Grandpa's War Stories - S1E3 - Cyanide & Happiness Show - INTERNATIONAL RELEASE

[@voracioust2499]

from what i've seen and learnt from the animators is that they probably don't like children or babies

[@lukerees281]

or religion, like at all

[@tototato2190]

+Luke Rees true

[@aumua2876]

me in a nutshell

[@hamishbenham4845]

Well despite what most of the comments will have you believe a lot of scientific knowledge was saved by Christian monks after the Roman empire fell. so there's that.

[@edwardhoffenheim3249]

They don't really care what christians have done because they believe that atheist can and would have done the same thing.

[@Tony73727]

When the scientist was about to throw the bible in the time machine I screamed, "Don't do it!". Then, I bursted out laughing.

[@louisarius9672]

The city's development became shitty lol

[@killuazoldyck295]

And this is the reason why Religion is a bunch of bullshit.

[@Tony73727]

SwaffyX Well, he isn't wrong.

[@Phantogram2]

Louisarius Trollerlol Just like in real life. Most of the wars we have today are because of a religion.

[@louisarius9672]

Fuck Google+ Not to mention how they absorb our money.

[@aledbarreto]

The most ancient joke in the book is one of the best things i have ever seen

[@reishin4900]

I completely agree : ) ahahhhahahahaah

[@zaroko8105]

what was it dough? I didn't get it

[@reversetape6984]

dipatata they did that before

[@thewanderingartists]

Can you explain?

[@Lolkek-fp4qy]

Maybe they were being pressured to have kids in a bad world and drew a bunch about it.

[@darkner2390]

4:48 How did it take me this long to realise that the caveman is possibly actually a future version of the scientist which is in a time loop?

[@Erealista300]

HOLY SHIT THANKS

[@WolfMadnessMazuko117]

Nah, the cavemen was more smatter tha him

[@darkner2390]

@@WolfMadnessMazuko117 Okay, but how did he build a house when he got a hammer? When seemingly, he had no knowledge of any construction before. How did he know how to concentrate the sun's light to make fire with glasses? How did he know how to make a primitive car when he got a wrench? How did he even know that is how you're supposed to use a wrench, in a time where tools like that didn't exist? And let's go over his appearance. Dirty, bad teeth, damaged clothes... The appearance of a caveman, or is that of someone who's been stranded for who knows how long? Oh and before the scientist got sent to the past, he got hit in the head by a hammer. So it's likely that he simply forgot everything after that, until he got tools sent to him by accident, restoring his memory.

[@diegodevars4618]

Nobody talkinn about that T-rex?! He is suffering! The other dinos laughed at him! #stopdinobullying

[@bekidir9625]

It's just finished being dinos :)) nothing to worry about

[@bt4670]

dinophobia

[@NSMBX]

+Diego Devars That's animal abuse! We need to inform PETA! Please kill me...

[@rh4954]

you were super early to invent a future meme

[@LegendaryDev]

@@bekidir9625 yea but he tried to prank pink dino so them she/he pranked him back (green wanted everyone the laugh at pink *I THINK* )

[@thesheepthatwentmooo]

I am absolutely loving that Bible bit, haha! Adam and Eve were the first people not to read the apple terms and conditions :P

[@steventyler1337]

I... I'm not even mad....

[@thesheepthatwentmooo]

Steven Tyler Someone will be, haha :P

[@terryjones1714]

thesheepthatwentmooo Fancy seeing you here ollie! Love your videos :)

[@Plainofices]

"Adam and Eve were the first people not to read the apple terms and conditions"

[@planktonfun1]

Its funny because its true

[@meebs1597]

The beginning is so messed up

[@enneidrarose9645]

Dear lord

[@sabakhan-gj8zn]

Hotsystem52 true

[@999lljwforever5]

ilmao

[@ihaveamassiveweiner599]

Was he drunk ?!!

[@jameswaldron3320]

Todd The Alien it's a joke dipshit

[@hub.c22]

That moment when you accidentally make a time machine.

[@Doctor_Straing_Strange]

So relatable

[@TheGalekGames]

Ikr it happened to me yesterday

[@Everymations-has-a-url]

Yea that happened to me i remember the exact date: 1/9/2089

[@bakrobertjohnston4889]

Yea how embarrassing

[@tankveigar7011]

Always

[@yakarotsennin3115]

I love how the child is just ok with Clawford brutally murdering her Mom right in front of her. This just goes to show you, kids are the literal definition of "Zero Fucks Given".

[@aa-vb9tj]

Like mother like daughter.

[@jaygooese4242]

I love that 🐱

[@IdentityX69420]

its a cartoon

[@iLuTV]

4:07 ...that...was... AWESOME.

[@Iramizz]

ilu :D

[@tycoongamer2416]

🤣

[@subinlim7598]

XD

[@Star17Platinum17]

If ha had thrown a quran The city would've been destroyed

[@PokeAnimeXYZ]

This video made me question the cyanide and hapiness team's sanity

[@fernandasantillan2329]

+PokeAnimeXYZ It took you way too long to question that buddy

[@iliveinapuddle986]

Since when were they sane!!!

[@clousefe7013]

There no sane man in the world buddy

[@thehungrybloggerjg9806]

exactly

[@therealistOba]

Word

[@josiahlee2098]

Rewatching these episodes now at the age of 18 I now understand all the jokes being made! 😂

[@jactieben]

No it doesn't stop, me at the age of 24. Stil finds and understands jokes I didn't even noticed at the time.!

[@BricksOfAwesome]

I lost it when he threw the bible into the teleporter.

[@ThePharphis]

best joke

[@darkdancerman]

ThePharphis I will admit I found it funny. But I also am trying to figure out why I laughed due to the catholic church being a huge part of the state of technology we are at today.

[@ThePharphis]

darkdancerman some scientists use god as a reason to explore the universe while others used religion as a reason to halt scientific inquiry. I don't think there's any doubt that religion as a whole held us back culturally and scientifically. edit: and continues to do so

[@BricksOfAwesome]

darkdancerman I think I'm justified in saying, what? If anything they prohibited it (galileo being locked up for several years for holding a heliocentric view of the solar system)

[@MagusMarquillin]

"I lost it when he threw the bible into the teleporter." Oh, that was your bible then? I'm sorry dude, but you'll find they're quite replaceable.

