Greg Davies Gives Out NO POINTS | Taskmaster | Channel 4

You get no points, you get no points, everybody gets no points! The #Taskmaster is feeling harsher than usual and awards all of the comedians zero points. Their faces say it all!
Featuring Alice Levine, Russell Howard, Alan Davies, Victoria Coren Mitchell, Iain Stirling and more.
The comedy game show Taskmaster, where contestants are challenged by Greg Davies to complete a series of weird and wonderful tasks! Be glad you're not a comedian (or little Alex Horne) facing his wrath. Watch more compilations from the series here: • Taskmaster | Channel 4
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[@mannmctrash]

Can't believe Asim literally said hentai on stage. Those 4 or 5 people who laughed really outed themselves.

[@wich1]

So did you

[@iantophernicus6042]

Can't believe he said he didn't like Japanese stories, while forgetting where hentai comes from..

[@red-o7]

@@wich1 well he is "TrashMcMann", he didn't lose much.

[@mannmctrash]

@@red-o7 True, but I didn't say it on TV did I?

[@Dangimal]

It's 2022, literally everyone knows what it means

[@Eiroth]

11:37 "What a magnificently futile use of our mortal lifespan", I need to say this more often

[@chayimweinstock443]

Victoria and David are quotable to the point that it’s absurd.

[@QuadfishTym]

It's so incredibly close to David's "We are wiling away our finite time before the grave" from Would I Lie To You.

[@sfshinz]

If Tim Vine had worked the word “vegetables” into “in a German accent, can you tell me the best way to mount a trampoline”, it would have made my year.

[@mikepictor]

you must have VEGETABLES!!!

[@Cory_Springer]

Same! But shouldn't that word be in an Austrian accent?

[@Flaggy_88]

I thought the same thing!

[@maciejr1447]

Are we sure Russel wasn't just doing Greg's impression of Chris Eubank?

[@aussietin123]

this is EXACTLY what I was thinking!

[@richbuilds_com]

Indubitably he wath...

[@tensemurm5924]

Fuck I knew it sounded familiar

[@cyberkitcat]

XD lol

[@richard4058]

What about when he awards 3 points to everyone essentially meaning the scoreboard remains unchanged and basically worth nothing. While making them feel better

[@TyroRNG]

But why make them feel better?

[@richard4058]

@@TyroRNG torture.

[@TyroRNG]

It's funnier for the audience that they put in all that effort only to get nothing, same points would be just as pointless but less funny

[@artstsym]

Paul sitting down after Alex pointed it out legit made me snort into my coffee.

[@missbeaussie]

"What a magnificent and futile use of our lifetime". What a quote.

[@JackDManheim]

“BUMS ON SEATS!” is now my new favorite exclamation

[@tycarne7850]

It's a common English expression, most commonly used by teachers to classes of teenagers.

[@iseriver3982]

When they all sit on the floor 🤣

[@davidsorensen2116]

Missed the disqualification for everyone on filling the cup, only water can touch the red green.

[@railguy2518]

The task didn't say -5 points every time a member touches a ball, it said -5 points IF a team member touches a ball. Thus I would have argued for only -5 instead of -30. Of course, that still puts the total at -3

[@MJK808]

What we learned is that Victoria thinks the appeal of fishing is the sensation of putting something into a net.

[@artstsym]

When as we all know the appeal is the sensation of feeling a tug on a rope, albeit slightly offset by a stick.

[@christopherthompson5400]

@@artstsym I thought it was getting to crank the reel?

[@sfshinz]

Probably while eating "snacks".

[@LapFox]

3:40 "and.... Hentai.." I mean, technically it is part of a Japanese story, but christ alive I wouldn't go on stage and even admit I knew what Hentai was!

[@joebleasdale5557]

Lou Sanders took to Taskmaster with all the decorum of a spoilt kid at their own birthday party

[@sfshinz]

Winning formula.

[@DanielSCobb2]

Sean Lock would have been great at the grape game

[@willbaker6532]

Greg realised after Alice's first answer that people couldn't properly say the letter S if it was in their mouth.because the tongue wouldn't be able to perform the correct movement unless the grape was blatantly in the cheek

[@mattmyers9351]

What's Alice's last name?

