Greedy DM Thinks She Literally OWNS Her D&D Party (+ More) - RPG Horror Stories

[@CrispysTavern]

Hey everyone, sorry about the reupload. I decided (foolishly) to put off editing this video until late night and that resulted in me making a couple mistakes in editing. I mended them and got this video up as soon as possible. Despite that, I hope you guys enjoy!

[@xcaketastrophe]

aw man, as both as procrastinator and video editor, I feel that lmao- editing mistakes always suck cause the options are to either leave it alone and have it drive you crazy for the rest of eternity, or go through the rendering and uploading process again after fixing each mistake which ain't too bad but the reupload can feel kinda strange.

[@LucaFox]

I was halfway through the video when it suddenly cut out! Thought maybe Susan didn't like something in the video!

[@Sapreme]

i was liek, WHAT IS THIS NOISE???????

[@billybobjenkins3031]

8bit8k 88888888888878888888888888888888888ifo Olli o oolong loll 9

[@SuperBatSpider]

I made a character who had a backstory at level 1 involving killing a dragon. The reason it worked: She was making it the fuck up.

[@theinquisitorisamage1653]

Oh that got a laugh out of me - thank you, awesome person.

[@SuperBatSpider]

@@theinquisitorisamage1653 I made the story as unbelievable as possible because she was a drow and society says they have to be good liars. But she was actually a terrible liar.

[@SuperBatSpider]

@@theinquisitorisamage1653 She ended up a great Wizard, her family still doesn’t like her but she got to the end and the party won. She fake married the evil king so she could use illusory script to make him sign over his kingdom to her in what he thought was marriage papers. Her first good lie.

[@theinquisitorisamage1653]

@@SuperBatSpiderShe sounds like an awesome character, and it also sounds like a bit of background lore for a future campaign: a group of adventures manage to come to a land, ruled by a wizard who conne the kingdom from an evil king (who may or may not have sworn vengeance, if still alive?)

[@SuperBatSpider]

@@theinquisitorisamage1653 Unfortunately the DM at the time turned out to be a creep and I’ve left the server. Sucks because my favorite character of mine was there, a Half-Orc child Warlock. Tricked by their patron into becoming a serial killer.

[@proteanvixen]

For the first story, I have a bigger question - if this was supposed to be a big grand martial tournament, why would the sorceror be allowed to cast spells? That would be an instant DQ during the tournament so his showdown with the barbarian should have been martial only, resulting in a pulpy red smear that used to cast magic.

[@spankey1288]

I would have had the referee count flying above the arena as an attempt to flee, offering a warning for if they do not return to the battle of disqualification

[@quesamigosproductions9981]

I'm the guy who wrote the first story. When asked if magic was allowed DM just said "anything goes".

[@JP-eh4ee]

@@quesamigosproductions9981 did narcissist sor receive any repurcussion?

[@quesamigosproductions9981]

@@JP-eh4ee yeah I picked up a fly scroll and I killed him before the BBEG battle. Figured it would be poetic justice to make him sit out the final fight. And best part was "it's what my character would do" 😂.

[@blutkopfhinoken4632]

@@quesamigosproductions9981 One question I have is how was he able to do multiple fireballs in one turn?

[@zixserro1]

Opening Story: DM could've easily allowed the sorcerer to compete in the tournament, but in a mages' bracket. Pitting casters with obvious benefits against non-magical warriors doesn't make much sense. Alternatively, once a winner is declared, the loser is healed and restored by some magical artifact with limited usage used only for the tournament. Easy ways to not completely kill OP's character.

[@TailAbNormal]

Seriously. I'll never understand how or why some DMs manage to F-up this badly. However I think at least a little blame should go to OP since they didn't have any range attack whatsoever and they should've been able to guess that the sorcerer use their most busted abilities against them.

[@flannelpillowcase6475]

one of the biggest sins among DMs i notice is lack of imagination and poor improvisation

[@NeoVault_]

First story, really ticked me off in different ways. As you already stated which covered most my thoughts. DM should've shut down spotlight hog, and OP could've probably use a large rock and hit spotlight hogger out of the air.

[@Persholm1]

Yes, hit 'im in the air with a rock... irl and in game.

[@machoboys8884]

Seems like DM did try to shut it down but OP accepted

[@chaos4654]

Or the tournament could've been anti aerial. Oops, the crowd and organizers instantly hate you Spotlight Hog, you either get get down or get ganged up on by everyone. Or Oops, you flew right into a lightning trap. This is a ground only arena.

[@duskgaming18]

@@chaos4654 I'd probably just say "And along came Zeus!" *Rolls 500d12 Lightning Damage*

[@chaos4654]

@@duskgaming18 My mind slid to the other way people use the phrase... Now I'm just imagining Spotlight Hog getting handed a F.A.T.A.L sheet and asked to roll for an*l circumference. ... Then not being allowed/able to make either of the saves against lighting d*ng. XD

[@happybatty5142]

oh god MLMs in DnD sounds like a fuckin nightmare! I would nope tf out too and good on the players for doing so. It seemed like the money corrupted that DM. It started as a polite request, but escalated to demands and entitlement.