[@jitsealliet488]

omg she doesn't even care her mom just died

[@jitsealliet488]

hahaha

[@TheDUBSpeedArts]

She's way too cool for that

[@jitsealliet488]

Haha true

[@mukerremhan3231]

Sad

[@Starxx-s]

How rude

[@TheHappyFaceKing]

that girl has the voise of a mario toad in some parts lol

[@zorominaj]

omg yas especially the dmc mario toad

[@10t-achmadfatanf67]

what a great ending :D

[@oofouchowie6425]

+Achmad Fatan WHAT A TWIST.

[@BenSilvestroStudiosInc]

BUP!

[@pissedinyourcornflakes2939]

I was boutta comment this.

[@14jc47]

buy a 3 legged dog get one leg free -animal shelter

[@jaimorjaria2547]

I saw this too

[@extraguy5089]

14 JC me too

[@zaroko8105]

oh wow thanks for pointing that out

[@drivingcat6901]

Limited time

[@krysisabell7]

1:41 To do list ----------- -fix window -Put bucket on head and wait for rain -Come up with new ways to spell "Rebecca"

[@WongeneDanielKim]

Moral of the Story: Do not put your baby in your trunk.

[@exemias9711]

I thought it was: Christianity stunts technological evolution.

[@JeeperWJGuy]

Dextrus I got the same thing... XD

[@gengarwarrior6802]

Dextrus gr8 b8 m8

[@bl00dbr0ther666]

GengarWarrior Shut8 the8 fuck8 up8 bitch8

[@JacobC364]

Wongene Daniel Kim You mean bowling ball, clearly she was upset because she was a bowling enthusiast and that baby got the ball all dirty and gross with its blood and guts. :D

[@vaughn1044]

06:12 Really? Buy a three legged dog get one leg free?

[@bt4670]

I can read and I can confirm this.

[@stickmansilv]

Yes and if you buy a too legged one you get two free!

[@vaughn1044]

XD

[@zaroko8105]

hahshs

[@iamimana]

LMFAO

[@windwind3170]

On 3:55 He picks up 5 different books 4:00 He throws Quantum Theory into time machine 4:00 He throws second Quantum Theory book 4:03 he throws third Quantum Theory book 4:04 He is still throwing Quantum Theory Book 4:05 He has thrown 5 Quantum theory Books Sooo... ExplosmEntertainment was too lazy

[@shivpuri5769]

oh lol

[@derpymuffin4504]

I think it might've been a hidden joke about quantum theory.

[@infernodorito]

at that bit look out the window. every book he throws, the world advances more. when he throws the bible, the world becomes normal.

[@djmeep657]

omg ur right xD good eyes bruh!

[@mlggranny7177]

Wind Wind

[@Hezyo922]

*throws the holy bible* *everything devolves a few centuries* brilliant.

[@slappybio1686]

Kids thats why you should not listen to flat earthers or else the future will become super lame

[@tape1273]

fuck you

[@SmallLanguageModel]

@@tape1273 no, f*ck him yourself coward

[@robertwilliams6045]

The world is round not flat

[@davinanderson3745]

Aethiasm is amazing

[@62cky4powerthirst]

I loved how they showed christianity destroying the progress of mankind when the scientist threw the book in the time machine.

[@xxbuckeye033xx]

Lol

[@SeikOsito]

Science was its own downfall. What a shame.

[@darkenedlight4818]

Yeah, and I also liked how it's previous purpose was just to hold up the table.

[@darkdancerman]

I found it funny. But I can't seem to find why I laughed due to the catholic church actually being a big part in the technology state we are in today.

[@halocoward]

darkdancerman I'm genuinely curious, how has the catholic church been a big part in technology?

[@user-ff1ws1sf2u]

Clifford the Big Red Dog Clawford the Big Blue Cat

[@xavierhorn9825]

Charlie the small blue cat

[@BlockWarrior000]

That's the joke

[@paul2413]

You don't say!

[@AaronMeighoo]

Top 5 anime fights in history

[@herminaapro4127]

b l a z e they are both bois.

[@Arwen_XIV]

that guy killed me XDD "this is a CATastrophy"

[@user-kk1qv6ws1p]

MAUW!

[@Arwen_XIV]

Roar :3 (wtf XD)

[@user-kk1qv6ws1p]

MAUW

[@Arwen_XIV]

SuperSpicyOrangeCat meow '^'

[@user-kk1qv6ws1p]

muw

[@lostfan10000]

In over two minutes of this video over ten people die and no one bats an eye. For three seconds there is an anti-Christian joke and the world goes into a riot. Are you kidding me?

[@efilnikufecin2004]

That comment lostfan10000 was the first comment I have ever rated up on here, and I've been around KZbin for years.

[@quinn_d]

It's how the world works. As they say, "Out of Sight, out of Mind."

[@nonuvurbeeznus795]

efilnikufecin2004 oh wow, like he should give a shit

[@lostfan10000]

Nonuv Urbeeznus Actually I do.

[@nonuvurbeeznus795]

lostfan10000 ...really? wow well you should probably stop caring about strangers opinions.

[@jellydonut0]

It was great opening with excellent animation but the punch line could have been better maybe the baby broke the bowling ball instead

[@invictus127]

I expected that though. The ending was surprising!

[@Andytlp]

i expected that.. but also expected the bowling ball to bleed... u can't expect just one thing from this show.

[@SixWingZombi]

I was kind of hoping he'd open the trunk and the kid would be wearing a bowling league shirt or something.

[@frickthefuckoff]

***** That sounds hilarious. Funnier and unexpected too.

[@SixWingZombi]

nekusakuraba01 Thanks for the compliment. I'll pass it on to my team of comedy writers!

