Grief Hoarding to Shoebox Memories - The Art of Minimalizing the Important Stuff

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Take a look at this playlist of similar videos we made on hoarding - Hoarders. More fab info. kzbin.info/aero/PLh1fKdNH3piRf92YFtLwvJdbtWFkeReoC

[@Senseshouldbesocommon]

After both my parents died in 2012 (80 & 82), I understood why Egyptians packed the pyramids with the dead Pharaoh and all his stuff, then permanently sealed it.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

There was a lot of honoring the dead and lives they lived when they mummified the remains. Thanks for the reminder. :-)

[@debiethredge3020]

😅

[@kurtcurtis2730]

My aunt moved into assisted living. She had a box for each child she filled up. She asked friends & neighbors if they wanted things and gave away. She then found a refugee assistance program and gave the rest of her things for a new family to use. Mom died recently and we had a large house full of stuff. It was hard to part with things until I realized how much my mom would love knowing a new mother would rock their baby in the rocking chair I was rocked in as a little. Knowing other people would enjoy and use those things in a way I will not made the process a surprisingly fun way to pass the things on.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

That’s a great and healthy way of looking at that situation. Thanks so much for sharing your story and I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. 🙏

[@heidihaeni7783]

My sister and I are about your age, and we were sent next door to Mrs. Manchester for crocheted lessons.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

YES! We are twins you and I. Learning to crochet in our youth. What a wonderful experience for you and your sister. Thanks for telling me about this, you made my day. 👏👏👏

[@pattyw7952]

Angela ~ Thank you for this video. I lost my Mom and then my in-laws (in-laws were one week apart) in the span of 8 months. I had to clean out 50 YEARS of their stuff and memories from TWO houses. It was emotionally draining and I'm currently living with a lot of their "stuff". My garage, basement and one storage unit is filled. I'm sentimental and that's my problem. Then the pandemic hit and no one was taking donations. It's been six years and I know I need to "let go" but it's so hard. I need to just get to it. 🙁😢

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Wow that must've been really tough to go thru. But ad hard as it is, after 6 years it's time to start to go thru things and start purging. You can do it, I'm rooting for you!

[@runawayneedlered7518]

Thank you! This was extremely helpful. I lost my mom in 2016 & my husband passed last November. So decluttering is a slow process for me because it feels like i am betraying people I loved and their memories. I am slowly getting better at it but its hard and can be overwhelming. Thanks.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom and your husband. This is heartbreaking. I'm sending you a big virtual hug and saying a prayer of peace. 🤗🙏💖

[@kurtcurtis2730]

Runaway - sorry for your loss. My aunt moved into assisted living. She had a box for each child she filled up. She asked friends & neighbors if they wanted things and gave away. She then found a refugee assistance program and gave the rest of her things for a new family to use. Mom died recently and we had a large house full of stuff. It was hard to part with things until I realized how much my mom would love knowing a new mother would rock their baby in the rocking chair I was rocked in as a little. Knowing other people would enjoy and use those things in a way I will not made the process a surprisingly fun way to pass the things on.

[@le7516]

Thank you for sharing. I'm holding on to so many things from all my relatives that have passed. You have a great idea. Maybe I can try this. It's so very hard.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

It is hard because I'm guessing you had some amazing relatives with beautiful things. The memory movies help because you get to honor them in way that deserves your time and attention. :-)

[@judysbakeryandtestkitchen1654]

Great story. She taught you to be meticulous, which is important in your work now.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

LOL. She taught me so many skills I use to this day, from keeping your word, to showing up on time, to keeping appointments you've made, being meticulous, being kind to the elderly. Oh my goodness, I had no idea what Mom set me up for. Lots of goodness in those two women. ;-)

[@sdeaglefeather]

Oh my…tatting! My grandma used to do it. I kept several pillow cases she made. Then I cut the tatting off, intending to put the pieces onto another set of pillow cases. I don’t know what happened to the pieces but thank y for sharing your memory and jogging my memory. My kids don’t hold onto memories but a son-in-law does, to almost to the point of hoarding. I would love to share this with him but my daughter has tried for 7 yrs to let stuff go, but he won’t. 😕