[@iamaunicorn1232]

If "missing opportunities to make money" is a quote she was a money grubber beforehand.

[@sherylcascadden4988]

I completely agree.

[@sherylcascadden4988]

@ I understand that. The first time I heard pyramid schemes referred to as MLMs I didn't know it meant Multi Level Marketing. Took me a couple of weeks to figure it out. Too many people think "everyone knows this" when it's literally (and I don't mean figuratively, I know the difference) impossible for everyone to know everything.

[@Schweighsr]

If I were in that game with DM playing D&D with himself, my character would have stopped forward motion and found a tavern. Or announced that I had found a place to sit to watch this "epic combat", then cheered for the monsters and heckled 'Blitz'. Or packed up my stuff and left.

[@theoriginaltoast420]

For the friend who just didn't want to be excluded: I've found that letting them play an important NPC is a great way to go. They don't have to commit to showing up or playing the game, and when they are included, they feel important and like the spotlight is on them. This is great for significant others who come with a players occasionally, roommates who don't want to play, but like the roleplay, etc.

[@BadassHater1]

Uuuhmmmm my brother in Bahamut. That sounds like a severe case of Main Character Syndrome with a sprinkle of Mary Sue ready to burst

[@SapphWolf]

Man, that "epic combat" scenario still could have been super epic with just a couple twists. 1. Actually make the "hero" actually overwhelmed. Like he's holding his own for now, but without back up it's only a matter of time before the dice turn against him. 2. Add traps and other monster ambushes to try and slow the party down so they have to make decisions on what to prioritize. Getting to the Hero's side or making sure their party members survive.

[@mrsplays9817]

I would've had some low-level "NPC" characters who "take up the fight until the real heroes show up" with the combat pre-rolled turn by turn, so when the game happens it's just a quick "the monsters fight against the group of wannabe adventurers. Round two they take out the leader of their small group." then whenever the party starts to interfere with the fight, start rolling from there. If the party somehow stops the monster from attacking before their X turn, they can save the wannabe hero!

[@GoblinGirlLindsey]

The second story guy was talking about a sea elf. That WOULD be really cool for a sea fairing campaign. Breath underwater, sea creature friendship, ability to communicate underwater, proficient with tridents. Hmm, imagine a sea elf eldritch knight with pole arm master. Could be fun…

[@iluvyurbles]

While yes the antagonist is definitely a problem player, op basically stomped out the creative fun for all his other players by making it humans only

[@GoblinGirlLindsey]

@@iluvyurbles I have to agree, i don't know if i'd call them a control freak but it seems like they're afraid to step outside their little box.

[@angiep2229]

Ideally, if I'm crying during or after D&D, it's because it was a REALLY good, really immersive session.

[@LukeSniper]

I was in that game in the intro story. Still play with those guys, but I'm currently DMing (was not the DM in that story, I was a bard). That party got into some really wild situations. It was kind of like a fantasy version of Always Sunny (we even owned a bar)

[@mikeharris6429]

You and your group suck for letting that happen.

[@majorasmask5523]

Yeah, but did the piece of shit get punished properly for his sin? I freaking hate pvp. Party members should work together. You don’t fucking murder another person’s player character.

[@kingbeeYT]

Is that one person still a spotlight hog? Lol

[@LukeSniper]

@@kingbeeYT I teach kids for a living, and don't tolerate any shit as a DM. If somebody interrupts someone else or won't stop talking and allow others their turn (like children tend to do) I shut it down. That player only recently joined my game as a guest (I run a party of 5 regulars with an occasional 6th as a guest). There haven't been any issues with them yet, but people had concerns, so I'm just keeping an eye out to prevent it.

[@kingbeeYT]

@@LukeSniper that's good to hear that nothings happened yet at least. Hopefully they won't go back to being a hog

[@ArawnNox]

I want a post-script to the "The DM is the Only One Playing" story. I want to know if there was any fallout or calling the DM on this BS. There's no way this whole fiasco went over well with the party spending the whole event moving or having their movement impeded.

[@mrsplays9817]

I wonder if that DM knows they can just play by themselves without having the other people over to watch it happen. I used to play DnD like that when I didn't have anyone over to play it with.

[@jamesmahon6788]

First story I was thinking why DM wouldn't have had someone in the crowd use dispell magic or hell maybe the tournament saw magic use as cheating and the arena prevented it. DM needed to handle that much better

[@stephenadams8712]

How to win DnD Have fun That's it just have fun

[@ChaosCounseling]

So speaking of basing your character off something else. My favorite character I ever made was a circle of the moon Druid who was a Darfellon(killer whale man) who was named Sham Moo and I played him as a retired stage performer/exotic dancer. I know that’s not the same thing as what was described here but he’s a character I deeply loved.