[@marcelloascani]

oh! i love these long episodes

[@cobrakingtv3146]

andrea.-A Would you quit speaking Chinese and speak American like the rest of us?

[@DDD-re7ek]

long..

[@flugblarg1500]

CobrakingTV Are you being sarcastic? I hope you're being sarcastic.

[@cobrakingtv3146]

Flug Blarg I'm 75% serious.

[@ramarromarrone]

CobrakingTV It's not Chinese you Dumbass,not even close

[@ubmoment]

0:37 i think that's messed up even for cyanide and happines

[@Bee-cw9ho]

UberCat Everyone make mistakes

[@bloxxer_tv]

_boy howdy it's a joyride_

[@1yearago922]

I've seen worse from these guys😂

[@Doctor_Straing_Strange]

Nope, not dark and edgy enough

[@feb9511]

Nah, it was funny

[@ChuuniVT]

I love the kids face when she was overly-happy to see the kitties

[@Gurianthe]

I'm loving how nobody got offended by the dead baby joke but everyone is offended by the bible joke. this is gold

[@matcha6710]

Because there's weight and truth to the bible joke and that pisses off the snowflake Christians lol

[@afhamzaki2588]

A baby was mashed with a bowling ball and you guys are arguing about the Bible? WTF?

[@pack389ns]

No one ever said the world was smart, or took logic into any consideration. But I completely agree with you!

[@afhamzaki2588]

daniel wiles Yes. People would understandably be upset that this show made fun of their religion. I wouldn't even think about insulting or making fun of other people's religions because I think that its a very shitty thing to do. But Cyanide just showed us a guy brutally killing a baby with a bowling ball as comedy. And I don't find that shit funny at all.

[@heretic124]

Afham Zaki In that case I don't think Cyanide is a channel for you.

[@razielhamalakh9813]

Afham Zaki It's called "Cyanide & happiness". You know, that deadly poison & joyful state of a man. Kinda hints "DARK HUMOR AHEAD". In every episode of C&H someone suffers in some way, mostly physical. This is how they roll. Deal with it. Oh, and that Bible bit? Loved it. Didn't care about big blue cat thing though.

[@afhamzaki2588]

Raziel Qwazar Yeah, I get that its black comedy. Its the reason I subscribed to this humorous channel. I always like me some black humor. But killing a baby with a bowling ball? That ain't funny.

[@hadiaraad3382]

10:36 that was so fricking hilarious XD

[@damiensurnameless4586]

"clawford the big blue cat" NO. JUST NO. I DIED AT THIS POINT *DEAD*

[@Slenderslayer351]

@@xox8874 I hate the girl though, her voice is annoying

[@yotamkaspi8508]

What's with all the people disliking because of the "cruel jokes"? This is Cyanide and Happiness, what the fuck did you expect? If you want a kid-friendly cartoon go watch Spongebob or something

[@corvuhs]

100 Points.

[@useraccount6157]

I honestly disliked it because I thought it was disappointing and that they need to put a bit more thought into what they're making instead of just scribbling something out. They have so many subs that if we didn't do anything, they could just scribble anything out and make money off it from just views, and unless you dislike when you think they're just dragging around, then they aren't going to try to make an improvement. The only things I actually liked from this were some of the scientist scenes.

[@Trailmix69]

FINALLY SOMEONE WHO ISNT A RELIGIOUS NUT

[@corvuhs]

UberHaxor Pie over 20500 like - over 1500 dislike....i would say, the most People like it.

[@useraccount6157]

I wasn't saying that most people hated it, I was just saying I personally was disappointed so I left my own dislike to represent my own disapproval then described why I disliked because it could contribute to the original comment because maybe a lot of the dislikes were for reasons similar to mine, or maybe it was actually just butthurt people, but I was just providing an alternative idea.

[@alexagomez111]

"This is a total CATastrophy"

[@rb1471]

+Alexa Gomez Would you like a cat ass trophy?

[@playmoshi124]

Get out.

[@alexagomez111]

+Moshi Plays Just quoting 9:50

[@playmoshi124]

+Alexa Gomez Sorry, my mistake. Can you wait a second?

[@playmoshi124]

+ExplosmEntertainment GTFO.

[@Korne127]

4:00 - 4:06 He shows the same book (Quantum theory) 5 times…

[@user-fo3to8rn2x]

Lol

[@Dorian-ii8gl]

One Bible joke and you rilled up a bunch of people who don't care that you had literally squished, clawed, gutted, and other such things. Yet you put in a joke about how religion really has screwed us over as a species in the long run, and suddenly you guys are "offensive" Besides the annoying commenters (me being one myself) loving the episodes!

[@Dorian-ii8gl]

Edit* Squished, clawed, and murdered people. Still find it funny how you can get away with that but put a five second religion joke and the world goes to hell.

[@Glukgluk-be6bn]

I don't see how it screws us over. It brings people together. Any religion does

[@Dos_Caffeine]

The whole bible joke is actually true though.. If it weren't for religion, the human race would be MORE technologically advanced than we are now. Moral of the story: Religion holds back the improvement of the human race.

[@TPHRyan]

You say that like it's verifiable fact, but who knows what would have happened if there was no religion? We could be better off, or we could be dead.

[@Dos_Caffeine]

TheInnocence111 There would be no murder, no heads being chopped off, if there was no religion, there would be peace... In the time since recorded history, there has only been 288 years of peace, you can take a guess at what most of those wars were from..

[@OreallyR17]

I have one problem with the throwing the books into the -teleporter- time machine. ...how did the cave man learn to decipher the language?

[@NavnikBHSilver]

The same way he made a car out of wood.

[@OreallyR17]

Navnik BHSilver Not to be an ass. But I believe it's called a wagon.

[@NavnikBHSilver]

***** Point taken, though it clearly was implied to be a car.

[@OreallyR17]

Navnik BHSilver Oh definetly.

[@thatlad27]

It's a cartoon, stop thinking so deeply about it, just enjoy

[@Keyfur91]

Someone remind me, why is this called 'Granpa's War Stories' again?

