Grandfather Molested Me as a Child. (What Should I Do?)

Grandfather Molested Me as a Child. (What Should I Do?)
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[@denisebradley8151]

My first husband died of skin cancer when he was 30 years old. Three weeks before he passed he told me he had been repeatedly molested by his step father starting around the age of 7 or 8. It really messed him up. He wanted me to know because he didn’t want our two little girls to be left with his mother for babysitting because he said she is not capable of protecting children from the men in her life.

[@jackimackenzie4251]

This angers me in the worst way I'm some one who told and stud up and nothing was done va beach vabeach

[@amandabrynn6853]

I’m very sorry for your loss and that is so sad he was wronged in that way. I hope other children aren’t hurt by him. God bless you and your kids

[@vickyandersen8660]

That's a caring father. Always protect your child from the perpetrator and the ones who let it happen

[@stellabella5269]

😪😪😪😪

[@Emjay0025]

The fact they sent her on a 9 day vacation with her molester is horrifying. NEVER EVER EVER. I will ALWAYS believe my daughter.

[@GameChanger597]

That floored me. Not only did her mom allow it, but her father allowed it too?! Unbelievable. And I don't buy that grandma didn't believe her. I think Grandma wanted to pretend it wasn't true.

[@CorporateQueen]

​@@GameChanger597Probably did it to the mother too..

[@alexlewis8143]

Keep the baby away from all family members. They are all failures.

[@beefandchicken]

Her whole family is a bunch of turds. Poor girl.

[@maximwilson1482]

Unfortunately I agree...the parents will think they are being punished for what the grandpa did. But the parents were complicit so I guess the punishment fits

[@GameChanger597]

Can't let them watch your kids if they still live next door to the grandparents

[@deniseganey6890]

Especially her own Parents .

[@khchoi25]

It’s amazing that so many adults don’t understand what this does to a child. They’re not just going to “get over it”. It’s the worse thing you could do to a child short of murder.

[@stellabella5269]

Thank you 😪

[@mama-nono3652]

Many people are unaware that the most dangerous place for females can be HOME, from men she knows. Most sexual assaults are not stranger related. And most often the culprit is their father or a father figure (uncle, sibling, pastor, teacher, etc). The victim is very often not believed and, shamefully, everyone will coalesce to protect the culprit, usually a family member: "You don't want your uncle Joey to go to jail, do you!?". The victim has to carry all the weight. It is just sickening.

[@joaniem3817]

As a consequence, the child is in a lifelong emotional jail. That’s messed up. Sexual predators are a plague.

[@cmmahone]

I was 11 when my father did this, I'm 54 now, therapy is a wonderful thing, he is now just a sad old man in a home somewhere. I feel nothing towards him, not hate or love, just indifference. Therapy works

[@lindakincaid4530]

sorry it happened to you, good for you for seeking help to move on. It is my understanding that some men don't think they are doing anything wrong.

[@gangstabiotch08]

Thank you for saying this! So strong

[@BeGlamourlicious]

Thank you sooooo much. I love therapy it works.

[@jashroy]

F*** yeah, good for you.

[@CarmenBuenrostro]

I’m sorry that you went through this. My dad did it to me as well throughout my childhood and it really damaged me and hurt me for years. I am now 30 with a 2 year old daughter and I’ve cut my so called dad out of my life and I have started healing and feeling free from him. Like you said, I don’t feel anything towards him.

[@myyt3824]

Every single member of her family let her down. They failed her. Miserably. I cannot fathom reacting so aloof to my daughter being SA by my father. HOW DOES ONE JUST GLOSS OVER THAT?!?!?!

[@jennifersilves4195]

Right?

[@Oxaca73]

My father says "If a child's molested it's their own fault." I was molested by his father when I was 8 years old. There's a lot of parent's like that.

[@EliseWood]

@@Oxaca73 I am so incredibly sorry to hear that.

[@EliseWood]

To clarify, I wish I had in the call, it was my dad’s step dad. He has his own two daughters that absolutely adore him and then he’s got 3 blood grandchildren. 2 girls and a boy. He’s super super close with all three of them and I always felt that disconnect growing up, I sort of wonder if that’s why it was me, a chubby little girl that he had easy access to next door that wasn’t his own blood and no one would suspect a thing since I was just running next door for my mom like I had many times.

[@yvettesalinas3590]

Im a new mom and the thought of this breaks me I feel I’d end up in jail

[@10nurse29]

Elise, you are so brave!! I waited until I was 40 to tell my mom I was assaulted by my cousin and her response was.. well, his dad did the same thing to me!! WTH, mom????

[@timwienand6297]

There would be a dead grandpa...

[@jennyj0007]

Fr fr

[@retahannell4207]

Woodchipper

[@evachalupa6459]

And a parent in jail.. Not too helpful, right..