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Thanks so much for sharing your tatting memories with us Susan. I appreciate you : )

[@msobliv]

Angela, you are amazing! I have put off decluttering my parent's things for over 20 years. I am just deciding that their memories and memorabilia are not necessarily things I need to keep. It's harder with my mother's keepsakes, as we were very close, but I'm coming to realize that they were her memories, not mine. This video put a lot of issues into perspective without dishonoring our feelings toward our loved ones things. , but I'm learning that these things that I'm

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Thank you so much for your kind words and sharing your personal experience. I'm glad to hear that the video resonated with you and provided perspective on decluttering your parent's belongings. It can be a challenging process, especially when it comes to keepsakes and memories of loved ones. Remember that it's okay to let go of certain items and honor the memories in your own way. Your journey of realizing that those items were your mother's memories, not necessarily yours, is a significant step towards finding your own sense of peace and clarity. If you ever need further guidance or support, feel free to reach out. Wishing you all the best on your decluttering journey!

[@brandiwine84]

As a fiber artist, I love your story. It will stick with me. Thank you!

[@AskAngelaBrown]

You are so welcome! Thanks for watching!

[@wiseowlgal]

This was an unexpectedly wonderful video. Thank you for sharing.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

You're welcome! And thank you for watching the video. 🙂

[@richarddixon7855]

You brought a different perspective to this difficult, draining dilemma. Putting it into practice may assist me in letting go of more items. I can relate to your story. Several older "ladies" sat patiently with me, around the same age you were - teaching craft techniques to a boy. It wasn't the thing to do, but I showed interest in their unique skills. It paid off. I was a public school Art teacher to about 10,000 students over 36 years. Plus, working with those older generations reinforced in me the need to respect our elders and pass down whatever we can in our own time. Thanks for the positive video!

[@AskAngelaBrown]

I love this story!! Thank you so much for sharing...absolutely beautiful and inspiring.

[@bluesash10]

The idea of telling someone the story of the item is genius! Thank you!

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Thanks for saying so. I appreciate your feedback, and appreciate you being here. 👍

[@bluesash10]

@@AskAngelaBrown The fact that you answered my comment so fast tells me you are the real deal! Thank you! I can't wait to learn more from you! I've been drowning in paperwork for over 10 years, it's a nightmare. I'm looking forward to overcoming this problem. I've tried everything. May the Lord bless you.

[@carolnarramore4448]

This came at a perfect time. Last summer we moved my mother into assisted living, sold her house and had six weeks to do something with all of her things. We donated a lot of it but I have a room in our house that still has a few items. I just started going through her loose pictures and I love your shoe box analogy. I winnowed down four shoe boxes full of photos to one shoe box. I called it my first go through. I will remember your advice as I continue to process things. I love your channel BTW.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

It makes me happy to know that the video was helpful. Thank you so much for sharing your story and for watching the video. Sending hugs. 🤗

[@rnupnorthbrrrsm6123]

Awesome story, I love hearing about people’s lives and what influenced them !

[@AskAngelaBrown]

I’m so glad you liked the video. 😊

[@ritasmith9553]

awwww.... A TATTING SHUTTLE?!?!? AW! That is a priceless story! I have tatting that my mother saved from this precious lady friend next door to them when she and my dad were in college (and as college kids, had NOTHING! of course) She saved them, I used them, worn them, and have stored them, and cannot possibly give them away. They are heirlooms! And yes, they will fit in a shoebox!

[@AskAngelaBrown]

This is great! Thank you for sharing your story and thanks for watching. 🙂

[@ritasmith9553]

@@AskAngelaBrown Hi Angela! I am enjoying your stories.