[@sturnburn2192]

Because... Huh. Eh, I got nothin'

[@IAmNumber4000]

Because the Bible joke started World War 3 and "Grandpa" is a time traveler from the future.

[@icykiwi6650]

Because... Umm... Well I... I don't know...

[@sturnburn2192]

Lucas Lidgard I feel like that one guard in the Monty Python and the Holy Grail scene. "Oooh ooh er... if we.. er.. what if we...."

[@juliancanilao2648]

***** well like war u see war its war ok

[@literatvre1068]

Dark humor is like clean water, Not everyone gets it

[@ExtraSillylilguy]

LMAFO 🤣

[@reshminair7981]

Kano The Volcano no u

[@ajuuran2890]

You.....damne...xD

[@guilhermejunior6895]

People are complaining about a bible joke, but don't complain about the baby getting killed in the beggining, or the assassin cat. Right. Really, The bible joke is pretty funny if you think a little bit

[@Temido2222]

I agree with you 100%

[@stewie4467]

I stopped watching after the baby part in the beginning, so I guess you're wrong :/

[@guilhermejunior6895]

Yeah this episode taked the Dark humour TOO Drasticaly.

[@bliesberg]

***** I don't really have much of a preference either way but I think that 90% of the atheists on the internet are that way because it's a rebellious thing to do, they probably know less about science than most Christians do about the bible.

[@guilhermejunior6895]

This is unhapilly true. destroy the credibility

[@yufery5]

Note to self: Never look at Cyanide and Happiness comments. There will always be wars here.

[@Sajer-ch4zy]

Thanks for the tip

[@Domonhk]

Shit, I failed :'(

[@yufery5]

Isaiah Rice It's okay, you will are accepted. C:

[@nameless805]

I finally understand. The title doesn't describe the video... It actually describes the comments.

[@yufery5]

Dr. Killswitch Oh my...you're right.

[@charlethemagne5466]

The bible rage...so delicious. Please continue, these debates make me giggle like a little girl.

[@thenerdgirlgamer7861]

+bruh do you even swag Tmi.. Tmi...

[@flash90052]

There are no debates.

[@nils3989]

Atheist weeaboos?

[@Dilligaf777]

+MythManiac Yes lets romanticize the world we live in.

[@user-lo1iv6tu6r]

oh man oh man...how a fucking cartoon can make a religion war...

[@seizurezeperoni3366]

As a christian, I'm not offended since this is Cyanide and Happiness after all.

[@alexholmberg7725]

Exactly and I don't believe in anyone not even Big Bang or a god

[@nextlifeonearth]

+Tozze Holmberg read into Stephen Hawking's works, you'll change your mind about either of these beliefs, depending on how smart you are. Reading the bible will make disbelief stronger by the by.

[@hamishbenham4845]

+CapnTates saying that the Bible will make disbelief stronger is a pretty close minded and stereotyping thing to say considering Atheiests claim to be so open minded. While Hawking is a genius and has provided a great number of important theories for humanity neither he nor anyone else can explain where the matter and energy for the Big bang came from. Given that creation of either violates one of the most unbreakable laws in science we simply cannot know how the Big Bang occurred whether it was a cosmic accident or whether it was 'pushed'

[@nextlifeonearth]

Hamish Benham Then where did your god come from?

[@hamishbenham4845]

+CapnTates the integral argument is that God never didn't exist (which I admit is hard to understand) The idea that God transends the rules and nature of the universe via Omnipotence is the same thing that allows him to have always existed and to bypass laws that (from a Christian perspective) he put in place

[@kokeshkokesh]

Love the bible reference. "Bible - holding people back for two thousand years ". Nice!

[@kokeshkokesh]

OK, will try. Jesus... I hope i don't end up in hell :)

[@MrPhoenix196]

Davion Fleming He didn't say anything atheist... I'm christian and i think Bible has kept men back for a lot. When science started growing in the Middle Age, Religion put a break to it because "it diverged from what Bible said"... and it's stupid because Bible was written by men inspired by God, therefore it has nothing to do with science. That comment states the truth: men are stupid and wrong many times, at the same time they are awesome. Cool, isn't it?

[@Arrow3766]

Did you forget the fact that Religion is the only reason the Us is know as the us, and so on and so forth

[@xopegood]

Cleveland Brown I really don't think there is much honor in being known as one of the countries with the most flawed comunities and governments...

[@Arrow3766]

***** the U.S.A was founded by people who came to this country for religious freedom.

[@DanDaMiniFig]

In the beginning, I expected the bowling ball in pieces and the baby fine.

[@PierceMD]

Same here.

[@wilsonrivera8756]

I expected that too because cyanide and happiness is super random

[@MadWasp01]

Not so predictable now is it?

[@fluffybunny6454]

I don't care about the bible joke, or the baby joke, or the euthanasia joke, because that's what they are, jokes, and should be treated as such. WHAT I'M INTERESTED IN IS HOW HAS THIS VIDEO NOT BEEN FLAGGED FOR USING A COPYRIGHTED SONG! (btw that song is Be Good To Yourself by Journey at the end)

[@theicykidflyy]

They obvi had permission

[@fluffybunny6454]

Darnel Burnette This web show got permission to use a song from a very popular rock band, and if your comment was sarcasm it didn't come off that way.

[@theicykidflyy]

It wasnt sarcasm, and yes they did you see how much views they get per episode they must of had permisson

[@BananananaGamer]

Darnel Burnette How the fuck are youso stupid

[@theicykidflyy]

can u not

[@hrgjblv]

“AIR MAKES MY FACE COLD!” Little Girl, 2014

[@aidlamb]

Wait why did a scientist have a bible

[@11atron]

he needed a table level

[@aidlamb]

Haha 11atron​

[@Chocopacotaco1413]

aiden lambert actually if you were watching that is not a joke. it is what happened in the story

[@aidlamb]

Derek Halder​ i know

[@nramirez0699]

11atron kek

[@themodernvelociraptor901]

Honestly on the first one I thought the guy would crash and the baby would be fine hoping out of the trunk

[@themodernvelociraptor901]

Hopping*

[@mrmudkip2gaming]

Same here.