[@youngdolo8]

@@mattmyers9351 Levine

[@mattmyers9351]

@@youngdolo8 cool! Thanks!

[@boozebeard9501]

So? If I were pretending it was in my mouth I'd be impeding my tongue some way anyhow, such as putting my tongue in my cheek.

[@willbaker6532]

@@boozebeard9501 because the S wouldn't sound right. Try making an S noise while biting your tongue. Russell was still pronouncing the S correctly even with his weird mouth movement because the grape wasn't in his mouth which is probably why Greg went with it being in his hand.

[@icturner23]

-1 is higher than -128, but both are valid scores rather than disqualifications, so the first team ought to have got five, or at least something.

[@RoboSparkle]

But the task was to get balls in the net, and both teams got a negative number of balls in the net after the penalties, so neither team completed the task. Or, completed it to the satisfaction of the taskmaster, anyway.

[@icturner23]

@@RoboSparkle But disqualifications are for cheating, not for complete failure. In most tasks, even if someone has no success they get at least one point.

[@ericzubyk2329]

7:20-Let’s get this 10 fest started now!

[@bladechild2449]

Never made any sense for them to give no points for the grape task

[@zyaicob]

The balls task is legendary

[@notme222]

Tim fooled him once and gets the same (zero) points as the people who didn't fool Greg at all? That doesn't seem fair.

[@handlesarefeckinstupid]

Welcome to Taskmaster.

[@icturner23]

@@handlesarefeckinstupid That case was bad even for Greg's incompetent scoring.

[@caterinadc5567]

@@icturner23 To be fair, I don't think Greg would have given Tim zero. Giving everyone zero was Alex's announcement, and even Greg looked surprised.

[@iliketrains3495]

Yeah, even before the squirty cream task it was obvious Liza was being favoured. Even if Russell was essentially disqualified, Tim should have at least got something for advancing from the first round

[@goodman2873]

Greg kept saying "Hands" after the first one

[@icturner23]

Why were there no points in the first one? Russell and Tim both got through the first round so they should have been joint winners.

[@DrWhoFanJ]

The task clearly said that “The last person standing will get five points”, so there are no points for ties, and no-one succeeded in being the only one to pass a round.

[@icturner23]

@@DrWhoFanJ ‘Then the two who got through some round should have continued till one did and one didn’t. In the Olympic high jump , if two get the same height and then both fail, they don’t just say “No gold medal for anyone then!” They go again (with certain limitations of course). And if they can’t be separated, they both get gold, not neither.

[@stipuledorange4]

@@icturner23 The difference is that the Olympics is the most elite athletic competition in the world, and Taskmaster is a comedy show. I think it's acceptable for the rules to be enforced slightly differently.

[@QIKUGAMES-QIKU]

10:05 all I can Hear and Imagine is Her and David Mitchell doing it 😂🤣 I gotta get out of the house 🤭

[@periquinn]

Welp. Lmao are you proud of yourself

[@MrLarry]

My favourite Japanese short story is Urashima and the turtle

[@fredsmith-kingofthelunatic7810]

My favourite Japanese story is the night I got absolutely hammered and ended up making friends with some Yakuza blokes. Fun time.

[@tycarne7850]

@@fredsmith-kingofthelunatic7810 My favourite Japanese story is the time I got deported from the country and banned from ever going back. Also featuring some Yakuza blokes, interestingly. Good times.

[@fredsmith-kingofthelunatic7810]

@@tycarne7850 oh, nice one. Now that is a story I'd like to hear.

[@tycarne7850]

@@fredsmith-kingofthelunatic7810 It's not actually that interesting; certain parties were importing (legitimate) items under the wrong customs codes to avoid paying duties. In genuinely massive quantities - I'm talking literal tons of goods. I, of course, had no idea it was going on and was simply caught up in events, an innocent party simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, a victim of circumstance and bad luck, as my legal representative said.

[@keepyoureyespeeled]

Russell’s second attempt reminded me of when the old Spanish woman tried restoring that painting of Jesus

[@OverWims]

12:52 always makes me laugh

[@neabby]

Lmao Lou doing the duck task 😂😂😂

[@GNVS300]

12:50 Pretty accurate impression of Joe in the Inbetweeners tbh

[@brydon5721]

Lou Sanders' toddler temper tantrums were hilarious!