[@blancamoncada1026]

Elise please report this to the police. If your grandfather molested you he did it to another child. I’m so disgusted with your parents. I’m so so sorry this happened to you. Do it for the ones who haven’t had the courage to speak up or those who have been shut down 🙏

[@sharonhalk8679]

Thank you for this because my sister and I were molested by a neighbor. My parents never did anything other than tell us to stay away from him as we had to live next to him for several more years. We moved away & as an adult, I wanted to confront him & he had died. Still have resentment toward my parents for not protecting me. I’m 53 & I was only 6 or 7 when it happened.

[@BlackStump172]

What do you think that they should have done ?

[@trinaroach2832]

​@@BlackStump172Nothing that a few able-bodied and right-minded men, each with a sock full of quarters - couldn't begin the "healing process" for. Then law enforcement can come collect the garbage...

[@ninajohnson6578]

Abuse is so common. And families hide from it. She is a hero.

[@TEM14411]

❤

[@dd3wc]

I’m a bit surprised her parents allowed any contact with the grandparents, after that incident. Especially on a trip to Hawaii … whereby the grandfather had access to her again, if I understood her correctly. Very sad situation … and what’s even worse is the abuse has probably been passed down from generation to generation to generation … and so on!

[@dontassumemyfender9866]

This happened to someone very close to me by a step grandparent. The father of the victim was told what happened by the son days after it happened. The father went to the house, knocked on the door and when the person answered, the father beat him from the front door to the back door. Put him in ICU.

[@molly5262]

Best response by a father!! What most fathers should do in this type of situation.

[@GameChanger597]

Finally a reaction we all want to see👏🏼 Really hope he didn't suffer any consequences from it

[@jdoe5835]

my grandfather did this to me too. thankfully my mom believed me and i never had to see him again. my heart goes out to Elise :( I'm so sorry you didn't get that vindication and protection and help you deserved. Thoughts are with you, my sister.

[@blueStarKitt7924]

Bless you and your mother.❤

[@tessaprice]

This makes me so sad and angry. Elise’s parents didn’t take up for her. Man, I’m praying for justice for you, whatever that looks like.

[@EliseWood]

Thank you 😊

[@sophiawafa1658]

Neither did my mom to my SHITpa. Currently going “through it” right now, watching KZbin’s to ease the pain. Having an “off day”. Therapy is happening soon…

[@cosmiqshy8941]

Same here. My Dads dad. His most fervent defender to this day is my oldest brother who’s been a lifelong cop. Nobody did anything. They even sent me back for more. My oldest brother said to my mom that I was too young to remember. He hates me and has retaliated against me on multiple occasions. He glorified his grandfather his whole life & treated me like I’m dirty. Yet he’s spent his whole fatherhood acting paranoid that someone’s gonna molest HIS kids. His guilt & rage is sad. I wish I could go to a counselor for healing but I don’t think I can afford it. Mine was from somewhere between birth & 5 yrs old. Nobody turned him in even after I told. I remember his “good guy” grooming tactics. Till this day I have body image issues. I have an hourglass figure most women want but I’m always fighting overeating & hating the way I look. If anyone looks @ me like I’m getting checked out it sends me reeling for safety. It’s like fat is my insulation to hide from predation.

[@dakotaflower5926]

In this situation…. There is no conversation or confronting your father/father-in-law…. Your first phone call is to the authorities, period. Your “father” can work it out with them. And a grown ass man of virtue, even if grandpa was incorrectly accused would agree you did the right thing.

[@BlackStump172]

@@cosmiqshy8941I wonder if your brother has also molested kids himself ? His reaction is strange . Perhaps he was a victim of your grandfather too but did not complain .

[@kaidiver4306]

I'm 38, MY Moms husband (dad) molested me thru out mostly elementary and an incident in high school. I finally told My Mom 3 Years ago. My Mom didn't believe me. Which was MY BIGGGGEST FEAR that my mom wasn't goin to believe, ouch. Never got help. But All my friends kno. He has been dead to me when he was alive. He had passed away. I didn't go to his death bed, I didn't go to his viewing and i didn't go his funeral

[@GameChanger597]

And why should you? You don't owe him anything. I have to say though, I'm not buying that your mom didn't believe you. I think she just didn't want to face the music bc it would make her feel like a bad mom.

[@murdahmammiez]

I believe you

[@LifeBetweenTheDash]

I'm very sorry you had to deal with that. You can still get help. Wishing the best for you.

[@kaidiver4306]

@@GameChanger597 my mom did not believe me.

[@kaidiver4306]

@@LifeBetweenTheDash thank you..