[@vorducas]

I thought the door would open and the baby would be in the front seat, and you'd hear the man screaming from the trunk. EDIT: I spelled trunk, trunck. I is smert I premise

[@ashleyornelas4317]

I was cringing so bad there xc.

[@MrHacker111]

If god isn't real, then why does water freeze at exactly 0 degrees Celsius? Christians 1 - Atheists 0

[@texaspistolmassacre8845]

if god is real, why do trolls exist?

[@theepicpebble99]

Science...

[@tigerkarnival7611]

theepicpebble99 was jokes

[@nolanlind1932]

I reeeaaally hope that was a joke...

[@interspark]

Seriously? Because Anders Celsius decided that's where the system would start. Glad I could help. Hail science.

[@potatogodalmighty2331]

The ending music to this episode is so amazing

[@useraccount6157]

Guys, can we stop fighting over the bible part? It was honestly the only thing I laughed at, and I'm a Christian myself. It's just an animated series, nothing to get so worked up about.

[@CynicalNarcissist]

people are stupid and need to rage.. humanity

[@CynicalNarcissist]

The bible is gods word yet written by man lmao ok

[@Energehh]

Macedonia Ball Then its not gods work. And it's a joke, so dont take it so personally, learn to laugh even at jokes that consist of your beliefs or things you really care about.

[@MrStone125]

Macedonia Ball Or you know, every other side has those idiots who can't take a joke.

[@Energehh]

Macedonia Ball they can take it better than christians.

[@tmod231]

The girl that adopted the cat was fucking hilarious

[@GTheepicguy]

This is a CAT-tastrophe

[@testicletwist5661]

***** yes, feed him our thumbs 'till they burst from his bowels!

[@carlosdezayas2757]

why do I suddenly want to see Clifford vs clawford

[@NexTheKig-Yar]

Clawford would win.

[@deadmansled]

@@NexTheKig-Yar are we sure about that?

[@somethingunknown6119]

I wana see it and i think it will be a draw

[@pissedinyourcornflakes2939]

The super computer or the dog?

[@Rwtheking]

@@deadmansled I don’t think Clifford has the guts to put down Clawford because Clawford preemptively tore them out.

[@Lisa-en2xt]

These clips are funnier than any other CARTOON or episode on tv today

[@carlllama9228]

Plot twist: She was crying about the destroyed car.

[@epicbros5219]

CARRRRRRRRLLLLLLL.

[@thathypermonkey3306]

CARLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL THAT KILLS PEOPLE

[@cheytheasshat4632]

CARRRRRRLLLLL

[@Nox_Bishop]

hahaha, that one with the Holy Bible was freaking hilarious!!! XD XD XD

[@cydonianknight2945]

I'm Christian and I still found it funny XD

[@mikes899999]

Minecraftiscool Sometimes telling the truth is just plane funny.

[@Thedarkassassin88]

Too true

[@TheJumperAM]

Loved the jokes, especeially the bible one, so true! :D

[@Jaybiooh]

Yeah that one really gave me the chuckles.

[@hynjus001]

have you seen the family guy where stewie travelled to a parallel earth where Christianity never happened.

[@ferbthe2gadgetguy]

Guessing you 2 are a Atheist well i hate people like you laughing at people belifies actually thats it

[@MaliciousWilson]

ferbthe2gadgetguy I personally don't follow any religion. I still think it was funny :D

[@Jaybiooh]

Hm the joke isnt so much about believing in god, it is more about the conservative mindset of religious people that can hold technological progress back. Church is still bitching about condoms, also look at the medieval ages..

[@acemazes2474]

The Clawford the cat one made me laugh and almost cry. Though, a lot of cats are like him though. Love 1 human, and want to murder everyone else.

[@86LukeM]

I want to send the time machine skit to all my religious friends.

[@silkthyme]

Please do.

[@86LukeM]

Oh I will because I'm an agnostic, and nothing more enjoyable then pissing them off.

[@silkthyme]

Had to google that one. It seems that I am an agnostic as well.

[@86LukeM]

I made my sister in-law say three Hail Marys, when I showed her C&H crusi-flex and Jesus requesting a spike to keep his sandals on.

[@axlorg89]

Luke McGhee that's pretty awful. I'm athiest because I hated people forcing beliefs on me and not even paying attention to what I thought. I guess there's ass hats on both sides...

[@UltraNerdyGamer]

I'm conived that the little girl from the Clawford short is just Toad in a dress.

[@HotSauceBear]

Maybe, maybe not

[@HotSauceBear]

Probably

[@HotSauceBear]

Yes

[@jorger1818]

I was just about to comment that.

[@Pharozos]

HURGGGHH-EEEEEEEEE!

[@sadf8ce]

9:54 "This is a totaly cat-astrophy." xDDD

[@aidanreid5869]

Air conditioning !! Now sweety having a cat is a big responsability Air makes my face cold

[@voEovove]

I'm a Christian and the part with the bible made me almost choke on my coffee. It's definitely the best part of this episode lol

[@HitTheFloor16]

Who would accept a god that punishes you by making you burn for eternity for not doing everything by a book your entire life

[@Pluto-ek3mh]

I don’t get it 😭

[@lilheinz9496]

@@Pluto-ek3mh a lot of folks believe that the persecution of pagans by the Catholic Church the stifled the progress of advancement in science/engineering/ and medicine.

[@Pluto-ek3mh]

@@lilheinz9496 thank you!

[@sniping2319]

Yup

[@TheScoutnation]

damn that bibal

[@zexion1337]

***** Maybe s/he just made up a new fictional spelling for the fictional book ;D

[@mitchwalter9466]

zexion1337 You do realize that the only reason that science sounds "logical" is because you are used to it and that its not just some fairytale book. The bible made several scientific inquiries that at the time it was written, were believed to be false. for example, the bible made claim thatthe world was round, whilst the common knowledge among the scientific community was that the world was flat. Does that sound like fiction to you or do still believe the world is flat

[@Trunkerunk]

Mitch Walter No it made some statements which could vaguely be interpreted as the world being round, pretty much only if you already knew that. It also made a few suggesting the world was flat. And example being "the four corners of the earth", which is a common expression now but originates from a bible passage that meant it literally. And Isiah describes the earth like a tent, the earth being the flat bottom and the sky being the canvas curving up over it. Religious people always seem to just take really ambiguous parts of the bible and add some modern translation to it that was really never there in the first place.