[@standard888]

We have only 1 of our 4 parents left, and she's moving in with us (Alz). So yeah, we're holding on to too much. I've added these to my queue, tho not sure I can watch them yet. Angela, I really appreciate the breadth and depth of info you provide, as well as the way you deliver it.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to write this comment, I appreciate it! You got this! Sending hugs. 🤗

[@lindafarella220]

What a wonderful story. It's so sad that the elderly people in our society aren't valued for their wisdom to pass on to younger generations. How lucky you were to have her in your life. I too have much too many of family belongings stored in my home. This video has given me some confidence to start the big declutter. Thank you so much!

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to write this comment. I hope your big declutter is going well.

[@lkw5699]

I feel guilty getting rid of anything that my mother or father gave me. It is a horrible feeling of guilt and shame.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

You are not alone, many go thru this feeling. Try the tips and suggestions, hope they help.

[@l.baughman1445]

Thank you for sharing your story to help the rest of us. Perfect. 😷👍

[@AskAngelaBrown]

My pleasure! Thanks for watching and dropping me a line. :-)

[@k.w.1459]

My dear father now deceased had many trophies. My mother kept them all but in her efforts to move, she felt she had to keep these but couldn’t keep them herself so naturally she asked her children if we wanted some. My other two siblings each took a couple but I asked her to just take the engraved metal piece off the front that had his name, year and award won and put those in my memory box (one I crafted out of a glass block).

[@AskAngelaBrown]

I love the way you think. Nice job!

[@paisleyduck]

I really love the story with the tatting shuttle. Great idea with the video camera. I am going to do this. :)

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Give it a try! Thanks for watching!

[@jessicasmith973]

THanks for the video! I inherited not only my parents stuff and grandparents stuff. Now I can start letting stuff go.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

I know right? That is how it works, every generation inherits the stuff from the generation before and five generations down the road we have a bunch of hoarders trying to do right by their families. Keep me posted, I'm here rooting for you. :-)

[@jessicasmith973]

Angela Brown ok sure will

[@anneeinhorn9227]

These ideas are so helpful if one must get rid of alot in a hurry. Just wanted to point out there is another option than reducing everything to a shoebox memory box.. When you are ready, consider decluttering the other things in your house. Then you may find you have the space and can use some of those inherited pieces. Enough time will allow you to separate emotionally and figure out which inherited things you love and want to use in your own life. Repurposing items is another way to incorporate inherited items. For example, my sisters are using our grandmothers' table linens as dish towels and making dresses from the extra damask linen tablecloths. My great-grandfather's shaving stands now hold fabric in a sewing room or serve as landing zones right inside the front door. And family drop-leaf tables work beautifully in my cousins' playroom and in my husband's home office.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Love these ideas! Thank you so much for sharing!

[@Minnie11chula]

Wonderful story and great suggestion. I was also thinking recently of documenting things that have special meaning to me and/or I consider “family heirloom”. My nieces and nephews never got to meet my parents who died relatively young. I have no children and do not know if any or which of my nieces and nephews would value my Mom’s Irish china for example or my Mom’s wedding band.

[@helpfulnhappy]

Minnie.... I'm in a similar situation. I've been thinking of making an album/scrapbook with the pictures and stories for them.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

I love your ideas. Keep me posted and let me know how it goes. I'm here rooting for you. And your parents would be proud of you trying to honor them in a memorable way. :-)

[@AskAngelaBrown]

I love the scrap book album idea. Great way to keep the items alive without keeping them. :-)

[@anneeinhorn9227]

Why don't you ask them what they would like? I would not assume a lack of interest, they may find the things beautiful and be happy to give them a home.

[@rmjett3761]

Thank you for your videos and ideas. They are so helpful and encouraging.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

You are so welcome! I am happy you like them- thank you for watching!! 🤗🙂

[@rocio1331]

At the same time I've practice my English I learned a great lesson. The lesson was great and lovely. We don't need things, objects all the memories are in our heart & minds. And in physical all memories fit in a shoe case. I have fabric bear that my mom did for me, I am 64 years old. Thank you. God bless you.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

What a lovely thing to say. Thank you and God bless you too my friend. :-)

[@kurtcurtis2730]

I enjoy your videos and personality as well.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

You are so kind, thanks!