[@sheilakilby5162]

I am so sorry this happened to you. This happed to me when I was 8 (my sister too). It was my step Dad. I told my mom, she did not protect me. We had to live with him until we were ever old enough to move out. We had to live with the in appropriate looks and comments for years. We don't allow him to have contact with our daughter. I confronted him as an adult and he denied everything. My Mom just admitted that she believed us, but just chose to do nothing about it. It still haunts me. Best wishes to you.

[@avic2697]

.

[@warriormanmaxx8991]

@@avic2697 - is that a "period?!?" Can you express self in writing more??

[@Danigys]

This memory of child abuse never goes away. The little girl is scarred for life afterwards. It happen to me 55 years ago and it affected me in all aspects of my life. I think the worst thing is that after all these years the memory is extremely vivid.

[@Mrscarricom]

I went to school one day, and I was probably 11 or 12, and my classmate's mom and I were really close, so I told her about my molestation. However, she wasn't much help, which I found strange. Anyhow, back to the above point. Some children started to share their molestation experiences, and surprisingly, the girl whose mom I respected loved and adored ,her daughter shared her stepdad showed her his p**** her mother told her at least he didn't touch you. The mom went on to marry the guy and stayed home ( housewife) because she said he couldn't molest them if I'm home. There was one young lady who shared that her mom put her dad out the same night for making her sit on his face. She didn't like how it made her feel, so she told. I felt like she had the coolest mom ❤, I am that mom now. There is no negotiating with evil

[@gayle2276]

Make sure your child is never alone with him! Or with your parents because he can come over to your parents place and do it.

[@normajeane507]

It's crazy to think so many people who have molested children just go about their regular lives 🤯 the world is a dark place!

[@marielamccartney7319]

Agreed. The problem here is that child molesters have no souls to do this hideous act to children and on top of that, child molesters are protected by their own wives, mothers or anyone around them. That’s means they are just as evil as the child molesters! And the innocent children have their minds and lives destroyed for the rest of their lives! How that’s that sound for anyone out there who really cares!!

[@robertoramos8257]

It's dark that's why we need to shine some light on it! Dude needs to be in jail

[@soarhighyandow9109]

@@marielamccartney7319 I agree with you completely. They should not be allowed to walk free among the general population. Children are too precious, and they tend to reoffend too often to risk it.

[@SDALLE99]

It's not like they lost anything. In some culture, the practice of an older family member/mentor teaching the ropes to a young child is normal. They gotta learn about it eventually.

[@marielamccartney7319]

Wait wait what do you mean? Something doesn’t sound right.

[@jmc8076]

Why is the victim always doubted?! Mine was my older brother and some of his friends when I was 10 or 11 (blocked age out) sadly more then once. My family doesn’t know. Elise is incredibly brave then and now to call in. It never gets easier. I really do get how she feels about shutting up and down about it. Took me 20 yrs to even verbalize it (after my parents passed I ran/bolted from family.) I was told not to cry too until my husb and same thing I cried so much and the rage was deep. Much love and respect to Elise. I wish I was brave enough to call in and thanks so much on behalf of so many listening.

[@leatherface9377]

How old was your brother?

[@ecstaticb]

I'm sorry this happened to you. I never thought I would get over my anger and hurt but with therapy I have.

[@warriormanmaxx8991]

@@leatherface9377 - there is NO reason for you to know "How old was your brother?" Ehhh?

[@GameChanger597]

@@warriormanmaxx8991Ok SJW. It's a pretty normal question for someone sharing this kind of story publicly. I wondered the same thing and I know everyone else was too including you. It helps the reader assess the situation a little better.

[@MidnightSunshine27]

Elise, I'm so sorry that happened to you. This is so common it hurts so much.

[@JJJJ-he8bz]

She needs to have a sit down with the police. You can tell it’s killing her.

[@robertperry814]

Statute of limitations is probably up on this one.

[@alexlewis8143]

@@robertperry814 there isn't one for children

[@robertperry814]

@@alexlewis8143 depends what state you're in.

[@SDALLE99]

So petty. It's her problem if she can't let go. Don't waste police resources.

[@JJJJ-he8bz]

@@SDALLE99 well someone needs to do something

[@glittermob9155]

These adults all belong on jail for harboring, aiding, and abetting a criminal!

[@adammanning1805]

Cops need to be involved, NOW!!!!!!!!

[@daishamariee]

Isn't it so bizarre when no adult protects the child and possibly other children. Almost like the molester is a victim. Make it make sense? I don't care if its a family member, teacher, pastor, etc. If I know about it there needs to be a police investigation.

[@joywebster2678]

But what is the statute of limitations if there is no current abuse of kids, and only one recalled incident 16yrs earlier? I'm seriously wondering.

[@jennifersilves4195]

​@@joywebster2678 Some states have no statute of limitations.