[@MrJoeyWheeler]

Mitch Walter nowhere in your babble doe sit say the earth was round. Instead, it offers a passage where someone at the top of the mountain could see everything. And let's not forget, no matter how much you try to whitewash this, your book was taken absolutely literally without question until recently, historically speaking. Everything in it was intended to be literal, not metaphorical. Your book also claims there was a firmament, but science quite easily proves why that isn't possible. Science is logical because it bases itself on evidence and reason, the cornerstones of logical arguments. Religion makes assertions and never actually backs them up.

[@victorreed5590]

Mitch Walter Some people don't realize that up until about 150 years ago, every major scientific discovery was made by theists or based on the work of theists. And only in the past 50 years have armchair intellectuals decided to start pushing for the perception that Theists had stunted the sciences or have nothing to offer to the sciences.

[@murmaider2]

South park lasted 17 seasons before it got stupid. Your show lasted 3 episodes.

[@That_Puppet]

What about all the shorts he's made? These arent his only videos dumbass. Also, its only one or two guys, and they dont have any sort of budget like southpark does. They have to be original, while south park just parodies current evevents for the most part.

[@TheDittro]

Dude, this show is supposed to be stupid, that's it's thing.

[@TSFHGW2]

***** On ign

[@Bullet25fxbx]

I'm sorry you don't find stupidity funny.

[@ThanksIhateyoutoo]

Are you fucking kidding me!?!? South Park is better now than it has ever been! It might be the best shownon earth...competing closely with GoT.

[@KingFreshies]

"Grandpa's war stories"

[@GraverFILMS]

Wow right when I was gonna go to sleep xD

[@TWDCx]

Oh my god! Same here!

[@berrykramer3726]

Yep here too

[@AwkwardnessCentral]

I was about to press like then realised this wasn't facebook... #tired

[@CrazyVinesFSC]

I just wake up

[@mccl0ut]

SaveForVineApp - 0 Subscribers Me too

[@BaggyMcPiper]

It's stupid to claim that religion 'held back' science, since technology and culture don't 'progress' in a linear fashion. Real life isn't like Civilization, where you collect points over time to unlock new tech levels. Anyway, the Catholic Church actually was a great (and still is) a great patron of the sciences, and the Islamic Golden Age ushered in many great achievements in mathematics, medicine, and natural science.

[@xCosmicHippiex]

too bad it sucks today

[@StolasGW]

Yeah you know except for the whole Middle Ages thing where the Catholic Church literally killed anyone who disagreed with them. And I do recognize that the Catholic Church, especially in modern day society, has done a lot to help forward scientific thinking. But don't ignore the FACT that there was a LONG point in time where it severely held back scientific progress

[@christians.4938]

It kinda did...

[@dinkysaurus1100]

***** I heard it was 1000 years more advanced in terms of science, but that's just what I heard.

[@halowolf143]

Dinky Saurus No thats roughly about how long the Middle/Dark Ages lasted but I am pretty sure that it held back scientific process for about 500 years or so.

[@curlz2112]

A total "cat"tastrophe. That was the perfect line for that moment.

[@hasanahmed3284]

To do list: Fix window Put bucket on head and wait for rain Come up with new ways to spell "Rebecca"

[@BreedingDiamonds]

But the bible part was the best :c The rest was... meh, boring and kind of annoying even.

[@menacingfox]

^ This describes this episode perfect.

[@BreedingDiamonds]

The "sketches" were dragged too long after the joke was already made. there was no need to show like 2 minutes of the guy driving, a few seconds is enough to get the joke, laugh at it and move on. I loved the girl in the cat part... but the clip was so long it got boring really quickly. same with the time machine, it was good... unnecesarily long tho... the first episode with little clips featuring the same thing (human bugs) was pretty clever and fun. we need more stuff like this and more dark humor like the bible thing... Isn't that what most of C&H is about? Dark humor?

[@cakulha5467]

***** Fuck off. I bet you complain when they do 2 minute sketches as well.

[@mrsuperwill1]

Cakulha It wasn't complaining, it was constructive criticism. Calm your ham.

[@AtomsharkStudio]

mrsuperwill1 it was not constructive criticism is not telling people what YOU like or dislike it is telling them stuff that is provable good or bad

[@puglife8041]

I'm Christian, and I find this video extremely.... Funny and entertaining. It saddens me that people can be so easily offended.

[@PancakeLord0910]

AIR CONDITION!!!!!!!!!! AIR MAKES MY FACE COLD!

[@liliowen2132]

That child is crazy, I like to think that she and Clawford became slightly antagonistic (in a sort of antihero sense) and no one can stop them.

[@KriskeC]

The Most Ancient Joke In The Book: Rawr Rawr uga booga boo. Which roughly translates as I love you and I will always care for you.

[@D0unutMan]

But I just wanna stay friends

[@bl00dbr0ther666]

D0unutMan Guys, get this reply more likes than the comment. This joke was better.

[@Crowvithian]

Wow you're *WAY* off. Where did you take Dinosaur language? The Janitor's closet? Pfff... I'll have you know I graduated top of my class at Casper's School of Friendly Dinosaur Ghost Wannabes. What they said was, "My anus is bleeding"

[@SalsaInABowl]

Rawr rawr uga booga boo Lol amirite

[@JGD714]

D0unutMan Friend dinosaur zoned?

[@afrojacks4462]

this is the earliest I've ever been

[@KylePalloOfficial]

Not really, these are actually usually uploaded a couple hours ago.

[@Ninjadave0o]

CaptainKittyLitter So you just happen to know when this Afro Jacks guy looks at these videos?