[@theenderdestruction2362]

Ok but why does that sound extremely good for like a homebrew class

[@BladeOfThePoet]

That second story sounds disturbingly like a guy I had on my table. Literally the same thing with the rolling of stats. He was an obnxious rules lawyer and would very constantly try to hog the spotlight. We had enough of him when he started stating things like they were canon to my homebrew world's lore, despite being directly contradictory to established lore, and started demanding the other characters roll persuasion to see if his own character could be bothered to be interested in keeping one of them from being wrongfully executed.

[@zixserro1]

Third Story: I mean, if that kind of thing was only limited to the first session, I don't think that's necessarily too bad. It could've been a cool leadup to the main plot hook: Not-Drizzt takes out five monsters all by himself, this amazing incredible badass hero, he's so incredible... and then a monster of the same kind he just dispatched attacks, but it's different somehow. It takes him down. It rips off one of his arms. It starts killing him. The party has finally made it there, they attack the creature. It takes all of them to defeat this single beast, with the hero laying on the ground, bleeding out and dying, shocked at the sheer power of the thing that just attacked him. Stakes are set from the start. It's only a problem if it was something happening every session.

[@ryudoblub2950]

I disagree While I am fine with your version (because there is an actual fight happening), the version in the story is just really bad. Building up a non player character in a fight is just frustrating. Its just a cutscene... why are dice even rolled? His super cool guy is clearly designed to easily win this fight. And just completely counterproductive to what the dm is trying to accomplish. Nobody thinks Frizzt is amazing for killing the monsters. They are more likely to hate him because he wasted 20 minutes in an unskippable cutscene. Combat should have the least amount of railroading in dnd! 100% railroading a fight is just pure torture!

[@zixserro1]

@@ryudoblub2950 True, but I just meant that if this is the only time this character gets a scene like this in the entire game, that isn't a huge deal. If every other battle map is just as detailed and the players actually get to do things on them, that may be worth it for this one situation. If this guy is a DMPC who shows up as a deus ex machina to save the day every time, then it's absolutely a problem.

[@mrsplays9817]

@@ryudoblub2950 What if it was like a one-minute cutscene? Narrate that in the time it takes for the party to reach the fight, this NPC is able to solo all the monsters, but then an amalgamation of the monsters forms and slaughters the NPC right as the party reaches the fight. Just all at once like that so the players don't waste any time.

[@finnmchugh99]

Path of the Giants subclass would crush the spotlight hog sorcerer imho. It specialises in range which barbarians normally lack so.... Yeah throw a boulder at em and bam!

[@AtelierGod]

I personally prefer rolling myself, after all it makes each and everyone unique rather than variations of each other. Standard point array does indeed make everyone equal but I personally think that whether you roll high or low you can still make a good story, and if anything you could make a rule that if you roll a stat total under some number like maybe 70 you reroll those stats.

[@Unregistered.HyperCam.2]

As a forever DM, as long as everyone is using the same method, I don't care if it's standard array, point buy, roll 3d6 in order, roll 4d6/drop lowest/assign as desired, roll 2d6+6, hell, roll 5d6 18 times/re-roll 1s/choose six best and assign as desired. However, if someone is asking specifically to roll stats when it's already decided other players aren't rolling stats, I'll say, "Sure, roll 3d6 in order in front of me. Innkeeper clause at -2 overall modifier." If the person agrees and rolls right in front of me and their character's stats don't fall below the innkeeper threshold, that's what's being played. If the person refuses to roll that in front of me? "A DM is an impartial referee. I'm already violating that by giving you a different option than the other players. You either take the smaller violation I offer, or you get none whatsoever."

[@ryudoblub2950]

If you refuse to take those low rolls, then you are a power gamer!

[@AtelierGod]

@@ryudoblub2950 that’s fine, I just mention that’s my preferred method, and a minimum stat total doesn’t mean you’re a power gamer it just means nobody can roll to low but still be unique.