[@selamawitbekele773]

My brother sexually assaulted me over and over and over again when I was 8-9 years old. I recently told my sister so that they can be careful about their daughters in his presence. I don’t think they believe me and I regret telling them. I hate him to the moon and back

[@chelsmaria]

Some people would rather believe pretty lies about the world than accept the harsh truth of abuse. You still did the right thing! You warned them, and you stood up for yourself the way no one else would. I'm so, so sorry they may not believe you. That harms you all over again, which is cruel. And it may lead to even more innocent children being harmed 😢

[@donnadonaldson9671]

I’m so sorry this happened to you. You were brave to warn your sister. Now it’s up to her to protect her girls. Shame on her for not believing you.

[@LCP_452]

I believe you. I believe you 1,000% I love my kids. I have no reason to think any of them would do such a thing, but I avoid leaving them alone together for the same reason. I have cameras in each of their bedrooms and I do not go to sleep until they're asleep and I lock their doors. I don't trust ANYONE around my kids. I don't let them go alone anywhere, and I always believe what they tell me. I'm sorry nobody believed you. Do not regret speaking up. You're the only one who did the right thing.

[@ANF222]

My ex-step grandfather molested me for three years when I was little. It took me becoming an adult and realizing the repetitive nightmares about him was my body remembering. It turns out, while he was molesting me as a toddler, he was raping my aunt who was only a teenager. It’s crazy how deeply this can affect someone, how deeply it’s affected me and how sickeningly common this really is.

[@TEM14411]

❤

[@EliseWood]

Oh my word…….I’ll be praying for you and your aunt to find healing

[@1175drh]

It breaks my heart that her parents didn't put her first and figure out the truth and acted on it back then. A 7 yr old girl needs more protections than Grandpa PERIOD!! Just wrong!

[@daveholliday3082]

I appreciate the fact that Dr John stands firmly on these hard issues. This behavior by these adults has been shushed far too often and the children are left to feel dirty and broken, and somehow expected to forget and move on. Dr John gives what seems to be harsh boundaries, but in reality these children will only truly heal when we stand up for them and demand justice, and that justice will destroy the secrets and maybe those who helped protect the secret. Nobody wins but it’s not justice when the child is the only one to suffer.

[@lindakincaid4530]

totally agree. a lot of little girls are molested, but there are a lot of little boys who are victim's too and I think boys are taught to be tough and keep it more a secret then girls.

[@adrianajimenez4342]

Omg I can't believe her parents didn't protect her, so sad.

[@randyadams1312]

Sadly it happens more often than you think. It’s also common for family members to accuse the abused of lying and gaslight them. No one wants to break up the family and some don’t want to believe a family member is a monster and find it easier to blame the victim.

[@vickyandersen8660]

Happened to me. I told my parents a bit of what happened and still let my sisters ex husband go over. Now I have trust issues and can't trust anyone to babysit my kids, not even my parents

[@amydoran9987]

I would not leave it to chance.I would keep my child far away from him .

[@mooneyes2833]

I was molested at that same age.. for years, but I only remember the one time...she may have memories repressed...God bless her for talking about it, never stop telling your story, silence is the problem.

[@lala_arneezy]

Man…. This one hits so hard 😔 Same thing happened when I was 6-7 with my paternal grandfather. I was taken out of the home we lived in with him for a while. But was still forced to see him & act normal until he died just because my parents needed his financial assistance. I’m 27 now… no kids… I’m too scared.

[@stephanieW.1922]

Elise's story is VERY similar to mine: Step Grandfather & same with my parents💔 So very grateful my heavenly Father helped me heal!❤🙏🏽 Its an everyday healing going forward but know now its MY story and MY healing❤❤🥰🙏🏽

[@janae09]

I’m so sorry you went through that. So glad you are walking with the Lord to help you heal. 💕

[@jmc8076]

I’m so sorry too. Much love and hugs. Mine was an older bro and his friends mult times at times more then one. Too many kids share our pain and scars. We’re all going fwd with love, compassion and healing.

[@stephanieW.1922]

@@jmc8076 Thank you! Yes TO MANY share our pain. I'm so sorry for you too! Much love & hugs for you too.🙏🏽

[@animahawke4396]

Elise is my hero. I hope that she finally gets the healing that she deserves.

[@jillpruett4772]

Elise, I noticed that you are from the Portland metro area, where I lived for forty years. I had really good experience with Lutheran Family Services for some counselling I needed. You may want to look them up if you feel a need to do some of the psychological work you need for your own healing.

[@SarahHunt]

Megan, I identify with you so much. I could have made the exact same phone call (except ice cream in place of cheese fries). For me it's so hard to make the mental shift from wanting to BE different to being willing to make the changes I have to make to get there. I don't have any advice for you. I just want to let you know that I'm right there with you, and your call was an encouragement to me. Thanks for being brave enough to make that call.