[@pdoglarsen]

You should probably see a doctor about that.

[@AValveFanboy]

I get the joke of the opening sketch, but I was just really uncomfortable for the whole way through.

[@Fizzbuzzbizzfuzz2]

-_-

[@AnarchicKhajiit]

I think that was intentional.

[@stab456]

Yeah.. my Fiancee miscarried so that joke stung.. a bit.

[@kbk64]

Atheism rules :)

[@AValveFanboy]

kbk64 Objection, your honour. Relevance?

[@AuroraBorealis170]

remember that meme of Google search "help I accidentally built a shelf" "help, I accidentally built a one-way time machine thinking it was a teleporting device"

[@packRabbit]

I really don't see why people are getting all butt-hurt about the Bible joke. Shows like this are offensive to many groups at once like all the time. That's where they get their comedy from. I'm a christian and you don't see me complaining.

But you're complaining about u complaining so I do see you complaining...

[@GrimslyRyuzaki]

Fenmio Don't you find it a little strange you belive in an imaginary friend though? Who wouldn't make fun of you for that lol.

[@packRabbit]

What have I done...

[@Maldor_95]

I myself am Anglican and found that joke was dam fkn funny

[@kevinfox298]

Have to agree with you, there. Religion has the ability to cause such a great amount of contention and conflict, and people who are in conflict with each other can't very easily join forces to advance science and technology.

[@d_breadstix_guy1603]

Has any1 realized that the title of the episode doesn't mean anything to the actual episode lol

[@jorger1818]

That's how all of these episodes are working.

[@SoapyTF]

but wasn't there one in the first one that actually related to the beach?

[@jorger1818]

TheKZbinEqualist Nope, it related to being stranded in the middle of the sea, but nothing to do with a beach.

[@SoapyTF]

maybe the one I was thinking of was just a normal short

[@tayloredmondson704]

I think it's a joke

[@samtherat6]

Why are people complaining about the Bible in the video when there was a child who watched a giant blue cat rip her mother apart and then rides it off into the sunset?

[@bobtheasymmetricaltrashcan4596]

I think they are commenting about the teleporter part where the scientist throw the bible in the machine

[@kevinfu343]

Oh thank...you so much for pointing that out. (I was going to say thank god but decided not to.)

[@1zin1]

rexon lo wow you have got to be the dumbest person to ever comment on youtube ever. amtherat6 was saying why are people complaining about the bible part when there are much worse scenes. god ...so dense..

[@THStRuXsTiCk]

Because they're fucking morons. Truth of the world....

[@onan3806]

THANK YOU.

[@creatorulblank6118]

The best joke was in " Clawford the big blue cat": the girl faces and reactions.

[@radiancefrancois5711]

Why did he kill the baby. I thought it was going to be a joke where the baby didn't even get harmed or something. But no...just a dead baby.

[@magicscreenman]

Exactly. I don't understand why C&H thinks that the simple presence of a dead baby is funny. If any of them are parents, I sincerely hope they never have to go through the gut-wrenching horror of losing a child. But then again, if that did ever happen, it would be poetic justice on such a large scale, and a little tiny part of me that is just as sick and twisted as they are would be laughing.

[@TimpsterTheDude]

Radiance Francois magicscreenman Welcome to Cyanide & Happiness, dark humor is the nr.1 Trademark here.

[@Shadow25720]

TimpsterTheDude It was not dark humor, becaus theres no joke, it was just a dead babie. Or have I missed the joke?

[@Pharozos]

magicscreenman So you start out by saying it goes to far then you wish the same on them. They were joking about it but your for real. I think you need to have a long hard look in the mirror.

[@magicscreenman]

Pharozos Never said I wished it on them. I said if it did happen, part of me would be going "With all the dead baby jokes you put out, you really did have that coming". Big difference, there, bub.

[@itsraventm]

I'm Christian and I don't find the bible joke offensive. What I do find offensive is the people in the comment section. But hey, it's the Internet. Everyone is a jerk all the time XD

[@izzycirrus]

Nuclearpigz That last line is true. They need to stop jerk-ing off!

[@Tomninis]

Nuclearpigz if you notice good everything turns back to lame when he throws the bibble xD no offense im christian true :)

[@Razor-Blade]

Same here brother

[@frostyuri5496]

Nuclearpigz yep

[@haileycandeza-solano]

oh, there they are, people claiming to be Christians.,. are you?

[@jurekmonk]

I am falling in love in C&H again and again 😁😁😘 that moment with the Holy Bible just made my day 😂👍

[@Sweetcommando]

wow, grandpa went through some tough shit in the war

[@darkthagoras]

That was awesome and clever; this reminds me of a few years ago when I left a bowling ball in the trunk of my car, not thinking of the implications that would soon follow. Inevitably , it knocked out a tail-light and I got pulled over.

[@iiollie058]

If god isnt real, then who delivers presents to us on christmas day? Christians - 1 Atheists - 0

[@iiollie058]

***** Thats the exact type of response i expected from an atheist, trying to make disprove my belief by poking fun at it. I WILL NOT BE ABUSED BY YOU FILTHY PAGANS!

[@iiollie058]

***** Oh so now you are trying to buy yourself acceptance from god by denouncing your lack of belief in him, you make me sick.

[@iiollie058]

***** In case you havent figured it out yet, im joking.

[@akiflyer]

Santa Claus Christians - 0 Atheists - 0 Paganism - 1

[@vinriv360]

What is wrong with you damn Christians..mWe atheist just don't BELIVE in God.So ruck off us.Yu can't keep us from not belive in nothing.This is America

[@pastaman06]

what is with the girls voice OMG! XD

[@pastaman06]

the big blue cat one

[@colinr0380]

Its the most accurate little girl voice in all of media

[@iamarobot2894]

This video has nothing to do with religion so why are you people bringing it up? anyways great episode, a big odd, but still enjoyable.

[@TWFL01]

I think a lot of people are butthurt that the scientist threw a bible into the time machine and suddenly the world outside went from high tech to crap. It's *not* about religion, but for some people, *everything* is about religion.