[@lordmarshmal_0643]

​@@Unregistered.HyperCam.2 I love the 4d6/drop low method, it allows for so much variety I commented on another video about accidentally fudging my ability scores when I was tasked with the 4d6/drop low method... I ended up doing 1d20 instead, so my rolls were unintentionally way higher than usual and I didn't realize until later (currently the character is a level 5 Wild Magic sorcerer and proudly boasting a +5 and +4 in CHA and INT (and just a +2 in CON), we haven't played the campaign in a hot minute sadly) If I ever DM a game myself, I think I'll run the 4d6 method with some extra reroll guidelines: - Anything lower than a 6 or higher than a 16 gets rerolled on the spot - If your total mod falls below +1, reroll the lowest number until you reach that threshold - reverse if it's over +8

[@Unregistered.HyperCam.2]

@@lordmarshmal_0643 I believe it was 3.x that had a book(not sure if it was the DMG or not) that suggested for rolling stats to roll 4d6/drop lowest, assign as you wish, and re-roll the character if the total ability mod for the character adds up to less than 0. That seems like a pretty decent method, in my opinion, for rolling stats in 3.x/5e, where attribute values are more important than AD&D, but don't REQUIRE superbly high numbers to have a completely viable character, and require you to have a couple stats with a 15-16 base with at least average scores in other stats to be able to have a broken character, usually through feats. I personally don't care if one player at my table rolls better than another, nor do I care about a balanced game - if the players are power-gaming munchkins with broken PCs, a couple more monsters here, a smarter strong monster there, suddenly the PCs aren't nearly as broken - but I wouldn't want to have a player get disappointed because they rolled an 18 for a stat(especially if it's right in front of me and so I know they're not cheating) and tell them they have to re-roll because it's over 16, then end up rolling a 7. That makes the DM come off as less impartial and more adversarial toward the players, setting a bad precedent before the game even starts.

[@marybdrake1472]

I could not afford $30 a week, it's too much for me. And I certainly would never get involved with an MLM, they're just too dodgy.

[@net_spider]

When doing stats, I either go standard array, 4d6 drop one, or max point buy in Pathfinder (I like my players feeling powerful and it makes it easy for em to decide stats). When it comes to the rolls, if half of your dice or more are below 10, I usually let a free full reroll. No point in cheating rolls when I'm being that generous... though I still had one guy roll without me when I told everyone to roll in front of me. Had suspiciously high stats and threw a fit when I wanted him to roll in front of me.

[@varto07]

Best DM pc i ever had was during a campaign back in 3.5 E. The DM had a dark loner, who would kill any monster with a single blow and kept berating us for being so weak. As we enter an old dungeon we are ambushed by a group of goblins. This guy kills almost all the enemies and then begins to lecture us on how we were so weak a simple thing like a goblin was too much for us. At this point everyone was getting upset about this DM pc. But right after finishing his lecture, he turn and steps on a trap and gets his head chopped off, leaving us all freaking out 8and almost cheering) about his death. Nice session 1

[@ultimateninjaboi]

"I wasnt a dick to you about your campaign, so i deserve special treatment." This is a threat. Whether someone who does this INTENDS it to be one or not, it is a threat. Theyre assuring you that if you dont give them the bonus/special shit they want, theyll start being a dick. Or whatever specific bad thing they use as leverage

[@Damalon01]

Story 1: The Tiefling barbarian: Solved with one simple thing... a ranged weapon... Fly doesnt negate getting shot and if the Sorcerer was that close to dying it would have only taken a shot or two. Last I checked Barbarians could use bows or javelins.

[@quesamigosproductions9981]

I threw my weapon at him and missed both times.

[@Quandry1]

There's also potential for the DM to give certain magical items, There's potential for protections from Fire depending on what kind of Barbarian they are, or again certain magical items. That is just some basic general possibilities, there may be other specific possibilities that apply to certain kinds of Barbarians. But it's things that it takes an experienced DM and possibly a quick witted one to come up with on the fly in that kind of situation. Otherwise that situation can catch a lot of DM's off guard. But there is also issue of Luck involved unfortunately, Because The Barbarian still has to manage to land attacks, and make the dex saves against the fireballs in most instances to get it all to work out for you anyway.

[@starbird3939]

Last Story - GIMME MONEY Ooof. Poor OP had a Hunbot DM. I am surprised there aren’t more horror stories where poor DND players suddenly find themselves in a Avon/Lularoe/Cutco/MLM pander party. I have heard of MlM’ers using kids parties, reunions, bachlorette, birthday parties to hawk their overpriced garbage-so you’d think you hear more stories of some poor player having to buy amway in order tonplay as their half elf rogue or for the barbarian to hit.

[@xx4444xxDOTexe]

In regards to the rock v flying target one i had a campaign with a druid who had no ranged spells at level one and nat 1 rolled 2 or 3 javelins. The second he was told he could throw rocks he went from least lethal to second most lethal in the party like watching the first caveman discover throwing.

[@carmelitaXcooper]

It's stories like these that make me appreciate my group of people that I'm playing with so much. But it also makes me trying to be extra cautious of what kind of player I am. I'm running a half Elf warlock with multiple personalities. Everytime he has a long rest, I have to role a d4 at what personality will be out that day! It's really fun and exciting. I was worried that my friends would get impatient with me or annoyed at some of my characters attics. But so far I've got really good feed back, with just a one or two bits of advice. It's my first time as a spell caster also, which added to my nervousness. I hope that the people in these stories continue to keep looking for good groups to play with and make good memories and out weight the bad. That's what dnd is about!