[@darkhorsematters4550]

Me too 🥳

[@CharletteG]

My heart breaks for Elise I feel like she was failed so badly by those who should have protected her the most, as a mom of a little girl I can't even imagine. Little Elise deserved soooo much better 🤍 happy to hear she grew up to be a brave strong woman 🙏🏻

[@pattyajones]

OMG, John...Elise totally needed to hear everything you said to her. She was soaking it up in her soul...FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE SUPPORTED HER in the way she needed to be supported!

[@theadvocate3006]

Her parents violated her too. They chose to not press charges against someone who harmed her.. SMH

[@emmawilkins5755]

I struggled with weight for years. Every time a well meaning family member commented or gave me 'advice' all that did was reconfirm that I felt a failure. I had let them down. I was an embarrassment etc. Only when I began to love myself did I have the motivation to make changes. Calorie counting worked for me because as long as I stuck to it, no food was disallowed. I still ate chocolate! don't put too much emphasis on your size. Its not a marker of success or how worthy you are. Do it for you, when you are ready. Slow and steady x

[@simplygina7703]

Thank you for sharing!! This is very helpful info. I’m an emotional eater and the past couple of years have been difficult to maintain a healthy weight. I tend to be an all-or-nothing person, so I would restrict the things I would eat and then binge. I’d like to try to have things in moderation, so hearing from you that it works is very encouraging! Thanks again

[@janae09]

I have found success in counting calories and individual macros as well. I eat sweets in moderation rather than completely cutting sugar out and then caving and bingeing on whatever I can get my hands on.

[@droptozro]

Thanks for pointing this out Emma, glad you were able to get where you wanted to be. Calorie counting really is what's needed at least to start and eventually one can work themselves into a pattern and rely less on it--but I hate when people say they don't have to do it. It's akin to saying one has a major financial leak/issue and refusing to track their spending.

[@motherrussiaful]

Megan! Way to go! So glad this young lady is choosing to create a better future

[@motherrussiaful]

The first caller is Elise, second callers name is Megan

[@jmc8076]

@@motherrussiaful Apologies just realized that. Thx 🙏

[@jmc8076]

Agree.

[@motherrussiaful]

@@jmc8076 no worries at all!

[@summerdowlig]

I bet he moved on to other victims you just don't stop hurting kids especially if nothing happened to the abuser. I hope she never lets her child or any kids or herself around him ever.

[@EliseWood]

I don’t plan to

[@robertoramos8257]

@@EliseWood I admire your bravery and strength in how your handling your situation. Prayers to you and your family.

[@sail253]

@@EliseWood You are so brave and you should always stick up for yourself, nothing that happened to you was your fault, and you don't need an excuse not to see him, he deserves to be in prison so he can't hurt more amazing people like you

[@blueStarKitt7924]

​@@sail253Yes.

[@blueStarKitt7924]

​@@EliseWoodI wish you all the best to you and your child/children. May you heal and find peace. 🙏❤️

[@chocnass]

Her grandfather is sick! Her family failed her! And any other children around them.

[@Silirion]

Thank you so Much for this conversation. I met a woman that had gone through this and just couldnt make sense out What she was trying to share. She was everywhere emotionally and it was so difficult as an outsider to try and understand her trauma. Listening to this conversation gave me a piece of the puzzle that she tried to describe, and thank you John for being so direct with giving her direction and a course of actions to take. So helpful!

[@blove4735]

You can do it Megan!! Start today and never look back!! Prayers and good vibes sending your way!

[@judakimberly6551]

Megan, I’ve been there too. I want to let you know that it gets easier. Once healthier habits and routines set in, it becomes almost automatic. It takes a lot of work at first, but I know anyone as strong and powerful as you are can do it!! 💕💪

[@amyhunter5105]

Yay Megan, you got this! I recently picked up some brain tricks that have helped me. Don't set any end goals of 30, 50, or 100 lbs. Work it in 5 lb increments. Sometimes, when it's a large goal, the 1 lb fluctuations we all get can be frustrating, which stalls motivation. I wanted to exercise daily as a lifestyle change but found I was making excuses when I was trying to run every day. I hate running, haha. Instead of running for 40 minutes, I switched to walking for an hour. It worked! I can walk for an hour, that's easy. Positive things that help me feel like I am achieving something keep me motivated to keep these changes going. The recommended 10,000 steps a day was a goal that would leave me frustrated, so I moved that goal to something I knew I could accomplish of 8,000 steps and then slowly increased over time. Keeping your focus on lifestyle goals will help you feel successful. I say things to myself like, even if nothing moves on the scale, moving my body every day, watching my portions, and drinking lots of water are goals I can achieve. For moments when I'm feeling myself backslide, I remind myself, "It's not never, it's just for now." I still indulge in treats occasionally to remind myself its not the food its the lifestyle. If I'm declining a treat I know will offset my progress, I'm also mindful to work in a day occasionally to put aside the progress for a night out. We've got to learn to work those into part of our lifestyle. You are a rock star and can do it!