[@candicejfathi]

WoW 😳 Love the idea 💡 of sharing my story with the camera 🎥- this is going to help me get through- over 50 years of sentimental clutter

[@AskAngelaBrown]

You got this!

[@barbaradwyer9802]

What a great perspective. Thank You!

[@AskAngelaBrown]

You're welcome! And thank you for watching the video. 🙂

[@WeRNthisToGetHer]

Wow! That's such a valuable thing to learn growing up. It's great that you realize that and recognize what value that unique experience had. No wonder you are so good at what you do now! She helped condition you to be successful at whatever you do!

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Yes! Thank you for taking the time to write this comment, I appreciate it! 🤗

[@cocasio7190]

Thanks for sharing your story with us!

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Thanks for watching and for taking the time to reach out. :-)

[@marina_m11]

What a delightful story, and such a helpful & caring message! Thank you for posting this, you do wonderful work & I appreciate you 💖🙏🏻

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Thanks for watching and for your kind words. You just made my day. :)

[@candicejfathi]

LOVE 💕 this - Hellen Clark was a gem 💎- Love 💕 sharing your story and your advice

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching!

[@glorialucas4988]

Thank you so much 💓 Angela.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Thanks for watching and for taking time to reach out. :-)

[@carolpowell6717]

Victorian Lace Angela, making lace collars threaded with a bobbin and worked with about 10 of them at or on a cushion, over and under and you see the lace form.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Oh wow, thanks for taking the time to comment and for watching the video.

[@reyita777]

Great 👍! So nice history

[@AskAngelaBrown]

I'm glad you think so! Thanks for watching! 😊

[@celticjen142baldwin8]

I love this! Thank you ❤️

[@AskAngelaBrown]

+celticjen14 2 Baldwin Oh thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement and support. I appreciate you. 👍

[@emcovebe478]

Wow, this is an amazing tool to help people with, thank you, very insightfull. Also loved your personal story too.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Thanks for watching. And can you imagine how much fun it would be for relatives to watch your memory movies later and get to know you and your relatives through the stories and stuff? :-)

[@emcovebe478]

@@AskAngelaBrown yes, that is also a great blessing!

[@candicejfathi]

Thank you 😊 for this advice

[@AskAngelaBrown]

My pleasure 😊

[@christineklutts3082]

Awe 🌹

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Thanks. :-)

[@mhrit17]

Such an amazing story. I wish I knew you in real life.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Aww...thank you so much for your kind words. And thank you for taking the time to write this comment, I appreciate it! 🤗

[@michalenestabler270]

Thank you so much for this video! Your message really hit home with me and is a great help! Again thank you!

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Oh wow, I'm so thrilled hear. Thanks for watching and for taking the time to drop me a line. :-)

[@anata.g.4966]

Thank you so much for this video! I just can't imagine you as a brat child LOL. I have no doubt you were a bright, special child.

[@AskAngelaBrown]

LOL. Thanks. I'm more even tempered now - but Mom was always pregnant (19 of us kids) andn she was hormonal. I didn't understand the chaos with all of us kids plus the hormones, plus the migraines she had and my role in it. I thought I was the victim and I was impatient and sour as a child. (The good news is that after Mom was done having kids and her hormones balanced, we became the best of friends - she is a dear soul. :-)

[@dblessed8783]

Angela Brown 👍🤣😂I do. No disrespect. Just, that, someone like you, with so many ideas, cannot possibly have been a quiet child🤣😂😂. And yes, I am going by experience. 🤣😂 Excellent channel. Awesome advice and great ideas! You exude great positive energy👍😁 Keep up your awesome work!😁🙏❤️💯🌻🌷🌺🌴

[@icingcake]

@@AskAngelaBrown 19 kids - oh my goodness 😵😵😵

[@ellenmuseum]

🥰

[@AskAngelaBrown]

Thanks for watching, sending hugs! 🤗