[@thatanonymouschocolate]

Not Carla trying to rob her players and try to get them in a pyramid scheme 💀

[@Kruhee]

He's flubbing his dice for SURE if the "excitement" of the character comes from something he would have never been able to control.

[@ChaosCounseling]

The title has me running scared

[@MorningStar426]

Oof, those Mary Kay huns are relentless and the products are subpar at best. And charging $30 a week and demanding what were probably expensive snacks? Sounds like she wanted her friends to be her wallet and her pantry.

[@JB1996TF]

Why would you WANT to be friends with this girl? The first chance I got to end the friendship I'd be jumping ship

[@MisterDiceGuy]

I appreciate players contributing. I don't think all the cost and effort should be the DM's. I think it's actually reasonable for DMs to say "Hey this is the cost of stuff, let's all pitch in" since it is a shared and enjoyed experience. $30 a week per person is way too much. Hell that's too much for the group per month. Even if everyone prior to the sessions put in like 80-100 to purchase materials, that doesn't need to be a rolling subscription.

[@crypticcryptid4702]

You bringing up a well placed rock reminded me of the time one of our wizards got slammed by a stone while flying.

[@cory6266]

"7 foot tall tiefling barbarian named BLUUURG!" That is one amazing first character.

[@SamhainVenus]

The Not a True Friend one just makes me sad. Losing her friend group because nobody heard of just Hanging Out Casually is a shame

[@droidicarus]

I rolled for my first character and he was so BROKEN! I thought my luck would hold out for the second one but… no dice (pun intended)

[@BlackRainRising]

opening story, not to mention that casting a fly spell while in melee requires a concentration check and if i'm not mistaken an attack of opportunity if he's allowed to fly up in the same turn he cast the spell? yeah, dead caster

[@justmestillme2579]

I would say that I need to witness his rolls, and he keeps whatever he rolls even if their lower than he'd get with standard array.

[@dDbalL-to7rt]

That full length encounter where the pcs were just running across town the whole fight, made me think of that parody movie Kung Pow: Enter the Fist.... when he's on that constant loop of running towards the damsel but keeps getting farther away!!! "'Chosen One!!!"'

[@wolf1066]

The DM is the Only One Playing - I would've straight-up asked the DM if he had finished "playing with himself" in a tone that would have made it clear that I wasn't just talking about D&D.

[@360entertainment2]

There’s a series of movies called the Gamers where that exact thing happens. At one point during The Gamers: Natural One the GM is having his GMPC fight off a horde of guards and is just going crazy with the dice rolls, the new guy at the table asks him “are you having fun playing with yourself” and this broke the GM out of his “trance”! 😂

[@flexiblenerd]

I've played (for free at a comicon) under a dm who sells his services for a living. He's really cool and actually is trying to turn tt rpgs into a tool for therapy, which is just amazing. Like I said, I've never had to pay, but I've only ever seen him at the local comicon. I don't have the money to go hire him or I might try to get some people together from discord or something.

[@masterofskillz14]

scrolling for stuff to listen to at work and discovered your channel, only to see Thorn as part of the set! Howdy fellow D2/DnD nolifer, great content!

[@IzzyPR2010]

I never knew the term "murder hobo" until I started watching these D&D videos

[@cassiopeia_real]

the first story is just someone being extraordinarily salty about losing

[@destroyerinazuma96]

The Drizzt big city story reminded me of a cool AMV of various characters moving at breakneck speed before attacking. If the GM wasn't so self-centered, that what he should've done. Provided means of transportation, cool music that was progressively ramping up, then asked the PCs to describe their dramatic entrances.

[@broke_af_games9661]

Looking at this with the power of hindsight, I think it would have been awesome if the crowd erupted due to the shit sportsmanship of the spotlight hog and booed, and jeered and started throwing produce at him. And if that wasn't enough on round two he would have been unceremoniously dispelled and plummet to the ground. I hate s*** players like that.

[@ZeoHidra]

In regards to that third story; I never understood the appeal of a character achieving something without hardship. Sure I like it when they have to go through the deepest parts of hell and back, but why wouldn't you want to see them come out of the story a different person, (for better or worse) then when they started? If it isn't difficult for our heroes (or villains) then what's the point?

[@sorapwn1200]

On that last story, I feel it. One of my first characters I actually based off of Artemis Entriri(?) From ra Salvatore's book series. All of the history and stories that we had of all of our past campaigns over almost the past decade kind of recently went up in flames (literally) so we all collectively decided to just do it all again. Decided to reprise my role as this assassin rogue and.. well, to put it simply, both me and him have matured quite a lot since then. Never set out to make a perfect character. You'll never get anywhere.

[@l0stndamned]

Last story adding to my long list of reasons to avoid paid DMs.