[@emcee2555]

I'm hooked. I just discovered your videos and channel yesterday, and I appreciate the care you take with each caller. I really appreciate how direct and constructive you are, almost like you provide the caller some homework to complete. I'm very action oriented myself! Lastly, I want to say bravo to the callers. It takes so much courage to open up. I think this format is so great, because not only do you get to address your own issue(s), you get to help others who may be in the same situation, address their case as well.

[@adjectivenoun12]

It's amazing that she told them right away. They failed her.

[@Lindsay_Lexus]

Hey Dr. John! Thanks so much for being a light in this dark world! You are so amazing! Your advice is fantastic! It makes me want to change and make my life better continuously! Thanks for your service to our world! ♥️

[@rivkahmiri513]

Megan's call hits me for a different way... I'm listening 3 yrs later! 2024

[@Idkgoogleitbro]

Being a dad of two girls, these segments were priceless gems of knowledge and wisdom.

[@TEM14411]

❤

[@chrysiarose]

Why do people protect the molester??? They always get protected!!!

[@sail253]

Ikr

[@guyrose2350]

I would never but I understand why they do. A family even when they push the pedophile out still gets shunned by society, this can be just as devastating to a child to be exiled from society at such a young age along with their family, as being molested can do. The shame will always follow them and people are cruel even when you do the right thing.

[@beaudoz3603]

It's the shame on the family...

[@V.Hansen.]

Seems like it’s money. They are always dependent on them. One reason why I will never rely on anyone.

[@susancuenin2137]

No one wants to believe this narrative as it is so hard to visualize it happening in the first place. Decent people just don’t do these horrid things to children. Correct - child molesters are in a class by themselves and they are not typical, decent people.

[@sohd2283]

I hate people that do this to kids! It really is scarring for them 😒

[@slidecarnell2332]

This something happened to me by my mother's father. I never told anyone until I was in my 40's. After sharing it to my sister and my sons, I felt free but it stays with you. I remember when my boys were around 9 or 10, I told them, no matter what, if anyone ever touches you inappropriately, please tell me. Now, they are adults and I still at times have ask them if that had ever happened to them and they say no. I'm so happy they made it thru life without that kind of pain and shame. Thanks for this story.

[@LivingAble]

So glad your wife called you out Dr deloney! It drives me crazy when you Make comments like "Tell me and the five other listeners..." Or "until this show gets cancelled. I know it is self protection so to speak but you're doing a good work and you're helping a lot of people. And even if it was truly only five people the show would be worth it :-) I learned a lot from Megan's call and I'm going to make my list about the person I want to be and I'm also going to start reminding myself to remember so I make better choices in certain areas! Until next time have a great evening :-)

[@truckingwithtobee]

It’s time for her to approach her mom and call her mom out for that. And demand to find out what happened and how they took care of the situation. And also is the grandfather still alive? If he is I would approach him myself.

[@73odus]

I will forever question whether (most) people genuinely mean 'health' over 'looks,' despite that's what they "say…"

[@northshorelight35]

The worst thing about molestation is the aftermath. I know families that had to uproot and their financial situation became significantly worse to the point that caused the rest of the siblings to fall apart. In no way am I condoning the behavior but it’s not as easy as putting that person in jail.

[@bakedbeans9546]

I couldn't care less about their "finances" when they fail to protect children in their care. And most often these families of pedophiles know exactly what is going on and ignore it, they even brand the abused children as "liars" to protect their families status and finances.

[@barbarah2773]

I pray she has the courage to follow through on calling the police on her grandfather. I wish I would have done this when I was sexually abused by my grandfather and my uncles. But I didn't know I could do that. My parents did not protect me either. They kept sending me back to my grandparents house. All my abusers are deceased now, but the trauma I endured took a lifetime to heal.

[@kathleencooney1518]

I am so sooty this happened to you & that nothing was done. I am praying for you now. I hope this sicko rots in jail. At the very least, everyone will know the truth about him.

[@sackettfamily4685]

Parents who do this devastate their children even more. My parents messed up very close to this and it messed up my sister Even worse. They are safe to watch my child, but I don't trust their judgement at all.

[@marielamccartney7319]

If I were you I wound not give your parents any chances with my own children. This kind of behavior scars children’s lives for ever! As a mom myself I would not put my kids in such danger at all! Wow!

[@GameChanger597]

@@marielamccartney7319 Agreed. If you can't trust their judgment, you can't trust them for much of anything

[@catbravo994]

I would love an update on the first call. I really felt for her.

[@abbiewitt9924]

A similar situation happened with my uncle (by marriage) at the time and I was 9 years old and I told my grandma and my aunt and they didn’t believe me obviously because he moved in with my great grandma later in my life and they sent their kids over there with him there.

