Goodbye To Blue

Original Composition by Joe Class
When I wrote the first version of this song I had been listening to the Tibetan lama ‪@MingyurRinpoche‬ talking about his childhood struggles with anxiety. As I recall, his father had advised him to "make friends with his panic." As he learned to see it approaching and to greet it as an old traveling companion, he found he could not only accept it, but even feel love for it. And when that happened, it left him.
At the time I was inspired by the idea that, if I could learn to regard the heaviness within me as my oldest friend (which was totally accurate), either I would gain a kind of inner confidante, or it would be satisfied/fulfilled and evanesce. So I drew from Churchill's metaphor of depression as a "black dog" to imagine a needy, wearisone pet who had been with me through the hardest years of my life.
The original version of verse 3 closed with, "His clouded eyes said 'Thanks for never giving up on us'" and "His old tail wagged goodbye as I held Blue". It always felt cumbersome in the mouth and not terribly natural emotionally. They say songs are never finished, only abandoned. As I played it through over and over again, the more clunky lyrics gave way, one by one, to something better. When I got to Blue's dying, it just felt like I wasn't doing my old friend justice. I looked into his cloudy eyes inside me, and he borrowed my dear friend's kind and honest use of the word "heavy" to describe the love that was all he could ever have offered me, and I found myself willingly accepting that heavy love for what it was. Then when I started practicing the new lyrics, I got to the last chorus and broke down in tears as I realized that Blue was singing the refrain back to me in my own voice. He was bearing witness to MY howling, MY loss for words, MY barrier to accepting affection, MY Eeyore cloud...with NO judgment, but with honesty and deepest affection. He suddenly had a soul all his own, like Pinocchio becoming a real boy. Even though the song is about letting go, in a way it's really about finding each other on our own terms. Like reclaiming a projection, the loss was of the barrier/boundary between us, which had always been ephemeral/illusory.
Lyrics:
On manhood’s stony threshold
Full of life or…something else
Still learning what this world was all about
Unbidden and unnoticed,
A wanderin’ shadow caught my heel
And lay down across my life
Refusing to get out
Fur as black as raven’s wing
With drooping tail and ears
A face that faced his life without a clue
I didn’t have a choice,
He wasn’t going anywhere
Looked in his eyes and said
“I guess I’ll call you Blue.”
Chorus:
Your howlin’ kept me up most every night till 3 AM
Though you never had the words for what you needed
And everyone who met you tried to pet you and show you love
But your head hung low, and that gloomy sigh repeated
You couldn’t leave my side, though time to time I begged you to
I never had another friend so loyal and so true
Life feels a little lighter, but a little hollow, too.
Cause today I had to say goodbye to Blue
Mary had a little lamb,
But I’m stuck with this old hound
Just the same, he followed me to school
Ate my homework and my laundry
Kept the pretty girls at bay
His stock and trade was pity
Rather than in playing cool
Late for class and late for work
Tryin’ to keep him warm and fed
To the bewilderment of everyone I knew
I hate to think how often I wished
That one of us was dead
Instead of spending one more night alone with Blue
(Chorus)
Each soul that shows up in our lives
Is purposefully placed
To bear witness to those struggles that
We’re brave enough to face
The bitterness of life will give the sweet a sweeter taste
And the blues build our capacity for grace
Gradually his iridescent coat gave way to silver
And time’s slow plodding slowed his plodding, too
His cloudy eyes said, “Heavy love was all I had to give
But all I have to give, I give to you.”
Though your howlin’ kept me up most every night till 3 AM
But you never had the words for what you needed
And everyone who met you tried to pet you and show you love
But your head hung low, and that gloomy sigh repeated
I couldn’t leave your side, though time to time you begged me to
I never knew another friend so loyal or so true
Now I feel so much lighter, but a little hollow, too.
Cause today was my last chance to be your Blue
Goodbye, my faithful friend.
And thank you, Blue.

[@joseluiselvirad]

Otro buen trabajo, me ha gustado mucho, enhorabuena desde Madrid y gracias por compartirlo, like 9

[@moparat]

Peter shared this with me. Beautiful!

[@kiritox8379]

Je tombe par hasard sur la vidéo et même si je comprends rien a l’anglais c’est très joli j’aime beaucoup !!