[@irateastartes1206]

The reluctant cleric sounds like a nerd queen losing her hold.

[@quesamigosproductions9981]

Hey Crispy, I've been a long time fan. It was a real pleasant surprise you hear you doing my story on the into. Thanks for pronouncing "Bluuurg" correctly. (You'd be suprised how few people do). BTW I have my own channel so if you're interested come check it out ;)

[@dasdeke]

Last story, if she was expecting snacks, that comes out of the $10 that we would pay her. Also that was bs the entire way through. What a horrible person.

[@Myow_sotis]

I know someone more or less like the person in the third story, who had a marry sue angel dragon queen and whatever the hell else OC in a my little pony OC, where, you know, angels arent really a thing... But I let it slide, except when her character, who was suuuuch a good and nice person ended up brutally murdering another charater in front of my traumatized teen™ OC and got mad out of character when my character was SCARED. And other stuff like that.

[@TheOvervoid]

That last story is the type of situation where you laxatives in food as payback

[@vivianlee4653]

woooo great video

[@MrWD-tp7oc]

It's back!

[@TigerW0lf]

Been a while since we had a Drizzt Simp, I did not miss it!😒

[@mineflameblade8788]

Who's dritz?

[@TigerW0lf]

@@mineflameblade8788 famous drow ranger whose ruined by his fanboys

[@mineflameblade8788]

@@TigerW0lf Oh. That guy.

[@WyntheRogue]

Damn shame too, the books are great and I love that he got some love in MTG alongside greats like Minsc and Boo. Sucks that he gets such a bad rap through Drizzt Stans. 😕

[@AJSSPACEPLACE]

1:13 Yeah, this is one of those things where a DM is allowed to railroad, and actually fully should. I would’ve told that sorcerer as DM “If you do this, then you’re making a new character. This isn’t a fight, it’s a narrative device. Your character can either win their own fight, or they can lose to the character im bringing back. There are no other options” Sometimes player agency is 100% irrelevant, and this is one of those times.

[@briansmaller7443]

"His turn in combat takes five times longer.." OK - this is how I handle that. I give people ten seconds to make their mind up what they are doing - it is combat. Fast, Furious and Dangerous. If they cannot say what they are doing I just say they are "Defending". I do this in every system I GM,. It works. People give combat the urgency it requires to stop it being a bore fest.

[@Jeebus7734]

honestly, DMs who restrict race/class combinations to like the phb annoy the hell out of me, even worse people who only do standard array. Like i will honestly just drop a campaign if the dm even suggests that.

[@mr.ashenfire2624]

That first story had me fucked up. DM should have put their foot down.

[@maxg1891]

To me, it seemed like the woman in the final story was experiencing some mental health issues. She appeared to get overly aggressive over minor things and was also very impulsive. She could just be greedy money hungry, but the amount of aggression and lack of empathy she showed came off as extremely concerning to me. Especially when she spat in someone's face over them leaving a DnD game.

[@pyr0cyb3r]

I mean add more monsters and make the Not Drizzt die by the time the players get there. Then the players have to fend off the remaining horde.

[@calibcarmichael6356]

The only time I would be okay with getting mad at missing attacks is if you constantly roll low and at that point you are mad at dice not the game

[@jblask2]

"killed a red dragon at level one" Den of the Drake would like to know your location

[@elbruces]

If standard array "kills your excitement for the character," then that means you KNEW in advance that you were going to roll better than the standard array. Which confirms you're cheating.

[@tylerdurham6091]

No, it doesn't. I personally hate standard array, I find it uninteresting and it does reduce my interest in a game. I value the randomness of rolling, that yoyncan get both higher and lower stats. It makes the character feel more personalized.

[@VernulaUtUmbra]

@@tylerdurham6091 I dunno man, if you wanted the character to feel as personalized as it can, I feel like you'd be arguing for Point Buy as opposed to Random Rolls.

[@tylerdurham6091]

@@VernulaUtUmbra That's too predictable. I like the randomness, not knowing exactly what stats I'm gonna have. Rolling lets me customize and not feel like I'm playing a cut out, but also gives me that random element.