[@CAborn1112]

Freakin’ love this podcast! Real hard issues with real people looking and receiving help. Great job Doc!!!

[@robertoramos8257]

I totally feel Megan. We can do it it takes patience introspection and hard work to figure out what we really want and how we're gonna get there

[@pegzpat]

There's a special place in hell for those who molest children. Her mum didn't stand up for her, I hope this beautiful girl truly heals and has a beautiful life. She deserves it.

[@lifestylebyrachel]

If she is within the statue of limitations I think she should file charges. He is most certainly a repeat offender. He robbed her of a beautiful childhood and caused so much trauma.

[@tonniareed8631]

John your advice speaks to so many of us. Thank you for your insight and transparency in your own struggles.

[@MR-sq3dn]

Dr Delony did a great job of understanding and applying the culture on the call regarding the older brother needing to step in and help parents with other siblings kids. As oldest brother, he doesn't have to do everything himself. And if his siblings want to call him out, well now he can lead and delegate and tell them all how they are all going to be involved in splitting the responsibility!

[@kaizenborntowin]

I am never letting any man around my daughters. Ever!

[@rainbowpandasays8851]

Yes, don’t let any man around them. Make sure boundaries are set, even a father must know this too.

[@lindakincaid4530]

we did not let any man around my daughter. she did spend the night at a friends house from church. but we talked about it and the boys and men of that family were not there. when i've had parties for my daughter with her girlfriends from school my husband and son left the house. We've done everything we can to protect both our children. we have talked about their private parts from when they were very young. My children were only allowed to spend the night at grandma's house. no where with out us or other men at the house. my son has never spent any over nights with anyone but grandma. Birthday parties/slumber parties, i'd pick them up at 10. they got 2hrs with their friends.

[@chelsmaria]

Y'all know women abuse children too, right? And look how many women in these stories *knew* of the abuse of men towards children, but still let it happen...which means those women are complicit in abuse too! Keeping your children away from all men by default isn't a healthy or reasonable solution for anyone.

[@ivorybow]

My sad experience with reporting 2 different men, incidents several years apart, was nothing came of it. The first incident I reported a second time, and there was still no action. In the second incident, of a grandfather molesting his little granddaughter, investigators came, charges were filed. court date was set, and then it just died on the vine. Two years have passed, and nothing. So disappointing.

[@brendamoya8650]

This happened to me as a nine year old buy my uncle, my aunt found out and instead of stopping and doing something about it she used it to black mail me I was like her slave taking care of her two children cleaning the house for her as we lived together. She made me believe it was my fault ! For so many years I hated my self I even hated my Mom because she didn't know and couldn't protect me. I didn't know at first what had happened and how terrible it was till my aunt convinced me I was dirty and if my mom would ever find out she would hate me and throw me out of the house. I grew up very bitter wanting to hurt men. Then I started abusing my self buy punching my legs leaving them bruised no one ever new I was doing that to myself. Years later I came to know Jesus as my LORD and Savior he healed me and I've seen then been able to forgive them I understand now that forgiveness is more for me than for them. My uncle had a terrible death a slow one and my aunt has also been every sick for years she had 3 children and none of them support her nor visit her. I pray that she could repent of all the evil she caused not only to me but to her own children.

[@commonsense6967]

I am so sorry you experienced this! You did not deserve it, and it's not your fault.

[@brendamoya8650]

@@commonsense6967 yes so many stories like this. Now I know it's not my fault and I thank my LORD God Jesus Christ he helped me forgive them and have moved on. But there is allot of people that don't have closure.

[@aundirussell8644]

i love this man! he makes my life happier

[@ananyav3395]

I hate her grandfather! May God bless you girl🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@cjlive5182]

I’m glad a guy like you struggles with being on time like me. 😁 It seems like something so simple should be easy!

[@qnibly]

I think he has ADHD...these are classic symptoms...makes him even better. I mean otherwise we would be listening to the Kelly show ☺️

[@whowearereally6494]

Dr. Jon, I think your show lis going to change my life! I am 57 and after a month of listening to your show and many different scenarios, so many things are coming to light for me. I was touched inappropriately and made to do things by family members as a very young little girl. My mom left when I was 14. I had a teacher slap me across the face as a little girl in between the library bookshelves , he was a male, I was whipped with the belt by my father and it’s just coming to light to me that none of this is normal and I’ve been in search for a protective family since I was a very little girl. I am now 57 and living alone, I want so badly to have love and normalcy, I was able to give that to my sons I raised two very successful boys, but after staying busy and trying to get everyone to be happy my whole life and meeting a very unconditionally, loving family in my ex-husband, who was an alcoholic? I am now 20 years alone, and starting to grieve for the little girl that is out searching, there were times of my life where I became very successful, but then would crash and burn in the privacy of four walls. I love my son so much and now I have a grandson. I think your show is helping me to see that I’ve been really hard on myself and everyone around me after so many different situations have been let go, with no protection at all ever… I think even tonight I’m going to be so capable of loving on myself, so so much I can’t even believe how I’m starting to feel; Like, I should’ve felt this way for myself along time ago as a little girl -abandoned. Being an adult grown ass woman at 57, This is very odd , but I’m going to just love on myself tonight and hope that this changes everything for me-all I can say is ((thank you ))❤And give you contact information in someway shape or form-🌅🙏💐