[@sfshinz]

"FUCK OFF! Honestly, I can't actually believe this!" "..." "You've written 'Phil'!" One of my all-time favorite Taskmaster moments.

[@felix_christopher]

„This is all the joy and none of the trauma”

[@Saka_Mulia]

I'm glad I never have to play these games. It's all the joy and none of the trauma.

[@johndenverfan]

Alex & Greg Are Brilliant

[@rajabuta]

I forgot. GDI Russel oh and. BALLS!

[@marvisharvis4884]

Hello 👋

[@marvisharvis4884]

How are you doing today.??

[@anumeon]

The episode where two out of five sounded like a South African doing Greg Davies's Chris Eubanks impersonation.. :D

[@MedievalFolkDance]

David Mitchell is one lucky S.O.B

[@jackgold8321]

So stressful the grape one.

[@loraoflahrity130]

I simply love Beastie

[@marvisharvis4884]

Hello 👋

[@marvisharvis4884]

How are you doing today.??

[@asdfghklllama]

what about half of series 10 tasks? hahhahahha

[@Unleashed75]

The ball task, just moving the box of balls behind the Task Reader would of gotten them Zero points and then doing what Morgana done, would of been a plus 1 point for each ball. "Any balls Between the middle person and the Task Reader" Behind the Task Reader doesn't ;)

[@MrBizteck]

Good one!

[@red-o7]

It's "would've" my dood.

[@sstills951]

@@red-o7 It's "dude" my brotha.

[@riley6646]

@@sstills951 It's "brother" m8

[@1984ukadam]

@@riley6646 It's "mate" fella.

[@youknow227]

Thumbnail 😏

[@the1exnay]

Did he guess, every single time, that it was in their hand?

[@Zahaqiel]

I'm going to throw it out there, but the rules didn't spell out whose duck was whose it merely implied it, and by right of conquest whichever duck was claimed was that contestant's duck. So...

[@strathconan73]

True, but the contestants claimed ownership of a particular duck by attempting to catch it. If you attempt to get one duck, it is difficult to claim that another duck was in fact yours.

[@Zahaqiel]

@@strathconan73 That's no way to become the Great Khan of Games.

[@Smasher0404]

@@strathconan73 there are no rules that state contestants can only own one duck

[@strathconan73]

@@Smasher0404 Have to agree with that one

[@MamaMeansFatherInGeorgian]

05:08 ✨✨✨

[@glenaitken9403]

Oooh, you swines! Making me think I'm going to watch the wonderful Victoria Coren Mitchell!

[@hannahl8]

If you watch more than 5 minutes of the video you'll see her lol

[@joshacollins84]

BOSH!

[@SenorKristobbalVLog]

Tim and Russell should have split the points...

[@krise99391]

i would have taken it in my hand, badly pretended to to chew it, then answer semi-decently. So he might have thought it was in my mouth, but ruined

[@happivaras]

Nill pwa😊😅😂

[@TheGandorX]

Even on eurovision songcontest nobody gets zero points

[@Oboecoffee]

*anymore

[@MrBizteck]

The UK in 2021 would beg to differ....

[@sam1555]

The first 2 people ate the grape, and then Russell only said 3 words for second answer... all broken rules

[@TPH250290]

They ate the grape after they'd already done (and lost) the task though?

[@PhillRobinson]

Alice is such a beautiful young lady.

[@antorseax9492]

She won't have sex with you

[@HerHollyness]

Greg completely misunderstanding the balls in the net task annoys me. He even goes on a little rant about applying the rules correctly, and then doesn’t because he’s completely failed to understand what they were doing. They didn’t break a rule, both teams scored, they were just negative numbers. Some marks should have been given there.

[@claiminglight]

I probably agree with you, but then again, if they had just refused to do the task they would have had a score of 0. And what they actually got was worse than if they hadn't done anything at all. Most all tasks where the baseline requirement is unmet are disqualifying... so I dunno, I think there's a case for it.