[@ketrava0425]

I have yet to meet the person for 5E who pushes for roll stats that is expecting to use Is 4d6 reroll ones drop lowest is any order. You have to try really really hard for that to be an interior to point By or standard array. This tends to come from the 3.5 mindset of I need an 18 or im useless

[@celicynd]

should have told the "can I roll" guy "Sure, straight 3D6 down the stat list, no reordering, and you have to roll in front of me." :p

[@nighteyeswolf]

speaking of extorting (but not a horror story), we just started a Rime of the Frostmaiden campaign and one of the girls in our group who historically has always had VERY flavorful characters, rolled up a life domain cleric...who was a health insurance rep for Asmodeus. On top of that, she voiced the character in a heavy midwestern (don'cha know) accent and even wrote up a detailed 3 tier plan that we all needed to pick from (lowest plan covered 1 heal per long rest but only if the damage was from 3 certain physical damage types, middle was 2 heals and covered some elemental damage types, third tier was unlimited heals and covered the full spectrum of physical and elemental damage) with 'monthy' rates that could/would change at any time, and also had an optional combat upcharge we could tack on if we wanted to request misc help midcombat from her. The form finished with "like a good neighbor, asmodeus is there ;)" We all lost our collective sh** when she handed out copies of the plans and our DM applauded her. Thankfully I'm a druid who will gladly help heal for the low low price of belly rubs when wild shaped into a dire wolf. Of course this immediately created conflict between our two characters and my 'socialist' ways. our DM fully supports this, but is also totally fine if we as a party decide to kill off the cleric lol. hell even the player wouldn't blame us if we did as she has plenty of more wacky characters waiting in the wings, this is Rime of the Frostmaiden so we are expecting some deaths. I love my group!

[@alarkhar]

Heh. Had a player like the one in the second story. He was... lucky. Got lots of high stats when rolling, hit a lot. He was also the most brazen minmaxer I've ever met - his characters made no sense, they were literally just jumbles of stats to get the most broken build in the system. He also tried to justify how his character, despite acting like the most rotten, selfish bastard around, was neutral at worst (you should have heard his tirade on how creating undead is NOT evil because, basically, "the end justifies the means") What does that have to do with the dude in the second story? Well, a year or so after the group disbanded due to internal attrition I met his brother (another player) and said brother informed me, as a matter of fact, that "Lucky"'s dice were ALL loaded. Yes, all of them. And the few that weren't were filed down so that nobody could read the numbers clearly. Nice guy, ne? And you should have seen when he actually tried to GM... Basically, he played to win. He had to be the one on top, and if he was the GM our characters had to lose, or die, or both.

[@sunzi42]

This was a lot of twisted people...

[@sentinelmoonfang]

Pretty generally players roll higher than standard array. Usually owing partially to house rules that most groups use for rolling stats. Something like having two 'swap in' numbers, rerolling minimum rolls or rolling two characters and picking the better, using 2d6+6 instead of 3d6 drop the lowest. I don't think wanting to roll is an indicator of cheating, just of wanting better stats.

[@thunderstruck206]

How to *correctly* cheat your prepared spells I just take note of the spells inside my level I want to use then after a long rest I mark the ones I use (never exceed your slots) then I can only use those until it's the next day then I mark em as I use em (note do not use this method in games where the dm requires you have to *actually know* the spells to use them)

[@zmivh3377]

4th story is very entertaining ngl, at least to those who are not involved

[@candidgamera]

Holy crap. MLM and D&D. That's.. novel.

[@iamaunicorn1232]

My characters are definitely NOT my old fandom OC's built using whatever system and tweaked to fit the world... Ok they are but the key is that I changed them to fit, recognize I am not "the star", and can differentiate between myself and my character.

[@FlameUser64]

I respect wanting to play a catgirl but literally the entire rest of that story is dumb. Cooperate with the party and the DM's setting; after all, you already got your catgirl (aaaand it's usually way more fun to add lore that actually meshes with the DM's world, especially when weaving in something that seems outlandish). Also, if you're so upset at the sorcerer throwing fireballs so well but still want to shoot things with a bow, you should probably switch to a Pact of the Blade warlock. (What kind of wannabe main character plays a non-Cha class anyway?)

[@chaoticbloodmage]

I watched a few of these then messaged the dms I play with to let them know I appreciate them for being good dms. I got lucky with them

[@donwilliams3464]

I'm an old school player and DM. Running a campaign is fun for me, that being said; I would never charge for running the game. D&D is supposed to be a chance for friends to come together and enjoy each other's company... Not a charge to play resort. I only ask my players to bring their own snacks and drinks; if they want to bring extra... That's okay. Gygax never intended it to be a "play to pay" game. It makes me angry to know that this "internet" world has corrupted our society. No wonder people don't get along anymore. That being said; I have written an ongoing campaign that is broken down into 6 parts. I will be selling the module for others to enjoy. But I will never resort to making players pay for sessions.

[@TheSkepticalPanda]

“Let me 1v1 it bro!!”