[@customleathertooling2020]

Megan! I joined Audrey's in 1972 and belonged until she closed doors. I've lived the weight battle my whole life. I'm grateful for your call because I'm choosing to take Dr. Delay's advice. I believe you can do this!

[@mercurialgirl]

I love Dr Delony’s horse noises. Never change, sir.

[@Franklinandme]

I love when the "little ears" warning is given. I like knowing to put my ear buds in before the topic(s) arise(s). Thank you for that.

[@VonSolo5]

Beautiful and important demonstration of righteous anger. 💪🙌

[@carolinewinchester3176]

I found out in the past 3 years something happened to one of my daughters when they were about 7.. The person is dead now!!

[@gabrielakarl3859]

Regarding the first caller. Not only id not allow my child to see great grandparent ever again, but I would not allow my child to see grandparents either because it sounds like they were enablers who shoved it all under the rug to keep the happy family facade. So sad and traumatizing on so many levels.

[@juniper_woods9508]

You got this megan!❤

[@Mysterious_Moon]

Megan, you've got this! You are worthy and be proud of your new journey!

[@rickycastro6555]

She’s making too many excuses. Wants to look & feel better but doesn’t want to limit anything in her diet. Okay well eat less portions of what you’re eating, or put in more time & effort in the gym. It’s not rocket science. She’s not disabled or suffering from a severe disease. She just has has to put in the work. If working out was easy everybody would do it. And she shouldn’t compare herself to others. Some of them are younger, different genetics, etc.

[@gbear34]

This girl likely saved herself years of torment by bravely telling parents right away. Being a parent is so scary....

[@YesYesYesJeff]

Being a KID is scary. If you think it's worse to have your child molested than to actually be a child who gets molested, you sound like a narcissist.

[@jeannieneuser5316]

I guess I can intuit your meaning here, perhaps you have children and worry about keeping them safe. That I can understand. As someone who also has experienced this type of abuse, no matter how scary it might be to be a parent, it is exponentially scarier to be a child, especially a child without protectors.

[@AbidingHopeMentalHealthCoach]

You should know by now that there isn’t bad weather, just bad clothing choices. When I decided to train for half marathon, it was January. Oregon doesn’t get terribly cold, at least not this part of it, but it rains a lot. So guess who bought herself a raincoat and rain pants!

[@marciawright2600]

When I was a teen in the 1970's I stepped out of my basement shower and saw my dad on his hands and knees looking at my naked body. This only happened once and it negatively impacted my entire life. I became bulimic and hated myself for years. I told my mom but nothing was done. Even one event can change someone forever.

[@rosejones2932]

My gift to the young lady in the first call would be the number to a good realtor in another state. Moving away doesn't bring instant healing but I think it would help her.

[@PublicHealthGeek]

Dr. Delony T-shirt idea Slogan "You are not a machine" with the image/icon that exemplifies humanity.

[@guinealove.986]

I like the show but it’s so sad. God bless all the struggling people in the world.

[@jaehee9519]

seven year olds do not just lie about being sexually assaulted. i will never understand those who deny children validation and supportive care

[@libraryofalexandria8605]

My Dad made horse noises and zorbert noises after watching Andrea. The seal movie lol 🎬 he just recently passed this last year at 71. It's one of the things we loved about him ❤️. Don't worry about what others think about the way you express exhaustion or exasperation. The ones that love you will find it endearing

[@natevankoevering2423]

As a person who has read Atomic habits, John is right it is a great book. Also i am reading Discipline equals freedom. It is a good book as well.

[@SherryEllesson]

Show opening, he tells staffer, "YOU'RE unfortunate" Really?! Mr Cosmic craps on a staffer on air?!

[@SherryEllesson]

If you can't make it to meetings on time, maybe you need a different job, Doc.

[@LeahZ777]

That was a distasteful exchange during the opening!

[@MichelleBonville]

Gosh, I have struggled with my weight for so long and was put on a diet for the first time when I was 11. That second story touched my heart so much and I have sat here and cried listening to his advice.

[@billwhite5853]

Elise, please do something to protect other girls in your family.

[@marlenebtagelman2451]

Call the police. Get him off the streets.