[@koncentra5767]

why should he reward them for doing worse than if they did literally nothing? lmao

[@Ithtorukk]

@@koncentra5767 Well, the team with a -1 did better than doing 'literally nothing' as a 'do nothing' score would have been -100 for all the balls being left in the bin, since the bin was between the ball tosser and the middle.

[@MikeDCWeld]

@@Ithtorukk they weren't a ball tosser. They were the Task reader. The Task was quite clear about that.

[@MrBrownnn696]

Lmfao

[@Dreadnaught1985]

Maybe have someone with more forethought do the titles of the clips. You didn't need to give away the ending.

[@footballoldboy4818]

Why no points? Russell and Tim were joint first??

[@newageoutlaw]

That one was a winner-take-all studio task. Only one winner could win five points and you had to end on a win to get the points.

[@Sgtd-hk2sz]

Why wouldn’t you have 6 participants when you know you’re going to be dividing them into teams? Seems nothing is lost and everything is gained…

[@MistaRat]

So cut up plastic balls for no good reason on this show ,then then go on about climate change and the environment on others. Ok cool. Got it. Great work BBC.

[@michaelc9838]

This isn't the BBC

[@MistaRat]

@@michaelc9838 Fair play. You are correct.

@@MistaRat And you must be fun at parties.

[@MistaRat]

@ I don't have time for parties Jurgen. The world is on fire in case you haven't noticed...also too many wasted balloons at parties, further fueling the climate crisis inferno. Greta and ich have a world to enslave. I mean save....

[@yonayehezkel3150]

World War III Has Begun; How It Unfolds Depends on Us We think of the Russia-Ukraine war as a local conflict, but it is much more than that; it is a global war on multiple fronts. The war is not only a military conflict; it is also an economic war of attrition. With skyrocketing gas prices and shortage of staples, people all over the world are feeling the consequences of the war. This war is transforming the entire modus operandi of humanity. Since the dawn of time, we have been accustomed to living by the motto, “survival of the fittest.” By and large, the rule was that the strong determined the rules, and the rules were often abusive toward the weak. Now, it seems like a new mindset has set in: Wanting something and being strong enough to take it does not mean that the world will accept it. The war, therefore, is being fought on the inside no less, and perhaps more than on the outside. Our very makeup is changing from abusive to cooperative, from narcissistic to altruistic. It hurts, and it will not happen without a struggle, but it is irreversible. This is the path of our evolution toward the purpose of our creation-to encompass within us all of creation. To do that, we must come to care for it, just as a mother encompasses her child through her maternal love. The struggle to transition from our current uncaring and mean approach to all creations but ourselves, into wise and compassionate beings is called “the war of Gog and Magog” or Armageddon. Since the war is about our inner makeup, we can fight it within us. If we object to struggling with ourselves over who will rule-the ego or love-the physical reality will force us to choose love nonetheless. However, it will do so by hurting us in a very physical way. The war in Eastern Europe is nothing compared to what we might have to endure if we resist the process. The horrific descriptions of our sages and prophets hint at it, and we would not want to live through it. Alternatively, we can fight this war within us without firing a single bullet. The choice is in our hands. All we need is to continue in the same direction that nature is already leading us: toward connection. If we make an effort to care for one another, even though initially we don’t, then we are moving in the right direction. If we try to resolve conflicts not with guns or even legal battles, but by strengthening the care and friendship between us, then we are saving lives and sparing torments from countless people. In conclusion, let us try to rise above the hatred and see the human on the other side, who suffers too. Let us think that this war was given to us so we would think about each other more than we have so far. After all, were it not for this war, we would not notice one another. Now that it is here, we are no longer indifferent. Although our feelings our currently negative, now that we are aware of them, we can work on them together and turn them around. These are the wars of the Messiah who moshech [Hebrew: pulls] us out of the ego, and into mutual love .

[@mistermagicmusic]

What does any of that have to do with this video? This is supposed to be mood lifting, not something to be worried about. Delete this comment and leave now.

[@tycarne7850]

WW3 hasn't begun. NATO would - and actually already are, in economic terms (and economic warfare is nothing new)- wipe the floor with Russia in any sort of war, including nuclear - having seen the appalling performance of Russian technology, it seems unlikely that they actually have many working nuclear weapons.