[@iamarobot2894]

Dillon Martin Some people are born into religion so that's how they live their lives. Which is why I think it's ridiculous for these Atheist to keep attacking their beliefs like this. I think they should just leave the religious people alone.

[@TWFL01]

I am a Robot It's a vicious cycle; I've seen it happen the other way 'round, too, with people attacking atheists because they "care about their eternal souls", so they thump them on the head with a bible until they become beligerrent and take to the streets! *ahem* internet, spreading the same kind of intolerance. I'm not saying either is worse than the other, but it's not so cut and dry as one attacking the other. This is a dance that's been going on for a long time. Really, it would help a lot if both parties to this debate would just shut the hell up and enjoy the silly video.

[@iamarobot2894]

Dillon Martin I agree with you.

[@Stickbabiga]

Religion makes the world a shittier place. No doubt about it. Sure you can argue that local Churches are "charitable" but let's be honest, Christianity is responsible for the Dark Ages, the Inquisition, the Crusades, and (as the episode and Family Guy pointed out), a major lag in the progression of technology. Islam in the Middle East... nuff said. And hell, Roman/Greek mythology was pretty fucked up as well.

[@cristian-si1gb]

Ok, I must admit that I'm not really offended by the Bible part... And I'm a Christian! I mean it really funny! But really now, religion itself it's a proof of our intelligence. Because we are seeking answers to our existence. Yes, it has bad sides and can be exploited, but it's still one of the biggest and earliest realizations we, as a specie, made.

[@MrImagayguy]

Fair enough :3 lol. Religious people: 1 Atheists: 1 as well.

[@marioandmuffin]

MrImagayguy are you Michael Jackson

[@TheGreatBenjie]

not really seeking, yall say jesus is the answer to everything...

[@pbfloyd13]

So were the Greek gods, but you don't see any one running around worshiping Zeus or Poseidon.

[@TheDittro]

I'm a Christian and I watch this. Ha, but it's actually true in terms of history, no?

[@williamblackwood2934]

I'm a christian and I'd like to just say this. About the bible joke... that's just it. It was a joke. A completely harmless, inaccurate joke. We, as Christians, make fun of atheists all the time. If we can't take it then we shouldn't dish it out. While I, as an educated individual, disagree about the bible handicapping our forward movement in advancement, I still chuckled a little bit. So, brothers and sisters in Christ, we were told by our lord to turn the other cheek, so do so. If atheists mock us(no offense all you atheists) so freaking what. WE mock them too. It all just turns into a pissing contest. So both of our groups need to just let it be.

[@williamblackwood2934]

***** The Dark Ages was the Fall of the Roman Empire and the "Dark Times" of the world. We know very little about it so many things are kept in the dark. There were very view religious issues. The major one was the Protestant Reformation against the corrupt Catholic Church. However, the Catholics were not behaving like true Christians. They were fakers, and they inhibited a very small amount of Science. Thus, real Christianity did not impact it during the Dark Ages.

[@williamblackwood2934]

***** hey no problem.

[@beaurrakbeaubama8962]

Eurypharynx Pelecanoides Agnostics are idiots who cant make up there mind

[@williamblackwood2934]

I simply posted a comment that was at a neutral standpoint. I'm not going to argue my point. No need to start hating on Christians.

[@beaurrakbeaubama8962]

***** Dude, i was just being an asshole. heaps of my friends are agnostics. and im an athiest

[@carjack9974]

“Is everything ok in here” 😂

[@GingerBagels]

Hey I'm a Christian and that joke was pretty funny, wasn't too far, wasn't directly offensive and somewhat true. Peoples mistranslation of the Bible caused fear in scientific research and delayed the technological advance by hundreds of years. These guys aren't hating on religion or people of faiths, regardless of what they believe, they're making a joke, just as they joke about other 'sensitive' subject matters. Christians: Pull your head our your arse and take the joke. Atheists: Don't start bitching about religion just because you see an opportunity. I think, outside or America at least, most religions have done so much more good than harm. People are the problem, not faith.

[@J4QU1M3]

lets not forget that if the early Christians did go out and try to teach they would have been killed

[@robdavideogamer4119]

Outside of America? Have you seen the state of Egypt and other religion run countries? I'm not making a statement or anything, but religion has a much farther reach than America.

[@JBLZFTW]

more people should be like you, I'm an athiest and it bothers me seeing religious people so butthurt about one joke, but it bothers me even more from the other athiests making fake claims about god not existing, because there's no proof he doesn't. Have a wonderful day sir, you have restored a bit of faith in humanity

[@amiroueid5109]

Outside of America most religions have done so much more good than harm? Are you being serious? Every heard of the Crusades, how about Christians burning the Library of Alexandria? The dark ages didn't take place in the United State Einstein, they took place in Europe. Religion was at its worst before America was even discovered.

[@F22onblockland]

You. The world needs more people like you.

[@thatguy1713]

"You have to remember guys, adding the Bible to your joke is a big responsibility. Some people might..." "AIR CONDITIONING!!! :D"

[@Potterhead4Vida]

AIR MAKES MY FACE COLD!

[@americawashington2700]

I should've never looked at the comment section

[@tristanyoh8405]

Yeah.

[@KommissarKong]

so right

[@theshadow3438]

Damn, so many arguments about religion.

[@Lisa-en2xt]

I don't know where these guys get this shit, it's absolutely HILARIOUS

[@jaysun9138]

So many people upset about the bible joke and I'm here like, did you miss the part where they killed a baby??

[@MarkoPolo1223]

I was more pissed about the baby thing that the bible thing.

[@xaphiirerock6545]

the fact that he came up with that is quite disturbing

[@kingj282]

I wasn't offended by either, but the death of a cartoon baby isn't real, vs the real criticism of Christianity.

[@Masto7]

Yeah man I consider myself religious and I still found the bible thing funny The baby thing was just sadistic for the sake of sadistic though

[@DocFishspot]

Kingj So, you're saying that dead babies are not as big an issue as a fucking joke?