.

[@lotsagold]

worth the wait

[@lonesn1per]

Oh yeah!!! Old school hawp is back!

[@Gigatless]

Lesbians.

[@otiszmd1809]

BWUAHHHHAAAAA

[@shinpansen]

But I thought Ash was a lesbian (at least in the show). Still funny btw :p

[@fedorafinder]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

[@SuperXEYEX]

They are back bby!!!!!!!!!