[@Redtail45044]

Bit late to the party...but yeah. That last one is a doozy. I don't ask my party for money, and I leave it up to them if they want art for a character (as I do not have much money and cannot draw for the life of me due to a bit of palsy.), they can surprise the entire group with it. I don't expect anything of the sort though, and we have fun-they do tend to ask me for more details about characters they like, though. Heck. They're the ones that try and make me feel bad when something terrible happens that they failed to stop due to bad dice and poor decisions! I don't mind, they seem to get insanely attached to any characters I make that aren't villains so far. So...never know. I just know I won't be asking for any further payment than their-and my-enjoyment, and it helps that they want a semi-relaxed campaign that has a few horror elements. Like...exploring an (seemingly) abandoned fleet of ships for example, where very concerning things happened as they're learning, from rogue automatons tasked with cleansing the ships of their former loyal crews, conniving traitors, and a mage that specializes in portal magic to the point he uses it as a special move to call forth things from other planes. Nothing major, at least, save for a monster of his own creation that they have yet to get him to reveal...and may have developed a love/hate relationship with the guy, as while he's bad, he's...actually not out to get them. Not yet, anyway, despite the archer sniping him in the rear twice for attempting to knock out the druid (they thought he was trying to kill the druid, which didn't help when he summoned a trio of a homebrew creature called a 'Glinter' due to the crystalline material lining its body and the things promptly tore into the tank despite being a quick dispatch.) and leave with a cursed object the mage wanted to study. Good times, so far, good times.

[@Chaosqueenngami]

Give me money!. No, seriously give me money.

[@bradwolf07]

My group, for the most part, rolls stats. BUT we do it IN FRONT of the rest of the group. Keeps it honest.

[@icecreamnoodles3742]

Brizzt BoUrden. Smizzt. Lmao, chefkiss*

[@adamka-1]

Imagine not having a crossbow or some shit

[@impofstpete727]

I just want to know one thing: "Where did you get that awesome gun in the background Crispy?"

[@manicdogma2240]

[listens to the intro] And people wonder why I have issues with how D&D-alikes treat martial characters relative to casters. Give me any game that lets martials be cool over that kind of helplessness any day.

[@ursulajoni15]

the first story is another case of a DM incapable of saying the word no. No you cannot fight this character for a place in the tournament this Arc was meant for him, no you can't just fly up and spam Fireball that's not fair no you can't continue playing in this game if you're going to always hog the spotlight if you don't let him have his ark there will be consequences

[@wickedgaming9632]

If he almost died in 1 round, why didnt he toss his weapons or yeah like a rock or anything lol

[@kingflumph5968]

That DM in the intro story fucked up. If I'm that DM, I wouldn't care if the pick me guy hounded another player into agreeing. "Yeah that's gonna be a no from me, dog. Take a fuckin hike." Can't believe he allowed that to happen after specifically writing this thread for another character.

[@Michael-fd1gx]

Not a True Friend story, they should have said no.

[@michaelvasquez9620]

Ahhhhh I love thorn

[@quicksilvertongue3248]

Well the title's a *little* clickbait, but ultimately I was satisfied. I thought it was going to be about a lawyer-DM forcing her players to sign a contract at the start of the campaign, but let's face it, we've all had enough experience with devils and genies that we're not going to fall for any "didn't read the fine print" crap at the table. (We probably still get lazy in IRL situations where we don't think to be on guard against things like EULAs or workplace agreements, but that's just because we're not at liberty to spend all our lives as fully engaged with everything we do as we are with our D&D games.)

[@ivorydungeons3064]

Not that anything the first "that guy" did was okay but honestly... Standard array kills my excitement to play too. I've declined several invitations to play a game because they were standard array. It just feels so boring and cookie cutter. I don't feel like I am making an actual person, just a cardboard cutout no matter how cool their personality, backstory or the world they live in is. If I want to be completely mediocre at literally everything, let me. If I want to absolutely suck at all but two things, let me. I love rolling for stats, even if those stats suck because it allows for good rp and story stuff. I get why standard array exists, I really do, but it just sucks all the joy out of playing an actual living, breathing character into a fill in the blank with predetermined stuff.

[@Drachnyen07]

Hey crispy, wanna hear a story, short one. I was putting together a group to play with over discord, some people left and I found new ones, one of which is named “Patrick” not real name, but he had a Patrick Bateman pic so… he basically got into a fight with another about piracy, another earlier player, named yoda (same connection, accused him of pirating books. I was away and didn’t see it play out, both were very pissed and I didn’t know what to do, Patrick left and proceeded to call us out to the dnd discord, but he said he used the DnD Wiki, not sure if this was true. Did I do the right thing?

[@zmivh3377]

About the second story, it might be cheating or it might just be that what the powergamer refers to "rolling" is just 1 type of rolling that is relatively forgiving. Like, rerolling if the sum of all stats is less than 70 for example, or roll 2 sets & choose which one you use, or replacing lowest rolled score with 18. I doubt he would agree if it's "roll 6x 3d6 once, in order"

[@quicksilvertongue3248]

I now very badly want to see a Frizzt Fro'Urden with a huge white afro.

[@lawrencelopez9839]

OP admitted that Bluurg almost killed the sorcerer in the first turn. What, was the sorcerer supposed to just attack and faint on Bluurg's second attack like a pokemon?